#im v curious how many of you my followers are even active

[inquisitive-owl]

questioningowlkid > inquisitive-owl

[duskterrace]

local ghost spotted posting intro five days late, anomaly muns claim. many express shock over ghost's sudden appearance. ✩ ( let's pretend this is introduction is actually on time and i wasn't panicked about how little i had ready lmao)

sorry for the super late introduction guys and thank you admins for being so understanding with me and my sweet summer child ! hi everyone ! ✩ im ghost ( they/them, 21+, est ) sleepy and back from the afterlife to offer up seo jinsol, your local 23 year old disaster astronomy major with the ability to manipulate the presence of yin and yang within themselves ! i've been so excited for this rp, and i honestly cant wait to start plotting with everyone. everything you could possibly need on jinsol is below, along with some headcanons and wanted plots! my discords available for anyone who needs it ( and pls need it tumblrs ims will be the death of me ). pls send a dm or leave a like if you'd like to plot so i can race over and gush over your muse(s) !

ㅤ STATS   |  ABILITY   | BIO (U/C)   |  PLOTS | PINTEREST  | PLAYLIST

✩ BASIC INFORMATION.

name seo jinsol  ╱ age twenty3 ╱ pronouns he/they/she ╱ gender possibly ╱ birthday december 13, 1999 ╱ birthchart sagittarius sun aquarius moon leo rising ╱ hometown hongdae, seoul ╱ orientation bisexual, androsexual lean  ╱ personality outgoing, playful, confident, thrill-seeking, sarcastic, impulsive, stubborn, hot-tempered, curious ╱ faceclaim choi san ( ateez ) & hwang yeji ( itzy ) ╱ character inspo post ponytail zuko & sokka ( atla ), jordan li ( gen v ), beast boy & starfire ( dc titans )

✩ HEADCANONS. tw: far too many avatar the last airbender references.

raised with manners, so they're very respectful. especially of their elders and women. they don't eat first when elders are present, they offer assistance with tasks ( normally being the first to jump to help someone ), they tend to offer to listen to someones worries, etc.

since their power is based on internal balance an yin and yang, they can be found doing a lot of activities around campus to clear their mind from time to time. ranging from yoga in the morning, to sketching, jogging, endurance workouts, forcing themself to relax, and burning incense. think uncle iroh but as a modern day, 23 year old college student. when their energy ( chi ) isn't balanced, they experience disharmony, a very tiring process that causes the typical results of disharmony except ... personified. so gender switching to female, being depressed, stressed and anxious with tummy issues ( normal hot girl sh*t imo ) all at the same time and against their will etc.

contrary to how i explain them, they are not as calm, collected nor as wise as uncle iroh. they more so have the personality of zuko, around when he started being hot and also sokka. so sarcastic, awkward, still a hot head, playfully, clumsy, and always cracking a joke or two. the vibes of a beloved leader that probably shouldn’t be leading.

they're wanderlust coded. i have this weird headcanon of them, where its a day off and they just turn off their phone at night and go for a walk in the city and just exist, looking at the city lights, sitting and looking at the river, grabbing ice cream even though its cold out side and then eventually heading back to the dorms as if they didn't just disappear for a few hours without a word. they definitely do this often too, while eating some cheap buy buy one get one snack they bought at the a convenience store.

despite how they may act sometimes, they love skinship; on that note, physical touch & quality time are their love languages.

silly but their side of the dorm follows the rules of feng shui and they’d probably playfully nag their roommate ( or any friend really ) to let them just to rearrange one of their things so their stuff fits in the room a little better.

following the ( TW ) death of their grandmother, they fell into the deepest depression and stopped wearing the patch for a while, ( no longer than a month ). the extremely negative emotions they faced kept them female the entire time, but soon enough they caught feelings for someone. feeling happier, they started the went back on the patch again. in the crudest tldr; they got their heart broken pretty badly. they decided to go off of the nullivi patch one last time after falling head over heels for a normal person. the showed them their ability, and just to be completely truthful about who they were, they shifted. it backfired pretty quickly and they were shunned, shamed and rejected. this is one incident they still struggle with letting go, and it currently affects how they view / form relationships.

they don't hate nullivi but they don't like it either. it messes with their internal balance which can make it tough to use their powers later and requires a pretty strict regimen when off of nullivi to balance their energies again.

They actively seek connections. They’d give anything to connect and have someone understand them, deeply and intrinsically without feeling like they’re being judged for who they are. They want to be able to open up and have someone see them for them; for whats really the inside and not just whats the outside, no matter what form they may take.

* more coming soon, only one braincell is on shift tonight .

✩ WANTEDPLOTS. *more plots en route.

CRUSH : it starts with those shy glances across the room and before they know it , all of a sudden all of the songs they listen to were about your muse. for some reason, your muse has caught jinsol's eye. your muse gives them butterflies, hope even, but they don't call it a crush for nothing. ( possible routes: unrequited & requited ) SPRING FLING : what you had was quick and fun, and meaningless. in the end, there was a clear agreement from both sides that it was no strings attached, hence a clean break was expected. so why does it feel weird watching you walk by them without a word? and why does it sting to see you with someone else? THE DREADED GROUP PROJECT : lets be real, no one in this group ever really liked each other. Since the start of the semester they've kept a pretty good distance from each other, but despite their best efforts, this year they share a class and even worse they've been partnered together for a group project. their final grade is literally dependent on them working together and fast. will they do suck it up long enough to pass ? ( 0 / 2 ) A RIVAL : no need for formalities here. this is someone they just can't seem to see eye to eye with. your muse is someone who sees their presence as a threat and/or vice versa. it could be a friendly rivalry, or a genuine grudge filled feud. whatever it is, bring on the angst ! ( * would be great for rival muses in other rally houses )  TRAINER:  someone they can honestly throw down with. as a member of samjoko, they're constantly trying to find new ways to use their abilities to their advantage. whether its through regular hand to hand combat or testing the limits of their powers, they crave the power to propel samjoko's reputation further and feel like its their sole responsibility to harness said power. EX: a recent ex that broke them / or / the person they broke . the first person they sorta came out to about everything. their playlist has to be full of sad-ish songs for a reason right? this person is the reason, the reason for their glow up in public, and glow down in private. the break up could've been they're fault, could've been the other persons. all they know is... they hate that they still think about your muse as often as they do.  OTHERS : fellow members of samjoko, other residents in blue dorm, the usual fwb/ewb, enemies, childhood friend, friend groups, acquaintances, roommate etc connections. maybe people in the same major/classes, or another club of some kind?

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤDo you wish to make a connection?        ▶︎ YES.ㅤㅤㅤ NO.

[cloverwood]

hehe questionnaires >:3c for those curious abt ol' cloverwood here

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to? I'm otherkin, therian and questioning archetrope

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any) I'm a shapechanger fairy otherkin, a white rabbit therian and im questioning wizard archetrope :>

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)? I do tho theyre often mild/partial. And are 90% phantom limb shifts, very rare i get mental shifts. However I believe that my brain is always in fairy mode so thats kinda why, i only rly get mental shifts for either my therian self OR other forms my fairy self takes (like wolf or deer etc). For phantoms my most common shifts are: pointed ears, fairy wings, fluffy tail (wolf or partial wolf form) or rabbit ears. I've also had hooves and more recently paw and maw shifts bc of more frequently being in wolf form.

as for cameos its hard to tell if any of my shifts are cameos bc as a shapechanger i take many forms but also experience what i call 'mirror shifts' or 'sympathy shifts' where ill take on phantoms or headspace of beings im seeing or watching. My nightfury form is an example as well as i experienced hoof shifts while watching mlp. I don't consider these cameos (im not even sure if i rly believe in the concept for myself) but rather just an aspect of my shapechanger ID.

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life? Um, i find it doesnt rly affect me too much, or at least it doesnt feel much different than how it did before i realised. If anything, mentally, i feel like im returning to the headspace/mind i had as a child. Not necessarily being childlike but being more open and seeing the world with (what i call) secondsight. It's very rare that anyone around me would rly know if im experiencing nonhuman things unless i tell them. And the only times i rly tell ppl if im say around my partners and im experience strong/uncomfortable shifts just so they know for context.

5/ What do you think of the community? nnnnnyeeehggwueureeehhh ok so, i do love having a community of beings who experience these same weird things I do and to have names to put to feelings i've had for a long time. But i've only been in the actual community a few months and im already having to find that i need to carve out smaller, more selective spaces for myself (like discords) because trying to be active in a greater sense of community (tumblr tags mainly) i find quite stressful. But almost entirely for the same reason any internet community is stressful, Especially on tumblr and that is; everyone's obsession with black and white moralized discourse about incredibly nuanced topics that are honestly not-as-big-of-a-deal-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things-as-ppl-here-think-they-are. And it drives me up the wall. but hh i wont go into too much detail ill just leave it at that.

Basically the only issue i have with the wider community is the same issue i have with any community space on tumblr, not just alterhumans. And I'm gonna probably try cut back on how often im in the tags and just stick to posting OC stuff here and reblogging from ppl i follow.

Smaller groups, the irl nonhumans i know tho? great, wonderful, fantastic.

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity? hmm, being around my supportive peeps (humans and non humans) esp one of my partners (who has another nh partner) who's very encouraging of me expressing this part of myself! To the point where they do species affirming photography of us as art projects and its v fun (i have no finished photos yet but will post when they happen!) Other things i find v euphoric is wearing outfits that i find align to my fairyself, listening to my fairy music playlists and doing crafts and art things related to my IDs.

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria? Sometimes but it's not very strong, and when I do its pretty much only for my fairy self. I feel strong dysphoria toward my ears and my dream is to get their permanently pointed one day. but noone in my country does that procedure u-u

I do get waves of dysphoria for certain things, like not having my wings, or the ability to fly or not being able to shapeshift. But they don't often last long. Ear dysphoria is my sort of only long term thing. Outside of that, because i feel as though im a fairy disguised as a human i feel quite ok in my human body, moreso bc i love humans (and primates) so having a human and primate body can be quite euphoric in a sort of autistic special interest way. And attraction way too as I have a lot of features i find attractive in others.

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened? Community is great but don't put your age on the internet!! and dont put your face or location on here either!!! Hell try and use a different name too! You can partake in community just fine anonymously! But please keep urself safe, it's honestly just good practice in general. The only reason i have my face on here is bc i have a huge ego lol.

as for actual n/ahaa stuff uh, idk i also just recently awakened but ill say; you have all the time in the world to figure yourself out, you are likely to go thru lots of different labels and views of urself. Its normal, its ok, it can be exhausting but it's kind of par for the course in being a young person lol.

9/ Do you have/want to have gears? YOS!! i haaaave big green fairy wings (which ill post nice photos of soon i prommy), i have sets of hang-on (?) elf ears, i have several kinds of tails, some real some faux (tho i plan on making more faux tails to wear bc id rather my real ones just be wall decor), i have several masks that i have made aaand i think thats it?

technically one of my fursuits is of a (mostly) white (demon) rabbit but i made him long before any of this and idk if i feel particularly species affirming while wearing him lol. But it is fun taking a different form so maybe it appeals to my shapeshifter nature.

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate) ooh this one is fun but also long haha, but a good place to elaborate on what i briefly mention in my pinned post:

For my rabbit theriotype i feel its 90% imprinting. It's probably why i don't feel a super strong sense of it or dysphoria. i kinda describe it as like, if ur born in one country and raised in another u tend to identify more with the latter. It feels like i was born human but raised by rabbits. My first ever pet was a rabbit named Ruby and i was v attached to her, looking back it feels almost like a familial connection. Later on (while we still had her), we also gained more rabbits and bred them, so i was very interconnected to their life cycle (birth, life and death. plenty of death. rabbits love dying tbh) and so i've always felt like a large part of my brain or personality is just simply.. rabbit. I've just always been rabbit. I always drew myself as a rabbit furry or a human with rabbit ears and tail, just completely instinctually. It made me happy when i was a kid to think i was born in the year of the rabbit (tho as an adult i learnt i actually wasnt bc chinese new year dates oop) i always had buck teeth and was never embarrassed abt em. Idk i was always just... rabbit.

