#im trying to get into the local art scene

[moonwabbitt]

im sorry to make so many pluging posts,,

im looking for work, but it's been a slow process, (i started back in dec) my disability limits me to what jobs are available to me in my area, disability payments aren't enough to cover household + pet costs;;; im doing the best i can but i could really use the money

[sev-wildfang]

2015 - 2024

it has been a while since ive felt the courage or need to post something like this. i worked very hard to scrub all pre-2016 photographs of me off the internet in fact, something i realize was not in the spirit of the person who inspired me at all.

for the sake of brevity im not going to post the entirety of my transition. some two or odd years into it i was fully immersed in the feminine persona i was trying to become but still filled with a yearning that seemed to be incurable.

it was a chance encounter on this website that changed my course forever. i saw a transition timeline by a user who has since deleted their blog, detailing year by year their journey to become a kind of trans woman i didnt even know could exist at that point: a trans-feminine butch.

the clarity of their vision intrigued me. it opened a door where previously i only saw an insurmountable wall. this was something one could want to become. this was not a failure state. this was a lighthouse.

"you measure yourself by stricter standards than you do cis women", my then therapist said, "you allow yourself to play with masculinity in your art. in your art you seem to be able to separate it from male-ness. do you think you might want that in real life?"

immediately after that conversation, i looked at the timeline post again. i decided to get a haircut - a variation of the same short undercut that has become my go-to since. i slowly phased out the dresses that had carried my thru the hardest times of my budding transition. most of them i gifted to other trans women who had more of a need for them.

i set to work on my self once more with new purpose and i found first joy, then peace in the never-ending process of becoming. like every terminally online dyke in 2020 i read Stone Butch Blues, read The Locked Tomb, read Hot Allostatic Load, buzzed my hair off twice, got way too many tattoos to count, found community and friendship in my local queer scene as well as among butches online, and learned that i have the capability to love more than one person. and i love all of the people i used to be and no longer am; the problem child, the teenage romantic, the spiteful young man, the girl wrestling with herself, the baby butch still worried about keeping her tokens of femininity about her, the idiot who tought working night shifts was a good idea, and the clown who said this would be short post just some paragraphs ago.

the user who made that post was a lighthouse that went out as soon as i made it to shore, if you forgive the sentimentality. i am not half the butch they were (and maybe still are?) but maybe that's enough to be worth something to someone. it is something to me.

[eunnieboo]

IYHM ask replies! (1/3)

🌸 @daniluvz asked:

I am so happy, I got your book and I am excited it's finally next in my to be read pile!!!!!! I know this is way to soon to ask but will you be making another book? (I had to ask, I know you literally just came out with this one not to long ago, but I love your art and it has inspired me to continue my journey in art and graphic novel) sending all the love and well wishes❣️❣️❣️

wahhh thank you so much!!!! oh my gosh, while it's not a sequel, i AM making another book! i feel like i'm the type to keep big projects close to my chest until the moment i can reveal it to the world, but i have to confess i'm very excited about this one... AH i can't wait!

wishing you well too, i'm so excited for your journey omg!!! sending you all the luck and love in the world!!!!! 💖💖💖

🌸 @perseusrising asked:

my girlfriend and i read your book together! it was absolutely spectacular! thank you so much for sharing such a beautiful story

oh it makes me so happy when i hear about people reading it together!! especially couples! what a wonderful experience to share. thank you <3

🌸 @ggwweenn1 asked:

I work at a library and read "If you'll have me" because I saw it in our new book delivery and thought "oh hey I know them from Tumblr" and then immediately was like "ok ok where can I display this prominently so every 16 year old girl can read it!?!?!" xoxo

AHH i only want the best for everyone who works at libraries!! thank you for all your hard work!!! 😤 also OMG YES... i wish that every girl who needs this book may find it... tysm! xoxo!!

🌸 @elihoneybee asked:

my girlfriend got me iyhm for christmas im so happy thank you for this beautiful book

oh thank you so much!! ;_; i'm always so touched when i hear it's been given as a gift. i think books are such good presents! and giving them is such a sweet gesture <3

🌸 @mythicalphoenix14 asked:

I recently read your book and wanted to tell you how incredible the art was and the story.

oh my gosh. that means so much! thank you forever ♥

🌸 @animaestr0 asked:

me and my friends went to the bookstore a couple montsb back and i SAW "IF YOU'LL HAVE ME" on the shelf and i straight up screamed and yoinked it because I was late to the iyhm preorder chain and couldn't find it anywhere for a while BUT!!!! I HAVE IT NOWW WOOOOOOOOO

OMG YAYYYYYYY i'm so happy to hear that!!! YIPPEEEEE 💕💕 honestly i should've reblogged the preorder link more but i'm so slow to act and afraid of being annoying 😩 i wanna try harder next time!!

🌸 Anonymous asked:

I saw your sneak peak scene on twitter and i just fell in love with your artstyle in a heartbeat, the colors, your way of setting the scene and i just wanted to tell ya i ordered if you'll have me! ps: i'm from germany! :)

you are so wonderfully sweet oh my gosh! ;0; thank you so much for your kind words!! may it get to you safely~

🌸 Anonymous asked:

i saw iyhm in a store today! i'm in australia so i was going to buy it online but i was so moved seeing irl :') it's on my bookshelf. congrats on getting published, i'm so excited to read it!

oh my goodness, thank you! SAME every time i see it in a store, my heart skips a beat 💓 i feel very grateful to have physical copies out in the world, especially with the state of digital media preservation today... thank you again!!

🌸 @unfortunatelyem asked:

read the iyhm graphic novel in one sitting and almost cried!!! thank you for the food🙏

wahhh thank you so much for reading and enjoying!!!!

🌸 @dancingcoder28 asked:

Just wanted to tell you that I saw your book in my local library! I am so happy and excited to see it because it’s such a good book, and definitely deserves to be put out there 💜💜💜💜

AHHH yessss we love libraries!! omggg thank you so much for this lovely message, that means the world 💛💛💛💛

🌸 Anonymous asked:

HI HELLO i just wanted to let you know that my friends and i went to the big barnes and nobles in NYC recently and i recognized If You'll Have Me on display and ofc i HAD to have it so I picked it up right away and absolutely adored every page of it and thank you sososo much for giving us such a lovely story <33 it made me smile so much !!!!!!!

OMG THANK YOU AHHH!!!!! oh i wanted so much for it to make someone smile!!! T_T my dreams are coming true... i hope it felt like a warm hug <3 <3

🌸 @cosmonautchan asked:

SAW YOUR BOOK AT MY LOCAL WATERSTONES!!! IT'S SUPER COOL!!!

THANK YOU AHHH HOW WONDERFUL!!! i would love to visit a waterstones someday!!

🌸 Anonymous asked:

Hiii I'm in the middle of reading IYHM (digital version cuz I don't trust my local post office sorry 😔) and it makes me feel so uwu. I'm happy to see wlw works out there (I've read mostly mlm so far). Momo is so relatable it almost hurts, I too overthink absolutely everything. Congratulations on the release!!! Here's to many more! 🎉 🥂

totally understand omg rip 😔🙏 but yayyyy i'm so thrilled! the overthinking is so real for me too. also uwu is EXACTLY the feeling i wanted to capture 😂 the uwus and the doki dokis... i wish i had even more time to show the girls being cute and fluffy with each other! maybe next time hehe. thank you so much!!!

