#im trying to do 75 hard but with yoga in the mornings

[ultimateearworm]

I just did 45 minutes of yoga. Before opening any social media app (besides youtube to get the poses) before even getting dressed to start my day. And I can say 10/10 recommend it. Already in an amazing mood and all I have done is stretches

[binkysteebnpewter]

All of them 😤

Ehehe 😂💗

1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it?

Grace is actually my middle name, and somewhat. I just don’t like it when my family calls me by first and middle together.

2. are you artistic?

Somewhat?

3. Have you had your first kiss?

Yes

4. What is your life goal?

It’s cheesy and a little cliche, but I want to find Home.

5. Do you have any experiences with a famous person?

Nope

6. Do you play any sports?

Not anymore but I used to play football and I was on the wrestling team in HS

7. What’s your worst fear?

I have two that are sort of equal with another but I’m afraid of losing the people I care about and people seeing me the way I see myself.

8. Who’s your biggest inspiration?

My late Nana, Gloria.

9. Do you have any cool talents?

Answered in previous ask

10. are you a morning person?

Not at all

11. How do you feel about pet names?

I love them

12. Do you like to read?

Absolutely

13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life.

NCIS, Criminal Minds, and any marvel movie

14. Do you care about your follower count?

Not really, I’ll celebrate milestones but that’s just to show everyone I appreciate them following my trash pile. I didn’t start writing to have a high following, I started writing to better my skill and also make people happy.

15. What’s the best dream you’ve had?

I don’t remember most of my happy dreams

16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender?

Yep!

17. Do you have any pets?

I have three dogs 🥺💗

18. Are you religious?

No. They only thing I actually believe in is ghosts.

19. Are you a people person?

Not really

20. Are you considered popular?

Nope, and I don’t care to be

21. What is one of your bad habits?

Overthinking

22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable?

Opening up my emotions to other people

23. What would you name your children?

No clue

24. Who’s your celebrity crush?

There’s a bunch ig

25. What’s your best subject?

Science and history

26. Dogs or cats?

Dogs, I love cats but I’m super allergic

27. most used social media besides tumblr?

I don’t use a lot of social media tbh, so tumblr is probably my most used unless you count youtube

28. best friends name

Duke

29. who does your main family consist of

My friends and my brother. Family isn’t just blood

30. Chocolate or sugar

Both

31. have you ever been on a date?

Yep

32. Do you like rollercosters?

Absolutely love them

33. Can you swim?

Yes 💗

34. What would you do in the event of an apocolypse?

Clearly, I’d do what everyone else does. Panic and try to survive.

35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder?

Yes, I struggle with anxiety and depression

36. Are your parents together?

Nope.

37. What’s your favourite colour?

Dark green and Dark Blue

38. What country are you from/do you live in?

Unfortunately, the U.S

39. Favourite singer?

Uh... there’s too many to list? But my favorite people to listen to is The Oh Hellos

40. Do you see yourself being famous some day?

Nope, I run from being the center of attention.

41. Do you like dresses?

Not really

42. Favourite song right now?

Fly Me To The Moon by Frank Sinatra

43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Sort of.

44. How old were you when you first got your period?

No clue, I don’t remember

45. Have you ever shot a gun?

Yep

46. Have you ever done yoga?

No

47. Are you a horror girl?

YES 😈

48. Are you good at giving advice?

I suppose I am?

49. Tell us a story about your childhood.

I don’t have a lot of happy memories but one that sticks out is: I used to go to a private Christian academy and I was in first grade when this boy in eighth grade (the entire school was k-12) came over to me during my lunch. I was super scared and shy as a kid so my schedule was tailored so I was able to eat lunch with my brother whose nine years older than me. Our mom forgot to pack our lunches so we were gonna just get some stuff from the vending machine, well my brother gave me my money to get something and this boy came over to me before I could put it in the vending machine. He hit me and took my money, buying himself something with it. My brother seen it and got into a fight with him.

50. How are you doing today?

Eh

51. Were you a cute kid?

I looked like Shirley Temple when I was a kid

52. Can you dance?

I can swing dance and slow dance, but that’s it.

53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing?

I always look for exits and bathrooms when I go somewhere, I’ve always done it 🤷🏻‍♀️

54. Have you ever dyed your hair?

No because I’m a ginger. I can’t just dye it back if I end up not liking the color I dyed it to.

55. What colour are your eyes?

Brown

56. What’s your favourite animal?

Answered in previous ask

57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself?

Multiple times

58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

My relationship with my dad is rocky but my relationship with my mother went up in flames a few yeaes ago 🤷🏻‍♀️

59. Do you have good friends?

I have some amazing friends🥺💗

60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group?

Yep!

61. What’s your favourite class?

My favorite class was Psychology

62. List all the tv shows you are watching.

I’m rewatching Criminal Minds right now.

63. Are you organized?

Somewhat?

64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion?

I don’t know if it counts as a movie but I just finished a Ted Bundy Tapes Documentary. I think Bundy was a little bit of an idiot.

67. Which tv character do you relate to most?

Spencer Reid

68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness?

Anxiety, Depression, overthinking

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?

I would probably still work, I’m not a fan of sitting around and doing nothing for large amounts of time.

70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die?

Find a way to die, I don’t want to live forever. That’s just torture 👀

71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you?

Nothing. I’ll act the same as I always have because I am who I am, there’s no reason to change yourself from when someone is watching and when someone isn’t.

72. If you could start over, what would you do differently?

A lot 😂

73. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Yep

74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new?

I went to Disney with my Chorus Class in Junior Year of HS, it was my first time to Disney.

75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?

Nothing, I’m looking for Home. Home will be someone I feel safe with, someone I can be completely myself with— someone I love wholly.

76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?

I— idk?

77. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

I wanted to be a nurse 🤦🏻‍♀️

78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?

Im not sure

79. When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?

Ooh... uh, something happened to me all through 7th, 8th, and 9th grade that I should’ve spoken up about but was too scared.

80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence.

I will work hard to love myself and pursue my dream job.

81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like?

No clue tbh

82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?

I don’t want to live forever but I guess I’d find a way to take away my immortality or find someone else who is immortal to love

83. How would you spend a billion dollars?

Id put a lot into important causes and then save some with interest.

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?

I’m not sure, I think I wouldn’t go anywhere because I want to live in the moment. Except 2020, fuck 2020.

85. What motivates you to succeed?

Failure motivates me to succeed.

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most?

I don’t remember most of my happy dream, I usually can only remember the nightmares 🤷🏻‍♀️

87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why?

Woods, its peaceful.

88. Do you believe in life after death?

I don’t really believe in anything 🤷🏻‍♀️

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they?

I had a teacher named Ms Eagan and she inspired me to always be myself.

90. What’s your fondest childhood memory?

Meeting Lily

91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why?

Lily, because I really miss her.

92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy?

Anyone being nice to me makes me cry—

93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life?

Sometimes the people you call family don’t truly love you.

94. What do you think happens after we die?

Idk and idrc either tbh

95. What would you do if you would be invisible?

I’d probably scare some people

96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try?

Speak in public or ask for something at restaurants

97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring?

