#im trying to get better!! but its ummmm
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ttsquid · 3 months ago
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UMMM u will never guess which hand is dominate lol =.=
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phagodyke · 1 month ago
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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moonshynecybin · 4 months ago
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who do you think would deal better with being isekai'd into omegaverse, marc or vale? alternatively which is more compelling
most beautiful ask. in the world. so funny. ummmm i think. vale is maybe more compelling because his issues with it would be. perhaps unsolvable and endlessly complex. guy who is a lil weird about gender, not terribly into the concept of marriage, and is pretty fundamentally adverse to being. shall we say emotionally legible/vulnerable. exposed. and omegaverse as a genre is all about exposure. its all. giving into the base instincts of your body and those same instincts giving you away to the object of your affections. its going into heat and the person youre in love with is the only one available to help you through it. its scenting someone and that being a crystal ball of their emotions and bodily state ESPECIALLY ie how much they want you specifically. its needing someone so bad you are literally insensate. its getting bonded 5ever and ever irrevocably, OFTEN in the heat of an instinctual moment without the relationship negotiation that happens irl. a genre centered around a betrayal of the body/heart to the mind, in many ways
now imagine you didnt actually grow UP in an omegaverse so you have no toolbox to DEAL with all that. sensory input off the SHITS. and. like suddenly and without WARNING now vale can feel in his CHEST exactly how distressed marc marquez is about every one of their interactions. and how much he wants his ass. like truly every part of his hind brain is like jesus christtttttt i should be inside him right tf now im a terrible alpha. and then the higher part of his brain is like what the fuck. what the fuck. i am not responsible for marc, what the fuck. and oh hey theres a bump on my penis i need to ask people about this right the hell now. thats vale. so i see this as a somewhat fraught comedy of sex errors where his ADHD ass is treading horny water trying to learn alpha manners and also. much more complexly. not fall into all of the traditional alpha expectations/roles. that little trap of gender. because at heart vale is a little trickster who loves to buck expectations!!! and maybe his journey here is realizing that he can just be himself comma sex freak. and that leaning into those "alpha" traits doesnt mean he is conforming lmao he can still have his own unique version of his family. learning the norms of a society and what makes sense to him and what still doesnt. sorting through the weeds of it. and that being vulnerable rules sometimes. and that marc loves him. because that last one is kind of hard to ignore now... again because of that emotional and physical vulnerability that comes with the genre... honestly him knowing all of that about marc without having to actually TALK about it may solve some of their problems tbh. like why work through all that verbally when you can sniff them and then fuck them. kind of the omegaverse fantasy in quite a few ways
marc. jeez louise. i think would HATE it more. at first. control freak 9000. maybe has to miss races for heats. suppressants arent legal. experiencing weird omega sexism if we want to go that route OR. my favorite. has been lying to the press about his status since he presented. tiniest 15 yr old youve ever seen: im an alpha ! :3 uh sure bud. sure. i bet. SO actually maybe he falls into a world where hes just been white-knuckling it for the last billion years during race weekends and most of the paddock kind of KNOW (scent blockers only go so far...) but are lowkey afraid to call him on it dlkjdfljldsfd... similar to vale in this scenario, he sort of has to learn how to omega— and when his heat hits during summer break and his ass start leaking in the middle of the spanish equivalent of walmart, he finds a psycho little ziploc bag of sweaty vale shirts under his bed and he genuinely is like girl what the hellllllllllll.... wiggin out. and his next heat he turns up to race with truly NO practice managing it all, so its way more obvious than normal and the farce is growing thinner and vale literally pulls him aside to be like hey are you GOOD ? but in that valentino not that i care about your ass kind of unspeakably divorced way and marc is like woag. bc a pheromone truck just ran him over. eyes glassy face flushed sweaty as hell mouth a little open.... and he opens his mouth to make an excuse and nothing comes... and then obviously they fuck like its the end of the WORLD
and like i DO think marc pulls out of it more cleanly than vale overall, bc something in HIS lizard brain would be deeply soothed by like. excelling at being an omega. getting an A + in being a bottom. doing that for vale, specifically in the context of pushing his body to the absolute LIMIT to do it.... hes locked in. its go time. and then theres the insane possibility of vale putting his mouth on his neck and them getting basically soulbonded forever where they have to have crazy sex every few months ? hes like ummmm okay. i could get used to this for a while lmao
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wasyago · 1 year ago
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how did u get so good at composition:3 did u like to draw background all the time or it came to be after practice how long does one piece usually take:333
hehe well, thank you first of all. second of all... um both? practice yes, no one gets it on the first time. and just. i dont know? doing it over and over again and trying new things and experimenting, seeing what works, what doesn't, where the background is needed and not.
i remember i heard a lot of artists around me saying that they didn't like or couldn't draw backgrounds, and for some reason i decided that im not gonna be like other girls and learn to do it. and i uhhh.... just started? drawing backgrounds? i was trying, and watching tutorials on youtube, and seeing how other people did it and eventually it got easier? i can say that i definitely enjoyed figuring out how to do it, struggling to get the perspective and composition right. like, it was hard but i had a lot of fun doing it, so it felt natural and just like, normal art progression? it didn't feel like i was going out of my way to draw backgrounds, i just did it when i felt like it?
