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jikooksgirl19 · 4 years ago

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My Soulmates 1

Genre:Soulmate AU, fluff,angst, eventual smut

Pairing: Idol Jimin x Lawyer Reader x Idol Jungkook

Warnings: some swearing (Y/N has a trash mouth sometimes)

A/N: I’m so excited to bring you my story. I hope you all enjoy this first chapter.

Please read the teaser and prologue first if you haven’t already.

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October 7, 2018 4:36pm

The boys had been practicing since 8am that morning with limited breaks, and were tired and hungry. They were all going to dinner and begin making their way to the elevator, laughing and joking with each other. Namjoon was deep in thought when the doors of the elevator opened and a woman came out barreling right into the midst of the group. Her head was down, and she seemed absorbed in something on the iPad she held in her hands when she must have realized what she had done. Namjoon heard her gasp and reach out towards Jimin and Jungkook and thought she might be trying to steady herself as they were reaching out to her as well. He couldn’t believe it when they all began collapsing on the floor, the other boys trying to catch them. He noticed that the three were still grasping onto each other, and a red ring began to encircle their ring fingers and travel up their arms. The other boys were staring at this as well and they looked at each other shaking their heads. All of them mumbled the same thing

...”Oh Shit!”

You felt warm and cocooned for some reason. It was so cozy and you didn’t want to wake up. Wait, when did I go home? Your thoughts were hazy and you were trying to figure out where you were. You tried to stretch and found yourself bumping into something hard. As you started groping around you realized that this was not your pillow at all but felt like a chest. A mans chest. You have never moved so fast as you just did sitting yourself up. “What the hell...!” You look and see you are on a bed with not one but two boys cuddled up around you. Fear immediately sets in as you look around the room and see sleeping figures on another bed and couch.

“What the fuck...!” You said out loud quickly slapping both your hand over your mouth so as not to awaken the men in the room. You are in bed with, and surrounded by BTS. They are the worlds most famous boy band. They are the Nations Treasures. THEY ARE YOUR CLIENTS!!! Your mind explodes right then and there. You think to yourself ’What Tumblr, A03, Wattpad fanfic did I just wake up in.’

‘OH MY GOD IM IN A COMA!!!! That has to be it. There cannot be any other explanation. I’m in a coma and I transported into some sucky ass wannabe Hallmark Movie’.

All you can think of is that you have some sort of brain tumor and have fallen into a life altering, dream fugue-like state and all your teenage and young adult fantasies are blending together therefore you have conjured up some poly bias delusional weirdness in yor muddled brain. This isn’t real...this isn’t real... this isn’t real....... You pinch yourself and...oh shit that hurt. You struggle to get off the bed which isn’t easy by any means when two pairs of arms AND legs keep trying to pull you back down. You debate screaming bloody murder when you hear someone speak.

“You’re awake”. You turned your head and saw someone sitting up rubbing his eyes looking at you. You recognized the leader of said boy band Namjoon from the many many posters around BigHit.

“I am” your voice sounding more calm than you felt. “Can you tell me where I am and why I’m here with all of you like some weird slumber party?” You we’re holding on the the last shreds of professionalism that you could before screaming to the high heavens.

“You don’t remember finding your soulmates” he asked?

“Excuse me, my what now?” You cocked your head like you didn’t hear him right. “What on earth are you going on about? Soulmate, I don’t have a soulmate.”

“Soulmates” he corrected. By now some of the other members were starting to wake up.

“I AM in a COMA”. You were starting to babble incoherently in a mix of Korean and English with some well placed Spanish swear words your mother used to use when you were little and she was mad. You we’re starting to panic and began trying to climb off the bed all the while the two boys on your bed were snoozing away like nothing was happening. You managed to fall off of the bed and skittered backwards like a crab til your back hit the wall. You slapped your cheeks willing yourself to wake up.

Namjoon looked next to him and asked “Jin can you call Yuna? I think she may be able to help out with...” he looked at you realizing he didn’t know your name. Jin got up and walked towards the window to call someone.

“Y/N. Sona Y/N.” I...I..I’m a temporary lawyer working at BigHit on some of your international contracts. I’d like to say nice to meet you but maybe when there’s a less murdery vibe and location.” You were quickly getting your bearings together and began to gather your composure. “Now can you please tell me why I’m here being cuddled to death by those thing one and thing two over there” you point towards the bed. Several giggles and laughs were heard at this. You on the other hand were not sure what was so funny.

A deep voice in the corner answered this time. “Well thing one and two as you called them, or as we like to call them Jimin and Jungkook are your soulmates “ he said matter-of-factly like it was everyday normal. “I’m Taehyung, you can call me Tae or Tae-Tae to piss them off if you want.” His big boxy grin made him look like a mischievous child You couldn’t help but give him a wary smile. Someone else, you think it was J-Hope came towards you and thrust forward a hand. You cautiously took it and he helped you up from the floor. You began dusting off your skirt and straightening your blouse internally thanking the almighty upstairs that you were still clothed while eying all of them suspiciously. “I’m Hoseok, but you can call me Hobi if you want.”

Jin turned around after hanging up and offered you the only chair in the room. You quickly shuffled over sitting down and tried to ask again why you were here. In a bedroom, on a bed with your soulmates and their band mates all in the same room. “ Can someone please just tell me what happened?” Your voice staring to crack as you were close to tears. “This just feels too extrodinary to believe. You keep saying I have soulmates, as in plural. I didn’t even know that was possible.” It was then that you looked at your left hand and saw the red string tatoo. “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ME....Did I have a stroke? How...what...why...” your words became so jumbled you weren’t making any sense and you were pretty sure a panic attack was just a moment away from tackling your neurotic ass into submission. Jin kneeled in front of you telling you to breathe. “ In through the nose....out through the mouth Y/N. You can do it just breathe in and out, in and out...that’s it, you got it, in...out.” You sat there holding his hands while Tae began rubbing your back in circles as they were trying their best to calm you down. Jin explained to you that he also has a soulmate named Yuna and she is ready to come talk to you about what being attached to an idol can be like.

Across the room you heard a groggy voice “Uugghhhh....get off me Jungkookah. Why are we in bed? What happened” could be heard from the bed you just left. Jimin was sitting up while shoving Jungkook off of him and staring around the room. Jungkook fell off the bed. He jumped up and was getting ready to tackle his hyung who knocked him down when his eyes landed on you. He was confused as to why a woman, a very pretty woman, but a woman nonetheless was sitting in their studio bedroom at BigHit, surrounded by four of his hyungs. “Um, hello” he said quietly making Jimin look in the same direction. Eyes got wide when he also said a quiet hello and then proceeded to ask Namjoon “ What’s going on. Who is she and why are we all in here. I thought we were going to dinner?”

“See, I’m not the only one confused” you exclaimed louder and much squeakier than you meant. “Apparently we are soulmates” you say while gesturing to the both of them and yourself. “Surprise “ you say throwing up jazz hands and beginning to laugh at the outrageous looks on both of their faces.

“Who, who is your soulmate?” They both say at the same time.

Namjoon looks at you knowing you are barely holding on at the moment and answers for you. “All three of you are soulmates”.

They stare at each other then at you then at the group and both start laughing. “Ok ok, good joke hyung, stop playing around. Did you knock us out and this is a mystery mission? “ “Are we on a run BTS episode we didn’t know was being filmed?” They took turns asking like this was a prank or something.

When they see no one other than you are deadly serious they stop and start to freak out as well. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?” They look at each other only to both shout out that they couldn’t be soulmates. Why is it just happening now after knowing each other all these years. Brothers yes, soulmates no. NOPE. NO WAY, WHAT THE FUCK.

You get up and walk over to them. You grab both of their left hands and show them the tattoos. You peek inside your shirt and confirm you have the soulmates date above your heart, and tell them to check their chests as well. You strangely feel calm being around the two of them and less like a victim of some K-Pop Serial Killer drama that you stepped into, and you realize they also both settle down while you’re holding onto them.

Namjoon gets up and begins to explain that though it’s rare, there are known cases of multiple soulmates. They are harder to find because all of the mates must be together for their souls to connect. Once they do connect though the bond is stronger than a normal soulmates bond and can come with difficulties due to the relationship aspect of it. Prejudice often follows a poly soulmate connection due to the narrow mindedness of society and can often be looked down on. He tells the three of you that you should tell management right away so they can have a plan in place. Fans aren’t always supportive of their bias’s soulmates, and Y/N having two of the most popular idols in Korea as hers are going to come with challenges. Especially with you being a foreigner.

You three look at each other and back at Namjoon, silently agreeing to these terms. He also suggests you three need time together alone to get to know about each other because you all three had different lives leading up to today, and it would be best to figure out where you all should go from here. Other people’s feelings and relationships are going to be affected by what has happened and you all needed to be prepared for any backlash.

“Ok, now that this is all settled can we please get some dinner?” You hear from the other bed where apparently Yoongi has been napping throughout all the mental breakdowns.

To be continued...

Taglist: @mrcleanheichou @itsminniekat @dreamescapeswriting @seaoffangirling @4evahevah @sonderkook @bisexualmess007 @chxustuff @aviwasabi21 @skyys-universe @ally22042000 @ramblingsofawolfgirl

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theradicalace · 4 years ago

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💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

i see you talk about those funny kids from fnf (talk about lotsa characters itll be fun im interested)

"lotsa characters" you say 👀? alright, you asked for it /lh

this is gonna be decently long, cause it'll be a mix of headcanons (in bold) and other nonsense

so let's start with my personal favorite: pico (my beloved)!

-this orange haired man has rotted my brain entirely.

-oh my GOD i just want him to be happy

-canonically schizophrenic which i actually didn't know until now

-he's totally at least partially latino and can speak spanish change my mind

-he/it pico lives in my head rent free

-he can actually sing really well but usually doesn't around people

-secretly a massive theater kid but shh don't tell anyone he has a reputation to uphold

-taller than blake (bf), the same height as nene, NOT taller than gabby (gf) and darnell

-didn't formally graduate high school for obvious reasons but he did get his GED

-IN A HAPPY POLYAM RELATIONSHIP WITH BLAKE AND GABBY SHH THIS ONE'S CANON IN MY HEART

-they encouraged him to go to therapy

-learned sign language for blake the first time they dated

-taught sign language to gabby

-i think he's genuinely a very responsible gun owner. i normally don't like people who open carry in public but for some reason it doesn't bother me as much this time

-he canonically would have majored in computer science if he went to college i hate that he was robbed of the opportunity

-he goes back to college after he starts dating blake and gabby, at their encouragement

-he graduates top of his class

-he picks up ukelele as a hobby while he's in college because i think it suits him

-canonically wants to be a dj

-successfully becomes a dj as a side gig after graduation

-I SO DESPERATELY WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY

alright this post is gonna literally only be about pico if i don't stop so let's move on

the little beep bop man himself, boyfriend! (i call him blake):

-canonically bi we love that for him

-i know that his name has pretty much been confirmed to literally just be boyfriend but i refuse, i cannot call him that

-for some reason i seem to be the only one who wasn't surprised to find out he was 19

-a lot of people seem to think he was like 15?? i don't see it

-his concept art originally had bright pink hair what a king

-half japanese

-i accept the "miku is his sister" bit as canon it's just cool and fun okay

-the blue hair runs in the family

-he's CONFIRMED to be autistic and adhd i just found out i thought that was just a headcanon of mine but it turn out that i'm right as i always should be

-frequently nonverbal, communicates a lot with sign language

-japanese is his first language

-he learned spanish for pico bc it's pico's first language and LOOK im a sucker for "person learns their partner's first language for them"

-trans (but everyone knew i headcanoned this right? how could i not)

-he's actually the one who broke up with pico the first time around bc fuck those boring ass "pico breaks up with bf to keep him safe/bc he thinks he's not good enough/doesn't deserve him/whatever" hcs and fics, those are boring

-breaking up with pico was hard on him, but he did it because he recognized that pico was not ready for a relationship emotionally with regards to his trauma and everything, and staying would only hurt them both

-he was right, but that didn't make it any easier

-is him being a college dropout canon? i dont remember if that was canon or not

-i think his parents are probably not bad people, but they're the kind of parents who let work come before their kid. they were there, but not really THERE. trying to win him over with gifts and stuff when he just wants to spend time with him

-but they turn themselves around when he gets older and they realize "oh shit we actually weren't there for most of our son's life"

-it doesn't fix everything, obviously, but they put a sincere effort in and adult blake has a much better relationship with his parents than he did when he was younger

-hm maybe i'm projecting my own desires a bit with that last one haha what i didn't say anything

anyway

girlfriend! (i call her gabby):

-once again, it seems like a bunch of people thought she was younger than she is and i don't get it

-lost her SHIT when she found out that blake and miku are siblings

-she's a huge miku fan

-she tried to learn sign language on her own, but really struggled with it until she started getting lessons from pico

-she once dyed her hair blue to match with blake

-most people assume she's the fashionista of the poly trio, but she literally just wears her mom's clothes, shes not the fashionista

-she's also not the "brains of the relationship" like many people seem to think. that's just weird creepy language that i reject.

-SHE'S NOT MANIPULATING BLAKE FUCK OFF

-blake was her first partner, and she knows so little about being human, so when things got... let's say intimate for tumblr's sake, between them she needed a lot of guidance on what was good, what was painful, what walked the fine line inbetween, etc

-i mean, you should having those conversations and communication with your partner about intimacy regardless but especially when they're a demon who's never dated a human

-even outside of the bedroom, blake has taught her a lot about being human, and really helped her grow as a person

-it's growth she COULD have done by herself, sure, but it's a lot easier and faster when someone's helping you through it

-SHE IS ALSO CONFIRMED AUTISTIC AND ADHD EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU PHANTOMARCADE

-her parents homeschooled her

SPEAKING of her parents

the dearests! (i don't have names for them lol):

-lumping them together because i really only have one thing for them and that's that

-they're really not bad people either. they love their daughter to bits, and if they had someone to guide and teach them the way blake did to gabby, they would absolutely come around. they honestly think they're doing what's best for her. obviously this doesn't make it RIGHT, but they do say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

okay moving on

the spooky kids, skid and pump!:

-i'll be real i don't know much about them or their source material

-i just think they're cute

-they stay on good terms with blake and gabby after their appearance in week 2

anyway

senpai, our favorite slender bishonen ;) (i call him seth!):

-HE'S NOT DEAD FUCK YOU

-canonically an entirely different character from spirit, which is good, because idk fuck all abt spirit

-i want him out of that video game right now

-when i tell you this guy gives me such "gay and homophobic" vibes...

-he's also trans

-i accept "monika is his sister" as canon in my heart

and rounding off with...

tankman!:

-i dont know anything about tankman. literally zero.

-HOWEVER.

-he has this line of dialogue

-which implies that he either dyes his hair or at least used to, and has gotten hair dye in his eyes

-i love that for him

-also he's canonically asexual. king.

-like yeah the tweet that confirms it is a little bit mocking but confirmed representation is confirmed representation.

-okay i like tankdad a little bit

-i saw a really good tankdad fic with him apologizing to pico about the school shooting comment because that was genuinely fucked up

-look i just want pico to have a father figure of some sort because his actual (unnamed) father is implied to be a shitty dude who doesnt love him and

-dammit, i'm talking about pico again

-i went back like 6 times to add more stuff to the pico part of this post and now i can't even keep it contained to one section

#ace rambles #friday night funkin #hyperfixation meme #long post #infodumping #oh my GOD this post is so long #i... may have gotten carried away #it was fun tho you were right jet #headcanons with a dash of canon #pico's school #tankmen #tankdad

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jojolovenotes · 4 years ago

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hi again! i was wondering if i could have a love note from lisa lisa, jotaro and ms frizzle? ive been having a really rough time keeping up with my assignments (especially my math homework) and im feeling a little burnt out from trying to keep on top of things, and i need a little encouragement to get myself going again and get myself to start turning my stuff in on time. (and if any of you guys have advice for remembering math formulas or how to do conjugations for spanish, i am all ears i am dying over here trying to remember everything djdbb)

🕶Hi there,

I’ve heard you’ve been feeling a bit burnt out lately. I understand that feeling, it’s important to take breaks but you also have to keep pushing forward. I know you can get through it! Just study at least a little bit every day, I’m sure you can do it. It’s alright to ask for help too if you don’t understand something. I hope you’re able to do well on your school work.

Love, Lisa Lisa

🐬 Hey, I know school stuff can get frustrating, but I think you’re doing so well. I know things get tiring and it’s good to rest but you’ve just gotta keep on studying. I can try to help you study a bit, I’m not sure I can help you with Spanish but I think I might be able to help you out with some of your math problems maybe. I’ll give it a shot. Hope you feel better soon. You’ve got this.

Love, Jotaro

🚌 Hello!

I know sometimes school can get frustrating, but I hope that I can help make it a little bit more fun and entertaining for you! You know i don’t mind sitting with you and helping you retain more information in your brain! It might be a lot, but I believe that you’re able to do it! You’ve just got to be patient and kind with yourself. I hope you can believe in yourself just like I believe in you too!

Love, Ms. Frizzle

#received transmission ✨#love notes 💕#queue ✨

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thisstableground · 4 years ago

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Sixteen, twenty three and twenty four?

16. Do you research for your fics? If so, how deep of a rabbit hole have you gone down by accident when researching?

not all of them need research, or a lot of my research is sort of passive - like basically 100% of the time im doing other stuff, my brain is taking notes whenever something that might help me write will come up. as for active research, possibly the fact that i only knew like four sentences of spanish when i started writing fic and am now probably intermediate and trying my best to aim for conversational fluency and the ability to write in different dialects is quite a long-term rabbit hole. (i just started going back and fixing a lot of the spanish/adding in a significant amount more of it to my fics this week, actually, bc the early stuff especially was n o t great)

i think the most research i ever did for a single fic was when i wrote that roadtrip fic for 90verse. i've never stepped foot in the USA in my life, i'm terrible at geography, i don't drive, and timezones make my brain hurt, so there were s o many tangents i went down there. special shoutout to that one timelapse video of a trucker going from NJ to cali where even sped up i almost lost my mind with boredom going through the midwest (no offense midwest, there was just. so much corn.). it really was super useful for little environmental details though - i’d like, pause at all of the blurry, pixelly road signs and made a note of what was written on all of them, and kept note of every turning that they made, that’s the level of detail i researched in and no, most of it did not show up in the fic but it made me more comfortable writing it.