Eh

98. How did your first crush develop?

They were nice to me when no one else was

99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it?

Yes, I’m trying to ignore how upset some people can really make me.

100. Do you live or do you just exist?

I think I’m somewhere in between, where sometimes I’m just existing and sometimes I’m living.

[dawnowar]

Been on my January Diet for a week

I’m counting calories this time because I got so sick of WW that I just plain wasn’t doing it anymore for long enough i may as well save my $$$$. I’m eating sugar again (in limited quantities) and i couldn’t be happier. It’s not hard sticking to this at all and im just wearing my fitbit and trying to burn more calories than I eat. 

So i got a Planet Fitness membership cause its cheap in addition to my regular Jazzercise classes which i go to almost every day. The days I don’t go are usually Saturday cause theres only morning classes and I go out Friday nights and sleep through them... and Thursdays cause im in a different part of town and if i rush over, i get the worst instructor and if i go home and eat first I don’t get up. 

I’ve had gym memberships before and i mostly dont use them because if theres not a time to show up and instructor instructing me, i dont do any actual exercise, but PF is great especially for the price. You’re sure to get screwed out of a month’s money when you finally decide to cancel because you will inevitably cancel on the wrong day but thats hardly a tragedy and you can still use the memebership up until you’re really canceled.

As far as using it goes, the gym is friendly and clean and cheap and safe which is all my fave things. I signed up for a “class” which turned out to be a small group w a trainer for half an hour, but since i was the only one signed up, he gave me a personal training session for about 45 min. Said its like that at this location and if you sign up at a not-busy time you can basically get free personal training on the regular. 

Sounded good and then i woke up sore the next day! LOL and it was Thursday so instead of rushing across town to the bad Jazzercise instructor, I did an at home yoga class.. I got a groupon for $15 for a year subsciption to Yoga Collective where you can stream yoga classes and do em in your house. 

The price was right even if i only use it once, that’s about the price of a drop-in class in these here parts, but i was bummed to find out there’s no Roku channel for Yoga Collective, so i bought a chromecast for $35 so I can stream these workouts on my TV.

Even still, i have to use the Google Home app to mirror my tablet to stream it but it does it and it’s great and im sure i’m glad i bought it. I love Yoga but its really too damn expensive. The cheap yoga places memberships are $75 a month (the expensive ones are $100) and i’m already paying somewhere around $55/mo for Jazzercise. Used to have both when they were both $50 a month but going over the $100 a month mark for exercise seems like a lot to me. I may change my mind because i miss real Yoga.

But seriously, why does yoga cost that much im not really sure. 

So the Chromecast, for the record, does a great job streaming YouTube where the Roku channel is a nightmare. That alone might be worth the $35 i spent for it. 

Meanwhile I’m feeling thinner. Maybe not stronger just yet but after spending most of this Fall sick in bed with colds and sore throats and sinus infections, I not only gained 10-15 lbs but i got weak and flabby so it feels great to be back in action. I’m not quite at the fitness level i was at before, but I’m way closer to it than I was around Thanksgiving when I got sick for i think the 5th time and relented to just having to not worry about it during the Holidays and just know I’m going on a January diet. 

I really wanted to. The holidays seemed endless and I just felt fatter and flabbier as they went on and on...  so i got back on track pretty easily.

I’m weighing myself once a week on Mondays. Any more than that makes me a little crazy. Spent, i dont know.. decades.. trying to figure out how to not let the number on that scale decide how i felt about myself. 

I’m there which is great. I have a long and terrible relationship with my scale and I’ve found that I basically can’t weigh myself because i get obsessed with what number it gives me. Also i swear that number is +/- 4lbs at any given time..and because I’m talking about having 15 lbs to lose....that can really send me into some bad place quickly if i get a high number when I step on.

anyway its taken me DECADES to ignore the scale. and just do the thing where i watch what i eat and exercise. But ive also found that i have to weigh myself sometimes or I have no real confirmation if what im doing it doing any real good or not. Even weekly weigh ins seem counter-productive sometimes when I know what ive done and the number isnt gonna be good. Sometimes I gain when I do everything right. Which is the madding part. They’re good about not being judgy at WW but I hate that they still make you weigh in and they still put the focus on the scale even though they act like they aren’t doing that.. but you don’t make lifetime for creating healthy habits, you earn it by keeping your weight under a certain number and keeping it there. 

If you fall off, then basically they start charging you again. Which is reasonable. They don’t kick you out or shame you or anything but this program is about numbers, make no mistake. 

Anyway i learned a lot in my on/off WW time about how to just not diet in secret and not be ashamed of it cause literally everybody has struggles with their weight and if they don’t, they’re the weird one, not you. And getting on the scale isn’t terrible at all if you don’t let the number you see rule you. Because whatever it says you’re gonna keep eating right and exercising, and if you don’t you’ll start again tomorrow. and if you keep doing that you’ll get where you want to be eventually. 

I’m loving the exercise. Now that I’m active i want to do even more stuff but my body isn’t cooperating just yet. It wants to rest. I know i need to rest but my brain is so ready to do this. 

My knees also didn’t get the memo but theyre holding up well. Years of exercising w arthritic knees and ive figured out what not to do the hard way mostly already and im so much stronger than i ever was, but i still have problems sometimes and im trying to be careful.

My heel is swollen. It does that sometimes and i have to stay off it, but im not going to. This is an old injury that never healed right from about 5 1/2 yrs ago so it probably will never be any better than it is now. Its Yoga funny enough that messes it up worst for all the weight bearing one-legged moves. But i’ve got Tuli��s heel cups or heel cushions of some variety in all my shoes and yoga jellies and extra padding for my already-thick mat and its getting better while I’m still exercising so i’m not stopping, but i did ride a bike at PF the other day instead of doing weight-bearing cardio. 

I’m just trying to do something every day, and burn a certain amount of calories per day and eat less calories than that. Should work out. 

[the-waifu-smackdown]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104.

smartass cough i mean yeah lets get started on this

1- You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

I’d ask them how one of us managed to teleport over 1000 miles and why im naked.

2- What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? 

uuhhhh we broke up and we haven’t talked in months.

3- If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? 

yeah kinda

4- Is your last name longer than six letters? 

yes

5- Was your last kiss drunk or sober? 

all of them have been sober

6- Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? 

yeah. put simply i made too many strong advances

7- What does your last received text say?

putting aside memes its “it me”

8- How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? 

fuck i cant remember that

9- Where was your last kiss at? 

probably my room

10- When is the last time you saw your sister? 

idk its probably been over 7 months

11- What do you drink in the morning? 

milk. or water. usually water than milk then water again.

12- Where did you sleep last night? 

my room

13- Do you think relationships are hard? 

depending on the relationship, yeah. i mean if you feel that a relationship is hard then its not a good relationship.

14- If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? 

as much as i would want to say otherwise, no.

15- You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? 

it would be extremely awkward

16- Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? 

rainy

17- Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? 

i know people who have my middle name as their first name

18- Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? 

pajama pants but that’s going to change in about an hour

19- Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? 

if things go as planned then no

20- Does anyone like you? 

yes

21- Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? 

my ex’s name started with an s

22- Is the last person you kissed gay? 

i think they were bi?

