#im waiting for you no pressure
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waiting for someone to come into my life so that i can worship them and literally define my life by them and them alone
#saltburn spoilers in the tags#ie i want to be obsessed#im a pet dog to a middle class family#get me a dog bed please a nice cushy one#saltburn#this might not be healthy#but i’ll be good i swear#don’t be shy i swear i won’t slurp slurp#hannibal#yeah i threw in hannibal come at me#felix catton#im waiting for you no pressure#hozier#i want what hozier has#i’ll literally be your dog please#i’m a stray you can’t say no to me#more like saltburn before the whole branch of the family tree got deleted#i’ll worship you without cutting off that branch i swear#this is about falling in love please don’t come at me#i should remove the saltburn tag#no i’m stubborn it’s done#digital footprint who
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a mob of emus for an artstyle game on twt! ^_^
#project sekai#emu otori#the usernames are all their public twts so if you use that evil platform check out their art ^_^#many of them are on here with the same users even.. be gone from my sight vile bird#the one on the bottom right is Mine but ive never had an artstyle in my life so it may not be obvious to the viewers. sorry.#pjsk#prsk#proseka#only my beautiful mutuals beautiful art can make me do LINEART#i was going to ask on here but realized i dont have mutuals bc this is a side blog. sniffle. hell on earth#I dont have much to scream in the tags. semester is almost over. Im sleepy. I designed emu a huge seord for an assignment#but the 3d model turned out Bad. it looks ok from the top but you turn it and see Problems.#its been a month or so since i modelled that and i have gotten better so i want to try again with no time crunch + pressure#its a fun looking sword. magical girl sword type shit#EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT THE LITTLE PRINCE WXS STUFF I END UP AWAKE UNTIL 3AM BECAUse it GETS TO ME#WAAAAAAAAAUHGH. I HAVE CLASS IN 11 HOURS#GOODNIGHT. IT WILL BE AS IF ALL THE STARS WERE LAUGHING.#oh my god wait i did this this weekend bc i was like yaay i have a weekend without any assignments due#I just forgot abt one. Bc my email hasnt been working properly and didnt send me the reminder for it. i will spend my tuesdah drawing a gun
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Bam bing bong, summary of my doodles in 2024
#what a year#ive never compiled it neatly before#i was gonna wait it out cuz i havent finish my Christmas pieces yet but im also like ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck it so yeah hehe#this year I’ve expanded my socials to bluesky and instagram#I’ve always did two collabs this year which is still wild to me (im planning to do more next year hopefully)#(if my social anxiety can just get over it)#in tappy’s voice: gomz no balls#i also need to do more color piece#launching ☕️ this year has helped to do that#to do at least one colored piece each month#i have a video of me going thru my doodles from January to December in the works but i think i might not able to finish it on time#we’ll see#still gotto tackle the last few ☕️ requests after con#this year I’ve drawn a lot more Price!! that’s why he’s the main character this year#i would put Raven but she’s always a main so#im really happy to have found a nice chibi style and stick with it#consistency is always a struggle for me esp with my non chibi style#some of what i drew this year was awful HDJSHSHS but its nice seeing progress#December suit Price is my proudest non-chibi work and I wish to continue that style next year#moving forward I want to continue to improve and do better but also take it easy#burnt myself out too many times this year due to drawing nearly every day + stress + uni#stress management plan is needed but i SUCK at it#me as a pharmacy student counselling patients [it is important to try to relax and manage stress properly]#what a joke JDJDHDHHD#at least my blood pressure readings stabilized finally on gawd it was on the borders for a few months#it’s been a fun year and I’ve made a lot of new friends too#drabbled in a few fandom and community here and there#thank you for having me everyone :)#gummmyart#art summary 2024
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I wanna participate in the dtiys when I get better -w- looks so pretty
W-
WDYM!?
