#imagine being a mermaid and getting cancelled for eating fish

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Merman Suguru lives in an aquarium with Y/N as his caretaker.

😭😭😭 ANON DO U REALLY WANNA CAPTURE THIS MAN?????????? HE SHOULD BE IN THE WATER SPLASHING AROUND I REFUSE TO SUBJECT HIM TO THE HORRORS OF CAPITALISM this is a cute concept though BUT WE CAN’T DO THAT TO HIM ANON :((((((( he should be a free little fish. eating salmon every day.

……… would that technically be considered cannibalism??? i feel like no but …????? maybe??? mermaids are evil as hell though i feel like they eat humans too SUGU WOULD NEVER but hm…

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Okay weird question:

If Bella was a mermaid... (stay with me)

And she and Edward met... (keep going)

She could turn Edward into a merman, (canceling his vampirism) or he could turn her into a vamp (canceling her mermaidism)... what would happen? Who would turn who?

(I swear to god I don't have a fic in mind, I just have a weird brain.)

I like how anon preemptively counters my "Anon, you clearly want to write a fic so go do it" response. Well played, anon, well played.

Shockingly, I think I have a fairly easy answer to this. Presuming we ignore how the fuck these two would even meet and what in the bananas is going on here.

Mermaid Wins

Oh, I'm sure Bella Swan is more than a little like Disney's The Little Mermaid's Ariel: I can see her desperately longing to be human in the sunlight, despising her appearance and thinking the worst of herself, and there's Edward literally glittering in the sun.

He is a god among men.

However, being a mermaid who, quite literally, doesn't get out much, I imagine Bella can't tell the difference between a vampire and a human.

They both have those leg things, don't they?

Edward may smell a little funny, and his flesh be hard as rocks, but he's just the shiny variety of human. I imagine Bella assumes he's a human prince or else a human further blessed by the gods.

And coming from a people who murders humans herself (depends what kind of mermaid Bella is here, anon) she, ah, wouldn't find that that weird. Or terrible.

She likes humans, sure, wants to be one but her people have a long history of singing them to their death.

But anyways, Edward, not being able to hear her thoughts. Probably is too awed by MERMAID to realize that Bella doesn't know he's not human. She's seen him in sunlight, he is a hideous monster! (That speech goes right over Bella's head, she thought he was talking about being human/not a mer person)

Then there comes the question. Does he clarify?

Unlike in Twilight, he's presumably in no danger of eating her. And she might swim away from him in disgust if she knew and...

Then he learns that she can turn him into a merman.

That he would be eternal, with her, and not a vampire.

He might not become human again, but he would be something that is not this grotesque crystalline ravenous gargoyle either. He would no longer thirst for human blood, his skin would be soft and opaque, he could live in the sunlight (alright so he'd have to hide in the ocean BUT HE COULD LIVE)

And Bella, sweet, wonderful, Bella, is his salvation.

He romantically tells her to turn him for he is willing to leave his entire life behind to live with her. Bella thinks this is so noble and tragic, that he'd leave all the joys and wonders of being human just for her (yes, he says, that's totally what I'm doing just now).

Edward turns into a mermaid.

... Then he angsts about being a fish person who still isn't human.

Caveat

Obviously, this depends on the pair being somewhat close to canon in terms of interest in one another. Bella might fall into the same boat as her canon self did for the same reasons, but Edward won't have Bella's scent. Her being so different could be lure enough but there's a large possibility of the shapeshifter effect: ew smell.

I honestly think that's the most likely and that Edward would view Bella much the way he does most shapeshifters in the series.

In which case, of course, neither would be turned into the other.

But at least Bella lives this time.