#imagine a puppy that's all too excited to go for walkies

[berisims]

𝒱𝔦𝔞𝔤𝔬 𝒞𝔦𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔥𝔢𝔩𝔩

"Everybody is a book of blood; wherever we’re opened, we’re red."

Poses: @akuiyumi | @helgatisha

[nerobarks]

imagine getting all gussied up and pretty for your master to go out on a date.

you're so excited!! you love going out, especially with them. this outing is basically a glorified "walkies" and they know how excited you are. you put on your prettiest collar, the one you tend to wear in public. not too in-your-face, but it definitely makes a statement about you and your master's dynamic. and you love it. you wear your favorite outfit as well, revealing juuust enough to look enticing, but not slutty. only your master gets to see you like that.

"who's a good dog?" your master coos at you as they open the front door of your home.

you just smile and hide your face in their chest. doggy brain, no words.

master drives, naturally. they open the passenger side for you to hop in and they instruct you to "buckle up, pup". you do, of course. the drive is short, but your master's gentle hand rests on your thigh the whole ride. it's such a simple gesture, but it gives you butterflies in your tummy every time.

as you arrive for dinner, you both walk hand-in-hand. they open the door for you, speak to the host for you, and lead you to your table.

to your surprise, the table is already occupied by two familiar faces. a couple your master introduced you to. you've only met them a few times, but you enjoyed their company. one thing is for sure though, they do not and cannot know about your little secret. suddenly, you're self-conscious about your collar, and your face flushes. you wouldn't have been so bold had you known you'd be dining with friends. they don't know the real you; how you beg, how you present yourself so willingly to your master, how you take whatever they give you with a dumb smile on your face...

a squeeze of your hand snaps you out of your thoughts. you look up at your master and they give you a reassuring nod then greets the other two sitting down. you smile and exchange pleasantries.

dinner goes swimmingly. you're actually having a lot of fun despite the surprise! the food is great, you're halfway through your entree. as you pick up your fork to have another bite, you feel a hand slowly slip between your legs. instinctively, you yelp, garnering a concerned look from your friends. they ask if you're okay, you nod and apologize, saying you bit your tongue. the conversation resumes. the hand rests still on your thigh. but not for long..

it begins to creep up, up, up, until your master's palm lands on your crotch.

fuck. you breathe. you keep yourself composed.

their fingers begin to massage your parts, slowly and tenderly. the pit in your stomach grows. master leans in and whispers in your ear "are you gonna be a good puppy for me?". you don't even react, you just keep your head forward, pretending to listen to the conversation and nodding when you think it's appropriate. the fingers on you become rougher, making it harder for you to stay calm. you clamp your thighs around their hand and begin subtly grinding into it. fuck fuck fuck. you're starting to lose it. you feel your eyes begin to glaze over. fuuuck. you feel saliva pooling in your mouth from the pleasure.

"darling, you haven't taken a bite in a bit, are you feeling alright?" master asks with a mocking tone only you could pick up on.

you wince, "o-oh, um, i'm actually feeling a bit sick."

"oh, you poor thing," they coo.

this fucking bastard.

"i think i'll excuse myself for a mome-"

"no need, honey." your master cuts you off, then turns to address the couple across from you. "i think we best be going, you two. i better get this one some medicine and put them to bed."

the way they talk about you would probably aggravate a normal person, but it makes you swoon. you're just a little pet after all. you need your master to take care of you. you can't do anything on your own.

your master takes out their wallet and puts a generous amount of cash on the table to cover the two of you, plus some. the both of you stand up, grab your belongings, and say your goodbyes. the other couple didn't seem to mind, it was getting quite late after all.

you take your leave, hand-in-hand once again, another dozens knots forming in your belly thinking about what awaits you during the ride home and, even better, once you get there.

part of you wishes they would've stripped you naked and fucked you right there on that table in front of that whole restaurant.

maybe next time.

[ennoshawty]

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

[allie1804-fan]

Kerensa

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5 , Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9,

Chapter 10

Reunion

8th September. Kerry looked at her phone again, reading through the last message from him. He’d be here tomorrow. Ever since he’d started messaging, she’d hoped she might be able to see him again, maybe they could talk again about their feelings. She knew now that she loved him, that she couldn’t just be friends, it was pointless denying it but maybe he’d moved on. But he was coming all the way to Cornwall to see her, that had to be a good sign right?