23- Is there a person you CANNOT stand? 

yeah the person who kicked me out of my last home

24- Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? 

many times

25- In the past week have you cried? 

i cant remember the last time i cried.

26- What breed was the last dog you saw? 

mutt

27- Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? 

outside of the shower. i ain’t wanting to get my towel any more wet than its getting

28- Have you ever kissed a football player? 

no

29- Do you think you’re old? 

no

30. Do you like text messaging? 

yeah

31- What type of day are you having? 

too early to tell

32- Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? 

maybe once

33- Do you prefer warm or cold weather? 

i prefer cooler weather bc jackets. but not cold because snow is horrible to drive in.

34- Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? 

yes

35- Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? 

a relationship

36- Are you a simple or complicated person? 

i like to think myself on the simple side but then again all people are complicated

37- What song are you listening to? 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IK6eLTNV1k

38- When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? 

i try to

39- Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

she knows a lot about me and i know a considerable amount of her

40-What made you start liking the person you like now? 

shit that’s a whole can of worms. i guess its when she convinced me to start taking philosophy classes and fencing and i got to start spending a lot of time with her her slowly learning about her and her good sides and her bad sides and at some point i fell for her.

41- When did you last receive a text message?

at 4:30 am while i was asleep

42- What is wrong with you right now? 

shit bro i aint even about to touch that. too much to talk about

43- How well do you know the last female you texted?

if we are talking about the group text then ive been friends with both of them for over 6 years now. shit its been 6 years? if we are talking about individual conversations then i would like to say that i know them pretty well.

44- Does anyone disgust you?

remember the person who kicked me out of my last home? yeah.

45- Would you date someone right now if they asked? 

it depends on a lot of things; if i didn’t  know who they were and they asked me out of the blue then i would probably refuse but if it was someonw who i knew a bit better then i would consider it.

46- Are you in a good mood right now?

i suppose

47- Who was the last person you talked to in person?

a friend of mine

48- What color shirt are you wearing? 

aqua ish?

49- Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

i wont say there has been anything that i haven’t wanted to hear. definitely things that have made me uncomfortable but not anything i would outright say that i wouldn’t want to hear

50- Anyone you’re giving up on? 

i give up on people on a daily basis you need to be more specific

51- Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? 

shit i cant let myself hate them

52- Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? 

yeah

53- Do you like rain? 

yes

54- Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? 

as long as its not excessive not really

55- Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? 

you mean right now?

56- Do you like to cuddle?

yeah

57- Are you shy? 

kinda? i know how to be sociable when i need to. learn how to do something sop that you don’t have to do it.

58- Do you get along with girls? 

most of my irl friends are girls

59- Have you dated the person you texted last? 

no

60- What do you carry with you at all times? 

phone, wallet, notepad

61- If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? 

i used to live in a building that was supposedly haunted. once you get on good terms with the ghosts its not that bad

62- Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

if its the right kind of relationship then yeah.

63- Think back to October, were you in a relationship? 

no

64- The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? 

i don’t think id be able to function of they kissed me on the forehead

65- Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? 

define cute. how are we using this?

66- How old are the last three people you kissed? 

excluding my mother we have about 21, 25, and 21

67- Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? 

do them myself

68- Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?   

zebra

69- Do you have any stickers on your car? 

yeah. because i bought the car from a family i was friends with it has a zombie family on it. if i can fins my triforce stick ill put that on there too

70- Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?     

who? who?

71- Blackberry, Android, or iPhone?     

android

72- When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? 

i dunno

73- Do you like diet soda?     

eh

74- What color are the walls in your room?    

beige

75- Are you 16 or older?     

im older

76- Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?   

what?

77- Do you have a job? 

yeah i gotta get ready soon for that

78- What are your initials? 

NTS

79- Did you ever have braces?    

no

80- Are you from the south?     

no

81- What does your last status on Facebook say?    

i haven’t touched Facebook in ages

82- Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?

yes

83- Are you closer to your mom or your dad? 

probably my mom but I’m really close to my dad too

84- Have you ever done cheer leading or gymnastics? 

does yoga count?

85- What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? 

probably guardians of the galaxy 2

86- Do you smoke? 

no

87- Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? 

probably heels unless they are stilettos on any type of high heel

88- Is your phone touch screen?   

yes

89- Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? 

my hair only slightly curls so straight

90- Have you ever snuck out of your house? 

i think so. its been about 4 years since i lived at home and if i have it would have only been once

91- Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?     

rivers are fun

92- Have you ever made out in a car?    

yeah

93- …Had sex in a car? 

…i dont think i have?

94- Are you single or in a relationship?     

single

95- What were you doing last night at midnight?   

reading this ask and deciding to go to bed and answer it in the morning

96- When’s the last time you saw fireworks?   

last night

97- Do you like the camera on your phone? 

its a decent camera

98- Have you ever had a friend with benefits? 

i guess my first relationship was actually fwb situation but honestly it was so messed up that i cant even remember

99- Have you ever passed out from drinking?     

no

100- Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?    

probably

101- Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    

every time a girl wants me to do her raw

102- Name your favorite Kesha song:     

i think blow is my favorite

103- Do you have any tan lines right now?     

right above my butt and some subtle tan lines on my arms

104- Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?     

are you crazy?

[fystarlust]

