#im writing part 16 and i cant wait to get there with you guys

[jj-stay]

bathe in passion pt.6

Word count: 1K

Pairing: chan x stya{ stay /reader}

Genre: fluff

Rating: PG-16

Warnings: suggestive, hickies, scratches, reader can't walk, the cringiest convo ever, my worst writing of all time {sorry}, horrible writing style,

☪️ Master List ☪️

Chris woke up and saw the sun hit her face. he then recalled all they had done the night before and remembered it was her first time and that she had just lost her V card to him and he now felt bad for making her sleep with him in that way after she had asked for them to go back to sleep he felt horrible. he regretted forcing to do that instead of when she was ready on her own time. he felt that he should have listened to her and let her go back to sleep like she wanted to even if it caused him discomfort or he could have gone to the bathroom to try to knock one off. He loved her in every way possible and he felt absolutely horrible for doing this he felt as though he had hurt her as if doing this to her had disrespected her, her wishes, her belief, her body, everything.

he felt awful. he wanted to do nothing more than to make it up to her, but the marking that littered her skin looked like works of art. he looked at her neck all the way down to her cleavage, where the blanket had reached to cover the rest, all had been covered in bite marks and hickies and love marks. there was a big part of him that felt proud, then felt guilty for feeling that way after he had forced her to lose her V card to him. you woke up to see him looking at you with a sad guilty expression not able to be hidden at his weak excuse of a smile.

you thought he was regretting sleeping with you. was it because he realized that your chubby stomach was gross or he realized it wasn't as beautiful as he said

"hey baby, i am. so. sorry for making you do something you didn't wanna do i never should have forced you to lose your V card to me i should have waited for you to be ready and now i feel horrible and-"

"ok first off calm down"you said stopping him in his speedy rant

"secondly you didn't force me to do anything i agreed to it-"

"but" he replied.

"no buts"

"you didn't pressure me to do it either it was just what i needed otherwise i might have never been ready"

"if anything i should be sorry that im not good enough i bet all the stretch marks made you feel disgusted and my chubby belly made you regret sleeping with me and for that i am so very sorry"

"okay first of all, what on earth are you talking about your body is the most beautiful thing i have ever seen in my entire life you are amazing in every way and i am honored that you let me be your first time you were amazing im just a little disappointing not in you but in myself for leaving so many marks on your beautiful skin {doesn't have to be white skin i know some of you beautiful chocolate queens have been feeling left out dont be flaunt that chocolate color mama} but i also feel extremely proud i kinda want to do more and wish i did on every inch of your body"

"and if anything your stretch marks are tiger stripes"

"so beautiful and shows off how brave and fearless you are and your body your curves are everything to me the very things that drive me insane that makes me understand why guys will want to watch and stare but still wont stop me from being jealous a little "

"you are especially sexy when you wear outfits that show off all your curves "

"and if you still don't believe me on that wasn't the Greek goddess of beauty often seen to be thick with hip dips and if the goddess of beauty can see the beauty in you why cant i ? "

"that was the sweetest thing I've ever heard thank you my love" you said.

"no problem" he replied.

"lets go get breakfast"

gets up and gets dressed when he hears something loud coming from the bedroom and runs back in to see you on the floor. he took a moment to take you in the fact that you were littered in hickies and love bites all over your abdomen all over your breasts neck collar bone and thighs had bruises, hickies and bites.

{he was still shirtless had a couple hickies but they would have all been hidden by a T-shirt easily}

"you mind helping me out i cant walk "

"or stand for that matter" you stated.

he smirks and picks you up and takes you to the bath which he had already set for you.

"aww you already set me a bath, so nice"

"thought you might want a nice hot bath after last night ." he winks at you.

you blushed.

"oh, and sorry for the scratch marks on your back "

"What?" he rushes to the mirror turns around and sees those scratches would be easy to hide with the t-shirt as well.

"yeah its fine "

"i would say sorry for the hickies but we both know that I'm not." he says as he smirks. leaves the bathroom and goes to the kitchen still shirtless and started making breakfast for everyone and that's when it hit him.

everyone.

as in the guys.

the guys he shares a dorm with.

his group mates.

they were here.

and with how loud luna was he highly doubted there's a chance they didn't hear.

just as he thought that ALL the guy walked in all looking tired

"I hope it was worth it."

"you know keeping us up all night"

>:( jisung pouted.

chan turns around.

"Yeah, sorry, i forget you guys were here."

minho: "what ever judging by the scratch marks on your back im guessing you did good, so im proud of you "

chan blushed so hard "lino what the hell dude " extremely embarrassed

binnie: "haha he's so red right now"

"baby come get me pls im done bathing and i cant stand up to dry off" stya said.

chan was now red-er that hyunjin's hair in maniac

lixie: "wow"

"my bro took away her ability to walk"

"I'm impressed yet somehow not surprised you could"

chan: "LIXIE!!!!!!!"

seungmin: "hes not wrong though"

i.n: "hes not wrong though"

chan got so flustered but he just turned off the stove after he had finished cooking and went to help stya.

[yveltalreal]

☀️ i just like the way maple talks in general, like their writing style, her humour, or the way he argues over the internet because of something stupid

ysee part of that is because im like that and its easier to write characters that are similar and part of it is like. maple is 16 and i need to make that crystal clear. she loves being a little hater. everyone is like ohhh 14 year olds have 14 year old disease and that is true but no one mentions you get a second age related disease called being 15-17 right after. hes literally just a silly guy who does things for the bit and because she has opinions on everything ever and will make sure you know this. she got the beef with people online autism instead of the science or math autism (this is a lie shes a stem girlie too)

i cant wait to reveal more of her freak behavior and stuff cause the second she can engage in more of the stuff people post about shes gonna beef like no tomorrow and back up all her shit with "source: fuck you"

[quintenrosenburgwrites]

EEE IT WAS GREAT!!! I LOVED READING IT!!! I CANT WAIT TO MEET THE REST OF THE FAZBEAR GANG AND LEARN MORE ABOUT OLI!! IM SO INTRIGUED!

Questions and thoughts I had while reading!:

Do all humans have magic? Or is it just Oliver? Or I know Vanessa changed the badge back but was that a mechanism in the badge itself?

How long was Oliver following crypteds for before he joined fazbear?

NOOOO POOR CHICA 😭. GOOD ON OLIVER FOR AT LEASE GIVING HER A LITTLE BREAK.

Oof. Oli’s speed running getting fired the way they talk back. Maybe subtlety is what’s needed here?

Oooo hopefully Henery called Vanny back in to fire those scientists >:( at least Chica wasn’t re restrained? progress???

:O URPLE GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BIGGER GASP. HELPY!!!!!

Oooo Potential menacing wall of helpys. There is no end, submit to the help /silly

FRICK UEAH VANNEY GOT SUSPENDED

An apology? From Henery?? Doubt >:|

Hehehe Oliver’s getting so much walking done today. Five bucks says they get lost again

Booo urple guy ruined my bet. He’s the janitor? Does. …does he work the Night Shift?

HAHAHAHAHA MICKEY D’S IS A GREAT NICKNAME. PFFTT MIKE WAZOWSKI

BWAHAHAHA OLIVERS NICKNAMING SKILLS ARW MY FAVORITE. HANKLES XDDDD

Huh hankles actually feels bad? Guess it’s a good thing Oli joined! otherwise he wouldn’t have known!

Oli. Oliver no don’t Talk to your boss like that /concern. Hehehe the person they hit with paper turns out to be William /silly

EGGS BENEDICT

Yay Chica gets food!!!

:DDD I'm glad you liked it! I'll try and answer all of your questions! (Also responding to the reactions bc those are incredibly fun to read LOL)

It's not just Oliver, but it's not all humans either! It'll be expanded on a bit further in the next chapter

They were following cryptids around from 16 to 19, up until they found out about Fazbear Containment. They didn't really have anything better to do, and even if it was only 3 years they learnt a lot!

Yeahhh it's gonna take a while for all of them to be treated right. Oliver's probably gonna end up being like. the moral council or something LMAO

They um. Impulse control is not their specialty SDJFSDKLJFKL if they think something and it gets past the singular filter they have (which is EXCLUSIVELY for moral stuff) they're saying it and dealing with the consequences later

The only thing I will say about this is Vanny is definitely gonna be playing a bigger role later but not the one you might expect, same thing with Henry :)

urple :DDD also I PROMISE he isn't william i wanted to make a storyline that follows a different villain bc. also do not remember the reasoning for this but I do wanna clarify William Afton will not be showing up (at least in person) unless i change my mind later! Normally I don't like spoiling that kinda stuff but I don't wanna accidentally make anything misleading :D

Helpy is so underrated I needed to include him in this

If an AI uprising ever happens, you'll know who it REALLY is /j

>:DDDDDDD

(Using this space to apologize in advance if Henry is ooc, I dont remember shit about him aside from like the basics of what he did, so im kinda just making it up as I go LMAO)

They cancelled their gym membership cause they're already getting all the exercise they need while trying to navigate their new job /j

:) yet another situation where he will play a big role but probably not the one you'd expect!

coming up with those was the most fun part of writing this LMAO

I was having such a hard time with Henry's nicknames. like. i almost had Oliver call him Henjamin franklin.

Hankles becoming increasingly horrified at the conditions the cryptids are living in:

Oliver would've definitely already been fired if they hadn't been put in this job as a way for the government to try and contain them (half joking here. uh. also will be expanded upon later) and the person hit with the paper will always be William in my heart /silly

My thought process: "Hmmmm... What do I name this random scientist? He needs a name, obviously. Even though he will probably never be mentioned again. What name can i use that will be a funny reference.......... oh my god im a genius" /hj

Oliver teaching themself how to cook so they can bring her a five course meal as an apology for all the shit she's had to deal with the past several weeks:

[sturniologurliez]

Hey guys this is kind of part of my book that I'm trying to write tell me what you guys think

Warnings: mentions of death and k!lling urself and that's about it

Word count: 930

hope you guys like it

In my veins

Chapter 1

“Why can’t you just be like a normal girl this is not feminine” said my mom “What is wrong with hoodies and sweatpants” “ there just not feminine you need to be more feminine or your not going to get a husband” omg this women “ im only 16 I cant marry anyone till im 18” “ so start looking for guys you never go out anymore after what happened” “ omg mom can you stop bring him up “

Texting your best friend 

I'm so done with her she keeps bringing him up.

Omg what happened this time.

She was telling me how I need to be more feminine like, be for real .

Ya im sorry im not there i will be back in like two weeks.

AHHH that's too long.

It's not my fault we have to go to a different state because of my dad.

Ughhh wtv be safe and i love you. Love you too.

In your room…

Why cant she just stop bringing him up like that was 6 months ago. And I don't ever go out because I know I might see him and I never wanna see him again. We were like two magnets you put us together and we never wanna be separated. We were young and we still are young but there are sum things that should never be like me and him. Ya i still miss him but i just wanna forget him my birthday is in 1 week and i still don't even wanna celebrate it bc that's when we got together. 

I just cant with this anymore i need my bsf.

<You start to get ready for bed and right as you are about to go get into the shower you mom calls for you out in the kitchen.>

I'm coming hold on_ you yell your mom and as you walk out of your room you see her crying_

<you ask her what wrong and she tells you to sit down>

I'm so sorry Aphrodite

but your friend Iris was in a car crash with her dad and the car went in the river they didn't make it. As your mom told you this you You couldn't believe it it was like a nightmare that you just couldn't wake up from you didn't know how to react you just broke down crying so sad you just thought you lost it and thought to yourself what do I do now my best friend just died and things have been rough  lately even with her here and now without her what am I supposed to do all I can think about is just crawling into a whole and just staying there forever I just don't know what to do it's just this is just too much I don't know how to deal with this I don't know how to live without my best friend I don't know how to do this without her I don't know how I just don't.

Chapter 2

2 days go bye since you found out your best friend died…..

Haven't came out of my room and 2 days I haven't ate anything I'm leaving I've done is just lay in my bed curled up in a little ball what am I supposed to do if you're not listening in four days all I can think about is what if I was there what if just what if all I can think about I can't believe this is happening to me my birthday I don't even want to think about my birthday anymore all I want is for my best friend back I keep getting these agonizing thoughts of what if I just ended all  What if I start drinking again by stars smoking me and what if I just OD but if I just  kill myself what if I just do that so that I don't have to suffer all this pain again what have I just do that so that I don't want to have to feel like this what if I just want if just can't deal with this anymore this is all too much I just don't know what to do I'm just falling into a depression again These thoughts just keep coming to my mind 

You start to clean your room and you start to write letters and grab as many pills as you can and run to your room hoping that your mom doesn't see you you say good night and that you love her you Take the first 20 pills that you could find and drink half the glass of water And then you take the rest you finished your letters you clean your room you made your bed now all you have to do is wait 

You wake up in the hospital a burn in my throat  my mom sitting in the hospital chair crying You think to yourself what did I do wrong this was supposed to work Why didn't it I'm supposed to be with her right now not in a stupid Hospital you start crying and your mom looks up from her hands  she's basically jumps out of the chair and captures you in a hug saying Thank You Lord thank you thank you so much you just start crying even harder unable to control your tears and tell your mom you're sorry I said please don't ever scare me ever ever scare me like that again lucky I walked in your room to bring you your clothes cuz you forgot them you were seizing.

(this was just a quick writing and its not proofread)

[pwblogarchive]

June 2006

June 1, 2006

a letter to myself 10 years ago, from myself today (idea lifted from d.e.)

dear peter,the first and foremost. i miss you. not the people around you or the world you call yours. i am not who you think i am. i am not who they say i am- by "they" i mean the lovers and the haters. i am in between, still normal and ordinary. i dont know what you would think about the place i am standing right now. its funny i never pictured myself here, simply because i did not picture myself existing anymore. i am sure you know what i am getting at. its kind of funny almost. after seeing the top and the bottom. id have to say there is a much better view from the top, but you have alot more friends at the bottom. even when im trying to disappear its halfhearted. im almost there. you know? the only thing you got is that goddamned pen forever. it will be buried in your hand. youre gonna learn alot of things but none of them will include: unconditional love, modesty, grammar, or impulse control. id like to think that you wouldnt hate me. but who am i kidding? spotlight or no spotlight thats always kind of been your thing- its just kind of funny that its in fashion right now. i never did anything just for a buck back then, and i still wont. dont give up on me. in some ways i think i am walking away from all of this as we speak. here are some books you should read they will make your head rest easier at night, more importantly they will help you understand yourself:the old man and the seaour lady of the flowersthe green hills of africathe motel lifethe every boythe heart of darknessfirst love, last ritestake care of yourself. i am waiting on a letter from ten years from now

.posted by xo @ 2:05 PM

June 3, 2006

my phone cuts out in the same place every single day ("the gospel of gossip").

dear 310,

you can truly think yourself to pieces.

writing too fast for you to keep up.

and why would you want to anyway?

true oranges and sedated blues.

or is it the other way around?

i am millers paris. she is always humming. i hate it.

i wish for autumn. i am always thinking of breath in the air and leaves burning somewhere. somehow i attatch it to feeling okay.

in a running home from school kind of way.

just as easily as you run away from your problems, you can run home to them.

moodswings have kind of become protocol around here. like something you have to cross off of a checklist and then have your supervisor sign.

there isnt enough breeze in the suburbs tonight.

i imagine them to be like italy sixty years ago, only with less flamboyance and wider streets.my head is sticking to the pillow like sleep doesnt want to let me go.

writing alot lately. its like i always just want to mean something, something more than me.

its getting old.

i want to be more.

you make me want to be more.

to be shot out into space or to discover a cure to something terrible.

you cant denie, there is something nice about chicago. calming.

where your waiter is just your waiter and the doorguy is just the doorguy. not the place where everyone wants to be something they're not.

not as thought it matters but it feels safer.

she looks at me like she knows how fragile i am.

but i, we, all have inside of us continents like he said. vast and lush. full of guns and loves.

like the two were different by definition.

but they are the same. linked if only by the way that you will always remember your first ones.

then she said, "many african cultures dont believe in the concept of future".

fuck your futures.

Posted by xoat 4:16 AM

June 5, 2006

Stick around long enough and everyone becomes parody of themselves (see also: if it could happen to the egyptians if could happen to you).

you dont hate me, you hate the part of you that is like me. i cant sit here and ride my flaws until the end because the truth is i live the charmed life because of you and them. we are a gang. maybe its time to disband. im not sure i am thinking clearly but i just want you to know that i waited on you guys calls all night- they never came. i just wanted to say i miss you or im sorry or you know something that would have meant something to you. i would have made it poetic and memorable or at least something you could laugh at while drifting off to sleep. always trying to relive the glory days.

i dont care how poorly these sentences were constructed or how in the light of day i will wish i had not written them- right now i can only curse the fucking light off of this stupid western city because it wont ever get dark enough for sleep but otherwise how could you guide your way back here?

my head always feels warm right before i pass out, i always worry that there is something wrong and i wont wake up or you know i will. promise me that you wont take anything i ever say too seriously

June 9, 2006

“jim dear and darling.”

sometimes its like whats the point in anything. i am glad i have figured you out. it took one million times. but on one million and one i gave up on you. its the opposite of losing your virginity, its the opposite of dreams.im glad i got the chance to be a complete nerd and talk to superheroes on the red carpet. im glad i didnt waste it on movies and people i wasn't obsessed with. i am glad i am three thousand miles away from you right now. i am glad for the view out of my window. it doesnt feel like a prison more like a new start. its funny the way a wish and a curse are so close to each other, just like a grudge and a promise.thank god that shit wasnt live cause i have a mouth like a sailor. edit.im not a boomerang and youre not badnews. were just nothing at all. thanks for helping me figure it out. two lies in one sentence has to be a new record for you, so congratulations.sometimes the people that i only know through these songs and this screen make up for ones i have known for years. thank you for your birthday wishes. they meant alot to me. whether you know it or not.the birds are starting to sing the world awake at my house. get here soon morning."i wish i could stop being around people, i guess i am just addicted to it."w.e.

posted by xo @ 2:19 AM

June 10, 2006

“lets be alone, together.”