at some point i joined a character ask, you know, when people ask questions and you draw the character answering. and i decided that im gonna draw a background for each answer instead of it being a character on a blank background. and doing this, like, specifically trying to draw backgrounds and tell a story with them, and doing it regularly and coherently, it helped me progress a lot. like, i started with a character sitting on a couch in a room, and then it got better and better, multiple rooms, multiple angles of the same room, different locations and images. it helped me a ton. just, figuring out when you need a background, when its rather i did something simple for one frame and focused on the other instead, where the character needs to be positioned, etc.
i can say i didn't do a lot of proper studies, and if i did maybe it would've been helpful... i only drew things that were in my head, with characters that i liked, with imaginary locations and stuff. never really drew from photos... we did go on plein-airs, or whatever they're called, when i was in art school, so drawing backgrounds from real life probably also helped a little, but i can't remember anything about it so it didn't do as much.
i looked at a lot of art from cool artists and expanded my visual library, i analyzed their art trying to figure out why i like it and how to make my art have the same kind of feeling. and i still do! sometimes something just takes over me and i scroll pinterest for 3 hours looking at pretty art and going to artists' profiles and saving art and using it as inspiration later. and it helps! a lot!
i dont know where this post is going ummm. i guess if you want to learn to draw something, just like, start. scrap it if you don't like it and try again, have fun, don't get attached. and uhh, i felt a little nostalgic so here are some of my pieces that i did throughout the years. definitely feels like i got better at it recently, but there's still a lot of room for improvement
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oh and for your second question. one piece takes about ummmm... more than a thousand episodes, thats 20 minutes times 1000 devided by 60 devided by 24... we're looking at about 14+ days of non stop watching?
no but for real. i dont really keep track of time when im drawing, uhh. plus depending on the complexity... my recent jrwi drawings are sketches, so they took maybe one or two hours max. something rendered uhhh, maybe 5 hours? if i don't finish it in one day the chances of this drawing ever getting done are super low, soo yeah
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chronicallyblyrie · 7 months ago
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TMAGP 16 live thoughts!!
This episode started with a hello Jon dedication I'm already feeling like this won't be a fun time
-oh my god poor Alice the trauma is already starting
-celia does believe you alice trust she's seen some shit
-no the Horrors need to pay their dues with you alice
-alice dyer everybody, working right after watching a woman die
-yeah Sam stop talking
-CHESTERRRRR
-social media??
-#GOTHGIRL MY GOD
-WOAH INKSOUL BACK??
-okay inksoul is important
-oh my god it's a live stream archive
-oh my fucking god they're using internet slang
-WHO TOLD THEM THEY HAD ACCESS TO USE NO CAP IN A SCRIPT?
-holy shit this is awful
-PLEASE INKSOUL KILL THIS WOMAN SO I DONT HAVE TO HEAR HER SAY ANOTHER WORD
-please fucking KILL me
-OH MY GOD THE SOUND EFFECTS ARE KILLING ME
-woah world's quickest tattoo
-what in the fuck tattoo did they give you??
- dude inksoul got so tired of her shit so quick I'm with them on this
-GIRL YOU ARE NOT IN A SITUATIONSHIP THEY HATES YOUR ASS
-HOLY SHIT PLEASE THE SOUND EFFECTS ARE GONNA KILL ME
-when is Madam's soundboard gonna drop I need it
-i never thought I would hear the word "sus" in a rusty quill podcast but okay
-so this is the point we've reached in humanity
-STOP SAYING SUS
-I AM IN CLASS LISTENING TO THIS TRYING NOT TO BURST OUT LAUGHING PLEEEEEASE
-oh my god inksoul is digging up bodies?? WAIT no this related to the other case where uh person with tattoos was looking for the body they dug up, is this the same cemetary?? So it was actually inksoul trying to find that body??
-NOT THE BRUH SOUND EFFECT
-"so I bail" I can imagine her scurrying away like a cartoon character
-yeah girl only real goths dig up corpses, get with the times girly
-oh naurrrr
-OKAY SO THEY ARE ROBBING GRAVES
-vicious pick me trash fr girl
-OH MY GOD ITS A YOUTUBER APOLOGY BAHAHA
-"Im such a good person" OH MY GOD KILL ME
-"ig we're ops??" Who in the fuck wrote this episode
-I need to stop typing this post is going to be so long because I can't bare listening to the internet slang
-oh so her heart IS breaking
-yeah you're actually not okay
-UMMMM "help" ????
-THIS HAPPENED RECENTLY IN MARCH??
-oh thank god the cats are okay
-oh my god she's actually letting hate comments kill her wtf
-OH OH OH EW EW EW THAT NOISE
-DID HER HEART RIP OUT??