“Come on Scout, walkies – I have got to get some fresh air through my brain!”

She did her best to keep occupied as she waited. Luckily she had the cottage to clean on Friday morning for a couple who had booked it for a long weekend. That meant she could put all her fears into energetic scrubbing, polishing and vacuuming while the hours counted down.

She had just sat down with a cup of coffee in her kitchen when he appeared at the open door.

“hey” he said tentatively

Her face broke into a wide grin which he matched.

“Come ’ere”

She went to him, a little cautiously, still wondering how this was all going to play out. To her delight, he gave her the biggest bear hug, whispering into her hair

“boy did I miss you!”

“Me too”

He let her go and they just stood for a few moments, smiling and drinking each other in.

“Pub and a fish finger sandwich?” Kerry volunteered.

“Yeah that sounds just the ticket”

They walked down to the harbour and got a table outside in the late summer sun.

Over lunch she caught him up on her publishing news – she finally had a deal and was currently working with an editor to select the stories that would go in her first collection. Then she also had a novel idea so she was excited to be pushing on with her writing ambitions finally.

He told her about his latest projects and what he’d been doing in London.

“So I saw Cariad yesterday ......” he said, a secret smile on his face at having this surprise to share with her.

“Oh my god, you did it? The Griefcast?”

He nodded

“Yup and you were right, it WAS good for my soul. It won’t be out for a while but I’ll give you the heads up. I guess you’re subscribed anyways right?”

She nodded, taking another bite of her sandwich.

“Wow, I’m so pleased you did it. So it was OK right? Not too painful?”

“I did almost lose it, quite early on, but then we got into it and, it felt, errr, really good to remember them both and tell someone else about them. I hadn’t expected that. Cheryl thought I’d gone off my rocker when I told her I was doing it!” he chuckled at the memory.

Kerry laughed “I bet she thought you’d been taken over by aliens or something”

“Pretty much!”

They chatted on, the conversation light and factual, then with lunch done, they settled the bill.

“Do you want to go down to the beach?” she asked

“Err, no can we just head back to yours? I’d like to talk to you, somewhere private”

“Oh, OK”

As they walked up the hill, he dared to take her hand in his. She looked down at their intertwined hands then back up at him, a small smile on her lips.

Back at the house, she poured them each some ice tea and they went outside to her courtyard and settled in her swing seat.

“So” Keanu began

“So?” she queried

“So, I wanted to tell you a bit more about when I went home, not just what I’ve been doing but how I’ve been feeling”

Kerry swallowed hard, wondering where he was headed with this line of conversation.

He took her hands in his and held her gaze.

“You see, the thing is, uh, the minute I was heading home back in June, I wanted to turn around. I wished we hadn’t left it, left us as a lost cause. I wished that we’d found a way to be together. And once I was home, my friends all said I was like a lovesick puppy! They told me to get my sorry ass back down here and tell you, sweep you off your feet, whisk you away but I don’t know if it’s just me who feels this way I don’t know what you want. I mean, I’d move here in a heartbeat if that’s the only way to be with you! Is there Hope Kerry? My beautiful Sweet Kerensa, please say there is!”

His eyes were soft and pleading, not to mention glassy with unshed tears. Kerry stifled a sob and threw her arms around his neck, burying her face there, breathing him in. His arms came around her and held her tight but she still hadn’t said anything and his heart fluttered with worry.

Even when he pulled back to look questioningly in her eyes, she didn’t declare her feelings but rather stood up and said “wait there”

She was back quickly, holding something made of dark grey fabric. She sat down next to him again on the swing seat and handed it to him.

“This is yours”

He shook it out, revealing a grey Arch Motorcycles T-shirt.

“I found it balled up under the bed after you left. I’ve washed it, but only yesterday. Before that, I was sleeping with it every night breathing in your scent and wishing so hard we hadn’t left it the way we did. So yes, Keanu, there is hope. I’ve missed you so much - I fell in love with you back in May and I do want to be with you. I just don’t quite know how we’ll make it work but I know I want to”

He silenced her then with a kiss - only this time no one had to stop just as the fireworks started - their tongues danced together and he moaned, pulling her tight against him, hungrily drinking her in. Eventually, he pulled back smiling broadly then giving her contented little pecks on her lips, cheeks and forehead.

“So” she asked “what do we do? Have you thought about what you want, what might work? How we can do this?” she gestured between them.