"here we are, alone again. its all so slow, so heavy, so sad... ill be old soon. then at last it will be over.so many people have come into my room. theyve talked. they havent said much. theyve gone away. theyve grown old, wretched, sluggish, each in some corner of the world". celine "death on the installment plan"i think i hear the tapping of rain on the roof but only in my head because i wish it so. i have some romantic idea of myself in some dirty apartment in paris writing words that will be cirtically analyzed and translated into languages from countries that i didnt even know existed. but this isnt france in the 30's and i dont have the knack for that kind of wit. tried to put my hand through a wall today in a disagreement i had with myself. i came out ahead and behind if you get my meaning. i think i just wanted a wound to take care of as they seem to be easier to look after than either a plant or a dog. stubborn and stupid are not far off from eachother in the dictionary. we have the same conversations day-in and day-out, im not sure why i even call anymore. just so its not just me talking to myself. though it seems to often be that anyway. im not sure if its schedule or even when it goes into remission its just a phone call or bad day away. i have to hope everyone and everything else is just like this as well or else this is gonna be a pretty lonely ride that goes on for far too long. i am looking at each word that proceeds the word i am currently typing. they look terrible to me right now. or even write now.dear liar, how could i ever ask you to stop. that would be like telling a carpenter he couldn't use a hammer or more like a surgeon he couldn't use a scalpel, because you are indeed precise.sometimes it feels like i am addressing myself surrounded bypeople who are also by themselves.posted by xo @ 10:36 PM

6/11/06 Q&A

question

I just got done watching “Dead on Arrival” and I wanted to know how old was Patrick in that video? Back then he was hot but now he is HOTT!!

answer

im not sure. they had delivered him to my door in a baby basket the stormy night before. the note on the basket said “amazing” but i didn’t realize how true those words were until days later, thanks for adding the capslock, it really captured the feeling.

question

Hey Pete What is your favorite kind of cereal?

answer

currently: frankenberry- 1000 fobrock scene points to the first boardie to name to the two monster cereals that used to be a part of the count chocula family.

question

hows it like being 27 now ? :)

answer

same flaws, concerns and boredoms with just one more candle on the cake. you know what, maybe next year is our year.

question

Have you ever eaten like, four boxes of blueberries before? Cause ya know, blueberries rock hard.

answer

i didnt even know blueberries came in boxes. hence, i am no expert. i like blueberry gum though. i swallowed a bunch when i was little, even though my mom said it wouldnt digest, so that in a million years when they dig up this civilization they’ll know what kind of candy we had.

question

Who cusses the most? Who the most solitary or the quietest?

answer

pete cusses the most and is the most solitary andy or patrick can be the quietest joe likes long walks on the beach holding hands with a man made out of weed… just kidding. we all have different sides to our personalities. just like you morgan.

question

Petah please listen to this amazing song I am obsessing over. It is called EMALINE and it is the live version by Ben Folds 5. I think you will like it. XO

answer

one of my favorite songs ever is this one ben folds song. its called “the luckiest” go listen to it and then have your ears, brain and heart write ben a thank you not for writing it.

question

Hey. Since you guys own Hottopic, could you PLEASE add more H.I.M. merchandise? im looking for a HIM beanie hat online at hottopic.com but i cant find it and i really wanted it. will you please add more HIM stuff?

answer

could hottopic possibly have more h.i.m. merchandise? i love him. im pretty much sure thats all i ever see in that store.

question

can patrick play guitar??

answer

nah. not a single note. hes never even held one. wait i thought that thing said “keytar”. oh a guitar? no he’s never even held one.

question

what keeps you going each day?

answer

sadly. involuntary functions like heart and lungs. but following that: you. honestly.

question

Pete!I just broke up with my boyfriend and I`m completely heartbroken.I can`t eat or sleep.He says the only way we can get back together is if we are friends with benifits.I want him back I just don`t want him to date anyone else.Am I wrong?Thanks for your music-it`s gotten me through some hard times so I wanted to say THANK YOU!!!love you and the boys.

answer

i dont think im qualified to give any advice on this anymore. im pretty much a wreck in all relationships, platonic or romantic.

question

transformers: the movie. how does this make you guys feel?

answer

it will never top the first. with the “you got the touch” song in it when optimus dies. and the way the guy yells “shit” in it. so classic.

question

dose it ever get werid knowing that millions of people know who you are and you have no idea that that person even exsist ???

answer

im not too sure anyone really knows who i am. but in the grand scheme of your question, yes it can be kind strange.

question

Is it okay to feel lonely all the time?

answer

sometimes it seems realistic. other times it just seems too predictable.

question

Peter I made a mistake and I had unprotected sex. I like this guy, but he seems a little strange, bc he makes remarks to me about how he wishes my dad would walk in and see us. He also asks me degrading questions while we are getting intimate, such as where I want it. What should I do about him?

answer

i wouldnt waste my time on someone who treats me that way. i would suggest cutting your losses and finding someone who won’t treat you like dirt.

question

is there any bands you would like to work with?!

answer

the format.

question

Do you think FOB would have the success it does if Patrick has decided to be the drummer?

answer

No.

question

Hey Pete haave you like forgotten about this website or something?

answer

i tried to. but im too addicted.

question

how cum ur older than every1 else in the band? like waaay older. okay not waaaay older but like 3 years or so. just wondering.

answer

andy is 26 and i am 27- patrick and joe are younger because tazakistan wouldn’t let us adopt any orphans our own age.

question

would you guys ever go on Oprah? If she invited you on for an episode. If so, what do you think you would talk about.

answer

sure id just on her couch and say some crazy shit.

question

On 4-14-06 *MEGYN* asked if now that your signed for a bigger label, do you care less about your fans and more about the money and you told her to talk this to the band from under the wallet tree. what does that mean? do you care more about the money or the fans that have been with you since the begining?

answer

no no no, thats the name of the recording studio we built on the moon to record the next record with. i mean we had to do something with all the piles of cash and i was getting sick of lighting cigars.

June 13, 2006

“blue pills / black nights”

history has proven thatyou can put despair on play/.repeat and it will go on forever.and if its loud and bright enough it doesnt matter how much money you have to buy the things you want or how brilliant you are told you are or how the right girls smile at you or how the best cameras flash at you.it is all you will hear or see.posted by xo @ 12:23 AM

June 15, 2006

me and you underneath the honeymoon. I'm not sure if you know but every night I've ever had that white hoody I slept with it. And when you had it back it was hard for me to sleep. And everytime I've ever left I kissed that thing you drew on the board in my room. Now I don't have either. Anything you've ever done I could forgive or forget. Except this. It was something I held sacred and I

xo

June 19, 2006

“im pretty much just a lawyer with the way im always trying to get you off”

i dont mean to have you worried or troubled. its the last thing i want. never take anything i ever say too seriously. youd need a search party to track my moods. who knows where they went? i guess this doesnt make sense. but in some strange way this is me saying thank you for always being there on the other side of this monitor.i am watching reality bites right now.the most exceptional thing about you is how ordinary you believe you are.i want to be kepy.i am a bull.she is a china shop.posted by xo @ 9:44 PM

6/19/06 Q&A

question

you guys looked uber classy rolling into the mmvas with those kickass shirts. what was up with your hand though?

answer

the fratellis put my hand in a blender cause i wouldnt tell them where the goonies were. but seriously. its just got a couple scratches, totally fine. no worries at all. just gotta keep it covered for infection.

question

pete… whats this i hear about policemen and cheerleaders and “the works” at the muchmusic awards? how very diddy style of you. oh and pete…is that you i hear on punchlines new cd? the line in caller ten when a voice goes “maybe fate can only go so far” or something like that? it sounds just like you. danke gleichfalls.

answer

we thought it was hilarious. the cop was a friend and the cheerleaders we met yesterday- so the only thing we had planned was the drum corps. but we thought it was something funny to do. our sense of humor sucks. we apologize.

question

i would like to congradulate your guys for winning an MMVA last night and your performance was ausome. they saved the best for last!! anyways i was wondering, do you guys like performing in Canada and hows the new album coming along?

answer

thank you. we are really happy because it was again a fan voted on award. it made us feel all warm inside. we love canada.

question

Enjoying the World Cup Pete?

answer

yeah but not as much as korean tom cruise. the koreans pretty much are slaying. france was bummed yesterday. i was not.

question

I was just wondering if you guys have ever seen Pump up the Volume with Christian Slater… I have turned it into my best friends new favorite movie.. She thinks that Happy Harry reminds her so much of Patrick … that made me smile for some reason… Have a good day

answer

we called patrick stump up the volume for a couple of weeks in a bad period of nicknames.

question

Pete, you say the phrase “At the end of the day…” a lot and now I say it too- Got any other good phrases I could borrow?

answer

my friends bonnie and leslie say “totes” all the time instead of totally and people think they are a riot.

question

Did you know “JT LeRoy” (AKA LAURA) listens to you guys? Weird.

answer

thats insane. he/she is one of my favorite contemporary writers.

question

does patrick really like baseball?because he sometimes i see him wearing orioles and mariners jerset/shirt things.by the way, im sending him a padres one if he likes it or not.okbyee.

answer

i dont think he even knows they are teams. he just likes bright colors. its cute.

question

I saw DROP DEAD FRED the other day on tv. What is your favorite part of the movie???

answer

probably the dogpoop part. or when his head gets stuck in the refrigerator. sometimes i feel like him. pretty irritating with a horrible sense of fashion.

June 22, 2006

sex and the city (the part theyll never tell you)

its strange here this time of year. because the weather never changes.

it is always summer here. so it doesnt feel like the same desperate love of these three pages on the calander. or at least not what i am used to.

sometimes the worst wishes are the ones that come true.

yellow and white lines to the coast.

you can learn to love anything if its around enough.

some people learn to love their mistakes.

shakes hands. "thank you, our time is up".

what keeps you coming back?

i got a long rap sheet.

(the statute of limitations is running out on you pretty fast).

the powders wet. the sparks arent coming.

the hammer isnt hitting. its spinning.

you can learn to love anything.

Posted by xoat 4:34 AM

June 22, 2006 

“i pack heat like an oven door.”

the circles under my eyes are a sign that says "do not trespass".there is moss growing on the roof of my mothers room.i am jealous of the time she spends thinking of it.it is bright. no matter what chemicals they spray it with-it thrives.and late at night the rain falls like bachelors for bad luck girls.i am jealous of the way it breathes the drops while i just heave.if i had any sense id send her a thank you note for the way my heart wouldnt ever give up on someone.my dad was a weekend warrior.but at least he was fighting.usually with my mother or mortgage broker on the other end of the phone,as i was hushed and pushed out of screen doors.if i had any sense id send him a thank you note for my sense of adventure.consult the map of a world that does not exist.simply part of the no future generation.only (st)all(ed) dogs go to heaven, only the worng dreams come true.sleepwalk of the stars. there is too much green to feel blue.i am jealous of the late bloomers as i am of the wallflowers.in this world of shit. fertilize me.dont worry, youre safe.i am just a tiger sleeping in the shade.just tiptoe by.blackmail myself.give us what we want or youll never see what you love again.i thought you said you were "non habit forming".i thought you said you were "safe to use at night"."use only as directed" and so on.i came back to you.only its more like a relapse.count a thumb then two fingers in.thats the one i want.posted by xo @ 3:52 PM

June 25, 2006

“i am your best imaginary friend. (white lies, gray love).”

at the end of it the only thing that we are promised in life is a hole in the ground. sometimes it gets you through the rough patches just to think that you could change someone. it makes you love them to think that they would change for you. but like i said before its more like the james bond series than anything else- different actors, same character. same shitty dialogue, same shitty songs for the same hearts. and anyone that says any different is a goddamned liar or worse, is just too much of an optim to pay anything mind. talking to you is like selling fire in hell. it can be done, but youre probably gonna have to tell a few white lies to make it happen. and anyone that changes only does it in front of your eyes and changes back when in the blackness of their own room. anyone can paint a gutter to make it look like gold. it only feels strange when the paint washes away. "love me with your head, not your heart". cigarettes on window sills. i love the way the smoke curls off of your lips. it makes me think we are in a period piece until the lexus hybrid drives by the front of your house. its efficient, just like you. went to the pride parade today just besides no one gives a compliment like a drunk gay man. when you are thinking about the first place where it all went wrong- please keep me in mind. you are ancient history- whichever side of this sentence you are on doesnt feel so great. you lob reassurance at me only im playing a different game. somtimes you just want to know that all is okay with the world and that you can sleep tight. only it never is when you need it to be. i keep talking and never say a thing. sleep easy. be well.i am still. i cant think of a single thing. it hits me like a wave. get me out of my mind."ransom notes keep falling at your mouthmid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outsspeak no feeling no i don't believe youyou don't care a bit you don't care a bit"i am a sentimental pessimist, dont blieve the fucking smile ever.love,the hot mess.posted by xo @ 10:30 PM

6/25/06 Q&A

question

So when do the FOB action figures and barbie dolls come out?

answer

come on. youve seen the bratz pics. theres no way we’d put out action figures. dolls with outfits maybe. hahaha

question

I watched “The Lost Boys” for the fist time the other day and i was just wondering what your favourite part was. Mine would have to be the “woah death by stereo” part. please respond.

answer

“maggots michael, youre eating maggots. how do they taste?”

June 27, 2006

“what are they going to arrest me for? being awesome?” i woke from this dream today: i was riding a motorcycle in the desert with this world jumping next to me the whole time. it could jump really far. then my dad was there and he said the wolf was bad news and couldn't stay. i lost it and picked up one of those desks with the table attatched (you know like from little house on the prairie) and asked him if he wanted to die. he said yes. then i threw the desk and he said no he didnt right before he died. i then woke up and brushed my teeth but the toothpaste tasted like it had gone bad. then i woke up for real.kind of crazy.i had to call my dad and make sure i wasnt throwing desks at him over wolves. you know.food for thought again, consider this crash dieting.patrick could sing the phonebook and you would still swoon.currently writing songs.sometimes i watch kids in spelling bees and get so jealous of the talent they have. i wonder what it would be like.did you see the corners of my mouth turn up for a second today? cause i caught you looking.more tomorrow. i miss being on tour. i miss playing shows every night. i hope you love the new songs so we can play more shows.cantsleepcantsleepcantsleep."we must never be apart"...watch: barflyread: death in installmentsposted by xo @ 1:12 AM

6/27/06 Q&A

question

Hey, Pete. Check your aol email for “I was bored” sent today, the 27th. I sent you another poem on the 22nd called “P.E.T.E.” It includes stuff from the Q and A and what I have read elsewhere. Love it…laugh at it…whatever…Be happy and do not fake it.

answer

simply because this has been posted over one million times- there is no aol email account anymore. if it is important please just post it in the q and a…

question

hey pete… what do you do when you feel everything falling apart? who do you turn to?

answer

smashing pumpkins “ava adore”

question

What was the biggest show u guys have ever played and do u ever get nervous before u do a show?? thnx ..luv ya always

answer

i think the biggest was madison square garden or bamboozle- cleveland/dc on the bcandu tour were big as well. i always get nervous, mostly that maybe noone will care about the songs anymore. you constantly suprise me though. thank you.

question

i was wondering when the next cd was coming out?

answer

we are currently getting it ready so either late this year or early next.

question

i just got a guitar, and its hard to learn, got ne tips?

answer

turn it up loud and headbang alot.

question

is it ok to love patrick and you BOTH?

answer

sure. you could even love joe and andy. i bet you could fit us all in your tiny dark little heart.

question

Jason, you awesome i loved that striped jacket you wore to the MMVAs lol its funny i was at that store the day before, question: what do u look for ina girl, cuz im just dying to be her

answer

thanks, jason is a big fan of babez- jason likes girls that will buy him burger king and drive him to band practice.

question

I guess Ill try to ask again…..or maybe Ill ask everyday until you answer =P Cause I HAVE to know…..who is singing at the beginning of one of FOBs old song “Honorable Mention” because it really doesnt sound anything like Patrick, but it sounds like he comes in later. Plzzz answer! Lots of love, your biggest fan AsHeLy (Seriously, I know the words to almost every song youve ever recorded)

answer

its patrick i swear. puberty arrived about a week later. it got stuck in the mail.

6/29/06

question

Pete Imagine this: Patrick (with his hat on of course) playing in a bathtub filled with bubbles and has a toy boat, army men, and a rubber ducky. Then he puts all the army men on the boat and pours a huge cup of water on the boat and laughs when all the army men fall in the water.

answer

i dont have to imagine. i get to see it in real life.

question

why cant I choose love AND sympathy?

answer

because usually they seem to be the same thing.

question

pete how many hairstyles have you had?

answer

when you date a hairstylist you end up getting alot of hair cuts. lets settle on some insane number. like 1 gazillion.

question

so do u ever get tired of people whining to u about their problems. cause i def think peeps should own up to their problems and deal with them

answer

i often wonder if people are sick of hearing about my problems. because thats all these words have ever amounted to. we are in it together, kind of, i suppose.

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Nine

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

(fluff and smut)

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight

Masterpost

Harry left early the next morning. He needed to get home to edit the photos he took on Friday. You took a shower, and got ready for your mom. She picked you up at noon like she said, and you headed to the mall.

“So, what do you need to shop for?” You ask her on the drive there.

“I wanted to go to Macy’s to look for a new comforter set. I had some coupons, and I’d really like a new one. You can pick one out too, if you want.”

“Thanks, I may have to take you up on that. How’s the baby?”

“Oh, he’s wonderful. I have my day with him tomorrow. I can try to Facetime you during lunch so you can see him, if you want.”

“I’d love that!”

Your mom pulls up, and parks near the Macy’s entrance. You walk with her to the bedding, and look at some sheets, these you could definitely use.

“Hey, mom what do you think of this color?”

“You really like blue don’t you?” She laughs. “Don’t you have these already? Why not go for like a blush purple.”

“Oo, that would be nice. I love a light purple.” You grab a pack of light purple sheets.

“Let’s go find some comforters to match.”

You two discuss which comforter would look good on her bed, and which one would look good on your bed. You find a white comforter that had purple and black flowers on it. A nice change from your plain, navy comforter. You two put everything in the car, and then head back into the mall to look at clothes.

“Do you need anything new for work?”

“Mom, you just spent like $200 on me, you don’t have to buy me clothes.”

“I really don’t mind sweetie, I like being able to do these things for you.”

“I have so many work clothes.”

“How about date clothes? You’re seeing someone now right? You’ll need some new clothes to add into your date night rotation.” You’re not sure how to explain that you’ve already moved past the date night phase.

“That would be great.” You smile at her.

You go in and out of a couple of stores, not finding the right fits. You start to wonder what stores Harry shops at.

“Honey?”

“Yeah, mom?”

“Do you have any pictures of Harry you could show me? I’d love to see what he looks like.” You reach for your phone, but then you remember you don’t have any pictures together.

“I don’t have any of him, but let me check his insta real quick.” You remember you haven’t even looked at the private account he let you follow. He’s not the selfie type, but you do find a pretty recent picture of him and Niall from around Niall’s birthday. “Here, he’s on the left, obviously, you know what Niall looks like.” Your mom takes your phone and squints.

“Oh my, he’s handsome! Well done.” She hands you back your phone.

“He’s kind of my boyfriend.” She stops short.

“Come again?”

“Last weekend, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I said yes. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I was just trying to enjoy it before I told everyone.”

“He must really like you.”

“He does, and I really like him. I know it’s only been a month, but we have a great connection.”

“Alright, I’ll trust your judgement on this.”

You both continue walking. You decide to go into H n M. You could usually find something cute here. You and your mom split up so you can divide and conquer. You meet at the back where the dressing rooms are. You end up getting a green jumpsuit that had a cut out in the stomach. You and your mom decide it’s cute, and she buys it for you.

“Okay, you are now done spending money on me.” As your mom is about to respond, you hear someone call after her.

“Mrs. (y/last name)!” You both turn around and see Niall…and Harry. Shit. You’re not ready for him to meet your family. His face is red, he clearly isn’t ready either. Niall jogs over to you both, and Harry takes his time. He stands awkwardly, and mouths I’m sorry to you.

“Niall Horan, is that you?” She says, giving Niall a light hug. “Good to see you, honey.”

“Good to see ya too, what brings you into town.”

“Just taking my baby here shopping.” She coughs.

“Oh, sorry, um, mom, this is Harry, my boyfriend.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” He sticks his hand out to shake, but she swats it away.

“Don’t be silly.” You watch as your mom gives Harry a hug.

“What are you guys doing here?” I ask. You suddenly feel like a teenager, bumping into your crush.

“Boyo here needed some new jeans, so we’re on our way to J. Crew.” Niall answers for him.

“Would you boys like to have lunch with us before you shop? We were thinking of grabbing some food.” Your mom says.

“Mom, I’m sure they were just making a quick trip.”

“Lunch would be great.” Harry says, surprising you. “I’m starved actually. We were on our way to the Mexican restaurant just down there.”

“Mexican sounds great, are you okay with that sweetie?” Everyone is looking at you.

“Um, sure.”

Harry takes your hand in his as you walk to the restaurant. Niall makes conversation with your mom.  He pulls you closer to him so you can speak without being heard.

“I’m so sorry, I completely forgot you said you and your mum were coming to the mall.”

“No, it’s not your fault at all. Does Niall always go shopping with you?” You giggle.

“No! He asked me what I was up to, and I said I might come here, and he asked if he could come. I think he wanted to brag about Sarah. He also was really worried about you. Sarah told him everything.”

“Of course she did.” You roll your eyes.