🌸 @hyper0bject asked:

heyyy i just got a copy of IYHM in! excited to read it, been following the mini comics for a bit now and pulled the trigger on it a couple days ago :) even just looking it over it looks super quality, print and heft! thanks!

ahh i'm so happy to hear that! thank you so much!! i'm still so pleased with how the physical copies turned out. i like paperbacks because of how they feel to hold, but i was amazed to find out the hardback has the art printed right onto the cover! i totally wasn't expecting it. ty again! :>

🌸 Anonymous asked:

I just wanted to let you know I remember seeing art of momo and PG when I was in seventh grade (the "you're the cute one" art) and today I saw them on the cover of a book at my library and I almost couldn't believe it!!! I finished it within that same afternoon, and I gotta say I'm so happy you were able to publish these girls. I love them to bits. keep up the amazing work!!!

omg it's been so long since i drew that!! it's amazing that you remembered them and that they came back to you like this!!! thank you so much aw... this is so incredibly sweet... i wish i had more words to say thank you <33

🌸 @lemonbaristas asked:

Happy book birthday!!! 🎉

thank you so much!!! 🥺💕

part 2 is on its way~

[0-n-1-x]

not sure if anyone’s put this out yet but Damian and drama actress reader or theatre nerd reader. maybe reader trying to get him to try out for the local drama club with her I know he canonically took drama classes once. Thank u :)

im a BIG theatre nerd so i chose a more classical approach, but i could also see Damian with a musical theatre nerd reader

Damian doesn’t initially understand your passion for theater, but he respects how much effort you put into it. He’s always watching from the shadows during your rehearsals, analyzing your performance with a deep curiosity. If anyone gives you trouble—whether it’s harsh criticism or unnecessary pressure—you might notice that person mysteriously drops out of the production or just stops bothering you altogether. Damian doesn’t admit it, but he's involved.

He’s not the type to sit front-row during performances, but Damian attends every single one of your shows. He often hides in the far back of the auditorium or watches from the wings, ensuring you don’t feel pressured by his presence. Afterward, he’ll tell you his thoughts in detail, giving sharp critiques of the other actors and how they couldn’t match your emotional depth.

You love discussing plays, both modern and classic, and Damian often finds himself caught up in these late-night conversations. He doesn’t admit it, but he’s fascinated by your analysis. You dissect character motivations, plot twists, and symbolic meanings in plays like Hamlet or A Streetcar Named Desire. He even starts chiming in with his own sharp interpretations, surprising you with how deeply he can analyze complex characters. “Blanche Dubois? She’s merely hiding her vulnerabilities behind a facade, much like some of Gotham’s criminals. But in her case, society's rejection leads to her downfall.”

Damian’s knowledge of martial arts comes in handy when you’re practicing for stage combat. He insists on helping you rehearse fight scenes, offering tips on how to make your movements more believable while keeping you safe. After all, who better to teach you about fighting than someone who’s been trained by the League of Assassins?

“Your form is weak here. If this were a real fight, you’d be disarmed within seconds.”

“It’s theater combat, not life-or-death!”

[1-49]

TOURIST GUIDE: The top 7 things you don’t want to be doing when in Paris.

Imagine,

the brightest, most perfect winter’s day imaginable. Crisp, chilly, and beautiful. Warm cafés, busy streets, and gentle breezes ──── stellar architecture, metros, and museums. If anything, Paris is the most magical place on earth, but having Sungchan there makes it even more so.

That being said,

here is a list of the Top 8 things and situations to look out for, & don’t indulge in when you are in Paris if you don’t want to fall in love. A doomed guide for both tourists and locals, eh.

tags: fluff, love, sure it carries its angst though ⁝ fun concept to approach given i wasn’t going to write a fic nor it fits exactly into headcanon, so yeah. he has made me dizzy with his paris photos im sooo sorry. wc. 3k

Fan fact: The French term ‘Coup de foudre’ describes when someone feels completely blown away by someone they have recently met. In literal terms, it means lightning strike. If you have been ‘struck by lightning’ in this way, a common feeling is that you can tell the person everything bc they just get you

Good luck!

THE CRASH

A stunning stranger seated a short distance away from you in a small cafe is always a threat—but this is not just any stunning stranger. As you converse with your friend, he’s also conversing with his group of friends. Passing phones and a camera make their giggles sound like a good time. 

Every chance you get, you glance at him while speaking with your friend because it’s so tempting to do so. Little sparks shoot out the moment the stare is returned; when your gazes meet halfway; when he’s caught, too, for naively trying to get your attention.

When your friend catches on to the fact that you’re looking at what is behind her rather than her.

When she turns around to reinvestigate the situation and notices that he’s staring in your direction, she instantly understands.

When she gives him a smile and turns back to face you, who moved too slowly to stop her.

The stranger which then believes that you both had a conversation about him.

The friend who first exposed you is also the one who is now pushing you to use the restroom; for if he meets you halfway again, chances are good he’s into you too.

Her point is validated when you find yourself in a small hallway, pretending to scroll through your phone, as he moves toward you.

Scents of rich vanilla, chocolate, coffee, and wine fill the dimly lit secluded part of the café, which has burgundy walls. His physique is too large to fit in the narrow hallway. His eyes and smile translate love. His confession is full of tenderness, affection, & promising good times.

THE ‘NO’ PLAN

It’s already outside of your plan to plan the remainder of your day. Order breaks out. Chaos ensues. What was already set in motion was interrupted by him, a tourist named Sungchan. But a Paris show-off won’t be a show-off without a museum, so there goes that theory. 

In any case, a museum or art gallery is a must, so thirty minutes later, you are showing him around one of the many museums. The grand rooms echo with silence as you hope that the angels are praying for you to make it to the end of the tour. It’s simply so overwhelming to be next to such beauty. You can’t stop thinking how much he fits the scene. 

The line of his nose; his lips; the shadows of his collarbones; the wrinkles of his smile; the flow of your hair; the trickle of his laugh—for all of these, he is worthy of a museum.

So when you finally get your hands on the previously ‘passed-around’ camera, an exhibit of blue curiosities rests on his shoulders. Quickly, you take some pictures of him with the Rothko piece. It’s impossible to determine which is more beautiful—him or the artwork. 

There are repercussions for that, as he leads you to allow him to take a picture of you—his ulterior motive, though, to have a picture of you forever. You’ll be with him no matter what, even after he leaves this city and you behind.

JUST TOURISTY THINGS

Time will separate the two of you, just as a river divides Paris, but as you continue to stroll beside the Seine, where musicians sing of hopeless love and painters craft their works in the open, the issue of time is not a priority. If anything, all the time in the world at this moment is yours.

He grabs your hands and spins the two of you around, his hair brushed with sun-kissed shades of cinnamon brown. Claiming he isn’t immune to music, so you can’t be critical and should just follow his example.

But when the spinning becomes too intense and he feels lightheaded, he tries to steady himself by staring into your eyes for longer than he should. Your proximity scares you, but you’re concerned and ask if he’s okay. 

A smile appears on his face as a result of your concern for him, while a heavenly presence is tipping from his eyes as he’s making a promise that he’s good, if not better than ever.

A smile that inspires hope & makes you believe. A smile that undoubtedly had great power to bring you both to this point. He’s beautiful in every sense. Mentality, personalty, appearance.

He’s even surpassing the Eiffel Tower in terms of beauty with ease!

Your captured images, with him as the subject, create the most ideal postcards, and as you’re showing them to him, it’s when a feeling of sad nostalgia envelops you prior to even parting ways with him. You come to the realization that you desire to spend more time with him, not just one day.