“Well, you know, before I came, I kind of played out the different scenarios in my head, you know a) I declare my love for you and you say “sorry but I realised after you left it was just infatuation” or b) before I even declare myself, you introduce me to your new boyfriend” Kerry snorted at that

“as if”

“or finally c) that it would be ok and the feelings would be mutual” she gave his hand a squeeze at that.

“So when I let myself run with option c) I imagined that we’d go back to Tresco, where I really started to fall for you and what I imagined is talking there, you know, about how we make it work and, more importantly, actually doing all the things I dreamed of doing with you when we were there before.”

“Like?”

“Like holding your hand, like putting my arms around you, like kissing you, like making love with you……”

Kerry blushed, hiding her face against his chest “so before I came I made some arrangements, you know, living in hope”

“You did?”

“Uh huh, so I hope this is ok”

“So tell me”

“Well I spoke to John, and he’s going to look after Scout for a few days and sort out the cottage after the weekenders go, and tomorrow at 11 we’re flying out to St Mary’s (I decided not to put you through helicopter hell this time!) and then we’re going back to the New Inn only this time I’ll be free, I trust, to show you what I wanted to do so often when we were there in May. Is it OK?”

Kerry looked up and into his eyes, a warm smile playing on her lips. She held her hand against his cheek

“Yes Keanu, it’s very, very OK.”

Then she kissed him softly slipping her arms up around his neck They kissed for a while before she pulled away “How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?”

“I feel the same”

Later they walked Scout along the beach and had an ice cream then went home to pack their things ready for the morning and have a light supper. By 10pm, Keanu was yawning.

“You’re probably still jet-lagged aren’t you?”

“A tad maybe. Uhm, where shall I sleep?”

“Err would you sleep with me? Just sleep I mean.” Kerry rushed to clarify “It’s not that I don’t want you but, err after your speech about Tresco, I really want our first time to be there. Is that silly?”

“No, not silly at all. I want that too”

“wow a man who’s prepared to wait!”

“I’m an old man remember, not a horny teenager, well I am horny, just looking at you makes me horny. “ Kerry giggled.

“But I still want to wait”

“Well ok then, glad we’re on the same page”

They locked up and went to her room where they were both proud to say they just slept, Keanu spooning behind her, his hand gently cupping her breast through her pjs.

Kerry woke at 8, feeling Keanu’s warm breath on her neck. She wanted to pinch herself. When he’d said he was coming, she had felt some hope but how things had unfolded was beyond her wildest dreams. She started to move, then felt his grip tighten and a low moan rumble against her before he planted a soft kiss on her neck then whispered:

“don’t go, you’re so lovely and warm”

“I have to shower and dry my hair and we’re leaving in not much more than an hour”

“Ok, just 5 minutes more then I’ll take Scout round to John. Is the food still in the utility room?” (Keanu had looked after Scout himself once when Kerry had a meeting in London whilst he was renting the cottage.)

“Yup”

Kerry turned in his arms and gave him a kiss

“I’m so glad you’re here”

“Me too” he grinned and kissed her back before throwing back the covers to get on with their trip preparations.

@fortheloveoffanfic @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @toomanystoriessolittletime @ladyreapermc @paperplanesandwallflowers @patric9

[cocoarosalia]

Rocking the Cradle Chapter 7: Backpacks and comparisons

Marinette was feeling pretty proud of herself as a new parent. Despite her midnight run with Chat she stayed up all night making sure Elly’s first day of school would go smooth as silk. Made her clothes, made her lunch, packed her bags, all the things a proper mother should do.

Now if only Eloise could appreciate her mama’s hard work as much as she did.

Elly was struggling so hard to stay up straight, her body lurching from side to side as she was weighed down by her heavy pastel yellow lamb backpack.

“What did you do to my grandchild” Sabine questioned from the bakery counter.

Marinette exuded pride over her work “Prepared her mother. Elly has everything she needs for her first day.”

Sabine was unimpressed “Really now? Elly my dumpling may I see your book bag?”

The kindergartener was more than happy to drop the lead heavy bag off her back. Sabine hoisted in onto the counter, opened it up, and pulled out the contents.

“School supplies, Lunch box, Extra clothes as a just in case. Ok so far so good” Marinette smiled smugly, feeling overly proud.

Marinette’s mother looked up at her blankly “Calculator? Really?”

“She might need it.”

“She’s five”

“A smart five year old”

Sabine disregarded her comment and continued “College ruled notebook, a protractor, a usb drive, an IPAD!?”