Like i get it, and bro go for it but also uh. UH!?!? I LOVE YOUR DRAWINGS?? YOU DONT HAVE TO “GET BETTER?” IF YOU WANT TO PARTICIPATE??bb
HELLO??🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺im gonna…GET you. 🦅
edit: CRISIS AVERTED AHAHAHA THEY MEANT THEY WERE SICK IM AN IDIOT LMFAOOOOIIIIOOOO
#grrrrrrRRRRrr#no pressure to draw lili BUT#or#AND#i think all stages of art can be appreciated and i like how you draw and it’s cool and and and and and#triggered#can you tell#/lh#ART IS FOR FUN AND SHARING AND GROWTH AND#i mean YOU DONT HAVE TO OBVIOUSLY IM JUST SAYING#if that’s the only reason you won’t#NAWWWWW#oh shit wait you complimented me#THANK YOU#also#shhhhHhHhahshhHhH BSSS LILI#again i like your drawings so i’m offended hmph. huffing and puffing and coping#IGNORE ALL OF THIS IM STUPID AHAHAHA HELP ME#IM GONE#IM COOKED CHAT#was about to go on a tirade in your inbox about how i love your art lili#you have been spared i guess
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God the new ultimate guide sucks
It's not JUST the awful art, either. The art's just worth mentioning because even if the book's info had been terrible or contained nothing new, really cute art can make it still worth having.
But, no, it's even full of recycled lines we've been hearing for years like "Bramblestar Can Match Squirrelflight's Fire Not Contain It," and that's when it DOES get everything right. These entries leave out major, important details (making them bad summaries) and are sometimes even straight-up incorrect.
SUMMARY THOUGHTS
Leafpool is said to have watched Brambleclaw kill Hawkfrost to save Firestar-- but for one, no, she was not there because Ashfur was still leading her and Squilf towards the scene. For two, no, Brambleclaw did not kill Hawkfrost just to save Firestar, it was self-defense. Hawkfrost had him pinned and was going to kill him.
They're REAL cute about Leafpool's death, too, neglecting to mention WHY the Sisters needed to be saved at all and just saying Leafpool's "generosity" lead to her death in that cave-in.
I'm not even going to get into everything on Bramble's entry jesus christ.
Sagewhisker's entry is ESPECIALLY fucken' dandy, framing Yellowfang's Secret like she was simply waiting patiently for Yellow to realize her 'destiny' and not actively shoving it on her at every opportunity.
Leopardstar's entry states that romantic interest in Tigerstar was part of her motivation. "Perhaps she'd hoped he would be her mate" please speak to a woman irl for once in your life.
Gray Wing's entry forgot that the reason he "blamed himself" for Bright Stream's death is because he was literally staring at his big strong brother too much and tripped on a root in front of him. It IS his fault she died.
Clear Sky/Skystar's entry is just obscene. "He regretted abandoning his son and after a fire, he encouraged him to live with him" instead of "saw his teenage child was useful now and bullied and belittled the kid and his uncle into letting Thunder come with him." "Retaining his fierceness towards his cats and outsiders which caused his son to leave" instead of "murdering, brutalizing, and abusing everyone around him caused Thunder to leave." I'll just say this tho; "Fierce" is an interesting way to spell "Cruel."
It's interesting that they don't point out that a major part of Jagged Peak's arc was proving he was "Just As Good" as every other cat in spite of his disability, thanks to his introduced-and-pregnant-in-the-same-book wife becoming his life coach, only earning Clear Sky's respect after being allowed to physically lead a patrol in Blazing Star. Instead they frame him finding his place through taking care of kits, which... was something he seemed to resent in the actual series, considering how the books suddenly treat Gray Wing's protective treatment of him as a terrible thing in Blazing Star because he "didn't give him a chance". But at the same time I actually strongly dislike Jagged Peak and his messy, frustrating character arc so I'm not really UPSET with it. Just... noting it. I suppose this is the official direction they're taking away from it?
Shadowstar's entry is barely even 3 paragraphs yikes.