-please alice go get coffee get me some too
-gwen wtf
-oh so Lena is pissed
-I DONT LIKE THIS
-lmao Lena is actually being sensible here
-STOP BRINGING ELDRITCH HORRORS INTO THE OFFICE??? LENA IS KINDA RIGHT HERE YOU SAW WHAT BONZO WAS WHY DID YOU THINK THIS EXTERNAL WAS ANY BETTER
-yeah you might just die holy shit gwen
-Gwen you are gonna get fired
-okay who wrote this episode credits tell me
-ALEXANDER J NEWALL YOU FUCKING BASTARD
Okay ignoring everything else I just had to torture myself with by listening to, genuinely interesting episode. We have confirmation now that inksoul is hunting down corpses for some reason. Inksoul is definitely important and will be showing up again soon I fear.
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sieglinde-freud · 1 year ago
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If you had to pick a second trio of awakening kids to put in fates (on Hishido's side) who would you send, why, and where would put them (ie who's retainers would they be and who would they replace or where would they be serving in Hoshido if not retainers).
SORRY THIS TOOK ME LIKE FIVE YEARS TO GET TO, STEDY… i saw it and i was like “ooh i gotta think about this i’ll come back” and then. and then i forgor… BUT ANYWAYSSS
so, to hoshido????? well… i think realistically theyd go down the popularity poll. they seem to want to avoid lucina (lord) and morgan (two of them, picking one means making one and also one robin canon) so next on the list iirc is noire, brady, and gerome. and i think that could work pretty okay, but i think they just kind of all have one fatal flaw here: none of them would be down to go.
the awakening trio works because yeah!! yeah i absolutely buy all three of them being game to go fuck off to a new world because some pathetic man begged them to help save lives. gerome though?? no!! gerome hardly wanted to go back in time to save HIS OWN WORLD!! brady cant fight CANONICALLY, and i highly doubt he’d want to step foot on another battlefield. and noire… i think someone could make a case for noire being willing to come. but i think she’d prefer staying with tharja and protecting the baby version of herself more. and without proper encouragement which would mostly likely come from severa who is. not here. i dont think she’d be too willing. AND I KNOW THAT MEANS IM MISSING OUT ON NOIRE!RHAJAT BUT… come on. you think im gonna give noire to hayato anyways?? no.
so!! a more interesting alternative? kjelle, cynthia, and laurent. i think kjelle and cynthia would be so down if they thought they were gonna be protecting innocents. kjelle wants to fight, grow stronger, and protect, and her natural element is the battlefield. cynthia wants to be a hero and fight for justice, and what better than a country protecting its homeland? as for laurent, i think he’d also like to save people, but i just think this guy would also like traveling around for education purposes. a new land means more insight to gain, and more things to share with his mother when he comes back. so. yeah. perhaps not the tightest reasoning, but i think its much more realistic than like. gerome. sooo
cynthia would most likely stay a pegasus knight? i dont see a reason to change her class. but armor knight is nohrian while sage doesnt exist in fates (technically. im aware onmyoji is the equivalent) sooo they’d have to change. i think theres a few things you could do with kjelle? spear fighter is probably the obvious choice, but i think kinda similar to owain, she’d like a chance to try out other weapons, probably to demonstrate her strength. and for this im strongly leaning master of arms prepromote. yes she’d still have spear access, but having mastered katanas and clubs during her time in hoshido could be really fun i think. as for laurent… lol. apothecary. hes not really here to fight but like. he can. promote him to merchant and he’ll start throwing the army’s treasury at you. dont fuck with him! but obviously kjelle would have armor knight access via heart seal and i think i’d give laurent troubador over dark mage just to reference miriel having that class in awakening but it could go either way. cynthia would probably have… uh. ummmm… fuck. wait. i dont know. sumia gets armor knight and cleric. can we j be funny and give her merc so she has hero access :/// ok thanks
if were following the same format as the og trio, i would j plant them as retainers to make it simple. and… i think i’d go:
kjelle - ryoma
laurent - hinoka
cynthia - sakura
im completely willing to change on this honestly. i thought long and hard about it and then i went “hm. no.” and ended up here. my logic is that of the awakening trio, laslow definitely seems to be the strongest and is nohr’s crown prince’s retainer, and of these three, kjelle is probably the strongest, so same treatment. i also considered the dynamic between saizo and kagero and i just think she’d work the best with them. no bullshit, just work. plus, in a samurai class (moa promotes from samurai) she’d fit in better with ninja than a flier and a uh. a guy.
i put laurent with hinoka and i almost didnt because i think he could have an interesting dynamic with the other royals too. but then i was like “okay. of the three: who would fit into hinokas retainer dynamic that just seems to be ‘giving hinoka a hard time’” and well!!! i think!!! i think its laurent!!! i think laurent would just be engrossed in his studies and the difference in technological progress compared to ylisse (no fireworks but they have giant puppets??? the dolls with the saws??? TANKS????) and hinokas like “uh. hey. did you eat any of ur last three meals?” and he goes “no but i DID make a gun” and azama and setsuna are just like “woahhh thats fucking awesome dude” and i just think if i gave hinoka kjelle or cynthia it wouldnt be as funny. i do things for the bit. always.