As for fairies~ well it gets complicated haha. There's def a lot of imprinting in a similar way to rabbits. My mum was big on fairies (had a huge collection of fairy figurines and introduced me to a lot of fairy books and things) and so i kinda grew up around their image as well. An author i read a lot as a kid (and would love a collection of as an adult) is Shirley Barber, she's an australian author and painter so idk if her work is popular outside of oceania but her work was super influential on me and my perfection of fairies. It's also the reason I use the spelling "fairy" over "faery" all are correct but the former is v nostalgic to me and feels familial in a sense.

I do also feel a spiritual origin for fairy too tho, tho i had only realised after awaking as otherkin bc that is what spurred me on to actually explore spirituality finally. And immediately upon doing so I got a sense from the fae i work with of like 'omg finally ur here' XD I get the sense im fae internally in a human body in order to serve myself, humans and faries. Tho my fairy-to-human relationship does shift and change, as fairies tend to do. It's a very fluid existence, some days im just a fairy disguised as a human, other days i feel half n half, sometimes i feel a bit like a human with fairy ancestry. also i use 'serve' loosely, i dont rly feel im put her with a purpose more just a general sense of like, bringing magic to humans and maybe protecting the environment but mostly just learning how to live. idk its v loosey goosey on this side haha. still working it out.

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈ no, not gonna pressure anyone to do this :) however if u want to feel free to and u can say that i sent u haha

If you are a alterhuman, reblog and answer these questions!

(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

5/ What do you think of the community?

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

9/ Do you have/want to have gears?

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈

[aphrodeiities]

i reached like 5,000+ followers like a week ago but i didnt know how to bring it up for some reason. [lemme remind you i did hit 5,000+ before but lost like followers because of the whole johnny v amber scandal, but i reached 5,000+ again in like two days and gained more followers as well] though, reaching this amount of followers is a big deal, it's like half 10,000.

i just want to thank everyone who was in this journey with me, i've been very controversial on astro tumblr and im pretty sure there's people who roll their eyes, side-eye or even kiss their teeth when they see my name appear on their screen. well, my posts are amazing that's why i got so much followers, so it'll be pretty difficult to escape me <3

i'll always voice about what i think is right and what i think is wrong, and even though there's people who go like, "she talks too much" or "here she goes again," or "you always have something to say" it reminds me of how much confidence and boldness i have to actually use my platform to call out people. while those people only "reblog" or "like" awareness posts then think that's enough activism, they can kindly kiss my ass and reflect on why their page isnt growing or flourishing. it's because not only do they post content you can find on many other pages, they don't make it a safe space for victims, and they dont speak their mind or behave as their true seleves. and i believe aside from my content, speaking my mind is what attracted other people!

but aside from the endless amount of throwing shade. i really want to thank you guys for your support! i truly been through many eras. and would probably even go through more and im curious about them <3 on the other hand, thank you for helping my posts to grow, and for the crazy amount of clients i receive!

idk to throw a game for 5,000+ but once again and i hope you guys will enjoy the future content that'll be coming out!

father pluto

[howaboutleeches]

Ive never sent an ask before so im not sure if it will work but how about the Arcana main 6 with a seamstress Mc :)

How would the Main Six React to a seamstress MC!

Asra:

🔮 Asra could go hours and hours just watching you sewing, putting pieces together, and working on your machine. He found it mesmerizing how skilled you were, his eyes focused on every hand movement of yours.

🔮 The sound of your machine calmed him down, and he could fall asleep on a couch next to your working space, the one he had prepared specially for you and your craft. Enough lightening to make your job easier, any materials you may need and a comfortable chair to keep you comfortable.

🔮 Once you started working, Faust paid attention to you as well. She would slither up your desk or your back and watch closely, her big eyes shining as she watched you working. "Friend, work hard!"

🔮 Asra didn't want to ask for it, but if you made something for him, he would keep it around him all the time. Wearing, wrapping around his neck, around his waist, he wouldn't let it go.

🔮 Even better if you made something for Faust as well. Maybe something matching for the three of you? It would definitely put a smile on his face and make Faust's tail wiggle in excitement.

Nadia:

👑 No matter how she came to know about your skill, either you telling her or she figuring it out on her own, she became very excited about it. "I've always admired seamstresses! I tried sewing once but I just didn't have enough skill to seek it further", she would say as she grabbed your hands, caressing them as if trying to feel the power coming from them.

👑 Not even a week later, she grabbed you by the arm and led you across the halls of the palace, until she stopped in front of a room, a bright smile on her face. She opened the door to reveal a room filled with fabrics, sewing machines, mannequins, and many other items that made your heart skip a bit.

👑 That was her way of showing how much she appreciated your work. Contributing with her money to help you have the best environment (and products) to pursue your sewing career.

👑 She would ask you to make her outfits and brag to other royals and her own family about how good you were. It didn't take long for you to start receiving requests from other kingdoms and from her relatives as well.

👑 She just wants to see you happy, and knowing she helped you with it also fills up her sense of pride. Don't get me wrong, she didn't do it so she could brag about it, but she likes to know her help took part in your happiness.

Julian:

♠️ When he came to know about what you did, he was beyond thrilled. He started to bombard you with the most various questions regarding your profession, how long you have been doing that, who taught you, and what kind of things you could make.

♠️ Although he felt a little embarrassed to ask for it, he would gather enough courage to do some stuff for him, if you wanted to and had the time, of course. Custom eyepatches would be his top request.

♠️ Eventually, he also started asking for costume capes. He got so excited when you would walk into the room waving a brand new cape, almost like a child receiving a Christmas gift.

♠️ He would often bring you books about sewing, and beautiful fabrics he bought with a discount, calling it his "contribution". The thing is, he felt guilty for asking you to do eyepatches and capes for him, but he felt so good wearing something you made, he couldn't help it!

♠️ Whenever your machine would have any sort of issue, he would rush to your aid and try to fix the situation, even if you knew how to do it yourself. He just loved being useful and getting a kiss on the cheek as a reward for his good deeds.

Muriel:

🌿 He and Inanna were curious regarding your machine. When it started to make noises, Inanna growled a little at it, but seeing it was harmless, she decided to approach and sniff. Soon, she started to enjoy the noises.

🌿 Muriel on the other hand had a frown on his face, saying he didn't like it. He actually didn't have anything against the machine itself, but he started feeling jealous of it. You spent so much time working on it, he felt left out.

🌿 You ended up noticing that and decided to set up a corner next to your working table where he could rest close to you and the fireplace as well. After that, his complaints stropped.

🌿 He sometimes went out to gather some flowers he found in the forest, hoping you could use them when sewing. He always tried to get the brightest and best smelling ones, saying they would look good on you.

🌿 If you made something for Inanna, he would think about proposing to you on the spot. Inanna has been his companion for a long time, and if you cared about her enough to do something nice for her out of genuine kindness, he would know you're the right one.

Portia:

🐈 After finding out about you being a seamstress, she bothered Mazelinka for days so she could give her an old sewing machine she had in her house and other sewing materials that were buried deep into her house. Even if they were there for a long time, they were still very good quality.

🐈 She loved to watch you sewing, finding the sound of the machine extremely relaxing. She also pulled Pepi into her lap to watch you, which she did with wide eyes, following every movement of your hand with her gaze.

🐈 Portia one day asked if you could make something for Pepi, which you agreed to. As a surprise, you made matching sweaters for Pepi and Portia, which made her tear up in joy.

🐈She always bragged about your work to Nadia, saying you were, without a doubt, the best seamstress in the entire city of Vesuvia, the whole world even! She was extremely proud of you and wasn't afraid to show it to anyone.

Lucio:

🐐At first, he tried to convince you to pursue another career path. He said you were royalty now, and royalty didn't have to sew, they had other people to do that for them. It slightly annoyed him that you were doing something that someone else could take off your shoulders.

🐐As he watched you work though, his opinion started to slowly change. He saw the effort and love you put into it, and the beautiful pieces you created. He slowly started to fall in love with it.

🐐He secretly ordered a sewing machine for himself, thinking that it should be easy to sew. Then, he would show you his final work and you would awe and praise him. At least that was his plan, but after twenty minutes of trying to get the machine to work, he gave up.

🐐 He swallowed his pride, something he has only done three times in his life (he kept count of it), and went to you, asking you to teach him how to sew. The smile on his face when he made a scarf was priceless. He paraded it around the castle, making sure that everyone knew he had done it himself. And that you, his amazing and talented partner, had taught him how.

-----------------------------------------------

Well, I've been absent for a good while now, I'm not even sure no one reads my stuff anymore, but if someone still does, here ya go! I hope you enjoy this (◠‿◠✿)

I plan on being more active, maybe posting once a week.

tag list

@the-chaos-siblings @angelyuji @diamondlight301 @antipositiva @alliespec @euphorically-bisexual @v--o-i--d @llavender-tae @iarychachy @sonofahell @sluttiestestablishment @esdtvbjikmkkjbvvh @mycomancer @spinehoarder @blackrose8425 @prettyorangepineapple @anjhope1 @updatedautopsyrep0rt

If you want to be added to the tag list, go interact on my pinned post so I can know  😉 💖

[anaryllis]

thank you ange!! okay so I'm recently coming to terms with being an nb trans guy despite id-ing as an nb lesbian previously. i've known for a while, but i'm just now telling people who are important to me for the first time and pursuing transition. my gf has been super supportive. i love her deeply. i KNOW i'm into women and many nb people, but lately i've been questioning if i like men or not. i know that since becoming more comfortable with my transmasc identity i've been fantasizing (1/4)

about situations with men, specifically other transmascs, and sometimes fictional / celeb men somewhat incessantly. like it's my go to fantasy right now. but i'm not sure i've ever been like attracted to a real guy irl. in fact i'm actively repulsed by many men. i guess all the transmascs in my life (my bro, my best friend) have only ever been in same gender relationships since coming out and i don't know if i'm genuinely into men or if like being mlm is just how i understand trans (2/4)

identity bc of the people in my life. like on one hand i really want for a guy to be attracted to me as a guy and care for me, that sounds so pleasant and gender affirming. the thought makes me happy. but it's also v possible that bc i identified as a lesbian before this i'm just sort of biased against heterosexuals and i'm not mentally prepared for the transhet label. like maybe being a straight guy in a ""queer"" relationship is too confusing to me. idk. me and my gf are openly polyam (3/4)

so i don't know if this desire to pursue men is like genuine potentially bisexual attraction or just some last ditch effort for gender affirmation or to escape straightness. i know on one hand it's not really that important but it's just so hard to categorize these thoughts and feelings and i was curious if you (or maybe any followers) had any thoughts about that. thank you so much. really (4/4)

hi yeah!!! first of all congrats on the new Gender, i hope its giving you all the joy & peace u deserve! & im especially glad u have ur gf to support u thru all of this. from my experience at least the switch from lesbian to well, not that, felt particularly difficult & having the positive ppl in my life rly made a big difference

this ended up rly long so under a cut it goes

like u said before u can rly only answer these questions for urself BUT i can tell u what happened for me & what i rly asked myself! my attraction to women has like, pretty much never been in question. i realized i liked girls age 12 and since then the fluctuations have been based on whether men were involved also lol. during my strongest time identifying as a lesbian, i definitely still had some attraction to men - but it was typically in the context of unattainable men & fictional characters, which sounded like comphet to me so i just didnt worry about it. most men disgusted me & i didnt rly have any close male friends. the closest man in my life was a recent ex that i had difficult feelings surrounding so i preferred to just, ignore it lol. i felt especially disgusted by the idea of being with a man while i identified rly strongly as a woman - both b/c of a revulsion to str8ness lol and also just like. discomfort w the way men see women u know? not to mention i was nonbinary even as a woman, and i had faith that women i dated would see that - i didnt have that faith in potential men i’d date