1-100 ❤

1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it?Rachel, its okay HAHA2. are you artistic?depends what kind cos i cant draw for shit but i can do makeup??3. Have you had your first kiss?yes4. What is your life goal?be happy5. Do you have any experiences with a famous person?i mean ive seen 5sos 1d and mcbusted in person if that counts6. Do you play any sports?horse riding, i want to play more though i actually really like sports7. What’s your worst fear?demons8. Who’s your biggest inspiration?jacksepticeye9. Do you have any cool talents?my makeup looks great sometimes10. are you a morning person?yes11. How do you feel about pet names?theyre cute to a point, im not about that 'cupcake sprinkle sugar bean' life12. Do you like to read?if the book is good yes13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life.none have changed my life thats a bit far14. Do you care about your follower count?i used to but not anymore15. What’s the best dream you’ve had?i recently dreamt my gf was back home again16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender?yes17. Do you have any pets?yes, 3 dogs, 4 cats, 1 horse and soon to be 1 hamster18. Are you religious?no lol19. Are you a people person?noooo20. Are you considered popular?considered by who HAHAH bc my gf thinks im pretty cool 💁🏼21. What is one of your bad habits?biting my nails22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable?during and after ive had a mental breakdown23. What would you name your children?Lily, Ava24. Who’s your celebrity crush?taeeeee25. What’s your best subject?nothing academic rip26. Dogs or cats?dogs27. most used social media besides tumblr?youtube28. best friends name?ellie29. who does your main family consist of?idk what main family consists of but i see all my family a lot so my mum, brother, dad, grandparents, aunty, uncle, cousins30. Chocolate or sugar?both31. have you ever been on a date?yes32. Do you like roller coasters?some types of them33. Can you swim?ye boi34. What would you do in the event of an apocalypse?i would be a badass mf and protect my loved ones and animals35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder?yes, am currently struggling with a few and likely always will be36. Are your parents together?no37. What’s your favorite color?baby blue38. What country are you from/do you live in?England to both39. Favorite singer?bts40. Do you see yourself being famous some day?nope41. Do you like dresses?yes but i need to work on my confidence when wearing them42. Favorite song right now?deeessspaaacito43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?yes, very44. How old were you when you first got your period?1245. Have you ever shot a gun?nope46. Have you ever done yoga?yes47. Are you a horror girl?if this means horror film then yes48. Are you good at giving advice?kind of? with some things im not though49. Tell us a story about your childhood.near my house me and my friends had this den that was like a cave in the ground and it was sooo cool we spent hours in there everyday and its still there50. How are you doing today?im okay51. Were you a cute kid?not to be up my own ass but yes52. Can you dance?secretly yes53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing?looking after animals54. Have you ever dyed your hair?nope too scared55. What color are your eyes?blue56. What’s your favorite animal?ooooo i cant pick one i have so many57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself?lots of times, ellie n jess know this best58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?its complicated but kind of59. Do you have good friends?wonderful ones60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group?yes61. What’s your favorite class?in college it was Zoo Management62. List all the tv shows you are watching.RuPauls Drag Race, The Walking Dead, Your Lie in April63. Are you organized?yes64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion?i cant remember65. Which tv character do you relate to most?not a tv character but Ryan from BuzzFeed Unsolved is literally me as an asian male68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness?my hell brain69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?travelling with my gf70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die?god idk71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you?iDk72. If you could start over, what would you do differently?i dont like these deep questions73. Would you break the law to save a loved one?yes74. When was the last time you traveled somewhere new?the other week when i went to Wadswick 75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?my dogs76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?i applied for a hnc77. What did you want to be when you were a kid?a vet78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?everything?? i dont knOW79. When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?when i was being bullied, shouldve beat that bitch into the dirt80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence.travel and be happy and be with jess and around animals81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like?well id get a lot more done82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?id spend it with jess then when she died id kill myself HAHAHAH that sounds so dark83. How would you spend a billion dollars?travelling, on a house, animals84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?the past, i dont wanna see the shithole of a future until i have to85. What motivates you to succeed?literally nothing86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most?a lot of them cos theyre v realistic, i dont like it87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why?woods BUT not a creepy woods where id get killed, just a nice forest, and because i hate how busy cities are88. Do you believe in life after death?im not sure89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they?none they can all suck my ass90. What’s your fondest childhood memory?the one about the cave den91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why?jacksepticeye bc i luv him sm92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy?when people come home from fighting abroad to their kids or dogs93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life?idk how to sum it up94. What do you think happens after we die?i have no idea95. What would you do if you would be invisible?pretend to be a ghost and scare people96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try?DRAW97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring?no i like surprises98. How did your first crush develop?i cant remember99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it?yes always lmao, paranoia, anxiety, worry100. Do you live or do you just exist?so deep oooOoOoooO i dont care

[goodgodno]

1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it? - not telling, and no 2. are you artistic? -i guess 3. Have you had your first kiss? -Ofc not im aidan fucking casey (anyone hmu im lonely) 4. What is your life goal? -to influence people 5. Do you have any experiences with a famous person? -i once tweeted at casey neistat and he didnt respond 6. Do you play any sports? -not any more 7. What’s your worst fear? -failure 8. Who’s your biggest inspiration? -probably casey neistat 9. Do you have any cool talents? -i can freak people out by looking at them 10. are you a morning person? -yeah if im not woken up early 11. How do you feel about pet names? -the closest i get to that is calling someone B 12. Do you like to read? -yeah but i dont read as much as id like to 13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life.- does casey neistats vlog count? (Ill shut up with the casey neistat) 14. Do you care about your follower count?- i do on my rinsta, but it bothers me that people feel validated based off of numbers like that (likes etc) 15. What’s the best dream you’ve had? -i dont remember my dreams- the weirdest dream i had was that everyone i knew was trans 16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender? -by accident once (does that count?) 17. Do you have any pets?- I have a kitten named Rocket and a full grown cat named Oreo (who is dying of multiple cases of cancer) 18. Are you religious? - Im pretty agnostic, and the catholic church disgusts me 19. Are you a people person?- definitely 20. Are you considered popular?- i try not to think in terms like that, but i guess i have a lot of friends? 21. What is one of your bad habits?- procrastination 22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable?- depression 23. What would you name your children? - ill name one of em’ Casey to fuck with them 24. Who’s your celebrity crush? - Emma Watson? 25. What’s your best subject?- Best- French, Favorite- Art 26. Dogs or cats? Doggos 27. most used social media besides tumblr?- Snapchat/INstagram 28. best friends name? I dont categorize people as best friends, but matt and sara are my oldest friends 29. who does your main family consist of? mostly my grandmother and grandfather tbh 30. Chocolate or sugar? SUGAR 31. have you ever been on a date? no 32. Do you like roller coasters? n0 33. Can you swim? n.O 34. What would you do in the event of an apocalypse? hide in a school with a weapon 35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder? self-diagnosed depression? (dont worry i too am rolling my eyes) 36. Are your parents together? barely 37. What’s your favorite color? anything 38. What country are you from/do you live in? ‘MURCA (fuck yeah) 39. Favorite singer? whatever’s on 40. Do you see yourself being famous some day? i wish 41. Do you like dresses? no 42. Favorite song right now? All Night- Parov Stelar 43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? im fine with it ironically, or as a joke, but if people are talking about it literallt shit gets weird 44. How old were you when you first got your period? did you just assume my gender? 45. Have you ever shot a gun? yep 46. Have you ever done yoga? nope 47. Are you a horror girl? did you just assume my gender? 48. Are you good at giving advice? i like to think that I am, but like i dont take my own advice 49. Tell us a story about your childhood. no fuck off 50. How are you doing today? meh 51. Were you a cute kid? i was thicc af 52. Can you dance? when nobody is looking im good 53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing? twirling pens 54. Have you ever dyed your hair? yea and im still recoiling from all of the people that called me a fag 55. What color are your eyes? BLUE 56. What’s your favorite animal? squirrels? 57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself? hell yeah man i do it like 3x a day 58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? not really 59. Do you have good friends? most of them are 8/8 m8 60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group? sure 61. What’s your favorite class? Studio Art? I put the most effort into it, and its where i get my lowest grades 62. List all the tv shows you are watching. not watching any atm 63. Are you organized? I try to be but i evenually get lazy and shit collapses 64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion? Inside Out- I’m still super sh00k 65. Which tv character do you relate to most?- bob ross i guess i dont watch that much tv 68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness?- reality 69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?- I’d like to think I’d do something super cool and revolutionary but to be real id probably buy a lot of expensive shit and never do anything 70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die? I’d be a little less afraid of failure, because I’d have more chances 71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you? I’d dye my hair and shit 72. If you could start over, what would you do differently?- a lot of shit that I wont write here 73. Would you break the law to save a loved one?- depends on the law/ who 74. When was the last time you traveled somewhere new?- I went to The Grand Canyon last summer 75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?- I think of my grandmother’s house 76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?- I’m stuck in thsi existential gridlock where i know what i want to be but i dont know what to do next 77. What did you want to be when you were a kid?- happy 78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?- most of the safety and stability of everything around me 79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?- no idea; i push that shit out of my head 80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence.- highschool, then college. 81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like?- I wouldnt sleep, and that would be pretty shit 82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?- trying to kill myself (I dont want to live forever) 83. How would you spend a billion dollars? on myself 84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future? past, but id want to go back 85. What motivates you to succeed?- nothing, and thats my problem 86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most? idk yet 87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why? City- i need to be around lots of people 88. Do you believe in life after death? No 89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they? So far, i guess Andrea Lee 90. What’s your fondest childhood memory? Gramma R’s house 91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why? My grampa dave, he seemed like a cool guy 92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy? Idk 93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life? Idk 94. What do you think happens after we die? We get buried/cremated 95. What would you do if you would be invisible? Walk around naked 96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try? Avoid awkwardness 97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring? Yeah i guess 98. How did your first crush develop? We were friends for a while and i guess it just evolved from there 99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it? Idk man 100. Do you live or do you just exist? You live