and that leaves cynthia for the other two and… i dont actually think she’d go to takumi. i think sakura and her retainers is a much more realistic possibility because takumis trio is just. so. fucking look at them… itd be odd to shove a fourth person in there. it COULD work, but also i kinda just like the idea of cynthia pledging herself to sakura. she’d be all hyped about it too like “the brave warrior defending her princess?!! yessss!!” and sakura would be like. so down for cynthias flower throwing entrance or whatever (with… sakura petals?? yes????) and idk i just think they would be neat. and she could be a nice mediator between subaki and hana who just like. wont shut the fuck up. she’ll either make it better by being a nice middle man or make it worse by also not shutting up except its about something completely different and no progress gets made. both fine outcomes, i think.
and then they fight nohr and go to war with their besties forevs!!!!!!! wooooo!!!! im not writing that out. you decide how that goes. though i think a cynthia vs selena encounter would be insaane… ooh or like an cynthia vs odin justice cabal thing? oouhhvghh… but this post is long enough anyways hi stedy 👋
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mamawasatesttube · 7 months ago
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song meme
tagged by @deadchannelradio ♥♥ ty bestie
shuffle your on repeat playlist and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people!
"strawberry sunscreen" by lostboycrow. i like songs that sound like summer what can i say :D
Hey little darling, run like the weekend I get lost and found in your arms Rooftop view, we met on a Wednesday Now which do you prefer? To be alone, to be in love or to just be worth it? I think you're worth it
2. "stubborn love" by the lumineers. its a classic man!!!
It's better to feel pain, than nothing at all The opposite of love's indifference
3. "across the stars"/love theme from attack of the clones. john williams. starred wars. you get it.
[instrumental/no lyrics]
4. "no place in heaven" by mika!!!!! ough!!! im not immune to songs abt religious trauma. :')
I'm down on my knees, I'm begging you, please There's no place in Heaven for someone like me Won't you open the door and try me once more? 'Cause there's no place in Heaven for someone like me
5. "beep beep" by little mix. this one is on here bc of tim car fic byeee
I blew my engine, I think I popped the stick Too busy dreaming, of jumping on your— To get me turning good, you need to check under the hood babe
6. "enterprising young men" by michael giacchino. star trek baybee!!!
[instrumental/no lyrics]
7. "you are loved" by defiance, ohio. this is a superboy (2011) song. source: dude trust me
And to this magic, we hold on I just don't want to feel its loss until it's gone It was in an eerie glow, I finally left you lonely, left the TV on If I have one regret, it's letting this whole nihilistic shit charade live on You know it scares the hell out of me when my friends think they have nobody to lean on And the radio plays a familiar song
8. "blackheart" by two steps from hell. this is on my spacefic writing playlist. i love two steps from hell
[instrumental/no lyrics]
9. "gold trans am" by kesha. this is ALSO on here because of tim car fic hgjkdshgkjhdjk
C'mon, climb into my golden cockpit! Love you 'til you're seein' stars and stripes! Burnin' rubber on the southern highway! Gonna take you for a freedom ride!
10. "why can't i" by liz phair. kon is the reason i started listening to liz phair but i shouldve been here sooner tbh!!!
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you? Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?
oh god now i have to think of ten people ummmm!!!
@misspickman @milfkon @loisinherlane @mysterycitrus @clarkkent-irons @lemontongues @ectonurites @jayzelnut @radioactive-earthshine and @lemonlimestar but also if anyone wants to do this feel free to say i tagged you!! :D
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prettyb0ycvnt · 2 months ago
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AUAHHHHH teeny little losing my mind below the cut ^_^ ignore or don't idc lawl ummmm tw for talk about EDs yayyy yay yay. I'm Going to kill something and that something might be me (kidding maybe) ill probably delete this later
OH MY GOD IM.GOING INSANE i hate it here i hate it here i h. me when the mental illness is actually ruining my life and its not something silly and a little joke teehee :3 i was trying sooooo so hard to get better and i can just feel that slipping away from me and Ugh!!!! or maybe i was never Getting Better maybe thats just something i told myself so i didn't feel terrible about the fact that i started eating normally again . because my mindset never changed lol ive felt disgusted with myself for the past Year . but i didn't do anything about it Sooo therefore i can't feel sorry for myself now because its all my fault >_< !!! im just so sick of everything god ive had this stupid freaaaking ed since 2022 its been almost three years and i!!! can't even remember my Normal before then!!! sorry if anyone's reading this i don't wanna talk about it in too much detail but i can't go a single day without feeling absolutely repulsive and yeah. maybe i don't wanna go back to how sick i was at the height of it but at the same time i want that validation. i want the thinning hair and the gaunt cheeks and the collarbones and the dizziness and the always being cold. i want that validation that this sickness is actually real. I'm going to throw uppppp probably . I Love my BRAIN and it doesn't make it better that my irl just dmed me saying "hey im worried about your reposts are you okay" WHAT DO I SAY lawl . Yeahhh I'm totally fine and i definitely haven't relapsed and you have nothing to worry about !! Ignore all the stuff I reposted about EDs!!! They mean nothing!!! UGHHHHHHHH but i can't tell her the truth because then ill have to talk about it 😋😋😋 i hate my life i hate my life omg one of these days im going to actually freaking jump off a cliff im being sooo for real. AND ITS NOT EVEN JUST THR ED chat i think i might actually be depressed but uhhh 😬🙏 yikes!!! this puppyboy can fit soooo much mental illness inside himmm :33 isn't he soooo amazing!?? not to mention irs been a freaking year since my aunt died the one year anniversary was Yesterday and I've been losing my balls over that for weeks and . ok soz for the trauma dump LOLLLL im just truly losing my shit <3<3 yayyyy yay yay yay. New challenge !! can aiden make it to 19?? tune in to find out >_< !!!!