But all you get is one day... 

A magic day... that is gradually starting to turn into a night—and as the two of you walk on the fresh-washed gravel paths through the Luxembourg Gardens, the wind becomes clearer and sharper.

Even the bare trees, which you’re used to seeing against the sky, seem to be feeling the warmth of his touch as he insists on pushing and spreading his fingers inside your palm. His vibrance makes even the leafless trees feel less lonely. He takes your hand in such a way that you aren’t even allowed to give him a warning look. Hand in hand, you have no choice but to chase after him.

NO DESTINATION BACK UP

Does it even matter that he doesn’t know the city? 

The ecstasy you are running on is surley telling you that it’s all about getting lost and  discovering yourself in unfamiliar places—and that’s all because of him.

The startled look in this stranger’s eyes as you two nearly cross a street at a red light due to his rushing… 

As he begins to apologize while biting his lower lip, claiming he didn’t mean to. 

His deer-eyes in the headlights are all that you can focus on really. It’s tempting to say, ‘It’s okay,’ but there is something about his apologetic expression that makes you feel as though he’s completely enclosing you in his gaze. 

His eyes are hugging you while he apologizes. It has been a long time since you felt something like that—felt completely safe. Sincerely, and risk-free. He’s a walking green light. So then, it’s a bit sadistic of you to wish for his apology to last longer. 

But how can you not?

When his hand squeezes yours even harder, and he turns all starry eyes while biting his lip in fear?

Someone you would definitely want to try and fit into your pocket, regardless of his height or width.

CRAMPED SPACES

When the cruelness of the night finally reaches your bones, chasing a tiny, romantic restaurant is the only way to soothe the cold.

The warmth of the atmosphere meshes with his gray cardigan, and you find yourself moving more and more into his comfort zone due to the crowded space, where many are seeking refuge for the same reason as you two. 

His rich scent fills the air around you and his knees keep touching yours due to the close proximity. The wine glass dangles in his hand and his lips become more and more affected, picking up a cherry hue.

His collarbones exhibit every movement of his body, and for whatever reason, you feel an insatiable urge to reach for the soft, grey wool and uncover more.

You’re so invested in this delicate area it’s making you feel absolutely irrational. The constant spreading of his hand through his lush hair and pushing it behind is only adding to your obsession. Regardless of how often he does this, the silky hair flies back into his eyes every time.

He has this habit of dipping his small fork into your chocolate mousse, taking a bite, then flirting while he listens to you talk and plays with the fork, letting the sharp tips sink into his soft lips.

The gesture merely begs for your attention, so in order to stay true to yourself, you greet him by clinking glasses with him. But as soon as his glass touches yours, you have to look him in the eyes again and be so sincere... You lose either way.

This gorgeous person’s natural flirtatious charm can’t be escaped. His focus shifting between your lips and eyes as he attentively listens to you is quite possibly the hottest thing about him. 

And although he insists on practising some French words, he continually mispronounces ‘croissants’ and ‘creme brulee’. He got ‘Bonjour’, ‘Bonsoir’, and ‘baguette’ right, which is worthy of notice; and the greatest reward would be a peck on the cheek, which he hasn’t yet received...

The fork remains sunk in his lips. If there’s one dessert that can be described as the ‘most scrumptious’, it’s him.

UNDERGROUND MISHAPS

Running with him in hand is a somewhat exciting experience. You aren’t sure where he got his stamina, but you’re sprinting down the stairs and will have some downtime when you two board the next metro.

When you reach underground platform though, a sea of tourists waits impatiently to go home or explore the outside world.

His hand carefully slides around your waist as you wait, standing side by side, your chests exploding from all the running. Whether it’s to protect you or keep you to himself, the intent is unclear.

And just as you’re about to look up to give him another warning glance, you realize that you’ve already forgotten how many there were. His adorable facial expressions are the reason you never succeed.

Obviously, the wine has increased his energy—his feelings are in his eyes. 

His features quickly and suddenly take on an emotive tone. A line appears between his brows and a hint of melancholy on his face as recognition dawns. Maybe the effects of the end of the day are finally starting to catch up with him.

You realize that he’s a lot of fun—the type of person who always sees the glass half full but who is also, presumably, grounded enough to realize that something is in the way and the glass isn’t quite enough full. Though he’ll eventually have to face it... saying goodbye to you is probably the biggest treat.

His hand is trembling inside yours...

... whether from anger, sadness, or excitement, it can be all of them or then

“Sungchan,”

You barely have time to finish what you started before he pulls you in and gives you a hug. Metros, come and go. People are walking past you, but he freezes this moment.

His coat’s lapels seem kind enough to part away, giving you more personal space and allowing your ear to fall directly on his heart.

His hand falls effortlessly over your head, as soft as a snowflake as he says, “It’d ruin everything if we said anything. Let’s not.” He carasses your hair and then plants a kiss.

A hug so strong that it keeps you safe from the passing of time. 

However, even this beam of sunshine has a heart, and it rains. Not even he has the complete ability to stop time from passing. The earth orbits, and the leaves dissipate.

Though what he can do is, 

he can certainly seize some of the light in the circumstance as he pulls on your hand once more, making the promise of, “Trust me.”

FALLING IN LOVE

There is definitely a sense of a ‘Trust me’ irony in the situation however, about how you won’t fall in love with him.

He seems to be pointing you in the direction of the photo booth at the end of the platform, which he noticed while your bodies were merging together. 

You’re fairly certain that those will be your favourite, worst-ever photos of the two of you, but the only memory you can physically hug, so you decide not to argue.

Naturally, the cubicle is small, but what do you expect from a metro photo booth?

The sweet giant battles his height and shoulders to enter, and when he does, he just hovers above you, looking down. His palms pressed against two different walls, and his neck bent at an awkward angle because you have taken all the ‘what can hardly be called a’ seat. 

Like it is your fault, right?

With a tongue poke to his cheek and raised brows, he’s subtly advising you to do ‘this one thing.’

Like hell, “I’m not sitting in your lap,” you bat your eyelashes at him. 

“It’s too late to back out. Plus, I don’t think there’s any other way to make this work.”

The goofy grin morphs his whole face into what it would be to stand under the sun; his cheeks rise higher the more he shows teeth. He’s so cute. It melts your heart.

Your mouth stays open in shock as you say, “But it is you who wanted this,” before you endearingly defend yourself. “This was your idea.” How very ‘trust me’ of him. In the end, you accept. “Okay, fine,” you sulk while pouting.

Satisfied, he clicks his tongue. You both knew that you would accept; you just wanted to have some fun, didn’t you?

You eventually create room for him to sit, but when it comes time for you to sit, you hesitate. But then you feel his hands dragging your waist down, and the next thing you know, you’re in his lap. He has lost all patience.

You sigh with annoyance, but even you know it is all a front. 

Now hesitant to move, your back remains pressed against his chest, and you’re even halfway there trying to maintain your balance on your feet instead of lounging comfortably in his lap. However, his back hug is particularly effective because it feels like his palm is pressing deeper into your tummy, encouraging you to relax even more into him.

His thighs radiate unnecessary heat, and his warm breath tickles the side of your neck as his chin rests on your shoulder. He teases you, whispering, “You can face me you know, I don’t bite.”

There is an absolute anarchy, there beneath his palm, in your belly. Not the whispering tone!! 