the real Crisis thing for me was actually developing a crush on my then guy best friend / now boyfriend lol! i didnt understand how i could be feeling so strongly about him when i was supposedly a “lesbian”. i’d already been questioning my gender for a time and that just added more confusion for me & i did a lot of rly long & hard thinking about it, reflected on my own interests (previous partners/crushes, unattainable crushes, etc.), how my own gender played into it, etc. the conclusion i came to was: 1. my attraction to men (irl, attainable ones) is rly dependent on trust. the fact of the matter is ive just never been in that many close, trusting relationships with men so crushes rarely developed. but when they did it rly v obvious it was genuine so i believed it was true, and 2. i do think my gender has a lot to do with it! i feel a lot of the same gender euphoria ur talking about when it comes to my relationship with my boyfriend. idk if id call myself transmasc truly but that element of my identity is rly tied to my attraction to men. aand 2b. i think a lot of my stress surrounding relationships with men in the past (like i talked about with dating them as a woman) has been about dysphoria. i didnt feel like it was possible to be with a man before that wouldnt be dysphoria-inducing - but instead it gives me gender euphoria!! which rules!! 3. oh and also like. when it comes to unattainable men im into cis & trans men, but of ppl ive known/been into personally its p much always been trans guys. i felt a lot of guilt around that before, but i do think that just has to do with t4t feelings & that feeling of trust! so unpacking that as being ok also made a difference for me

i do get ur concern about avoiding straightness - i havent had that specific concern, but i do think i was rly moralistic about my attraction to men. like, i felt like being bi didnt fit with my feminist politics, you know? and im definitely bi, so that was bad for me. so i do wanna say: if youre not into men, thats okay!! being a trans guy who loves women is wonderful in its own way, and i dont want u to have to feel shame about that. that said, in my experience i think having Gayness at the core of your attraction makes perfect sense. if exploring your gender as a guy feels linked to being attracted to guys, ive felt the same and you wouldnt be alone in that!

do whatever feels good to you & explore however. but imo my advice is basically: if/when you pursue men romantically, i feel like you’ll Know if its genuine or not. if you’re wanting to be particularly cautious, i’d say like leave the dating field open for guys even if ur not Actively pursuing them, and if the right one comes along that you feel that attraction for him, then i think thatd be wonderful!

sry for the. incredibly long answer but TL;DR: only you’ll know for sure, but it sounds to me like a potential attraction to men is worth exploring for you! so be gentle & patient w urself but whatevr conclusion u come to will be good. and ALSO u can always change ur mind!!!! theres not a max amount of identities u can have, u can change and rethink whenever. best of luck to u!!!!

[kirishwima]

RFA + minor trio (or duo, if you don’t wanna do Vand.) with an foreign MC who always keeps at least 3 knives on them at all times. And knows how to handle guns. And is overall just badass

ooo im just imagining a badass Black Widow-esque MC lol, i love it! I love even more how there's no explanation as to how or why they know how to handle guns and knives, even better 😆

YOOSUNG:

* Baby boy is SPOOKED

* MC is so sweet, gentle and patient with him...he never once thought of them as anything less than an innocent angel

* Yet one night they're lounging around at his apartment, when there's a loud thud from the other room that startles them both

* Yoosung's scared, sure, but he tries to gulp down his fear, ready to protect MC if need be-that's what a good boyfriend should do afterall!

* Well...or not, seeing how MC is already up from the couch with a knfie in each hand-where did those even come from?! Already taking cautious steps towards the door the thud came from

* They kick the door open with their leg, brandishing their knives when they check the perimeter, realising it's just a box with trinkets that fell from the edge it sat on

* Yoosung has...a lot of questions

*But well, MC turns and looks at him with their usual sweet expression and he just swallows down any comments he had. Why ask what doesn't need to be answered?

* From now on he's always cowering behind MC when something spooks him, and threatens Zen or Seven with MC when they tease him

ZEN:

* He got a new role as the villain that shoots the hero at the final scene-the director asked him to use a real gun but without any bullets inside to 'make it more realistic', or so he said

* Well, Zen has never even held a gun before; no just because he rode a motorcycle doesnt mean he was some gangster that shot up banks, like Seven insists he must've

* So when he comes home baffled, flopping down on the couch besides MC, they of course ask him what's wrong, why he's frowning the way he did.

* When he explains what's wrong, MC shrugs. 'That's all? I can teach you' they say, and shoot up from the couch, leaving Zen to stare at their retreating figure with wide eyes.

* MC...would teach him how to use a gun? Sure they were really cool and he could tell they feared near next to nothing, but guns...?

* Well, he's even more baffled when MC comes out of their bedroom with a gun in each hand, twirling them around their fingers with practices ease

* 'Come on, get up' they say and not to the backdoor, 'we're going to learn how to shoot-without bullets though, because while I love you, I don't trust you with a loaded gun just yet' they add with a teasing smirk.

* Well, Zen follows along like a wobbly noodle, his hands shaking as MC hands him a pistol, guiding him through to the correct stance and hold of it. He has so, so many questions, but none of them come out, lodged in his throat like a fish bone.

* He can't say he hates this though-the way MC stands behind him, leaning one leg between his to bend his knees, how they wrap their hands around his forearms, snaking from behind his back as they hold the gun together, MC's voice breathy beside his ear.

* "Baby...be honest with me. Are you some secret foreign spy or something?"

* MC laughs, soft and devious and like music to Zen's ears.

* "That's for me to know and for you to find out" they say with a teasing wink, their accent thicker than usual, and oh boy-if Zen has a Beast inside him, then MC has a whole darn savage garden, and he's more than eager to unleash it.

JAEHEE:

* She notices bits and pieces of MC that puzzle her; their hyper-alertness to the tiniest sound, their stance-tall, proud, always ready to pounce like an alpha predator, how they'll hide Jaehee behind them at the slightest sign of danger; Jaehee figured MC was just a very cautious person, but realises soon enough that there must be something more than that happening.

* She finds out when, one day, a group of raggedy looking men come into their cafe, the one leading the pack wearing sunglasses and a cap as if to remain anonymous, speaking loudly in a different language Jaehee couldn't quite pin-point, but figured it mist be Slavic.

* She didn't pay any mind-MC was up front as the cashier today, and Jaehee was in the back preparing drinks, so she wouldn't be the one dealing with them. She did however flash the group a smile as their attention shifted to her, swiftly going back to her work.

* She heard them mutter something amongst themselves with a sly laugh, but again, she couldn't know what they were saying, so she kept her attention still on the espresso machine, watching the beans slowly get grounded into fine dust.

* Well, MC apparently more than understood what the men said-with a thud they tugged the leader-dude's shirt by the collar, bringng him inches away from their face, their mouth forming a vicious snarl as they said something to him in a low growly voice, and surprisingly, in the same language as the men spoke.

* MC let the man go with a final push away from the counter, taking pride in the way he stumbled back, his mouth agape; he immediatly nodded to his lackies who all run right behind him and straight out the door, much to Jaehee's shock.

* "MC...what just-"

"They commented on your body. I said that you're under my protection, so they shouldn't even look your way like that again." MC supplied, and with a shrug went back to their usual customer service smile.

* Jaehee didn't ask what 'under my protection' meant for MC-she was just secretly happy for her brave, badass partner.

JUMIN:

* He's very observant-and he can see crystal clear that there’s more to MC than meets the eye.

* He loves them-of course he does, and their mystique aura makes them all the more alluring to him, from the thick accent that rolls of their tongue, to their confident strut as they walk down the street, to the knives strapped on their thighs....

* Wait. Wait wait, KNIVES?!

* He notices them the first time when they’re walking downtown with MC, their bodyguards merely a few feet behind, when some crazed fangirl ran up to the couple, screaming incoherencies at Jumin’s face.

* The bodyguards were quick to act, running straight ahead and taking the fangirl away from the pair, but Jumin’s eyes are razor sharp; he didn’t miss the way MC’s hand calmly went to the slit of their flowy summer dress, dragging the hem a little higher, the flash of metal peeking off of their thigh tight on a garter.

* He doesn’t mention it straight away, but later on, at dinner, he calmly asks if MC is currently armed, and MC nonchalantly answers ‘Yea, always’, while taking a sip of their wine.

* He hums in agreement, nodding slow as he processes their reply. “What are you armed with?”

* MC smirks, leaning closer across the table, a cat-like curiosity in their gaze. “Knives, sometimes a gun, my dashing good looks-you name it and I probably have it on my person.”

* Jumin smiles. “I’m glad you take your safety this seriously my love. It makes me feel safe to know you can protect yourself if the need arises.”

* The conversation ends at that, the pair going back to their casual conversation...but not before Jumin takes a sip of his wine, eyes fluttering shut before they open again, piercing and staring right to MC with pupils blown wide.

* “I suppose I’ll have to carefully examine just what weapons it is you have on you. For your own safety, of course.”

* And well, MC ain’t about to say no to that lmao

SEVEN/SAEYOUNG:

* Hoo boy

* He’s already curious when his background check on MC brings back pretty much nothing, except their upbringing in a foreign country, and an overall normal-seeming facebook account.

* But Seven’s not satisfied. Nobody’s background is that clean. Nobody’s. So he digs more, more, more, yet still there’s nothing, and his curiosity is peaqued, his eyes narrowed as he looks to the cameras in Rika’s apartment, seeing MC nonchalantly lounge on the couch, playing on their phone.

* “I’ll find out just what it is you’re hiding” he vows, ignoring the flush of his cheeks as MC looks up to the camera with a cheeky smile, knowing exactly what it is they’re doing.

* He finds out just what it is that interested him so in MC when he dashes to the apartment, seeing MC struggle with a man who could only be the hacker, broken glass pieces at their feet from the broken window.

* He’s about to step in, tackle the man to the ground and protect MC-only he doesn’t have to. MC takes the man down in a swift movement, using their smaller frame to the man to sneak behind him and kick his shins, tumbling him down and stradling his chest to keep him in place, despite the glass chunks that are probably digging into the hacker’s back.

* More so, they pull up their skirt, bringing a knife up from the hilt, bringing it to the man’s throat with a warning growl.

* Seven...has no idea what he’s doing there, other than just staring at the two people in front of him, not until the security system’s activated and targets the hacker, who flees without so much as a word to Seven.

* “I uh. I see you had it all under control” he says with a stutter, his eyes wide. MC stands up, wiping gunk and blood off of their cheek as they turn to Seven with a grin. “Sure did, but I could always use some extra help” they tell him and oh boy. Oh fuck his life, Seven’s hooked around this person’s sharp, bloody little finger.

* He doesn’t want to scout them into his agency, because he doesn’t want this sort of life for MC-but he will ask for their assistance with missions sometimes, konwing they can more than take care of themselves when the need arises.

* Just a badass but also memey couple really lol

V/JIHYUN:

* After his first unsuccesful attempt to save MC from Rika, he’s worried how MC will fare until he comes to their rescue, if they’ll be hurt in their attempt to escape.

* Well...whatever he was expecting, he certaintly did not expect this.

* He didn’t expect to come back to the cult, only to find MC already roundhouse kicking a vial of elixir from Ray’s hands, kicking it into the ground and pummeling straight into Ray to bring him down before he could attack her, then moving straight to the rest of the Believers, fighting 4-on-1 with so much ease it looked almost like a scene out of a video game.

* V’s lost for a moment before MC turns to him, wiping sweat off their brow as he looks on in confusion. “What the hell are you doing?” they ask, grabbing his hand as they tug him along, “we have to go! Come on!”

* Seven’s skills were pretty much unecessary in their escape lmao, but he’s still glad he tagged along to help the pair escape.

* When in the safety of the faraway cabin, and without anyone having to actually take the elixir this time, V sits dumbfounded, looking to MC like they’re some sort of vicious god.

* “How-how did you do all of that? You just-” he remembers the ease they fought men twice their size off, how they even pulled a knife on one to intimidate him before he could so much as raise a finger to hurt V. “You’re so...strong” he decides, lost for words.

* MC shrugs. “I just do a lot of upper body exercises at the gym. And TRX. It’s good strength training.”

