#im young! im trans! barely a year on hormones! why this pessimism in me when ive spent months seeing myself become more and more myself!
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#its so fucking weird that ive just accepted that i wont have sex that i will love completely#im young! im trans! barely a year on hormones! why this pessimism in me when ive spent months seeing myself become more and more myself!#i should be full of energy and hope. but when a friend or a queer person online starts talking about how good it feels to have sex#and how varied their sex life is it feels like theres a rusted spike slowly piercing through my chest#is that yearning? jealousy for my fellow queers? its not like the sex i have is bad#i enjoy it i really do! its just...#im always for the better or for worse a top#i make my friends scream from pleasure#find what makes them tick and then drive them crazy. while no such attention is given to me.#i guess its just jealousy#ill just keep waiting i guess#even though it hurts#rambles
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