OK, now Marinette was feeling less confident and smug “Maybe she’ll want to type her notes out?”

Again she was ignored as the new grandmother pulled out useless item after unimportant item, leaving the bag with barely half of what was originally packed.

She gave it back to a very grateful Eloise and returned back to her misguided daughter.

“Listen honey, I know first days are hard for a parent.” She said sympathetically. “Trust me it took everything in me to let you go for the first time. But, Eloise is a good girl and a very smart one at that so I want you to trust that she’ll be ok, got it? For me, cause I can’t check her backpack everyday for things like this” she held up the pink decorative Ipad, chuckling.

The blushing bluenette nodded, feeling silly about how nervous she was. Elly was a very good girl, but with all that she surely has gone through, separating from her almost felt like betrayal and she couldn’t forgive herself if her little one ever felt the same.

‘But mom is right’ She thought to herself as she walked herself and Eloise out the door ‘I do need to trust Elly more.’

Elly then broke herself from her mother’s hand to run into Adrien’s arms “Papa!”

“And how is my little ray of sunshine this fine morning” He replied, hoisting her up onto his hip  with a smile that could melt anyone’s heart

“Mama packed my bag with too much and it made me fall over and over. Nana emptied it but now my back hurts” Marinette blushed at her bluntness

“Haha, well how about I make it better with a gift?”.

Little green eyes lit up in excitement “Really? You mean it!?”

“Of course anything for my little sunbeam”

Eloise was beyond excited she climbed down her father’s side and bounced up and down elated to know what her gift would be.

Adrien reached into his backpack and pulled out two little gift bags “Ok elly, pink or yellow?”

Marinette stifled a giggle as she saw Elly deep in thought. “Pink” she said decisively, figuring that she had enough yellow with her giant lamby book bag.

Her papa handed her the bag and wasted no time ripping it apart revealing a yellow padded, highly decorated iPhone. She couldn’t be happier as she ran around her papa’s legs hugging him in thanks

Her mama was a little less thrilled “A phone though? Who does she need to call?”

A proud grin spread across her partners face “Ah ah, this is no phone. It’s just a state of the art version of a walkie talkie. All she can really do is press a button to call one of us if she’s in trouble and we can video chat and radio her whenever we need to check in.”

...ok now Elly was a little less delighted

She tugged on her papa’s pant leg and with a blank disapproving expression politely asked if he could take it back, stating that she was a big girl and was only going to daycare.

‘Well, she’s certainly taking on my polite stubbornness.’ Marinette thought as she patted a dejected Adrien’s back.

“But I special ordered it just for her” He whined

“Yes, yes. Trust me I know the feeling. But, she is a very bright little girl and she’s survived before us so I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

“And I had programmed so many games into it too.”

Again, there was a tug on Adrien’s pant leg. He looked down to see a bashful look on Elly’s face as she twiddled her fingers, too embarrassed to look up at him.

“Papa,” She started on a wavering voice “I feel really bad for what I said earlier. I can understand if you don’t want me to have it anymore but… I’d really like to have my gift back. It was a great gift and I shouldn’t have given it back so meanly so...I’m sorry papa”

There were tears in the big blond’s eyes as Elly put on her best puppy dog face. His heart melted into a warm pile of goo.

“Oh, I could never be mad at my little ray of sunshine! You’re way too cute to say no to! you can have it back sweetheart!” He exclaimed as he spun her around in his arms.

‘So she’s an actress too, huh? She really is a bright girl.’ Marinette thought to herself. She didn’t have the heart to break up the scene though so she let them have their Father/Daughter bonding time.

After showing up to school, dropping their little one off at kindergarten (Which took far too long, to the point where the teacher had to shoo them away and they were almost late to class) they took their respective seats and awaited for class to begin.

Their teacher came into the room a few minutes later, although slightly tipsy. Clearly they had a fun time last night and was kicking them in the ass today.

“So, as you can see class last night was a hoot for me” The professor said finally with a slurred voice and head planted firmly on the podium “And therefore, because I have a raging hangover and am practically comatose, I would like for you to converse with fellow parent groups and share your experiences...or don’t. Quite frankly I’m about 15 seconds away from vomiting on the floor sooo have fun with that.” And with that the teacher just...quietly laid down on the floor face down and awaited the sweet embrace of blackness.

