#im veering into relationship judging JUST TO BE CLEAR I AM SO SO HAPPY FOR THEM

[pieofdeath]

someone stop me from doing things that are bad for me.

[hopelikethemoon]

Butterflies (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Butterflies Rating: PG-13 Length: 1900 Warnings: Pining.  Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set in  June 1988.  Summary: Reader spends an evening out with Connie and Steve. 

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“So,” Connie started with a coy look, “Steve tells me you’ve caught the eye of a certain someone at work.”

You tensed, ever so slightly, as you brought the beer bottle to your lips and took a sip. “We’ve just had one date.”

“Oh, so it was a date?” She wiggled her brows. “That sounds like there might be another date, doesn't it, Steve?” Connie questioned, nudging him in the ribs. 

You shot Steve a withering look. You had explicitly told him not to go running his mouth about your date. And that meant Connie. 

“Who needs a refill? Oh, look you do, honey.” Steve remarked as he picked up Connie’s empty wine glass and retreated towards the bar. 

“I told him not to tell anyone.” You explained to Connie as she met your gaze with a questioning look. “You know how I feel about dating coworkers.” The uncomfortable conversation the Murphys had roped you into after you started working for the DEA was still fresh in your mind a year later. 

“But he’s not really your coworker.” 

“I see him at work!” You huffed a little, folding your arms across your chest. “Sure, he’s more of a work-adjacent associate.” You shrugged your shoulders, “I just want to keep this whole thing on the downlow for now.”

Connie looked so excited for you. It actually kinda made your heart hurt a little. She truly wanted the best for you — and everyone, really. And at least now she wouldn’t keep trying to find you a date. 

“Is there something to keep on the downlow?” 

You rolled your eyes and took another swig of beer, “We’re going hiking this weekend.” 

“Okay, I have to ask,” Connie started, “Did you guys sleep together?”

“Really?” You let out an exasperated sound, sinking back against the booth. “No. Okay? We did not sleep together.” 

“I’m so proud of you.” She slid out from her side of the booth and moved to join you on yours. “I’m not going to judge you for how you live your life but—”

“Sounds like you’re about to.” You side-eyed her. 

“I’m not. But I am glad that you might’ve found someone to settle down with.” 

“We have had one date, Connie. One. Date.” Your brows drew together as you turned to look at her. “I don’t know how things work in West Virginia, but…” 

“Oh, shut up!” Connie laughed, squeezing your arm as she leaned against you. “We should double date.” 

“Maybe.” You shrugged. “I meant it when I said I’m trying to keep this thing on the downlow, okay?” 

Steve returned then, sliding into the booth across from the two of you. “You two through talking about the suit?”

“You’re as bad as Javier.” You scoffed, shaking your head. “Lance is a perfectly decent person.” He was actually pretty fantastic, in your book. He was a charmer, that was for certain. A little bit of a southern accent that really suited his smooth way of talking. Strong jaw, pretty blue eyes. 

The only thing wrong with him was the fact that Javier hated him. Steve did too, but Javier… really hated the guy. 

The funniest thing was the fact that you were dating Lance because of Javier. If he hadn’t pointed out that he didn’t like the way the ‘CIA suit’ was looking at you, you wouldn’t have noticed that Lance was hitting on you. You tried to keep work and your personal life separate. It was hard to do that in Colombia, where your work friends had become your only friends. 

Javier had no idea that he had put Lance on your radar as a potential boyfriend. Boyfriend. It was such a juvenile term, but Lance had already put that out into the universe. It had actually been sweet. After your date, he’d walked you home, kissed your cheek, and told you that he would be honored with the chance to be your boyfriend. 

But it put you in a weird position. Javier hated Lance. He hated the CIA, in general, but Lance really seemed to piss him off.  Every time you were stuck in a joint department meeting, Javier would seethe over every fucking word Lance said. Not that it would just stop after the meeting. 

You were pretty fucking nervous about letting Javier find out about you and Lance. That was the sole reason you’d told Steve. You wanted to know what he thought would happen when Javier found out. But the man was a wild card sometimes and, as Steve pointed out, you tended to be on the same page as him. 

Which meant there was every chance you might lose Javier. And that prospect really sucked. Who else was going to talk telenovelas with you? 

Steve drummed his fingers against the table, shaking his head, “Let’s make one thing clear right now. I am not as bad as Javier. If you’re happy, that’s all that matters.” 

You smiled at him, “Thank you.” 

“We’ll have to have both of you over soon,” Connie suggested. “Once you’re ready to be more public about your relationship.” She nudged you in the ribs, “Don’t worry about whatever issue Javier has. You’re living your life, not his.” 

“Yeah.” You chewed on your bottom lip as you finished off the last of your beer. “You know, we’ve got an early morning, Steve. I think I’m gonna head home.” 

“Already?” His brows rose upwards. “Alright, well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Are you okay?” Connie questioned as she slid out of the booth so you could get out. 