[shadyparakoopa]

All of them

Fuck you :C

1. What's your middle name, and do you like it? “Paul” and ...I guess?

2. are you artistic? I guess so..I should start drawing more

3. Have you had your first kiss? no...

 4. What is your life goal? idk man i just need a job first but I guess I wanna get into animation and stuff and maybe make a game?

5. Do you have any expieriences with a famous person? Not really

6. Do you play any sports? No

7. What's your worst fear? Abandonment, Bees, some shit like that

8. Who's your biggest inspiration? Depends, Steve Purcells a big inspiration between art and writing

9. Do you have any cool talents? I’m good at art and cooking

10. are you a morning person? HHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no

11. How do you feel about pet names? what?

12. Do you like to read? Sure

13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life. MST3K, ATHF, Sam & Max, Venture Bros. Billy & Mandy

14. Do you care about your follower count? Nah

15. What's the best dream you've had? The other night I had a dream I had a job and a relationship...Im not joking. :T

 16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender? I havent even kissed anyone.

17. Do you have any pets? Heck ye

18. Are you religious? eh

19. Are you a people person? ehh?

20. Are you considered popular? probably not

21. What is one of your bad habits? Does self doubt and negativity count.

22. What's something that makes you feel vulnerable?  lonliness, lack of motivation

23. What would you name your children? idk

24. Who's your celebrity crush? idunno

25. What's your best subject? science

26. Dogs or cats? Both!

27. most used social media besides tumblr? idk i dont really use much, i got a twitter I suppose

28. best friends name. Tim

29. who does your main family consist of. My mom, my dad (divorced) nd step dad and brother

30. Chocolate or sugar Both

31. have you ever been on a date? No.

32. Do you like rollercosters? Heck ye

33. Can you swim? Yep

34. What would you do in the event of an apocolypse? Fight people  I guess. Sleep. the usual stuff

35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder. Yep

36. Are your parents together? nope

37. What's your favourite colour? Green

38. What country are you from/do you live in? America

39. Favourite singer? idk

40. Do you see yourself being famous some day? I hope so

41. Do you like dresses? *shrug*

42. Favourite song right now? idk

43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Not really

44. How old were you when you first got your period? I never even had one 

45. Have you ever shot a gun? yea

46. Have you ever done yoga? No

47. Are you a horror girl? I’m a guy first of all

48. Are you good at giving advice? Sometimes

49. Tell us a story about your childhood. While hiking with a summer camp we stepped on a underground wasp nest and I got stung everywhere. It mad me develop a fear of bees

50. How are you doing today? eh...depressed

51. Were you a cute kid? I suppose

52. Can you dance? No

53. Is there anything you do that you can't remember ever not doing? Idk?

54. Have you ever dyed your hair? No

55. What colour are your eyes? Brown

56. What's your favourite animal? Bats or Raccoons

57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself? You dont even know..

58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Mostly yeah

59. Do you have good friends? Yeh

60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group? Yeah, also I am Bi

61. What's your favourite class? Science

62. List all the tv shows you are watching. None right now since verything is on Hiatus or cancelled

63. Are you organized? No

64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion? I dont remember, Movies are expensive

67. Which tv character do you relate to most? Rick from Rick and Morty I guess.

68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness? Money, having a job, or a relationship. etc Depression

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing? Trying to improve my skills and animate etc

70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die? I dont know. I’ll outlive everyone I care about so thats depressing

71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you? no idea

72. If you could start over, what would you do differently? try to do better in highschool and try to be more social

73. Would you break the law to save a loved one? Yeah

74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new? idk a long time ago

75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind? Home?

76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today? Nothing

77. What did you want to be when you were a kid? dont remember

78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking? No clue

79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have? hell if i remember

80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence. “Try too get a job and relationship and learn to care about myself”

81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like? I dont know geez

82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity? Depressed because I out lived everyone

83. How would you spend a billion dollars? Classes, Food, video games, travvelling, gifts for friends

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future? no idea,I guess future

85. What motivates you to succeed? Motivatioon from friends

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most? idk

87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why? Both are cool.

88. Do you believe in life after death. idk

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they? I dont knoowwww

90. What’s your fondest childhood memory? I cant think of much rn. Pobabaly going to some fair oor theme park

91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why? No idea 

92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy? What

93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life? What?

94. What do you think happens after we die? Why are we a philosophy now 

95. What would you do if you would be invisible? Invisible stuff

96. What's something you can't do no matter how hard you try? Have self confidence

97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring? idk i dont even want kids 

98. How did your first crush develop? Idk

99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it? Depression. Still :T

100. Do you live or do you just exist?  what????????????????

Fuck you anon

[idontevenknowme-posts]

ASK THE BLOGGER

1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it? anonymous but yes I do 

2. are you artistic? id say so yes

3. Have you had your first kiss? yes 

4. What is your life goal? to be genuinely happy and in love 

5. Do you have any experiences with a famous person? yes 

6. Do you play any sports? only gym

7. What’s your worst fear? being heartbroken once again 

8. Who’s your biggest inspiration? i honestly dont really have any. most people tend to disappoint me 

9. Do you have any cool talents? no

10. are you a morning person? yeah 

11. How do you feel about pet names? well its better than being nameless lol 

12. Do you like to read? yeah

13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life. none have changed my life 

14. Do you care about your follower count? no 

15. What’s the best dream you’ve had? getting married

16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender? yes 

17. Do you have any pets? no 

18. Are you religious? no 

19. Are you a people person? no 

20. Are you considered popular? no 

21. What is one of your bad habits? biting my nails 

22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable? that im fucking naive 