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earlysunshines · 1 month ago
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i really liked your newest fic. even though the characters are like ”losers” and kinda silly, i like that you didnt make them obnoxious or over the top. The characters still feel like theyre real people and i feel like some writers make the characters so dramatic and over the top its hard to read. overall i really like all of your fics and the way you write😸
also, not trying to be mean but i feel like in almost every fic, yn is wearing a cropped white baby tee that shows off her abdomen.. maybe im being dramatic and its only been a few times and im sorry if thats the case. and i get it you probably like that kind of style and theres nothing wrong with that, just something i noticed🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️
anyways youre a great writer sorry for my grammar i know how to write english im just lazy😋
THANK U!! i try to make the characters and whatnot like.. human, i try to write them like idk my friends and ppl ik bc like lowk idk it’s jsut refreshing bc im writing smth im familiar with and im glad u liked that!!!
oh yeah i always use “cropped baby tee showing some skin” like i will allllways use it it’s one of my fav like items of clothing on others LOL i love when my friends wear it they always suit it and also girls i find attractive wear it and im like omg girl u go girl lalala o love itLOL
i think there’s a lot of repetitive things that show up such as cropped baby tee and ummmm height differences and lots of silly bickering bc i implement things that i like into my writing to make it more?? me and i think that makes my writing better lol
no you’re good!! thank u for the kind words :-P
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clawdiia · 1 month ago
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My mom was pissed at ME last night Bcz they upped my meds??? Ummmm theyre literally working. You just had a bad day today. I know theyre working i literally have seen it. you dont need more drugs. you just want allllll this attention. Okay okay um firstly how the FUCK would you know bitch Like im pretty sure cutting yourself wanting to die and wanting to kill others isnt really better honestly it might even be worse than i was when they upped me to 50 And if I were to have said one (1️⃣) thing differently to that chick i would be locked up right now you're kidding yourself and you're kidding me TLDR if I end up dead on the bathroom floor its not Bcz im sooo selfish and hate myself sooooo much But rather maybe because no mater how hard I try to get better theres always my lovely mamma and pappa to be against that notion
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ruinedgautier · 3 months ago
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sorryyy if this is odd but i loveeee the dynamic between lita and sylvain.... i know obviously probably litavain is the most fleshed out, but are there any friendships or other dynamics that lita has? :)
Not weird at all! I'm just so excited about people liking my oc waow 🩷💗💖💞💖💕💞💕💗
Litavain is for sure the most fleshed out! But I also did make Ingrid and Lita friends before the whole fake dating thing happens.
ITS A LOT SO IM GONNA PUT THE FULL ANSWER + MORE CHARACTERS UTC LMAO:
Ingrid really cares for Lita, and she dislikes how much Sylvain is messing with her. The Faerghus Four, including Dedue, are aware that both parties are consenting to the plan— it's just that Sylvain is lying about the reason for it. Ingrid, for the most part, lets it slide because Lita and Sylvain seem to be equal parts invested in the relationship. It isn't until Ingrid begins checking what they think of one another that she realizes how one-sided it actually feels. Here's an excerpt about that:
Ingrid's also noticed how Lita looks when she's describing Sylvain. She likes him, maybe a little more than she lets on. She just can't really convey whatever feelings she has, so whenever Ingrid asks about Sylvain, Lita gives short, generic answers.
“He’s nice to me,” she would say. “And he’s not that bad looking either!”
It's always variants of the two. However, more things slipped past her short responses the longer these past few weeks have gone on.
“He’s nice to me!” turned into, “I lost my mother’s ring in the library the other day, and he spent the next day trying to track it down for me. Turns out, some guy found it and gifted it to his girlfriend. He had to fight the boyfriend for it, but he said a black eye would be worth it if it kept me happy. He’s so… He’s really sweet, Ingrid.”
Then, “He’s not that bad looking either!” turned into, “I think Sylvain’s gotten more tan these past couple weeks. And you can see more of his freckles, too! I tell him that I think they're cute, but he never believes me.”