You get to the restaurant and your mom asks for a table of four. You get seated pretty quickly at a booth, which makes things awkward because you really want to sit next to Harry, but don’t want your mom to feel awkward either.

“You two can sit next to each other.” Your mom smiles warmly. “You don’t mind, right Niall.”

“Not at all.” He slides in next to your mom. You sit across from her, and Harry across from Niall.

A waitress comes over with four waters, chips, and salsa. She leaves us to look at the menus.

“Honey, what do you think would work best for me?”

“I think taco salad would be pretty mild, mom.”

“So you don’t like spicy, but your daughter does? Interesting.” Harry says.

“When I was pregnant with her, I had cravings for buffalo chicken and all sorts of spicy food. I think that’s why she likes it so much. And it’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just more of an age thing.” She laughs. “(y/n), what are you gonna get?”

“I’m thinking some tacos with just veggies.” You furrow your eyebrows at the menu. “Would everyone eat guac if I order guac?” Everyone nods. “Great.” You smile.

The waitress comes back to take your orders. Harry orders vegetable nachos with dairy free cheese. No wonder he liked this place, lots of vegan options. Niall, being courteous, orders a vegetable enchilada. Niall has seen you gag at a table too many times, he knows better than to order meat around you.

“So, Harry, what do you do for work?” Your mom asks kindly.

“I’m a photographer. I work for a geographical magazine, and also do some freelance work on the side.”

“Oh wow, (y/n) used to be quite the skilled photographer. She took her own senior photos in high school.”

“Is that so?” He looks at you and smiles.

“Mom, please.” You beg her not to embarrass you.

“What? Everyone asked you where you got them done, remember?”

“Why did you take them yourself?” Niall asked.

“Because I know my best angles, and I actually hate when other people take my picture, so I just did it myself.” You shrug.

“Seems valid to me.” Harry also shrugs.

“So, tell me again, how exactly did you two meet?”

“I set them up.” Niall says proudly.

“We went out for dinner, and just hit it off.” Harry says with a smile. He places his hands on the table, and you think your mom’s eyes are going to pop out of her head.  

“Are those real gold?” She asks pointing to the rings.

“Um, yeah. I’m not sure, like, how many karats they are though. My mum got them for me when I finished grad school two years ago.”

“Ohh, well, they’re lovely nonetheless.” She squints at his nails. “What beautiful colors to have your nails painted. Not many people can pull that off, but it suits you dear.” Harry sees where you get your kindness and understanding from.

“Um, thank you, very much.”

“Now the tattoos on the other hand…” Your mom begins to tease, “well, if you ever meet my mother, you’ll want to cover them up.”

“Is she conservative?” He asks.

“No, we just can’t really do tattoos, and she’s a little blunter about that fact. She’s blunt about a lot of things.” Your mom starts laughing, and you start laughing because you know exactly what she’s thinking of. Harry and Niall give each other a confused look.

“Sorry, it’s so stupid. This one time my Nannie.” You stop because you can’t stop laughing and neither can your mom. “My Nannie saw that my uncle added to the sleeve he has, that already pisses her off, and from the other room we hear go ‘You look like a fucking idiot!’, and my mom started laughing, and my Nannie heard so, she started laughing and she laughed so hard she.” Tears are streaming down your cheeks, and the guys have started laughing. “She peed her pants!”

The waitress awkwardly brings all the food to the table while you all wipe your eyes. You all dig in, and enjoy light conversation as you eat. You and Niall talk about your recent project at work, and your mom shows everyone pictures of your nephew. The waitress bring the check over, and Harry and your mom both grab for it.

“Oh, that’s very kind dear, but I got it.”

“I insist, please let me pay for lunch.” Harry gives your mom a warm smile.

“Harry, you really don’t need to.” You start to say, but he ignores you. Your mom slowly lets go of the check.

You feel bad, he pays for way too many things for you.

“Thank you.” Your mom says.

“Not a problem.” Harry takes out some cash from his wallet, and Niall throws a few bills in as well. “That should take care of it.”

The boys slide out, and Harry extends his hand to help you up. You all walk out of the restaurant. It was a good lunch, and you were happy your mom seemed to get along with Harry, but you couldn’t shake the odd feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“Well, it was so nice to meet you Harry.” Your mom gives him another hug, and turns to Niall to hug him. “And it’s always a delight sweetheart.”

“It was nice to meet you too. I’ll call you later, (y/n).” He leans in to give you a kiss on the cheek.

“Bye Mrs. (y/last name).” Niall waves, and the boys walk away.

“Oh, he is a keeper honey. I have never seen you with such an attractive man.”

“Mom, please.”

“Seriously, hold on to that one.” You roll your eyes at her, and make your way out to the parking lot.

Harry and Niall make their way into J. Crew. Harry grabs three pair of black jeans, and two pair of dark blue jeans. He grabs some t-shirts, and a couple of button ups. Niall mostly grabs some shirts and just one pair of pants. They each pay for their things, and head to Harry’s car.

“So, what did you think of (y/n)’s mum?” Niall asks him.

“She seemed really nice.” He shrugs. “Kind of an awkward way to meet her. Sort of a little soon to be meeting family, no?”

“Oh no, don’t start. You don’t get to ask that girl to be your girlfriend three weeks in, and then ask if it’s too soon to meet her mum.”

“You seemed to know her well.”

“I’ve been to a few of their family functions, yeah.”

“So what, were you like her go to date for things?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you went with her to Kate’s wedding.”

“I went with her to Kate’s wedding because it was right after she recovered from everything. She didn’t feel strong enough to go alone, otherwise she would have. Are you jealous?”

“No, I guess I’m just confused. You’ve known her for like what? Almost two years? How come you waited so long to introduce her to me?”

“You were still finishing up grad school, and honestly, you were still bein’a prick to girls.”

“Did you ever like her?”

“I thought she was cute, but the more we got to know each other, we both realized a friendship was what we both needed.”

“How did you not meet Sarah at Kate’s wedding?”

“We talked about that actually. We met briefly, but everyone was so preoccupied all night, so it’s not like we had time to really chat. You and (y/n) both came to my holiday party last year, you know?”

“Yeah, but we weren’t introduced.”

“Why are you gettin’ pissy all of a sudden?”

“I’m not gettin’ pissy.”

“Are you really mad that I know her mum well?”

“No.”

“Don’t do this.”

“Do what? What am I doing?”

“You’re actin’ like a fuckin’ baby. She’s yours, man, all yours. I’m her friend, her good friend that happened to be around during a shitty time. She didn’t know how to tell her mum about what happened, so she asked me to go with her the day she did for support. After that if there was a family party, I was also invited.”

“Wasn’t her family curious as to why you two weren’t dating though?”

“They asked us a couple times, but we just kept telling them it wasn’t like that.”

“You never thought of it?”

“Maybe once or twice, but after what happened, happened I stopped seeing her that way. I saw her as this woman who I wanted to be there for, almost like a sister.”

“I cried like a baby when she told me. Do you know if she ever pressed charges?”

“She didn’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve talked with her about it until I’ve been blue in the face, I think she just wanted to forget about it.”

“But he could easily do that to someone else.”

“Harry…”

“And then the next night when we hung out, we did stuff, man, good stuff, but I was so confused.”

“She’s in control of the situation with you. She feels safe, she doesn’t think you’re gonna do anything to hurt her. I’m really happy that she’s getting back to her old self. For a while there, I thought I had lost her. But slowly she’s been coming back to life, and you, well, every day she comes into work after one of your dates, she floats through the halls. Nothing could kill her good mood. Don’t doubt yourself. Besides, she’s good for you too.”

“What does that mean?”

“You’re better when you have a lady in your life. You make more time for fun. You fall into your work too much, it’s not healthy, mate.”

“You know that night you came to pick her up from my place?”

“Yeah.”

“She mentioned how she didn’t have a toothbrush, and I literally went out the next day and got her a toothbrush. So the next time she came over, she’d feel more comfortable to stay over. I have this weird need to like keep her safe or something. Ugh, and she’s so cute and shy in the morning. Like it takes her an hour to come into herself.”

“You’ve really got it bad, huh?”

“You have no idea.”

Harry didn’t call you Sunday like he said he would, but you figured he was just busy. You went to bed early, and actually couldn’t wait to get to work Monday morning. You settled in, with a coffee waiting for you on your desk. You told Niall your mom would be Facetiming during lunch so you could see your nephew, if he wanted to join. The baby was in good spirits, and the call went by way too quick. You hadn’t heard from Harry all day. He did say this was a busy time of year for him. You couldn’t help but think your lunch yesterday truly was awkward.

You and Niall walked out of the building together, and headed your separate ways home. You contemplated driving straight to his apartment, but you didn’t want to push it. You went to the gym, and had a good session. When you got to your apartment, you decided to draw a relaxing bath for yourself. You had done some HIIT, and knew you’d be sore tomorrow. When you looked at your empty tub you sighed. You didn’t want to take this bath alone. You grab your phone and call Harry.

“Hi, love.”

“Hey.”

“What’s up?”

“Um, well, are you busy?”

“Right now?”

“Yeah.”

“Um, I’m still at work, why?”

“Well, I was thinking of taking a bubble bath.” You say lowly, slightly embarrassed.

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, and well, my tub…”

“Are you asking me to come over and take a bath with you?”

“Maybe.”

“I can be there in about twenty minutes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I should have wrapped up here a while ago anyways.” He sighs.

“Okay, I’ll see you soon.” You hang up and smile.

You get the bath ready, and put the bubbles in. You wrap yourself in your robe, and wait for Harry to show up. In thirty minutes, in true Harry fashion, you heard the buzzer go off, and you let him in. He walks in with his beanie on, dark circles under his eyes. He’s wearing a tattered blue t-shirt and black jeans. He looks at you in your robe, and nearly melts. He takes you in for a hug, and hold you tight.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call last night. By the time I got back from the mall, I realized how much work I really needed to do on my freelance shit. And then I got wrapped up in some other shit today. I have some sort of annoying news.”

“What’s that?” You ask, leading him down the hall to your bedroom.

“They’re making me travel this week.” You stop short, and look up at him. “Someone else was supposed to go, but they got strep throat, so they’re not allowed to go. I have to catch a flight tomorrow afternoon.”

“Where are they sending you?”

“New Mexico.”

“That’s exciting! How long will you be gone for?”

“Until Sunday.”

“That’s not so bad. I’m glad you came to see me tonight.”

“Me too. Now, let’s not let this warm water go to waste.”

He takes his beanie off, and shakes his hair out. He takes his shirt off, and you can’t help but stare at his perfect torso. As he goes to unzip his pants, he makes eye contact with you.

“Staring?”

“N, no.” You say as he chuckles.

You untie the front of your robe, and slip it off. He watches you climb in, and you lean your back against one end. Harry slips his boxers off, and gets in, leaning against the oppose side. He furrows his eyebrows while looking at you.

“What?” You finally say.

“Why you so far away from me? C’mere.” He holds his arms out for you. You inch towards him, and turn around, so you can lean your back against him. “See, much more comfortable.”

“You just wanted to stretch those long legs out.” He squeezes his leg against yours, and wraps his arms around your stomach. “So, what did you think of yesterday?”

“Not how I pictured meeting your mum, but it was fine. Did she like me?”

“Like you? She raved about you the entire time. She thought you were cute and funny.”

“When you two were telling that story about your grandmum, I thought she was going to wet herself.” You immediately start laughing at the memory of your Nannie peeing her pants in front of you. It’s a throaty laugh, but you don’t care. You start to feel tears in your eyes.

“I’m so sorry, that is just one of the funniest things I have ever seen her do. And she has done a lot of funny things.”

“You’re close with her?”

“Very.”

“That’s nice.”

“She had my uncle and mom at a really young age, so they’re all close too. It’s nice to see. My mom was like old when she had me.”

“How old is old?”

“Thirty-five. She was twenty-six when she had my oldest sister.” There’s a pause between the two of you as he takes in this information.

“What made you want to take a bath tonight?”

“I did sort of an intense workout and I wanted my muscles to relax.”

Harry starts rubbing your shoulders, and you lean into him further. Your head leans forward as he works your neck. His large hands feel like heaven as they knead into you. His hands move lower down your back. He kneads just above your bum.

“Oh, Harry.” You lean your head back against his shoulder. His hands travel around to your stomach and move up to your breasts. You hiss at his touch as he twists your piercings slightly.

“Are you sure you got these just for fun?” He says into your ear.

“What, what do you mean?” You’re breathing heavy.

“You really like when I pinch you, and twist.”

“Y,yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Harry.” You lean as far back into him as you can, and you feel him harden against you.

He’s going to be gone for the rest of the week. You want to make him feel good. You turn around to face him, breaking contact for only a moment, his hands go right back to your chest. Your hands reach below the water, and slide up his thighs, sending a shiver up his spine.

“Harry, can I touch you?” You say looking up at him through your eye lashes.

“Please.”

You scoot closer, putting your legs over his. He leans in to kiss you. You taste mint as his tongue goes into your mouth. Your fingers trail up to his tip, and your thumb runs over his slit. He takes a deep breath, and presses his lips to the crook of your neck, biting down slightly. Your hand starts to pump him slowly, as his breathing becomes more rapid, so does your hand. You love the way you need to basically pump him with both hands because his length is so big. You had been with taller men before, they usually had a bigger dick, but none had one like Harry’s. He had girth, and you couldn’t help but imagine would it would feel like to have him stretch you out as he pushed inside you. You shake the thought from your head, and focus on pumping him. You feel his slick precome all over your hands. His kisses on your neck become sloppy, and his hands move from your breasts to around your hips, pressing into you. For a moment, you think it might leave a bruise with the way he’s holding onto you. Normally this would make you stop, but you know he’s not intentionally trying to hurt you. You hear groans and curse words come from his mouth.

“I’m gonna come, (y/n).” He says releasing his teeth from your skin. “Can I come on your tits?”

You nod your head yes. He swiftly stands up in the tub, your hands cling to his thighs as he takes control of himself. Your eyes nearly pop out of your head as you watch his own hands work over himself. You tilt your head back, and push your breasts up to give him a target.

“Ah, fuck.” You hear him say as the warm liquid shoots to your chest, and drips down to your torso. He slowly sits back down in the water, planting a kiss to your forehead. You reach for your washcloth, but he snatches it from you. Harry dips it into the water, and wipes you off.

“Thank you.” You coo.

“No, thank you.” He smiles at you hazily.

You both stand up, and he grabs two towels. He wraps one around his waist, and wraps the other around you.

“Harry, will you stay tonight?” You ask as you climb over the edge of the tub.

“On a school night?” He asks with an eyebrow raised and a grin. “Isn’t that against the rules?”

“I won’t tell if you don’t.” You wink at him.

“I’d love to stay.” He wraps his arms around you, bringing you close to his chest.

You put on a large t-shirt and a pair of cotton panties, while he just puts his boxers back on. You make a couple of smoothies for dinner, and then climb into bed together. You’re snuggled to his chest, while you both scroll on your phones.

“(y/n), I have a favor to ask you.” You look up at him, he seems nervous.

“What’s up?”

“Well, I was wondering, if I left a key to my place with you, could you water my plants while I’m gone this week?” You think for a moment. Niall has a key to his place, why not just ask him? Because Harry wanted you at his place. He wanted to know that you were there while he was gone. He wanted you to take care of his things.

“Sure, I could do that.”

“Really? You don’t mind?”

“Not at all, babe.” You give him a quick peck on his cheek. You notice the time on the clock, and see it’s almost ten. “I need to try to go to sleep now so I’m not tired tomorrow morning.

“Alright.” He leans over and turns the side table lamp off. You both slide further under the covers. “Could I, um, be little spoon?”

“Of course!”

Harry turns over with a smile on his face as your legs become tangled, and you’re pressed against his back. You both soon drift off into sleep happy and comfortable.

[julie-thefatones]

Ghost of You || Luke x Reader || Part 4

A/N: Your best friends with Julie, since the stamp was removed from the boys they are able to be seen by lifers at choice and can touch lifers at choice, but are still ghosts. You and Luke grow closer and closer starting to go from friends to more than that and everyone starts to notice, it just takes a little longer for you two to figure it out.

Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3

Side Note: The song that Luke "writes" about Y/N is in fact Moving Along by 5 SOS look it up its a good one

Word Count: 3,088

WARNINGS: 16+ (Sexual References)

It had been weeks since yours and Lukes encounter, in fact you guys have barely talked.... Anytime you guys hung out it was always with the group and only the group and every time he would barely even look at you, you didnt really know what to think of it .... you missed him, yeah you knew that it was gonna be different than before but not this different... You were walking out of 4th period when Carrie came jogging down the hall to catch up with you "Hey Y/N! im gonna walk with you" She said in her normal high pitched Carrie voice, you gave her a shy but inviting smile and then hugged your books to your chest, you hadn't really felt like your self since this whole thing happened, Carrie could see the sadness in your demeanor "Are you okay Y/N? you have been down for like..... weeks" Carried asked with concern, you kind of sighed because thinking about it was hard enough let alone talking about, but you thought your friend deserved an explanation, you glanced in Carries direction "Not really" you said with sadness in your voice "Me and Luke had an... incident so to speak a few weeks ago and it kind of caused a rift in our friendship and now he won't even look at me or talk to me....." you sighed and looked down at the floor "I miss him" you said in a barely audible sad tone, Carrie came closer to you and put a gentle hand on your back showing she cared "Can I ask ... what happened between you and Luke.... you guys were so close, like it was rare to ever see you guys not together" Carrie asked in a soft tone trying not to be pushy, you contemplated on telling her or not *What do I got to loose* you thought to yourself then stopped walking, turning to face Carrie

"Okay.... you just cant tell anyone okay" you said getting close enough to Carrie so that only she could hear what you were saying, her eyes widened with intrigue "Yeah, I promise Y/N" she said urgently to insure you knew that she wouldn't tell a soul "Me and Luke......" you started saying, then stopping to look side to side, to make sure that no one was listening to what you were saying, then looking straight back into Carries eyes "Me and Luke, almost slept together... like it was going to happen but then ... Alex and Reggie Poofed in and then it was a huge mess and then Me and Luke agreed to just be friends and now we are here" You said in a slight urgent whisper, Carries mouth was wide open with shock with her eyes bugged out of her head "Carrie?" you said widening your eyes in concern to why she wasn't answering yet "Carrie!" you exclaimed in hopes she would snap out of it "YOU AND LUKE WHAT!" she yelled in which you immediately slammed your hand over her mouth "Can you not yell maam" you said with tight lips and wide eyes, Carrie shook her head yes under your mouth and relaxed, you released your hand from her mouth in which she started talking instantly "Im sorry! you and Luke what? why am I just now hearing this" Carrie exclaimed in a whispered tone, you sighed and continued walking down the hallway, in which she followed after you "Because I didnt want anyone to know .... I didnt want to make a big deal.... especially since Luke isn't even talking to me ..... I don't know... I just really really miss him" You said in a melancholy tone, Carrie looked at you as if she was gonna say something and then Alex poofed in right in front of you and Carrie, stopping you both in your tracks "Woah! Hey Alex" You said in a high pitched tone, you thought you would be used to them popping in like that by now but you weren't "Luke misses you too! hes driving me crazy" Alex exclaims motioning his hands from his head like he is going out of his mind, You just look at Alex not really knowing what to say, Carrie just looking back and forth from you to Alex waiting for one of you to speak again, Alex continues on with his rant "Y/N! hes so mopey, hes just sitting around all day writing in his stupid freaking song book with his sad Luke face! and anytime I try to ask him to do something or ask him what wrong he just looks at me with that face you know that Luke face that is just like brooding and HIS LUKE

FACE!" Alex says in frustration all while pacing back and forth in front of you guys, messing with his hair in frustration and annoyance, and then he abruptly stops in front of you with wild eyes, grabbing both your shoulders "Y/N! you gotta go make up with him or something! I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Alex exclaims, you had to admit this was slightly entertaining you couldn't help but chuckle, but then you sighed thinking about the *You gotta make up with him* part of what Alex said "Theres nothing to make up, we aren't fighting ..... we just ..... I guess aren't as close as we were" You said back to your sad voice , Alex rolls his eyes throwing his hands up in the air doing a slight twirl to face away from you and then a quick motion back to face you "BULL CRAP! YOU GUYS CANT GO FROM ALMOST BONING EACH OTHER TO NOT TALKING AT ALL THAT FAST!! YOU GUYS NEED TO TALK! NOW" Alex exclaims, now pushing you toward the door, Carrie just laughing and then following after to not miss anything "GET HIM OUT OF MY STUDIO, AND FIX HIM!" Alex continues pushing you out the door, him and Carrie just standing in the hallway looking out the door as you walk down the street in major confusion to what just happened, Alex sighs "I really hope I got through to her but wasn't like mean ya know" he says tilting his head to the side as he watched you walk away through the school doors, Carrie tilting her head in the same direction but snapping it up ward to look at Alex "No I think you did a great job! very well executed" She said with reassurance, Alex snaps his head up to look back at her "Thank you, ya know I just ..... I really want Luke out of the studio" He said bringing his hand to heart.