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

i write SO much hurt/comfort. like that's all my fic is. just everyone trying to get better together. is that a genre rather than a trope? i don't know. i have enjoyed the few Highly Romantic Trope-based vansnavi fics i wrote, though i don't know how closely i stick to aaall the elements of those stories because it's more fun to make the idea fit the characters, (in the case of vansnavi, i love using the usual tropes that are made for a couple to end up together, like fake dating, but they just still haven't quite got there yet and need a few more months to ponder it all. bless them they are trying)

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

probably a lot of them, which isn't to say i don't think they should exist, just that my personal tastes are so freakin' specific/my triggers are all over the shop (i actually don't really read fic because of this, except for by people who i know well enough that i can ask them about it before i read). and also i think that most tropes can be altered in a way that's subversive or interesting to me, if i really wanted to. there are some things that i just personally don't like and would never write though, for various very different reasons - i don't like hurt no comfort, especially those really long fics where terrible things just keep happening and nothing gets better. i don't like any of those sort of....sex based AUs, if you know what i mean? like ABO stuff or i'm sure there are others but i can't remember any of them, it just makes me extremely uncomfortable. i don't enjoy readerfic at all.

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apenapaperandadoofus · 4 years ago

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PLEASE SHARE IT. PLEASE, I NEED IT.

ASK AND YA SHALL RECIEVE

Keep in mind I was about 12-13-ish when I wrote it and I was in my angsty stage so this gets a bit dark pft

here are the first 2 chapters -there are like 9 in total I think- if ya want the fnaf one then tell me bc I actually have to translate it and everything bc I wrote it in Spanish lol

TW mentions of abuse sorta and alcoholism

"Come back here you lil' shit!!!"

"I'll kill ya, I swear to God I'll kill ya!!!"

I could hear him behind me, stumbling and crashing into things, with that stupid glass bottle in his hand.

I have to keep going or he will really kill me. I kept running zig-zagging through the trees trying to lose him.

"You little fuck!!! How dare you run away from me after all I've done for you?! I was the one that gave you a roof under your head, the one that fed you and took care of you and THIS is how you repay me?!"

Yea right. I'd rather be in the streets than have to live with you in that damned house again. C'mon (Y/N) you're almost there!!

"I'll do the same thing I did with them to you!! You'll end up like all those kids, like all those dirty bastards!"

CRASH!

A flash of lightning crashed behind me.

Keep going, keep going.

Suddenly, as I keep climbing up I see something.

A cave.

Yes!! Now I can finally get rid of him! I quickly started climbing, finally getting into the cave. It was really chilly, but it would at least protect me from the rain, and since it was nighttime and he was drunk he'd have no chance of finding me.

Or that's what I thought.

"Ahh, there you are my dear (Y/N)~ You are quite slippery you know? You remind me so much of her, my little Frisk. But you both had to escape from me didn't ya. Do you know what happened to Frisk dear?"

He chuckled and came closer, while I was walking backward trying not to stumble.

"I killed her." He smiled. " It was an accident, I didn't want to, but she was being a naughty little girl~ [EW WTF WHY DID I WRITE IT LIKE THAT LMFAO GREAT WAY TO MAKE HIM CREEPY AF AMANDA]" he came closer, and the smell of booze reached my nose.

"G-get away from me you creep!"

He laughed and pushed me, making me stumble and fall down. I tried to crawl away but then he started kicking me.

IM ALSO NOT PUTTING THIS PART BC IT WAS CROSSING THE LINE A BIT AND I WANTED TO MAKE IT DARK ANYWAY THE THING IS THIS SHIT ESCALATED REALLY QUICKLY AND I GASPED BC HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS WITH ME

Basically, he said more creepy shit bc I wanted to make him a huge asshole, but I still don't feel comfortable putting it and I'm sure for other ppl its uncomfortable too so uh, lets just say the guy was just really really bad and wanted to do really bad things to uhh, the reader

This, this guy had the nerve to- ugh!!

"S-stop it"

He quickly grabbed me by my hair and brought my face closer so we were locking eyes.

"Y'know no one cares about you! You're nothing! But if you stay with me you'll see I can be a good guy! I promise I will treat you better! I will do anything for you. You just have to be a good girl and stay in your room."

"No!!"

I quickly spit on him and kicked him in the stomach. I was not going back there, not going to suffer through all that again. I got to my feet and ran deeper and deeper into the cave

"You can't escape (Y/N)~" I heard from behind me.

I ran faster. I'm not going to let him win. I'm not.

" You'll just end up like Frisk!"

Crash!!!

I yelped and tripped on a vine, falling into a hole, hearing his echoed taunts getting farther and farther away.

Is this it?

Is this how I die?

Will I really end up like Frisk?

No.

I won't die. I can't die. Not today.

Those were my last thoughts before I was surrounded by darkness.

Chapter 2 [this one is more fun I lol]

"You little bitch!"

"Come back here!"

"You'll end up just like Frisk"

"I promise we'll get out of here....

Frisk"

I woke up with a start. My head dizzy from the fall.

Where...am I? Who's Frisk? Why can't I remember anything...? Hold on, did I loose my memory? What the-

"Heck!!" I heard someone say behind me. I quickly turned around, and saw a kid who looked to be around my age, floating a few feet away from me. Their hair was up to their shoulders and they were wearing shorts with a cute green stripped sweater.

"Seriously?! And just when I get used to being dead?! Do you hate me that much world!?" The kid yelled while waving their fist at the top of the cave.

Huh.....

Wait.....

Dead?

Am I dead?

If so where the heck am I?

Is this what the afterlife is like? Being stuck with a 10 year old ghost kid? Is it because of that one time I stole a ring pop from John? Because if it is he totally deserved it, he wasn't even gonna eat it!

"Am I really dead..?" I whispered.

Suddenly the ghost kid turned around and looked at me.

"Wat?" They asked.

"Am...am I dead?" I looked at my palms trying to figure out what was going on.

The kid sighed.

"No. You're not dead you dummy, you just fell down into the Underground, and somehow that awoke me...huh... that's weird."

Oh. So I'm not dead. That's nice I guess.

"Um, wait, the Underground?" I stood up, and stretched a bit, trying to check if everything was alright.

"Yea. With monsters and stuff. You just fell down from Mt.Ebott. You'd be the second human here to fall down."

Wait. The second one? I thought six more had disappeared in here a while ago.

"You mean the seventh human." I corrected them.

"Noooo, I mean the SECOND human, jeez are you deaf or something?"

They glared at me as if I was the dumbest person they had ever met.

"Nuh-uh. If there's one thing I remember is that 6 humans had fallen before me"

"Well then you remembered wrong because last time I checked I was the only one. That fall must've really damaged your brain" they chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. They really were stubborn and they were pretty rude too! If it were up to me I would've walked away by now but since I am down here somewhere I don't know with MONSTERS, I should really have an ally and they seem to be my only hope. Maybe they're nice once you get to know them, so I should really try to befriend them.

"So uh, ghost kid...what's your name?" I looked at them with a sweet smile, trying to be friendly.

"My name is Chara. And I was the first human to fall down here. What's yours?"

"My what"

"Your name, you idiot. Don't tell me you forgot that too." They smirked.

"Pshh I didn't forget my name!" I puffed my cheeks and looked the other way. I honestly had no idea what my name was but I wasn't going to let that ghost kid treat me like a dumbass again.

"Fine then, what is it?"

Shoot.

"U-um i-its uh..."

Let's seeeeee... what's a good name? Oh jeez what are some good names I could use right now?

As I was panicking suddenly something came to my mind.

"Frisk." I said.

I have no idea who Frisk is, but it felt just right. And it was the first thing that popped into my mind so.

"Oh. That's a peculiar name. But we'll then, Frisk. What are you going to do? Do you want to go back to the surface?" They eyed me with curiosity. I honestly had no idea what I would do. But I just had this urge to go back to the surface. But there was nothing up in there for me was there? I mean maybe I had a family or something's that's looking for me right now. Or maybe I could just be a homeless nobody.

"Do you promise me we'll get out of here?" "Yes. And we'll go and look at the stars in a field of golden flowers, like the ones in your book. It's a promise."

"I want to go back up."

That seemed to get Chara's attention.

"R-really? You want to go back up there? With those assholes?" They scoffed.

"Yep. I just feel as if I have something important to do over there. Like a promise."

"Ah...well, if you want I can show you the way! We can go meet these monsters, they took care of me while I was in here! They could help you!" They smiled and started going ahead of me.

"Uhm, sure, I guess! That'd be cool!" I said as I started walking behind them. If I manage to get those monsters' help, I'll be out of here and try to get my memory back and fulfill my promise.

CRINGY I KNOW BUT WERE GETTING TO THE PICKUP LINES AND THOSE ARE HILARIOUS IN A BAD WAY LMAO MAYBE I CAN LATER POST THE OTHER CHAPTERS PFT

Chapter 3

"So uh..Chara..will these people have food?" I asked while walking behind them.

"Food?" "Yup" "You're stuck in a place full of monsters and all you can think of is food?"

Before I could answer though, my stomach let out a loud growl. I giggled.

"I guess that answers your question."

We became quiet again until Chara turned around and looked at me.

"So how old are you?" "I'm about to be twelve" "You're pretty mature for a twelve year old" they scoffed. "Well you're pretty immature to be whatever age you are." Chara laughed.

"I'm thirteen. So that basically means you have to do everything I say since I'm the older one" they stuck their tounge out.

"That's not fair!" I proclaimed. "The world isn't fair." The smirked. "Your face isn't fair"

"Damn, Frisk, you got me" they said with mockery.

"Shut up"

They laughed and then looked at me with a serious expression. "No but really, if you want to survive here you'll have to listen to me or else you'll die. And if you abuse the SAVE point it'll stop working. If you loose determination too."

"Woah. Wait what? A save point? Determination? I am really confused right now"

"Ugh, I'll explain later. Right now we have to get to the RUINS."

"Is that were you lived when you were stuck down here?"

"Tch, why do you care? And I wasn't stuck. I lived here because it's the only place were murder isn't the first option and monsters aren't assholes."

"Hey, stop being so rude, I just want to find out more about you! I really want us to have a good relationship if you're stuck with me for a while!"

"Just mind your own business."

"Ughh you're so-"

I suddenly stopped walking when I saw a single gold flower in the middle of the path.

"Why'd you sto- ohh that's creepy."

"It's just a flower. It won't do anything."

I kneeled down to look at the flower better, for some reason this flower looked different than all the other ones.. I was about to reach out for it when all of a sudden the flower turned around and smiled at me.

"Howdy! I'm Flowey! Flowey the Flower!"

What. The.

This flower could talk?! What?!

"Oooook Frisk this is definitely creepy, don't touch it and walk away."

I ignored Chara and smiled at the flower. They seemed friendly, so why not?

"Hey there! I'm, um, Frisk. I'm new around here."

Flowey noded and smiled at me.

"Oh! So since you're new you probably don't know how the Underground works! I guess lil' old me will have to teach you! Ready?"

"Frisk I'm not really getting good vibes from this guy." Chara said again, this time a little bit more serious.

"Shhh" I stood up and looked at Flowey, nodding.

"Thank you Flowey!! You're really nice! So how does this all wo-?" Suddenly I was being surrounded by darkness, with Flowey standing in front of me.

"Where is-" I suddenly stopped talking when I saw a red...heart? In front of me.

"See that red heart over there?" Flowey asked me.

I nodded.

"That is your SOUL, the very culmination of your being!"

"Woahh, that's so cool!"

"Your soul starts off weak, but it can get stronger if you gain a lot of LV."

Suddenly Chara appeared beside me and shook their head.

"Frisk I don't think he-"

"Frisk! You may be asking: Flowey, what does LV stand for? Well, for LOVE of course!!"

Oh. I guess in here is not that bad if their policy is like the place where the Carebears live.

"Fris-"

"You want some LOVE don't ya? Well don't worry! I'll share some with you."

After he said that a few white pettals appeared in front of Flowey. I guess that's how you get some LV right?

"Frisk, I'm serious right now, do not touch the bullets."

I looked at Chara.

"Thanks but what bu-"

"DOWN HERE" Flowey yelled to get my attention. I turned to look at him with a nervous smile, he just rolled his eyes and kept talking.

"LOVE, is shared through some....little...white... friendliness pellets!"

Ok. Now that was definitely suspicious. And where those the bullets Chara was talking about before? Jeez this guy really got me, but I mean. He's a flower why in the world would he kill me?

"Are you ready Frisk?! Catch as many as you can!" Then, the...white friendliness pellets, started moving towards me. How in the world was he doing that?! This place is so weird, filled with talking flowers and dead kids suddenly becoming alive again. I just want to go home!

"Frisk!! Watch out!!" Chara yelled beside me.

"What?"

I looked at Flowey and saw the pellets getting closer to me. Before I had the time to dodge they got me and I felt a huge amount of pain. I fell to the ground on my knees, gasping for air, trying to make it go away.

What was happening?! I quickly looked behind me when I noticed that the yellow bar that was once full, was suddenly empty. It said 1/20.

Chara rolled her eyes.

"You dummy! Those were bullets! And to even top it off you have literally one hp left!"

"One hp...? Wait Chara what is goin-"

"You idiot." I heard a creepy voice say behind me.

I slowly turned my head around, looking at Flowey, with my eyes widening.

"F-Flowey?"

"In this world, it's killed or be killed!"

"Wha-what?"

"Why would ANYONE pass up an opportunity like this?"

"Chara!" I yelled trying to get up, but a couple of bullets appeared beside me and surrounded me, trapping me where I was.

"DIE. " I heard Flowey yell, while the bullets started closing in on me.

Maybe I could dodge them? Or find a way to escape? Where was Chara and why weren't they helping me?

I heard Floweys's laughter get louder and louder while the bullets got closer and I shut my eyes.

I guess this is the end now. I will really die. Did I seriously think I would survive in this Underground world? Really? They're monsters for God's sake! Of course I would die here. And I wouldn't be able to fill my promise. My eyes started tearing up. I could feel the bullets really close now, about to touch me when-

All of a sudden, a fireball hit Flowey in the face, making him disappear with the bullets. Chara appeared beside me.

"Phew! That was close! At least she got here in time! I told you he wasn't a good person Frisk! If you want to survive here you'll have to do exactly what I tell you to do, or else you'll die." They nagged me.

I tried standing up once again, trying to see who saved me.

"What a horrible creature, torturing such a poor, innocent youth." Came a sweet voice from above me. I felt their hands go in my back and a weird warm feeling surrounded me.

When the warm feeling was gone, I didn't feel pain anymore. That was weird. I finally managed to stand up, and looked at the lady who saved me.

She's a.....goat? Lady? Monster?

She had a really pretty purple tunic, with a weird white symbol in the chest area.

She smiled at me and waved her hand.

"Ah do not be afraid my child. I am TORIEL, caretaker or the RUINS. I pass down here everyday to see if any humans have fallen down."

I looked at Chara, who looked to be about to cry. Maybe this was the monster they were talking about before? The ones that took care of them probably?

I shook my head and smiled at Toriel. She did look like she had good intentions, and yes, they did save me from that wretched flower. But I wasn't going to be dumb enough to fall into the same trap again, so this time I had to be cautious.

Toriel smiled back, and turned around, grabbing my hand.

"Come, my child, I will guide you through the catacombs!"

And with that, she grabbed my hand and walked with me, leading the way.

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all-the-heart-you-cannot-see · 5 years ago

Text

Mulan 2020 review

This is the first Disney remake i've cared enough about to review it, and i can only describe it in one word: dissapointing.

Spoilers ahead.

Now lets start with the things is did like!

I think the movie looks very beautiful, it's a nice color palette and the locations are all stuning, the set desing and photography is really good, i think this is the only aspect in which this movie manages to outshine the animation. It's never boring or ugly to look at, and im a sucker for a nice aesthetic.

I also liked Mulan, her internal conflict was nice, it showed she was a true warrior at heart, yes she was brave, and loyal, but she knew she wasn't true because she was being dishonest, the fact that it made her uneasy to know she was lying showed she had a good understanding of what it meant to be a warrior. I liked that.

I liked the ending and the reference at the begining to the original ballad with Mulan and the rabbits, i liked the action scenes, they were nice and i really, really liked the mid portion of the movie, it was the time i was the most entertained, the training part is the best part, the begining and the end were kind of meh for me.

As for the supporting cast, Shang was okay (i know his name is not Shang, i just dont remember how to write it) he didn't bother me, i like the ending they gave them, im annoyed by the fact thay they tried to made it seem like he knew she wasn't a man since the begining, we all know Shang was bisexual, Disney.

The witch and Mulan are sapphics and no one can change my mind, i liked her motivations, she just wanted to live in a society that would accept her for who she was, but the way she died was stupid, if she was going to die it had to be more epic than that, an arrow through the back while trying to save Mulan was lame (and also the death of a love interest, you can't fool me)

Now, with the rest of the soldiers we enter territory of what i didn't like.

When i first watched the trailers i was super excited. I love the animated version, but i was all on board with a live action Mulan that was all about war, battles, epicness and cool action scenes. I didn't want this to be a copy or try to emulate the original. My favorite part of maleficent is that is a new take on the original movie, it is not a afraid to go away from the source material, now i know Mulan is widely more loved than Aurora so they were probably scared of making it too different (also is disney kids movie) but if you took Mushu, grandma and the songs away, then go all the way.

I wanted an epic Mulan movie, i think the fact that it was princess movie held it back. Yao, Cricket and Ling only reminded me of the fact that this wasnt charming like the animated movie. If they wanted to keep them they needed to give them more screen time. Those characters are developed in the songs on the original, we don't have that in this version and honestly i don't think the cast had great chemestry together.

Mulan and Shang sure, but Mulan and the rest of the soldiers felt distant from each other which didn't help to sell me on them. I didn't find them annoying or unnecesary, just underwelming because everytime she said Yao my mind went to animated Yao (and how little we had seen about movie Yao to justify the playful i'll kill you myself banter).

The other thing i didnt like was the Chi thing. Like i know it is a thing in chinese martial arts, but part of the appeal of the original is that Mulan learns to be a great warrior like the other soldiers, there is nothing inherently special about her, she is just a girl in the army trying to bring honor to her family. When i saw kid Mulan do the back flip off the roof on the first scene i rolled my eyes so hard i could see my brain.

If they wanted to show Mulan wanst content with her role in society, little Mulan chasing the chicken was enough, the crazy ninja skills just took away from the experience in my opinion. The message of the original ballad is that you can't distinguish a rabbit from a female rabbit (i dont know the word in english for it, lol in spanish is a liebre from a conejo) when they are runing side by side, the message is you too little girl at home can be a fierce warrior, by giving Mulan an innate magic chi power they mess all that up. It was the WORST part of the movie, honestly without it i would like it more, even without the movie being an epic battle against invadors.

Keep the Chi, i dont care, its part of chinese traditions, but dont make it fucking magical, it didn't need to be.