Ingrid frowns. She doesn’t seem to remember such comments coming from Sylvain. Whenever she asked him about Lita, he’d brush her off and say things like:
“Oh, you know! She’s great.” Or, “We have a study date today in her room. Do you think I’ll score big?”
It frustrates Ingrid to no end. Is he really all that selfish? He’s hurting Lita while he’s just trying to mess around. Sure, Ingrid hasn’t caught Sylvain running off with other girls in the meantime, but that doesn’t ease her mind at all. Maybe he’s just gotten better at hiding from her watchful eye.
——
Ingrid, the poor girl, feels stuck between a rock and a hard place. She doesn't want to hurt her friend by making Sylvain tell her how much he's lying to her, but at the same time, she's tired of needing to clean up Sylvain's messes and thinks that Lita would set him straight after he confesses.
Or something like that, I haven't exactly finished hammering out the details yet 🤧 just know that Ingrid and Lita are friends LMAO
As for other dynamics, she has a small (unnamed) friend group. They're not really mentioned often, but they like teasing Lita about dating Sylvain. They don't know that Lita and Sylvain are pretending to date.
Lita also enjoys hanging out with the Golden Deer a lot. She tags along with Lysithea to learn makeup tips from Hilda– they get ready for the ball together ♡ She goes painting and sketching with Ignatz and values his crit when creating art.
Adding on more to Hilda and Lita's friendship, Hilda passively mentions that Lita should join their class since she seems to get along with everyone there already. Lita always declines, saying that she likes the BL class, but she'll always hang out with her friends in GD. They kiss a little bit in my brain teehee ✨️
Ummmm I FEEL like that's all of them? I want to build more on her relationships in BL, but I have yet to sit down and figure them all out 🤧🤧
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cartoonrival · 1 year ago
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kakashi and ummmm spins wheel akane from r1/2
kakashi
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i dont really talk about kakashi and theres not really a reason for that beyond i dont super have anything intelligent to say about him but i do really love him ToT i dont think he works BETTER as part of a dynamic bc that implies i dont care for him much on his own but i think his character shines BEST as part of a dynamic... in pt 1 he was one of the characters who most most emphasized how young the team 7 kids were and it makes me SICK it makes me sick seeing how much he loves them, the way he talks to them and about them like theyre really children and he cares about them so much and has loved watching them grow up and helping them train, i looove how the chidori becomes one of sasuke's signatures after kakashi taught it to him and how excited naruto gets about getting to train with kakashi again and how kakashi was disappointed at the start of shippuden that naruto and sakura werent as easily amazed by him anymore and he had them try and steal the bells from him again as a little welcome back exercise .... and when he watched the three of them defeat kaguya together he was thinking how much he loved them .... BWAAAAAAAA
and and. i think his relationship with guy honestly balances his relationship with the kids rly well because we get to see him as a protective figure with them but with guy he's talking to someone whos his age and on his level and who he's known for like 2 decades, obviously not to say he never lets loose or relaxes or is irresponsible with the kids but the way he is with guy and the childish competitiveness of their rivalry (which he acts like he's annoyed by but this is obviously not true) is just idk. i like seeing that other facet of him. i think the race through konoha that ended w guy giving him a bouquet was an anime original scene but idc it was so cute and i think it was lee and neji who said smth about them finally being able to have fun and let off steam or w/e. augh. yeah.
ALSO esp in the anime i love how noticeably his tone of voice shifts when he's talking to someone ranked above him when he's usually so nonchalant and casual its something something about how he used to be part of the black ops. idk idk i rly love him and i love how he has pretty distinct facets of himself that come out depending on who he's interacting with it makes him feel very real. he's laid back but on edge and kind and blunt. ill be honest though i dont care about the stuff w obito and rin im sick of that dead girl and that man whos still obsessed with her!!!! but its ok because i love you kakashi.
akane
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SHES EVERYTHING .TO ME. as with all of r/2 i think her struggles with bisexuality (ambiguous) couldve been carried further and her martial arts abilities kind of fell off towards the end which SUCKSSSS AND MAKES ME SO MAAAAD but anyways. she gets a lot of hate for being a jerk BUT LIKE. YEAH? she's scared and angry all the time and doesn't know who she is and is afraid of who she is and everyone's telling her she's living wrong so she's forcing herself into a box where she doesn't fit because she's afraid of nonconformity and she takes that fear out on the person closest to her and the one person who might actually understand what she feels. because it is so scary to admit that you are not what you are supposed to be and intimacy and honesty are so much scarier than bullying someone who'll do it right back. she's been engaged at 16 years old and burdened with the expectation that she'll marry ranma and carry on the legacy of her father's beloved dojo, and now she's been thrown in to this situation where she is forced to confront her wayward sexuality head on and directly in front of her entire family.