SHORT STORY THOUGHTS
And if you're wondering if the 4 brand new stories they smooshed into the end in a desperate attempt to make the rush job worth buying are good? No. Of course not. They're all slop.
Story 1: Firestar and Graystripe
First one's a marginally cute story about Graystripe and Firestar which is setting up the framing device linking the mini-tales together. They both remember this situation where Firestar fell into a ditch wrong. The punchline is that Thunderstar remembers it perfectly and they're both like, "WOW! Too bad Thunderstar's memory sucks!"
It's not terrible, but it does feel a bit pointless. But, hey, if you want more Firestar and Graystripe in the series that tosses them fanservice at every turn, who am I to judge?
Story 2: Dovewing and Ivypool
The next one is the Dovewing/Ivypool reconciliation passage everyone's talking about. It's... fine, but immensely dissatisfying to me.
Dovewing is apparently having problems adjusting to her Clan, grapples a little bit with the fact she has no friends but is going to be finding meaning in helping tigerHeartstar "bring the new ShadowClan into existence." She ultimately decides that she needs to talk to her sister, and begs for reassurance that Ivypool believes in her, feeling that her support can help her get through this difficult time in her life.
I think its biggest problem is that Dovewing was not the right choice for the POV here.
Dove was never the one responsible for the rift in their relationship. Ivypool is. Ivypool is the one who was jealous, willing to sabotage anything that would put Dovewing closer to Tigerheart, and continues to be generally aggressive towards her. So when Dovewing is reaching out to Ivypool in hopes of them reconciling, it feels wrong because Ivypool is the one that should be reaching out to Dovewing. SHE is the one who has some things to apologize for, and to show how much she loves and misses her.
It's even kind of frustrating, because Dovewing can never catch a break. She has to have these problems to force her to reach out, Ivypool even ends up suggesting that she leave and come home and take her kids with her, but in the end even a LITTLE bit of assurance from her aggressive sister helps.
I feel super bad for Dovewing, man. She deserves better than this cheap writing. What was the point of such an unsatisfying, rushed reconciliation, shoved into a crummy field guide, when we KNOW from the newest book that they're just going to use tension between them as part of the drama anyway?
shouldn't have even been written, imo. Even ends off with, "They'll always have each other :)" which is so... cliche. It's TIRED. Are any of you really happy with just getting a retconned platitude in a good-for-nothing field guide, instead of seeing complicated, INTERESTING feelings in a main book?
Story 3: Alderheart and Twigbranch
A tale of Cherryfall getting sick during TBC and Alderheart sneaks back into the territory to treat her. Also Crowfeather has a scene where he yells at him. Charming.
Twigbranch comes up with a diversion while Alderheart does his work, which is cute. It's a fine story.
Story 4: Clear Sky
Trash. Three dogs spawn in the middle of a gathering so that Skystar can have an uwu big boy sendoff saving his grandkit. Then he goes to StarClan and throws a fit because they can't give him ANOTHER life, becoming so upset that he attacks the nearest woman. Naturally, Shadowstar brushes it off because it's not the first time Clear Sky has pummeled her in the midst of an adult tantrum and this book series thinks violence is fine if their favorite sadboy does it.
Then Gray Wing brings him to the magic mirror pool where you can see the living, to confirm that Star Flower is ok and that makes him feel better.
Then it launches into Firestar saying "ouuuugh yum I LOVE the taste of his butthole. Clear Sky is so misunderstood, He Just Loved Too Much."
to which Graystripe responds, "Yes, he was a good and amazing person and his farts smells SO good, and can you believe that some people think StarClan punished his Clan for his arrogance? As if he ever did anything wrong, ever?"
Firestar, indignant, refutes it with, "Ugh!! StarClan would NEVER be interesting, we don't punish living cats we just float around and make vague, frustrating prophecies that do nothing but pad the word count. Why cant ppl understand that, gosh."
who wrote this? Gray Wing??