Finally the ending. Mulan's magic kicks were cool to see in action scenes, but they were an awful way of killing off the villain, it was so anticlimatic i was legit waiting for the dude to actually catch the arrow and keep on fighting Mulan. I guess because it is a kids movie they couldnt have Mulan put a sword through his chest, but still, a cooler death would've been fine. I guess they wanted to trick us into thinking it was good by not having him die by falling into the fire thingy, but no Disney, death by arrow kick is just as lame.

Im ngl i missed the part where the emperor says to Shang to go after the girl but it wasnt something that made me like the movie less, i just wish they had made it different enough so i wouldnt have to miss those things. Like i said im okay with her and Shang not being really endgame, if they had Shang meet her at the village then i would've wished grandma was there so that was a smart move on their part.

Overall i think kids will enjoy this movie, but the rest of us who grew up with Mulan will just be dissapointed, this movie had great potential, i think the people who made it actually liked the character and cared about making a good movie, the fact that they had to combine action with a princess movie i think did not work in their favor.

I don't want to be too harsh on the movie, because i think they managed to give Mulan as a character something new, and im also a huge Disney simp, but if im honest, its probably a 6/10.

#mulan 2020 #mulan #disney mulan #mulan live action

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writersblockpeter · 5 years ago

Text

new york boy (hc) | p.p.

a/n: 50TH IMAGINE WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWWWWWWWWWW!! this shit go 🅱razy!

summary: life is hard when you visit your uncle in new york and all of a sudden there's a cute boy named peter parker in your life (i suck at summaries just stick with me here)

warnings: the usual fluff/hella cussing + like a minute of slight angst, also DEADASS THIS IS LIKE 8.5K WORDS I GOT SO SO SOOOOOO CARRIED AWAY AHSAHDJFKSNFK

ALSO I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY INCONSISTENCIES OR TYPOS OR ANYTHING I LITERALLY WROTE THIS OVER A FEW DAYS AND GOT SO CARRIED AWAY WITH DIFFERENT PLOTLINES AND BASICALLY WHAT IM SAYING IS THIS IS VERY VERY CHAOTIC BUT I HOPE YOU GUYS GET THE POINT LOL

+ + +

- SECOND HEADCANON IN A ROW YEAHYEAH

- you guys i've had a one direction relapse i was literally Obsessed with them like eight years ago (when they were still together rip) and all of a sudden they are just living in my brain Rent Free once again

- btw harry is my favorite and always has been. call me basic but it's been an eight year bond so try and fight that 😌✋

- anyways time to write the actual fucking story

- haha Oops!

- no i didn't accidentally spell oops "opps" at first. the fact that you even think that is complete absurdity

- CAN LITTLE THINGS BY 1D STOP MAKING ME EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW

- this is the eighth bullet point and i have yet to get into the actual story holy fuck

- guys i just watched knives out (yeah i know i'm late whatever) and i haven't fully processed it yet but it was Muy Bueno!

- STEAL MY GIRL IS PLAYING

i knowwww i knowwww i knowwww for sure

EVERYBODY WANNA STEAL MY GIRL

EVERYBODY WANNA TAKE HER HEART AWAY

- i am so sorry

- OKAY THIS IS WHERE THE ACTUAL STORY STARTS HOLY SHIT

- yeah ❤

- SO BASICALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- fuck what is this imagine about again?

- OH RIGHT

- OKAY

- YOU'RE TONY STARK'S NIECE OKAY

- don't ask me how that works i have No Fucking Clue (which i'm sure you've gathered at this point)

- (i don't know what i'm doing)

- y'all i've got a headache but ❤ nevertheless she persisted ❤

- so basically

- you live like

- not... in new york...?????????

- so like SOMEWHERE ELSE

- let's say you live in like california

- YEAHYEAH OKAY

- SO LIKE YK HOW TONY USED TO LIVE IN CALI

- so you and uncle tones (😌) were super close when he lived in cali and he'd like pick you up from school and get you ice cream and basically be the Coolest Uncle Ever

- ur mom (let's say she's tony's sister) would be like 🙄 whenever he'd goof around with u but she loved y'all's relationship

- ain't that fluffy

- but THEN

- tony moved to new york

- bitch how fucking rude is that

- so u were like

- a little dead inside

- but that was when you were like six so time moved at Hyper Speed back then and you don't really like Remember the Pain 😀

- OH AND BY THE WAY KINDA IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE!!!!!

- SINCE UR MOM GOT MARRIED SHE TOOK YOUR DAD'S LAST NAME (aka l/n) AND YOU KEEP THE FACT THAT TONY IS YOUR UNCLE A SECRET FOR LIKE SAFETY REASONS IG LOL

- Anyways! from there on you only visit once a year and be there for a week

- but u best BELIEVE those visits were HYPE AS FUCK YEAHYEAH

- when you turned 13 ur mom surprised you by finally letting you start going by yourself

- badass 13 year old y/n 😌

- so u were like Heck Yeah!

- YeahYeah 😀😀😀

- happy picks you up from the airport and ur like "uh hi"

- ANYWAYS THE POINT IS YOU START TRAVELLING TO NEW YORK ALONE

- SO!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE NOW IN PRESENT TIME

- you go on your annual trip

- happy picks you up as per usual

- the usual awkward convo goes on which typically goes something like:

"are you excited to see your uncle" "yeah" "cool" "mhmm"

- yeah ❤

- but anyways by the time you're like 10 mins away you're practically Bouncing in your seat

- happy is like.... Girl. Calm Down! 😀

"oh by the way tony has the kid over today"

- bro Huh???????????

- ??????

- "the kid" Very Specific Thank You!

- you're like "who tf is the kid"

"spider-man"

......

😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

- your head SPINS over to happy

"he's SPIDER-MAN?"

- happy just gets that Smug Smile Look on his face (y'all know the face) and shrugs, pulling into the garage

- you JUMP out of the car

- you wanna see sum real speed?

"identific-"

"FRIDAY! it's y/n let me in!!!"

- bitch calm down

"welcome back, y/n"

- WANNA SEE SUM REAL SPEED? 2.0

- you BUST through the doors

- not to mention your backpack is Barely Hanging On and happy is still in the garage hurling your suitcase out of the trunk

- sorry happy 😔😔

- happy ain't lookin so happy rn!

"friday, where's my uncle?"

"he's in the laboratory"

- WANNA SEE SUM REAL SPEED?????? 3.0

- go! go! go! go! go! go! go! go!

- spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬

- you FLY down the stairs to the lab

- tony looks over and a smile immediately breaks on his face

- you look disheveled as HELL cause you're like panting and Far Too Excited

- peter looks over and sees you and is like 0_0

- as soon as you see peter you're ALSO like 0_0

- he cute

- wait no fuck he's HOT

"short-circuit!"

- you manage to tear your eyes from peter Somehow and look over at tony, smiling like a madwoman as you jump into his arms and give him a hug

"short-circuit?"

- oh damn

- this kid's Voice!!!!!!!!!!

- adorable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- you and tony pull apart and tony explains the nickname

"peter, this is y/n, my niece. short-circuit just so happens to come from when this idiotic girl will be talking about something when we're in the lab and she suddenly drifts off and gets this zoned out look on her face. she short-circuits, basically"

- peter's Still like 0_0

- his brain can't even Function Properly because tony was just explaining the next updates to peter's suit and then you're here and you're really pretty and tony apparently has a niece? and Everything Is Happening!!!!!!!!

"well im so sorry that i drift off because my brain is coming up with super cool stuff, which usually tends to make your little inventions even better. let's not forget me figuring out how to properly program JARVIS"

- *not peter's 0_0 look managing to amplify*

- eyebrows are RAISED

- (also quick moment of silence for jarvis i miss him 😔)

in memoriam:

graphic design is my passion 2.0

fyi graphic design is my passion is becoming a new ~segment~ on these hcs because i love making them and i deadass couldn't stop laughing at my last one

- okay back to Da Program

- all tony does is scoff, clapping you on the back

"anyways... peter's interning for me, so i was just explaining-"

- intern? i don't think so!

- time to be a stark and fuck things up!

- YEAHYEAH

"happy told me he was spider-man? the suit is literally on that table over there? unless he's doing both spider-man and an internship? which is honestly impressive, i mean-" you look over at peter, "with school and everything- unless you don't go to school, but still-"

- you look back over and tony and this man is.........

- he's got that Look on his face you know what i'm talking about

"dammit, now i gotta go yell at happy"

"oh shit was i not supposed to know?"

- tony gives you an exasperated look and you're like Oops!

"it would've been better if you didn't know. just don't go running that big mouth of yours"

- you give him an offended look before being like Okay Fine Whatever

- tony is just tired and peter's standing there like OH FUCK UH OKAY??????????

- aka that one scene in infinity war

youtube

moving on

"y/n, your room is set up. i'm gonna finish up here with pete and then we can go get cheeseburgers. deal?"

- you smile and nod, giving tony a kiss on the cheek (signature stark move)

- (i'm sad now)

- (fuck)

- you start to walk off and look over at peter

"it was nice meeting you, peter"

- mans is like Oh! Who? Me!

"oH- uh- y- yeah, it was nice meeting you, too"

- you give him a small smile and walk up the stairs out of the lab

- fucking dopey ass smile on your face because YOU JUST MET CUTE BOY SPIDERMAN AND HES CUTE AND HOT AND KJSDFHKSDJF FUCK!!!!!!!!!!

- peter looks back from watching you walk away and makes sure you're out of earshot

- fyi his ears are like Red Red and homeboy looks WHIPPED

- silly goose. fools fall in love

"i-um, i didn't know you had a niece?"

- tony just kind of scoffs

- very original reaction, tony! Never Been Done before, Especially by you! Wow!

"and i didn't realize how little time it takes for you to fall in love. i mean the bar was low but, jeez, kid"

"wait- no- i'm not in love"

"hmm okay. but if i catch you pulling something i will not hesitate to say i told you s-"

"no- yeah- that won't be, uh, that won't be a problem, mr stark"

- yeah tell that to your FACE peter

- he's like No! Of Course Not! meanwhile his face is just 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

- why are emojis so goddamn funny. they're the stupidest shits ever but i love them so much

- ANYWAYS!

- you go to your room and unpack and everything and yeahyeah whatever

- btw tony Knows you so when he first moved into the headquarters he immediately set aside a room for you with a view he knew you'd love and like all ur favorite things (posters, comfy bed and pillows and blankets, any instruments u like to play etc) because Uncle Tony is Bae Man

- then tony like sticks his head in and knocks on the doorframe

- ur like "hola!" (soy dora!)

- is that what she says? fuck idk i didn't take spanish and have the memory of a breadcrumb anyways!

"y/n i think you made my intern fall in love with you"

- bro Huh?????????/

- cute random slash ryn! Very Good At Typing!

"what on earth do you mean?"

- on the inside though ur like YEAHYEAH

- MOVING ON I'M GETTING A BIT DETAILED AND IT'S CONFUSING MY DICKHEAD OF A BRAIN

- you and tony get cheeseburgers yeahyeah okay

- so you have the whole week in nyc right

- guess what

- guess

- the fuck

- what

- can i just make my goddamn point already goodness gracious

- these hcs are literally me just writing down every single thought i have while writing these

- you guys do be living rent free in my brain 0_0

- OH MY GOD ANYWAYS

- you best BELIEVE peter is at headquarters

- every

- fucking

- day

- YEAHYEAH

- now the whole reason for that is

- when you got back from the Cheeseburger Extravaganza! tony called peter and was like

"sup bitch"

- i'm kidding

"kid listen my niece needs a friend and at this point maybe even a boyfriend. she hasn't managed to pull anyone yet and you'd be a nice fit ANYWAYS come over tomorrow and show her around new york"

- now, hearing this, peter cannot breathe

- internal monologue be like holyhdhdjhksjdbfhitshitskjfdbjfk

- basically me

- my thoughts

- ✨always✨

- the inner snape in me just came out SORRY

- I JUST MADE MY SCREEN SMALL WHAT THEFUDBS

- oh i fixed it

- okay so YEAH

- peter wakes up next morning and pays SO MUCH ATTENTION TO THE WAY HE LOOKS

- puts on his best science pun tee (i love him so much wtf) and makes sure his hair is just right

- aunt may is like o_0

- Hmm...... something Hinky is going on!

(once you get your bearings, find the carpet that covers the taillight, peel back the carpet, make a fist, punch the taillight out the back of the car, thus creating a hole in the back of the automobile, then stick your little hand out and wave to oncoming motorists to let them know that something hinky is going on!)

- bae man john mulaney

- i can't hear or even fucking THINK of the word hinky without thinking of detective jj bittenbinder STREETSMARTS

- shut up! you're all gonna dieSTREETSMARTS

- guys i'm starting to think i have ADHD

- oh my god okay BACK TO THE FUCKING STORY COME ON KAMRYN

- writing my full/actual name on here felt weird as fuck. dunno how often i'll be doing that okay anyways

- peter gets to headquarters and is immediately met by thor

"ah, the spider!"

0_0

"sir stark said something about you coming today to show madam y/n around the city!"

- thor gives peter the biggest pat on the back and peter Does Not Know How To Act

"uh, yeah, that's um.. that's what i'm doing"

- thor smiles (the smile he gives hulk in that one scene in ragnarok makes me LOSE MY MIND it's so FUNNY)

- can my cat stop rubbing her face on my laptop goddamn

- I MADE MY SCREEN SMALL AGAIN WTF

- okay reset ANYWAYS

- take a shot every time i say anyways

- hi i'm editing this imagine rn and according to ctrl+f i wrote "anyways" 20 times. time to get blackout drunk and chug a bottle of perfume everyone!

- Not Me with the john mulaney reference Again!

- thor's like "go get em kid"

- peters like "y-yeah thanks"

- gets in the elevator and he's still so flustered and confused and anxious

- his voice fucking CRACKS when he asks friday to take him to your floor

- why is it so cute when boys' voices crack wtf

- when he reaches ur door his heart is like WANNA SEE SUM REAL SPEED? 4.0

- he just knocks quietly and ur like "yeah?"

- ohgodohfuckohgodohfuckohgodohfuck

- peter opens the door and the LOOK ON HIS FACE

- he (⊙ˍ⊙)

- as soon as you see him you go into Fight Or Flight ur like (ง •_•)ง...?

- but u regain ur composure cause ur a stark 😎

"oh, hi peter!"

"hey, um,"

- he like slowly walks in

- mans is So Unsure of what he's allowed to do

- ur just like My Man it is OKAY

"mr. stark- your uncle-"

- yes peter i know hes my uncle

"so i said to her, 'we've been married for three and a half years.' and she knew that."

no i will not stop with the john mulaney quotes do not even try me (Do Not Fuck With Me)

"told me to show you around new york today"

- ur like O Shit Okay?

- you already know tony is tryna pull some SHIT because this is deadass like the idk..... at LEAST tenth time you've been to new york??????

- you tell peter you'll be ready in a few and he just cautiously sits on your bed cause he's so unsure of everything (babey)

- the two of you talk about the whole story about you and tony and stuff

"so yeah then he moved to new york and i've just been visiting him for a week once a year"

"wait"

- you look over, aggressively shoving on ur shoes and peter's just Thinking

"if you've been here before then why does mr. stark want me to show you around"

- you shrug

"he's weird like that"

- so ANYWAYS (take a shot!)

- ur ready n stuff so the two of you leave

- sam is being himself ofc so he starts clapping for the two of you and whooping as you walk past

- bucky starts clapping too but he doesn't know what he's clapping for so he's just looking around like o_0? 👏

- (he eventually sees the two of you though and smiles SO BRIGHT)

- sam's like

"I KNOW THE TWO OF YOU JUST MET BUT DAMN Y/N'S BEEN NEEDING A MAN!"

- you turn and almost beat the Fuck out of that bird-man ur like:

┗|｀O′|┛

- WHY IS THT SO FUNYNJFDN

we ┗|｀O′|┛┗|｀O′|┛┗|｀O′|┛┗|｀O′|┛┗|｀O′|┛

WHAT THE FUCKDBGKDJFGNSKDJFNHEHAHHFSBJDFA

┗|｀O′|┛I'M WALKIN HERE!

- oh my god ANYWAYS (TAKE A SHOT)

- tony just chillin in the back with a smug look on his face

- so you guys just start walking through the streets and peter just points out random things

"this is where an old lady gave me a churro"

"right up there is where i did a flip for this guy at a hot dog cart"

"i hung a bike robber right here- oh shoot well like i didn't hang him but i like suspended him in the air.. with my web.... if you, uh, know what i'm sayingi'mgonnastoptalkingnow"

- ur like bitch if you keep acting like this (aka like yourself) imma start Acting Up

- it's Too Cute

- the two of you take the subway to get to queens so he can show you around His Area Of New York

- which is a whole experience cause it's

- the fucking

- subway

- in new york

- you see a subway rat and you get SO EXCITED

- the fucking brightest smile is on your face and peter just looks at you in awe because it's a fucking rat but for some reason you got so happy over it???????

- the subway car was PACKED AS HELL (aka peter. we all know it)

- (there's NO WAY peter's dick is small moving on)

- so the two of you are forced to hold onto the pole things

- and since cali doesn't have subways and subway poles are not something you generally see

- does it? i've never fucking been there i shouldn't be spitting facts that probably aren't actually facts

- for the sake of this imagine california does not have subways

😌

- you decide to Pull a Move and fucking wrap your leg around it, laughing as you spin slightly

- very ungracefully might i add

- we're talking about y/n. the Clumsy Messy Hair Bitch from every goddamn book on this app

- can we talk about how y/n is a whole ass character. like ask anyone who reads fanfic to describe y/n and they Would Not describe themselves DESPITE THE FACT THAT Y/N LITERALLY MEANS "YOUR NAME"

- anyways (two shots of vodka *glug glug*)

- peter gets slightly flustered at your stripper move but covers it up with a laugh

- something about The Way peter's holding onto the pole above ur head is VERY ATTRACTIVE

- now is the time to go look back at the gif i used for this imagine

"what's a camera like you doing in a place like this?"

- fuck you tom for being cute shut up

- the car stumbles and

- CLICHE MOMENT ALERT y'all know what's going on

- you stumble slightly and peter (speedy spidey reflexes) quickly grabs you by the waist to steady you

- AWKWARD MOMENT

- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"thanks"

"oh- yeah, uh, no problem"

- he like... awkwardly pulls his hand away from your waist and suddenly his hand feels like a fucking lead balloon with No Purpose so he just stuffs it in his pocket because Pockets!

- you lowkey wish he'd kept his hand on your waist OOPS

- we desperate for human contact 😔

- the two of y'all get off the subway at his stop and as soon as you step out into the like Actual Street or Whatever you're like 😀 cause it's so PRETTY and it's peter's home so it's even more exciting

- you get lunch at delmar's (ofc)

- mr delmar kept making suggestive eyes between the two of you so you were like o_0

- but it was SO CUTE BECAUSE PETER AND MR DELMAR JUST HAD SUCH A CUTE RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER

- AND FUCKING MR DELMAR HAD THE BALLS TO GO

"supongo que ya no preguntarás por mi hija, eh?"