As you walked down the street you decided you weren't gonna go see Luke, it just felt too weird and you didnt want to impose, you just decided to go home... you just wanted to sleep! not talk to anyone or deal with anyone! just sleep! you thought to yourself....... your feet dragged you up the stairs into your room, you slammed the door and face planted on your bed when you noticed something in the corner of your eye... It was your guitar, Luke had kept it with him since he gifted it to you just to keep it safe, but there it was, with its own stand and everything, then you noticed a note sticking out of the strings, you quickly rolled out of your bed to stumble over and read it, you gently pulled the note out of the strings being careful not to damage the guitar in any way, the front of the note read To: Y/N you could tell it was Luke who left it there because of the awful, but cute hand writing, it smelled like him and you thought that was a weird thing to think but .... you missed that smell, you took a moment thinking about the last time you breathed in his scent.... flashing back to the night you guys almost..... you shook your head bringing your self back to focus and opening the letter

Dear Y/N,

Hey.... long time no talk eh? how are you? I don't know why im asking that this is a letter not a text message..... anyway! here's your guitar, figured it wouldn't be any good to ya if you didnt have it. It didnt have a strap or anything so I took the liberty of picking one out for you, I figured you would like this one it has checkers all over it, It will match your vans... and my vans too! thats pretty cool .... I almost bought one for my self I think still might, look at us matching guitar straps! Reggie is gonna be so jealous! Anyway, I hope your doing good ... Oh! and good luck on you French test! I know you were nervous about that, I know youre gonna rock it! you always do

-Luke

You closed the letter holding it to your chest and smiling, you lightly lifted the guitar strap with your finger to look at it, you chuckled noticing that you were actually wearing your checkered vans today. You removed your finger letting the strap fall gently back to place, you sighed curling your legs up to your chest. You remembered that the band had a show tonight... *Should I go?* you thought to your self... you initially thought you wouldn't go, but it would be nice to support your friends, and maybe you and Luke should talk *Okay Im gonna go!* you thought to your self confidently, but first you needed a nap.

It was 7:00pm, you arrived at the venue of the gig 30 minutes before their performance, the place was packed! you knew you should have gotten their earlier, but it was hard enough to get out of bed to get here... wasn't exactly easy for you.

You danced along with the bands that were on before Julie and the boys, you noticed Flynn and Carrie across the venue, they noticed you back waving their hands in the air in excitement for you to join them, You grow a big smile and excitedly run over to join them... you hug them in a greeting, and just then you heard the announcer say "Please put your hands together for Julie and The Phantoms" the crowd goes wild, Julie and the boys had become quite popular in your town, You, Carrie, and Flynn made it a point to be the loudest ones out of everyone though. Julie entered the stage, alone like she always did, she made her way over to the keyboard and sat down. She pressed one button on the keyboard in order for the boys to poof on stage, Luke immediately starts singing while simultaneously playing the guitar "Thinking bout you lots lately! Have you been eating breakfast alone like me! Thinking bout you lots lately Oh are you moving along!" You had never heard this song before, it must have been new, Luke played and sang effortlessly, you didnt really notice the lyrics until you noticed Carrie and Flynn looking at you with curious wide eyes, Luke sang with such passion in his voice, he always did but this time seemed different. When the bridge came Luke found you in the crowd his eyes getting big but then locking his eyes with yours as he sang, not breaking his stare, singing "Scared of moving on, but you're already gone So if you're moving on, won't you just tell me? Scared of moving on, but you're already gone So if you're moving on, won't you just tell me?" As soon as the bridge ended he broke your gaze, you shook your head in order to get your self to recover, you look over at Carrie and Flynn who were watching you for your reaction, you look back up at the stage, Luke and Reggie were doing their classic move of sharing the mic during the chorus, then Luke broke off, playing the melody on his guitar with such... what seemed like anger, or frustration. You started questioning if you should have even come tonight *Was this a mistake..... he looks mad* you thought to yourself, now biting your thumb due to your new anxiety toward the situation. When the song ended Luke shook his hair which was now damp with sweat, and then he stared at you, you couldn't tell what his emotions were at this moment.... *oh boy, how am I gonna make it through this night* you thought to your self.

The band had a great set, after the new song they played Finally Free, which was one of your favorites, then they did Bright. You were really proud of your best friend and how successful her and the boys were becoming. The whole event was over and the place was now pretty much empty, it was just you, Carrie, and Flynn waiting for Julie and the Boys to come out from the back. You were super nervous to see Luke, you didnt know what to say, was that song about you? you wondered to your self.... in the middle of your internal crisis you saw Julie coming from the back with Alex, Reggie following behind all smiling and then Luke shortly after them, he wasn't smiling though, he was just anxiously messing with the hair behind his head. Carrie and Flynn ran up to Julie to give her a hug to congratulate her on the show, you broke your gaze from Luke in order to do the same, you quickly ran over to give your best friend a hug "Congrats Jules! that was an amazing show!" you exclaimed and then motioned to the boys "All of you!" you said looking at all of them, and then setting your eyes on Luke just a little longer than everyone else, he just shyly smiled in response "Thanks Y/N!" Reggie Exclaimed "Did you like the first song? Luke wrote it about you!" Reggie continued with a big smile and a slight chuckle at the end, Lukes eyes widened with annoyance, Alex just turned slowly to face Reggie, his eye twitching in the process, Reggie just looked confused at both of them "What? was she not supposed to know" Reggie asked like he really didnt know, You just stood there shyly, not really knowing what to say, Carries eyes widened "Well!! Flynn! Julie! Alex! and Reggie! I think there is something over here you guys should see its really cool?" Carrie said breaking the awkward tension, or trying to at least, motioning everyone in to the other side of the venue in order to give you and Luke some privacy "Why whats over here?" Reggie asked confused, in which Alex pulled his arm with annoyance rolling his eyes "Just come on reg!" Alex said with a frustrated tone pulling him in the direction Carrie was leading everyone. Soon enough they all disappeared behind a curtain on the other side of the venue, You turned to look at Luke who had his hands in his front pockets, he looked up to make eye contact with you, a half smile appeared on his face as you guys shared a look, you couldn't help but smile a little too. Luke lifted one leg up and then hoped forward to get closer to you "Soooo....." He said as if he didnt know what to do next, You put your hands in your back pockets, then motioned your shoulders forward a little "Sooooo" You echoed back to him, he chuckled "Did you like the show?" He said motioning toward the stage, you nodded your head yes "Yeah!! you guys rocked it as usual" You said, you felt awkward because you had so many things you wanted to say but you didnt want to overwhelm him or feel like you were over stepping, He made a slight whistle shaking his head yes then looking down at his foot which was resting on its heel motioning side to side, "Was that song really about me?" You blurted out with out even thinking, or realizing what you were doing, Luke froze and then looked up with wide eyes, his lips still pursed from whistling and then he relaxed his position putting his foot down and removing his hands from his pockets "Okay, we're just gonna jump right into it..... yeah! it was" he said with a slightly frustrated tone, you bit your lip not really understanding "Wh- why?" you asked truly wondering why he wrote it, you guys both agreed to be friends and you guys never dated so what was there to move on from, he looked at you scrunching his eyebrows together "Why?" He said back confused to why you were confused, you don't know why but you were getting angry "Yeah!" You said throwing your hands in the air "Why Luke! Why everything! Why have you been avoiding me! why have you been so absent!!!" You exclaimed, starting to tear up "So what we almost slept together! BIG DEAL! THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO CUT ME OFF! THAT DOESNT ME YOU

HAVE TO

TURN AWAY FROM ME!" You didnt realize it but you were yelling, tears were streaming down your face, you wiped your tears with the sleeve of your jacket "I missed you so much..... so much Luke..... so yeah why?" you said softer with a crack in your voice, Luke bit his lip in frustration "You wanna know why?!" he exclaimed moving one step closer to you "Because you mean more to me than I could ever imagine someone meaning to me, youre the most amazing person I have ever met!" He exclaimed, now him growing tears in his eyes "AND WHEN YOU KEPT SAYING WE'RE JUST FRIENDS IT EFFING BROKE ME INSIDE BECAUSE IM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU THAT IT HURTS! OKAY! THAT THE FACT YOU DONT WANT ANYTHING MORE THAN JUST FRIEND SHIP KILLS ME INSIDE! SO YEAH I AVOIDED SEEING YOU BECAUSE EVERYTIME I SAW YOU THE PAIN WAS UNBEARABLE BECAUSE ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS GRAB YOU AND HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS AND CALL YOU MINE!" He yelled, grabbing his hair in frustration "There ya go! thats why!" he exclaimed finishing his statement, You stood there gathering the ends of your jacket sleeve in your fists, looking at Luke with red puffy eyes, and before you could respond Luke picked up his guitar, wiped his eyes and poofed out.

[daaziscoolbesties]

[REPOST] MY 2K WORD COMMENTARY/ANALYSIS OF RANBOO’S LORE STREAM

‼️‼️This post contains lore spoilers from Ranboo’s 4/23 stream, “The Enderwalk Saga. Chapter 1: The Lessons”. If you haven’t seen that stream don’t read ahead unless you want spoilers‼️‼️

disclaimer: this isnt really an analysis as much as a bunch of commentary and half-baked theories.

-on the way to the mansion he was sort of talking to himself saying stuff like "i'm good i'm good" which m a y be a normal thing but also maybe it's not and it flew over our heads cause he talks to chats and donos like that so often

-again, this one may just be a normal thing but when he was climbing up the stairs in the mansion looking for foolish, he repeats some of his words like down to the exact same tone of voice and everything. 12:42,  "this mansion is way too big actually. this mansion is way too big actually." (why the repeated actually? seems odd to me but again it might just be a normal thing that i haven't picked up on). (right after) "okay okay lemme find him lemme find him" again repeated words in the e x a c t same tone.

-does everyone know about ranboo's silk touch hands ability thing? or was that just a techno and ranboo main character moment. bc if it was, how would foolish know that ranboo could pick up the full cake after it'd been partially eaten. unless everyone on the sever knows about that in which case this means nothing. but if they d o n t know... how would foolish know? ranboo wrote about it in the do not read book so maybe if it's not a publicly known thing maybe foolish got his hands on the book and read it??

-14:53-ish, they're talking about the war room and how it was for tubbo or whatever and ranboo says, and i quote "he prepares for lore but he's never gonna do it." now funny thing is at first i couldn't tell if he said "war" like in reference to the war room or "lore". but after playing the clip over and over i can say with ALMOST 100% certainty that he said lore. there is a definite L sound at the beginning of the word. which either means a) this was a slip up (doubtful bc he said later that there were no mistakes), b) he broke the fourth wall because they were supposed to be rping at that point, or c) i'm completely wrong and he said "war" which leads down an entire other road of possibilities

-15:17 "are you a book reader?" "*checks inventory for do not read book* uh yeah i'd say i'm a book reader-" dunno how i didn't catch this the first time I HATE THAT DAMN BOOK

-15:18 there's blue in his hotbar. where did he get the blue.

-16:40 "it's like a metaphor- i have two minds: i have my normal self, my normal little shift-dancing self, and then the builder one. the builder one is demanding. it's a very demanding mind." ranboo then lets out a weird sigh after this. i feel like what foolish was talking about was an indirect(?) parallel to ranboo in and out of enderwalk, there's how he normally is, trying to do best for others, and then there's enderwalk, meeting up with bad guys and "demanding" things (its very late as i write this i really don't know what i'm talking about)

-17:11 "you have your panic closet" i'm sorry his what now 😀 no but seriously how the hell did i miss some of these

-18:04 "you're asking me if i remember?" very funny ranboo thank you for making jokes in these trying times

-18:25 WHY DID HE GET OUT THE AXE WHEN STARING AT THE BEE

-19:38 why did foolish hold the grass block- most of these observations probably mean nothing but- h u h - is that- i'm too tired for this

-19:54 "i never properly thanked you for the deal you made with me" so foolish got something out of this deal, we're not sure if ranboo did. "the green cardboard box" again do you mean dream's house- but seriously the only people i can think of on the server that are associated with green are dream and sam. and i have no idea what cardboard box could be referring to.  foolish got a lime colored shulker from drista

-20:30 "we're supposed to only talk about it at a certain location" hmm now where would that be? panic room maybe? cause like usually after doing a big thing in the enderwalk state ranboo wakes up in the panic room so maybe?  the deal was that they only talk about it in his house

-21:52 how does ranboo receive(?) the lessons? like are they whispered to him in his mind or is he seeing them as words in front of him like we see? hmm

-"Lesson 14: If you have the opportunity to gain a favor, take it." "gain a favor" don't you usually ask people for favors though? how does one "gain a favor"? anyways i'm pretty sure lesson 14 has to do with the deal foolish was talking about. (the deal explained because i now have info: at some point a bit ago foolish met up with ranboo and asked to make a deal, he'd gotten a shulker box from drista. the deal was that ranboo would have ownership of the box, it would be under his name but foolish rents/borrows it indefinitely. ranboo negotiated that if he took ownership of the box he would get a "war favor"  from foolish where if something happens that creates sides, ranboo can ask him a favor that could change his side. but why would foolish want ranboo to have ownership of the shulker you may ask? well i have an answer for you. a theory actually but still. basically since drista technically isn't supposed to give out shit on the server if someone where to have that stuff then they may get in trouble. foolish wants to be able to use the shulker but if it gets found he doesn't want to get in trouble, so he can blame it on ranboo seeing as it's under his name.)

-22:16-ish "i still have this from when you *can't understand whats said here*" well i guess that sort of explains why he had the grass block? idk man (info update: he had the grass block from when ranboo threw it at him telling him to calm down like what ghostbur does with blue)

-31:35 "i figured out how to cause it" how to cause the enderwalk state

-38:30 "ninety three lessons" I STILL DONT KNOW WHY HE KEPT SAYING NINETY THREE AND NOT NINETY FOUR AND ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY LMAO

-39:01 "it's all for the greater good" okay well when are you gonna start thinking about yourself and not everyone else for once huh. self care bitch.

-40:31 he started holding the axe when he was looking at sam- gonna say it i really don't like that axe ahahah- WAIT A DAMN MINUTE THE AXE IS NAMED "axe of ender" I DONT LIKE THAT I DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL

-41:53 is there something?? physically keeping him from telling sam??? or maybe it's sort of like his enderwalk state taking control to make him shut the fuck up??? so many questions and approximately zero answers

-43:18 ranboo raising his voice legitimately scares me 😀👍

-"Lesson 27: Do not reminisce on what you have lost for it will weigh you down." showed up when he was thinking about and REMINISCING about the community house 👀👀

-"Lesson 53: Never fully trust anyone." showed up literally after he said that he thinks he can trust the other people on the server enough to tell them about what he did

-"Lesson 67: Leave no evidence of what you have helped with." this is different from the others because there doesn't seem to be at least a semi-direct connection to it? unless maybe at the time ranboo was near something he may have "helped with"? not sure about this one

-"Lesson 94: DO NOT LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE" yeah yeah i get it i get it he's fucked up some shit in enderwalk i don't feel like analyzing this thanks

-OH OH NOTICE HOW HE SAYS "REMEMBERING" WHEN THE LESSONS SHOW UP. IMPLYING THAT THIS ISNT A NEW THING, ITS HAPPENED BEFORE AND NOW HES REMEMBERING IT. MAYBE HE WROTE DOWN THE LESSONS WHEN HE WAS IN ENDERWALK AND NOW THAT HES BEEN EXPERIMENTING ITS BEEN EASIER FOR HIM TO REMEMBER THOSE ENDERWALK MEMORIES

-okokok the experiments are that he's been e x p e r i m e n t i n g on how to purposefully induce the enderwalk state. and we know now that it wasn't from the pain of the water because on the stream afterwords he said that it's caused by the intense fear of something happening. and so the "side effects" of the experiments is that since he's in enderwalk more often(?) he starts remembering more things from it

-OH MY GOD WAIT "there is a reason sam, there's so many reasons, theres ninety three of them" (44:47) WHAT IF EVERY LESSON IS TIED TO A QUOTE UNQUOTE "reason" THAT RANBOO THINKS HES A BAD PERSON/NEEDS TO BE LOCKED UP BUT HE SAYS NINETY THREE INSTEAD OF NINETY FOUR BECAUSE THE NINETY FOURTH LESSON DOESNT HAVE A REASON YET/HE DOESNT REMEMBER IT HAVING A REASON

-dude honestly the whole sam part hurts so much this man is scarily good at acting

-46:46 "i cant put you in the prison you wouldn't be able to see michael anymore" bestie that's the point he doesn't want to accidentally hurt michael or tubbo in the enderwalk state—

-okay but there's no way that sam couldn't tell that ranboo was at least TRYING to confess to something- i feel like he definitely knows more than he's letting on because usually like when people do bad shit or admit to doing bad shit he's like in Prison Guard Mode™️ (he literally cut off ponk's arm because he stole some keycards or something) and whatever and idk what he knows but he definitely knows something and is trying to protect ranboo. or he's trying to manipulate him or smth either one works—

-50:38 "you are a good person" "i am?" you can hear my heart shatter. "yes you are" "i don't think so sam" "i do, even if you don't" "i really don't think so" and there it goes again

-51:25 hello badboyhalo i see you to the left of ranboo

-52:44 "but then my curiosity got the best of me" curiosity killed the cat, bitch

-52:54 "there's ninety three, ninety four, ninety- theres so many reasons!" SEE!! NOT ONLY ARE THERE THAT MANY LESSONS THERE ARE REASONS THAT CORRESPOND IM S O SMART—

-52:56 "i don't want to remember anymore!" *quietly brings forth my theory that when ranboo loses a canon life his memory gets wiped*

-53:13 "ive opened pandora's box" isn't the prison?? literally called pandora's VAULT??? so this m a y be a stretch but i'm thinking that maybe this could be taken in the literal sense that he "opened" the prison and let dream out (the sirens at the end of quackity's stream confirm that dream is indeed out)

-53:42 mans just straight up walked through a ghost i—

-55:37 so are we just gonna ignore the eleventh page of the book? "he's alive, but hopefully soon dream won't be"??? alright nevermind it's most likely bc when tommy came back he recruited ranboo in his plan to kill dream

-55:47 notice how he writes "what am i?" as opposed to "who am i?" no elaboration here idk what it could be

-56:08 just so it's clear for anyone who doesn't know- he's wearing armor at this point, and i'm like 90% sure that when he wears his armor water can't hurt him. and i saw someone say somewhere that like with splash potions when thrown it turns into a gas-like thing? so again, it didn't hurt him, he didn't get hurt. he said in the chill stream that he wasn't comfortable making it where his character had to hurt himself to do that. the thing that causes the enderwalk isn't pain, it's intense and sudden emotions like fear and stress. thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[scoups4lyfe]

Ahaha 😂 Im glad this liveblog only take you 16 hours lol. Also cant wait to see the last part of the hiromi trilogy, kinda excited to see it actually. Wanna see the full on angst lmao.