You tilt your head back (ironically, letting it rest where his shoulder and neck meet), gazing at the near ceiling and mentally calculating the number of seconds until you lose your mind.

He rests with you, for a minute, or two… his heart densely kicking in your back, but you swear it’s a peaceful moment. He’s able to magically stop the flow of time, no matter what!

Perhaps outside of the small world that you two inhabit, the metro passes by for the fifth time, and perhaps the waiting area is swept by cleaners once more while your shoes peek out from under the curtain, threatening to blow your cover.

However, time never really stops—especially in this place, the City of Light, Paris, a city that never sleeps.

“Let—um” His voice cracks for the first time before he finally says, “Uh—Let us take those pictures.”

You shut your eyes, allowing the angst of the situation to have its way with you before turning to face him.

His brows appear flat, and the crack between them is even deeper than it used to be. Even his lips are fuller than they used to be. Or could it simply be the face-to-face intimacy that is causing them to appear in such a way?

All this time, you thought it was just a playful lust, an undeniable attraction, when, in fact, what you’re finding is love—love looking straight into your eyes.

You no longer need to hold it within you. You just admit it, completely aware that nothing will change but that it will undoubtedly have some significance because it’s better to let things out than to hold them inside.

“Sungchan,” you pause for a moment, “I don’t want you to leave.”

Like you haven’t already felt them, he takes your hand and puts it over his heart, allowing you to feel the butterflies surging through his chest. Your lips to your eyes is the route he prefers to travel most. “I don’t want to leave either,” he admits voice light and airy.

As you look at him, every time the photo booth camera flashes a bright light, the butterflies burst rhythmically—because of that, and as much at the magic, and at the calculated touch of a girl who, in the past, had learned to trust no one. Yet, here you are, choosing to trust someone you have just met & won’t see again.

Your hands tremble against his cheeks as you gently cup his face and begin your slow, careful inspection. His tense muscles slowly relax under your touch as you run a finger across the peak of his eyebrow.

You feel an influx of emotions as you begin to understand that this person is an angel. You’re tracing every inch of him into your brain—soaking up every star in his eyes and every mole on his face—because an angel like this can never be met twice...

His greatest quality, you think, even in this kind of ‘damned’ situation, is that he can’t stay serious; a smile lights up his face. The only word that adequately expresses how you feel is wanting to ‘devour’ the damned smile that lingers close to your lips. He’s irresistible.

Cute or sexy are terms that are so confusing with him. You aren’t sure to which he’s supposed to be leaning towards. It’s driving you crazy. He simply can not be defined.

And the more he holds you, the more confident he gets. He started off politely, treating you like a paper bird, and then he abruptly stops apologizing. His lashes start to make out slowly with the narrow look he gives you. His thumb glides over your bottom lip. There is only one meaning to it.

Conversely, the photos taken are sitting in the photo outlet. You whisper, “Sungchan,” gesturing to the pictures and apparently indicating that ‘your work here is done.’ 

His firm grip on your jaw, however, fiercely brings your face into his. His winey breath is coating your lips.

“But,” you knit your brows, “our series of pho—”

His index finger stops your lips from moving mid-sentence. “Let’s make another one.”

“You—you’re getting too comfortable in this,” You stagger over what you are saying as his nose brushes against yours, “for-for well, for something that will never happen again.” 

“That’s exactly why I need those photos,” he says, chewing the inside of his cheeks in response to your somewhat insensitive comment.

“And we—And we,” you keep breaking, “We’ve been her—

“Can I kiss you?” He brutally cuts you off.

His sugary lower lip is already pressed against yours. It no longer interests him what you’re saying. It’s a quiet question, but there is some dangerously real intent behind it.

Yes, but can he beg for a kiss?

Sure,

as if he’s breathing in the air that he knows he’ll be missing out on, his lips remain waiting for a sign before they get messy.

His thumb ignites ‘instant fire’ in every pore on your cheek with each precise circle. It’s more like he is consuming you in advance. 

Your thoughts are numb, and your heart is stuck in your throat. You don’t want to forget any part of it all, and you’re bound to in the high you’re experiencing right now... He was right when he advised it to be documented.

The gaping mouths. The tender lip-stroking. The deep, slow breathing. The hot air exchange.

His teeth clenched in pain. The energy he surrounds you with is so intense.

Your “Fuck!”

& Sungchan’s “Please,”

occur simultaneously.

© 𝟭-𝟰𝟵. do not copy, translate, repost, and modify my works.

[creehd]

IM SCREECHING OVER THIS ROARING 20s AU,

but very politely holding your shoulders and giving you a little shake.

I haven't watched much teenage mutant ninja turtles unfortunately, but from what i do know, you putting them in the 1920s is absolutely FASCINATING. The difference in politics and the World in general from the modern version to your AU is just,,, HNGNGNGG im chewing on the leg of your desk

Do they act differently?? Or are they relatively similar to their modern counterparts? How are they forced to adapt to this universe? Are they still ninja trained? How did they get turned into mutant turtles, and what's Shredder's (who you MUST draw, im begging you), motive during this time period? 👀 DO THEY STILL LIKE PIZZA?????

And most importantly, may i give Splinter a kiss on the head? 👉👈

Amazing art as always <3

I owe you my life for this ask. I can feel myself being pulled back into both my obsessions with TMNT and the early 1900s.

SO I'M STILL BUFFERING EDGES AND WORKING OUT WHAT EXACTLY I WANNA DO WITH CERTAIN CHARACTERS BUT HERES THE MAIN SYNOPSIS;

In 1923 New York, post ww1, splinter is the last of his lineage of samurai in the Edo period in Japan, escaping to New York and attempting to build a new life when he came into contact with the Foot, a long-established gang with ties to shredder a yakuza boss who also immigrated from japan at the end of the 1800s once he lost his title as shōgun. He is controlling many facets of New York through experimental science and crime.

Mainly being; bootlegging, gambling, auto theft, narcotics, robbery, And any other gang-sanctioned activity.

In an attempt to stop him, splinter soon finds himself mortally wounded and in desperation to save his life, he is mutated into a rat, alongwith 4 baby turtles and an entire lab of wildlife. (Animal testing has been around for awhile) Hiding away with his newly found family and recovering from injuries that made him slowly lose his eyesight, the boys began to grow in the shadows of a newly technological America.

And that's kinda what I got as an explanation for how exactly splinter got here and what happened before the turtles grew up.. AS FOR THEIR PERSONALITIES. I try to keep them similar, I take inspiration from each different continuity of tmnt for what I think the perfect imalgamation would look like for a basis for who they are, and then I made it time period accurate!

So in order-

Leonardo: Leo is a big boy scout, he respects splinters wisdom and teachings, and when I think of him I picture Steve Roger's before the Super Soldier serum, Leo believes in New York, and he believes he and his brothers can help fight the rampant and rising gang-related crime in the city. He also enjoys tennis, chess,and card playing, alongside supporting the local flapper scene in the city. He also heavily supports freedom of the press AND believes in the abolishment of prohibition! (Not bc he likes to drink but because he WANTS freedom and justice for all) loves to listen to radio shows with Donnie and read newspapers and magazines to keep up with current trends and events.

