#imagine being butthurt about being blocked by a stranger

[pinkyjulien]

This is a pure trainwreck holyshit

Make sure to post it on thread, bluesky and facebook too 💀

[cantcompetewhereudontcompare]

Literally no part of that story even implies anyone FORCED anything on anyone. Do you know the meaning of words?

I'm a sexual assault victim as well. A rape victim. A lot of women are. And you're really stepping outside of the line comparing a consensual kiss between two adults who were on a date and had previously kissed like, hours ago, to SEXUAL ASSAULT. YOU are triggering and doing all this for literally zero likes and a block. Please think before you send an anonymous cowardly as fuck ask.

Harry didn't take advantage of her. They went on a date, they kissed, she went back to his place because she asked to go. They shared a makeout session that was extremely welcome, which she literally described with a huge smile on her face. Your rape has literally absolutely nothing to do with any of this and it's extremely problematic for you to bring something like that up in this context.

She asked him not to do anything else and he was extremely gracious and didn't push or pout or complain whatsoever (bare minimum, btw, but you're literally claiming he ASSAULTED her so you know, not something I can NOT highlight).

They didn't go on another date because her phone broke right after that night and she had to change her number. She doesn't know if he texted her or not because she never got to find out.

If no other words other than the ones described in the video were exchanged it still wouldn't be anywhere CLOSE to assault or harassment or anything of the sort, but the fact that she's very obviously just retelling highlights of the night and we don't have a play by play of everything they said... and she's not claiming the kiss was unwelcome in any way whatsoever, she LITERALLY said how much she loved it and wanted it. How do you know there wasn't a text about wanting to be kissed? Or that they didn't talk about it while they had dinner? Or that it wasn't made obvious while he waled her to her car? How are you comparing non-consensual sex to A KISS? "My rapist was a man I had consensual sex with many times before he took advantage of me" is an INSANE thing to say in the context of them making out upon her arriving to his house to continue with the date they'd just had and kissing when he walked her to her car. Do you think people ask "can I kiss you?" every single time they kiss? LMFAO. No, you don't, and you're not making this claim in good faith. You're just butthurt I'm calling ZAYN MALIK A DOMESTIC ABUSER so you're trying to lash out.

If you're on a date with someone and have been kissing them, and then go to their house, another kiss is literally just a continuation of what you've been doing. Can you imagine being asked "can I kiss you?" before every kiss? Even during the same night? Like what a fucking ridiculous argument jesus fucking christ. After the fourth time asking if they can kiss me I'm gonna smack them around the face.

Comparing consensual adults sharing a kiss with rape is literally super problematic and extremely dangerous. I really hope you get psychological help if you think it's okay to send this ridiculous bullshit to strangers to try to come for a celebrity you don't like or because the stranger happens to not like a celebrity you do like. You're a fucking asshole who probably has no friends.

And just because of this message it'll be my motivation to actually show you how much of a cunt your favorite artist is. With real shit and not made up bullshit pulled out of your ass. Not because of coming for a celebrity, who gives a fuck about that? But because you could really trigger people who are actual survivors of rape, like me with your made up bullshit (no actual rape survivor would send this message, I do not believe for a second you were ever in this position).

And you should thank your lucky stars you haven't you fucking asshole. I hope you never do. Because I do not wish that upon ANYONE.

[ineedtopopmyzit]

2020

As I am laying on my bed, tired of cramping and feeling low, I want to reflect back on this year—the year most hated by many. Although this year was vastly different than many other years I have lived so far, I can’t say it was the worst year. Of course, this is just an opinion from my perspective and it’s not taken into the account of the many people who have passed away and whose lives have been affected by the virus. And may be this may sound selfish and careless because I am only merely looking at how this year affected me at the personal level. I think the more people emphasize this year, the less I want to give attention to it. In the end, what’s happened was supposed to happen, however it happened, why it happened isn’t as important as the happening itself. And I want to accept what’s happened/happening as graciously as I can. Not because that’s what I am supposed to do, but because I don’t like feeling devastated that something else was/is in control of my life. I honestly think that if things were normal this year I’d be actually more devastated. Perhaps me saying that is lacking self-belief and confidence, but I don’t know if I would have found a job this year. I don’t know if I would’ve been happy if I did find a job this year. I don’t know if I would’ve been as rested as I feel now. I don’t know if I would’ve feel as grounded as I feel now. For the last couple years, I feel like I was sprinting. And now that I was nearing the finish line, I was starting to doubt what I was running towards. I was running at such full speed that I couldn’t even remember why I was even running. Maybe I was running from depression, running from the past, or maybe running to the past, running from myself... whatever it was, the problem was that I was running and I was forgetting to stop and absorb and to reflect. And if it wasn’t for year 2020, I believe I would probably still be running towards something not realizing it’s probably not what I want. Don’t get me wrong, I am still directionless but at least I stopped running.