#The amount of passive voice Clear Sky has to be surrounded with in order to look like a redeemable character is dizzying#I feel like I'm reading a headline about cops who blew up an orphanage every time I read anything official about him#oh wait im sorry. A ''high-pressure accident which occurred at a government institution with 3 officers present'' lmaooooo#ultimate field guide#bone babble#im actually REALLY glad actually they havent been making these#This was garbage#There were a few good things in this but overall? Absolute slop. I wouldn't even feed this to a pig.#I think this is actually down there with Cats of the Clans (with Rock) for worst field guide#This is abysmal#You would be better with the wiki summaries and the 4 stories are mid at best#What a shame that they re-pivoted so hard from Riverstar's SE which I was JUST praising for tossing out that shitty ''redemption arc''#Nope. We're right back to square one.#How much do you guys wanna bet it's ONE writer who's OBSESSED with Clear Sky and every time he writes anything he does this#I'm not sure who wrote this one but let's see if my hunch is right lmao
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Holy fuck, man. What a trip Fearne has been on, huh?
You tell her how grateful you are to have her in your life, you flatter her, you tell her you need her, that you have to do this together. You have her make a promise that has this woman, born of chaos and fey, agreeing through shaking hands and a trembling voice.
You make her deceive your friends; you make her follow where they cannot know; you make her help you into this contraption; you make her feed this thing into you despite the fact that you both have been warned extensively of the risks. You make her watch you crumble and splinter and shatter and fracture and burst and implode. You make her watch you die, over and over and over and over, for a minute in agonizing bullet time.
You make her do all these things, because when she tries to back out, when she tries to not be the one who let you do this—how could you do this—
you tell her, "YOU PROMISED."
Because if there's one thing you know, it's that the fey do not break a promise.
#cant wait for her to fucking pissed for a very long time. shes really packing the entire human experience in a very short period of time.#critical role#cr spoilers#c3e77#fearne calloway#ashton greymoore#bells hells#just gonna get ahead of the um actually mfs and state that i am aware that its not confirmed that thats why ash brought up the promise#but boy howdy would it make for some great drama down the line huh?#edit: apparently i did not get ahead enough cuz ive had to turn off replies#since ppl were somehow interpreting this mini introspection piece as me infantilizing fearne??#anyway the first line is now changed to something a bit more neutral. after sleeping on it i do see how it was a bit aggressive at the top#other than that im not sure how else to reword without completely disregarding the core of the post#i might make more posts addressing this but im not sure yet. i wanna try to approach it in the best way possible.#but if it helps any the point of the post was not to say fearne had no agency. she had plenty of moments where she tilted one way or the#other. the POINT was to just shine some light on the emotional pressure she had been put under.#hasnt your friend ever asked you to keep a secret or promise that felt wrong or unsafe or made you anxious?#it has nothing to do with the amount of agency she had. ash wasnt holding a knife to her throat and forcing her to follow against her will#all i was trying to do was take this detail about his reminder of the promise that i thought was interesting and have some fun writing an#overview of the kinda stress she was under BEFORE theyd reached that scene. this entire ep was everyone discussing how grateful they were#for this family theyd made. and while im not saying ash was PURPOSELY emotionally manipulating fearne..#there is a level of unintentional manipulation when you pair the severity of his request with the convo theyd had 2 seconds prior#as well as the desperate need they all have to save each other NO MATTER WHAT.#ash was giving incredibly strong energy of a friend who peer pressures you into helping them do something that you know in your gut WILL#cause problems. hes a fucked up guy. theyre all fucked up guys. even if he didnt mean to “force” her into anything the pressure was THERE.#<- i feel like all of this overall gets my message across. i think maybe ill clean it up later into its own post.#im gonna try not to rush myself to get it done tho.#im under no obligation to explain myself. especially when ppl approach the misunderstanding by being rude af. but i do think it CAN#be clarified so id at least like to try to some degree
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Hi, I sent an ask like 5 minutes ago but I'm not sure if it went through for certain reasons so if it did just ignore that,
I love your fic so much. One of my favourite things is the authors note, I love hearing your rambles and thought processes behind certain scenes,
And JEE💖💖
The jee lovers in the fandom are small but dedicated, I love that man.