Also, technically Im someone that didn't care much about Hiromi as character but it really will be a shame if he just stop being Kamen Rider. Hope he can make a comeback or something.

On the other noteeee, Im guessing the Kagerou/Daiji second part gonna come soon (i hope? The actor did say we gonna see Kagerou more). My early guess is that Kagerou gonna join the siblings to fight Olteca (most likely).

Well anyway, I love your live blogs like always and my fav scene ever is definitely the 'mid-winter showcase' bc it all look cool af. Fun fact, (which I got from twitter) apparently that scene was planned last minute including all the cgi. Bc the director want to showcase all Revice form and its amazing that they could make it work in such a short time.

Ah sorry for taking too long. Have a nice day and thank you for your hard work ✨✨ (oh and also thank you for taking the suggestion about tagging the liveblog 💖💖💖)

haha you're cute <33.

Yeah I agree, I love me some good angst. Right now tho Daiji keeps being such a sus ass mfer that I can barely focus on anything else LOL!

For me ;;;; Hiromi was fun cause I'm mean and I liked to laugh at him getting dunked on (ohhh how the turN TABLES) . I Do think it would be a shame tho for Hiromi to not ever appear again,,, like damn yo. Just send him off to the countryside man. Give this dude a break.

(Of course;; that won't be as emotionally impactful to the MCs; so I guess we'll have to wait and see with what the writers decide to do, OOP)

YESSSS THE KAGER/DAIJI 2ND PART!!

Bro. I am SO fking ready. He has been SO suspicious,, I literally can't handle this. I just want to see him tip his lid. That teapot's been left on boil for FAR too long, yo.

Now for wHAT Kagerou decides to do??? I could not tell you, man. I really don't know, cause it could go either way. As of right now I feel like he'd still want to sabotage the family (well,,, mostly just Ikki tbh). So...? Idk though. Like as I said,,,,could go literally any way

Bet the writers are gonna go with the most fked up way tho

(those terrible people <333)

HAHAHA YES THE MID-WINTER SHOWCASE WAS FANTASTIC!!! Bro that BLEW my MIND!!! AND

YO, WHAT?!?!

That was planned LAST MINUTE????

These fking writers/producers YO.

And awhhh <333

Never worry about taking up too much of my time <33. You could write me 4,000 words and I'd still read all of them lovingly. Might even take a picture and hang it on my wall LOL!

And woah

KAREN-ANON???? IS THAT YOU??? !!!!

AIAIAIAIAIA!!! Haha <33. The individual ep tags were something that was a long time coming. Sorting through my own nonsense is just THEE worst lol; so if you hadn't suggested it I'd have gotten fed up with having to search for specific posts and would've done it eventually LOL

For the past liveblog episodes. I WILL, tag those. I'll make that my friday goal (because that's like,,, a whole-ass day kind-of endeavor :'DD)

I'll tell you guys when I've tagged them all.

[tobebugjewce]

THE WALTEN FILES: my jumbled notes on my blind run-in with this web series

first off this is gonna be long and unorganized, also this is my second time writing this as i had lost literally half of my progress and im This (imagine two fingers almost touching with a 0.0000000001mm distance between them) close to ripping all of the fucking hair out of my goddamn head. but now this will be extra long and yes, i will lose some accuracy to my first writing but thats okay ill probably edit this a kajillion times over

which brings me to my next tangent; im literally braindumping here. so to have a smidge of organization all afterthoughts, edits and corrections will be boldened, i forgot what im gonna do with italicized text but ill probably bolden it here yeah im pretty sure its for side tangents, separate from Corrections, which are in bold. also theyre for emphasis too.

so in general, this post right here is all of my notes i wrote down on my grid-patterned sticky notes (which i used WAYYYY too much of) about the first 3 uploaded walten files youtube videos transferred onto my handy dandy digital notebook, this b(l)og. yeppers peppers. you know im serious about this shit when i typed probably over like a thousand fucking words including boldened shit, italicized shit and motherfucking links, lost it ALL, and im sitting here re-typing it again.

i feel bad about this but im not gonna trigger warn right here, but this is technically a warning. if you want a list of triggers as to what this post (and the walten files in general) i will link a little list to that here

without further a doo doo, (mama mia) here the fucking fuck we go again.

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #1

clarifying this now, im gonna put some useless shit which i thought was code onto this because even though it was useless it was part of my notes and im physically going to combust if i dont put down every single thing i wrote on my papers. so what i thought was code was in the closed captions, i started writing it down when i got to the second video but came back to my first videos notes to include them. i wrote down the first letter to every word that was capitalized in the closed captions, which i had on as a default because number one i knew going into this id need them because most web horror things like args and cryptic shit like that has some of the most crucial shits in the closed captions. number two i am autistic and have auditory processing issues and have most closed captioning on as a default if theyre available.

firstly jotted, i wrote down the closed captions “code” so im gonna put the rest here too: HYWITB(BSI)Y A(BSI)BJWFKWITW ILHHFSBBSBTLBWI USOISTBNBSFIRBCAWHSHCBWHTAIGRNB*C*BTWLTSFA(20)MCFP ILITIIACPH(1978, 1979)SA(4)YTSCH*C*OGSSU SFTGRPATDBBUTFBNLLCHMIHLBRALLCLAYTUKB*LC*WHATWASTHATTHING 

the numbers in parenthesis are there because i wasnt sure they should be included in the “code” or not. i also thought of this with the BSI - bunny smiles incorporated and also the years 1978 and 1979. the shits in asterisks are coughs and light coughs, which were capitalized in the closed captions so i included them too just in case

i then jotted, in parenthesis of course, the names of the animatronics when they were listed in the animation section of the video; bon aka the blue bunny, sha aka the sheep one, boozoo aka the clown<3 honk<33, and banny aka the purpled eyelashed up one who is also a bunny btw. also i got boozoo the clown and boozoo the mustache guy confused because apparently the clowns name is billy???? but they named “boozoo” in bons sleepover and showed the clown? idk maybe im an idiot and theyre the same or just an idiot and theyre different or a super mega (matt and ryan?!?!??) idiot in general which is probably the case

i started drawing little stars to write down things i thought would be super important or to 100% look at again. the first subject of this pointy torture was the part of the video where at 3:00, i marked it down to make sure to reverse the audio as it was most definitely a weird audio that has that signature warp-y effect that makes sure you KNOW its in reverse. i then listened back to it Very carefully (still got it wrong) and got this: “you finally start to remember. that old doll. they will look out for you soon” im also pretty sure i heard “sophie” at the end of that audio but im not entirely sure and dont remember and i dont wanna go back to check lmfao but anyways it didnt matter because i was wrong anyway. after i had finished all 3 walten files i watched the film theory video on the walten files (which didnt cover all 3 but was dece.) out of curiosity and to hear matpats signature silly little voice explain some stuff i already knew, and click some shit in my brain that i couldve thought up of if i was a bit more... i dont know honestly. anyways yeah so the actual audio is “you finally start to remember. that old day. they will look out for you soon.” so yeah. day, not doll.

i then wrote down “sarah evelyn”, the name on the bons sleepover animation (i dont remember if she created it or animated it or whatnot) and scribbled will she matter? under her name. turns out no, as i didnt see her name in the rest of the series, let alone the first video. this is also a great time to mention how matpat theory helped me realize that the walten files are collections of videos, uploaded onto youtube by anthony. (i already knew about anthony as he signed his name in the descriptions of the youtube videos, making me categorize this overall web series more into an arg type genre.) but yes, the tapes, recorded “irl” footage, animated clips, vhs tape recordings and other audio-visual content is all collected and labeled the walten files, as i had mistaken each video to be a tape. stupid me. alrighty, onward!

i starred this one, good for me; MISSING: Jack Walten LAST SEEN: 06/11/1974

i jotted down with an arrow that; sophie was a nightguard? she was wearing the uniform explained in tape 2 i dont know why but i went back into my video 1 notes after i had watched video 2. organization purposes. i guess.?? 

i then paused the video when the screen flickered a date, the beginning of video footage dated 10/10/1982 (Brian Stells?) god my little genius ass assuming the videographer was brian stells, based on the id card i saw earlier.

i then wrote down what text i saw on the dead, mangled, bloody body in the purple security suit; “i cant feel anything” “he thought i was her” then drew a little arrow pointing to; thought brian was sophie? or ashley? i also starred the name Brian Stells this is totally out of order LMFAOOOOOOOO also i wrote down ashley because, again, my little pea brain went back on my video 1 notes after watching video 2. but yep thats all i wrote for The Walten Files 1 - Company Introductory Tape

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #2 

Tape #1 - created 07/02/1978

awesome how thats first and foremost in the captions. god. so sexy of you martin walls. /j /nsx

this pack of notes is chunkier because again, like i have mentioned before i am an absolute goober and thought the capitalized letters of the words would actually mean something. I MEAN MAYBE THEY DO AND IM JUST DOING IT WRONG but i stopped doing it after this video because holy shit it was exhausting and my stupid little fingers couldnt take the writing anymore becasue i am WEAK. 

so write off the bat (squeak) i wrote down 197[] the blacked out rectangle over the last digit of that year and everything im also now assuming its probably 1978 or 1974 because lore reasons but whos to say but yeah i also wrote down this;

Tape #2 - created 08/13/1978

then, straight up in the beginning of the video i caught it, the flash of text, as i had by now realized i gotta be SUPER stupid focused on the screen in case i miss anything, i wanted to be crazy precise on my theorizing and mental notes, among other things. but yes i saw it, the first half of a youtube link;  “https://youtu” 

claps hands together and rubs them evilly. oh yeah baby. thats the hot lunch. this shit right here? the cats pajamas. lets fucking go.

i wrote down this goofy shit i pasued to inspect when i saw bon sorting through a file cabinet and naturally scribbled down the labels and other written things i could see on the files; 

relocate X/X/75 felix

storage K-9 07/23/1975 felix k(ranken)

Bons Burgers 06/28/1974 Jack Walten

Shipping Service 1975

New Location -> 1982

i also wrote down more goofy shit, like when banny was created for some reason; in 1974

starred, i noted to go back and reverse the audio at 5:09, when played back, i didnt write it down so i dont remember. lmao.

i also marked to screenshot and brighten the darkened image i saw at 5:20, i was going to do it on my phone then realized i can just do it on my computer so i quickly took a screenshot, brightened it and wrote down what i saw; a missing person poster that read MISSING: SUSAN WOODINGS(?) Last seen: 1974 i was very unsure of the spelling of her last name because the image was so goddamn low quality and grainy but its what i saw. this is where tape #3 gets thrown in, which im gonna type again because i like how the formatting looks;

Tape #3 - created 07/09/1978 (BEFORE tape 2?!//1/1??? its more likely than you think)

i wrote down more dates, any dates i saw, i jotted down. i wrote; 

Technical Support 1978 

then, 

Brian Stells (for some reason i dont remember right now)

alrighty this is where the stupid capitalized letters come in, but before it looks like i vomit a keysmash time infinity on this, ill put down the little inbetween things i wrote in the midst of the caps lockalypse like timestamps and stuff, so here you go;

- Reverse at 8:16 which i did but of course didnt write down what i heard. i think it was too warbled to hear anything clear out of it, or it was just the good ol auditory processing issues fucking me over yet again. WAIT yep yes i did here it is: “rosemary would go to the restaurant every night hoping that [her] beloved husband would reappear after being missing for weeks but no response until one day [s]he heard a voice [saying] ‘i know where he is rosie’ coming from the back stage” the bracketed stuff is the corrections, i misheard the audio and thought the audio said “his”, “he” and “singing” like a nimrod

- Brighten at 10:14 which was another missing person poster, but i dont think it had any information on it because i didnt write it down, just;

- Sophie again (pic at 9:08?) (dismemberd and put in Sha) i was stupid and wrong haha idiot it was rosemary who was put in sha but anywho

i starred and underlined a huge thing i discovered which was;

- Walten had 3 kids which i dont remember how i found out but it doesnt matter, its good important info i uncovered.

- Tape #4 - Unkown Date

- recorded 07/12-07/14 1978 

- Hilary B, Ashley P & Kevin W i made sure to get these names down as soon as i saw them on screen but then realized shortly after i wouldnt really need to have it as the closed captions made sure i knew which person was talking by using their first initial (capitalized of course) before each line of text. this is the perfect time to announce the arrival of the clusterfuck of capital letters, which is going to include colons which will indicate that the letter before it is the initial of the person talking. without further aedue, here comes another chinese earthquake;

TCWTSTATO(K-9)TBSSFWFCNEHAWBSUBIUC(BSIIDC)OWHISF INBIJTILNSPL(K-9)LCSCKCCCWTTLTLITTTYROTFAJAMHPYYSTCSPMBBWSBIB H:NTPPCCK:DA:HH:YCPRPMWTCBCRAWK:JH:SYYTCPBACPSTBAWCA:TK(?):FMTTCMK:TCPNOA:DTOFK:ITNPPRA:YBUTIRRFH:HKIBESRAIA:TCK:WA:WPCCFTRRIDPEH:GGK:GPA:LKK:WA:HNCGTKMK:YH:IGKA:ESK:MFH:RK:HILRLBNTRPPUWHITRRTPEIFEPH:YWBEBPK:MAHPBTRPTRPEL(LN)HTACPKLIKHPFITSKLTKLB(LB?)ISIBSUBIPRW AEBATHSPUAICTPURTWBBRPHTRTIIIILTCITCUCCP S(bpe, be)WA”IDCPBPSIB

holy shit its finally over okay now onto some MORE of what i wrote down in between and also after that keysmash attack;

12 doors? (backrooms) 27? 26? i was unsure because ashley was unsure too lmfao

found cassette (6/11/78) <- says “discard”? yeah it did

Tape in clown audio, speaking voice; jack, susan, charles(?), rosemary, sophie, last word sounds like “walrus” it was walten lmfao

Ashley died? yeah she did lmfao OR AT LEAST I THINK SO??

starred this one, Reverse @ 17:06, then got this;

“they left the next day, they thought ashley left early, but she was in the backdoors, screaming as much as she could, but no one heard the screams, the following days the caretakers would complain about an awful smell coming from the backdoors, company decided to shut down facility until new advice, the relocate project was unsuccessful. ashley is still there, but she is not screaming anymore, she saw something she wasnt supposed to see and now shes beautiful” the phrase “shes beautiful” was repeating like a bajillion times in that wall of text. then, god motherfuckng bless: 

at 17:23 i found the other half of the youtube link, “.be/k07QqEDOfQ” i pieced that bad boy together as instant as i think any form of ramen could never be, but remained ever patient. because i made sure to jot down this before moving onto my next segment;

@ end of vid 2, “shadow man sees* me when lights go off” im an idiot *it was actually “feeds” not “sees”, which AGAIN, i only found out after watching the stupid little film theory video *begins snarling and foaming at the mouth*

okay im not proud to admit im editing this to post it and realized ive lost my notes. well. 

might as well post what ive got! if i find my shit ill add onto this, i suppose.

[gallickingun]

reality-is-often-disappointing x denki || gallickingun matchups

@reality-is-often-disappointing : I, have shamelessly came here on note for a first tier matchup. MHA, my hobbies are a wild variety that includes mainly singing -as i have an ' amazing' alto voice- writing, drawing -in pencil mainly but also acrylics on canvas- I'm good at cooking -better thank baku if I do say so myself- reading fanfics obv, fangirling/gushing over hot guys with the girls yk? my dress code is ultimate modesty as i dont like showing skin, yet it's classy chic, very picky while shopping yes. my favorite colors are blank and vintage pink. aesthetic is more cutsie unicorn colors -my rooms main colors- but i actually only ever like wearing black. i do know how to swim but cant because *da-dun* i have dry eyes/also wear glasses. my favorite food is dark chocolate w/ those bits of cherries or oranges. as a first date i'm open to anything from a movie in or out, to walks on the beach or even just the arcade. i'm a she/her, and currently feeling like i'm going for a guy as a match triggers: only degradation or backtalking, it makes me anxious, a paranoid mess and i'll most definitely end up crying without even noticing. 165cm or 5'5 dark natural black hair (the 80s lion cut up to collarbone & a fringe) eye color, theyre black/brown when in sunlight. im white with a med and warmish olive undertones, natrually rosy cheeks -holy dark circles- full brows and what i've been called as "doll-like-eyes" or "cat-eyes" since theyre big and long naturally curled lashes. My birthday is on 31st of october, scorpio, INFP personality to cut short for you! I'm a child-free spirited but also am like-mature at maximum effort. I either sleep 3 or 16 hours there is no inbetween (once slept for 24 hrs but I'm not going to talk about how that freaked everyone out) I've been singing since I was three or since I've remembered. Secretly wanted to go on those x-factor shows but bleh, no. Fame is not really for me. Anywho, love you! Have fun with this and drink water! 🎵

Thank you so much for sending in the request for this! You’re such a gem, I really appreciate every time I get the pleasure of interacting with you, darling 🧡

― Denki would love the fact that you sing! He thinks you have a beautiful voice, and even if you’re across the house, if he hears you start to pick up a tune, he’ll join in! ― I think the two of you would pull all nighters together some nights, and other days sleep until you’ve passed the whole weekend by without doing much of anything. Denki can stay up until the sunrise, or he can sleep until noon, whatever you want to do! ― He loves your free spirit, it makes it easy to take you on adventures and experience the world with you. 

⁂ Denki will randomly offer to pick you up from work, and the two of you will drive a couple of hours to the countryside or the beach - windows down, music blaring, singing until your throats are numb - and you’ll spend a night or a weekend away from the world, just wrapped up in each other. 

⁂ He’s a horrible cook, absolutely terrible. Kaminari loves that you cook dinner most nights, because not only does he get to eat your delicious food, he also gets to praise the heck out of you for preparing a wonderful meal. He really adores it when you make too much and he gets to take the leftovers to work the next day. Of course he brags about you to all of the other heroes, and he really loves the note you leave on top of the tupperware. 

⁂ Even if the two of you aren’t actively together, you’ll still stay up late. Sometimes you watch Kaminari while he plays video games, laying on the couch with your legs over his lap while he mashes the controller buttons and speaks to whoever is on the other side of the headset. In between each match or round, he’ll slip the headphones off his ears and run his palm along your calf, massaging your leg, “Whatcha doin’, babe?” And he’ll listen to you drone on about whatever YouTube video you were watching, whatever thing you’re reading, or whatever social media event has gotten your attention. 

⁂ He learns how to harmonize in order to compliment your voice better. He shows it off one night when you’re singing along while cooking dinner - Denki sidles up behind you, arms around your waist, and starts to harmonize in your ear along with the song you’ve been captivated by for the last few weeks. You feel warm at the sound of his voice, and even more so due to the effort he’s put in to prove to you that your interests are his interests. And boy, is he interested in you. 

⁂ Kaminari will be down to try all kinds of fruit chocolates with you - you guys even play a roulette style game where you have to guess what kind of fruit is hidden within the chocolate. You win, mostly, because Denki just wants to stuff his face with sugar so fast that he doesn’t recognize the fruit chunks. But he still plays and is in awe of you getting every single one right because you never fail to amaze him. 

Denki slips in through the doorway, sliding off his shoes in favor of his house slippers as quietly as possible. He notices that the television is still flickering on and off, images bouncing off the glass of the window panes scattered throughout the living room walls. A chuckle parts his lips when he sees you curled up in one of his old hero merch designs - a hoodie that is too large for you, so big that it would seem it has swallowed you whole. Your legs are curled into your chest and your head rests on the arm of the couch, gentle snores making your nostrils shudder.