Donatello: Donnie is hugely interested in the rise of technology across America, hugely interested in the works of Albert Einstein and the amazing minds behind the Tuberculosis vaccine (baxter stockman in this au is a scientist who basically helped discover penicillin before the incident™️) , he's fascinated with radios and tvs however they aren't as sophisticated as he might like yet, he believes he can help the field of science alongside his brothers as a crime fighter, although it isn't his passion to fight, he sees fighting as a science of its own. His hobbies include radio shows and reading! (His favorite book is at the earth's core by Edgar rice Burroughs) and he also really really enjoys April's company, and dressing up with her.

Raphael: Raphael is a vigilante at heart, but also a bit too hotheaded and selfish to see when he is in too deep, he heavily engages in the night life and the scummier parts of New York, bar fights, alley brawls, deals gone wrong, you name it, raphs got a fire for fighting for what's right. He rubs elbows with many of the lower-class gangs, who are just trying to get by, and after learning about the struggles of suffragettes, he lends a hand when he can with their growing cause, he's also a huge jazz fan, attending many flapper shows and frequenting speakeasies. Before he met Casey in late 1919, he dreamed of nothing more than to fight in the Great War, however, when he met Casey Jones, he was quickly attuned to the horrors the war brought to its soldiers, and how horrendously they were discarded after, and prompting vowing to help veterans in need. He and Casey are close and frequently engage in going to silent films, recreational drinking, and smoking together.

Michelangelo: Mikey is an artist, he loves his city and its people, and alongside being an incredibly talented martial artist crimefighter alongside his brothers, he believes in peace and love above everything. (Although he'll finish a fight if he has to) him and raph clash heavily on how to handle issues in new york, and while they can't see perfectly eye to eye, they overlap on alot of ideals and pastimes. Mikey is a prolific painter like his namesake, as well as a silent film connoisseur, a birdwatching fan, a huge fan of jazz, and a frequent at lgbt nightclubs in Harlem.

NOW FOR THE NON TURTLE CHARACTERS!

Splinter: Splinter was born in Japan in the mid 1855, he is now in his late 60s, trying to pass on his knowledge of the time to his sons, while training them the way of the samurai and ninja from when he was a boy. Splinters mutation heavily affected his eyesight, and training and keeping in touch with his culture and fighting traditions helped him overcome the difficulty of navigation, along with his mutated hearing and smell. He's a strict older Japanese dad, he loves his boys but is hesitant about the new boom of technology and heavily encourages the boys to stick to their traditional ways while fighting for what's right.

April: April moved to the city from smalltown in 1915, daughter of a farmer, she came in hopes of starting a career for herself and eventually settle down, but as things began to go down hill for the aspiring woman, she began to work a day job as a secretary at the New York World Newspaper company and at night as a flapper, she ends up getting caught up In ganglife around new york before meeting the turtles during a chance encounter with the foot gang.

Casey Jones: Casey Jones is a poor young man from New Jersey, high aspirations and low funds led him to leave his abusive household and seek out adventure during the draft in 1917, Casey fought In the Great War in Europe, and came back a changed man. Shortly after his return to the States, he moved to New York City to try to rebuild a life he once yearned for, when he meets Raphael. Both boys begin to start a bond, sharing the same pastimes and enjoying the same sights the city has to offer, but it's hard to navigate a life that feels so foreign after his enlistment, what's even harder is understanding why he'd rather enjoy the company of Raphael rather than the girls they watch on stage. He still engages in recreational hockey and the occasional book club since Leo and Donnie insist on helping him with his dyslexia.

As for their motives.. they're just trying to help clean up the streets and not get traumatized along the way! But that's never how it works out is it..

And for the villians.. this posts getting a bit long so I'll make a seperate post about shredder and his whole deal, along with the krang :]

And of COURSE they still love pizza! They're the ninja turtles, it came free with the Xbox,

But if u want an actual answer yes they still love pizza, alot of Italian immigrants came to New york in 1880ish through 1930, and pizza was starting to super get popular.

(And splinter always gets alittle kiss)

BUT YES that's what we're cooking with so far!! And I have many idea for them, and would love to hear more thoughts and opinions !!! Please. This is my brainchild I'm foaming at the mouth to share it.

ask box is always open!!

[helloliriels]

It's WIP Wednesday!

Liri, Liri, oh so cheery

How does your WIP garden grow?

🥰 Aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, STELLA!!! I'm currently reviving several WiPs (and super excited about them!!!) THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!! (and now i feel like i have some accountability):

Six Impossible Things - John finds a list hidden in a book ...

(I Thought I Knew) The Shape of You - tentacles happen

Antagonish - a non-TEH compliant return fic 1st ch already up

The Shape of Us - another 1st ch up fic that i am continuing

FTH fic for thegildedbee (making progress!!!) - it has morphed again (a collage was an excellent way to put it!!!) and I have a good feeling about it this time! It will be something brand NEW!

Christmas in Honeycutt - thinking thinky thoughts ... and may get a few scenes written soon! Found my way forward!

Sleepless in London - may start to jump around writing scenes and see what happens *crosses fingers* definitely have a way fwd!

Paint Me Like I'm Yours - John is taking an art class. Sherlock volunteers to model. Explicit. (yes, im finally going to finish it and POST dammit!) 😎

Spin the Bottle - explicit jumper chapter insert I teased (2 yrs ago???) and wrote three or four times, but never shared (only im taking the jumper authorship back). and going to move it to my psued. see how this works ... 🤞(oh god)*takes deep breath*🤞

We'll see what happens!!!!

And then a few new prompts jumped into my mind:

Sherlock Moves the Furniture - (jeezus) ... this one is happening! (apparently)

An Annual Engagement (TBD) - Sherlock visits the office every year, to fill out papers and other formalities. This year he runs into someone interesting, and wonders if he has to wait a year to see them again?

Prompts I'd love to read but not gonna write, have at!

Invitation Only - Unilock. John gate crashes a party at a posh house and spends the evening hiding with another gatecrasher (or so he thinks). Turns out to be the guest of honor. Embarrassment and misunderstanding ensues. Sherlock crashes John's next party in return to try to win him over.

Twisters AU - John is a YouTube star and local storm wrangler with a New York journalist riding along for the storm season, when a gorgeous outsider shows up from London (?) making waves in the rival teams camp. Who is this guy? and how the hell is he always one step ahead of John's team? (I wonder if we can beg @discordantwords for this one instead??? haha.) (kidding not kidding) i would eat this up for breakfast.

Something Missing - Sherlock has a habit. Stealing. He only steals what he needs. And has rules. So many rules. About the houses he steals from. About the frequency of theft. An egg or two here. A cup of milk there. A scoop of laundry detergent. Never enough to get caught. When he frequents a couples house (Watson's) and figures out the wife is not what the husband thinks ... he begins to wonder about his rule of not interfering in his hosts lives ... ?

I guess that's enough to be going on. There are a few more, but I'm unburying myself from the loudest first. THANK you STELLA for asking!!!!! (god that was a long answer) bahaha! - xoxo Liri

[dexterlittle]

Comics?

Hi Ghoap people! And shippers from the COD universe! I see comics are popular (Im also a sucker for those so dont worry!)