I want to reminisce at some of the memorable things that happened this year. And remind myself that I am still making life even when it feels stale, static, and unmoving. While it may seem lazy, unmotivated and lifeless, those fragments make white spaces that make a whole picture feel resound.

Remember we started the year by revisiting Little Women? It brought back memories of childhood. And I felt myself aligning home. Like two shadows of me emerging into one. And I appreciated Louisa May Alcott for writing such story that many others call mundane. I also felt a sense of pride for having a same birthday as her. Jo March, a character who marched to the beat of her own drum. She may slip out whatever words she conjures in her mind but she’s fearless, truthful, independent, free-spirited and self willing. And she always resonated with myself ever since I was little.

Then the dreadful breakup came. And honestly, the year didn’t start out great because of him. So breaking up with him in the first quarter was the best thing that could’ve happened to me this year. It was an extremely hard breakup but also it was relieving. He asked if I could consider keeping in touch with him once I healed, but now revisiting that conversation I think he was selfish to even ask that of me. I don’t know if I will. I guess I still need more time.

The breakup help transpire what came next. Which was just a dating binge. I have never been on so many dates in such a short span of time. I was on so many dates that it takes a little too much effort to remember them all but I shall try. The first date was with a German of course. He cooked me bratwurst and sauerkraut. I went to his house in LB after he allured me by telling me he’ll cook me dinner. Though I told him I am only going as a friend. I really considered having sex with him. But he just really wasn’t my type. I kept being reminded of someone I used to date whom makes my pussy so dry now. After that I lose the order of which guy came first. But I remember the Romanian lawyer. (I know I just had to paint a full picture of the guy I broke up with by making him into fragments... the guy I broke up from was a German lawyer) I think the Romanian lawyer is someone who I would give the most honorable badge to. I told him I was looking for a stranger to have a one night stand with. And I clarify that I didn’t want some cheap one night. I wanted it to be magical and everything I ever dreamed of. I would say this was like redoing my first sex experience. When I told him of my reasons why I wanted to do this, he was so on board with it. So much so that what’s happened between us can be a transcription of an adult novel. I bought a lingerie, he booked an airbnb over looking the ocean with a balcony, also we ordered a couple sex toys. We dreamt up whatever that was going to romance us and this was the time we were going to relinquish them all. Through the 2-3 weeks of planning, he was played the role well of a sensual romantic but not a sleaze, and someone who made me feel comfortable by opening himself up. The only thing I worried was that in person, he may not be my type. But to my surprise, when he showed up after an hour and a half drive to our location, he was definitely up to par. the way he dressed, and his friendly manner was all i was hoping to see. oh and of course the sexual tension was so pulling between us that we just had to get it out of the way when we met. He kind of reminded me of my ex, which was where i hesitated. But he gave me the most magical night imaginable. There were some awkward moments but he listened, he played, he caressed. We talked all night as we fell asleep after 2 or 3 rounds of long pleasure. and they way his eyes devoured me while wearing a lingerie is the look i will never forget. especially after my breakup, it felt really nice to be tantalized and wanted. he wanted me bad. and i wanted him more. but i’m not gonna lie, the sex was a lot of work. our good bye was bittersweet but that's the way it needed to be and nothing else. we were supposed to be two strangers who comes together to make a night of love that we’d imagine we’d receive and never to see each other again (although i couldn’t forget and had to see him 2 more times after this). let’s see... another date i had gone on was with an artist. i think i saw him a total of 2 or 3 times i can’t remember. i do remember the first date though, it was particularly memorable because we had bahn mi sandwiches on a beach i had never been to with couple of beers and that night when i had sex with him, i left with a yeast infection. yup. i particularly remember this because the planned parenthood i went to was the same exit as his house and instead of making a left turn, i had to make a right turn to get to it. i remember my date with a guy who was married to a half korean wife. he took me to gen and talked about how ridiculous it is that we all had to wear masks. it was clear from the dinner that what he wanted out of it was sex. then there was the jewish guy from new york. who clearly stated on his bio that he was separated from his wife. i had the most fun chatting with him but he was definitely looking for one thing. and somehow i understood that, but i just couldn’t bring myself to be one of his weekly girls. i felt downgraded. so i declined his offer. i went on a date with a guy who seemed really willing to move on to more than just sex but i was physically not attracted to him.. but what’s more was that he knew that... and kept asking if it was his height. and i think that to me showed lack of confidence and drew me even further away from wanting him. another date i went on was with a director guy from pasadena. he drove all the way to oc to meet up with me. and i generally had a good vibe with him but in the end we never hit each other up again. he even ended the date with “you are a really cool chick” but i guess it was one of those... you are a really cool chick for someone else. i