He tries to pick you up, slipping his arms carefully beneath your frame. But somehow you stir, your eyes peeling open lazily as you smack your lips, slowly sinking away from the realm of slumber. A gentle smile tugs on your lips and you frame his face with your hands, “Another late night?”

“Duty calls,” his voice does not sound as excited as it once did to get those midnight rings from the agency. Now, he just aches to be at home with you at the decent hours of the night, where he can hold you and fall asleep with you and remember why he fell in love with you all over again, every time he gets the faintest of whiffs of your perfume or your shampoo. 

“Dinner is in the oven,” you are murmuring, your head lolling against his chest as he settles you into his hold, “I waited for you to start the next season.”

Kaminari is laughing, but the sound of it sobers you up and you grab him by the collar of his jacket with the one arm that is listening to you tell it how to move, the other pinned between your bodies, “H-Hey, don’t laugh at me! I waited for you to start it, now we’re gonna start it.”

Somehow you’re settled back into the couch, hands desperate for him as you search his torso for somewhere to find purchase. Kaminari leans down and kisses your forehead and then the tip of your nose, his lips hovering just above the bow of your mouth as he whispers, “Whatever you want, honey.”

Matchups Original Post | Ko-Fi | Patreon | Commissions | AO3 | Writing Tag

Please check HERE to see if I’ve done your matchup already. Remember, I will also post your matchup with the tag: “#emoji-matchup”, using your emoji in place of the word, so if you can remember your emoji, you can search my blog for that tag to see if I have completed it already!

[stronghours]

CUSTOMER SERVICE

E T S Y

Darling Fallon    Sep 3, 2013

Sensational (sin-sational!). i write on behalf of myself (S) and my lover (m). we have been ripped off by bulk-produced molded hoods before and i can only say HAND CUT LATEX ONLY never look back!! worth the money and will eventually pay for itself. neck fit like loving glove and adds dynamic intensifier to breathplay. Lovely proprietor replied prompt when “m” had questions re: breathability (she added extra breathing hole at no extra cost). class acts all around (and not just in our dungeon!) will return for more but “m” needs a break first if u get the drift lol1!! thanks to lady j!

Purchased item: DeMarco FetishWear – Latex Chrysalis Hood (translucent…

3 Helpful

  myMister   Aug 24, 2013

this one writes on behalf and with permission of MISTER. this one quaked with bliss when package arrived. truly awful to behold in the wise hands of MISTER. this one’s neck is small and delicate For His Pleasure and all item adjustments were made to order and did not affect shipping time. if this one could be so efficient For His Pleasure this one would be in heaven on earth. instead, this one is less than a hole. item truly enhanced <O sensation. without a doubt will be used over and over in this household for due punishments of this very worthless one. discrete pgk’ing. thanks to designer J for deepening this one’s service to MISTER.

(NOTE FROM MISTER – WILL PROPRIETER PLEASE PRIVATELY EMAIL TO DISCLOSE IF YOU ARE MALE/FEMALE/OTHER SO “myMister” (this one) WILL BE ABLE TO PROPERLY ADDRESS YOU IN ACCORDANCE WITH ITS FORMAL ROLE)

Purchased item: DeMarco FetishWear – Throttle Collar w/ attached Gas…

1 Helpful

  JulieJuice   August 3, 2013

LOL rip-off!!! cant believe all u ppl sucking this guys dick. says everywhere in product descript. (and you guys reviews!!) that custom sizing is no additl. cost but mine cost more!! only small alteration to titty holes cause of my cleave situation. bullshit. not buying from him again.

Response from J

Hi again Julie. If you check our many enlightening inbox conversations from 7/5-7/16 you will be reminded the additional cost was due to your request of more ring hinge insertions as the standard amount in pattern block “was not bling enough”. Cleavage was irrelevant. Sizing related alterations are always no added cost. Custom alterations requiring additional materials/effort and adjusted pricing will always be discussed and approved on client end before any exchange of payment.

Purchased item: DeMarco FetishWear – Hexagon Restrictor Harness…

HELPFUL?

  HannahCakes!    Jun 1, 2013

Hey Whats Up I’m Caleb (obviously don’t have an etsy) and using my lady’s account. She got the catsuit for my birthday and she looked so sexy like J-Lo or someone. Didn’t want her doin the latex stuff because I thought shed have to shave off all her pubes and personally i like that kind of thing a lot but no harm done. Anyway she was super sexy and the suit thing looked good and stayed together even when we started rockin. To other full bush guys out there if youre girl wants to wear the latex stuff SHE CAN KEEP HER BUSH she just has to use lube to oil up the bush that she has.

Purchased item: DeMarco FetishWear – Domina Catsuit w/ Pussycat Zipper (red…

7 Helpful

  HannahCakes!   3 months ago   Friend   Ignore

Caleb Review

Hi J,

Saw my boyfriend’s 6/1 review and I was like uh ohhh. I asked him to leave one because he went gaga over the catsuit, but I wasn’t expecting all the bush stuff. If you don’t want to be associated with that and want to delete, that’s ok on my end. A little embarrassing! – Hannah!

Reply from DeMarco FetishWear    3 months ago    Friend    Ignore

Hi Hannah. Please don’t worry about it, any positive review is welcome. His feedback has apparently hit a chord with some specific hesitations and concerns buyers have been experiencing but not confiding with me, so I plan on keeping it up for the time being. Enjoy your garment.

  JoeyoftheHerd    3 months ago   Friend   Ignore

Moo-cow snout muzzle thing – (idea i had)

Hi. Is this idea good

Reply from DeMarco FetishWear    3 months ago    Friend   Ignore

Hi Joey. Are you interested in a custom cow muzzle/mask, like the pup play masks on my page or are you just brainstorming for personal reasons?

Reply from JoeyoftheHerd    3 months ago    Friend    Ignore

idk it’s just an idea i had

Reply from DeMarco FetishWear    3 months ago    Friend    Ignore

It’s a cool idea

Reply from JoeyoftheHerd    3 months ago    Friend    Ignore

Thanks man i thought so 2

1234Brett10093456    3 months ago   Friend   Ignore

I REMEMBER YOU FROM RAWHIDE

JULES yes I know who you are and I know your name are you scared yet?? I remember when you used to hang with Roscoe out at Rawhide because Roscoe pretended to hire you because he secretly wanted to fuck and suck you till you cried and I saw all that. I have brown flippy hair, blue eyes and am tall/cut versatile but lean TOP. I know you faked being gay. You heard of bi-now-gay-later but have you heard of gay-then-straight-betrayer (you)? That is fucked up that you still sell stuff but pretend to be a gay guy because that makes your stuff sell better because the gay guys want to fuck you. I know you are faking because my muscle bud Tomas (latino) saw you making out with a ginger chick at the wet bar in Entrance last week. He said it was probably a joke but I know it wasn’t because he said he saw tongue. I wont let you be a breeder without a fight. I am willing to tell EVERYBODY YOURE SECRET. But I wont if you prove to me YOU CAN STILL BE GAY. Im attaching a pic of my cock so you know im not lying and can follow through. I will only believe YOU ARE GAY if we can see each other face/face (i can host only on fri- I have two roommates) and our cocks have to touch and you have to stay hard for at least five minutes while I suck and jack your cock and tongue your balls (shave or dont i will leave that up to you). condoms ok but if you want to be a breeder so bad maybe I will just breed your ass but if youre actually a gay guy you’ll like it and cum thick ropes as I fuck your dirty little slut hole and youll tell me youre a hole while I fuck it with the shiny precum head of my cut fucking cock (7inches erect). you will smell my hole and BECOME GAY again IT WILL HAPPEN  - Brett Costino

  TheSteelyDanMan   2 months ago   Friend   Ignore

Latex & Breastfeeding Concerns

Good morning, J I hope you are well. Returning customer, here. My kajira/wife and I are splinter Gor lifestylers (NOT KAOTIANS) [link] but are currently isolated due to our deviation from standard kajira beautification ideals and the arrival of our first child (girl - Gemma) two months ago. My wife’s submission has usually been expressed fashion-wise in various strict latex outfits, a few of which you have kindly provided us over the past couple of years. Naturally, the arrival of a mini-me results in some changes! My wife, insecure after birth, wants to return to strict full-coverage latex, but this desire is at odds with her physical situation of actively nursing Gemma and we both have worries. Does the constriction of latex effect or otherwise harm milk production, or could secondhand latex exposure harm our baby? I imagine you have catered to many lifestyle situations where this might be relevant so I thought I would ask. Thanks very much. LEO

Reply from DeMarco FetishWear    2 months ago    Friend    Ignore

Hi Leo. While I have catered to many lifestyles, I’m afraid I must exercise discretion in this situation, as it would be on par with giving medical advice. I will say any allergy is a possibility and one should exercise undue care with a very young infant, not just in matters of latex. I highly encourage you and your wife to discuss this with her doctor as frankly as possible. In the long run it might be worth reevaluating aspects of your wife’s submission and temporarily making do with latex pieces that do not restrict the breasts, while nursing is a part of her daily reality (I’m sure I don’t have to tell you examples are available on my page). Best of luck and congratulations on the new addition to your family.

  NoraBarnacle    2 months ago   Friend   Ignore

A sincere offer…

Several months ago, I bought a pair of latex gauntlet gloves from your shop. Since then, astonishing changes have come over me. I used to be high-powered, highly controlled, a formidable woman (natural ash blond, green eyes, 45”-40”-44”) I was determined to keep these feelings to myself, but I can no longer resist, as I wholeheartedly believe your Dominating spirit, imbued in the gauntlets, is leading me forcefully but masterfully into your care. If it pleases you, know I have not touched my aching slit for one month total as I am uncertain whether you desire me to feel pleasure that is not approved by you. There are no images of you on your site, but I have drawn an accurate picture of you in my mind and I know you are the Man that I never knew I was waiting for, the Man who will lead me, the Man who will hold my neck and strike my forehead to his knee in his insistence that I allow myself to be led. When I wear the gauntlets, they are your own gallant hands restricting my weak bones. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I do not desire to resist. Please message back so I can properly present my acquiescence, body and soul, unto you. I squat disgracefully on my plump thighs, full of whorish tremor that makes me unworthy, but still I desire. I will service your home with my ardent hands and service your thick and striving cock with my wet tongue. Respond to this small soul. I submit to your gallant wisdom – A Secret Admirer

  RicoMetals   1 month ago   Friend   Ignore

Redhead Modle in Pic for Serve Her Serrated Corselette

Hey man-to-man who is she. I love redheads. Does she modle for other people/would she modle for my pieces? there’s no head in the pick – what’s her nose situation? we could all do collab and I think it would be hot. Let me kno - RICO

Reply from DeMarco FetishWear    1 month ago    Friend    Ignore

Hi Rico. I have not blocked you (yet) because said model wanted me to reply to you first and inform you, she’s already an established performer in her own right and does not want to model for a guy who “thinks I need some sissy seamstress to pimp me out to shitty welders online”. As I only have basic welding experience, I can offer no further comment or defense on your behalf.

  DerryBerry454   1 month ago   Friend   Ignore

Inquiry re: standard leather sleep-sack dimensions

Hello Miss J, quick question:

I will buy this item no hesitation no delay if you tell me right now about your vagina. Questions I prioritize:

1.     Color labia (outer)

2.     Color labia (inner – aroused)

3.     Clit length in centimeters or whatever measurement is most flattering to you

4.     Range of clit engorgement

5.     Depth of vaginal canal (I will allow ballpark figure as I know not everyone has graded speculums lying around)

6.     Percentage of clit orgasms v. vaginal orgasms – bonus points if you describe uterine orgasm, if that is your experience (no pressure to answer last part, as I understand it is not necessarily vagina-adjacent)

7.     Are you hairy? What color?

8.     When you wash your vagina do you douche or do you use fingers to rub through labia folds and that is it?

9.     Color of menstrual blood

10.  If you wear panties, do you find the crotch of your panties degrades due to PH of your vaginal discharge? (give me the qualities and I will calculate this for you)

While a picture of your vagina is welcome (and will only be for my private use) I really do like gathering these stats (I’m kind of a nerd) and would appreciate as much openness on your behalf as possible and you will benefit too because I’ll give you money for your lovely product. Talk to you soon! 😊

  B O A R D

[RUBBERVALLEY FIENDS THREAD 3/3 2006-PRESENT] TOPICS: 850 POSTS: 10,356

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): Hey people, we’ve reached the end of the summer and you know what that means – Ivan himself of the halls of Rubber Valley presents inaugural post of their annual sweeps week filming extravaganza – first photoset already up and we’ve got the goddamn brilliant LYDIA SUCKS sons! The greatest bitch on the face of the planet almost psyched us out but she’s here she’s low and she’s ready to blow. Vid upload will probably take till tomorrow to render but we’ve got some great pic galleries already. Ivan really spoiling us pigs lmfao. Seeing lots of setup and dress-up and behind scenes stuff for yall candid pervs. We’ve got full body latex and face coverage hoods and I see a breathing tube and the barn inversion setup. Possible inverted ceiling fuck? The boys can dream. Links to download pics results in PERMABAN – only official links to Rubber Valley site allowed, don’t know how often I have to say it. You want to pass ripped screenshots you do that through email *casts pearls before swine*

GOBgobGOB: no pic of lyds upside down yet ☹

LordJim: Not interested until I see Ivan haul out the FuckRacers from two years ago – wonder why he doesn’t bring those around more often? Great view stats on current vids and who doesn’t like a fat ass getting auto-fucked while she steers the go-cart supine?

SUCKPUNTER: lmfao all views are you bro

GOBgobGOB: D I R E C T H I T

SUCKPUNTER: hey lordjim where’d you learn the word supine

LordJim: Yeah “laugh out loud” very funny guys.

SUCKPUNTER: did you learn it at college

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): Lydia looks gr8 folks. Queen pristine and ready to cream. SUCKPUNTER – chill out because I’ve got my eye on you. Don’t take the bait Jim. You’re like thirty.

SUCKPUNTER: at least I don’t get off on bitches doing the pinewood derby

LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: LYDIA!

GOBgobGOB: LYDIA!!!

McLovin: LYDIA LYDIA LYDIA

TheWorldofMartinAmis: Goddess. Wish she’d get her boobs done though.

LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: same! I’ve been waiting for years for her to get into xtreme body mod. Right up her alley. If she’s at EXXXOTICA EXPO next year I’m going to try to get her meet and greet and ask. I know tattoo guys who’d pay HER to give her first tat.

McLovin: Lydia wouldn’t go. She’s like indie transgressive.

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): nice to see you again lockSTOCK. I see your POV but Lydia has several interviews where she says most of her viewers see her bod as a clean palate in the art of pain – as in, wounds have to go away in order for us to appreciate a fresh ruining ; ) tats and huge implants are a little tougher to work around. Anyway in my mind you can fix bad tits but you can’t fix bad attitude

ThatOneFootGuy: id suck her feet

McLovin: woah fuck 4th latex pic in dressing series with her mouth open and her eyes shut – who the lube guy with his arm right down her front?

SUCKPUNTER: lol hand clear to her pussy and hes not even hard faggot

McLovin: scope the ginger amazon in the background with camera – new girl? Don’t recognize. Didn’t know Ivan was bringing new people around this year’s sweeps.

LordJim: I wondered too when I saw. I’m sure DungeonMaster mod understands if I copy/paste following from Ivan (no pics, text w/actress info):

Newcomers are always welcome in RUBBER VALLEY (especially if they’re lovely, and especially if they’re ladies!) and this old goat is pleased to welcome DOMME LUX, our friendly neighbor down south in that little town called Chicago. Mysterious as she is alluring, you’ll see her shining light sampling tidbits of delight off our Valley Girls throughout the uploads this month (or even taking a crack at a couple!) We’re just getting to know her, but I have a feeling she’s a generous gal at heart as she kindly offered us the services of her Personal Valet, Jules DeMarco, who himself spoiled us all year with devious latex devices for our steadfast daring dollies after the unfortunate 2012 passing of our beloved torture designer Merrick Marvel (memoriam post 03/04/2012). Check out Jules’s Half-Bag Breast Mummifier in scheduled post 7/22 (Heather Bunny in the inverted Wench Wrench) the diabolical Arachnae-Hood (Lacey Jane, spinning in our trusty Landscape(her) Rolling Pin 7/16) and the Double-Fuck Full Body Boa Binder with eerie inflatable bubble hood (Lydia Sucks, finale post 7/31, don’t miss it, SUBSCRIBE). I must confess, we took advantage - the poor fella ran himself ragged helping us with film prep all week. So as an apology we let him get up close and personal with Rubber Valley’s reigning heroine LYDIA SUCKS fitting her in a custom four-limb black latex catsuit with half-face hood, made especially for her brave beautiful bod. He takes a good long time greasing her up before Ivan and Barry get her hoisted and joisted and in her best bitch-bat position among the rafters of the exalted Rubber Valley barn, where we leave her to squirm in terror! (but let’s get real – what scares Lydia? We’re wracking our brains!) Uh-oh, is Domme Lux looking jealous in the background? Is she plotting a little comeuppance for our Lovely Lady Lydia? Only one way to find out – SUBSCRIBE!

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): Np lordjim, if you hadn’t posted I was going to. Looks like we’ve got fresh meat in the valley.

TheWorldofMartinAmis: very pretty girl, but always bummed when a new one turns out to be top. Call me old fashioned, I come to the Valley for slaves.

SUCKPUNTER: firecrotch

GOBgobGOB: brb too busy crankin it. milky gingerbread titties come to daddy

McLovin: @TheWorldofMartinAmis, Ivan always has at least one femdom around. Room for everybody in the valley

LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: holy shit I know that guy.

SUCKPUNTER: lmfao faggots know faggots

LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: no for real. His real name is Jules Marinelli. I worked with him one summer lifeguarding beaches for the park’s district. Our boss found his website where he sells his sex stuff, and it was this whole big thing. Found the kink club Entrance through that (check it out if you’re in my hood ever – huge, clean, not too much gay shit, great ladies of all stripes hanging around, but limits on drinking if you’re trying to access certain levels). He’s bi. He’s either secretly Domme Lux’s slave or Domme Lux is his slave and it’s mega on the DL because it’d hurt her career if it got out she could ‘verse. There’s all this gossip.

SUCKPUNTER: bi guys r fags

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): SUCKPUNTER – that’s strike one. lockstock – not deleting your post because from what I can see JDM doesn’t/isn’t acting in explicit scenes, but let’s cool it with doxxing info. Looks like he’s had an experience with that before, and as a small business owner myself, I know how it can suck. We aren’t gossiping high school girls. Settle back and enjoy what Ivan gives us.

GOBgobGOB: *sees dudes in the chat and stops jacking off*

LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: NP mod, feel free to delete it later before it causes problems.

TheWorldofMartinAmis: going back to previous discussion – don’t think a breast job automatically constitutes body modification

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): think about it martinamis, it’s a slippery slope – you want to see some swollen battered fish get destroyed, or a fresh natural girl get destroyed?

SUCKPUNTER: i am not a faggot and a whore’s a whore and im here to see whores fucking destroyed

GOBgobGOB: *tony soprano voice* she was a HOOOOER

SUCKPUNTER: fag or cunt all whores get fucked

LordJim: Mod, step up. This isn’t going to get better. With all due respect

SUCKPUNTER: fag or cunt ALL WHORES GET FUCKED

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): yeah, already done. That should be the last of him. Don’t know why I expected that situation to turn out differently.

  FROM: lydias-verified@terrorproductions.com

TO: JulesDM86@gmail.com

Subject: Debrief – valley week

Jules,

As discussed, attached is current info for my old webmaster service from when I had to run my own fansite. Decent price and decent vendor system. Can only be an improvement on what you have now. That is not an insult, but I know it sounds like one. Stay with me.