Any situation of an older man reluctantly and unknowingly adopting a child they hate and growing soft for them I love, I could ramble on for hours about certain headcanons I have regarding jee and zuko for hours, I need more of them (AND HIM AND BATO (please don't kill them i need AT LEAST 1 queer couple to be happy in this fic🙏🙏))
Also another thing, I do fanart and I really want to do art for this fic but I have no idea which scene to do, is there any specific ones you would want art of?
HI HI HI HI HIIII!!
I didn’t get your five minute ago ask but I got this one!! ahhhhhh my shameful authors notes haha I am very unhinged in there, I think I black out and rub my face in the keyboard honestly.
JEE LOVERS UNITED WE STAND!!!! I adore his dislike of both zuko & sokka in the beginning and now he’s falling hard for sokkas uncle and has pretty much said if anything happens to these kids I’ll burn this bitch to the ground. Unfortunately, Jees situation is going to get a bit more complicated he just doesn’t realize it yet haha.
THERE IS A HAPPY QUEER COUPLE! *gestures at liab zuko* I mean they’re happy like…. some of the time haha. Ok ok I see your point but no promises because you know when I start blowing shit up in liab I can get a little crazy :D mwahahaha.
FAN ART FOR ME?!1?27,771!37/&/ YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE ME FERAL!!! ahhhhh honestly idk how to pick scenes im so bad at it i dont know what to choose but if you did wanna draw any scenes maybe any from ITF? Your fave or ones scenes you liked idk that’s my suggestion lol.
thanks for this amazing ask you’re a beautiful human thank you!
#I’m excited to unleash next chapter haha#I changed a few details and it shifted the plot to match more of the vibe I want#Wasn’t sure how to pull it off but lying in bed one night I was like LE GASP I GOT IT!! & ran to my notebook and wrote it down#Yes I keep a note book by my bed#and forty cups of water what about it??#Anywayyyy this was such a fun ask and I honestly think we could fill a decent sized bus for the Jee fan club#He’s got lots of fans but I think some like him in certain situations others don’t so the fan hood isn’t jee united#Which is fine different strokes for different folks#But I love writing grumpy Jee haha and him next to hostile sokka and glaring growling zuko was fun#Now zukka is smiling and laughing and things are going along so swimmingly#HOPE NOTHING BAD HAPPENS#THAT WOULD BE A SHAME#;);););;)#:D#im sorry I’m such an asshole I can’t help it#Your ask made me smile thanks for sending it#& if you pick a scene to draw I’ll stare at it forever I promise#I can’t wait!!! But no pressure because it’s about having fun lol#Ok thanks again sorry for being so wild#Dixongravesart#leaving it all behind#liab#itf#ask
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Communities are a new way to connect with the people on Tumblr who care about the things you care about! Browse Communities to find the perfect one for your interests or create a new one and invite your friends and mutuals!
