#imagine her sharing how much Sae influenced her in the wrong way

[a-mel-tomelts]

Exactly 30 tags.

I just got reminded of my feelings about Makoto by looking at choices, and thinking about how out of all the Phantom Thieves, she's my least favourite. How I'll actively choose her last. Which is - well, originally I was thinking "that's not something people would want to read, though, is it?" but then I remembered that I'd been asked to share my thoughts on her, and how I'd (re)write her.

So. Makoto.

I'm going to start out with the things I dislike about her, and address them as best I'm able, along with what I'd like to have seen instead.

The first thing that comes to my mind is a rather broad aspect, which is that even after she becomes a Phantom Thief and embraces her own rebellion, she has a bad habit of assuming that everyone should fit her own view of "a successful life" and that she's doing nothing wrong by helping others achieve that. This kinda seeps into everything else, and informs her failings.

The small - and not all bad - way that this shows through is in the way that she pushes everyone on the team to keep their grades up. She effectively acts as someone to remind them to study, who reminds them of how important their schoolwork is, and also how important not slacking off is when they're trying to keep a low profile.

The good part of this is that yes, most of them DO need this! They're not good at remembering to!

The bad part is... she only knows her own way of studying. So we end up frequently seeing scenes that have study sessions ending with Ann, Ryuji, or others going "I haven't been able to learn anything." And of course they haven't! They have different learning styles, and different needs. Ryuji especially is ADHD. This also kinda says to me how she's not as effective as the Student Council President as she wants to be - because she isn't flexible, and can't see her fellow students' individual needs.

I think that what would have been cool would have been if, after awakening her Persona and starting to hang out with the Thieves more often, there was a main storyline b-plot with her actively trying to learn how to connect with her peers not just with arcade games, but by talking to them about things that would actually help them learn better, which would be things that she could actively pass along to the teachers and would improve the school. If she paid attention to the study habits of her friends even, she'd be able to say "this works better for people like Ryuji, this works better for people like Ann..." and that, too, would be an improvement.

Or, alternatively, that could be a replacement for her canon confidant, which is... less than ideal.

Talking of her confidant... hm! A lot to talk about!

For one thing, when I was going through that story the first time, I thought that it would match the theme of the game if the guy Makoto's new friend was dating wasn't actually one of the bad ones, and that Makoto was making assumptions about people based on her own preconceived notions of them, but that... was hardly the case.

Like, yeah, that's an issue that could be brought up as a real problem, and there is a difference between those guys taking advantage of girls and a woman getting taken advantage of, but... there IS a certain irony and double standard that Akechi's mother was portrayed as a sex worker who committed suicide, and how the men are only allowed to be predators, not victims themselves. It could've just been one. And maybe this is just me! And it's kind of an aside to the point.

But yeah, we have her basically interfering with her new friend's life choices, and that's... another example of "everyone should do what Makoto thinks is best" in a way, and the game's storyline/script proves her right. It would have been great if something had proved her wrong, and forced her to think about her prejudices and assumptions!

Moving on, and I'm gonna quickly point out how she treats Futaba. Makoto trying to get Futaba to respond in a more neurotypical way and (basically) Just Stop Being So Autistic is painful. Thing is? Makoto as she is at this point? I wouldn't expect her to be any different. She's still learning. What I'd like would be if she could learn over the course of the story to just... accept people as they are more. Because yes, this is another point for "everyone has to be the way that Makoto thinks makes a successful member of society." But given how much trouble she has interacting with others, I do have to wonder - how much of this is what her sister drilled into her?

Perhaps, even, we could have had Makoto bonding with Futaba in later scenes over how neither of them really understand how to make friends or fit in with society, just in different ways. That'd be nice.

The funny thing is?

If you add up her canon traits - everything that falls under the umbrella of "people should act and conduct themselves in a manner that fits what Makoto thinks is best" - then unfortunately, you DO end up with the perfect kind of person who'd want to apply for a job with the police, whose JOB it is to ensure that everyone plays by the rules, and becomes a "good, functioning member of society," effectively.

This does not oppose her place in the Phantom Thieves, because the ones that the Phantom Thieves target are people who the law should be bringing to justice anyway, but because of the corruption, is not. The reason the theme of rebellion even exists at all is because the law isn't doing its job. If the law was doing its job, if people were good and kind to each other as they're supposed to be, then the Phantom Thieves wouldn't be needed. (This isn't me criticising the game for saying this. I actually agree.)

But being a cop isn't the way to go about creating change when she should know damn well by the point she says that she wants that profession in her confidant, and it's her own attitude that prevents her from seeing that.

If, however, there were all of these relatively minor changes to her writing?

If she was forced to see that her assumptions can be wrong, that she isn't always right about how the world should be and how people should act? If she learned to be flexible in helping others study and also in realising that some people just need to exist in their own way, and that's not bad?

Then she'd already be partway to becoming some kind of social worker, who'd be able to make an actual change in the world, and even if it's not on the big scale that she was thinking about, it'd still mean the world to whichever kids or adults she was able to help.