* Honestly....V’s route flows so much easier with this badass MC by his side lol. Rika doesn’t stand a chance to hurt anyone with MC here.

RAY/SAERAN/UNKNOWN:

* Their skills were not, in fact, why he chose MC as his tester. He didn’t even really know about any of their badassery, only that they grew up in a foreign country, and could speak multiple languages, which he found interesting, sure, but unecessary.

* He was thrilled at their kind nature, but also a little aprehensive. He knows no usual person would just up and walk into a van with a driver that blindfolded them to take them to an unkown location. What secrets could MC be hiding? He wanted nothing more than to find out.

* Well, he finds out soon enough. Or rather, Saeran does-when his agressiveness kicks in, when he tries to tackle MC to the ground and hold them in place, show them he’s superior...well, he doesn’t get the chance to.

* MC frowns at him as he tries to push them to the wall, taking his hand and holding it in a bruising-tight hold, swiftly moving behind him and bringing his hand to his back, the cracking sound of his shoulder alerting him he’s most certaintly going to feel that for the next few days.

* “You don’t get to touch me as you please” MC whispers in his ear before letting him go, seeing the way he stumbles a few steps ahead before regaining his balance.

* MC is still kind and tries to help him become the kind person they met in the begining of their arrival here, but won’t take Saeran’s shit under any circumstances. Instead they fight back tooth and nail, showing him all they got when he tries to push them around.

* This also makes escaping the cult with Saeran that much easier-they fight through hoards of Believers like they were paper-light, MC even grabbing a pistol off of one of them and firing scarily precise warning shots at just the right places to scare them all off.

* Welp, mark down Saeran as scared *and* horny lmao

VANDERWOOD:

* He met MC through their escape attempt with V and Seven, and hoo boy-HOO BOY.

* He sees their agility, their swift movements and the way they handle a knife like it was but an extension of their hand, and he’s head over heels in an instant.

* He keeps trying to scout them into the agency, promising them riches, but MC laughs at his offer with a roll of their eyes, refusing every time.

* Once, when he asks MC to join, they lean close to him, bringing a finger under his chin as they tilt his face to meet theirs. “Why don’t you join me instead?” they purr, and at that moment, Vanderwood is putty under their hands.

* He’d follow this badass person to the ends of the world, agency be damned.

* He does ask them to team up with him for some missions, secretly from the agency, and is pleased with the results, noting how quickly and efficiently the two work as a team.

* They’re literally the most badass couple in existence hoooly shit lol

-Send me mystic messenger headcanons/prompts for character reactions!-

[cooperfm]

          hello  beautiful  people  !  lenny  here  (  23  ,  she  /  her  ,  mst  )  and  i’m  so  excited  to  be  here  !  i’ve  been  really  missing  my  boy  cooper  ,  and  this  group  really  felt  like  such  a  good  fit  for  him  .  i  cannot  wait  to  introduce  him  to  you  and  meet  all  of  you  !  everything  you  need  to  know  about  him  can  be  find  right  below  the  cut  ,  and  if  you  like  what  you  see  just  click  that  heart  or  slide  into  my  dms  and  we  can  plot  !  my  tumblr  ims  are  open  ,  or  you  can  reach  me  via  dis  of  the  cord @  *  ɪ'ᴍ ᴀ ʟᴏɴᴇʟʏ 𝒃𝒊𝒕𝒄𝒉 .#3088

did you just see cooper averton walking down fifth avenue ? the twenty three year old, singer / songwriter has been living in the nyc for five years and has a net worth of $124mill & 28.5m followers on instagram. some say they tend to be quite charming , but also reticent . however, they seem to enjoy posting about fingers adorned with silver rings , missed calls from california , lyrics scribbled in a rush on their social media. ( austin butler  ✕   he / him   ✕   cis male )   &   ( lenny  ✕   23  ✕   she / her  ✕   mst )

*  /  𝑻𝑯𝑬  𝑩𝑨𝑺𝑰𝑪𝑺  :

full  name  :  cooper jonathon averton

nicknames  :  coop , cj , c.jave

age  /  birthdate  :  twenty3 / june 27 , 1996

gender  /  pronouns  :  cis male / he , him

sexuality  :  pansexual

hometown  :  bel air , california

occupation  :  singer , songwriter

*  /  𝑻𝑯𝑬  𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫  :  (  tw : mention of drugs , addiction , overdose  )

so i have a full bio written up for cooper , which you can find here — fair warning , it’s a novel because i tend to ramble and cooper has a fairly elaborate history . but below will be my attempt at the cliff notes of his story , though i can almost guarantee it may still get out of hand because i , like jenna marbles , have a too much gene and i can’t control it !!!

cooper was born in bel air , california , and i know you know what that means — the silver spoon was shoved right into his mouth from the get go . mr averton was a well - known and reputable lawyer , so money was far from an issue for the family . the only issue was upholding their reputation and the family legacy .

being the eldest child , cooper was immediately expected to be the one to follow in his father’s footsteps and take control of the firm . except young cooper turned out to be far from lawyer - material . he was sweet , outgoing , and a little weak - willed — and thus , the family disappointment .

long story short , coop was the black sheep of the averton family . he stretched to reach the high expectations of his family , particularly his demanding father — but always seemed to fall short . cue the daddy issues .

cooper’s peers took advantage of his kind , personable nature in order to rise to gain their own popularity . he eventually caught on to his fake friends when he caught his girlfriend cheating with his best friend , and he sorta spiralled . loneliness and rejection are his greatest fears and he couldn’t swallow losing everyone around him , so he swallowed his pride and just kept letting people take advantage of him — all while burying himself in bel air’s partying scene .

that is where his addiction started , the drugs numbing him in a way nothing else could — well , aside from music . his creative streak was just another thing that differed him from his family and cooper embraced it . he always loved the way music made him feel , strumming a guitar or humming a lyric . he had two loves in his life : drugs and music .

following high school graduation , cooper’s parents were pushing him towards college , crossing their fingers that their son would find his way back from his little detour in life . but cooper had a different route in mind for himself — he wanted to pursue his passion for music . this obviously did not sit well with his parents , who couldn’t fathom how their rockstar son would further tarnish their pristine reputation as bel air’s finest . tensions rose in the averton mansion until they finally exploded one night , leaving cooper to pack his bags and leave the place he had called home for eighteen years .

being eighteen , cooper had full access to his trust fund and he booked a one way ticket to new york city , eager to put as much distance as he could between himself and his family . he didn’t want to solely live off of his parents’ money though , so he began busking and bartending to pay for his little apartment .

cooper could have easily bought his way to the top , to the career he dreamt of , but he wanted to earn it , to know that his talent was what pushed him to success . so he played on the streets , in as many bars that would let him , and uploaded his music online until he finally caught the attention of a rising record label .

his career generally follows that of his claim , sir sly , except his first single was released in 2017 . i’ll be working on a general timeline for his career , but he’s been active since 2017 and just released his newest single “ all your love ” !

last year , cooper ended up in rehab after a near - fatal overdose while touring . he went off the grid for three months until returning in the fall a brighter version of himself . it seemed to have done him good , except he eventually fell off the wagon after a few too many nights back in his usual clubs . that’s all on the downlow though , not many know he’s back to using and he’s careful to only be caught with a drink in his hand .

he’s also slowly reconnected with his family since his teens . they still don’t love his lifestyle choices , but there’s still the random phone call every now and then .

** i don’t know where else to weave this in , but his stage name is c.jave — sort of a little alias for him so he wasn’t leaning on the averton name .

*  /  𝑻𝑯𝑬  𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑬𝑹  :

label(s)  :  the maverick , the benevolent , the contingent ,

traits  :  charming , reclusive , diligent , trusting , loyal , naive , addictive , creative , short - tempered , obsessive 

aesthetics  :  fingers adorned with silver rings , a journal bound in leather , missed calls from california , shirt sleeves pushed up to elbows , lyrics scribbled in a rush , cigarette smoke curling from parted lips , broken guitar strings

personality wise , cooper’s a walking enigma . at first glance , he’s quiet , mysterious , and a little intimidating . his resting “ don’t fuck with me ” face can put most off , and he’s unlikely to make the first move with strangers — unless he has something in his bloodstream .

give him a few drinks ( or pills ) though , and cooper can become the life of the party . he honestly just loves to have fun and enjoy his freedom in nyc . he’s a well - known face at the bars and is often photographed stumbling home to his loft apartment in times square .

his walls are unfortunately let down a little too quickly for his own good though . even though it’s fucked him over in the past , he trusts too easily and wants to believe in the best of everyone . he’s quite charming and sweet so he can easily win over most , but those cold - blooded enough find it easy to take advantage of him and his generosity .

once you earn his trust , cooper while fight tooth and nail for you . he’s fiercely loyal , catch him throwing hands at anyone who tries to mess with his friends .

he’s also a major gentleman . manners were ingrained in him from the start , so he’ll open doors for strangers , text you to make sure you got home safe , and offer help with anything you need .

this isn’t a major thing , but i wanted to include it , but he’s a really great conversationalist . he’s just so curious , so he listens really well , and is so intelligent and well - thought that any conversation can twist into some deep , philosophical exchange if you’re not careful with him .

oh and — his look is current austin : the short , dark brown hair — v elvis of him . he had the original long , blond hair for a good few years but cut it shortly after rehab for a “ fresh start ” or some bullshit .

*  /  𝑻𝑯𝑬  𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺  :

i truly want anything and everything plot wise for coop . i’m down to brainstorm , fill wanted connections , and / or work off of chemistry ! but i’ll list a few ideas that come to mind rn :

first nyc friends . he’s been here since 2015 and sorta bounced all over the place . i would love a roomie from back in the day in coop’s old , run down apartment , some og party buddies ?

exes ! he’s openly pansexual , so this is open to any . please break his heart ( sir sly has a song about a cheating ex soo 👀  )

friends with benefits , random hookups . drunken one night stands !

writing partners ? cooper writes all of his own music and also writes for other artists .

bromances . partners in crime . brother / sister friendship !

neighbours ?? cooper lives on his own in a really beautiful loft apartment , but i’d love a neighbour in the building or something !

flirtationship or cute crush !!!

[artnerd1123]

it’s about that time again, ain’t it? 

i started seeing these pop up on my dash, so i figured i’d do another one for this year. lots of fun stuff happenin, eh? i definitely had fun playing with lighting X3 also, may had wayyy too many good ones to pick from. might wanna go check out my art blog, if ur curious abt what that month looked like lskdfjsl this year was super super good for my art!!! im v v happy to see how far i’ve come ;w;

gonna stick some end-of-year rambling undercut, bc i wanna talk n don’t wanna clog up dashes. hope y’all have a happy new year! im so proud of y’all for sticking it through!!!

so... i’m not gonna lie, this year has been a ride. there’s been really high highs, and crushingly low lows. my mental health was on the fritz pretty much the entire year. a lot’s happened. and i’ve definitely seen plenty of growth. 

my year at a glance was full of activity. I went into my last semester of high school, which was both stressful (see: ap exams, college setup, and my own mental health/personal issues) and a load of fun (see: senior prom, choir events, and having a blast with my friends). in the summer, i started my first job at an amusement park. it was going well, and even though the end of the year was crazy, i was feeling good. and then i ended up losing someone close to me while i was on a vacation. while the scenery was beautiful, my mental state was... not so great. and it continued to rock and roll like waves on the ocean in the months following. grief isn’t easy to handle. but i was trying. though it was physically painful some days, college was right around the corner. gotta keep your head in the game. even if your head is also full of horrible depression and anxiety. fun stuff, ammirite?  speaking of college, i started and finished my first semester! it was a whirlwind of getting used to college life, figuring out how campus worked, and settling in. classes got me to focus on other things, and building in a routine kept me from slipping too far on my bad days. i also made some new friends. and even found someone who’s more than a friend. i’m eternally grateful for her and all that we’ve been through. even if it hasn’t been super super long, in the grand scheme of things. taking the bad times at college into account, it’s still been absolutely wonderful.  and winter break? eh. it’s been super super chill. i’ve done nothing for like, 2 weeks, and it’s been absolutely wonderful. 

all this aside... college gave me a ton of time to reflect and work on myself. it might’ve only been 3-4 months of time, but it was vital. i grew a lot. learned about myself. figured out that sometimes, people do things you’re not gonna understand. and that’s okay. you just gotta focus on yourself, what you can do, and how you can grow. you gotta figure out how to become a better person with what life gives you. be gentle. be kind. and don’t get bitter at everything. just cultivate what makes you happy. try and trust the ones you hold dear. most importantly, reach out when you need help. please. it does so much more than you think. 

just... take a breath, guys. you’re gonna be ok. you just gotta be present as much as you can, so you don’t miss the nice things that are coming. 

gotta say, 2019... there are parts of you i’m really gonna miss. and there are parts of you that i’m glad are buried in the past. but all in all? i’m glad to have made it through. 

i’m gonna try and make the next year a good one 🖤

[ask-de-writer]

DARING DO and the ADVENTURE of the X'IBIAN VASE! : MLP Fan Fiction : Part 4 of 21

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DARING DO and the

ADVENTURE of the X'IBIAN VASE!