- WHICH

- IF YOU DON'T SPEAK SPANISH CAUSE I SURE AS HELL DON'T

- thank u google translate for the assistance😌

- TRANSLATES TO "guess you won't be asking about my daughter anymore, huh?"

como estas tu hija eh?

that'll be ten dollars

IT'S FIVE DOLLARS

- anyways (shots! shots! shots shots shots shots! shots!)

- ur like Bro Huh and peter's like NOTHING

- and fucking 🅱ETER

- this BITCH

- ALSO HAD THE BALLS TO FUCKING REPLY IN SPANISH

"ella es la hija del señor stark" (she's mr. stark's daughter)

- ngl you couldn't breathe for a second

- cause who The Fuck can when 🅱eter 🅱ucking 🅱arker speaks ESPAÑOL

- ????????????? WHO

- moving on (not saying a****** to give you a break from the shots you're welcome)

- you get your sandwiches and they fucking SLAP

- peter smiles SO HARD WHEN HE SEES YOUR REACTION CAUSE HE'S SO EXCITED THAT YOU LIKE HIS FAVORITE SANDWICH (not you saying "i'll have what he has" just because you were too busy thinking about him speaking spanish oops)

- the two of you share a bag of gummy worms

- overall 11/10 experience

- i got a bit carried away with that and we're running on over 3000 (rip) words here so i'm gonna hurry this up goodness fuck

- editing ryn here to say HAHA 3000 words little did i Fucking Know

- the two of you get back to headquarters and peter DROPS YOU OFF AT YOUR ROOM LIKE THE GENTLEMAN HE IS AND IT'S KINDA AWKWARD BECAUSE HOW ON EARTH WOULDN'T IT BE BUT HE'S SO CUTE SO IT'S OKAY

- ngl you lay on your bed for a second like "wait was that a date?"

- peter legit just walks to the end of the hallway before closing his eyes and leaning back against the wall, letting out a sigh

- he's like holy shit i need to stop getting so whipped over girls within less than 24 hours

- then fucking sir STANK rounds the corner

"hey, pete! how was showing short-circuit around?"

"oh, hi, uh, it was good"

- this boy is fucking Flustered As Hell

"good? good. what'd y'all do?"

"we, just, um, walked around and i showed her around queens, too"

- tony just looks at him for a second and is like damn this kid needs a break i'll lay off of him

- so like the Cool Guy he is he like awkwardly pats peter on the shoulder and walks over to your room

- u and tones have a convo about your day and you end up gushing about it a little bit OOPS

- tony is so proud of himself him and his egotistical ass Goodness

- a n y w a y s ( t a k e a s h o t ! )

- peter ends up coming over everyday because It's Summer! and he has No Life!

- just thought i'd let you know that i have spent the last couple days binge watching bestdressed's videos and now everything i write down is being narrated by ashley

- actually fuck that everything i THINK is narrated by ashley

- also can we gush about her in the comments like she seems like the coolest person ever and like the big sister i never had and she's so open about her life and funny and quirky but in a good way and i just have So Much Respect For Her!!!!!!!!!!!

- and i want her apartment SO BAD I'M LITERALLY OBSESSED WITH IT

- THE FUCKING FIRE ESCAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- not me having a weird obsession with fire escapes ever since reading/writing peter parker fics which tend to involve them in some way or another

- SO YEAH peter's hanging around a lot

- at first it's a bit weird cause you're like..... You Don't Live Here.....??????????? but At This Point You Almost Do????????????????

- AIN'T NO COMPLAINTS THOUGH

- the two of you break the ice pretty quick

- the night of the day after peter showed you around (did that make any sense at all probably not) you were just chilling in your room watching uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

- let me think rq

- um okay uhhhhhh (bonus points to you if you read that in peter's voice)

- OKAY SO YOU'RE WATCHING LADY BIRD (bomb movie)

- fun fact time! i like saying "what you do is very baller" at random times because idk why but that line makes me laugh SO HARD

- timothee's character in general was just..... so............

- ????????????

- yeah so you're watching lady bird and peter passes your doorway cause he was "going on a walk"

- headass

- you see him and ur like o_0

"peter?"

- bitch fucking TRIPS

- oh u got me trippinnnnn oh stumblinnnnn oh flippinnnnnnn oh fumblinnnn oh

- clumsy cause i'm falling in ~love~

- are those the right lyrics? eh whatever

- CANADA EH

youtube

ah the serotonin.. okay MOVING ON

"y-yeah? oH hi y/n didntuhhhhhhh didn't see you there"

- he's casually scratching the back of his neck because he's nervy

"yeah, i'm, um..."

- YOU'RE NERVY TOO

- composure equals regained though bc stark. yeah!

- my thoughts are........ incoherent

"i'm watching lady bird, uh, if you wanna join"

- WATCH A MOVIE?

- WITH YOU?????????????????

- hells yeah!

"o-oh, yeah, sure"

- mans awkwardly waddles in and sits at the edge of your bed

"you can like... lay down, peter. i don't bite"

- he just awkwardly lays down and his side lightly presses against yours

- you have to shut your eyes for a second because MAN does unexpected contact from a boy have such a big effect on you

- not even kidding one of my guy friends patted me on the head as he walked past my desk and i DEADASS GOT BUTTERFLIES I WAS SO ASHAMED

- LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WHO ALLOWED THAT ???????????????

- so anyways (🥂)

- why isn't there a shot glass emoji this is discrimination (i'm kidding)

- the movie was great like

- you and peter would just laugh at random parts and eventually just started critiquing every little moment

- it ended up as a very great moment very nice very cool

- we like furthering our relationships with cute boys :D

- those of you who have been following the story (on my message board) abt the boy i'm talking to aka furthering my relationship with... yeahyeah!

- essentially you and peter start hanging out every day

- the Chemistry you have is Unmatched

- like you just clicked really well

- mainly y'all just watch tv in the commons

- you binge watch i'm not okay with this even though you've already seen it

- peter's like "so why do you like this show so much?"

- ur like 0_0 ... "the plot"

THE PLOT IN QUESTION: stanley barber

- who happens to give me peter parker vibes a little bit

- food network turns on and it takes you like five minutes tops to migrate to the kitchen

- the brownies y'all made did not turn out well

- bucky took a bite, made a face, then smirked

"you two put weed in here?"

- no, bitch, we just suck at baking

- lots of late night convos ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- BIG ICEBREAKERS THERE

"wait so like... how big do you expect our dicks to be"

"peter what the fuck"

"i'm curious!"

- if you haven't had one of those convos with someone of the opposite gender... You Haven't Lived

- also why do guys like talking about their dicks so much???? the amount of comments they make about them during those convos.. meanwhile i'm just trying to figure out their personality 😔

- the two of you even spend time in the lab together

- this is when he sees ~short-circuit~ in action

- y'all are doing some dumbass experiment idk

- OOH IDEA

- so y'all are making ✨something✨ for an upgrade on peter's suit

- my idea was only half developed don't make fun of me

- and you make a Stunning Realization and fucking SPIN around in your chair to face peter

- ur just rambling making science-y smart connections and peters like holy shit she's a fucking genius of course she is how on earth did she just

- and then as you get further into your discovery you suddenly just cut off and stare into the distance with this Super Serious Look on your face

- THE WAY THAT AS I WROTE "SUPER" 1D WENT "I CAN'T BE NO SUPERMAN"

(but for you i'll be superhuman!)

- then you just SPIN AROUND in your chair and start working on the suit again

- peter's just like 0_0 for a moment

"huh, okay"

- it takes you a few seconds to realize he even said anything but then you look up and ur like 0_0 (we're gonna have to start taking a shot every time i use that face goodness fuck)

"what?"

"you short-circuited!"

- he's all giddy and smiley about it too cause he FINALLY UNDERSTANDS

"shut up, parker"

- peter Totally has a thing for being called parker i just know it

- MY CAT JUST JUMPED UP AND CLAWED ME

- greedy bitch

- AS I WAS SAYING...

- once you get in the ~thing~ that you designed for the suit

- okay i really need to think of an actual upgrade give me a min

- OKAY SO YOU MADE A VOICE CHANGER

- wow very cool, me! innovation that Excites!

- we're just gonna ignore the fact that the interrogation protocol has a voice changer got it? yeahyeah

- peter's like No Way when you tell him you finished it

- you slip on the mask and tell karen to activate the Grown Man Protocol (not peter being offended by the name)

- you start talking and immediately BUST OUT LAUGHING because you sound like Siri

- and since you're Hella Genius you made it so you could change the voices just like how siri is

- so suddenly you're a BRITISH MAN

- you and peter can't stop laughing

- you give it to peter and then you're like

"wait no try it on with the suit too"

- peter's like o_0?

"for effect!"

- walter beckett?

- TOM?

- okay whatever

- peter's like

"okay um i'm just gonna uh... change over here"

- you nod and turn around

- just the sound of his clothes hitting the ground itself gives you butterflies

- and then you realize

- you can deadass See Him Through The Reflection Of The Microscope

- is that even possible? for the sake of this imagine Yes

- your face gets SO HOT

- it's a very small reflective area thing so not a lot of detail but ENOUGH TO SHOW HIS TONED SEXY ASS PHYSIQUE

- fucking crush me peter please i beg it would be an honor

"i want you to do it so i can stomp you with my hooves, i'm so fucking crazy"

- (crazy for you, peter!)

"okay it's on"

- you practically BLAST around in your seat because the VOICE IS WORKING AND IT'S STILL BRITISH

- peter your tom is showing

- ngl though you couldn't stop thinking about how peter looked through the reflection and you didn't even want to THINK about how he would look-

...

- you know

- in all actuality you did want to think about it like think about it for literally the rest of your life if you could but we're gonna ignore that

- nonetheless the experience was Muy Bueno Very Fun and you and peter spent a solid hour just messing with the voices

- ALSO!!!!!!!!!! another plotline: WHEN PETER'S AT HEADQUARTERS FOR A LEGITIMATE REASON

- that reason being training

- let me just say

- even though he only trained twice during ur visit

- you fucking CHERISHED those moments

- because when peter told you the night before his training session that he would be training in the morning you were like Hmm...... I Need To See This

- so you deadass "take a walk" (Very Peter Of You) by the training room

- and ur met with the sight of this:

i hate him so fucking much

who the FUCK ALLOWED THIS i can't breathe

- you definitely take out your phone to snap a few pics DON'T EVEN LIE TO ME YOU WOULD

- ur camera is on live mode too 😌

- then you run away before you get caught but DAMN

- when you go back to your room you just Inspect those pics like a crazy person and keep replaying the live

- then u look at the time

"friday, when does peter's training end?"

"peter parker's training is scheduled to finish in two minutes"

- TWO MINUTES?

- SAY LESS!

- you check yourself in the mirror before ZOOMING downstairs and distracting yourself in the kitchen

- silently thanking the gods (thor?) that no one was in the kitchen when you got there

- (hi i'm getting carried away with this mini plot so just like don't mind it)

- (carried away as in i really really did get carried away LOL)

- you're like what the fuck i can't just Stand Here in the Middle of the Kitchen so you grab some strawberries from the refrigerator and start cutting them up (they just Taste Better that way don't fight me) for a "snack"

THE SNACK IN QUESTION: peter

- yeah ❤

- just as you pop one into your mouth peter walks in to get a glass of water

- now let me just set the scene:

you: mouth in a weird 'o' shape as your mouth forgets how to chew because fucking peter just walked in peter: curly hair a sweaty mess, skin glistening with sweat, wearing black shorts and a gray tank top which Just Fucking Ends You, his usual adorable baby face, oh and he's also panting cause he's fucking exhausted and now you're also out of breath because damn that is Hot strawberries: chopped

"oh, hi y/n"

- the fucking PANTING

- why is breathing heavy so hot?

- i think we all know

"hey, peter"

- shoutout to your stark genes for giving you fake confidence whenever you need it

"want any strawberries?"

- he fucking chugs half of his water just Right In Front Of You

the jawline i hate him so much can he shut up right now like genuinely please shut the fuck up goodness fucking gracious tom

jk please step on me

- he swallows and has Finally Caught his Breath

"oh, yeah, thank you"

- he just walks over to you

- as if he doesn't look the way he does

- and just grabs a strawberry and pops it into his mouth

- nonchalantly or whatever

- you pray to THOR he can't hear your heart as it fucking SLAMS AGAINST YOUR STERNUM

- it's beating so fast it's like LET ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- he hums

"strawberries taste so much better after training"

- you know what would taste better after training?

- lol

"thank you for the snack, i'm gonna go shower now"

- he elbows you and smiles lightly

- you almost can't speak because it's all Far Too Much for you to handle rn

"no problem, peter"

- as if you weren't having a heart attack okay

- i really got caught up in that but WHATEVER

- ladies and gents we are running on over 5k words at this point holy shit

- SO I'M GONNA START WRAPPING THIS UP A LITTLE

- basically you and peter become good friends by the end of your trip

- and then

- the dreaded

😔

- time to leave, bros

- the night before is kinda weird cause you and peter are just hanging out on the roof of headquarters because why not

"leaving new york usually doesn't feel as weird as this"

- peter looks over at you

- btw at this point 🅱eter is Beyond Whipped so he's fucking SAD that you're going home

"what do you mean?"

- the two of you share a look and it's very sad because you both know that you've become really good friends and both want a bit more

- part of you considers being a baddie and just trying to like at LEAST kiss him tonight (maybe more wink wink) so you could at least have that before you go but you chicken out

- the two of you say goodbye that night because your flight is at the Crack of Dawn

- he awkwardly pulls you in for a hug and suddenly you deeply consider locking yourself in your room so nobody can make you leave

- and then you remember vision can fucking Hover through walls and you're like Well Damn!

- you hug him tightly (a bit too tight yeah maybe)

- when you pull apart this Bitch literally goes

"well it was nice meeting you"

- you CAN'T FUCKING HOLD IT IN AND JUST MAKE THE MOST OBSCENE LAUGHING NOISE

"peter we spent a week together and you're acting like we had a 5 minute encounter"

"i don't know how to act!"

- me neither, peter. me neither

- so you leave in the morning and you're fucking UPSET

- tony is in the car with you and happy and he WONT STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU AND PETER BECAUSE YOU SPENT AT LEAST HALF OF YOUR TIME WITH HIM

- YOU'RE LIKE SHUT UP I'M GOING THROUGH A HEARTBREAK OVER A BOY I'VE KNOWN FOR SEVEN DAYS

- aren't we all

- your goodbye to tony is sad but like Not Even As Sad as your goodbye with peter which is KINDA MESSED UP BUT

- the heart wants what it wants

- and just when you get on the plane

- is when you realize

- you and peter didn't get each other's numbers

...

- Wtf 💔

- so THE WHOLE PLANE RIDE IS SAD

- YOU LISTEN TO MUSIC AND DRAMATICALLY LOOK OUT THE WINDOW LIKE UR IN A SAD MUSIC VIDEO FOR HALF THE FLIGHT

- YOU ALSO REWATCH LADY BIRD :,(((((((((((((((((((((((( in remembrance of the good old times

- when you get home you're like kinda happy to be home but you miss new york and tony and peter and everyone So Much

- even ur mom notices she's like 🤨 Hmm... this Ain't The Usual!

- so this is where the request ended off but i'm adding to it because i do Not want to leave this on an angsty note

- I'M ABOUT TO HIT 6K WORDS BUT IT'S FINE

- LET'S CRANK THIS OUT WOOT WOOT

- so peter just so happens to wake up that morning and SIT UP VERY QUICKLY AS IT HITS HIM

- (ur like on ur flight probably zooming over the Goddamn Midwest)

- he has the same realization that you did

"may!"

- the woman RUNS in she's like WHATISEVERYTHINGOKAYAREYOUOKAY

"i just realized i didn't get y/n's number"

- woman melts she's like i thought you were fucking DYING goddamn spider bitch boy

- but then she melts even more because she didn't even need peter to tell her how Whipped he is

"awh, i'm sorry hon"

- next time peter goes to headquarters he talks to tony and the mans just like This Is Your Fault!

- but then nat pops in

"peter, you do realize you could probably find her on social media, right"

- moment of silence for you and peter's stupidity because somehow Neither Of You Thought Of That???????????

- rip

- as soon as he leaves from training (looking Sexy As Hell) he searches your name on instagram

- "y/n stark"

- and nothing shows up

- because you never told him your actual last name because IT NEVER CAME UP

- he just assumed it was stark cause why wouldn't he

- SO HE'S LIKE :,)

- until his next time at headquarters

"mr. stark i couldn't find her on instagram"

- tony's like i really got this kid hooked huh

"pretty sure she has one, pete"

"well i looked her up! y/n stark. nothing"

- then tony's like oHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"kid, her last name's l/n."

- peter just sits there like 0_0 for a second before it all ties together in his head and makes sense

"oh my god"

- SO HE GETS YOUR INSTAGRAM

- he definitely looks through all his posts and deletes a few embarrassing ones before requesting to follow you

INSTAGRAM peterbparker has requested to follow you.

- you SHOOT UP IN YOUR BED

- NOBODY MOVE

- you do the same thing peter did and look through all your posts and delete a few before accepting his request

- and then you request back and he immediately accepts it

- commence the hour of stalking!

- the two of you just fucking Investigate each others' accounts before peter's like O Shit! i should Probably message her!

peterbparker: Right after you left I realized I forgot to get your number

- kinda awkward but your heart is RACING you're like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- the two of you begin talking and get each other's numbers and snapchats and whatever

- over time the two of you get really close over the internet like

- you become the first ones you go to when you see a dog or get food at a cool place or see a funny meme/tiktok or just like have a problem in general or want to talk

- and ofc you gush about him to your friends and they're like

- Girl... u really fell for a New York Boy Huh

- after a few months you finally muster up the courage to facetime him

- you almost Collapse once his face shows up because guess the fuck what

- he just finished training

- mua ha haaaa

"hello!"

- he says it all goofy like hi hello we're facetiming now holy shit oh FUCK we're FACETIMING!!!!!!?????!?!?!?!?

- i luv him

- the two of you talk for a bit and you fan yourself off-screen because the sight of him Genuinely made you light on fire and plus you were just nervous in general

- he even runs around the entire fucking building to find everyone so you can say hi cause he's babey

- the team DEFINITELY yells stuff like "lovebirds!" and "date already!" in the background and peter's face just gets So Red

- he finds tony and deadass goes

"mr. stark! it's your niece!"

- tony's like No Shit!

- overall amazing 100/10 time facetiming

- so the two of you start facetiming practically every day even though it's not summer anymore and you're back in school and have hella busy lives (peter's literally a superhero?)