If she could find the temperance to learn a balance between "understanding how the law works" and "knowing that it does not always work in the favour of the people she wants to help" then she would be SUCH a better character.

And- like I said. All it would take would be a few minor changes.

Also as a disclaimer: I'm well aware that a big part of why she's written the way she is, as well as why she's so damn popular, is because she really is that goody two shoes character that has a veneer of rebellion without actually going the distance, so - especially in Japan, where she was created - that makes her more marketable.

As well, the game goes to great lengths to state how badly corrupted the police are, and I wouldn't be surprised if Makoto wanting to be a "good" police officer is its way of evening that out so that the game isn't seen as "too anti-establishment/police" when that would harm sales, or potentially get it to not be made at all.

[onceuponaloonatic]

“We shouldn’t have left her.” Nayeon sighs as she pours so whisky for both her and Mina. After leaving Sana at the hospital, they had gone back to their apartment. The babies were still at the hospital, the hospital had told them they needed to keep the babies for the next week for observation. They had planned to stay the night at the hospital with Sana that night, but since Sana had told them to leave, they went home to their apartment. 

“She told us to leave.” Mina argued, burying her face into her arms. “We were awful to her.” “I know…” Nayeon sighed, setting the whisky in front of Mina. “We’re pretty irresponsible parents, drinking whisky when we have four newborns.” Mina cracked a tiny smile as she swirled the alcohol around in the glass. 

“Well they aren’t here.” Nayeon sighed. “We didn’t even get to tell Sana their names….” “I know… I know we were going to leave it as a surprise for her after she was born but I wish we had told her when we decided on them last month.” Mina took a sip of her drink. “I miss her already.” “It’s been four hours Mina.” Nayeon looked at her wife.

“You don’t miss her?” Nayeon looked at a sweatshirt that was thrown over the back of the kitchen chair. It wasn’t her’s or Mina’s. “Of course I do.” Nayeon grabbed the sweatshirt, holding it close. She could still smell Sana’s scent on the sweatshirt. “I miss her so much.” Nayeon muttered. Tears filled her eyes at the scent. “Is this the end Mina?” “I think so…” “It was so short though.” Tears rolled down Nayeon’s cheeks. “We only had two months.” Mina’s own eyes filled with tears, seeing Nayeon cry. It hurt. It hurt so bad. She had so many regrets, they both did. They were both assholes, and they both knew it. They should have fought for Sana. 

They knew they were going to regret their decision for the rest of their lives.

xx 

“Saya shh…” Mina muttered, swaying the crying newborn. All of the girls had been fussy ever since they had brought them home. The doctor told them it was a combination of being premature and not being with their birth mother and that they would eventually grow out of it. “Shh, sweetie.” “Is Saya still not going down?” Nayeon asked, coming into the nursery and setting Sae down in her crib. Sae was deep asleep, having fallen asleep after Nayeon had bottle fed her. Saki and Sai were both already fast asleep, sharing a crib for the night. They found the girls slept better when they put them together.

“No.” Mina sighed. “I’ve fed her, I’ve changed her. Nothing is working.” 

“Well let’s take her out before she wakes the others.” Naeon mentioned, surveying the other babies. All of them were asleep, and Nayeon wanted them to stay that way for as long as they could. 

“Good idea.” Mina nodded, carrying Saya out of the nursery. She stood in the hall with the baby, gently rocking her still in hopes of calming her. “Saya… Please. Ka-san is exhausted.” Mina begged, looking at the baby. 

“I think she misses Sana.” Nayeon pointed out, grabbing Saya’s tiny hand. 

“You miss Sana huh?” Mina asked, looking Saya in the eyes. Saya’s eyes were shaped just like Mina’s, and she had a mole under her right one. “I miss her too, Saya-chan.” Mina swayed Saya, walking up and down the hallway with the baby. 

“We both miss her Saya.” Nayeon muttered, watching Mina bounce their baby. Eventually, they are able to get Saya to sleep, but it took quite a bit of work. Ever since the girls came home things had been hard. Having four babies was hard for any parents, but especially to new parents. They were exhausted, they barely slept, and they were just happy they weren’t working yet. They loved the girls so much, they were just so beyond tired.

Every time they looked at them, they saw Sana. They saw the little influences Sana had in their facial features and bodies. They had given them all Sa names in honor of their birth mother, but they would never know that. Mina and Nayeon had sent the money to Sana’s bank account last week. They had held off a bit at first, thinking Sana may come back. But after two weeks, they knew it wasn’t happening. Of course they didn’t want to let Sana go. It hurt them so much to give Sana up and they would do anything to get her back. But Sana had asked for space, and they respected her too much to invade that space. 