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck) @ask-de-writer​

And

Carmen Pondiego @askcarmenpondiego​

Cover Art by

Doctor Dimension

52630 words

© 2020 by Glen Ten-Eyck

Writing begun 08/26/15

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

//////////////

Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may reblog the story.  They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions, provided that such things are done without charge.  I will allow those who do commission art works to charge for their images.  

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fictions is actively encouraged.

///////////////////////

Horsetense looked up from reading a romance novel, to judge by the cover art.  Smiling, she replied, “I really did not expect to see you again, after yesterday’s little upsets!  Here, let me send it up!”

She took Daring Do’s envelope and put it into a vacuum cartridge and dropped it into a tube.  With a whoosh, it was gone.  In a few minutes there was a whoosh and clunk as a cartridge returned.  It held a copy of the original document and a note:

“This is the ONLY acceptable agreement.  We will not back you at all if you do not sign!

Isa Robber

Mystic Overthrow

Crule Tyranny”

Reading the note, Daring smiled and wrote across the Document in deep soaking indelible marker, “These terms are the sort of toxic trash that the composting facilities will refuse!  I do too!  Find another sucker!  D.D.”

Horsetense looked sour as she returned the document with a clack and whoosh.  She observed, “The Partners won’t like that!”

Daring Do patted her hoof and replied, “They don’t seem to like anything that is honest.  I hope that you find a better position than this one soon.”

She turned on her hoof and was leaving when the system did its whoosh-clack.  The note in it said:

“Our generous offer is withdrawn.

Good luck in your year long wait to sell your latest major find to the Royal Museum! R.O.T.”

Daring Do smiled serenely, showed the receptionist the note and told Horsetense, “See this? You might find the noon news amusing!”

She sauntered out, the note safely in her saddle bag.

She was about to return to the Adventurer’s Guild for a nice luncheon when her brows drew down in a V of concentration.  Not only the waiter’s news but many other things began to fall out of their accustomed places, making a mess of her orderly mind.

It was a feeling that she knew well.  It had led her to almost all of past expeditions.  When things are not as they should be, the first stop is the Royal Library.

As she climbed the steps, she admired the allegorical carving of the doors.  The sun and moon arising together over the field of knowledge.  The doors, obeying an ancient spell, opened impressively for her.

Inside, she was greeted by the wonderful odor of books, scrolls, manuscripts, codices of many sorts. This was the scent of her true heart.  

Lurking in the overall scent, was the recent addition of fire proofing and extinguishing spells. They were a wise precaution whose necessity was shown by the Golden Oak Library disaster of Ponyville.  Some still wondered how one of the most magically powerful beings of Equestria, Twilight Sparkle, could have forgotten something so basic as fire suppression spells, just when she most needed them.  That, however, was not germane to her visit.

She walked up to the research desk and presented her Royal Pass, personally sealed by both Luna and Celestia.  “I need full access to the Closed and Sealed Stacks, please,” she smiled at the young librarian.

Wide eyed, after staring at the pass, she turned and almost galloped to a Senior Librarian.  She whispered, pointing back at Daring Do.

The senior came over and asked, “Reason for your visit, Antiquarian Do?”

“I have come across some discrepancies in research concerning the ancient X'ibian Empire.  I already know, from previous work here, that the answers are not to be found in the ordinary open or closed stacks.”

The senior took Daring Do’s pass and inserted it into a spell reader.  It chimed.  The four nearest Closed Research Stacks simply faded away leaving a huge pair of doors appearing to be iron bound ancient oak.  Daring Do was not deceived. She knew that the reality behind the glamor spell was four tonne Military Armor Grade steel, sealed from forced entry or exit.  She also knew that there were excellent reasons for being sealed against both!  This was not a library for the faint of heart!

Resuming her pass, she asked, “May I have Apprentice Librarian Blendin to assist my studies, please?  He and I have worked together before this.  I have found him to be an excellent assistant.”

Before setting the opening spell, the Senior Librarian made a note and called over a Magic Net system, “Apprentice Librarian Blendin to the Canterlot Main Doors, please.”

It took a few minutes before the signal that he was present lit.  The Senior Librarian tapped the opening spell.  The great doors did not swing or retract, as one might expect.  They became a thin seeming vapor.

Daring Do trotted through it without any problem.  She smiled at her half brother and said, “We have a fun one!  The Heart of Discord not only might be real, it might even be something that belongs here or in the Warehouse!”

Blendin’s brows shot up.  “I would be laughing right now, Sis, if it was anypony but you who said that.  What brings this on?”

Daring Do snickered and replied, “Disorder in what I thought I knew and a conversation with somepony from an organiation that I ran into while searching for the Darkling’s Tomb.”

Showing a side that was rarely seen when he was off work, Blendin promptly asked, “The Ancient Guardians?”

“Exactly.  One told me today that they lost the location of Im Farst’s tomb during the Chineighese invasions of a thousand years ago.  In short, THEY are certain that the Heart of Discord is there.  They just don’t know any longer, where, exactly.”

Blendin’s eyes got a far-away look to them as he dug through the encyclopedic knowledge that even an Apprentice Librarian needed.

“Where do you want to start, Sis?”

“At the beginning.  With the death and funeral of Im Farst.”

Blendin nodded briskly.  “That is easy, then.  There are only three contemporary documents of it. They are followed by the wall painting but it is later.  It will take a few to access them.  Are you willing to use a Twilight Closed Reading spell to keep from disturbing the actual documents.  They are very fragile.”

“If you recommend it, Blendin, yes.  What are they?”

“One is an actual scroll painting on lotus root paper.  It is likely the most delicate.  It is a traditional Xibian landscape with a weeping dragon and a eulogy to Im Farst.  The eulogy is signed Wisdom.  The other two are thin sliced bamboo fold books, both with fire damage.”

He actually went to an OLD physical card file and leafed gently.  Puzzled, he checked again.  “I wonder how long ago this happened?” he inquired of empty air. “There are FOUR things here.  I found two cards stuck together.  I will have to speak to a Senior Librarian about that.”

Daring Do overheard him and looked up from her magically generated pages of perfectly duplicated documents.  They WERE fascinating in their own right.

“What did you find, Blendin?”

“A carved stone inventory made at the time of interment.  It is cracked across but otherwise intact. I assume that you want it?”

“Absolutely!  Also, any provenance or location of finding!  Not only the stone, but everything known of it!”

Blendin smiled sadly and gave her a thin file.  “The stone was found in a Chineighese open air market about eight hundred years ago and given into Royal Care.  Not much help there.”

He did develop the copy spell, giving Daring Do all of the visible surfaces of the stone, top, thin sides and back.

Daring Do began to scan the stone, her brows knitting now and again as she found and solved an ideogram that was new to her.  She pulled out a magnifier for much of it.  The ancient engraving was surprisingly small and tightly compacted.

Blendin watched his half sister’s reading with awe.  “How can you do that, Sis?  I know at least a hundred scholars of Ancient X'ibian and not one of them can just snap out the meaning of a new ideogram like that!”

She looked up for a moment. “It’s really not too hard, Blendin.  The construction of ancient X'ibian ideograms follows a rigidly logical system from about a hundred bases.  Once you know those, the rest follows, except for bad handwriting, of course.”  She grinned.  “That is nothing new at all.”

Blendin nodded agreement and then brightened up.  “I need to do an advancement paper in the Library.  Mind if I take that tip and develop it?”

Absently muttering, “Be my guest,” Daring Do returned to her study.

“Pardon, Sis.  I need more space for you.”  Blendin grabbed the end of the Library table and pulled.  It stretched out another three meters, growing extra legs as it did so.

Daring Do raised her eyebrows as she watched.  “Handy trick, that!”

“You know it, Sis.  I needed the space to set out the more modern works, you know, from four hundred PNW to the End of Exile.”

“Four hundred Post Nightmare Wars?  Nothing earlier?”

“According to the Master Index, nope.  A long dry spell there.  Then the liter-ature explodes.  All the mystical shit and such.”

She nodded and returned to deciphering the fold books and the painting.  She was nearly done with the painting when she asked, “Can I get modern paper copies of these old documents?  I just spotted something curious.”

“Not a problem, Sis.  I will do a contagion duplication on them.  You will be able to take those copies if they pass the Security of Information checks.  I did not bother looking at that info when I set them up for you.”

Blendin was systematically setting out the later documents by date when he stopped cold.  

“This makes no sense at all, Sis.  Check me on this.  When Im Farst was buried in his hidden tomb there was no trace of the Heart of Discord.  

“Then, IN EQUESTRIA, the tales of the Heart of Discord begin to show up in print about four hundred PNW.  The wall painting that is the only known documentation of it was not found until 653 PNW.  

“It gets worse.  The tomb that the painting is in dates quite exactly.  It was made 150 years after the death of Im Farst but not found until 653 PNW.”

Daring Do stared at Blendin’s work in rising excitement.

“It makes perfect sense after all!  Who was the wife of Im Farst?”

Blendin actually took time to consult the Index again.  “Her name was Wisdom.  Legend says that she was a dragon.  How does that make any sense at all?”

Daring Do took a sheet of paper and a writing brush.  Inking it professionally, she wrote a character.

“First, remember that there were no male or female names in ancient X'ibian.  This thing called a SHI was added to a surname or single name to indicate female and left off for male names!  It was silent in ancient X'ibian.

“Now look at this!”  She quickly drew another character.  “That is the ancient character for Wisdom.  This one is Discord, the Dragonequis.  Add a Shi to Discord and what do you see?”

Blendin stared at the two characters in consternation.  “Wisdom!  Discord with a Shi and Wisdom look the same!”

“Right!  Im Farst really was married to a dragon.  Eris, the female form of Discord.  

“The Vase of Wisdom is in all of these inventories!  A hundred and fifty years later, on a tomb wall, the vase was named without the Shi and the Heart of Discord was born!”

Blendin looked carefully at his time-line of publications and written down tales.  He thoughtfully accessed the Index again.

He added a whole selection of more material from the Last Nightmare War onward.  

Softly, he said, “Here she is. It all begins with the Tales of Aleax the Blind.  This dates to only 115 PNW.  Eris, the Dragonequis, is asked if ever she knew love.  Her reply is, ‘In a land far to the East, I left my love a vase that I made.  I left my Heart in his tomb.  Im Farst was his name.’  She shed a few tears and asked what reward was wanted for bringing her that memory.”

Daring Do sadly offered, “That explains so much.  Blendin, I need these inventories, including the stone’s upper surface and that landscape painting with the Im Farst eulogy on it.”

Blendin went to the Index and lifted a very modern Magic Net mirror up from a concealed pocket.  He tapped codes and looked carefully at the results.  Grinning, he tapped a whole set of new codes.

“They will accept my paper on the reading of Ancient X'ibian ideograms!  They also cleared modern paper copies of the things you asked for.  They are now locked to the papers that they are on.  Feel free to take them, Sis!”