- you'll facetime while doing homework and he'll help you with physics (even though you don't really need the help you pretend you do anyways) and it's so cute when he does because he Loves physics so much so he gets really excited and into it

- sometimes you'll fall asleep while on ft and he'll take screenshots

- ngl he set his favorite one as his lockscreen because he loved it so much and ned and mj definitely saw it and were lowkey like 🥺🥺 cause they ship you two so hard

- and when he'd fall asleep on ft you'd take screenshots too and look at them every time you missed him

- NOW THE EXCITING PART

- so it's winter now

- the Horrible Disgusting period between thanksgiving and christmas break

- because of finals the two of you facetime a bit less so it's kinda sad

- BUT THEN

- right when you get out of school for christmas break you're about to call peter so the two of you can celebrate (not peter checking the time every few minutes after he got out of school because he's a couple hours ahead)

- somebody's got a surprise

- you get a call from peter right when you get into your car and you're like Perfect Timing Hell Yeah

- you answer it and are met with the sight of him and tony smiling at the camera

*immediately screenshots it*

"oh, hi tony!"

"we have a surprise"

- peter's like bouncing from excitement and tony gives him a look before starting to talk

"we're fl-"

"WE'RE FLYING YOU TO NEW YORK FOR CHRISTMAS!"

- peter interrupts and tony looks so defeated but YOU BARELY EVEN NOTICE BECAUSE YOU'RE SO EXCITED

- tony explains everything cause he worked it out with your parents (y'all are just gonna celebrate early)

- (tony doesn't say this but deadass the reason ur parents even let you is because they know how much you wanna go back mainly to see peter)

- eventually tony leaves the two of you alone to talk and you're just in your car in the school parking lot practically yelling at your phone as you and peter talk about how excited you are

"and you can finally meet may-"

"may!"

"yes, may! and we can go back to delmar's and see murph-"

"murph!"

- peter can't stop smiling cause you're so excited and you look so cute cause you're Trying Your Best to get out of the parking lot while maintaining excitement

"can we go see times sq- MOTHERFUCKER GET OUT OF THE WAY JESUS CHRI- sorry peter i didn't mean to explode"

- if anything that made you even cuter in his eyes

- you and peter facetime while you pack and neither of you can handle your excitement AT ALL

- the night before you leave you're both in your beds across the country just talking quietly to each other over the phone and it's like the quiet cute excitement because you're seeing each other in less than 24 hours and you're both so so whipped by each other and just Cannot Wait

- it's really late ESPECIALLY for peter since he's ahead of you but he doesn't care at ALL

- so y'all are just whispering to each other

"i'm so excited, pete"

"i know, me too"

"i'm not gonna know how to act"

"me neither. you're not allowed to make fun of how awkward i am, okay?"

"peter, you being awkward is cute"

- the two of you can barely sleep from excitement but you fall asleep (on ft ofc) with smiles on your faces

- as soon as you wake up you text peter and you're like GO GO GO (spinch🥬spinch🥬spinch🥬)

- you call him one last time while you're waiting at the gate

"i think i'm gonna pee myself"

"well if you do at least clean yourself up before i get there"

- his LAUGH

- the boyish laugh that FUcking Ends Me

"i'm still so amazed at how i managed to convince mr. stark to let me pick you up"

- you can't stop smiling especially at the thought of peter DRIVING (hot as FUCK)

"you'd better be a good driver, peter"

"it's fine, the car has autopilot so we won't die"

"glad to hear it, pete- oh sHIT my plane's boarding"

- peter FREAKS OUT

"have a safe and amazing flight and text me when you land, okay?"

"i will peter, thank you. see you in new york"

"see you in new york"

- y'all say that in the most Giddy Way (literally how could you not)

- you're bouncing in your seat the whole flight and the dude next to you is like o_0

- the SECOND you land you text peter

y/n: IM HERE IM HERE WE JUST LANDED ILL BE OFF THE PLANE IN A FEW MINUTES

- peter's sitting in this Far Too Expensive Car and he's just bouncing in his seat cause he has so much pent up energy

- he gets the text and that's when it really settles in

- he starts freaking out a little and like constantly checks himself in the rearview mirror and starts playing the playlist the two of you made together (puppy eyes) and makes sure he smells good

- then he sees you walk out out of the airport looking really excited and tired and confused

- mans JUMPS OUT OF THE CAR

"y/n!"

- you see him and ur literally smiling SO HARD

- you run at him, suitcase flopping around and backpack nearly falling off of your shoulders

- but you look so cute and peter can't handle it especially when the two of you finally make contact and your arms wrap around him

- he squeezes you so tight and even lifts you off the ground cause he's Strong and Excited

- that sounded a bit sexual OOPS

- you can't even process the fact that you're finally back in peter's arms after half a year and now you're literally so much closer than you were when you left new york last summer

- when you pull apart you can't stop looking at each other and just smiling giddily

- your arms are still like holding onto each other

- what finally breaks you is a fucking Ungodly gust of wind and you're like

"holy shit winter here is a lot colder than cali"

"oH, right, uh we have blankets in the car"

- the two of you just take another few seconds to look at each other until it gets a bit awkward and you clear your throats

"i can take your bag?"

"yeah, thanks"

- you watch his muscles flex as he lifts your suitcase into the back and you're like i hate this man

- this GENTLEMAN even RUNS OVER TO YOUR SIDE AND OPENS YOUR DOOR FOR YOU BEFORE YOU GET THE CHANCE

- you MELT

- when you sit down he closes the door for you and you're hit with the sound of your shared playlist and the car smells like peter's scent and it's AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- when he gets into the driver seat (which was very attractive to watch) you're just staring at him excitedly

"you put on our playlist!"

"why wouldn't i?"

- he smiles at you before reaching back and getting the blankets for you, also turning on your seat heater to make sure you're comfy

- mans just watches you as you shift around, buckling in and getting your backpack situated at your feet

- by the time you're all ready and stuff you look over and he's just looking at you

"pete-"

"would it be too soon for me to kiss you?"

- AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- it takes you a second to process but you're like OH MY GODKFSDKNFSK

"yeah, peter, it would"

- your serious tone RUINS PETER

- HE'S LIKE OH MY GOD WHY DID I ASK THAT WHY DO I EXIST

- until you laugh and wrap a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him to you and planting your lips on his

- (AAAAAAAAAAHDKSJDFHSKJDFBKSDJGNSDKJFNADSJKABBJFS)

- bonus: the two of you are just singing in the car and (peter looks so hot when he's driving anyways) peter suddenly goes silent and you're like "what" and he just glances at you before going "is it bad that i really want to pull over so i can kiss you again?"

- double bonus: he pulls over and y'all makeout LOL

+ + +

holy FUCK i got so so carried away but i really like this one soooooo

OKAY HERE'S MY LITTLE THANK YOU NOTE IN HONOR OF THE 50TH IMAGINE AAAAAAAAAA: you GUYS. when i started this book it was literally just me being like "i'm in love with this fictional boy and need an outlet and have FAR too many ideas," which is really how every fanfic writer starts tbh. but oh my god, i never expected to get so much love and support and just such an amazing experience from this. there are people all over the world that read my chaotic fluffy shit, that are actually touched by my work and it legitimately blows my mind. 180k reads in almost a year? like 250 followers? INSANE. i've made so many friends on here that i can come to when i have no one in my real life to talk to and every time i reach out, you guys are here for me and so incredibly supportive and helpful and amazing. i love each and every comment you guys post on my works. they make me laugh so hard and are so beyond sweet and make my heart melt. some of them blow my mind cause you guys will be like "omg hi you responded oh my god i love your work" and like hype me so much and i'm like BRUH!!!! i'm literally just a stressed out, anxiety ridden teenage girl in love with peter parker lol and the fact that you guys support me so much and love my work just truly makes me so happy. i love writing and i love that my writing has reached other people, even if it's literally just silly fanfiction. I APPRECIATE AND LOVE YOU GUYS WITH EVERYTHING IN ME AND EVEN IF I DON'T REPLY TO YOUR COMMENT I SEE IT AND YOU GUYS MAKE ME SMILE AND AAAAAAAAAAAKJSDFNKJDF <33333333333333

okay now i have 5 more requests to write HAHA but i hope u guys are having an amazing day/night/whatever and that ur drinking enough water and eating enough and staying happy and healthy <3 MWAH!

#peter parker #tom holland #peter parker imagines #marvel #mcu #spiderman #peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #fanfic #fluff #writing #peter #parker #thomas holland

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garbagequeer · 6 years ago

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hey hello im writing a piece for laptop ensemble that involves sampling and i need the most repressed/tender/yearning quotes you got. just as gay and heart wrenching as you can. but also no pressure I know youre a stranger on the web I just feel like you post that kind of stuff a lot thank you bye

hope this isnt like too late school keeps me busy :( (also can you put a read more on asks? guess i’ll find out). i ended up choosing many quotes from the same texts cause im indecisive as shit but i’ll bold my favorites from those in case that makes it easier for you!

anyways first of all you can never go wrong w richard siken as obvious as that is. these are both from you are jeff

You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you’ve done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired. You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you don’t even have a name for.

Let’s say you’ve swallowed a bad thing and now it’s got its hands inside you. This is the essence of love and failure. You see what I mean but you’re happy anyway, and that’s okay, it’s a love story

this one’s from planet of love (the format got fucked bc tumblr is not actually a finctional website but :/ )

I have a megaphone and you play along, because you want to die for love, you always have. Imagine this:You’re pulling the car over. Somebody’s waiting. You’re going to die in your best friend’s arms. And you play along because it’s funny, because it’s written down,you’ve memorized it,

from litany in which certain things are crossed out

I make you pancakes, I take you hunting, I talk to you as if you’re really there.Are you there, sweetheart? Do you know me? Is this microphone live? Let me do it right for once,

sorry about the scene at the bottom of the stairwell and how I ruined everything by saying it out loud. Especially that, but I should have known.You see, I take the parts that I remember and stitch them back together to make a creature that will do what I sayor love me back.

We were inside the train car when I started to cry. You were crying too, smiling and crying in a way that made meeven more hysterical. You said I could have anything I wanted, but I just couldn’t say it out loud.Actually, you said Love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. It’s like a religion. It’s terrifying. No one will ever want to sleep with you.

from snow and dirty rain

I had a dream about you. We were in the gold roomwhere everyone finally gets what they want.

that scene from when harry met sally where sally says:

One day I was taking Alice’s little girl fro the afternoon. I’d promised to take her to the circus, and we were in a cab playing “I spy” - you know, “I spy a lamppost”, “I spy a mailbox” - and she looked out the window and there was this man and this woman with two little kids, and the man had one of the kids on his shoulders, and Alice’s little girl said “I spy a family”, and I satrted crying, you know? I just started crying, and I went home

(like anyone else sometimes cries when u see a family doing something nice? is it because i want to participate in a sense of family of my own but have been excluded as a gay person from it’s portrayals and it makes me go :^( cause i dont feel there’s room for me there but i want there to be and i just have to long for this nuclear family heteronormative way of life that i’ve been made to believe is idylic? is it because my parents got divorced and my dad’s an ass and my mom is just a very angry lady and i want to re-do my own childhood? who knows. should we ban movies? yes we should!)

from maurice (ultimate source of tender)

“There was something better in life than this rubbish, if only he could get to it, love, nobility, big spaces where passion clasped peace, spaces no science could reach, but they existed for ever, full of woods some of them, and arched with majestic sky and a friend”

‘Did you ever dream you had a friend, Alec? Nothing else but just “my friend”, he trying to help you and you him. A friend’ he repeated, sentimental suddenly. ‘Someone to last your whole life and you his. I suppose such a thing can’t really happen outside sleep’

we are all so lucky i don’t actually own maurice in english this would just turn into me quoting the whole book

ee cummings voices to voices, lip to lip

the thing perhaps isto eat flowers and not to be afraid.

from virgina woolf’s letters to vita

7 september 1925

january 21 1926 vita writes

I am reduced to a thing that wants Virginia. I composed a beautiful letter to you in the sleepless nightmare hours of the night, and it has all gone: I just miss you, in a quite simple desperate human way. You, with all your un-dumb letters, would never write so elementary phrase as that; perhaps you wouldn’t even feel it. And yet I believe you’ll be sensible of a little gap. But you’d clothe it in so exquisite a phrase that it would lose a little of its reality. Whereas with me it is quite stark: I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal. So this letter is just really a squeal of pain. It is incredible how essential to me you have become. I suppose you are accustomed to people saying these things. Damn you, spoilt creature; I shan’t make you love me any the more by giving myself away like this—But oh my dear, I can’t be clever and stand-offish with you: I love you too much for that. Too truly. You have no idea how stand-offish I can be with people I don’t love. I have brought it to a fine art. But you have broken down my defences. And I don’t really resent it …

and on january 26 virginia writes back

Your letter from Trieste came this morning—But why do you think I don’t feel, or that I make phrases? ‘Lovely phrases’ you say which rob things of reality. Just the opposite. Always, always, always I try to say what I feel. Will you then believe that after you went last Tuesday—exactly a week ago—out I went into the slums of Bloomsbury, to find a barrel organ. But it did not make me cheerful … And ever since, nothing important has happened—Somehow its dull and damp. I have been dull; I have missed you. I do miss you. I shall miss you. And if you don’t believe it, you’re a longeared owl and ass. Lovely phrases? …

from virginia’s diary, about vita on december 21 1925

I like her and being with her and the splendour–she shines in the grocer’s shop in Sevenoaks with a candle lit radiance, stalking on legs like beech trees, pink glowing, grape clustered, pearl hung.

from virginia woolf’s to the light house

What device for becoming, like waters poured into one jar, inextricably the same, one with the object one adored? Could the body achieve, or the mind, subtly mingling in the intricate passages of the brain? or the heart? Could loving, as people called it, make her and Mrs Ramsay one? for it was not knowledge but unity that she desired, not inscriptions on tablets, nothing that could be written in any language known to men, but intimacy itself, which is knowledge, she had thought, leaning her head on Mrs Ramsay’s knee. Nothing happened. Nothing! Nothing! as she leant her head against Mrs Ramsay’s knee. And yet, she knew knowledge and wisdom were stored up in Mrs Ramsay’s heart.

Love had a thousand shapes. There might be lovers whose gift it was to choose out the elements of things and place them together and so, giving them a wholeness not theirs in life, make of some scene, or meeting of people (all now gone and separate), one of those globed compacted things over which thought lingers, and love plays.

there forced themselves upon her other things, her own inadequacy, her insignificance, keeping house for her father off the Brompton Road, and had much ado to control her impulse to fling herself (thank Heaven she had always resisted so far) at Mrs Ramsay’s knee and say to her—but what could one say to her? “I’m in love with you?” No, that was not true. “I’m in love with this all,” waving her hand at the hedge, at the house, at the children. It was absurd, it was impossible

(fun fact: the spanish translation adds something that i’d translate as “one could not say what one meant / what one wanted to say”, which i really like and i was disapointed to find out isnt on the english edition)

It was love, she thought, pretending to move her canvas, distilled and filtered; love that never attempted to clutch its object; but, like the love which mathematicians bear their symbols, or poets their phrases, was meant to be spread over the world and become part of the human gain. So it was indeed. The world by all means should have shared it

from the great gatsby

I didn’t want to go to the city. I wasn’t worth a decent stroke of work but it was more than that—I didn’t want to leave Gatsby. I missed that train, and then another, before I could get myself away (…) Just before I reached the hedge I remembered something and turned around. ‘They’re a rotten crowd,’ I shouted across the lawn. ‘You’re worth the whole damn bunch put together.’ I’ve always been glad I said that. It was the only compliment I ever gave him

from kafka’s diaries

may 27 1911: Today is your birthday, but I am not even sending you the usual book, for it would be only pretence; at bottom I am after all not in position to give you a book. I am writing only because it is so necessary for me today to be near you for a moment

parts from a from a letter he wrote to oskar pollak on february 4 1902

When we talk together the words are hard; we tread over them as if they were rough pavement. The most delicate things acquire awkward feet and we can’t help it. We’re almost in each other’s way; I bump into you and you - I don’t dare and you. When we come to things that are not exactly cobblestones or the Kunstwart, we suddenly see that we are in masquerade, acting with angular faces (especially me, I admit), and then we become sad and bored. Does anyone make you as bored as I do?

then I fall silent and you fall silent and you become bored, and I become bored and it’s all like a stupid hangover and there’s no use lifting a hand. But neither wants to say this to the other, out of shame or fear or - You see, we are afraid of each other, or I am.