The girls missed Sana. Even at their young age Mina and Nayeon could tell the children all missed their birth mother. Not nursing had thrown a lot of them off, especially the two younger ones. They were smaller, and the doctor had told them they both needed more nutrients to grow properly, and that they may be a bit more stubborn about eating or using the bottle. They were. Saki and Sae threw huge fits when they were bottle fed at first, nearly refusing to use it. But eventually Mina and Nayeon were able to get them to use it, but they had been worried about it for a while. The youngest two were still the smallest, but they were growing now, which was an improvement from when Mina and Nayeon first took them home. 

Every night, Mina and Nayeon found themselves holding each other tighter. The physical intimacy helped lessen their pain a bit. They missed Sana. It felt weird not having a third body with them. Sana had been sleeping with them every night for the past two months, and not having her there was disorienting. They missed her. Things felt incomplete without her. Everything just felt so wrong without Sana there for them.

xx 

Mina and Nayeon knew things would be hard when they found out they were having quadruplets, but they never imagined it would be as hard as it was. They thought the girls were hard as newborns, and then they started walking. Saya and Sai in particular would just get anywhere if Mina and Nayeon left them even the slightest opening. They would run up and down the penthouse, Nayeon chasing after them usually. Bath time was the most chaotic, Saya and Sai hated baths so they would always try and run away before and after baths. Mina and Nayeon had to usually chase them as they ran around naked throughout the entire penthouse. 

They always took tons of videos of the girls as they grew. At first they argued it was for themselves, that as doting parents it was their job to take lots of videos. And most people believed this argument. But them, and their closest friend, knew that wasn’t the reason. They did this because they missed Sana, and thought if she ever came back she would want to see these videos. 

“Unnie, you know you're not fooling anyone.” Tzuyu commented one day. She had Sai in her lap, the two year old busy coloring. 

“About what?” Nayeon was filming Sae as the two year old played with her blocks. “About why you're pretty much always filming the girls.” Tzuyu had only met Sana in person once. Tzuyu was Mina and Nayeon’s best friend, and was the CEO of a company Nayeon had recently merged with. They worked together every day, and the two of them had become quite close because of it. Nayeon and Mina viewed Tzuyu as a sort of younger sister, and the younger alpha was quite fond of them. Plus she loved the girls, though she wasn’t a great babysitter to all four she did love them. And the girls loved their Auntie Tzuyu. 

“It’s cause they are so cute.” Nayeon giggled when Sae looked up at her. “Your adorable, aren't you Sae-chan?” “Yes.” Sae’s voice had always been the quietest of all her sisters, Nayeon found it adorable.

“You do it because you want Sana to see them.” Tzuyu resecured Sai on her lap, messing with the two year olds messy ponytail held up by a childish yellow pom pom hair tie. “Sana is never coming back.” Nayeon sighed as she put her phone in her pocket. “You want her to though, don’t you?” Tzuyu asked, looking Nayeon in the eyes. 

“There’s no point in wishing.” Nayeon nodded. “She’s never coming back, and it’s my fault. That’s just something I’m going to have to live with for the rest of my life.”

And Nayeon meant it. She would probably always regret it, but she knew she was going to have to live with the decisions her and Mina had made, no matter how painful they were. xx

“My teacher is coming back this week.” Saki mentioned to Mina as she helped her into her car seat.

“Oh yeah?” Mina hummed, buckling Saki in. “Wait isn’t Ms.Kim your teacher? I saw her today.” “No no, Ms.Kim is our temporary teacher.” Saki corrected Mina. “Our real teacher was gone because she was having a baby.” “Oh, that’s good for her then.” Mina moved onto bucking in Sae, who was busy playing with her DS. Nayeon had already picked up Sai and Saya, taking them to their sports practices while Mina got the other two kids from school. 

“Yeah, I’m happy. I don’t like Ms.Kim.” Saki watched Mina walk up to the front of the car, climbing into the passenger seat. “She’s mean.” “Don’t say that Saki.” Mina adjusted the mirror, briefly seeing her kids in the backseat. “Sae, you can play for now but when we get home you're going to have to put it up until after dinner.”

“Fine.” Sae whined. 

“Ms.Kim is mean. Hyemi said our real teacher is super nice, her older brother had her two years ago.” Mina started pulling out of the school parking lot as Saki talked. “I’m excited, everyone says Miss Minatozaki is the best teacher in first grade.” “Wait… Minatozaki?” Mina’s heart sped up at her daughter’s statement. She genuinely thought she would never hear that surname again. It wasn’t a common surname by any means, especially in Korea. Mina knew it could only be one person. Sana. Sana was Saki’s teacher.

“Yeah that’s our real teachers name.” Saki nodded. “I can’t wait for her to come back. I hope she shows us pictures of her baby, babies are so tiny!” Saki giggled. Nayeon’s sister had had a baby about two years ago, and all the girls had loved their baby cousin. Saki and Sae especially, they thought she was so cute and playful. Reality hit Mina even harder. Sana was back in her life. And not only was she back in life, she had a new baby. That meant she had moved on. Mina felt like she couldn’t breathe. Sana had moved on. And they hadn’t. That hurt Mina more than she ever thought it would.