Returning, Daring Do saw the enormous steel doors simply go to mist again.  She paused long enough to say, “Best of fortune on the paper, Blendin.  It is going to keep you busy, I promise it.”

With a grin, he replied, “I know, Sis.  I do know.  Thanks for the tip.”

Daring Do walked out to the Research Desk and Logged out, showing her copies to the Senior Librarian.  There was no sign behind her of the massive secret doors. Just the ordinary closed stacks.

If Daring Do was walking like nothing of any importance had changed, her mind was racing!  It WAS real!  The Vase, the Heart of ERIS, rather than Discord, was there. The tomb of Im Farst was a fact!

She was pretty sure how to find it too!  That, she had failed to mention to her half brother, Blendin.  Best not to give any possible rumor a root to grow.

Ensconced in the Adventurer’s Guild’s secure communication room, Daring Do tapped up codes on the Secure Magic Net Mirror there.  She was greeted by the surly face of Count Umber.  He still had a plaster on the bruise over his right eye from their earlier altercation.  He reached to cut off the call.

With a smile that could have flash frozen a polar bear, Daring Do said serenely, “Please do, Count.  Princess Luna audits all incoming calls.  When she finds that you cut off a Private Antiquities Emergency call, you will be in so much hot water that you will be lucky to retain your County.  Luna herself gave me this code after the debacle of the Golden Necklace of Pharow Underrock.”

Putting the knife in deeper and twisting, she added, “That was at the same time that she gave you your present work.  It is amazing how much better the Museum Acquisition Policy has become.  I have already been paid for the balance of the Pharow Underrock Collection.”

With a growl that would have done credit to hungry bear, Count Umber put her through.  Princess Luna was sitting in a bath up to her withers, gently fanning her wings in the warm water.  There was a squadron of blue bath duckies hidden by lumps of bubble foam.  They were preparing to ambush a similar squadron of yellow bath duckies.

She looked up from her bath game and said, “What is the problem with the Underrock Collection? Umber has noted that you are calling about it.”

“With due respect, your Highness, he is absolutely wrong.  I am calling about a thing connected to the legal firm of R.O.T.”

Princess Luna sat up suddenly, water cascading off her shoulders.  “COUNT UMBER!  GET OFF THIS LINE!  ALL CALLS ON THIS CODE GROUP ARE ABSOLUTELY PRIVATE!  You were given strict instructions about the call system.  YOU HAVE VIOLATED ONE OF THE MOST BASIC ONES!  We will discuss your position in Canterlot when this call is done!”

She tapped a few codes in her bathroom mirror.  “There.  The nuisance is removed.  By Royal Guards.  Now we are private.  What do you need to discuss?”

“R.O.T. is mounting an expedition to X'ibia, in the far desert regions of the Chineighese Empire.  They are searching for the Heart of Discord.  Their care with priceless antiquities  was shown during the break in at my University office.”

“There have been many expeditions to search for the Heart of Discord, Daring Do.  None has ever succeeded, lending much credence to the notion that it is legendary.  Why are you so concerned now?”

“Because, your Highness, today, doing research at the Great Library, I discovered that the Vase of Wisdom is perfectly real.  Wisdom was Im Farst’s wife, the Dragon Queen of ancient X'ibia.

“How well do you know the writing of that ancient land?”

“Excellently, my dear.  So, what you found is the connection between Eris now and Wisdom, the Dragon Queen then?”

“You do not seem surprised, your Highness.”

“Only saddened that it will arouse such heartbreaking memories in my friend.  We must tell her that the secret is out.  How much more do you know of this matter?”

“I believe that I know where Im Farst’s tomb is.  Wisdom painted a landscape with a weeping dragon and inscribed her eulogy to him.  I have a copy from the Library.  I am fairly sure that it shows the tomb’s hidden location.”

Luna sort of sank into her bath. “You are correct.  We must tell her.  Now.  Together.  I cried with her for many nights when he died.”

Stiffing up, Luna tapped some other codes to the mirror.

The call was answered by an amazingly lovely pony with one perfectly centered cyclops like eye. “ERIS, Inc.!  How may I direct your call please, Princess Luna?”

“Hello, Cy.  I hate to interrupt whatever Eris is doing but I have urgent news for her. Just tell her that Wisdom has been found.  She will know what I mean.”  

“Wisdom has been found.  I will tell her.”

Almost instantly, the mirror switched to show Eris, wearing the silken robes of the Chineighese. An eye as trained as Daring Do’s saw that they were in the style of ancient X'ibia.

There was a copy of the Wisdom Eulogy to Im Farst hung to the wall and both incense and tea being offered before it on an ornate, low table of black wood, richly inlaid with natural woods of many colors.

Eris asked mildly, “Luna, if it was any but you calling, I would have required them to wait.  What do you mean that Wisdom has been found?”

Daring Do spoke up.  “A Shi is supposed to be silent and only indicate gender.  A Shi added to Discord, the dragonequis, makes Eris, that is you.  It also turns the ideogram into Wisdom, the name that you used when you lived your life with Im Farst, whom I see that you still love.”

There was a small tear at Eris’ eye.  “That is true, all of it.  What do I need to know beyond the fact that you found it out?”

“The law firm of R.O.T. is mounting an expedition to X'ibia to locate the Heart of Discord.  Of course, THAT really is legendary, the result of twisting the words of Aleax the Blind to say that you left a Vase, your heart, in his tomb. That is where the legends of the Heart of Discord come from.

“Even with the trickery that they use, they have begun to set up the expedition.  R.O.T. could find the tomb.”

Eris said softly, “Their care with Antiquities is amply shown by the break in at your office.  I see.  What do you need from me?”

Daring Do smiled and replied, “Two sorts of things.  One is your permission to open the tomb and conserve the things in it.  The other is a little more personal. Anything that you can think of that might mess up the R.O.T. expedition and throw them off the trail.”

Eris began to smile hugely around her fang.  “Doctor Do, I know your reputation in detail.  I will trust you to open my love’s tomb and conserve all as well as it can be done.  Expect my document of permission within the hour.  Cy will deliver it in person.

“As for your other request, let us say that I will consider it favorably.

“Now, I have much to attend to, including letting my love know that you are coming.”  The mirror blanked.

Luna’s bath duckies were all joined into a large squadron, attacking the bath bubble foam furiously!  She looked up with a serious face.  “While you were talking to Eris, I set it up with my sister, Celestia.  We are putting your Expedition under the Royal Wing.  

“You mentioned being able to manage the cost.  You will not have to.  We will cover it all with letters of credit and passage permissions that are being prepared now.  Celestia has summoned the Chineighese Ambassador to prepare your documents for free travel and official assistance.  All the papers should arrive in a few hours.  They are addressed to you at the Adventurer’s Guild.”

“Thank you, your Highness.” Daring Do blanked the mirror and emerged from the room.  The waiter from this morning was there, tears in his eyes.  “Our long Guardianship is over.  We have heard from the most exalted one. Wisdom herself has put us at your disposal.  What then shall we do for you?”

Daring Do gave him a deep formal bow and replied, “We will need you still.  There are more than Im Farst to guard.  If you will come with me, I will show you what I mean.”

Deepest concern in his voice, brows drawn in honest worry, he asked, “What will become of Im Farst and all of his things?”

Daring Do replied honestly, “I do not know.  I will gather him and all of those things and they will be given to the Most Exalted Wisdom.  She will then decide what may be kept for study, placed in museums on display and what she will keep for her own.   All will be a gift of my Princesses to Wisdom. This plan has been made and will be kept.”

He needed no thought.  “This is the best that can be hoped for.  He will be reunited with Wisdom. May they find all the joy that can be between Mortal and the Dragon.”

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[muted-howl]

LFRP Mani Dellingr || Crystal DC/Balmung

☽ ☽ ☽ Basics  ☾ ☾ ☾

NAME: Mani Dellingr Age: 122 Cycles old GENDER: Non-binary SEXUALITY: Pan-romantic/Gray-asexual RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single SERVER: Balmung ☽ ☽ ☽ Physical Appearance  ☾ ☾ ☾ HAIR: Thin, Whispy white hair that reaches the small of their back. Upper part is tied up into a neat half-bun EYES: Glowing White moon-like irises with black sclera HEIGHT: 5 fulms and 3 ilms BUILD: Small, lithe and androgenous DISTINGUISHING MARKS: Gray Viera face-markings under the eyes, black moon-shaped facepaint and black winged paint above and under the eyes. White eyelashes. Black tribal tattoos on their upper arms COMMON ACCESSORIES: Moths clinging to their skirt, long withered cane strapped to their back or in their hands. Feathers dangling from their skirt. Vines climbing up their legs or arms at random times. A pouch full of seeds. 

☽ ☽ ☽ Personal   ☾ ☾ ☾ PROFESSION: Defender of the wood, Botanist, Wood whisperer, Serial Killer HOBBIES: Gardening, Defending the wood, Star-gazing, Sleeping, luring travelers, Counting grass, Swimming in swamps, Dancing in the moonlight LANGUAGES: Common(Fluent), Woodspeak(Fluent) RESIDENCE: A small hovel in the swamps FEARS: Nothing. All that could be taken from them, has.

☽ ☽ ☽ Relationships  ☾ ☾ ☾ PARENTS: ??? Both dead ??? OTHER RELATIVES: 2 Children/Nafmet(5)(Dead),Laumet(5)(Dead)

☽ ☽ ☽ Traits  ☾ ☾ ☾ extroverted / introverted / in between / contextual disorganized / organized / in between / contextual close minded / open-minded / in between / contextual calm / anxious / in between / contextual disagreeable / agreeable / in between / contextual cautious / reckless / in between / contextual patient / impatient / in between / contextual outspoken / reserved / in between / contextual leader / follower / in between / contextual empathetic / unemphatic / in between / contextual optimistic / pessimistic / in between / contextual traditional / modern / in between / contextual hard-working / lazy / in between / contextual cultured / un-cultured / in between / contextual loyal / disloyal / in between / contextual faithful / unfaithful / in between / contextual

☽ ☽ ☽ Additional Information/Hooks ☾ ☾ ☾

☼Keeper of the wood☼: Mani will protect the forest at any cost. Many bodies have been laid low at their feet for trampling even the smallest flower. When around them, be very very careful to not disrespect the wood in any form, lest you wish your life forfeited.

☼Viis of the First☼: Mani is a Viis of the first! However they know of the source, and after the return of the nightsky, they are increasingly curious about the world the Warrior of Darkness came from. They are actively looking for ways to go to the source! So if you have any ideas or connections for our characters that way, i’d be thrilled!

☼Notorious Killer☼: It’s said that deep in the swamps or on certain roads leading to it, travelers should avoid them at all costs. Waiting for them there is only death, and the bringer? A long eared shroud of white, with skin of ash and piercing glowing eyes. Many think this is a vengeful spirit or a hungry sineater. Are you brave enough to face it?

☼Necromancy☼: Mani is a talented necromancer, however rather than reanimating bodies by voidsent or other means similar to it, they allow their seeds to implant themselves into the host and grow throughout the body. Mani does not hide this ability and seem to call the flowers that grow through the body their children. Such a rare ability would be coveted, will you capture them by force? Will you approach them carefully and request their mentor ship?

☽ ☽ ☽ What I’m Looking For  ☾ ☾ ☾

Friends, Rivals, Romantic interests(Mani is Poly but i do not like RPing predetermined relationships, give me that slow burn!!!) Capture and release situations, Plots and more! I’m open to almost anything so feel free to come to me if you want to RP and we can figure something out!♥

☽ ☽ ☽ About the Player ☾ ☾ ☾

☼ I live on the west coast but my sleep schedule is pretty messed up sometimes so i can coordinate RP pretty easily

☼I have MAJOR anxiety about coming to bug people about RP. So if we RP and i don’t follow up, it’s not because I didn’t like you or your character, i just have anxiety and need a little push sometimes ;v;

☼I do NOT do ERP. I don’t have anything against people that do, in fact that’s fine, do your thing, have fun. It just isn’t for me. I don’t feel comfortable doing it so don’t ask or suggest it.