“I’m just tired.” You admitted and you were. But you also really didn’t want to have this conversation. “Five gets here fast.” 

She hugged you, “I really am happy for you.” 

“Thank you,” You squeezed her back. “See you in the morning, Murph.” He offered him a mock salute, before you headed to the bar to close out your tab. 

It felt stupid to run, but you really didn’t want to talk about your fledgling relationship with Lance. If you weren’t careful, Connie would already have your wedding and honeymoon planned by the weekend. 

You really liked him too. He’d been an absolute gentleman during the date — the kind of gentleman that made the butterflies in your stomach swarm just from thinking back on it. It had been awhile since you felt that kind of giddy. 

 ———

 Sleep was not your friend. Every time you started to fall asleep, your mind would present some new topic for you to stress about. Currently, it was Javier. Of course it was Javier. As if he wasn’t constantly on your mind recently, as you mulled over whether or not you’d lose his friendship. Nights like this one was precisely why you didn’t want to lose him. 

You threw off your covers and padded barefoot out of your bedroom, grabbing the phone off the side table. You caught ahold of the cable, keeping it from snagging on the edge as you sat it down on the sofa beside you. 

You curled your legs beneath you as you sank back against the sofa, turning the TV on and seeking out whatever telenovela was on at one in the morning. You tucked the phone between your shoulder and your ear as you dialed a familiar phone number. 

It took two rings before he picked, “Hello?”

“Hey,” You offered quietly. “I hope I didn’t wake you up.” 

“You didn’t,” Javier assured you, though his voice sounded rather exhausted. 

“Amar y Vivir is on.” 

“Yeah?” Javier questioned, before you heard the rustle of Javier’s hand covering the receiver. “Hang on a second.” The line went quiet. He’d clearly sat the phone down. You could barely make out the sound of voices — his and a woman’s — though both were distant and muffled. 

He clearly hadn’t been up. 

You were a second away from hanging up, before Javier returned. “Sorry about that, company just left.” He sighed heavily, “What’s this about Amar y Vivir?”

“Javier, you didn’t have to kick the poor woman out at one in the fucking morning to talk telenovelas with me.” 

“It’s fine.” He assured you. “She’s already gone and I’ve already got the TV on.” He sighed heavily and you could almost picture him dragging his fingers through messy hair. 

“I still can’t believe they chose to show a car bombing,” You stated, veering your mind away from the direction it was headed. “In the current political climate? It was ballsy.” 

“I’m impressed Escobar hasn’t found a way to permeate the telenovelas yet.” Javier offered with a chuckle, “There’s nothing he won’t use to his advantage.” 

“Don’t ruin novelas for me, Javi. You can’t make them about work.” 

Javier snorted, “You’re the one who brought up car bombs, baby.” 

You rolled your eyes, “I’m not your baby.” 

“You got a preference for something else, baby?”

“No.” You laughed softly. “It’s fine.” 

“That’s what I thought. “Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth, before sighing heavily. “You know, this isn’t a half-bad novela. I still think them having a kid was an odd choice.” 

“Why?”

“I don’t know. He’s got his enterprise, she’s got her music.” He paused for a moment, humming thoughtfully. “I dunno. They just didn’t strike me as the parenting type.” 

“I guess I get that,” You shrugged. “Her own parents weren’t the best.” You grew quiet and realized you were listening to the sound of Javier breathing, instead of focusing on what Irene was singing on the screen. “Javi, have you fallen asleep?”

“No.” He answered, though you weren’t entirely convinced. 

“Javi?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re asleep aren’t you?” 

Javier exhaled slowly, “Maybe.” 

“Javi, just go back to sleep. I didn’t mean to wake you up.” 

“You know I’m…” He trailed off, growing quiet again. It sounded like maybe the phone had slipped out of his hold. “I’m always going to answer the phone for you.” 

Which was a silly thing to say, considering he had no way of knowing that it was you calling him. “I hope that’s the truth, Javi.” You whispered, even though you knew he couldn’t hear you now. “I really hope you’re still going to answer when I call.” 

You started to put the phone back on the cradle, but you paused. Maybe he’d wake back up and expect you to be on the other line still. You stretched out on the sofa, tucking the pillow under your head. 

This might be the last time Javier would stay up — or fall asleep — watching telenovelas with you. Even sleeping, you weren’t quite ready to let that go. Just in case, you lost this. 

But Connie was right. You weren’t living his life, you were living your life. 

Lance wasn’t going anywhere. 

If Javier cut you off, it would hurt like hell but you weren’t going to let it hold you back. That wasn’t you. You’d jumped through every arbitrary hurdle, you’d been met with thanks to men, and the last thing you were going to do was let Javier’s bad attitude hold you back from something that had the potential to be great. 

You heard a rustle on the other end of the line and you brought the phone back to your ear, “Javi?”

“Sorry, I uh…”

“Fell asleep?”

“Yeah.” He laughed nervously. “I’m awake now. I’m not going anywhere.”

You really hoped that was true.