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do you guys ever have days where you’re just absolutely losing
#cause me today#tmi below if you’re a pussy#but here’s my day so far#woke up with a uti#AWWWW 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭 killing myself#went to urgent care to get antibiotics#97 minute wait and my only airpod that i brought dies abt 20 minutes in#the book i kept in the car for exact situations like this wasn’t there so i had to read my second backup#bc my phone was dying obviously why wouldn’t it#went back peed in the cup got my rx#got to the pharmacy the minute after they close for lunch#so i said fuck it im getting comfort food#as im driving to this local chain that has my comfort food jm waiting at a light#at this light there’s a turn lane that’s a little cramped and i’m in an suv right now#this elderly man nearly hits my car and then WAGS HIS FUCJING FINGER AT ME#LIKE IM THE ONE DOING SOMETHING WRONG#WHAT ARE YOU LATE FOR YOUR DYING APPOINTMENT???#then the restaurant has a line out the door so i say fuck that not getting food i guess#as i’m driving back to the pharmacy my low tire pressure light turns on#i inflate my tires (the last one i checked was the one with low pressure btw i know you were curious)#pick up my prescription#and then almost hit a squirrel as i pull out#HOW#HOW DOES THIS HAPPEB#i’m going to lie down in the dark and just try again tmrw#off my rocker
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#so like#my mom is undergoing a regular procedure tomorrow#but my heart still hurts because of the preparation#AND#something happened last night that was awful#her blood pressure can’t go up right now and she’s literally not allowed to be upset that’s dangerous for her health especially right now#im so fucking anGRY#there’s nothing else I can do for her besides take care of her and be around#but jfc#my chest is annoying#anxiety is annoying#can’t wait to get green and calm my nerves#i was about to throw up all over the place this morning#this is so fucking frustrating#we will be okay btw#just venting into the void#i just need to keep her calm#and myself too because im not helping by going off the charts on who i waNT to all of them every single person fuck oFF#YOU PICKED THIS SINGLE TIME PERIOD YO BE A FUCKING ASSHOLE#FOR GENUINELY NO REASON#and now my momma has to bear the consequences?#absolute bullshit#a kick to the shin for ALL OF YOU#with spiked boots thank you for coming to my ted talk
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I love when people take multiple days or weeks to respond to me honestly because then it's a nice surprise when they do plus then it takes less pressure off of me the 3-5 day replier (my nickname)
#especially like if we still interact on other platforms besides the one they have yet to respond on cos the sad part about not gerting a#response is only that you wanna talk to that person more but just waiting on a reply to a specific message im like take your time to cook#the pressure to respond to someone right away is one of my least favorite things on earth
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the internet: yeah to practise harm reduction you go for areas that have more flesh to avoid going too deep and needing medical attention
me, an idiot: let's pick this spot anyway, how bad can it be. ...how did i get that deep that quickly
#tw sh#im fine although there was definitely a moment where i worried i wouldn't be#when you grab a rag and put pressure on it and a few minutes later move your hand and discover it was completely soaked and your hand#is all bloody now too. anyway it stopped shortly after that#someone told me recently that the width they'll start considering sutures is like 5mm which seems??? so odd to me??? like that's tiny??