Of course I understand it. It’s boring to stand for years in front of an ugly wall and it just won’t crumble away. Of course, but the wall is afraid for itself, fro the garden (if there is one), and you get out of sorts, yawn, have headaches, don’t know where to turn

You often talk with her, not only for the sake of talking. You walk around with her somewhere here or there, or in Roztok, and i sit at my desk at home. You talk with her, and in the middle of a sentence somebody jumps up and makes a bow. That is me with my untrimmed words and angular faces. That lasts only a moment, and then you go on talking. I sit at my desk at home and yawn. I’ve been trhough it already. Wouldn’t that separate us? Is that so strange? Are we enemies? I am very fond of you

from his leters to milena

Last night I dreamed about you. What happened in detail I can hardly remember, all I know is that we kept merging into one another. I was you, you were me. Finally you somehow caught fire.

jane wong. from clearing

We want to believe everything has meaning.Plums blossom over a power grid

and I am in love again. The shame of it.

from leslie harrison’s [sirens]

I’m not Penelope married to faith married to waitingbound in fine soft strands of silk dyed and stretchedin my world longing has teeth and fins has a tastefor blood longing is a room built entirely of knives

Lorde’s melodrama tour interlude

Don’t you wish you could go inside a heart, see the strings and atrium’s, everything beating and bleeding. It’s kind of funny, I spend almost every minute thinking about love. Being guided, and divided by love. But I’ve never seen it. It’s just a rumour, a comedown, an afterglow. I wanna see it, in colour. In the summer, I can almost picture it

from Andrea Long Chu’s on liking women

One day, you tell yourself, it will give you what you want. Then, one day, it doesn’t. Now it dawns on you that your object will probably never give you what you want. But this is not what’s disappointing, not really. What’s disappointing is what happens next: nothing. You keep your object. You continue to follow it around, stash it in a drawer, water it, tweet at it. It still doesn’t give you what you want—but you knew that. You have had another realization: not getting what you want has very little to do with wanting it. Knowing better usually doesn’t make it better. You don’t want something because wanting it will lead to getting it. You want it because you want it

ada limón, In a Mexican Restaurant I Recall How Much You Upset Me

But love is impossible and it goes ondespite the impossible. You’re the muscleI cut from the bone and still the boneremembers, still it wants (so much, it wants)the flesh back, the real thing,if only to rail against it, if onlyto argue and fight, if only to missa solve-able absence.

i dont think i need to get into mitski songs because you probably already know but basically pink in the night/come into the water/once more to see you/in happy when she says if you’re going take the train so i can hear it rumble one last rumble/in i want you from the first verse to the first time she goes “i just need a quiet place where i can scream how i love you” (YES the card thing is very important)/the first verse of i will (w emphasis on everything you feel is good i f you wold only let you)/abbey/strawberry blond

sufjan steven’s futile devices obviously predatory wasp of the palisades you know the drill

was going to find some twin fantasy lyrics but i started thinking about famous prophets (minds) and like. emotionally left my body so. i wont be thinking about it or any other songs anymore it makes me too crazy

from frances ha

It’s that thing when you’re with someone and you love them and they know it and they love you and you know it but it’s a party and you’re both talking to other people and you’re laughing and shining and you look across the room and catch each other’s eyes. But not because you’re possessive, or it’s precisely sexual, but because that is your person in this life and it’s funny and sad but only because this life will end and it’s this secret world that exists right there. In public. Unnoticed. That no one else knows about. It’s sort of like how they say that other dimensions exist all around us but we don’t have the ability to perceive them. That’s what I want out of a relationship. Or just life, I guess.

from ellen lee’s notes on twin fantasy that i revisit constantly

there’s no going back to deliver these words to the ones they were really meant for. That’s how heartbreak feels, I guess. It feels like your heart in between the teeth of someone who’s looking away. When you’ve lost your loved object, what happens to all the things you have to say to them? When they’re turned away, what happens to all the things that you couldn’t, but desperately need(ed) to, say to their face? He dissociates himself from his own romance until it becomes a fantasy. You have your bleeding heart, you have a finite set of memories — when nothing new enters and you’re unwilling to let go, then you have a fantasy. The loved object enters into you and transforms.

the journey home by dermot bolger(havent read this at all dont really plan to/dont know a thing about it either i just came across this shit like 2 years ago and i still think about it)

I wanted to hurt him; I wanted just to touch him. What I wanted I’m not really sure. If he had stopped and opened his arms I would have walked towards him; I would have sat on the kerb all night with him

adam b, sweet i have a (really gay) heart

i feel like my body is the extension of a lake. i feel really badabout not telling you the truth, sometimes. i feelreally small next to you. tall boys remind me of bean stalks.i wish i had your legs. i wish i could know your handsbefore i even touch them

aaaand i think that’s all i could think of and track down, hope this is actually helpful and not too long (i am indecisive no kidding). also ksjdfg it’s nice that you thought to ask me this and i did have fun going over all these quotes so thank you 💖💖💖

#answered #i hope this fits what you were looking for!!#and i hope read mores are working on mobile djfgk #c #thing #Anonymous

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breezybadaboom · 6 years ago

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#religion #jesus #Christianity #words #Christian #explanation #revelation #revelations #secrets #whispers #noahs ark #the flood #stephen hawkins #space ship #heaven #religious

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femmesfollesnebraska · 6 years ago

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Artist-Poet Feature: Claudia Serea & Maria Haro

Pleased to feature artist Maria Haro alongside poet Claudia Serea with some of their collaborative work...

Where are you from? How did you get into creative work and what is your impetus for creating?

Claudia Serea:

I was born and raised in Romania, and I started writing poems when I was around 14 years old, in Romanian, of course. I wrote until my third year in college, then stopped. I immigrated to the U.S. in 1995 and took up writing almost 12 years later, this time in English. As for the reasons, I write because I believe I have something to say: my experience growing up behind the Iron Curtain, my immigration story, and the fact that I am constantly moving between two languages and cultures, not fitting perfectly in either of them. I also find inspiration everywhere around me, on New York City streets, in everyday life. I don't have to make up almost anything, just type what I see really fast. :)

Maria Haro:

I was borned in Madrid, Spain. Ever since I remember, I have been creating. My father is also an artist, so I grew up surrounded by art. I started my professional career in 1994 when I moved to New York City after graduating in graphic design.

My impetus for creating has evolved through the years. It started as something I liked to do, then something that I liked and I needed for a living, and now is evolving into something I need to do in order to make sense of it all.

Tell me about Twoxism, your current project and book, and why it’s important to you. What do you hope people get out of your work?

Claudia Serea:

I started the blog Twoxism in 2015 together with my friend, photographer Maria Haro—but the idea is older than that. The project concept came from Maria's friend, the Spanish photographer, Koldo Mirren Guinea Herran. He contributed some excellent photography to our project; he also designed the amazing cover and created the layout of the book. One of the poems I wrote for his beautiful photograph of tools was shared 1,600 times on StumbleUpon alone. I’m sure a lot of its appeal is because of this iconic image. Here it is:

Sometimes I feel like a mechanic

Sometimes I feel like a mechanic, hammer and wrench instead of hands,

fitting the small parts, turning them this way and that, until they lock together, tight, teeth clenched.

I test the wheels, try the belt, turn the engine on and off, and on again,

listening to the wheezing, the whirr, until it works, and the growl comes on,

and the propeller starts flipping and swooshing,

and the shiny thing lifts into the air and flies into the world,

leaving me behind with my greasy hands and grimy nails,

grinning.

Maria Haro:

Twoxism started as a poetry-photography collaboration blog (www.twoxism.com) for which I took the photos and Claudia wrote the poems they inspired. In April 2017, 33 selections from the blog became an art exhibition that opened in New York City. Recently, Twoxism became a book published in December 2018 by the Canadian press 8th House Publishing.

Twoxism is an invented word for all things two—among them, love, friendship, and relationships. We had a great response to the blog, with +15K page views and +40K impressions on Twitter and growing. As a project, it finds beauty in unexpected places and sees the mundane with redemptive eyes. As a book, it speaks of love and relationships in a new way. We hope others find it fresh, inspiring, and authentic. I personally started to better understand personal relationships through the photos I take and the lens of the artists who contribute to Twoxism.

Does collaboration play a role in your work—whether with your community, artists or others? How so, and how does this impact your work?

Claudia Serea:

I love collaborating with other artists. Collaboration gives my poems the chance to be shared with and enjoyed by more people. It gives the poem a new life. Apart from Twoxism, I collaborated with film directors who turned my poems into videos. My poem In Those years, No One Slept was set to music for choir by composer Rich Campbell, and the song won the top prize at the 2018 Uncommon Music Festival last August. I have another ongoing poetry-photography project with artist Mike Markham which, who knows, might become an exhibition or book in the future. And Maria and I we’ll keep Twoxism growing as long as it can. We are just getting started.

Maria Haro:

My biggest drive now is to discover what is possible through collaboration, and everything has to have a purpose. I am mostly interested in creating work than helps others using my design, photography, and artistic skills. I always have more projects on my mind that time to execute them and make the best of them. That is where collaboration really makes sense to me. Things are always better together.

Considering the political climate, how do you think the temperature is for the arts right now, what/how do you hope it may change or make a difference?

Claudia Serea:

Creativity knows no limits and no one can contain it, although some might try. The arts are hot in the U.S., and they will always be. Language is also extremely important in shaping our message and connecting us with emotion. Here is a poem from Twoxism that explores language’s important role, accompanied by Maria’s evocative photo:

About languages

In what language does the house painter paint?

Does the wind in Chile speak Spanish to the trees?

Do the gulls over the Hudson River cry Whitman’s verse?

And what about the Statue of Liberty?

In what language does she keep silent?

Coming from Romania, I feel fortunate to be in the United States and share my poems in English with the artists here. Who knew something like this could happen? I never thought I would get here in the first place. We get to write and express ourselves, and that is thrilling to me. I am very grateful for that. In turn, we must fight to open doors for others, and not create in a vacuum. There are countless artists and poets who live under oppressive regimes and don’t get this chance. We need to raise our voices and help them in any way we can. It’s an uphill battle, but I have faith we can contribute to the change.

Maria Haro:

Being an artist is hard, and it will always be, no matter where you are and what political climate you’re in. But it really helps to be in Madrid and in New York City where there is freedom to express yourself and a lot of receptivity to art.

Art is very intangible. You can only break through when you touch the viewer’s emotions and cause disruption. I will continue to try to do that for the rest of my life.

Sense of humor is another great weapon to have. I love to explore through my art the political environment and discover in deeper layers what is really going on and how it translates into our daily lives. Here is a twoxism that illustrates that:

High stakes entertainment

When all of this is over,

we'll have invented a new game,

the American roulette.

All is fair in love and war. So pass the popcorn, the wine, lots of wine, and the remote.

Artist Wanda Ewing, who curated and titled the original LFF exhibit, examined the perspective of femininity and race in her work, and spoke positively of feminism, saying “yes, it is still relevant” to have exhibits and forums for women in art; does feminism play a role in your work?

Claudia Serea:

In Twoxism, we explored the topic of empowering women in several combinations of poems and photographs. The goddess woman, the working woman, the skateboarding girl who is afraid to fall, the mother, the lover, the friend, they all find voices in the book. One of my favorites pieces is “Ode to the warrior woman,” paired with a beautiful photo of red lipstick as a “weapon” of choice by Maria Haro. Here it is:

Ode to the warrior woman

Beautiful woman, the world is still cruel and wild. Bring out the thunderbolts and don’t be afraid of the fight.

Put on your lipstick and pull up your boots. Grab your sword and slay the dragons on your way to work.

Walk in knee-high blood on 7th Avenue and don’t let anyone see the quiver in your heart.

Be kind and smile. Don’t let them see that you’re hurt.

Sharpen your talons, merciless bird.

Woman, you da man, the man’s womb, you da bomb!

Galaxies explode from your sex, Milky Way swirls and pours out of your breasts.

Tell the little girl inside you to hush.

Swing the bow on your back and spread your eagle wings.

There is so much to fight for, so much to do.

Put on your lipstick, girl.

The world is waiting for you.

Maria Haro:

There isn’t really a choice for us to demand equal rights for women. It’s mandatory (and I have projects coming up that directly address this topic.)

Ewing’s advice to aspiring artists was “you’ve got to develop the skill of when to listen and when not to;” and “Leave. Gain perspective.” What is your favorite advice you have received or given?

Claudia Serea:

Keep writing even if you get rejected. Be honest and true to yourself. And, most importantly, never give up. Persistence is the most important quality.

Maria Haro:

Attack your fears by being fearless.

How do the birds know when it’s time to fly?

They must feel a restlessness, or a clock striking in their brain,

an itch, or a longing in the bones.

Or maybe the roads are calling, unfolding ahead,

new balconies of the city, glimmering windows and highways of air.

That’s when I have to say goodbye to my friends of the same feather

and prepare to travel light, with only love as carry-on.

Then, without thinking too much, the leap:

the push off the ledge, a flap or two.

I lean my chest against the wind and glide.

The current pours and lifts me up, up, so I can see everything.

Farewell, past.

Twoxism by CLAUDIA SEREA & MARIA HARO

Published by 8th House Publishing, Montreal, Canada

Order the book here.

6 x 9 | Paperback | December 2018

116 pages | Price: $20.00

ISBN 978-1-926716-53-4

Claudia Serea is an award-winning Romanian-born poet whose poems and translations appeared in Field, New Letters, Gravel, Prairie Schooner, RHINO, The Malahat Review, and elsewhere. She has published five poetry collections, most recently Twoxism, a poetry-photography collaboration with Maria Haro (8th House Publishing, 2018). Serea is a founding editor of National Translation Month and a co-host of The Williams Poetry Readings series in Rutherford, NJ.

Maria Haro grew up in Madrid, Spain, where she studied fine arts and graphic design. She graduated from the School of Graphic Communications and moved to New York City in 1994. She has won several global awards as a Creative Director in pharma advertising. She collaborates with other artists on projects that inspire her. You can find her photos on Instagram @mariavisualdesigner.

Les Femmes Folles is a volunteer organization founded in 2011 with the mission to support and promote women in all forms, styles and levels of art from around the world with the online journal, print annuals, exhibitions and events; originally inspired by artist Wanda Ewing and her curated exhibit by the name Les Femmes Folles (Wild Women). LFF was created and is curated by Sally Deskins. LFF Booksis a micro-feminist press that publishes 1-2 books per year by the creators of Les Femmes Folles including the award-winning Intimates & Fools (Laura Madeline Wiseman, 2014) , The Hunger of the Cheeky Sisters: Ten Tales (Laura Madeline Wiseman/Lauren Rinaldi, 2015 and Mes Predices (catalog of art/writing by Marie Peter Toltz, 2017).Other titles include Les Femmes Folles: The Women 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 and 2016 available on blurb.com, including art, poetry and interview excerpts from women artists. A portion of the proceeds from LFF books and products benefit the University of Nebraska-Omaha’s Wanda Ewing Scholarship Fund.

Current call for collaborative art-writing: http://femmesfollesnebraska.tumblr.com/post/181376606692/lff-2019-artistpoet-collaborations

https://www.facebook.com/femmesfolles

4 notes · View notes

uygmoeb · 3 years ago

Note

Ah thank you! I like think I'm good with English but the struggle of being bilingual and your brain just likes to give you a blue screen error and you sit there wondering what the word is in either language lol (I have respect for people that know like 4!) But yeppers, welcome to my family where we do things slightly last minute and then there is chaos in the kitchen xD 10/10 fun times

Right!? Like I remember he was like this small lil bean that was like a puppy, wouldn't hurt a fly and then suddenly he just had a pokemon evolution moment going from charmander to charzard in like God knows when lolol of course im not saying thats a bad thing, I just find the character development so funny, like it happened right under our noses and honestly good for him! Love his chaotic, talented self. Same, same. I do like to be slightly up to date with my favs but I only have recently been more deeper into the moa fandom if you will? So I am aware of some stuff like I know kai participated in some song making for their recent album and it makes me feel happy seeing them take on producing or writing because hey, that shiz isn't easy! Even they didn't, doesn't mean txt aren't talented! (Like their dancing alone can knock me out to the moon like who debuts with songs like crown, blue orangeade AND cat and dog and make the dancing look smooth!? Kings only)

Tldr stan txt for a better life *sips tea*

But yes I did! I wanted to get a good start ahead because I am sadly a lazy potato and didn't want to have things last minute and not have your gift be nice :c so I worked on it Sunday all night with my intel and it is saved, ready to be posted. I won't say much other than that, you sadly must wait until Christmas. But...but *blushies* pleassee no omg I am a simple potato! Hdhahshs I am not worthy of such kind words, if anything i want to shower you with kind words because its been super fun talking with ya! Like it is my 3rd year joining stuff like this but I never chatted so much with someone and I am very happy because like I am talking with an awesome sauce person! I mean, this blog alone is fabulous (I just realized your name is beomgyu but backward hjshdjs genius omg) so I hope we can chit chat after this in the future auggie (I hope I spelled your name correctly? Please slap me with a fish if not jdjsjds)

i wish i still had it in me to learn a second language not gonna lie hskfhks i remember the basics of spanish from 3 years of classes but like.. i wish i could pick it up and learn more but idk it's harder for me now not to mention the very, very little and basic korean i taught myself LMAO so the fact u can speak two languages is awesome ! and it seems to me ur english is rlly rlly good, honestly would've assumed it was ur first language if u hadnt said anything bc of how good it is

a pokemon evolution but beomgyu version please hskfjsl u explained it so perfectly with just that BUT YEAH i still can't believe that that was their debut like wow.. the songs down to the choreo.. they rlly set the bar high for themselves and they've done nothing but surpass it each time and yeah i like to keep up to date if i can, and i've been doing a better job lately but i just love so many groups it can be difficult and then stuff starts to slip thru the cracks yknow? but i'm out here. trying my best regardless. it also doesnt help that i.. dont like to read things hslfsjjf so like,, if there’s a written post update and it's longer than like, 4 big paragraphs i probably wont read it and one day that will be the death of me bc i'll miss something really important or something

ok ok i'm like.. almost half way done with mine now after starting it hskfhks i'm pretty quick but somehow i didn't notice how close the deadlines were ??? i think it's just bc i've been doing so much but eh it's ok,, wouldnt be the first time i procrastinated smth important on accident skfhsk and its ok, i'm willing to wait !! i am super excited and looking forward to see what u made tho!!! but oooh ok so u've done this kind of gift making stuff before, and u must like it to keep doing it right? i think i'm just discovering my love to gift people things this year lol i might just keep making gifts throughout the year for everybody bc i just.. wanna give stuff to people it makes me happy i've noticed and lmao ur not the only one who took a min to realize it was beomgyu backwards, but i too thought it was kinda genius ngl

:(((( yes pls i would love to keep talking to u after and u rlly just proved my point by saying everything u did, like u genuinely may be one of the sweetest people i've ever talked to <3 and yeah dw u got my name right!! even if u spelled it wrong big deal it wont bother me, call me whatever and i'll accept it hskfhsk

#answered #<3 —moa santa

0 notes

forgettinggirlinterrpted · 7 years ago

Text

Sunday 5/6

My roommates name is Shauna. She doesn’t flush and when I got here there was what I can only assume were soiled clothes in a brown paper bag.

A woman in the hall is also talking about her shit. I’m the youngest person here and im afraid to shower, there’s no door. The poop lady is cackling.

My roommate and I talked, she’s nice, and I met her night nurse and she is so nice. Her name is Maria.

I’m having a hard time figuring out why I feel like this. Its hard b/c I’ve been hungover but surely that’s not all it is. How do you recover from a hangover so bad you end up in a psych ward?

It weird not having my phone, I want to check twitter. I don’t want to go to group therapy tomorrow.

I just can’t stop crying, my eyes actually hurt.

My mouth tastes bad but I have no toothpaste.

I started reading this book called notorious nineteen and it is truly trash.

I don’t have the lights on bc Shauna’s sleeping- I feel like Mozart.

My eyes hurt, I might go call my dad again to get my moms phone number.

Ill be back.

Got Taylor’s # and called her/my mom. Maria gave me some antihistamines to try to calm me down/sleep.

My sisters want to come visit me on Tuesday.

I’ve only eaten a donut this morning.

There’s a painting of a window that is 100% mocking me.

I’m sweaty.

Some snaps I would be sending if I had my phone

*a pic of the little card that was on my bed when I came in w/ a number on it for housekeeping. Caption idea-

is this a joke?

It’s a work in progress.

*def a snap of me whipping/nay naying to the woman whose been singing in the hall all night (singer)

Shauna is snoring. There’s no joke there but its absolutely worth noting.

I just want to play candy crush.

Monday

(12:30 pmish) I feel like I’m in a dream. I’ve been sleeping all day- it turns out it was only like 3 hours tops.

I had so many dreams.

I just went and talked to a big ass table of doctors about my life and I just feel so groggy. They’re in there talking about me.

I skipped lunch b/c my tummy hurt so bad after breakfast.

Shauna puked everywhere.