[link] [link] [link]

And above, the top three most trafficked boards I’ve found following my own career and the rubber valley gang. We’ve caused quite a stir already and its only July 15th. I wouldn’t count on this causing an uptick in your business, but I think you know that. The standard gentleman at home spending twenty bucks a month for guaranteed links to a woman being fucked inside out while wearing a sensory deprivation hood simply doesn’t translate him to spending 100-200 dollars, contacting a seller, taking measurements, and going through the effort to order he and his special girly the hood itself. But I know you believe you’ve chosen your life the same way I believe I’ve chosen my life and won’t whine. I will say, if your ego is bruised, that your clothes are wonderful. They feel maybe half like death. I’ll wear them again and again.

On a funnier note: I have accounts myself on all the above message boards and post semi-regularly. It might amuse you to do the same thing, but you need to be careful regarding your identity. Feedback from viewers is never relevant, but it needs to be pure (don’t ask me why – my brains are fucked out). I won’t tell you who I am, and you won’t tell me who you are. Maybe we’ll find each other.

I wouldn’t tell your Cathy, since some sensitive (if inaccurate) information is flying around. Your instinct towards privacy, while cute and old fashioned, is an apt instinct. Looks like the good people of Chicago can’t keep their fucking mouths shut. Will you be able to find a straight job if your work now goes up like a dead dog’s gut? Don’t despair. Your nice long cock dropped so well down my throat while your Cathy beat my clit with the edge of your belt (nice touch – whose idea was that?) so while you might not get another chance to perch in a lifeguard’s throne, you might very well have a future in film. You’re vigorous, discrete, disciplined, clean, and a cutie-pie. Have your Cathy make some films of you alone or you two together. It’ll excite her, so you have no choice but to be excited yourself. You’re excited reading this. You believe you chose this.

Anyway – Cathy! Don’t be insulted on her behalf. I loved playing with you both. She’s kind and a lot of fun, which are virtues I still let myself appreciate in others. Let her know I appreciate how she let me use you. She’s a good girl and has a good future in store, especially with her personal valet running her life. Pick her outfits, pick her makeup, pick her clients, pick her laundry soap – is it already like that? I want to be buried alive, but you want to be buried in chores. Please dream big, Jules.

Rubber valley is where I have the most fun out of all the shoots I have in a year, but I really was lucky that you two showed up. Poor old Merrick Marvel (not even that old – colon cancer). But out with him and in with you. I enjoyed our river talk and I felt very safe in the car with you at the wheel, though I know I tormented you a little (but I’m pretty sure Cathy helped you out later with that – will you write back to me what she did to you, and if she let you come?) At one point you were with Ivan in the garage, and I tried to have a little talk with her about oblivion, but she either understood my point and got scared, or simply didn’t understand. It’s unfortunate, kind of soul-sucking, how our dominant “loved ones” transform into necessary evils. Adjust the tube. Grasp the handle. Move the thigh. Use the vocal cord to form the order. But what do they know? I never knew how to explain.

I’ve attached some personal pictures of me. I like knowing that you have them. I won’t contact you again except under strict business purposes, so let me sum up. Serve Cathy well. Don’t let her get bullied. Flourish creatively. Keep that belt. Fuck as often as your body commands you to fuck (if I suspect that sometimes your body is Cathy’s body by proxy, then this number will double, perhaps triple, but the choice is out of your hands because she owns your cock). You have a lot of growing up to do. Don’t despair. More to come.

We won’t see each other soon, but we’ll see each other again. Ciao! 

I expect improvements.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Lydia S

[sunlightnmoonshine]

Ep 15 (should have been titled bloodbath or the most intense ep I've ever watched)

I cant even seem to collect my thoughts to attempt to write anything on what this ep was. But I shall try because this ep deserves so much analysis.

I think it's almost clear just how much I love Eunseom and wait for scenes with him but this ep managed to hit me even though we probs had less than five minutes of him in it.

You want cold blooded murder? Yeah arthdal chronicles is the show for you. I've always known tagon is trash and nothing short of a whiny brat but even I couldn't predict that he'd react the way that he did (maybe because I hoped that he'd be respectable trash yknow guess that doesn't exist though)

I knew this ep was going to be a bloodbath but I really didn't see all that happened coming. From tagon slashing every single person at inception to that wahan trash beating people by the end of this ep. I did not expect all that they delivered. Jeez tagon I cant wait for eunseom to beat the shit out of you (something tells me though that this will not be his end). No one can ever try to justify what tagon did. It was cruel and uncalled for. I can understand although I do not condone him killing asa ron and the children of shahati or those of white mountain peak but the ministers?? What the hell. He really said screw ya'll I'm about to have a temper tantrum and went at it. Like I've been saying since ep 1, tagon is nothing but trash desperate for attention and he's going to get that one way or the other. Him whining about how he's tried to be good all these years lol I actually laughed out loud because it was the most ridiculous shit I'd ever heard. The guy is beyond delusional and I hope he meets an end truly befitting.

Im actually surprised that they managed to keep hidden the fact that he's an igutu. Does tagon really think the daekhan forces would keep supporting him if they knew? What a pathetic fool. He legit just used his igutu abilities to kill people and then went back to pretending like he's some hero shoving his igutu nature aside. I'd at least think he'd be able to salvage something about his worth by owning up to the fact that he's an igutu but nope, tagon really needs to start carrying a board that reads "I am trash" because that is all he is.

Regardless I enjoy watching his madness. Its amusing to say the least and tagon and taealha share a deep love. No show has portrayed one quite like there's and there's so much to praise of it. I'm glad we got to see taealha fight although the choreography of the fighting was quite good I do think shows need to understand that when jumped by a group they don't attack you one by one because this obviously makes it easier for the individual. Nevertheless they managed to cover it up but there's room for improvement.

All things said and done taealha is most certainly going to go down quite bitterly with tagon, one that she is most deserving of so when the time comes I'll bid the two of them good bye with a happy heart. I've hope that arthdal chronicles will deliver with their ends because THEY SURE AS HELL HANDLED MUGWANGS DEATH FANTASTICALLY.

I've been waiting for this moment since ep 1 and it has finally arrived. Better yet it was completely worth the wait. I'd certainly been wondering how tanyas prophecy for him was going to play out and I think we'd all kind of understood that it was a neanthal who would be killing him but what better person for the task than nunbyeol!? I can't even begin to explain how ecstatic I was during that scene. I was yelling "kill him kill him" quite a bit, the neighbours might think I'm crazy oh but who cares when his death was delivered so well.

I was sad that Harim and his wife had to die... They didn't deserve it at all and neither does chaeeun or nunbyeol deserve having to go through that. Taealha really knows no compassion to none but Tagon. Harim saved the one she loved and she really ordered him dead. And since mugwang stupidly followed such orders he got the end he most certainly deserved. I gotta tell ya hearing that hiss and nunbyeols "retreat? You are too late" has gotta be one of the greatest moments in this show. What's so perfect about panning it this way is that it really ties everything together. The flashback we get of mugwang and mubaek and yet mugwang choosing to ignore those words even though he had absolutely no idea what Harim knew, hell Harim hadn't done anything at all he'd just saved his leader and yet. And yet, he still chose foolishness.

What adds to perfection is that it's nunbyeol who kills him. The very person mubaek chose to spare. She had every right to kill mugwang no doubt but the question that stands now is what will mubaek do? His little pathetic brother just died at the hands of a neanthal he spared. What's even better is that nunbyeol is completely one of a kind being the only sword bearing neanthal. I guess she might end up going back to the neanthals. The last ep already depicted that she might after all. Now chaeeun and nunbyeol have further reason to want tagons demise. Really tagon gains all this hate solely by his own actions, his lack of pro activeness will be his demise. Mugwangs death was completely satisfactory. I'm still extremely excited about it.

On a side note, what's with yangcha? And his change involving Tanya. Its one thing to follow Tagons orders but he also instantly reacted to tanya being in danger. They also shared that psychic moment WHERE WE FINALLY HEAR HIS VOICE. All I got from that scene however was Tanya saying "my eunseom" my heart combusted at that. But it was good to finally see something of what tanya truly feels especially the flashback she had when looking at yangcha and the change in expression. You can tell she's behaving this way only to gain power. Had saya heard what she has to say though....

I was kind of put off by the fact that she just stood there while the wahan rat beat people up to though(I can't remember his name, I barely care about his existence). But I think the show is clearly depicting that Saya is evil. His kindness exists only as far as things are his way. He's a lot like Tagon but at least he's proud of who he is unlike Tagon the wimp. Seeing his smile though as wahan rat beat people up, things were going his way and it's sad that this is the way he wanted. Saya has always wanted a tyranny situation where the throne would one day be his. I'm stil hoping that he'll make some right choice, I still love him very much and I wish him happiness although he might not be quite deserving of it.

But the tyranny has begun. If only the people knew the wimp that sits on that throne. What's interesting is this tyranny has started with Tagon as a saram while Saya wanted Tagon the igutu. This has interesting implications because it allows one to know that it will never be Tagon who changes how people can view igutus and that's why this show is so wonderful. It's about identity and all that it means (but that's for a different post, probably at the end of the series)

I was disappointed that we got such little of eunseom and the writers are pathetic at handling his situation but I understand why it's being done. We'll finally learn something about Ipsaeng and the preview honours the idea that ep 16 will finally give us answers about the prophecy and I'm ecstatic. The pieces are coming together and maybe we'll get a better explanation on why saya is part of the prophecy when he seems to be a bad influence. It also makes sense why this show chose Mubaek as its narrator and ah I love the poetic nature of this show. Its not without its faults but its wonderful regardless.

Three more episodes to go, and I'm so not ready for this epic finale that's coming our way.

[shadowturtlesstuff]

again but better thoughts while reading

@polandbananas20

 so my spelling is terrible in this but you know i was more focused on the book than how to spell. 

Chapter 1) good intro and good starting tone. The lady next to her sucks. Good small establishment of shane.

chapter2)shane characterisation is still consistent. I like her two new roommates (will be best friends) . My guess is the boy in the kitchen will be pilot. Family means but not intentional. Has no confidence. I was right about the boy

Chapter 3) intro of pilot properly. He's good. I love the inner monologue of shane. Trying to keep eye contact, the surprise of having a normal conversation. It sets her character well. Intro to her blog which i would love to actually read (i hope there's at least one entry we can read) pilot is a musician but not. Business major. What crap. 

Chapter 4) i really feel like shane, she is just typical fangirl/ dork and i love it. Its weird being english and reading about the things that shock them like pasta in bags.i understand the watermelon.we do get to read ‘shanes writing’ but its her personal jornal not her blog.

Chapter 5) fun chapter. Intro to rome. Love the idea that shane is heavy handed and violent. Short, not alot happened other than small character establishment.

Chapter 6)intro to creative writing class which i want/need in my life.more beatles. Woman on plane works at starbucks, will she make more appearances? 

Chapter 7) the drama???or at least wht will be the drama. Pilot has a gf, called amy (wish it was me) (wait no, bc i know that plot doesnt actually like amy anymore bc he obviously likes shane. So i take it back. I want to be shane, i mean i basically am like her but oh well.)

Chapter 8) parents. Overprotective, think they know best. Urgh. guarantee one of shanes new friends fight back to her parents to support her life choices, that do not include doctor.

Chapter 9)gets an internship at travel mag company. Thats it…..

Chapter 10)rome. Looses purse. Pilot to the anxiety riddled rescue by telling his own life story about his wallet to help calm her nerves.distracts her. Basially he would do anything for shane already.re count of rome trip from her jornal again which is a good touch to further the plot. This is making me want to read dan brown (ish) all of two books i own of him

Chapter 11) the postcards are a nice touch that i hope someone reads???? Travel buddies..just saying.chad..hmmm,im like shane,well see if he is good enough for babe. Her GODDAM stupdi mean cousins being mean on her facebook, and babe seeing (best friend moment) about pilot and the whole teasing about having a boyfriend.

Chapter 12) he didnt see (but i think he did but istn sayin anything) paris i shappening. Babe is bff confirmed and i want her as my friend 

Chapter 13)angry birds addiction starts. Level three, weak, shoulder touching it romance confirmed.awwww pilot 100% waited to sleep so he could see shane safe in bed

Chapter 14) pilot with a french accent, enough  said. The flirtinggggg.  The plane woman  is back??in paris with them????

Chapter 15)pilots choices of the back in time thing are both wit shane. Its so obvious and i love it. Pilot as a fake fangirl about the eiffel tower. More flirting,kind of. Oh god chad no.he did it. Goddammit.nooo he wull run babe and shanes friendship and maybe her and pilot. ‘Assbucket’ indeed. Her an pilot are fine and i really believe her and babe will be because when she nearly gets robbed babe giver her a sympathetic smile. Not much to go on but i have hope.

Chapter 16)okay so, fav chapter, she finally spills her guts that she has anxiety basically, that she is premed with strict parents and this is scary whilst pilots lies in bed with her to relax her bc he heard her crying. He only ecoureges her slightly before going back to his bed and sleeping. My heart, i swear, soon the roles reverse and pilot will say why he is in london and all that.

Chapter 17)babe and shane bffs confired. Chad is the worst confirmed. Of course it wasnt  break up call. Of course she wants to vist. Of course pilot is to cowardly to break up and just accepts them going to paris together. Of freaking course.

Chapter 18) do not get over pilot, it wont work. Rugby guy nooooo!im team pilot how dare you kiss shane! Wow, city of glass mention. I want to make a list of every bookmentioned.

Chapter 19) pilot is not himself (obviouls) shane is worried. She is still lying to her parents an feeling bad about. Rugby guy is thankfully a no go. Pilot finds out about the kiss and guy and is clearly silently jealous. 

Chapter 20)aww shane! Im sorry pilot sucks currently. And a stupid guys trip with flat four. No. and devil chairs. 

Chapter 21)1)love the book talk.  The loneliness is kicking in, pilot man up for gods sake

Chapter 22)this red-head plain weirdo is back and going through her list like some sort of mentore. Omg!!! No. amy is here, i dont hatte her but can she not. Also, her dad…. No! (this is the stand up moment i was on about, i hope)

Chapter 23) i do not like her dad. At all. Nooo shane...no. they found out. And acted like assholes.

Chapter 24) n1!ahhhh no! Amy has her notebook. The end is nigh.im going to cry i feel like shane. 

Chapter 25) the family dinner-family outing. Niether of them manuped and shane is depressed

Chapter 26)back in america. Still hasn’t told pilot but you know it is a slow burn

Chapter 27) I, wait? Marry, some guy? Like no. I know it’s been what six years but no. I refuse.i don’t like this so called Melvin. It’s okay she doesn’t want to marry him. She goes to see pilot and finally mans up and tells him and asks if she made it and and pilot finally man’s up and tells her no she didn’t. They get stuck in an elevator

Chapter 28) the elevators doing something. Shane wants to re do London cuz she hates life

Chapter 1?) they are both back in London? Both having the same what ever is happening? 

  Chapter 2) omg. Plane lady took them back to staRt over and pilots mad about it (obv)

Chapter 3)so… they got mad but started over and I’m excited. 100%they won’t press the restart button. I’m calling it now. Cuz pilot knows he now has a chance to do the what if’s/

Chapter 4) they keep there distance but we all know it won’t last

Chapter 5) tipsy Shane? Shawarma

Chapter 6) babe thinksthere is something going on with them( again)

Chapter7)the story about fake pilot, and the kiss. Ahhhhhhg

Chapter 8)they found the button. Shane doesn’t want to go back. I do t want them to go back. They don’t go back thank god

Chapter 9) da Vinci code flirting somehow.. Shane tells him it won’t happen u less he breaks up with last Amy.

 Chapter 10) he will break up with Amy and laris is gonna happen. 

Chapter 11) so Shane is happy again, pilot broke up with amy. Shane tried to make peace with the devil chair.

Chapter 11) they are so adorable. Aswwwwewhwhehruysnwjw

 Chapter 12) Uwuwnfhueia we get more Shane and pilot flirting, 

Chapter 13) the opposite game is adorable. I like that they get to be themselves together without the awkwardness. The start of the move game. Thats my fav. 

Chapter 14) they still have the angry birds obssesion but unlike me and supercard they know when to stop.the dance ‘move’ ahh i love. The line ‘but you do.’ just shows how much they know each other and how pilot would do anything to make her smile. And the lost move (not really a move but totally a move.) once again proves their love. Also we had that plot moment where he talks about why h chose to go to london. I adore shanes rant (?) about the things she loves. And then pilot doing the same thing. Shane vs chair is my life, like i battle chairs too. 

Chapter 15) what is tfios? Ooohhh. Fault in our stars. (i googled it)i probably shouldve known by the whole always part. The dance move came back to bite pilot in the ass and now they are dancing together. Ew chad. Yes shane! That is what chad deserves. 

Chapter 16) they get intimate and gigly and happy and aaaawwwhww

Chapter 17) im glad shane still rememebers to be friends with babe and not forget her in her lovestick state currently.

Chapter 18) her postcard….the questions that haunt her so much. Sort of accepting them herself too. She finally got to do wrecking ball, they miss internship , oh no…. Start if a downall?? 

Chapter 19) shane and pilot have fallen HARD

Chapter 20) the article is off the table. Amy is there. What the hell. No. omg pilot no, you moron. THEY BROKE UP!!! Which is fair, a break is needed. They both get back on track and then try and find a balance. Hopefully. Oh her laptop….shit...the feels when all your work is just gone. Tries to reset bc she is so depressed bc she thinks she failed again. 

Chapter 21) she cant go back (thankfully) a bookstore is always a good haven to go to when your breaking down.

Chapter 22)the redemtion (?) time to try and fix everything and get back on track.the determination and the readiness to try and make everything better for herswelf, herself, and no one else is good. She makes friends with the people in her office and works harder than befire, try to get herself out of her comfort zone and experience things

Chapter 23) the confrontation with her parents. Oh god. I hope this goes well. Its going as well as it can go. Im happy shane is sticking up for her dream so she can be happy, uugh the whole dad speech of ‘i do everything for you, i know best because im older,’ i hate it. Ooohh she is making up with leo, talking ot him this time. Im happy. Leo is gay. Cool. i hate how he got broken up with becuase of his stupid family, it sucks. ‘There is no normal.’ perfect words. 

Chapter 24) her thing is in the thing!!!( also good job me with words.) her article got published (there we go)this is where she learns she can be with pilot and be successful because tracy is with a famous author and they make it work with harder schedules. Trys to talk to her parents. This time she will make there relationship work.

Chapter 25)urgh ‘you live under my roof,on my dime…’ blah blah blah. We hate controlling parents that dont see that overprotecting and controlling their childs life does more damage than good. Babe suggest self discovery trip. Babe is a grat friends. 

Chapter 26)the button thing will work…’im mad at pilot. Or am i mad at me.’ she cracked the code. She loathed herself because of her fear of failing, but because this time she worked on herself to make herself happy she no longer hates herself. Yet she still feels the same (ish) feeling that even though she worked harder and got further that she has no summer job when she gets back to the states, her parents still wont allow her choice of work.PILOTS BACK!!!!!!! She was about to press the button and he swooped in with his music.

Chapter 27) he still follows her blog and got help from babe. His speech, finished with lamppost. Where can i get a pilot?he uploaded their song. Working through the divorce thing again but it will be better because he has shane to talk to about it. Ahhh she got a job!!! Happy ending!!! My heart!!!eeeee…

epilogoue) she becomes a successful author. Her parents have accepted her and support her. Pilots a musician. He takes her to the weird plane lady and they gobe the locket back, then he makes the ultimate move. With pictures of where they fell in love he uses the beatles russain doll things to hide a ring and when she finds it she obviously says yes. And that its unfair cuz she cant top that move. 

sooo...thats it.

i really enjoyed this book. i cannot wait for her next book. this post is longwinded i apologize but oh well? again i will link my website and review as soon as its done. so far in about five hours all i have is a paragraph so it may not be as soon as i want it to be

[mrswhozeewhatsis]

2019 Louden Swain FanFic/FanArt Project (feat. The Station Breaks)

This project is finished!!!