And I was wondering: What are the bare minimums for you to enjoy a comic? You see, I never really worked on a comic. I tried years ago for a project of some sort in my local area but never got anywhere. I always struggled with my art, perfection, proportion etc I put a lot of pressure on myself and projects a lot and either i dont do much effort or I do WAY too much and it burns me out. I get overwhelmed and it’s not fun. I am always feeling some imaginary pressure from others as I often got judged in the past and got my things examined closely and it started to get me paranoid and make me feel not good enough. Thats why I never published art before I joined Ghoap in over ten years or so. Im also terrified of art thieves and even more of all that AI shit going around. I want to be credited and known for my art, not be forgotten while my art keeps being reposted you know? SO if I were to make a comic (at least try) and tell a story, what are the bare minimums requirements? I see some comics have amazing art and I know I can’t deliver that. But I do see diversity of style from the 1Farm1 AU from Grimmzee to the Monster 141 AU from Bluegiragi to the CoffeeShop AU from Blueishfishfood and many more I’ve seen here and there. Some have backgrounds, some dont and some have simple elements. Some have amazing details and shading, some have basic shadings etc But what they all have in common is: getting proportions quite good if not excellent. And amazing angles instead of the basic standing/sitting. And all those nice facial expression that makes it nice to read what the character might feel. Especially the eyes for characters such as Ghost or Roach. Aaaand I know colors don’t matter. So at least there’s that. So what are the minimum requirements? I don’t expect doing amazing fight scenes like the Monster AU, I am clearly not that talented ahah but I know that it’s more interesting to have… something more than standing characters all the time. So please in the comments, let me know? Show me exemples? Doesnt have to be COD related but just comics from people around the internet who do it for fun and not professionals working for DC Comics for example ahah I just want to tell stories so badly but I know that writing is… a lot for me. Too much even. I’ll keep trying… but it’s complicated for now. And I know that comics are a great way to see your art get better with time! Lots of mangaka got better the more time passed so.. Why not me? Oh also another comic I’ve been following for years is A Tales of Two Rulers by Figmentforms And THAT is something I can never achieve. The attention to details and the shading and… UGH <3 But it still makes me want to tell a story. So please, comment and let me know! <3 Thank you! -Dexterlittle

[nuranalknowsall]

Me, a Chinese Canadian ranking the EA members of the losh in no particular order

disclaimer: i like to assess characters based on potential in order to cope with the shit that occurs in canon. This means, this entire thing is mostly how i would write them rather then a critique on how they are written in canon.

1. harmonia li: lol harmonia li seems like those rich, hard core chinese classical members of the benevolent chinese society while also having a love-hate relationship the local diasporic china town for being 'unclean' and unauthentic enough. What i'm trying to say, is harmonia li is a v textbook of what a chinese person is supposed to be, and uhhhh distant in terms of relatability... Paul levitz probs did some shallow research regarding her 'previously studying w/ confucian,' (which I hc she had to cross dress for that shit, knowing that confucian is sexist af). I think she does have potential as an immortal, and as a time traveller, to be a random easter egg. I would also like her to be a potential avenue to explore 31st century china. Like, china is old af. Another millenium to us, is nothing.

2. dragon mage: uhhh he is annoying im sorry... the western perception of chinese dragons , much less designs of chinese dragon themed characters, was/still is so crass and ugly. That being said, I do want more magical systems based upon traditional chinese knowledge, and I think harmonia li and dragon mage would be great for that. do we get that tho? no. Are we going to get that any time soon? probably not.

3. threeboot shrinking violet: i have such mixed feelings about shrinking violet? like fuck yea her opening scene is so fucking funny and badass, and the concept of her being a team meme and her own teammates not really knowing if she's even real, is hilarious, but like... the concept of an asian girl who can shrink is not very ground breaking and by not v groundbreaking i mean... what is up with white ppl's fetish of asian girls having shrinking powers and being small? like do yall not like us taking up space? does it make you uncomfortable? Also, the whole worldbuilding aspect, of her (asian-coded) people worshipping brainiac 5, a white coded character, because he introduced them to uhhhhh taking up less space... how do i say this? racially charged? is it racially charged? am i overanalyzing this? probably. do i care that im overanalyzing this? no. that being said, on the 0.000000000000000001% chance threeboot!shrinking violet makes a comeback, i would totally want an pulpy action stand alone issue ft her exploring the microscopic world all by herself.

4. bendis boot cosmic boy: finally some fucking food... oh wait did the monkey paw just move? damnit. look, i get that it's a new reboot, hence new stuff, but i think we can all agree that bendis did not do much research, much less, put in much thought, about what makes cosmic boy cosmic boy. the fact that he's a wrestler of metal animals instead of a prodigy at magnoball kinda says a lot about how bendis's understanding of the entire losh was super shallow. ie) bendisboot cosmic boy being a stand-alone wrestler and being used to the spotlight instead of a prodigy team player and how that affects his leadership skills, and potential to recognize his teammates skills and delegate their weaknesses while excelling individually... im screaming... i'm mourning. Where are my representation for asian team athletes? we exist you know?

5. karate kid: Ok. I read karate kid's first appearence by jim shooter, and the fact that the entire legion suspected him of being the spy/traitor despite the fact that he is just a prodigy at martial arts, and thus will have some physical limitations in committing the crimes that occurred making him highly unlikely to be the spy, just recks of microagression to me. i'm sorry i had to get that off my chest. I do think it's v important for karate kid to be an interracial child, bc i do think we need more mixed race characters esp for stories set in the 31st century... there does have the potential for karate kid to have nuance, like for example, there could be an arc where he was raised by his white mother, while estranged from his asian father, and his only connection to his culture was through martial arts. IDK i just feel like karate kid's heritage has gone unaddressed despite having a lot of potential. Hell, fricking chameleon boy has more arcs addressing his durla side, then karate kid's mix heritage. (if you're mixed asian btw, feel free to chime in, and talk about anything missed regarding karate kid, bc i feel like mixed asian ppl's voices are often lost and go unspoken).

6. golden lantern: I was told he was supposed to be filipino-coded or something? idk i'm still a little confused about his powers tbh, but i am all for a asian character who's power is being happy while not being treated like luk duk dong aka a racist joke. The fact that he's blind makes him more interesting to me, because afaik, being a lantern character is v visual based, and i would like some rep in the future about how the 31st treats ppl who possess different senses.

7. reboot!nightwind: you should have been a hijabi girlie... like i do like how you looked like a EA girl, but you should have kept your hijab /hj (she doesn't actually don a hijab in canon, but she may as well i mean have you seen her previous designs?)

8. dragonwing: aside from the whole, wow western designs of chinese dragon themed characters suck, why is she so pale? she looks like 31st century ronald McDonald the clown cause she's so pale w/her red hair.. i will not lie tho, her clothes are p cool. I'm just a little confused about her powers tho? she's got like??? super spit??? what? good for her ig? idk man... why not just call her spitfire at this point?

9. chemical kid: i could not care less about this character. you cannot make me care about him.

conclusion: if you're a quantity vs quality person, you could probs call me spoiled bc of the number of chinese members of the losh, compared to every other EA nation. But quality of the chinese characters is... not good. anyways, if you're non-asian and you have questions about whatever, feel free to ask. if you are asian, and you have different opinions then me, that's expected, we aren't a monolith contrary to what the west believes; feel free to vocalize your opinions here too.