I think she’s leaving.

Also turns out she’s in withdrawal AND pregnant.

And she has an infected injection site on her arm.

I just talked to my mom/dad/Taylor and asked them to bring me some books + shirts.

The nice psychiatrist said she would give me some adavan to calm me down. Also I skipped lunch b/c my stomach hurt so bad from breakfast but now I’m hungry so I guess they’re gonna order me something. I feel so weird. (might have napped here)

4ish pm

40 mg stratera (sp?), one mg atavan.

Finally left my room, I’ve been asleep all day.

Nurse went and got me a coke + a water and I saw they’re watching forgetting Sarah Marshall so I thought Id join. Everyone called me out when I came in since ive been hiding out. Bitches.

Movies suggested by the dude I’m watching FSM w/

- assassin’s creed

-Dogma

10 positive ways to describe myself

1. Legs that go up to my asshole

2. College educated

3. Big heart

4. Good sense of humor

5. Love babies

6. Love my friends

7. Good communicator

8. Love the outside

9. Big smile

10. Lovely family

9 positive coping skills

1. Talk to Taylor

2. Going on walks

3. Calling my parents

4. Reading

5. Going to therapy

6. Doing hw

7. Watching movies

8. Candy crush (questionable)

9. Eating veggies

8 things I’ve accomplished

1. College

2. Getting into grad school

3. Learning Spanish

4. Coming to the hospital

5. Making great friends

6. Moving a lot and making it through

7. Driving to SLC

8. Supporting myself (for the most part)

7 healthy things I can do each day

1. Eat well

2. Shower

3. Talk to my friends

4. Not drink

5. Clean my room

6. Clean my clothes

7. Do my hw

6 things I can change

1. My eating habits

2. Drinking

3. Exercising more

4. Getting a routine

5. Whitening my teeth

6. How I see myself

5 things I can’t change

1. How my family acts

2. How my friends act

3. The status of the US public school system

4. The amount of sunlight in my apt

5. My face

4 reasons I can’t give up

1. My family

2. I’m going to change the world

3. My friends

4. My future students

3 places I can get help

1. w/ dr. whose name I can’t remember

2. my apt (Taylor)

3. the hospital

2 people I can really trust

1. Taylor

2. my parents

1 reason I’m here

1. I need to not feel like this anymore

I’m holding myself back from asking why everyone’s here.

Assassin’s creed guy, also known as biting guy (an inside joke from earlier) and sweater girl are talking about if the food delivery guy has extensions.

We got called to dinner, now were finishing Sarah Marshall.

Biter dude told hair guy “nice hair”.

Oh my god, when peter sings about how much he hates himself, biter and white shirt turned to me and said dang sounds like he’s going to be in the room next o me! way to be self aware guys!

Just called my dad to find out about my stuff getting dropped off but turns out he did 2 hours ago and its all been in my room.

I started crying immediately b/c Taylor is amazing- she brought me the perfect books. It was like she was talking to me through the books.

She gave me b Franks autobiography and Jesse Donaldson’s ‘on homesickness’. And the book Amanda gave me. also wuthering heights and pastures of heaven. All so perfect.

Shirts is roasting the shit out of double lasagna (he ate… double the lasagna we all got for dinner).

He keeps saying he looks like he’s about to give birth

“I mean were already in the hospital we just gotta figure out what floor is maternity”

Wuthering Heights

1801- Mr. Lockwood +Heathcliff

Thrushcross Grange

Double lasagna is talking about the last time he had tequila- brother the last time I drank it I ended up here.

What an anecdote.

“they could have stolen my jewelry or even my virginity!” – about the guys who helped when he got too drunk. Double lasagna’s real name is * but he just introduced himself as Dorothy (to hair the night nurse helper).

Fake Abby (biting guy came to my room thinking I was her) is here and shirt just said “you’re awfully quiet” and she rejected him hard. It was awk.

One of the helpers is just chillin in here w/ us while I read my shitty book and we watch “just go w/ it” – its so bad.

One of the nurses (pony tail) just made me go on a walk down the hall w/ him. They all keep asking me how I’m feeling and I keep saying fine but I’m not. As long as I don’t talk I don’t cry. I’m starting to think I want to stay here longer but also leave right away. Its all so confusing.

Double lasagna just asked hair nurse if he could have his phone out of his bag and the way just looked up from his phone and said “nuh uh” was iconic.

Its 805 pm and I think I’m going see about getting my sleeping pills so I can just crash.

I need to document stuff better tomorrow b/c I don’t like how much of a blur today is.

I finally showered and I feel better I think. I just don’t know what the move is once I get out. Like I don't know how to talk to anyone.

I need Taylor to contact Morgan I think.

I’m sure she’s confused. Or maybe she doesn't care literally at all. Who cares. I’ve been surprised at how easily I’ve been sleeping today especially without my phone and with everything on my mind.

I need a talk therapist like yesterday.

I can’t bring myself to get through any of the books Taylor brought. The 19 book in such trash but it’s easy to read.

The shower needs to be pressed every 45 seconds to say on. I wore shower shoes.

Fake Abby doesn’t know what the move is, I can tell.

I called Taylor + my mom then got snack in my night meds. I mom told me to call back to talk to Mack so I just did. She’s lovely.

Double lasagna somehow talked to snack nurse into giving him a full sandwich. I got a strawberry poptart and a coke.

They’re checking in a new girl now who looks a bit like she’s closer to my age.

I’m happy she’s not my roommate.

I think tomorrow ill try to call family/friends less and trust the process. I need to really take a step back.

I’m just happy I feel comfortable sitting in the sun room. I knew a lot more about movies than they did

Goals for tomorrow-

Check out group

Find rec room/sign my name by Mack’s

Document everything

Keep room clean

They still haven’t cleaned Shauna’s side. Its off putting.

Have I mentioned they check on me every 15 minutes?

Its off putting also.

I wish I had just like some mascara or something. I hate to be that girl but damn.

My mom keeps trying to talk about the funny aspects of this but I can’t say I’m feeling them yet. Today just really was such a blur. I sept a lot then talked to therapists then I think went back to sleep? Then begged for lunch then I think slept? That’s where its fuzzy. Called my fam too much, I need to not tomorrow.

I also want to gain control of tv room tomorrow. Power move!!

Did I mention I called Chelsea? My brain is mush.

- Be more present tomorrow-

- Ask more questions-

be warned: new beginnings are rarely pure, and neither are the men who seek them

On Homesickness pg 23

Scott County

We are homesick most for the places we have never {truly} known

37, Franklin County

Questions to Proteus -> how do I get home? 45, Montgomery County

Tuesday

7:10 am

slept super hard but also had super vivid dreams. Mack and I talked about that last night.

She said she had never brought it up. I was a little restless, prob just bc they were constantly opening my door and eventually just stopped closing it.

I’m just trying to let go of control. I don’t want my phone back. I need to talk to someone about the insane anxiety I feel when I think about home back to the real world.

Even just being in my apartment scares me b/c it feels like its full of negative energy. I need to focus on the good when I get out.

I keep thinking about my phone bill and I can’t remember if I paid for internet. Also the maintenance light is still on in my car.

Even though mom and dad are coming today I need to be communicating less w/ outside world. If I really want to be off the grid I need to really b alone with me thoughts and be okay with it.

I kept feeling for my phone throughout the night.

I wonder what the nurses think of me. do I seem different than everyone else?

I keep finding myself trying to relate to the nurses, esp. the young male one (hair) but what am I trying to prove? That I’m not like everyone here?

Newsflash, asshole, I am

(I’m the asshole)

I need a sharper pencil- do you think a lobotomy joke will be appropriate when I request one orr?

I wonder if Prather has texted me. I’m supposed to sub on the 21st.

Yikes

Not looking forward to checking my bank account. I really spent a lot w/out giving a shit. It was freeing but I also haven’t worked in over a week + a half soooooo.

On homesickness is so dramatic but I love it. Makes me think of Taylor. (bc home, not the drama)

Also I think I’m getting fucking sick. Or, according to Lula (Flula) in 19, I’m getting hospital cooties.

7:27 am

I’m in TV room w/ singer. I asked what we’re watching and she said “some kind of cartoon”. She’s not screaming which is awesome. I’m going to read Wuthering Heights.

Almost 8

Called dad and asked him to bring me a pair of readers since my eyes hurt. Nice nurse #2 is here again. She’s blonde. I haven’t seen Maria again. Met another nurse too. She was young. Also there’s a fake nurse (fake nurses are in teal, like hair, and he real ones are in blue) who I def. know. Cant figure out from where, maybe high school? Either way, not cool with it. Also, they sharpened my pencil.

TIME TBD

Having a hard time focusing on reading. My eyes hut.

I don’t like waiting around.

Is it petty to point out inconsistencies in the rules? There’s different info on different sheets in the packet they gave us. Makes me wonder how closely these patients are reading it. Its all petty though, like whether or not we should take 5 or 10 minutes to use the phone or how many visitors we can have at a time.

I know myself too well, ill be bringing it up. I’m going to check on breakfast.

8:30ish

breakfast was sub par. Sat alone. New girl, sat w/ double lasagna. She only wanted milk so homeboy asked if he could eat hers! Has he learned nothing?? I ate pretty quick; I think I need to go back to sleep. I feel weird.

Time-?

Dr.?? (nice psychiatrist) came in and we talked. Started fine but I got really upset b/c of how much I feel like garbage and I don’t now if I want to be here. But also I don’t want to go back to the real world. She left and I went to go get a visteral 25 mg b/c I’m so upset. They gave it to me and when I got back to my room I 100% had a panic attack.

I felt like I was a kid again. Maybe its b/c I’m here but I’ve never been sure that what it was until now. They happened a lot as a kid and usually ended in my mom holding me and saying everything’s ok. Its so hard not having that now. I left my room and the med student from Sunday was in the hall and he came and talked to me until I calmed down.

With talking to them I finally feel like I’ve been able to verbalize how anxious I feel here along with how I feel about leaving. I just need to rest my eyes for right now, but when I’m up I need to write down what Dr. B said about when I get out.

I miss my parents.

Time unknown

Honestly can’t remember what happened next.

Social worker came in, she’s lovely. Talked a bit then I kept resting.

She gave me some info on how to stay grounded during a panic attack.

Then I think I went to the rec room to do a puzzle but then religion group started. I stuck around but then little dr came to get me and asked if I would meet with big table of doctors even though I hate it.

I did it but it made me upset again. They said they would come talk to me but they haven’t.

I fell asleep again then not Maria nurse came to tell me they’re gonna give me more adavan once my visteral wears off. Fell back asleep then got a drink/ate lunch.

My puzzle got hijacked so I brought a new one into my room. I hit a wall so I stopped to write all this down and go find out what they talked about it my meeting.

I think its around 1 pm.

2pm

Sat and watched how I met your mother for a little. Started crying. Asked a nurse when I was gonna get talked to when little doc came up. they gave me an adavan and now I’m waiting for him to come talk to me. the maid is making up Shauna’s old bed while I sit and cry. Very awk.

I don’t know why I keep crying. I just feel like I’m going to keep having these attacks. I feel so hopeless.

Still sitting here crying. Still no doctor.

My name is Abigail and I am safe. I am in the present and I am safe.

~505

lil doc came to talk to me and I got upset. I don’t understand what my next move is.

Just slept pretty hard until now then got dinner. Going back to sleep is very tempting.

I think I’m allowed another pill. What’s the point?

6:50 pm

I honestly don’t know what I’ve been doing since after dinner. I’ve been doing the puzzle in the TV room. I’ve been watching the office. I asked nice nurse if I could have another pill but she’s pretty sure she cane until its time for bed. My anxiety is pretty high right now my parents will be here in like an hour.

7 pm

officially been hoarding pencils. They say I can have an atavan at 10 pm for bed, but they gave me a V. im wondering if that’s going to help me sleep. They’re going to put me on abilify on top of my startera. I’m hoping they’ll give me some of this visteril to take home in case I start to freak.

Decided that in order to help me not get stressed I want someone to take my phone and ask me one by one about who texted/called/emailed and help me deal with it. Same w/ my bank statement.

I want to say I feel better, but I don’t know. Its just all a blur.

I want to see m parents so I can find out what the move is when I get out. Maybe a meeting with Andrea and social working and one of them would be cool.

I don’t want to get out after Taylor leaves. Fuck.

Double lasagna and biter left.

* is still here, and fake Abby is MIA.

New girl who I don’t know

New guy Brandon- wears vans

And tad who Mack warned me about. Apparently he called 911 on the nurses from the phones.

Bold move.

Fake Abby and I are friends. I think she’s lonely, I know she wants to be my roommate, but I can’t deal with that.

Now I just kill time until mom gets here.

930 ish?

Mom and dad came and I feel a bit better. Mom and I did our crossword puzzle and dad and I figured out grad school. I also had him assure me I don’t need to worry about $ right now.

I asked for a pen but they said no. but I STOLE ONE FROM MY DAD!!

Honestly its low on ink but just having it feels great.

Just called my mom and said goodnight to Mack. I feel ok. Mostly just shook b/c of how much of a dream this all feels like. But I’m ok. Time to crossword and eat my poptart like the star patient I am. And I’m gonna do it in god damn pen!

Goals for tomorrow-

- track when all meds taken

- get better at checking time

8am

slept like shit. But I think I might go home today?! I’m sick so my head fucking hurts. I dontknow what to think. I just want to sleep in my own bed.

11am

talked to dr. B + some of the team and I think I’ll just stay another night. It was hard for me to think of what I wanted to b/c I just woke up. but she made a good point that if I’m sick and drowsy it could be good to stay since they’ll change the time I get the abilify. I don’t know. Just very tired.

1109

Watching fresh prince. Thought there was gonna be group in here, but so far nothing. Fuck this.

Fake Abby told shirt he looks like Carlton and no shit he kind of does. He deadass did the dance while he was walking out. He thinks side burns were cool. Now singer is singing Elvis songs.

Newer girl is even scarier she’s very touchy. Seems like she doesn’t listen.

singer is standing directly in front of the tv. She threatened to fire the nurse that told her to stop.

Shirt is leaving today.

New girl just came in and snatched the stuff out of singer’s hands and then tried to talk to everyone. Now singer is out for blood. New girl is wild.

1140

going to lay in bed until lunch.

~12

slept a little until lunch. Hamburger and a coke.

I’m def staying another night. Thinking of some ideas for pickup since I need someone to go back to my apt w/ me.

I think that’s the move. And then if its horrible I can try to stay somewhere else. I’m thinking of asking my sisters. Idk. Might call some of them now.

I’m really just waiting to get something for my cough.

215

just slept super hard

even denied taking my cough meds so I could sleep more

I finally got into the rec room and unsurprisingly it was a disappointment.

Couldn’t find macks mark so I left.

Gonna go try to get more crossword

255

just called Chelsea, she said she would try to come over after work/talk to liv about doing the same. I just want to take a real shower.

Crazy Tad just said hi to me.

New girl (maid) is asleep sitting up, we’re watching that 70’s show.

My shirt smells like Keenan.

Also its almost snack!

Hmmmmm 4?

took a shower after smashing a poptart. The sheets they gave me to use as a bathmat smells like actual piss and shit- maybe I shouldn’t have wrapped myself in it.

A little before 5

Slept again. Got woken up for dinner. It was ok. God I’m so fucking tired.

I’m glad I’m writing everything down b/c its all such a blur.

Cant remember if I already wrong down that I talked to chels. I want help meal prepping and doing some laundry. Also someone to sleep over. I want my own bed, but I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want my phone. I don’t know what good anyone can do me right now until my meds get figured out. I don’t know!!

I met my new nurse, DD, who said I’m taking my abilify in an hour. Then I want my sleeping pills so I can konk out, ugh.

Time to lay down. Again.

I think I fell asleep again?

Went to get my abilify around 615. Panic attack happened again.

I can’t stop crying and I don’t want to be here anymore w/out talking to someone about all my regrets.

I think more than anything I’m really disappointed with how this whole thing is going down.

Just want to stop crying.

830 pm

calmed down. Kind of okay w/ leaving but also so anxious.

844

Singer has 12 different personalities.

About to go ask for my meds/follow up on what’s up w/ the nurse’s research

9ish

Ate a poptart. Nurse was doing meds so she hasn’t looked into anything. Took 2 hydroxizines (50 mg) + a 3 mg melatonin. Called dad, still not a grad student. Very frustrating. Everything sucks but its ok bc I am Abigail Nash and I am safe in the present. I am not in the past. The present. And there are people that love me.

Thursday

- if… because then

- one day at a time

9 am?

Had breakfast, found out I’m going home today.

Called mom + dad, and mom is gonna pick me up around 5

2 more free meals!

Getting a therapist is going to take a minute but I feel ok about it

Nurse Nadine is so sweet.

These people are getting the wildest thank you cards later.

930

I’m going to get a watch

I don’t like not always knowing the time

That fucking short haired nurse came in again and gave me shit for being in my room

Don’t know her name

But I don’t want to

I’m getting out here short haired lady! And I’m pulling out to win!

I’m getting sleepy, fuck

I have like 8 hours to kill

Soooo

Suddenly now that I know I’m getting out I feel like some kind of bubble has been burst and I feel semi normal

Am I really the Angelina Jolie of this place? Not actually Angelina, but her character from Girl Interrupted?

She’s hot in that too, though.

Final thoughts for now- RIP Brittany Murphy.

925

group- only going because nurse Nadine is leading it.

Tad gave a very sweet little speech about his dad

Grabby girl wouldn’t share, she it nuts

But now miss congeniality is on!!

1055

cute rec therapist let me into the rec room. I wrote

SCABZ

In big letters on the table, and made a picture frame. Also played ping pong with grabby. I’m not even going to go into how that went.