23. What would you name your children? olivia and noah i think 

24. Who’s your celebrity crush? zac efron 

25. What’s your best subject? psychology 

26. Dogs or cats? dogs 

27. most used social media besides tumblr? instagram 

28. best friends name? dont have one 

29. who does your main family consist of? just me, mum and dad 

30. Chocolate or sugar? chocolate

31. have you ever been on a date? yes 

32. Do you like roller coasters? yes 

33. Can you swim? yes 

34. What would you do in the event of an apocalypse? dont know 

35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder? yes 

36. Are your parents together? no 

37. What’s your favorite color? blue 

38. What country are you from/do you live in? xxx

39. Favorite singer? probably kygo 

40. Do you see yourself being famous some day? no 

41. Do you like dresses? yes 

42. Favorite song right now? came here for love 

43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? no 

44. How old were you when you first got your period? 12 

45. Have you ever shot a gun? no 

46. Have you ever done yoga? yes 

47. Are you a horror girl? no 

48. Are you good at giving advice? dont know?? i try 

49. Tell us a story about your childhood. first i was happy then I broke 

50. How are you doing today? horrible 

51. Were you a cute kid? from age 3-6 yes 

52. Can you dance? yes i practised it for many years

53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing? no 

54. Have you ever dyed your hair? yes 

55. What color are your eyes? blue 

56. What’s your favorite animal? dogs 

57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself? yes 

58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? yes

59. Do you have good friends? i dont have any 

60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group? no 

61. What’s your favorite class? psychology 

62. List all the tv shows you are watching. i dont watch any atm 

63. Are you organized? yes 

64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion? dont even remember 

65. Which tv character do you relate to most? none 

68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness? my depression 

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing? lol dk 

70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die? i’d be fucking miserable 

71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you? be fat and naked all the time 

72. If you could start over, what would you do differently? not be born 

73. Would you break the law to save a loved one? yes 

74. When was the last time you traveled somewhere new? few months ago 

75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind? not my home 

76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today? nothing xD 

77. What did you want to be when you were a kid? teacher 

78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking? everything 

79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have? few days ago 

80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence. to become truly happy. 

81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like? idk not gonna happen

82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity? try to figure out how to die 

83. How would you spend a billion dollars? clothes, travels etc 

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future? future 

85. What motivates you to succeed? my bf 

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most? dk

87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why? woods. not into many people and loud noises 

88. Do you believe in life after death? no 

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they? none 

90. What’s your fondest childhood memory? dont know, a vacation to france i believe 

91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why? my bf <3 hes the best 

92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy? probably when i get married or have children 

93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life? that the ones you love the most can hurt you the most

94. What do you think happens after we die? we die 

95. What would you do if you would be invisible? stalk people lol 

96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try? not hurt myself

97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring? yess

98. How did your first crush develop? dont remember

99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it? pain

100. Do you live or do you just exist? exist

[apsbicepstraining]

What it’s like to be diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at age 25

In February of 2015, after a busy weekend, I began feeling some tingling in the bottom of my feet. I thought that I was just sore from wearing heels, but within a few days, the numbness and tingling proceeded to go up my shins and into my knees and through my thighs. Id compare the feeling to when your foot falls asleep.

Although the sensation was getting more and more intense over the course of two or three days, I wasn’t super concerned. I thought that maybe my diet had played a role. I’m a very active person and I work in health and fitness PR, so I was just thinking, “Oh, maybe I’m not getting enough magnesium or something.”

After about five days of this feeling traveling inch by inch up my legs, I went to see my primary-care physician thanks to the advice of my sister, who’s a surgical nurse. My doctor quickly ordered an electromagnetic test (EMG) and an MRI to rule out meningitis, ALS, multiple sclerosis, and lymphoma. That’s when I started to get a little nervous.

The next day I went and got those tests done. By then, the numbness and tingling had become so severe that I almost couldn’t walkI could feel the pressure of the ground beneath me, but I was forcing my leg to move. By day seven, it was almost a state of complete paralysis.

The EMG was the first test and it began with them sticking needles all over my legs and then sending electromagnetic shocks through those needles to see how my nerves reacted. I’ll never forget it. The neurologist said I had severe swelling in my spinal cord, and ordered an immediate brain and spinal cord MRI.

When I was done with the MRI they said, “Go home, get some food because you’ve been in testing all day. Your doctor will likely call you and go over the results tomorrow or they’ll bring you in. Just relax.”

But within 10 minutes of me walking out of that place, my doctor called me and said, “I don’t mean to scare you but you need to stop whatever you’re doing right now and go into the ER. I just got your preliminary images and there’s a major, major area of swelling in your spinal cord. You need to seek treatment right away.” That was exceptionally terrifying. I thought that I was going to be able to relax and see what happens, but instead it was back to the ER, where they whisked me into a wheelchair right away.

That’s when the series of diagnostic tests took place. I had two spinal taps, blood work, etc. I had four different neurologists come down to put me through strength tests, like the sharp-soft test, where they break a toothpick in half and they ask you if you can tell the sharp side from the soft side. At this point, they were trying to diagnose me through a process of elimination. 

RELATED: THE SURPRISING REASON MOST PEOPLE GET CANCER

At first, they said, “Oh, you definitely have to spend the night”, then it was two nights, then three. Every day they would come back and say, “Oh, you don’t have AIDS”, and I’d think, “Great, this is wonderful. Wasn’t hoping for AIDS.”

But in all seriousness, AIDS is an autoimmune disease, which is what MS is, so its not too far off. They would say, “Oh, you don’t have lupus. We can rule out Lyme disease.” And so on, and so on

In the meantime, my doctors were trying to reduce my spinal swelling. Every day I got a little bit more feeling back, but there was still a lot I couldn’t feel.

Then after day four or five, doctors told me that I had transverse myelitis. A neurological disorder caused by inflammation of the spinal cord, transverse myelitis can be an initial indicator of multiple sclerosis, according to Kathleen Costello, vice president of healthcare access for the National MS Society. 

There’s no one test that can determine whether or not you have MS. It was the combined results from the MRI, the spinal tap, blood work, electrical tests, etc. (not to mention, my symptoms) that led my neurologists to that conclusion. By the time I got my diagnosis, I had already figured it would be something severe based on my symptoms. Despite that, I don’t think any young woman is ready to hear that she has MS.

RELATED: DO YOU HAVE A VITAMIN B12 DEFICIENCY? ANSWER THESE 5 QUESTIONS TO FIND OUT

I’ve been told the paralysis I experienced is one of the worst ways that MS can initially present itself. To put it in perspective, when some people are diagnosed with MS, their first symptoms are blurred vision or a lack of coordination or they have a little bit of numbness in their pinky finger, says Costello.

At the worst point, the paralysis had gone all the way up to the top of my ribcage, right below my bra line, and I felt a tightness, like someone was squeezing my ribs together, making it hard to breathe and hard to walk. That, I later found out, is called the MS hug, which is a common first symptom. For me to go from a person who is boxing and doing Crossfit and yoga classes seven days a week to not knowing if Id be able to walk again, was quite shocking.

Of those who suffer transverse myelitis, around 30 percent of them are never able to walk again, another 30 percent can walk with limited mobility and residual symptoms such as spastic gait and urinary urgency, and the last 30 percent get back, for the most part, full mobility. Thankfully, at the end of my recovery, I was in that last 30 percent, and now I’m walking and moving and working out and doing most of the things I used to be able to do.