☽ ☽ ☽ How to Reach Me  ☾ ☾ ☾

Tumblr DMs

Discord: Boat Gremlin#1226

Or in game! Go ahead and add me if you want and we can talk about stuff in game! Im usually on Uhme Qhitah, X’ihyo Khoye, or Sulahn Da’assan

Tagging for signal boosting: @balmungrp @ffxiv-crystal-rp @ffxiv-balmung-rp@crystalxivrp @crystal-rp-ffxiv

[tayegi]

i feel like jk's ex gaslighted him and that's why he's so afraid of relationships - when he was in this original relationship i think she messed up his sense of reality so much that he doesn't want to give someone else the opportunity to manipulate him like that again. while i don't think she and oc are similar i think the jk's feeling the same stuff with oc rn as he did at the beginning of his relationship with his ex and that's why he was a total douche canoe when oc tried to confess (1/?)

Anonymous said:tbh jk is making me v mad, even though he was explicit from the beginning that he didn't want a relationship, because it seems like he's passing on his gaslighting trauma to oc now (if my theory is correct that his ex gaslighted him) with his conflicting actions. i think jk made his own set of new rules following that break up and the fact that oc is bringing those feelings back to him, effectively breaking his rules, resulted in him being such a douche canoe (2/?)

Anonymous said:unlike oc now, i think jk hasn't gotten the chance to confront his ex yet about the abusive aspect of their relationship so he projects his anger and hurt feelings onto other people that would want to date him. like his rxn towards oc was cruel but i think that cruelty stems from his desire to do that to his ex, to make her feel as small/powerless/defeated as he felt as a result of her gaslighting. idk just my thoughts, i hope this theory-crafting wasn't annoying for you Lu (3/3)

Anonymous said:i mean the last line of new rules is you’re getting over him so im gonna be optimistic ab

Anonymous said:hi thank u for writing us that quality smut. it seems to me that jk is in it for sex and companionship. but i do wonder why jk was so jealous of hobi and reader? im sorry if you’ve alr answered that before but bc y/n wants a romantic connection, i wonder who she’ll get it from if she reconciles with jk not ever being able to meet her romantic needs

Anonymous said:i think i'm gonna reread new rules again to get more perspective on this chapter's events; i totally understand what you're saying about JK, his fuckboi ways and the dismissal of platonic feelings, but my mind is used to that shift to romantic feelings in these kinds of stories so i wanna go back and analyze. your stories always get me so worked up :,( i sent asks last night that were probably annoying for you to read (if tumblr didn't eat them) so i'm going back IOT check myself for the future

Anonymous said:Did no one else pick up on jungkook being apparently good at skating on his date with hyejin? Whilst he was terrible at it with the OC...? That was the warning sign for me...

Anonymous said:Something definitely happened in Jungkook’s past for him to have that perspective on relationships. Loved the new chapter of NR, I want you to know that you’re an absolutely amazing writer💛

vickyyy97 said:Wow! The chapter had me on the edge of my seat! My heart was beating so fast! I really want to know the story between him and his ex girlfriend. What happened that made him not go into relationships? Why did he confess if he told her his views on relationships? So many questions! I think Jungkook is scared to go into relationships. Maybe they're not ready. Maybe they need to give their feelings more time. So excited for the time skip! Your writing is absolutely amazing! Take your time please! ❤

Anonymous said:You know the moment when she overheard that they went to skate on a date. I thought that maybe it not him but hyejin took him there? Or is it really him? Is it some kind of his plan? He doesn't want her to catch feeling for him? He is afraid that he hurts her? I'm being ridiculous, right?Then why does he need her to admit that she likes him as well?Oh, he wants her to like him as a good fuxk and a friend.Looking forward to the next chapter (no pressure.just saying.I'll wait as long as I have to)

Anonymous said:✨1// Hello! Silent follower here, hope youre doing well ☺️Just read the new nr update; i loved it and just wanted to share my thoughts hehe. I think of myself as a dense reader (not very good at analysing text 😥) so I’m not sure my interpretation is correct and i apologise if its not! Ahh where do i even begin? Overall i find your portrayal of hook up culture so skillful and accurate.

Anonymous said:✨2// I love the recurring portrayal of the ironic intricacies of hook up culture--the very conflicts and uncertainties people want to avoid when they engage in fwb. I also think your approach to this story and its characters is so raw and refreshing; its so smart the way you integrate some of jungkooks actions so that his thoughts and place in him and oc's relationship are blurred for the readers/oc! The confusion in a lot of your anons i think is a sign of how well youve done it 😅

Anonymous said:✨3// In terms of the whole jungkook-relationship-thing from this update.. jungkook's past relationship clearly affected his view on relationships/what they should be. Maybe he was led to believe that sexual activity should be enjoyed in platonic circumstances? maybe he believes that platonic relationships are stronger than romantic? Or maybe he simply only has platonic feelings for OC-

Anonymous said:✨4// -but is also really expressive/affectionate to his friends, causing her to see his actions as small confessions and eventually developing feelings herself? There r so many different possibilities i can think of but we'll never know until his past is revealed! I’m curious to see what happened. I could keep going abt the things I’m curious abt/love abt this fic & ur writing but this is getting so long kdsndj tysm for ur updates despite being so busy💕💕we rly appreciate all the work u put in!

Anonymous said:New rules is such a wonderful story& I definitely go back to reread each chapter and always end up finding something that makes me love this story more. Thank you for creating something amazing despite being so busy with real life. Also, with the ending of this update,is Jungkook's past relationship with his highschool girlfriend, maybe one of the reasons why he has these views on relationships, the way he does? Almost like a turning point for him, in some ways, to him being who he is now?

Anonymous said:Wasn’t expecting that ending for Chap 9 but I was still awed! That ending makes me want to reread all the chaps leading to the latest because I am guilty of reading them in rose colored glasses. This really makes me think on the amt of romantic undertones I perceived with JK and how false they were. I’m excited where NR is heading because this was unexpected yet in character with how you set the mc and JK from the beginning.

Here are more lovely reactions, theories, and thoughtful questions. I LOVE NEW RULES BOOKCLUB SO MUCH!!! THANK YOU MY LOVELIES

[metallikca]

Unabashedly me. Sorry for the length.

☆ Basics

• blond/rad hair shaved on the left, v fluff • misc eyes w/ long lashes • Freckles. a L l T h E f R eC k L e S • good cheekbones • smol glasses • ears off center • nose is mostly ok • makes lots of funny faces • smiles a lot • can be v blank at times if Im just chillin

♤ Differences from people I know

• raised pagan • un-schooled/fully parentally schooled • read adult romance novellas at 11yo • loves to learn about mushrooms • wants to be a bird>mainly albatross • spirit animal is a Mountain Goat • 13 yrs in Alaska as of this December • is registered as a Green Party voter • timbuk 3 • collects plants

♡ Similarities to most people I know

• likes winter • hot cocoa is fav • C O F F E E • food is good • Loves Germany !!! • !!! Supernatural !!! • Oh boy cute animals • v gay • v undecicive • smol bean

♧ Some random facts

• I hate summer, but love summer activities • Xmas makes me nostalgic as fuck • I cuss more than I should • SAILING • #violin-is(t)-life • Bookworm • winter is babe • rOaD tRiPs • 3 siblings, 1bro 2seesters • my mom is actually older than my dad

◇ More random facts

• on tumblr since 2k12 • i like making card houses beside christmas trees • I always wanted a train set • dOnT tOuCh Me • hotwheels bruh • likes soft games like white trip and polyforge • sad as hell a lot but tumblr friends make it better • lindsey stirling=#1 inspiration • padalecki is great • Kaye bye

☆ The End!

Note: I originally created my tumblr to be able to list random shit about myself I felt I couldn’t say or express elsewhere, and regardless of how many followers I get, how many critics might appear, how much I might feel like shoving it down, that is still what I want it for, and what I need it for. For about a year this blog was over 70% spn, and the rest was random, 5%-10% was my personal posts, mostly on the lower % side. I started to make friends, which was great, and I love them to death but for some reason my brain felt like it should censor my blog, that the people will expect something of me that I didn’t know of, some secret code I’m supposed to live up to. But, with my eyes squeezed closed I breathed to myself and I decided to let that go. To still be the same weird, passionate, overly exitable, punky, weird ass fucker that I am and I decided to make a new blog to continue my dive into SPN, and now this one is reverting back to what I meant for it to be for, A place to confide in, where I can come back and read what I’ve written and learn more about myself in the process, and relive those moments where I wrote the passionate poems and random personality quirks and musings and fics that have all come from my own brain. And even as I type this I wonder if you care, if you are just going to be secretly annoyed at me for making such a long post and taking up your precious time to brag about myself, to speak of things I know and recognize about myself, and that you might find my little sentences or weird phrases to explain who I am-“a L l T h E f R e C k L e S”, for instance-annoying or hindersome. Yet through all of this, my logical side is doing very little to help me. It drones on about the same things all the time, that everything is fine and I am gonna be ok. And these things are true, I know this. I know these sentences because I etched them into my brain when I left my ex, because I run through them every time I feel depressed or anxious. What drives me to continue writing this little… thing, is my adventrous, danger-curious little Mountain Goat that guides me to what is right and stares in the eyes of a problem as if they have never wavered in their confidence, one that never wonders if it can do the task, instead they merely do it. The base of this is that I want people to know me. And the only way for people to know me is for me to tell them. However those people may be wise to remember that my mind works in ways that are unusual to most. Anyway. This has been weird, see ya next time.

[sonnelittle]

002: armin or 001:with your favorite ship ?:0 !

                                      001 | Send me a ship and I will tell you:

I’d chose KomugixMeruem from HxH !

When I started shipping it if I did: The exact moment when Komugi got hurt by ravens and Meruem is like ??? why I am even worried about her ?? wh a t is this feeling

What makes me happy about them: Slow and without expecting they fell in love in a very honest way. Meruem got more human thanks to her (figuratively speaking) and both admire and are curious about each other.

What makes me sad about them: ................. They died ):

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: Tbh I don’t read a lot of fanfics so I don’t know, maybe I should 

Things I look for in fanfic: Exploring their relationship even more and AU would be interesting too :’)

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Tbh I have no idea, they do look really great together

My happily ever after for them: Alive orz

Who is the big spoon/little spoon: Meruem is the big spoon and Komugi the lil spoon :’)

What is their favorite non-sexual activity: Their whole relationship wasn’t sexual so basically just them playing Gungi and Meruem discovering more about the world with her.

                                     002 | Give me a character & I will tell you:

Armin [bare with me that I haven’t read the manga in a while orz]

How I feel about this character: I lo v e h im. He’s a very interesting character and there’s something in his design that is ??? very kind of trustworthy ??He’s such a good person that even if he’s scared he still tries, that even in the world he lives in, seeing cruelty and death around him, he’s still kind and emotional, I j u s t love that, it gives me hope. 

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Eren and Jean :’)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Haven’t read the manga in a while so I don’t know but I enjoy any friendship with him tbh

My unpopular opinion about this character: Maybe is not that unpopular but I don’t think he’s weak. He’s a 15-19 year old facing the end of the world and the people he cares about in constant danger and yet he’s strong enough to enrolled into the military who gets to see the ugliest part of the whole thing and where 70% of the time someone (or several) die during the missions just for the dream that he can do something for the world. I know he’s not physical strong but his abilities lay somewhere else, he’s strong in his own way. Saying this I also don’t think he’s that pure or innocent, the poor boy have seen some horrible stuff.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I want him to have a long and happy life around the people he cares about.