#anyway i didn't go as deep as the last two times yet so it's fine#(i also have a horrible habit of repeatedly going over the same place for several days afterwards so that will probably change)#but eh im fine#i was just surprised by how deep it got how quickly#also something i find funny: the way nurse brain doesn't shut off#'will i pick here - no wait that's near an artery/vein/nerve'#'or here - no wait that's too close to a good cannulation site'#'here - no too close to deltoid'#personal#puddleglum hours#but yeah i really am fine#although i have thoroughly discovered the allure of arm cutting so. we'll see#in my usual scintillating cleverness i literally thought about visibility this time bc it's nearly short sleeve weather and nobody knows im#going this deep. except my mentor and my sister. but they both only know about the first time#however i did not consider. that most of my clothing does not have as long a short sleeve as my placement uniform. so im gonna either#have to be real careful about what clothing i pick for the next. oh month or two. since the first one was end of august and it's a month an#a bit later and it's still got a while of healing to go before i can wear short sleevs and pretend the scar was from months an months ago i#asked. anyway!#play stupid games you win stupid prizes
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TIONA TIONA MA GOING FERAL OVER YOUR NEW AU OH HOW I LOVE SPIRITS AND STUFF LIKE THAT AND MIKEY POWER IN A MISTERY? OH THE PLOT TRIONA MA FAKING DANCING ON THE FLOOR AND EATING YOUR BOOTS YOU CAN NOT MAKE ME GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE NOW I WILL BE HERE FOREVER AND OH MY GOD I JUST REMEMBERED AGAIN THAT I STILL HAVE TO READ YOUR PIRATE COMIC RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M SO FAKIN' FORGETFUL, AM GONNA READ IT WHEN I WILL HAVE TIME AND I FAKIN' PROMISE YOU YOU'LL HAVE A FAKING SPAM OF HEARTS AND I WILL TALK IN YOUR COMENTS MAYBE I'LL SCREAM IN YOUR ASK BOX TOO IF YOU DON'T MIND ME DOING SO MY GOD AM GONNA DIE WITH YOUR STUFF RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOU ARE SO CREATIVE AND YOUR ART IS SO NICE TO THE EYE AM GONNA BRAKE ONE OF YOUR CHAIRS NOW *RUNS TO THE KITCHENS AND NOMNOMS THE LEG OF THE FIRST CHAIR THAT SHE SEES* RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
KREDENAAAA!!!! <33333 STOPP AWH HJBFBJEB UR HYPE AND SUPPORT MEANS SO MUCH IM HUGGING YOU AND EATING THE CHAIR WITH YOU :'D
*throws you into a pile of hearts*
#TY SM :'D <3#no pressure to real anlfm atm!!!! its on a kind of hiatus#ive had the same page of the next update open and half done for over a month now#just not much mojo to do it#BUT IM HOPING THIS NEW ONE WILL BOOST MY DRAWING VIBES AGAIN!! :D#it'll be (hopefully) much shorter lol so that way I should be back to anlfm in like 3 months#when college is over lol#ANYWAY!!! LOVE YOU SM KREDENA!!! <333#cant wait to see ur new sona so I can draw them :D#MWAH!#moots#asks#tribbletalks
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Magentaahh!
#college: you aren't gonna graduate for maybe another 2 years if you take summers off#me: don't care#college: at least go full time#me: nope. i did full time for my 2 bachelor degrees. im reclaiming my time with the masters by going part.#college: well you won't graduate with your peers#me: you really think igaf? i dont care if its cohort 1 or 20 i graduate with. im following my own pace. not theirs. i am in no rush#college: yknow that biology minor is still an op--#me: shhh shhh shhh...i still have august and most of september before i have to deal with your shit susan lets talk then#me: now gtfo my boat. its summer vacation for god sake.#pretty much word for word how it went talking to the adviser that decided to call me up ON. A. SUNDAY.#kids don't let unis peer pressure you take your sweet ass time#magenta is my vent word#i know they want us to go out and save the mental health field asap but nahhh#if it burns while they're waiting for me then I'll work with fires
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I had an Isaac run where it was so stressful my heartrate was at a 145bpm and it persisted for 6 hours. After that, like every day that followed, my heart would just suddenly shoot up to 120-140bpm for an hour if I so much as thought about something I've been stressing over recently. Everybody encouraging me to go to the ER. And I'm just like "Oh please I've actually always been like this, I'm fine." Had to chop down my Adderall dosage. But I swear I've felt like this since high school, but I guess the medicine enhances the feeling and that feeling was ANXIETY.
So, suffice to say, playing The Binding of Isaac™️ almost gave me a heart attack.