See the completed book online HERE.

Rob was sweet, as always, and very sad to hear we won’t be doing any more of these. He said he’s enjoyed reading them, but he understands not being able to keep churning them out. Even though we can’t do more, I’m proud of us!!

Rules for the project, as well as links to the original posts for all of the stories and art, are under the cut!

If you’re new to this project, check out previous projects:

2016 - Masterpost - Finished book

2017 - Masterpost - Finished book

2018 - Masterpost - Finished book

Let’s show Rob and the band some love by letting their songs inspire us!

I’m looking for BOTH writers and artists for this! Every project so far, we’ve had art/aesthetics/edits for every story and I’d love to do the same this year. Whether you’re drawing or making aesthetics or doing something else, WE WANT YOU. All art and stories will be put together, printed, put in a snazzy binder, and presented to the band at #SPNDC in November! (Anything related to The Station Breaks will also be included in the project given to Jason Manns.)

Here’s the schedule:

6/22/19 5:00PM EDT - I will post the rules and regs and open the projects up so you guys can start claiming songs. Only one song request at a time (though you can list a backup song or two if your first request is already taken). Once you have finished and posted your first request, then you may make a second request. (Note: Due to a mistake on my part last year, the fic for She Waits has already been written, so this song is not available this year.)

9/2/19 Midnight EDT - Deadline for writers. This gives writers 10 weeks, plus the US Labor Day holiday.

9/29/19 Midnight EDT - Deadline for artists. This give artists 4 extra weeks after the writing is done.

This schedule then gives me about three weeks to put everything together and prep for the con.

Here are the rules (below the cut):

Deadlines are final. NO LATE ENTRIES! If you find you need more time, let me know and we can try to work something out. I’m not going to make a deadline to sign up, but if you sign up the week before the end, you will only have a week to complete your part. If you want to do two, you must finish your first before you will be allowed to reserve a second song.

Artists: - You will be expected to work with writers so the art reflects the story. Whether you pick a song you like and get together with the writer, or pick a writer you like and get together on a song, it doesn’t matter to me. - If you’d like me to pair you with a writer, let me know, and I will match you up with someone. Most times, I have more writers than artists. If you are willing to work for multiple writers, I would be most grateful!!! In the past, I’ve had a pool of artists, and I tried to divvy up assignments as fairly as possible so no one artist gets all the work. - SEND ME AN ASK or an IM or whatever and let me know what you want to do. Whether you’re working with a writer on one, or willing to be part of a pool that works on multiple, just let me know! - When you’re making your art, keep in mind that it will be pasted into a Word document, printed on letter-sized paper, and put into a sheet protector in a binder. You might want to print out what you make to see how it looks on the page.  - You can post your art in your own post and tag me and #2019 Louden Swain FanFic FanArt Project or submit it to me through my blog or send it to me via carrier pigeon (please don’t send it via carrier pigeon, I have cats) or drop me a line and I’ll give you an email address to send it to. - I would love some original cover art! If you have an idea for cover art, let me know, and we can talk!

Writers: - Can be any pairing or ship, reader-insert or OC, or even no pairing, whatever floats your boat. Please no RPF. - Please no smut. Anything else is up for grabs. Or maybe just a headcanon kind of thing. - Pick a song and SEND ME AN ASK with the song you have picked to sign up. I will update this post with the songs taken. Songs will be assigned on a first come, first serve basis. - You can’t write for the same song you wrote about last year. This is to ensure variety in the stories from year to year. In honor of their album, Splitting the Seams, if you would like to rework an old story, or write a new story based on a song you have previously written for, go for it! These stories will be in a separate section of the book, and the introduction to each one will reference your previous story.  - Tag me in your fic, plus use the tag #2019 Louden Swain FanFic FanArt Project. You can also submit your fic to me through my blog, or send me a message and we can discuss the pigeon and email options. (Really prefer no pigeons.) - You must use a Keep Reading feature if your fic is posted to Tumblr and over 500 words. - Your fic can either be a story based on the song or just have it somehow highlight the song. Since Rob will get to read these, I’d rather the fics be more relevant than just a song playing on the radio in the background, but do what you can. - Your fic can also be a part of another challenge, BUT make your fic relevant to the song you choose, please! (Basically, please do more for this challenge than having a Louden Swain song playing in the background.) - If I haven’t liked or reblogged your post within a couple days, let me know I missed it! - I will give your work a basic grammar/spelling proofreading before adding it to the project. If you would like, I can beta read your story for you before you post it, too. Just let me know!

Everyone: - If you would like to include a short summary of why you like the song you picked, especially if the song has some special meaning to you, I will add that to your submission in the final project. If you look at the last three (links are at the top of this post), you can see the kind of thing I’m talking about at the top of some of the stories. Please keep these brief, though.

And now, for something completely different: If you are interested in doing something completely different than a Supernatural-related story or art/edit, talk to me about it, and I’ll figure out a way to include it. Letters to the band or stories that are not SPN-related can be printed out and presented separately, and a list of links to posted audio or video submissions can be added.

As songs are claimed, this list will be updated!

Able-Legged Heroes

Make Believe Starin’ at the Middle Paper, Plastic Head Check Grandma’s Song Yeah, Well St. Louis  When I’m Gone - @winchestergirl-13 (fic)  (art) Three Car Garage  In Like Finn Undergrad Prom 

Overachiever

Cast Off  Neurosis  Codependent Only Lyin’ Overachiever Uncle Bob Blank Card No Hero  Boy In Need

Suit And Tie

Suit And Tie Operator Gina Knows Blind A Lot To Learn  Rock Song - @waywardnerd67 (fic and art) Rockit Real Life Long Way St. Louis Walk It Off Homesick 

A Brand New Hurt

Better All I Need  Pop Tart Heart Kind Of Guy Downtown Letdown Mrs. Vance Election Day Silverspoon Holiday Ready Steady Alright  Medicated  Something To Say - @winchestergirl-13​ (fic)  (art) Wasted Afternoon

Help You (single)

Help You 

Eskimo

Like the Heart Goes  Eskimo  Carpool Lane CA Nation Cigarette Mamma’s Jam  Worlds Collide - @writingfromkitchenator (fic and art) She Waits - @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid (fic)  @alaskanartist​ (art) January Gamma Ray Be Me Wave  Past Perfect 

Sky Alive

Reunion - @impala-dreamer​ (fic and art) Lucky Cool if I Come Over  Hot Times Big One Fifteen Hey Darlin  Bandaged Hand Crooked Wheel Trigger Finger Honey Bee - @atc74 (fic and art) Angela - 

No Time Like The Present

Present Time Change The Locks Amazing  Taxi Driver Over Before It Began Leg Up  Roll Me Over Fair  This Is How - @mrswhozeewhatsis (fic)  @impala-dreamer​ (art) Night Light Juliet  Numb 

Splitting The Seams

Another Fool - @impala-dreamer​ (fic and art)  Too Far Away 

The Station Breaks

Slightest Thing Gone The Rest Free - @andromytta (fic)  @winchestergirl-13​ (art) They Ain’t You  Just Walk Away Stowaway Not Giving My Heart Away - @mandilion76 (fic and art) Old Neighborhood  Autumn Back 

Cover art by @alaskanartist​ 

Tagging past participants and possibly interesting people:  @a-winchester-fairtytale @adriellej @alangel1895 @andromytta @anotherwinchesterfangirl @archangel-with-a-shotgun @archangelsanonymous @atc74 @brothersinsync @castiels-forbidden-angel @crashdevlin @curliesallovertheplace @deansleather @dont-hate-relate-pls @ellen-reincarnated1967 @enchantedstarfleet @take-my-crookedwheel @growningupgeek @hideyourdemoneyes @i-cant-believe-its-not-satan @i-dont-understand-that-url @icecream-and-gadreel @iwantthedean @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @jpadjackles-mishamark @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @lifeonsarz @littlegreenplasticsoldier @loudenswainfangirl @manawhaat @mandilion76 @multi-fan-dom-madness @mysupernaturalfics @narrettwist @notnaturalanahi @oriona75 @padamooseandgrasshopper @pastelspn @personal-boogeyman @purgatoan @robbenedictandco @roxy-davenport @samanddeanwinchester67 @sams-little-toy @samsexualdeancurious @saritaa-chan @scorpiongirl1 @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @smmywinchester45 @stunt-idjit-number-two @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @toastiel @tricia-16 @trollhunter94 @waywardnerd67 @wideawakeandwriting @winchestergirl-13 @writingfromkitchenator @ilostmyshoe-79 @wingedcatninja @desiraelovesdestiel @impala-dreamer

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Stay Ch. 16

Master List

Pairing: Natasha X Reader (Female)

Summary: You have a gift, the ability to see other people’s innermost secrets. For years you used it to gather intel for the highest bidder when you take on The Widow. After she becomes more than a mark the two of you spend years stealing moments. Post snap you wait in your designated meeting place, look back on the sordid past you share with the woman you love and hope against everything that she’s still alive.

Warnings: Angst, and fluff, and feels oh my!

A/N:  So yeah I swear I wroth an authors note for this... but idfk what happened. 

ANYWAY! Thank you all for being so patient while I got my life together. This one is also short and sweet (guess that’s the mood I’m in). However, y’all should know me by now. This is just the calm before the storm. 

Hope you enjoy this one my pumpkins! 

Tags are open!

@mywinterwolf  @disagreetoagree  @breezy1415  @peachthatdrinkslemonade  @5aftermidnight@jeromethepsycho  @marvel-randomness  @daniellajocelyn  @katecolleen  @yanginginthere@wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @lesbian-girls-wayhaught @siriuslycloudy2

March 2007

At some point in the last five months, you’d stopped recognizing yourself. The woman in the mirror wasn’t Y/N. Her hair was different, down to even the eyebrows. Her accent distinctly that of a life long Londoner. She worked for an independent UK couture fashion magazine, chose wine over whiskey, and was distinctly heterosexual.

When the chance to work this job requiring deep cover came up in December you jumped on it. You didn’t want to be you anymore. The you that couldn’t be with the woman you loved. The you that was heartbroken. The you who was beginning to doubt that you’d ever be happy. Fuck her.

Being Charlie Daniels was far better. She was, of course, a real person. Just one who was now living comfortably in the Bahamas courtesy of MI6. Even legit agencies had use of freelance talent every now and then.

Settling into her life had been easy. Not setting her boss on fire or blowing his brains out daily was a different task altogether. Turned out that a magazine was a great front for a crime empire. Lots of international travel, young and beautiful and desperate men and women, money exchanged in countless untraceable ways, on and on. And this fucker was happy to take advantage of every single disgusting avenue it opened up.

You almost had everything you needed to hand to MI6, get your obscenely large payout, and get on to another gig while they threw all of these bastards into cells to rot for the rest of their miserable lives. Just one more trip. After whatever horrible things they lay out in Tokyo you’ll be set.

Tokyo is one of those cities you can lose yourself in. Like New York but better for its interesting balance of vibrancy and grounded reserve. You absolutely love it.

The whole point of the trip, at least on the surface, was to focus on Fashion Week Tokyo. Honestly, there was a part of you that wished this was your world. Nothing but runway shows and after parties. Writing about the latest trends rather than delving into the inner workings of the worlds miscreants

Oh well. It was nice enough to pretend. You had to admit that you’d miss Charlie Daniels once you shed this skin in a couple of weeks.

You’re sitting two people down from your boss at an underground show. The level of security here screams that there are other things going on behind the scenes but it’s still a room filled with a who’s who of the Japanese and international fashion communities.

This was your third show of the day, and you knew there would be a party after where you’d have to schmooze all while plucking information from your unsuspecting fellow guests. You’re exhausted. So rather than pay much attention to the show you let your mind wander.

When she walks out you feel her rather than see her.  Slowly you turn your head to stare dumbstruck at the model walking onto the catwalk. Your heart begins beating against your ribs, your mouth goes dry, your hands shake.

It takes every ounce of control you have to keep your emotions in. To not scream “Natasha!” at the top of your lungs. To not grab her and run for the hills. Charlie Daniels and her easy life be damned. It’s hard but you manage.

As she turns and comes back down, passing now closer to you, her eyes don’t graze  the crowd at all. Head up, shoulders back, she walks the runway like she’d been doing it for years.

The rest of the show is maybe ten minutes but it feels like years. You know the models are all attending the party. Eye candy for the high end guests.

It’s fairly easy to ditch your coworkers in the crowd as you try to find the best vantage point in the room without being too obvious. After a solid twenty minutes, you find yourself planning an escape route. Most of the models are milling about but she’s no where to be seen. You will find her.

But you know you can’t skip out just yet. At the bar, you order a red wine and make yourself seen. Charlie would never miss the whole party after all. You spend a bit chatting with designers and a few models, feigning interest in the whole thing until you hear your boss call out to you.

“Oy, Charlie!” Carl’s voice alone makes you want to put him down. When you turn he’s waving you over to the bar. Sighing heavily you head over.

You’re about ten feet away when you see her, head back laughing at something Carl or his friend had said. Both men are far to close to her for your liking and the hungry look on Carl’s face sets your blood boiling.

He slings an arm around your shoulders and you carefully coach your face to not show disgust. “Charlie here is my best writer. Doin’ some pieces for us on this whole thing,” he waves his other hand around wildly.

“Good to meet ya, Charlie, I’m Dan,” the other man, clearly American says.

“Likewise,” Natasha doesn’t react to the accent at all.

“This here is-”

“Natalie,” Natasha cuts him off, extending a hand to you. Holding her eyes with yours you take it. It’s like touching a live wire.

“Natalie is an American model working here in Japan. May be a good topic for a piece.” He ribs you leaning closer, “And a good piece for the office eh?” Suddenly that MI6 money seems far less appealing.

“I’d love that,” Natasha beams. “Why don’t you guys go mingle and Charlie and I can chat!” The men exchange a glance, but there’s plenty of fresh meat around to sink their teeth into.

Carl flashes you a greasy smile and a wink as he walks away. Thinking clearly that you’re going to snare this woman for him. You, unfortunately, had a few others. Not something you were proud of. Demands of the job you told yourself.

“She’ll take a vodka neat,” you tell the bartender.

“Yes,” Natasha smiles at him, “Whiskey for her. Makers if you have it.” He thinks nothing of it and makes your drinks.

“So, how’s modeling in Japan?”

“Probably about as good as writing for a sleazy jackal.”

You laugh, “That bad? What’s the goal.”

“Getting a cover,” you commend the clever word play.

“That’s a good goal. Long term?”

“Something like that.” She takes a sip of her vodka, “How long are you here?”

“End of the week.” Your skin itches to touch her. The men are rounding back. You hold her gaze and shift your eyes back to them. She catches on.

“Perfect! It’s so hard to have a good interview here, don’t you think?”

“Absolutely. Why don’t you come by my hotel?” You whip out your spare key card. “I’d love to get your story for the mag, maybe do a full feature.”

“A feature would be excellent exposure!”

“Wouldn’t it?” Carl slides up next to her. “We can get you all the exposure you could want Ms. Natalie.”

“Charlie was telling me all about it.” She flashes him a coy smile. “Thank you so much Charlie! I forgot I have a late fitting tonight for another show so I’ve got to run. But we’ll chat soon yeah?”

“Absolutely! It was so good to meet you Natalie.”

“Same! Bye!” She hurries through the crowded room and disappears.

“Busy girl.” Carl quips. “Whiskey?” You look down at the glass by your hand.

“Some guy sent them over,” you gesture to Natasha’s lipstick stained glass. “Seemed rude to refuse. Can’t stand the stuff though.”

“That’s a mans drink,” Carl laughs at his own perceived joke and you force a smile.

Somehow you make it through the rest of the evening. You’d refused to allow yourself to hope that she’d be here, too obvious to come the same night, better to wait. Kicking off your shoes you head straight to the mini bar and crack open a whiskey, downing it in one gulp.

“You really need to be more careful,” Natasha’s voice comes from the bathroom. “I mean not even checking around. Sloppy.”

“Charlie Daniels doesn’t have to check for Russian assassins in her bathroom,” a smile pulls your face so tight it hurts.

“Well, Natalie Rushman isn’t a Russian spy. So…”

You let your real accent resurface as you pull her into your arms, “Natalie Rushman, I don’t know if that’s clever or lazy.” She kisses you hard, tongue sliding over your lips hands gripping your ass.

“Mmm,” she hums. “Kinda like the accent.”

“Oh?” You revert to the clipped posh Londoner sound. “Would you rather be with Charlie? I hate to break it to you, she’s strictly into dick so you may need to get a bit creative.”

Natasha’s head falls back with laughter, “I’m always into a challenge but,” she cups your face in her hands, “I’d much rather Y/N, she’s got a cute accent too.” Your kiss is soft this time, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, honey.” Gently you push a strand of hair out of her face. “Is this smart? Are you gonna get-”

“I’m good. I wouldn’t be here if I thought there was risk.” She pulls away and tugs you toward the bed. “There’s no surveillance on me here, I check in every week, that’s it. This is strictly to build a cover.”

“Cover for what?” She gives you a sideways glance. “Right. National security.”

“Do you really want to talk about work?”

Smirking at her you push her back on the bed. “Maybe later.”

You lean down to her but she stops you by planting a strappy heel in the center of your chest. Trailing your fingers down her leg you snag a knife from her thigh holster. Carefully you slide the blade under the straps, the incredibly sharp edge cuts through the thin suede like it’s nothing.

“Those were very expensive you know,” eyes sparkling with desire.

You slip the shoe off and toss it aside. “I’ll buy you a new pair.” Your lips press against her ankle.  

Everything in your life until her was so fleeting. Even your own name, the sound of your own voice, who you were… But with her, you were grounded. You weren’t anything but her’s, you were Y/N.

Suddenly you’re overwhelmed. Caressing her muscular calf you just stare at her eyes. Emerald green, dark liner, lids heavy with lust and exhaustion.

“Natasha…” Your voice cracks and you fight for composure.

“Y/N? What is it?” She shoots up, cradling your face in her hands.

You shake your head, unable to really find the words and unwilling to send this storm of emotions to her. “I just…” You cover her hands with your own. It’s not that you don’t want her, you do. But…

“Can we just… I just wanna hold you…” Her expression immediately softens, eyes sparkling a touch with tears. “Sorry… I… I just…”

“I’d love that, baby.” Tenderly her lips brush yours, then your cheeks, your forehead, your eyelids as they flutter closed.

You shed your clothes and crawl into the plush bed. Holding tight to one another you spend hours drifting in and out of sleep, covering the other with soft kisses. Before the sun rises your hands wander southward.

This time you don’t fuck one another senseless. It feels like you’re trying to memorize every curve, every sound, every subtle thing that marks being together. You both know you many not get to do this for some time. The knowledge aches but it doesn’t make having her any less sweet.

Post Snap

You lean your head back on the wall behind the booth. The crying man from last night is gone, you find yourself hoping that he’s resting peacefully somewhere… even though you know it’s pointless to hope for such things.

There are more people filling the bar than there was before. The TVs are off, radios turned up, reporters frantically trying to determine what happened. It was global, that was clear. All planes grounded, trains stopped, communications spotty due to damaged cell towers.

A man speaks frantically to someone who seems to be a friend that he was heading to Nuremberg from Budapest, how the roads are almost not navigable. He doesn’t know if his family is even still there but he has to find out.

Despite his distress, your lips curl a bit at the mention of Budapest.