However, I now live with permanent nerve damagea common side-effect of MS. Any time it gets above 75 degrees or there’s humidity in the air, I have tingling all up and down the back of my legs and my spinal cord. I have this thing called LHermitte. It’s this weird, residual effect that happens when you put your chin to your chest, like if I’m looking down at my phone or if I’m tying my shoe. I get a weird electronic sensation from my nerves misfiring down my back. The way that I best can describe the sensation is that it feels like there’s a vibrator on your back.

Today, I tire much more quickly and I can’t do workouts that are as strenuous as what I used to do. Sometimes I can’t wear heels for too long because Ill begin feeling numbness and tingling. Im still navigating the waters of my mobility, but Im just thankful to not be confined to a wheelchair and have feeling in both my legs.

I had another attack recently, which was much less severe and less traumatizing. I lost feeling in my left arm, but this time I knew what it was and I got on steroid treatment right away. Now I have most of my feeling back with minimal permanent damage. Today, I manage my disease by adhering to a very strict, clean diet, going for MRIs every few months and blood tests every couple weeks, and taking medication and/or seeing my doctor when another attack comes on.

Theres a common misconception that MS is like ALS or that it’s this degenerative, terminal thing, that I’m just going to keep getting worse and worse and there’s nothing to stop it. It seems so much worse than it is. What I’m learning is that you can have an attack and then not have another attack for 30 years; that’s very common. On the other hand, you can have five attacks in two years, which could be really bad and result in a lot of permanent nerve damage. There is a chance that I could be in a wheelchair five or 10 years from now, but that chance is very slim. My youth and the fact that Ive led such a healthy lifestyle have both helped me recover from attacks quickly so far.

For me, the hardest part of all this is the unknown. There is no cure, so I’m waking up every morning wondering if Im going to have another attack, or if today is going to be the day where five lesions pop up into my brain and I wont walk again.

Eighty percent of people diagnosed with MS are Caucasian females in their childbearing years. Learning that statistic was shocking, but in a way, I was comforted by itI feel less alone.

RELATED: ARE YOUR PERIODS IRREGULAR? YOU COULD HAVE THIS SYNDROME AND NOT EVEN KNOW IT

The one thing I want everyone to know is that I can still live my life with this disease. A lot of people dont realize thateven my own friends.

I’ve had friends talk badly about me, saying things like, Well, if shes so sick, hows she drinking on Saturday at a rooftop brunch? and wondering why I look perfectly normal.

Its hard to be open with people because I can see how they might think Im using my disease as an excuse when its convenient. But the reality is I have bad days and I have good dayssometimes I feel ready to take on the world and other days I cant physically get out of bed.

I think thats been one of the more difficult parts for me, dealing with other peoples perceptions and judgments. Whether they think Im dying or being dramatic, its impossible for them to understand what I and other people with MS go through, which leads to misconceptions.

I dont blame people for being confused, but at the same time, I’m not going to lie down and not do things. I’m still a 25-year-old living in New York City. I’m going to have fun. I still want to date and try to find a good guyeven though that situation now comes with a plethora of complications.

At the end of the day, Im learning to appreciate every moment. Yes, it would be great to not have MS, but Im very aware of how lucky I am that my case isnt more severe. Thats been my greatest take away from this experience: Dont take anything for granted.

This article originally appeared on WomensHealthMag.com.

The post What it’s like to be diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at age 25 appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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[fourlynchclover]

1-100

1. What's your middle name, and do you like it? marie, it’s fine it’s just a basic white girl middle name lmao

2. are you artistic? uhhh no lmao 

3. Have you had your first kiss? yes. unfortunately. 

4. What is your life goal? i want a big ass house a bae and some more dogs

5. Do you have any expieriences with a famous person? if youtubers count then yes vidcon as a whole 

6. Do you play any sports? i played baseball for 10 years but not anymore lmao

7. What's your worst fear? dolls

8. Who's your biggest inspiration? melissa mccarthy

9. Do you have any cool talents? i dont think so actually lmao

10. are you a morning person? fuck no

11. How do you feel about pet names? theyre cuuuute

12. Do you like to read? yes but also im lazy 

13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life. i. dont know if any shows have changed my life 

14. Do you care about your follower count? not really im just here. chillin

15. What's the best dream you've had? i have no idea i dont remember a lot of my dreams lmao 

16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender? yes

17. Do you have any pets? yes i have two dogs and a hamster lmao 

18. Are you religious? no 

19. Are you a people person? no

20. Are you considered popular? probably not i dont know. anyone 

21. What is one of your bad habits? crackin my knuckles 

22. What's something that makes you feel vulnerable? uhhh. i have no idea actually 

23. What would you name your children? victoria lynn and michael patrick 

24. Who's your celebrity crush? melissa mccarthy lmao 

25. What's your best subject? like in school?? idk english 

26. Dogs or cats? dogs

27. most used social media besides tumblr? snapchat 

28. best friends name? bella 

29. who does your main family consist of? my mom dad brother and sister really 

30. Chocolate or sugar? chocolate

31. have you ever been on a date? not officially

32. Do you like rollercosters? YES

33. Can you swim? yes i am a mermaid

34. What would you do in the event of an apocolypse? die

35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder? depression anxiety bipolar and probably . more 

36. Are your parents together? no

37. What's your favourite colour? blue 

38. What country are you from/do you live in? usa usa usa usa

39. Favourite singer? adele 

40. Do you see yourself being famous some day? probably not but maybe 

41. Do you like dresses? no. not at all 

42. Favourite song right now? in my feelings by lana del rey

43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? not at all

44. How old were you when you first got your period? i think i was 11

45. Have you ever shot a gun? a nerf gun lmao

46. Have you ever done yoga? not officially 

47. Are you a horror girl? YES

48. Are you good at giving advice? probably not 

49. Tell us a story about your childhood. my family used to have a camp up in the woods and it was where i got drunk for the first time and it was. a lot lmao 

50. How are you doing today? i’m a lil anxious but im fine lmao

51. Were you a cute kid? YEAH

52. Can you dance? no lmao

53. Is there anything you do that you can't remember ever not doing? i have no idea

54. Have you ever dyed your hair? i mean its blue rn so 

55. What colour are your eyes? brown. ew 

56. What's your favourite animal? POLAR BEARS

57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself? i dont. think so

58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? i think so

59. Do you have good friends? YES I LOVE YALL

60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group? literally everyone im friends with

61. What's your favourite class? english was

62. List all the tv shows you are watching - pretty little liars is literally the only show im watching

63. Are you organized? not. at all. 

64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion? moana it was good 

67. Which tv character do you relate to most? molly flynn 

68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness? anxiety and money 

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing? TRAVELING AND MEETING ALL MY INTERNET BBIES 

70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die? i have no idea wtf 

71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you? i dont know lmao 

72. If you could start over, what would you do differently? every fucking thing

73. Would you break the law to save a loved one? probably yes

74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new? in june i went to california it was lit

75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind? my bedroom lmao

76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today? i posted some videos of my dogs on snapchat. i need to go viral and be famous

77. What did you want to be when you were a kid? a teacher 

78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking? honestly. i dont know 

79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have? thursday and last monday .,,

80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence. i dont fuckin know tho 

81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like? I HAVE NO IDEA 

82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity? probs fallin in love an gettin heartbroken lmao 