#and its not the adderall thats just inducing the heartrate#cause i only got prescribed adderall this year#dad got diagnosed with afib when i was still in school. he rushed himself to the hospital with mom while i was taking a test#i was like what the heck where did you guys go and mom said oh dad was having a heart attack or something and we didnt want to bother you#like WOULDNT YOU TELL YOUR CHILD OH MAYBE YOU WONT SEE YOUR FATHER AFTER WE GO TO THE HOSPITAL BUT FINISH YOUR EXAM BABY#that was like 2020 and we have a couple of those oxygen readers for your fingers and it measures your heartbeat#i out one on for fun im just sitting there at the dinner table and my heartrate was at 120#like i didnt do anything we been stuck at home because pandemic and we just having a nice dinner#and my heartbeat was just thats my resting heartrate. they told me to try the blood pressure thing#average blood pressure but truly my heartbeat was just vibing at 120. mis padres were like oh no maybe you have afib too#babes youre too young to have that. and i jsut said oh is that what it means when im nauseous and have to lie down#i havent been diagnosed with anything. i suspect is tachycardia but no official thing#although i havent seen a cardiologist. what if we pay to get a screening and its nothing#i dont want to go thru all that and let it be nothing. lets wait until its a real problem#when my brother and his family visited just like what two weeks ago he was like#he was sitting on moms exercise bike and said it reads your heartrate#and it did you put your hands on the handle and it reads yer pulse#i told him like oooh let me try. hey brother my resting heartrate is 120 a lot. and hes like. what. get on this thing#and i get off the couch literally resting and lay my hands on the handles#and we see it go up. from 80 to 90 to 100 to 110 to 120 and hes a nurse and my moms a nurse and he says go upstairs and rest#dont hang out here with the kids. and im like ha i already told mom#he said sit there for ten minutes dont do anythingg and were trying again#he got mom to call our doctor and my doctor said to stop taking the adderall which is NOT IDEAL theres worse repurcussions to stop cold#so i cut mine in half. cause i had a dosage of 20mg and i almost fainted at work. we died the dosage down to 15#but after all that i cut my 15 down to 7.5 cause hey i cant stop cold but i can ween myself#brother said i shouldnt be taking adderall if im not doing anything that requires focus. but im like i need focus to live man#look at how much ive been drawing...i mean its only in like hour long intervals but its productive#so theres that. i can feel my heartrate already up but i guess its just a thing with me...anywho#doodles#the binding of isaac
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AUGHHHH CAN SOMEONE PLEK GET ME THE GARDENER’S TUNIC, LILYPAD UMBRELLA AND OR WISTERIA TEA-SET ON SKY:COTL 🥺🥺🥺😭 plek im despararegwjshdhd I’d give you hearts I’d draw for you just plekkk 🥺😭😭😭
#my cottagecore bugcore fairycore etherealcore heart sobhnghwhwhwhhwwww#ive been waiting for a few months to 2 years ueeueee plekkkkkk#plek take pitty i sob#/silly#/but also plek sob#sky children of the light#sky cotl#sky: children of the light#sky: cotl#also dont feel pressured im just#grips and sobs#whwhwhw cries#Like plek ok i cant its too pretty hrnghaaahhhh#its a need 😭😭😭#dm me or contact me in disc ueue i’ll either draw or pay you in hearts plek#sky cotl commissions#commissions#cottagecore
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been scribblin with the dip pens to prepare for inking the next comic (yuuto⏫’s “origin story” kind of basically) and wow turns out I can do anything I want forever
yuuto’s new friends names of amy and linh >:]c
#UTAU#sawayama yuuto#bakuspecial#[comic tag pending]#I'll be drawing about just the beginning of this whole plot this time round. but boy oh boy if I were paid to serialize this!!#well even if I wont. I will hopefully get to chip away at it a bit at a time. over the next uhhhhh ten years#in another news. I think somethings up with the dip pens. about anything comes out looking good with them#its scary!! I kept looking at my sketches like no way these are gonna work out. but I'll do it for the practice hour#and then I do it and it always turns out pretty good. what the hells!!! thats weird!! thats kinda scary I like it!!!#and like I'm absolutely not even that good with a dip pen yet!! 1/Ive just had these for uhh. two days. and 2/my hands are NOT steady#its why u see me undo and redo a line 298473987 times twice a half hour. it was caught on stream multiple times#but!! the dip pen's making me commit to a line. and also I'm slowly internalizing that anything'd come out okay with them#as long as I have a sketch. boy oh boy is freehanding with these hard#its so. idk its so nice!! its so fun. somehow a lot less pressure than the usual stuff I do lol#I cant wait to really get into drawing this comic... I cant wait to force all of u to look at yuuto&co#you WILL see and hear my baby boy#dskjfhsjk Im so glad the senpai lets me do this. I mean even if he doesnt I will do it anyway. its just gonna suck#but Im so happy I get to do this with him actually#hehehe >:]c
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