will say though possibly unpopular opinion. i dont like transmasc akane reads .. i think shes cis. she has a tomboy thing going on (meaning characters (mostly ranma) make fun of her for being boyish and violent and she has an arc about cutting her hair and no longer growing it out as assurance of her own femininity even though she really prefers it short) but i dont think taking "this female character has some issues with not being seen as feminine enough because of her behavior/struggles with not tying her worth to how feminine she is" should be immediately taken as "this character is not a girl" because i think the potential for her gender nonconformity (esp in relation to her bisexuality) is just as valuable a theme, especially considering r/2 already has very potent transfem (ranma) and transmasc (ukyo) stories. idk "this character has some not traditionally feminine tendencies -> cannot be a girl" doesnt sit right with me. in any series other than r/2 it wouldn't bother me because people can take little tidbits of possible transgenderism as they'd like, but since the trans themes are already so potent in r/2 i tend to lean towards more realistic interpretations of the characters and i dont feel like "akane doesnt fit into traditional femininity and is therefore not [fully] a girl" is reaaally a win. expectations and gender roles are a huge theme in r/2 and i think its valuable seeing how they impact a cis girl as it is how they impact trans people in terms of determining what even MAKES someone a girl or a boy. is it what you wear? what you do? how you talk? these are genuine questions that r/2 asks and i feeeeel that transmasc reads of akane kind of respond to these questions in a really surface level way. this is the reason for the slash over the everyone else is wrong box. because not everybody thinks this and i know some reliable akaneheads (hi jordan)
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dirtnote · 1 year ago
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9 people you want to get to know better tag game-- tagged by @punkpal !!! thanks <3
Three ships: well you see i do not really do that anymore but. me/inspiration me/motivation me/money ❤️ (i dont think that like, Enjoying canon relationships in stories i watch counts)
First ship: i dont even know... when i was a kid i always looked up AMVs for crack ships cus i thought it was funny though
Last Song: Heaven In Your Head by Nuclear Daisies
Last Movie: oh it was The Curse of La Llorona. mid horror i fell asleep towards the end of it
Currently Reading: well i was catching up on classics.. lord of the flies but i keep forgetting so its been a long while
Currently Watching: OFMD S2 as it airs, just started Castlevania today, and Fionna and Cake (ive never watched Adventure Time btw LOL i just know some key things via cultural osmosis. im gonna watch it but i thought I'd reverse order it)
Currently Consuming: nothing my teeth are clean i took a shower and im sitting here on the bed :) i should drink more water tho
Currently Craving: nothing✨ <- trying to keep it that way now
ummmm i'll tag @piratebay @bel1speak @nebulousspace @conqu3er @dogbytez @laguz @mobanjaree @wordlesspoemtree @m8nstruck weeee
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scariddler · 1 year ago
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Oh, did you just start college? Congrats!!! Ive heard its definitely a rough start but it'll feel better soon hopefully :"].
I'd love to see oc posting if you're comfortable!! & cringe is dead, i have doctor who sheets still B) lol.
Im glad i could spread some kindness :"D !
-oz (honestly idk why i was on anon i think i just got nervous!)
thanks :] i’m actually a sophomore so i started last year. coming back was really tough because i hate it here lots and had a horrific time last semester. i’m not sure if it’ll get better because everything feels The Same but ill just take it one day at a time. whatever.
some weird oc stuff below
honestly i dont draw my own ocs a ton because i’m not a very creative person and it’s difficult to come up with stories/art for things that i know i won’t receive validation for LOL. also honestly i really dislike doing art and prefer to write when it comes to my own characters.
here’s one of my longest running ocs. if you think she looks like a supernatural oc ummmm it’s because she was okay. but now she’s just a silly
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these 2 star wars ocs were created by my friend and i as a joke but im actually quite attached to them now and i don’t really even care about star wars
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every time i try to add more images tumblr tells me to die in a fire or something like it doesn’t work so i guess that’s all i can post. sorry this isn’t very fun or cool or whatever i’m not feeling very well tonight so i don’t have a whole lot to say and haven’t drawn anything good in a while.
hope ur having a good day oz >_>
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alarming-prism · 1 year ago
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i saw your response to the ask about a fic u wanted more positive engagement on and i just want u to know i read that when i didnt have an ao3 account and have been searching for that fic FOREVER like it drove me so crazy it was so good. like im the type who usually only reads happy endings but it literally plagued my thoughts for MONTHS it was so good.... their relationship was so deliciously awful i think its peak representation of fq during their era of nothing but raw hurt and festering resentment from misunderstandings and all the outside factors stressing them out.... so excited to watch fxmq irreparably hurt and damage each other.... also yes the writing was a bit confusing but like in a good way,,,, like if it had been less vague and more clear i feel like it wouldnt have been as enjoyable bc that writing style really fit the vibe of the story, it kind of pulled it all together ykwim? like i really loved how u wrote it i think it was perfect as is, i cant think of a single possible thing that could make it even better.... yeah, tbh just for all your fics, u have this way of setting a kind of atmosphere throughout that just really brings the whole story together, like i noticed it in the mq toy store employee fic and the broken threads fic too. im not articulate enough to identify or describe what it is exactly that u do, but u do it sososososoooooo well it drives me crazy. youre amazing <33 ok ummmm i love all your writing and i will easily wait another 10 years for a hint of a second chapter for this fic or any other works by u, so please take your time without worry, i hope u have an amazing day/night, byeeee :3 <3
i'll have you know that i had a super rough day yesterday + i'm currently sick rn and when i got this ask i started to tear up. you get me and you get exactly what i'm going for. i understand wanting happy endings but i'm also desperate to explore the part of fengqing that's in continuous conflict not through any fault of their own but because of their circumstances + who they are as people,, and i know that's not for everyone but it makes me so happy that you understand what i'm trying to do here lmao.