also was not attracted to him in that way. this is when i realized, i prob like taller guys though i don’t want to admit that because it’s an age old socially constructed sexist belief. i had a phone convo with a guy who wanted to have me over and cook me wellington. he even said i could invite my sister. but the whole thing was fishy and he was real butthurt when i declined his offer. and clingy too. so i decided to never meet up with him and even blocked him. i went on a date with a banker. he wrote poetry and they were beautiful but it was ashamed that the writer had won no integrity from me. his words became distasteful because of his characteristic flaws of ghosting and showed signs of irresponsibility. he also seemed more immature than other guys. then on the last week of my dating binge, i went on a total of 4 dates. one was with a guy from my ceramics class. it was a friendly coffee date on a saturday morning. i really enjoyed his company although later on, he was a little too pushy about his feelings towards me and i had to be more direct with him about my intentions. then on one week day of the same week, i met a guy from baghdad who worked at verizon. i was hesitant about this one because he started the convo with “i can lick your pussy” but in person, he was rather more reserved. then that same night, i met up with another guy from baghdad except he was a much better choice. he was the second noblest out of all the guys i dated this year... he was even going to pick me up in his motorcycle from long beach. he held me, heard me, let me rest all my weight on his shoulders and we never spoke to each other again. then i had a virtual date with a guy who was in a severe motorcycle accident only 3 years ago. i thought we clicked but he ghosted me on our second date plan. i wasn’t even the one to bring up the second date. edit (1/9): i forgot 3 more dates... one was with a pessimistic korean guy. i figured i should ditch the archaic notion that all korean guys are bad. it comes from the divorce and mostly mom educating me based on her one experience of bad marriage. i thought his photos weren’t so bad so i went on a date with him... it was interesting to say the least because first of all, i got pissed at him because he was so opinionated while being rigid. he failed to understand my pov, and kept patronizing me. so i voiced that i am getting really frustrated that he wasn’t open to my pov, so he apologized. he also said that his friends would be shocked to find out that he apologized. also that he went to trader joes to top off our charcuterie board that i mentioned i wanted to do during our chat. oh and he brought me a handful of daisy sort of flowers on a gatorade bottle filled with bright colored water which i thought was really cute. but overall, i just couldn’t get passed his negative point of view of life and love. i felt like he was looking for an optimistic savior who would turn his opinions around. which definitely wasn’t going to be me because being a heroine for another movie other than an autobiography is def not my style at all. the second date i missed to tell was with a scientist who was a front-end developer at some bio tech company. very intelligent and eccentric. like shy but outgoing, relatable yet standoffish. the intrigue was that i couldn't quite figure him out. but there wasn’t any sexual chemistry. perhaps because he said due to covid he couldn’t get his veneers done and he had been wearing his temporaries for 3 months or some obscure amount of days exceeding its freshness that i couldn’t stand to smell his breath 6 feet away. and the not so memorable date was the one hot lawyer who had no personality. it was so disappointing. i had high hopes for him too. but needless to say, he was looking for a hookup. while i appreciate the honesty and upfront-ness, i don’t like the frankness of the situation. i would like to be romanced into having meaningless sex with you. but then maybe that would make me develop feelings. but he was so vanilla that i couldn’t imagine our sex any hotter. he was drier than a textbook. so standard that his cliche line for getting me into his bed was “i can give you a massage.” bore me. i get it... he said his sister was going through chemo and he really needed some good distraction. poor guy. but come on dude. he said he genuinely wanted to see me again... but he genuinely never reached out to me again. so that’s vaguely a totally of 15 dates? in the span of... May-Nov? 7 months? i guess that’s not too bad or too good.. it’s only 2 dates per month ish. i could’ve done more damn it. well i did have multiple dates with one guy(s). also i just remembered that one weekend was a back to back sex with 2 different guys. my pussy was not okay that weekend. the second night guy thought he did a lot of damage but the truth is it’s the first guy who did. it only boosted the second guy’s ego. but he needs it anyway. 

This year, I traveled solo for the first time. it felt liberating. 

Also, I decided that i want to go back to school and perhaps live in Europe. I am feeling encouraged every day. 

I reconnected with my dad. I figured it was time to forgive and reestablish a new relationship that i can nurture myself in. so far, i find it a little challenging at times but it’s definitely better than completely ignoring him. 

I no longer feel so broke, i had time to earn some money and put it towards savings. not a lot but i am not scrabbling for pennies every month like i was when i was in school. 

I think I've grown closer to my sister. we have a lot of fun times together always laughing and eating. we fight but i am trying to enjoy our friendship together until one day we have to part our ways and not live so close to each other anymore. 

I gained more self confidence? it’s more so that i feel better living in my skin. I try to appreciate my body and see less as a superficial shell. 

i have grown new level of appreciation for some of my close friends.