My OTP: Eremin and Jearmin :’)

My cross over ship: I remember I did have a crossover with SNK but I don’t remember the fandom hdsklfj Thinking about it now I would like him to meet many characters but one at the top of my head is Diana Prince (but as friends)

A headcanon fact: He would probably follow lots of “DIY” “Did You Know?” blogs

[sp00kybl0g]

Rules: Answer the questions and tag 20 people you want to get to know better

I was tagged by @twinkie-boi-aleks !! Thank you for tagging me btw aww;v; Name: Kayla Nickname: don’t really have one, usually it’ll be like an inside joke; or just “boi” ! Zodiac Sign: Pisces Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff!! Height: 5'1 I think Orientation: Heterosexual, but if you wanna get technical I might be heteroflexible or bi-curious ?? I’ve never really attempted to be with a girl or anything, and I do prefer men but idk.. I do think sexuality is a spectrum Ethnicity: White Favorite fruit: Watermelon Favorite Season: Autumn! It’s literally the perfect temperature and trees are so pretty. Aesthetic af my dudes Favorite Book Series: gonna be basic and say Harry Potter. Both the books and movies have been most of my childhood;v; and probably a lesser known series Maximum Ride is sooo good omfg Favorite Fictional Characters: here we fuckin gooo lmao. Luna Lovegood (HP); Sirius Black (HP); Moriarty (Sherlock); Sam Winchester (SPN); Tony Stark (Marvel); Bones (Star Trek); Ruby (RWBY); Penny (RWBY); Dylan (Bates Motel); Lars (SU) ((Theres a ton more im sure, but here’s just a few!)) Favorite Flowers: Blossoms! Favorite Scents: Coffee/cocoa; fruity, but not too strong bc they can make me feel sick sometimes; books; sharpies; gasoline Favorite Artist/Band: Its a mistake to ask me this question. (First of all, I like p much everything except country, and I’ll listen to smthn at least once! I love alt rock, punk, punkpop, i like some rap, I even listen to instrumental jazzy music, and I’ve recently gotten into vaporwave!) fall out boy, panic! at the disco, twenty one pilots, arctic monkeys, imagine dragons, all time low, my chemical romance, blink 182, green day, sum41, beastie boys, hoodie allen, and so many more omfg Coffee, Tea, or Hot Cocoa: Hot cocoa but only during the winter tbh. I wanna get into coffee and try different kinds but so far I don’t rly like it but I looove the smell rip me. And the only tea I rly drink is sweet tea but not v often. I should try different teas too! Average Sleep Hours: my sleep schedule is FUCKED rn lemme tell you that lmao. I usually try to get ready for bed at like 2am and then I end up being on tumblr for another hour or two, going through the feed and then maybe a fanfic bc I’m trash and then it depends on how long i search for a fic and how long it is etc. no matter how long I stay up I usually always wake up around 12-2pm. I’m always out of bed by 3. Yikes I know I’m sorry:/ Number of blankets slept with: Two ig. I have a sheet and then a thick comforter. I also sleep with one pillow but lately I’ve just been pushing it away and just don’t sleep on any pillow ??? I think I’m broken Dream Trip: honestly, probably hawaii, I have an internet friend who lives there and I would love to meet her. Also Austin, TX just bc RTX and the Alamo drafthouse and shit Blog Created: Like December 2011, but I didn’t really use it until later in 2012. This is both my main blog and a multi fandom blog so I’m sure you’ve all noticed how much of a cluster fuck it is lmao Number of blogs followed: 1761 Number of followers: 583 (thank you sm btw! I love all you especially the active ones who like/reblog stuff from me constantly!) What do I usually post: rooster teeth/let’s play (mostly achievement hunter and cow chop), gotham, bands, and just random funny stuff I see on my dash Do I usually get asks: Not really. Recently I did get a couple, but for the most part it’s p rare. Please don’t be afraid to send an ask or message me!! Here’s who I tag!~ @aestheticw3ntz , @getalickofmyrancidmeat , @shehadonlyofferedtwomediumeggs , @lliterallly , @youtube-feels , @donotfreeedgar , @cow-flop , @boulevard-of-brokenmemes , @turntechg0dhead , @alias-afta , @hello-pastel-dreams , @cowstopchicabutt , @superneatfreak47 , @forensicbec , @ruumate @chesternite , @expressionfixation , @http-emmx , @freckled-goddess , @nerdy-mom

[recessanger91-blog]

What I’m Into: July 2018

Whew – we snuck this monthly favorites list in right before the door to July closed on us! With summer in full swing, I feel like I have only half as much time as I did in the fall and winter. But this month, I wanted to share some of my favorite new finds as well as some old favorites, so grab a peach iced tea (*wink to the Broken Record subscribers*) and don’t forget to share your favorite products from July in the comments!

Soapbox

It has been a total joy to follow this brand from its inception through a full rebrand, the results of which are obviously stunning. They sent me a press package last year and I have been sudsing up with their body wash and hair care on and off for months! My hair really likes it, the body wash is my current favorite (I suggest the Sea Minerals body wash to  e v e r y o n e), and there are tons of products I haven’t even tried yet!

This brand caught my eye because, while Soapbox has brutally high standards for their ingredients, the prices are incredibly reasonable. That bundle above, for example, is only $31.95 – for everything. That’s a hand soap, shampoo, conditioner, bar soap, and bodywash – for $32. Sort of a screamin’ deal.

Their packaging has undergone a major upgrade, and if you’re picky about your soaps and hair cleansing products, get ready for this laundry list of Soapbox ethical qualities:

Paraben-Free

Gluten-Free

Cruelty-Free

Vegan

Made in the USA

Many Fair-Trade ingredients

Sulfate-Free Shampoo

Recyclable Packaging

1-for-1 Charitable Donation through Clean the World

That last one is my favorite! 1-for-1 means that, with every soap purchase, Soapbox donates a bar of soap to someone in need. (Soap = Hope!) Soap is at the top of the list for many shelters around the country due to its constant use, and Soapbox focuses their efforts on domestic aid, which is something I haven’t seen very often among 1-for-1 brands.

Each bottle has a unique Hope Code that you can input into the Soapbox website to see exactly where the donation from your bottle of soap or hair stuff is going. You can find Soapbox products at Rite Aid and Walgreens all over the country. They’re even easy to find in my little, dumb, island town! If you see some on the shelves, pick it up, but if you don’t see it on your local shelves, don’t worry! It’s all on Amazon for you, as well as on the Soapbox website!

Timberland Earthkeepers

I’m always on the quest for good shoes. Currently, I have a very modest collection of less than 10 pairs of shoes which, if you knew me in my SPEND ALL THE MONEY days, should come as a shock. I think I topped out at 64 pairs of shoes, at one point. My closet looked like a robot Christmas tree lot with all of my shoe trees scattered around. It wasn’t good, and the shoes were mostly low quality (“affordable”) dress shoes that I wore to the job I hated. Starting B&B changed all of that, and raised my standards for “good shoes” about 5000%.

In desperate need of some summer shoes – for both staying cool in the heat and getting into trouble – I took to Poshmark. After a while, I noticed that the shoes in my “Likes” had a noticeable bias towards Timberland Earthkeepers, which I had absolutely never worn before. I knew of Timberland boots because, hi, I was alive in the 1990s and early 2000s. What I didn’t know was the scope of their designs, and how incredibly ethical this brand is trying to be.

Timberland Earthkeepers, specifically, use at least 50% recyclable materials. The leather (yes, real leather) is from a company that is rated Silver for improved energy, waste and water management. The fabric shaft is made with “Bionic canvas” which contains recycled PET (aka plastic bottles) and the rubber sole is also partially recycled! Considering this info was secondary to me falling in love with the shoes designs, I can say I’m pretty damn pleased with my newfound favorite shoe brand.

Timberland Earthkeeper Authentics Canvas Fold-Down Boots in Folkstone Grey

These were the first Timberland shoes I pulled the trigger on, and they single-handedly got me hooked on the brand. While these boots typically sell for around $100 brand new, the pair I found on Poshmark were in amazing condition for only $23. 

Sure, they had some loved spots and a couple minimal scuffs, but they were already broken in for me, and they look even better when they’ve been loved for a few months.

The leather part of these boots is a beautiful blue-grey color, and the canvas looks almost like linen. Another feature that is adorable, but that I regularly ignore, is that these boots are lined with a super cute, blue floral fabric, so if you’re the type that likes to flip the top of the boots down, there is an adorable design element built-in to help make that as cute as possible.

Timberland Earthkeeper Greenside Sandals

After losing my sandals in a pool-noodle stealing operation in Mexico, I was in desperate need for a pair that would withstand my shenanigans for 2018. That means they need to be well-made with high-quality materials, be easy to throw on and kick off, and go with everything from dress shorts to a swimsuit coverup. Luckily, Timberland Earthkeepers came to the rescue – again, via Poshmark.

After stumbling upon exactly one pair of these sandals, I knew I had to act fast. They are cute as hell, made with strong materials, have a slip-on back strap, and are extremely versatile. Unlike the boots, which had many styles and colors available in my size on Poshmark, these were a one-of-a-kind find, so I contacted the seller ASAP and haggled the price of these down to a measly $27.

In hindsight, I should have taken a picture of the soles because Timberland makes some tough-ass shoes. The soles of these sandals are nearly identical to the Timberland boots that I got. They look like they’re ready to carry you through a construction zone – with a kitten wedge.

Have you tried Timberland Earthkeepers? Am I late to this party? I’m already looking to expand my collection because the high heels and dress shoes in the Timberland collections are screaming my name!

2 Dope Queens

Mindy Tucker/HBO

If you’re not privy to this existentially funny duo, you better wise up. Jessica Williams and Phoebe Robinson are a comedians turned podcasters turned legendary show hosts, and their eponymous series on HBO just got renewed for four more hour-long specials!

These two women make me wish I lived 1,000 miles closer to my best friends. Each one of their shows is an intimate peek into not only their friendship, but what life is like as a black woman living in New York City. Speckled between Phoebe and Jessica’s hilarious banter and BFF-arguments are special guests. There are a handful of stand-up comics that get to present a small set, and each episode has a non-comedian guest that shows up just to chat with the girls and participate in a little activity. For example, they bring out a full brunch spread, complete with cocktails, before bringing out the Queen of Brunch herself, Sarah Jessica Parker, who is adorable. Together, the 2 Dope Queen educate a curious and eager SJP about the ins and outs of black hair. It’s a must-watch!

Sans Sucre Baking Mixes

No matter how many times I have tried to stay on a healthy eating streak, my sweet tooth always sabotages me. I can’t get rid of it! Moreover, I don’t really want to get rid of it. Not only do I love baking and desserts, but if I can’t spend this life indulging in delicious things, then what’s the point? Luckily, there are tons of products and brands who are trying to ease the tension between sweet teeth and healthy lifestyles. San Sucre is one of those brands and, if you speak even mild, back-of-the-food-label French, you can probably figure out why.

Sans Sucre makes quick and easy baking mixes that have no added sugar. This makes the nutrition facts on a box of brownies look less like fudgy indulgences and more like a small-to-medium granola bar. Recently, I made the Milk Chocolate Brownie mix (around $5 per box) and was pretty impressed with both how easy it was to make and how delicious they were once they were done!

These turned out so incredibly good for being only 80 calories per serving, and they were much lighter than your average full-fat, full-sugar brownie which can feel super heavy and dense. They required exactly three ingredients: the baking mix, water, and 2T of oil. Yes, two tablespoons of oil for an entire batch of no sugar added brownies. That good, very-brownie-like sweetness comes from Stevia! Could this be love?

In addition to brownies, you can find coffee cake mixes, cinnamon “sugar” sprinkles and even no-sugar-added fudge mixes! San Sucre also sent over all kinds of mousse and pie filling mixes, including (but most certainly not limited to): key lime pie, cheesecake, chocolate mousse, and lemon mousse. Plus, the mousse and filling mixes are no added sugar and low fat! So far, I’ve tried nearly all of the brownies they have to offer, but expect to hear from me again when I dive into these!

If you want to try some for yourself, you can find Sans Sucre baking mixes at lots of different stores, but grab them super easily from Amazon!

That’s it for me this month – now it’s your turn! What have you been loving in July?

Probably watching Netflix.

Source: http://brokeandbeautiful.com/2018/what-im-into-july-2018/