[scourgefrontiers]

yeah that post made me think. commissions as my only source of income is rough. its fun, yeah! but the inconsistent and frankly Low income of it all gets..very stressful and tiring

i only know of two conventions around here and they dont happen for a while and theres no guarantee i can get into the artist alley, let alone afford more stock to sell at said cons. other than that i dont know of really Anything art related around locally like craft fairs or galleries. so im not sure if i can really break into that scene around here ??

if theres a way for me to make money with my art that doesnt involve killing myself with commissions or trying to break into an industry that doesnt want me then i am Open To Suggestions

[transxfiles]

hii bailor how are you. have you read or watched anything cool recently. i just started fellow travelers (the book) and it's making me feel so crazy i had to put it down and like go walk around to feel normal again

HIIIIIIII i have been doing so mcuh with work and art and everything so i haven't done much reading since june (i read like 7 books in a row i was doing so well) BUT i have been watching movies bc i found out that the local arthouse theater gives a really good student discount. also i have been hanging out at the video store and befriending the ppl who work the front desk there so i've watched a bunch of fun movies recently. SO!! some movie recs from things i've watched recently

humanist vampire seeking consensual suicidal person (2023)

dark comedy film about a young vampire who cannot hunt for food bc she cant morally justify killing people. after her parents stop hunting for her (finally forcing her to confront her fear of taking human life) she realizes that she might be able to work around her issues when she meets a suicidal teenager who wants her to kill him. genuinely such a sweet coming of age movie. and VERY silly. and beautifully filmed.

latter days (2003)

found the dvd at the local tax evading secondhand bookstore and bought it as a joke but genuinely this movie was very good. how do i even begin to describe latter days. blowjob scene in the first 5 minutes. the "sweet home alabama" screenwriter's passion project that he described as him trying to figure out what his repressed mormon past-self and his young newly out queer self would've done if they'd met. the answer is gay sex. apparently. this is an insane movie. i really enjoyed it but tbh i had the unique viewing experience of watching the movie with my old homoerotic best friend from high school so idk if my opinions on it are valid. they may indeed be tainted by that viewing experience. some insane fucking one liners though.

scream, queen! my nightmare on elm street (2019)

really great documentary for queer horror fans. follows the life of mark patton, the man who is most well-known for being the "first male scream queen" after he starred in nightmare on elm street 2: freddy's revenge. this was a video store rental and did not disappoint! experienced a positive jumpscare when i heard the first voiceover and was like "WAIT!!! cecil gershwin-palmer??????" it is indeed voiced by mr cecil welcometonightvale himself, cecil baldwin 👍

this ask also gives me an excuse to share some of my journal pages about movies i've seen recently so !

(+ bonus photo of my latter days dvd. insane fucking movie. btw fun fact the sticker on this dvd says 3 dollar but i did in fact get it for free bc the bookstore ladies love me. so)

i should add fellow travelers to my TBR probably,,, i need to read again. im always saying that when i haven't read for a while but it's true. i've been reading so many theater related nonfiction books recently for work and school and independent study and stuff but i gotta read A Narrative again soon.

i also need to go insane over A Narrative again and i think that'd do the trick........

rn i'm reading "standby" which is this book about theatrical design theory and it's so SO good but a little dense. i will say the last book that i devoured was andrew rannells' book of essays "too much is not enoguh" i read that in like 3 days and that was me pacing myself. it also got the stamp of approval from my mom who i lent the book to pretty much as soon as i saw her after i finished it.

also read this weird script a while ago called "the last thing i'll ever write" by adam lauver but i really don't know how i feel about that one. it was fun to read in the moment bc reading it was like putting together a puzzle of trying to figure out how i would actually put the show on a stage but idk if i;d recommend it. it IS weird art though and i do love weird art.

ive also been watching falsettos pretty frequently. idk why. its been scratching a theatre itch in my brain.

[lungthief]

how did you get into acting? especially shakespeare? im going into a high school with no theater program and i haven't been in a play since i was 8. i'm a ballet dancer and i love it (and its still a performing art), but i've always regretted that i've never even been in a musical. and will never be in a shakespeare play. i'm trying finding a theater thing to do over the summer but there are awfully few options :/

aw i'm sorry to hear that :( i've been involved in theatre since middle school and was lucky enough to go to a high school with a really strong theatre program, but shakespeare was mostly of my own volition--i saw a production of much ado in 7th grade and kind of fell in love with it. the good news about musicals and shakespeare is that Everyone Is Doing Them All The Time (musicals because they draw in large audiences, shakespeare because it's easily recognizable and public domain, so no licensing fees).

i'm not sure what the community theatre scene is like where you live, but if you happen to know anyone (fine arts teachers, directors, choreographers you've previously worked with, etc) in the ballet scene/performing arts in general, i'd tell them what you're interested in doing and i'm 90% sure they would be able to get you contacts for a local audition or get you in touch with a community theatre director. no matter where you live, the arts industry is pretty well-connected--you'd be surprised at who knows who. directors are always looking for talented people who are interested in their craft, so you can never go wrong by just reaching out and asking!! i hope this helps!

[mayanell-wav]

::

::

::

::

months ago i scheduled this single re-release for the start of Leo szn… tryna hack some confidence in there… Ha! The day came and i was feeling so......nonverbal.....

anyways If uvealready listened or shared with folks from when I released it last spring truly truly thank you. I’m…really shy about putting stuff out there!!! & trying to get over the crippling and psychotic emotions that come with being 👁️ perceived ——