Update: grabby thinks I’m her mom

My best gift:

The gift of travel. Travel in the sense of moving, traveling to see a friend, or a friend traveling to see me. travel has allowed me to maintain friendships w/ people I usually wouldn’t. Another gift coming from travel is my best friend, Taylor who traveled to another state for school, where I met her. And the gift of going to visit my best friend in France a few years ago who I’ve known since I was 9.

~~~~ when the party is at it’s best, it’s time to leave the party ~~~~

- Tad’s ex-father-in-law

almost noon

Tad (ok turns out its not the Tad Mack was talking about) said some really good stuff in group and when he was talking about finding balance I said, “like the yin for your yang?” and he did not know what I was really talking about but it fit into the convo really well. So I started to draw him one and when it was over I gave it to him and he was really touched. I feel really good about it. It sucks I’m just now getting to go to group but I think my meds might be working b/c I haven’t gone back to sleep yet.

Also, they said I could keep 19!

I need to get some books together to donate. And some puzzles.

After lunch

Pulled pork. Singer change the channel on TV to cartoons. I see a nap in my future. Also brushing my teeth.

There’s a new kid, he’s gotta be newly 18 b/c he looks young.

Tried playing monopoly w/ Tad, maid, and new guy, but it devolved.

Thought he was cute but he might be nuts (shocker)

I said he was welcome to my books and he looks a mans search for meaning and I’m about to leave so I don’t think im getting it back.

Amanda wrote a nice note in it. That sucks. I gotta stop being so nice.

I asked them to give me a visterile and they did. I should be ready to rock when mom gets here.

430

did more painting- made a weird sign for door knobs. No sign of homeboy + my book. I kind of don’t want to leave, but I refuse to let myself have fomo in a place like this. Idk what the move is for my book. He better be reading it. I don’t want to leave before dinner so he can at least have a chance to say something to me about it.

Tad is really fun to hang out w/. he is really nice. We talked about grounding during panic attacks and he invited me to play monopoly and we talked about how it sucks that we all just started talking to each other but that’s also prob just a sign that the meds are working.

I saw he put my yin yang in the front of his journal. Very sweet.

This isn’t to say he isn’t totally nuts. Also, young guy said my voice reminded me of “stuff” what the fuck.

Grabber called me mom and tried to give me her hand.

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kpurereactions · 8 years ago

Text

Halloween Special- After Party

A/n: So i know halloween was almost a week ago and I dropped that we were doing a halloween special, but with everything that happened we didnt get done and just decided to scrap it. But I kinda grew attached to this super long smut and so I kinda want you to read it… so heres a Choi Seunghyun Vampire AU…

Its Smut…

Your curiosity definitely got the better of you as you walked over to the room on your right. You didnt want to be the person to go snooping around a strangers house, but if there was someone in there you needed to talk to them. As you turned the corner you got yourself ready to introduce yourself you stopped dead in your tracks.

He was gorgeous. The most beautiful man you had ever seen before and to you, all the boys you left gawking after you at the party didnt matter. The way he looked up to you, slowly pulling the half smoked cigarette out of his mouth made your entire body rise with goosebumps. He looked up to you with dangerous eyes, eyes that made you take a half step back as he stood up and slowly made his way over to you.

‘It is impolite to intrude on someones home.’ He said standing almost a little too close to you, the smell of cigarettes on his coat and even though you now felt terrified, it was comforting at the same time.

‘Is this a habit of yours? Walking into homes unannounced?’

‘No, its just… um… My..’

‘Its just. Um, you’re a big girl, use your words.’ He said dangerously, making you stammer even more.

‘I think I hit a deer a few miles back my car is in a ditch and my phone isn’t working.’ You said quickly, taking a deep breath when you were done since he took a step back.

You watched as he chuckled, a deep dimple meeting his cheek and making your heart flutter. You were so confused emotionally that all you could do was stand there as he started to walk around you.

‘You think you hit a deer?’ He tested.

‘I hit some type of animal.’ You said quietly, trying not to look at him as he came to stop right infant of you again.

‘This.’ He started, hooking a finger under the shoulder of your costume and pulling it down slightly to expose your skin slightly. ‘Is quite a costume.’

You were shocked. He was so forward and if a stranger had ever acted this way towards you, you would have been nose up and scoffing, half way back to your car by now. But there was something about him that just drew you into his touch, and all you wanted was more. He took a small half step forward again and reached to push your hair back, asking one more time what you were here for.

‘I was going to ask if I could borrow a phone. Try and get my car out of the ditch and get home.’ You said, trying your hardest to keep your eyes form looking down at his stern lips that you were surprised to see turn up in a slight chuckle.

‘Do you know where you are?’

‘Not really. I got lost.’

‘Well I’m sorry to hear that. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but where you are standing right now is a dead zone. Plus I don’t have a phone. But, I do have a car and wouldn’t mind taking you to get your car towed tomorrow. For now you can stay here.’ He said turning his back and walking away to light another cigarette.

‘I couldn’t impose, I’m sorry for bothering you.’ You said not sure what else to do.

‘Nonsense. Where else are you going to go? Back to your sinking car in the woods? You’re safer in here than you’d be out there.’ Another smirk met his lips as he turned to watch you rock in your step. ‘Would you like a glass of wine?’ He asked, forcing a smile to try and get you to relax as he already started to make his way to the half bar that was in the corner of the room.

You accepted the wine and things grew awkward. You started to look around, anything to distract your eyes from looking at the gorgeous man in front of you. You rocked in your step, wracking your brain on something to say but there was nothing. And then you remembered the least you should know about this man, if anything, was his name.

‘Im Y/n, by the way. Whats yours?’ You asked, looking back over to where he stood, topping off the glass he had been drinking when you first walked in.

‘Seunghyun. Choi Seunghyun.’ He said turning back to you.

Once again it was awkward. He hadn’t shown you were you could sleep and there was no way he was about to leave you alone in the house. But still, there was nothing to talk about. So you moved to the art work that hung along the dark walls. They were grotesque. blood every where, Demons and other dark creatures.

‘Francisco Goya, a spanish painter. All of these are Spanish art work from the 16th and 17th century. This one in particular, is one of my favorites.’ He said noticing the look on your face as you studied the demon looking man with the corps of what looked like a child hanging between his teeth.

‘And this one, another favorite, is this one. William Adolphe Bouguereau’s ‘Dante and Virgil in Hell’’

You followed him over and took in the disturbing piece. A man, bent over almost backwards with his neck in the mouth of another man as demons and religious men stood by and watched. You cleared your voice, either this man was a sicko or he just truly appreciated the works no one really ever talked about.

‘Theres something vaccinating about the idea of a vampire, isn’t there. It makes you think; What happened to make this creature become a reality? Is it a wives tale or did things like this actually happen.’ He said, now standing closely behind him. You wanted him to think of you as someone with a little more brains that he probably took you for, so you nodded.

‘Could this have just been inspired by Dracula?’ You asked, honestly curious now.

‘It was painted 50 years before that story. but either way, how did that story have to come about?’ He asked, and when you took to long thinking about it he continued. ‘Theres a tale about a vampire not many people know, a man who used to stalk the city you and I live in 50 years ago, actually lived in this house according to ledgend. Rabid man with no self control and though they tried to always pin him with insanity and murder, he always got away. They say se gained self control over his instincts and can now live among humans, killing only when he needs to, not when he wants to. Ive heard that people who have seen his picture from years ago have seen a man who looks just like him walking around. It makes you think, doesn’t it?’

Though the topic was strange, he was right. You had actually heard that story, in more graphic detail of course, but the man who’s seemed to be living in the city for way to long was a scary story your grandmother used to tell to you.

‘That man by any chance isn’t you.’ You chuckled, trying to lighten the mood as you looked over your shoulder, his chest inches away from being pressed against your back. In a normal situation you’d be freaked out, but there was something that told you he wouldn’t do anything you told him no towards. Plus, it was halloween and he was probably just trying to scare you.

‘And what if it was?’

You should have ran, just left the house and figured something else out. But even though there was nothing about him that was saying he was just joking, you felt strangely comfortable. Safe, almost.

‘Well, you wouldn’t hurt me would you?’

‘What would make you so special? A young lady walks willingly into my home unannounced and,’ he touched your shoulder gently, your skin getting goosebumps. ‘is no match for me. What makes you think I wouldn’t take a bite.’ His lips hovered over your neck.

‘You won’t hurt me.’ You breathed, his lips barley brushing down your neck and to your shoulder where the gently pressed against your skin.

‘Well, then lets see how well I can control myself.’ He growled against your skin, turning you around and pressing your against the wall. He paused, his eyes growing dark and the veins around his eyes becoming more visible as the darkening seemed to extend past his eyes and onto his actual skin. Your breath hitched and you adverted your eyes looking down to his mouth. Though his eyes looked terrifying his mouth looked so inviting, and you thought you were crazy for wanting nothing more than to kiss him.

Your heart was racing, but not because you were entrapped against a wall with a killed over you, but because your body was reacting to his control Instantly you felt yourself heat up, but if he wanted to play this game, you would play it harder.

You rose your hips off the wall till you were barley touching him, a sign of go. But still, even though he had the green light you struggled, biting your lip and lightly moaning as his strong arms kept you right where you were. He smiled slightly, the first sight of his canines making you even wetter.

‘Are you just going to keep me pinned here.’ You breathed, your eyes flicking back down to his mouth, now wanting nothing more than to have them pressed against yours.

You blamed your crazy behaviors on the night. But you didnt need to. You wanted this, and you wanted this bad. You kept on your struggling, now more because you wanted to wrap your hands around his neck and intertwine your fingers with his hair than for a game, but he still held you down.

‘Im going to have fun with you.’ He smirked, his strong hands moving down your arms to your wrists where he pulled them up and pinned them over your head. ‘Behave, Kitten’

You bit your lip and nodded, your chest rising and falling quickly in anticipation as he so agonizingly slow brought his lips down to yours. With how slow he was moving you had half a thought he was going to take his time with you, but the moment your lips met yours and both of your bodies lit on fire the kiss became dangerous. You couldn’t help how loud you were breathing as you tried to keep up with his pace. Without even pretending to ask for permission his tongue was in your mouth, swirling and dominating yours.

You could tell he was enjoying this kiss just as much as you were when his grip began to soften until you were able to slip your hands past his and wrap them tightly around his neck. Just like you had wanted to, your fingers found his hair and you pulled, trying to entrap yourself between him and the wall. You smile and moaned slightly as he listened to you as one of his hands came to wrap gently around your neck and the other hit the wall with a light this right by your ear.

You started to let your hands roam once he was against your body. They moved down his hard torso and up his back, and back down his hard arms. You started to tug at his collar, wanting to feel his skin now, and he listened. With both hands letting go he let you pull the garment off his body and you took the opportunity of the small space now between you two, to unbutton his shirt as quickly as you could.

You were surprised at how easy it was for you to manipulate him. You tested to see if he was listening by pushing gently against his now bare chest and when he slightly backed off you took the opportunity to push him until he was falling back on the couch. When he looked up at you with a devilish smirk you could tell he was enjoying himself. That though things hadn’t gotten to far yet it was still the most fun he had in a while.

You didnt let your thoughts slow you down, though. Your left leg quickly swung over his lap and your hands onto the open shirt as you started to pull it off of his body. He chuckled when you tossed it over your head and his hands found your waist, bringing you closer. You teased him for half a second before picking the kiss back up, your hips also taking no time in grinding yourself against his lap.

The moment his bulge could be felt through his slacks you smiled and used your nose to press his jaw up so his head was resting against the back of the couch. You let your lips run down his neck like he had to you before and you smiled as you obviously hit a spot that made his hands tighten around your waist. Although no matter how hard you sucked and nipped at his neck nothing showed up, but you knew he was enjoying it. Deep growls and airy moans left his lips every time you went back to his sweet spot, his hands tightening as they guided your hips over him.

When you finally returned your lips to his, his arms wrapped around your waist and supported you back as he sat up to press your body as close to his as he could get it. You smiled again, wedging your hands between the two of you and in one swift movement undid his belt.

This seemed to be the switched that lit his fire. The moment you had pulled the belt from its loops and hooked it around his neck, pulling him harder against you it was time for him to stop pretending you were the boss. In a blink of an eye he had you on your back, his body hovering over you as he examined your outfit. This was going to be fun.

Your eyes locked on his member and you bit your lip, taking an extra second to look at it and your eyes only pulling away when his hands began to roam all over your body, obviously getting very impatient on not being able to figure out how to get you out of the costume.

You chuckled as he breathed hard, shaking your head when he looked at you for help.

‘Fuck it.’ He growled and his two large hands moved up to the collar of your outfit and pulled, ripping it until it was laying open, completely exposing the black bra and part of the black thong you had been wearing.

He reconnected your lips and let you sit up slightly so you could pull the spandex body suit off of your arms. He pushed you back down and deep into the couch when it was off of your shoulders, but only with his kisses, his body had yet to touch yours. You whimpered slightly when he pulled away, sitting up all the way and letting his hands run over your bare body for the first time. You could see something darken before his hands started to pull at your bottom half until it was being pulled completely off of your body.

You watched him closely as his hands found your body once again after discarding the torn black mess now. They moved firmly over your sides, thighs and stomach before his hands pushed themselves up to your bra. His eyes met yours for a second as he squeezed your chest hard and the moment you let out a slight whimper he smirked before ripping the bra down the center.

‘That was uncalled for.’ You said sitting up slightly so it could fall off your shoulders.

‘Maybe.’ He said dangerously before pulling you all the way up harshly.

You didnt know what his intentions were, pulling you up like that but you decided to take the next step, maneuvering your body so your bare body was sliding down his lap and onto the floor in front of him. He watched you with intense eyes, every little movement you made was clocked by him and it almost seemed like he knew exactly what it was your next movement was going to be.

Kneeling in front of him he sighed as your hands pushed up his thighs till your fingers met the buttons of his pants. You looked to him and bit your lip when he rose his eyebrow at you, waiting for you to continue.

You tried not to react too much as you pulled the pants and boxers down, completely undressing him. You didnt want him to see you sweat in anyway, you needed to hold your ground. When he was fully naked he watched you carefully and when you started to stand to once again straddle his lap he caught your wrist, eyes getting even darker.

‘Hands on the table, Kitten.’ He growled, starting to slide himself off of the couch.

You bit your lip and did what he said, sinking back down to your knees and turning so your back was facing him to put your hands on the edge of the table. You looked over your shoulder to him, eyes flicking up and down his body as he stroked himself, slowly circling you.

You were dripping. He wasn’t even touching you and your body ached for him so much that every time he passed your back side you’d let out a light whimper. In a swift motion he dipped to one knee and took your chin in his hand, forcing you to look at him.

‘Are you going to do as I say?’ He said slowly, making you nod. ‘Are you scared?’

You shook your head and bit your lip as he made your cheek touch the cool glass of the table top. You thighs were practically shaking at this point and you couldn’t help but moan as his hands strongly started to grab and rub against your back side. He squeezed and spread you apart quietly. So quietly that you didnt even notice his lips come right beside your ears to speak gently.

‘You have the most beautiful pussy.’ He whispered making you jump, his fingers stroking you slowly once. ‘So wet too. How would you like me to take care of this?’ He added, slipping the tip of his middle and pointer finger just enough into you to tease you and make you moan breathlessly.

‘Use your words.’ He whispered, now lowering his body to touch yours completely and making your skin shiver.

‘Please fuck me, fuck me good god!’ You breathed needy as he was knuckle deep and still pressing his fingers into you.

‘Good Kitten.’

You bit your lip and shut your eyes at the feeling of his fingers slowly pulling out of you. But you were soon forced all the way down to the glass as one hand pressed hard against your head and the other pulled your thighs further apart. You were so ready for him that it seemed like forever that he waited to make contact.

When his tip finally found your entrance you whimpered, watching your breath fog the glass slightly. He grumbled something you couldn’t catch and then with instantly he pushed into you. You whimpered and gasped, your back arching and your head coming off of the glass slightly. He pushed your head back down and held his hands there, telling you to stay put.

Its not that you were scared of him, but you were scared to disobey. You didnt know what he would do, but you knew he would do something that you weren’t sure you would want to find out. So as he pushed into you three times roughly you didnt dare to even make so much as a noise.

He pushed past your walls rapidly after those first few pumps of stretching you out, his hand that was pressing into your head now moving to tangle itself into your hair. You felt his chest rise off of your back leaving goosebumps from the cold air that hit your semi sweaty back. You couldn’t hold back and more, the moment he rounded his hips into yours hitting not only you sensitive spot but also the end to your channel you moaned so loud, your fingers gripping to the edge of the table for some support.

Your grip was released and another moan came from you as he used your hair as a lever to pull you up off of the table, your back arching so you were pressed against his chest now. One hand came to wrap around your front, his fingers gripping tightly to the top of your thigh that you knew would leave marks for the next day. Every pump now he was hitting your cervix, making you try to stand as tall as possible. His grip on you didnt loosen and you couldn’t get away, leaving you to deal with the over waring pleasure that was now shooting through your body.

Yours nails now dug into his skin as you tried to brace your body, the over powering sensation causing your thighs to shake again. You tried to bed for him to let up on you, you didnt want to cum yet since you knew he wasn’t anywhere close. You tapped his arm breathless ‘please’ leaving your lips, but only made him pound harder up into you.

A loud shaky scream left your throat as your body came undone around him, the feeling of his lips on your neck being the thing that set you over the edge. His pumping then slowed as a chuckle caused his chest to shake.

‘What a good Kitten, and I didnt even have to work very hard. But its my turn now, you’re not getting off that easy.’

You whimpered as he rotated the two of you, now forcing your body to press against the hardwood floor, your ass high in the air as he resumed his pace.

‘Lets see how many times you can cum before I do.’ He teased, his hands now roaming your body.

You whimpered again as one had gripped onto a nipple and the other found your clit. There was no time to even catch your breath before he was stimulating your body now in more ways than one. You could already feel it building in your body and he one again didnt even have to try that hard. You were a shaking, moaning mess under him and he loved every moment of it. Such a strong soul just crumbling beneath him.

‘Cum for me kitten, i know you have to.’ He whispered, his own voice now not as over powering as it had been due to his new found need to hold on longer.

You nodded against the floor, tears welling as almost on command your body started to shake again. Another loud groan came from your lips as you reached up to his hand that was teasing your nipple, your hand wrapping around his wrist. You came again, and this time it seemed that all the energy you had had been drained from your body. Seunghyun seemed to be able to tell and with almost a sweet tone to his voice he kissed your shoulder and then moved his lips to your ear to speak.

‘Hold on Kitten, You’re being so good.’

You laid there eyes closed taking in how good he felt in you even after two powerful orgasms. How even though your body was definitely saying no more, it was also saying please keep going.

His voice was repeating himself over and over as he drew nearer to his own orgasm, soft ‘hold on’s’ and ‘so good’s’ left his lips and soon he was letting out his own, deep husky moan and you could feel him releasing inside of you. To your surprise the feeling of him doing that made you let out almost a half orgasm, your own body deciding to cum with his as it twitched a few times. You hummed at the feeling of him pulling out of you.

A small smile met your tired face as he rolled you gently onto your back. You lifted your arms and accepted his body weight as he laid on you between your legs, his lips brushing kisses against your stomach.

As he kissed your skin you watched as he paused, already trying to contain himself as he tried to not let his instincts take over him. Even though you knew this. You knew that he wasn’t trying to hurt you, you couldn’t help but as if he was hungry.

‘That obvious?’ he asked, his lips still against your skin.

You bit your lip and nodded, grabbiing onto the table to help you sit up and propping your tired body on your elbows once up. He looked at you ad you released your lip, slowly bringing your thigh open to show off the soft skin on your inner thigh. He looked at you and then looked at your leg and rose an eyebrow.

‘Have a snack.’

kitty

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