“Sooo, how’s my niece?” Alya said after ignoring the blatant display of irresponsibility.

“Turns out she’s turning into quite the little actress. She played Adrien’s heart like a fiddle”

“Hey!” the blond interjected while his best friend laughed at him “My Elly was truly remorseful for her actions. Did you even see the broken tears in her eyes?”

The blue eyed girl held back a laugh (But only barely) “Was that before or after you shared that you put games on her borderline iPhone”

Adrien had no real comeback for that.

“Really man? An iPhone? Look I know you’re rich but don’t rub it that clearly in our faces.” Nino retorted

“It was a walkie talkie!”

“With facetime and Mario run attached”

“Ok a very helpful walkie talkie”

Alya rolled her eyes “Well Sammy and Sophie have been a total dream when it comes to adjusting; I mean, they’re already calling me mama and they’re super helpful around the house”

Nino snorted as Alya cooed about their shared toddlers. “Do you have something to share DJ Daddy.”

“Oh no not at all Mama Wifi I was just thinking that blogging must be a great way to keep oneself in denial if that’s how you see them.”

The blond and blue parent pair could already see that things were about to go south so they just kept quiet to avoid any cross fire.

“What the hell are you talking about Nino” she growled, pissed that he would ever say anything negative about her babies.

“I’m just saying that whenever I’m with them they’re class A trouble makers. Pranks, destruction, the complete ruin that is my laptop.”

“Oh please, they clicked around on one song. You will make it I promise.”

Nino was exasperated “ONE SONG, That song is a mix which took me a month to cultivate!”

“They say destruction is just the breeding ground for creativity” Adrien chimed

“Can it golden boy or I share what’s under your bed.” Adrien stayed silent “Alya are you really about to tell me that they’ve never acted out with you”

Alya just shook her head.

“This is insanity and I am no longer having this conversation anymore.” The aspiring DJ then got up and left the class for the bathroom to regain his sanity.

“Hah, having parental troubles are we?” said a smug and pampered voice from the opposing side of the room.

“What do you want Chloe” Alya snapped back

“Oh nothing I just think it’s interesting how you can’t even handle taking care of two 5 year olds. Don’t you have 2 sisters at home anyway? With a house that crowded I can imagine they would get claustrophobic.” Chloe then let out an obnoxious laugh that filled the classroom. Alya would’ve gotten up and punched the air out of her but a calm voiced seemed to handle it for her.

“You do realize that last night our son Noah kept sneezing and you had a whole fit about it right? All of a sudden armageddon broke loose and you called every doctor in paris to come and fix it only to find out that it was cause he was allergic to the perfume you used. You then took three consecutive showers, cuddled and apologized to him until you both fell asleep”

It was unbelievable the pride was evaporated right out of her as her flushed red face whipped around to scream at a very uninterested Nathaniel who was doodling away at his art book.

“Well you’re the one who decided to spend hours on some painting of him” She fumed at the red-head

“Oh no how dare I, An aspiring artist, work on a piece of artwork on my adoptive son. What was I thinking?”

She was raging hard but no one was convinced; It was clear that despite her anger she really was just an overly concerned parent like the rest of them.

Honestly Marinette was surprised. She thought this project would be hell for Chloe just for appearances sake, but to see how far she would go to take care of a kid who was in no way related to her AND  she hadn’t known for more than three days? It showed that the queen bee had a heart and in all honesty the secret hero could really admire than about her.

But that’s how class went, everyone just talking back and forth about their kids and their different quirks. It was nice seeing how much everyone cared and more importantly how genuine everyone was about making sure they were good parents to children less fortunate than them.

It was heart warming really once Mari really thought about it. And then she looked over at Adrien laughing along with the whole class. Her mind began to wander. ‘How does Adrien really feel about all this. Yea he loves Elly and all that but...does he mind doing it with me? Ugh and on top of that I haven’t even been consider it enough to take her to meet his father. God, I’m a terrible partner’ Her face visibly fell and she put her head on her desk, quietly moping.

Which didn’t go unnoticed.

“Hey Marinette you ok?” She had heard him say. Her head popped up instantly to give him her full attention. She then realized how silly she must look and retracted.

“Oh yea totally just tired. You know, up all night making sure Elly was ready for school.”

She thought she had covered up her downer mood well enough to get him off her scent

But what he said next made her realize that she could never be a criminal in her entirely life.

“Well if that’s the case this friday let me take her off your hands for the weekend”