i think i'll legitimately have to rethink my entire life if it takes me ten years to finish the second chapter, but i just checked my fic tracking doc and i started it back in february so uhh. i can't make any promises but this did make me open up that doc again and nanowrimo is coming up so i'll have to work on something or other. and every time i actually start thinking about this fic again i start to go insane. i think last time i worked on it i made myself cry? i'm definitely just oversharing at this point but.
idk just. thank you so much for sending such a long, heartfelt ask. it made a shitty day infinitely better. i hope you have an amazing day/night right back <3
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ouroboobos · 1 year ago
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i need a new fucking job lmfao. ITEMIZED LIST OF GRIEVANCES AS OF RIGHT NOW
its customer service
i make less as a manager than the starting wage at mcdonalds
theres at least two grown men with sexual harrassment complaints against them because they cant stop hitting on teenage girls
the two guys got in zero trouble and continue to be treated like perfect hardware store angels
one of them gave me a rose on valentines day and kept trying to give me rides
theres a completely seperate third man in his 60s who continually makes comments about my body and touches me and tried to give me a massage in the break room one time
everyone loves him and hes been working here for like 8 years so even if it got bad enough to report him theres no way my boss would give a shit and no one would ever believe me and im worried abt retaliation
i havent told him to fuck off because im scaredcore so idk if he even knows hes making me uncomfortable
i get routinely sexually harrassed by customers and when i asked my boss abt how to handle it he basically said other girls have quit over it and "the real problem is when they dont call a manager up" so he definitely does not udnerstand what its actually like to deal with that and that its usually too subtle to do anything abt it
since i got promoted i almost never get my 10 minute breaks which maybe doesnt seem like a big deal but it is wearing me the fuck out
im surrounded by proud vocal conservatives
EXCEPT for my boss who is one of those people who doesnt think hes a bigot (hes very proud of being one of the chill open-minded Christians) but definitely is
also i couldnt make this up even if i wanted to, but hes 36 years old and a cpuple days ago he made me stand there and listen to him rant about hes not homophobic but why did they make Good Omens gay not everything has to be gay 😡😡😡 hes 36. hes fucking 36
we're almost always understaffed and they dont want to pay anyone so they dont start hiring more people until we're already in our busiest season and then we have to train a bunch of 15 year olds between dealing with 36 billion kajillion fucking customers
truly abysmal fucking communication. i didnt even know i was getting promoted to management until i was in the middle of supervisor training (which they never bothered to finish so i got like... tiny disjointed snippets of training over a period of a few weeks and then i was a manager)
i was functionally head cashier for months and they never gave me the title or the raise because i was "being trained for the position" when actually they allotted less than a day of training from the FORMER head cashier on her last day even though they knew she was retiring for months and then i just figured it out by myself and was already doing all of it
im finally going back to school and next semester when im better settled i want to transition to full time classes, so i met with my boss to give him a heads up and told him i wanted to start training a couple people on some of my basic responsibilities in case i have to cut down my hours, and he basically brushed me off and said we can talk about it in a few months.
and then he talked about his time in college for like twenty minutes and said i shouldnt overwhelm myself by working full time and going to school full time, which made it seem like he was on the same page
but then he kind of was like "well its good you want to get an education but if you go part time in the spring that kind of screws us over" so im not really sure what the fuck is happening in his brain but it almost sounds like he expects me to stay part time in school and keep working full time and doesnt want to prepare for anything else
also he didnt tell me i inherited the key department in addition to the front end until i was like hey whos ordering keys now? and he was like ummmm you? 🤨 ok thanks for the heads up man
its one of those places that looks pretty nice but theres like 20 things breaking throughout the store that theyre too cheap to fix
^recent example: the receipt printers arent working for duplicates (which we need for returns, special orders, etc) so now you to walk across the room to the actual printer and they dont want to fix it because "the printer paper is cheaper than the receipt paper". im not even that irritated about having to use the big printer but that is so fucking cheap for such a massive successful company that now im genuinely pissed off about it.
my boss is one of those guys who seems super nice and friendly and great at first, and pretty much everyone thinks he is, but the more time you spend with him the more you're like. hey buddy is something a little bit fucking wrong with you? and every day i resent him just a tiny bit more
they want us to follow homeless people around the store like fucking spies until we find an excuse to kick them out
theres a guy that comes in every now and again and harrasses female cashiers, walks around casually dropping hate speech, and once literally told one of our teenage boys about his rape fantasy and they wont do anything about him because he's rich and he spends a lot of money
we all have like 4 jobs with barely the pay of 1
i hates it
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