{{ speaking of WHICH, sending a special s/o, ily, & good DAY to my fellow ♌️🌘 leo moon babies this szn & retrogrades 🫀🫂,, because… ifyk? Yfk 😭}} july/august 2023 have not been a joke in the slightest

~~~

below::: here is a a longer shit-post that nbdyyy asked for on my feelings when paying!!! to distribute a piece of my actual life blood (this song) to vampiric entities!!! for the sake of ‘’’’exposure’’’ (???)

... ????

the tldr; is fuck these fucking busted raggedy raggedy ugly ass raggedy ass streaming sites their execs can literally all choke

——————

aforementioned - ((longershit-postthatnbdyyy asked for)) ::

a few months ago I set up this single to distribute to streaming sites 072223 and whoops that shit really came around the corner QUICK

Kind of on principle (as well as because I am generally floundering) I do not work to push or ‘promote’ my music because, actually, whattt the fuck… wtfff is all that about !

I hate how social media sites r enabling consumptive media habits, i fkn hate streamers and their pestilent business practices, I hate these busted ass relics of an industrialized music scene and what it takes to get music out there. u want it to reach the people who could benefit emotionally, spiritually, artistically, from whatever shit u went through, u made this music to help ur self or because it was fun and truly believe in the connective and healing power of sound wavs, communion, sharing, listening

But these…. These fucking MIDDLe men ? These shrimp dick fucking middle men?

Whattttt is that all aboutttttttt

It’s gross and busted that artists have to pay to distribute their music with chump change in return, lining the pockets of weirdo record and tech companies

I really would rather give these silly little audio files away for free so that’s exactly what im gonna do

Anything I put out that is available on streamers is gonna be available free to listen to on soundcloud or free to download on non-expiring we transfer links bc literally EWWWW at these Fucking Middle Men!!!! Choke!!

Am also reflecting on like, what the fucking purpose of these streaming sites should be. Considering the ecological costs of that whole set up, nothing should live there permanently, we should not be listening to music online with such reckless abandon. The sites are helpful for research, and accessing a wide array of new and broad material in an accessible format. But for active / repeat listening? Truly truly what the fuck.

Still thinking what more conscious interaction with streaming distribution could look like. Considering rotating what projects or songs are actually accessible at any given time. Considering going on a real campaign to get folks to commit to scamming them through only utilizing family plans. Thinking about un-saving // off-loading the data I have stored on there so they can’t keep doing research on my habits. Thinking about coordinating boycotts from these subscriptions and going full slut *nd*rgrnd m*rk*t for analog/private server art & ed- media

It’s hard to think through and especially so on an individual level. The Music industry has been dying and honestly it probably needs/deserves to die. We need our art back, and the spiritual value of creating our own worlds, the local economic value of making emotions and rooms and communities and worlds move, through and onward from the exploitative industrialization of our practices.

My understanding of the whole entertainment industrial complex is that it rests on the back of exploited black women/gnc folks. Constantly thinking about the lives of popular singers in the south, essentially held captive and milked on tour circuits. It’s hard to ignore when looking at the way this shit is now set up, dependent on the exploitation of artists.

Musicians hawking their wares in hopes of clout and deals and the opportunity for more shows and more fans, and it makes me wonder what the point is, what the music is lulling us towards in and under these conditions

Its late and im overthinking again

and often eye wonder if we’ll ever be able to parce out the subtle differences between performance and performativity

[silverfirewolfsurtleaus]

Fangs and Future Master post

The fic

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47699158/chapters/120234133

Fic art

World information

Snapping turtles relevance: https://www.tumblr.com/silverfirewolfsurtleaus/719229870660616193/soo-vampire-leo-au-stuff-namely-something-i?source=share

The boys are reincarnations (except Leo of course) and no one knows it yet/some cultural information/sexualities for the au:  https://www.tumblr.com/silverfirewolfsurtleaus/718610284472926208/vampire-leo-stuff-talk-time-so-im-pretty-sure-i?source=share

How Mutants humans and yokai genetics work (plus some donnie info): https://www.tumblr.com/silverfirewolfsurtleaus/719082270555815936/some-stuff-about-the-vampire-leo-au-that-i-wasnt?source=share

Vampire ages: https://www.tumblr.com/silverfirewolfsurtleaus/718966818314780672/something-for-my-vampite-leo-au-specifically?source=share

Leo’s permeant injuries: https://www.tumblr.com/silverfirewolfsurtleaus/718904079728967680/me-bealatedly-realizing-something-about-my-vampire?source=share

Leo’s outfit and what it hides: https://www.tumblr.com/silverfirewolfsurtleaus/718519678739382272/

Time line stuff: some-more-stuff-on-the-vampire-leo-au-more?source=share

relations between vampires and werecreatures: https://www.tumblr.com/silverfirewolfsurtleaus/718157807160098816/sooo-some-informaton-for-my-vampire-leo-about?source=share

More to do about vampires:

Leo's ninpo

Art

How I draw the boys side views for rise turtle heads (applies to all versions of them except future/human): https://www.tumblr.com/silverfirewolfsurtleaus/717712338694914048/i-figured-id-share-this-but-this-is-how-i-draw-the?source=share

How I draw the past rise turtles tails (applies to all turtle aus): https://www.tumblr.com/silverfirewolfsurtleaus/719857810475827200/i-just-remebered-i-have-this-xd-but-heres-all-my?source=share

Leo: https://www.tumblr.com/silverfirewolfsurtleaus/717716045558923264/i-managed-a-traditonal-drawing-of-vampire-leo-when?source=share

Update/ digital

Donnie: https://www.tumblr.com/silverfirewolfsurtleaus/717717802931372032/annd-now-the-human-donnie-leo-keeps-running?source=share

Update/digital

Mikey(true form):

Raph: https://www.tumblr.com/silverfirewolfsurtleaus/718088243944603648/more-charatet-art-for-the-vampire-leo-auits-of?source=share

Koya (my rise version): https://www.tumblr.com/silverfirewolfsurtleaus/717797408887783424/this-is-not-a-final-design-this-is-what-koya-looks?source=share

Maeve (important oc): https://www.tumblr.com/silverfirewolfsurtleaus/719892275281444864/speaking-about-fangd-and-futures-heres-a?source=share

Four years ago:

Leo healing Donnie

Drabbles (mostly things that I couldn't fit in the fic

How Leo Meet Maeve: N/A

How Leo Officially meet Koya: N/A

Other Information:

Future bracelets: 

[saint-nevermore]

i honestly can't fathom living with the mindsets that some more radical vegans have. to be so disconnected from food that animal products are evil and you should feel bad for using them, to shun mutualistic relationships humans have had since humans started being humans. to try and distance ourselves from nature. it seems so stressful! obviously it's one thing to spout propaganda and continously police how other people live, but it absolutely cannot be healthy to constantly talk about it, think about it, make it your identity. food is food, and material is material. be kinder to yourselves. assume kinder of other people.

it's a noble cause to feel the need to reduce your own impact in the damage to the world, absolutely. there is 0 denying that food industries as a whole are rotten to the core and need severe reform, granted these are a consequence of capitalism, not the products themselves. i understand it usually comes from a place of great anxiety and upset. we're built to feel compassion for not only eachother but things around us. but i still can't imagine the hurt that comes from so deeply believing the mere act of using wool, honey, fur, meat is an affront to nature and inherently fowl, these things that humans would have died out thousands of years ago if our ancestors didn't risk their lives to tame aurochs or rams. things die for other things to live.

you can do whatever you want with your own body forever. however it isnt more inherently cruel to eat beef than it is to eat quorn. both products run a good chance of being harvested, packaged, and imported from far away by people being paid slave wages.

shop local, look into vegetables and fruits grown in your country/state by season and buy by season, grow your own veg and herbs, consider owning your own rabbits or chickens if you have ample space, time, and the physical means. look into local meat, wear wool, wear fur, look into the local hunting scene and consider working with more game. learn how to dress a duck, make art and tools from the bones and feathers you didnt cook. obviously sourcing is still an issue for some things - hence the emphasis on buying local. avoid imported fur, look into coyote that was trapped in your state as an example, or hides from rabbits that were raised for meat, or buy eggs from the small farm down the road.

most importantly make peace with what you eat, what you can get. i live in a country where pheasant is a popular game meat but the industry around pheasant hunting here is a fucking travesty. but it is one of my favourite foods, and as a poor consumer i can't change it, so i try and support good businesses or harvest my own when possible. i can't afford to and dont care for most meats otherwise, and mostly eat fish, even knowing fishing industry is wholly unsustainable. i still need to eat, and to enjoy what i eat. it isnt your fault Cornish X chicken is the most widespread and affordable, and you shouldnt feel bad for settling for it. be aware, be vocal, but dont be guilty.

never feel bad for what you eat, or use. your ancestors worked hard for that. love yourself, love whats around you, and learn how to use every single part of a deer, or learn the joys of growing your own tomatoes. i cannot stress how much more i appreciate what i cook after butchering birds myself, from cull to roast, and im sure most of us are familiar with the simple joys of eating wild berries. im sorry capitalism and colonialism ruined something so innately human for so many people.

[thebradleybradshaw]

what do you think the ideal date with Natasha would be?

uhhhh god natasha is so hot 😩

okay so im thinking something artsy. maybe a trip to the local art museum where you take a lot of pictures with and of each other. some are super sweet, nat kissing your cheek, or goofy trying to mimic one of the paintings.

and then she’ll take you to lunch to this adorable bistro that serves the best coffee and tea. you’re giggling all through lunch and then it’s time for color me mine. idk what y’all have near you but it’s called color me mine and it’s a place where you have blank clay pottery pieces that you get to design and paint yourself and it’s so fun. you would paint a coffee mug for nat to keep on her desk and she would paint you a vase to keep flowers in, since she gets you flowers every week !! and then you would finish off the day watching an adorable disney movie and cuddling on the couch with your shared pet and sneaking small kisses between scenes and i-

*sobbing in the distance*