83. How would you spend a billion dollars? i have no fucking clue

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future? future

85. What motivates you to succeed? nothing lmaooo

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most? i. dont know

87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why? WOODS WOODS WOODS WOODS

88. Do you believe in life after death? yes

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they? none of them honestly lmao 

90. What’s your fondest childhood memory? i dont even know if i have one

91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why MELISSA MCCARTHY I JUST WANNA . SEE HER. HEAR HER VOICE IN PERSON

92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy? idk i do that a lot lmao

93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life? i dont. know

94. What do you think happens after we die? anything tbh 

95. What would you do if you would be invisible? free travelling and lots of stealing lmao

96. What's something you can't do no matter how hard you try? express. feelings ???? 

97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring? YES LIKE THE SIMS IRL 

98. How did your first crush develop? i dont fuckin remember 

99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it? anxiety 

100. Do you live or do you just exist? im just out here floatin through space yall idk whats goin on 

[lowwkeykitty-blog]

answer all of them b

Ugh ok1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it?i don't wanna say but no I don't2. are you artistic?i like to believe that i am 3. Have you had your first kiss?yes4. What is your life goal?just to be a decent human being ig and be successful 5. Do you have any experiences with a famous person?yes 6. Do you play any sports?i have track, baseball, basketball 7. What’s your worst fear?everyone leaving me and cats not existing 8. Who’s your biggest inspiration?Connor Franta 9. Do you have any cool talents?Not really idk10. are you a morning person?no no no no no no 11. How do you feel about pet names?YES YES YES12. Do you like to read?im getting into it more yes13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life.i don't watch much TV but the food network yea😹14. Do you care about your follower count?no not really just that I have a couple that care about me 15. What’s the best dream you’ve had?not telling😉16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender?yes17. Do you have any pets?yes a lot 18. Are you religious?no19. Are you a people person?i can be20. Are you considered popular?to some21. What is one of your bad habits?forgetting things, my temper, biting my nails 22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable?...23. What would you name your children?I like the name Rose/Rosie for a girl idk for a boy 24. Who’s your celebrity crush?Connie Frannie, Calum Hood25. What’s your best subject?Math26. Dogs or cats?Cats all the way27. most used social media besides tumblr?Instagram28. best friends name?Bloof, Kev29. who does your main family consist of?Idk what that means30. Chocolate or sugar?Neither but why tf would I just eat sugar??31. have you ever been on a date?Yes32. Do you like roller coasters?Not really 33. Can you swim?Yes 34. What would you do in the event of an apocalypse?I don't have a clue 35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder?Yes and still am36. Are your parents together?No 37. What’s your favorite color?Green 38. What country are you from/do you live in?United States 39. Favorite singer?That's a hard one ... I can't choose 40. Do you see yourself being famous some day?Nope41. Do you like dresses?On girls yes42. Favorite song right now?You there by: Aquilo 43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?Nope 44. How old were you when you first got your period?I'm a male45. Have you ever shot a gun?Yes46. Have you ever done yoga?Yes47. Are you a horror girl?No?48. Are you good at giving advice?Sometimes yes49. Tell us a story about your childhood.I didn't like my childhood.50. How are you doing today?Eh.51. Were you a cute kid?I think so 52. Can you dance?I'd like to think so53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing?Singing, loving cats54. Have you ever dyed your hair?No55. What color are your eyes?Green56. What’s your favorite animal?Cats 57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself?Yes..58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?No59. Do you have good friends?Yes60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group?Yes61. What’s your favorite class?I liked math and English 62. List all the tv shows you are watching.I'm not watching any63. Are you organized?Yes very64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion?A Dogs Purpose it was great 1000/1065. Which tv character do you relate to most? Idk68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness?My disorders69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?Traveling 70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die?Idk71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you?Actually me myself 72. If you could start over, what would you do differently?Idk73. Would you break the law to save a loved one?Yes74. When was the last time you traveled somewhere new?Last year75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?Comfort 76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?Nothing 77. What did you want to be when you were a kid?A vet and that's still what I wanna be 78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?Idk79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?Ig when I was getting abused 80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence.College. Ha.81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like?Crazy82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?Idk83. How would you spend a billion dollars?Donating it probably 84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?Future definitely 85. What motivates you to succeed?My friends 86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most?87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why?Woods it's quiet there aesthetic88. Do you believe in life after death?Sorta 89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they?My 10th grade English teacher 90. What’s your fondest childhood memory?Idk91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why?Connie Frannie bc he's helped a lot 92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy?No93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life?That not everyone is going to always love you 94. What do you think happens after we die?Idfk 95. What would you do if you would be invisible?Fuck with people 96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try? Whistle 97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring?No98. How did your first crush develop?Idk99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it?Heartbreak 100. Do you live or do you just exist?Just exist for now.

[positivelyhappywithlife]

1. Who  was the last person you held hands with? the last guy I was with while we were sleeping 2. Are you outgoing or shy? A mixture of both depending on the situation 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My kids at work tomorrow in their Purim costumes 4. Are you easy to get along with? I think so 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? I don’t like anyone at the moment 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Someone nice and considerate who actively shows he cares 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I’m not sure where life will take me tomorrow, so I can’t answer this 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? No one really 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Not unless it is about the first person I slept with 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? I couldn’t tell you 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Okay sounds like a plan” 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Oooh great question, but involves too much thinking so pass 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Yeah 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Yeah 15. What good thing happened this summer? I started going out and trying new things 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? No. I want to, but no 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? No, but it would be pretty rad 18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Lol no I don’t even know who my first crush was 19. Do you like bubble baths? No 20. Do you like your neighbors? Indifferent about them 21. What are you bad habits? Biting my nails and picking my face 22. Where would you like to travel? Ireland 23. Do you have trust issues? No, I’m really trusting 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Laying in bed and doing absolutely nothing 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? I’m not sure, I really love myself 26. What do you do when you wake up? Lay in bed on my phone 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? No 28. Who are you most comfortable around? Anyone really 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? No 30. Do you ever want to get married? I think if I met the right person that marriage could be fun 31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yeah 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? None 33. Spell your name with your chin. No 34. Do you play sports? What sports? No, but I used to swim 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Of course 37. What do you say during awkward silences? Laugh and make it even more awkward 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Caring, considerate, loving, respectful, honest, understanding 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Dollar store 40. What do you want to do after high school? I went to college after high school 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? No 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I have mentally tapped out and am probably sad atm 43. Do you smile at strangers? Yeah 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Ocean 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? School and work 46. What are you paranoid about? Nothing really 47. Have you ever been high? No 48. Have you ever been drunk? Yes 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? No 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Navy blue 51. Ever wished you were someone else? No, I love myself 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? Just toning up 53. Favourite makeup brand? Anything that doesn’t make me itchy 54. Favourite store? Dollar store 55. Favourite blog? None 56. Favourite colour? Pink 57. Favourite food? Cheeseburger 58. Last thing you ate? 100 Grand bar 59. First thing you ate this morning? Cocoa puffs 60. Ever won a competition? For what? Spelling bee! 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? No 62. Been arrested? For what? No 63. Ever been in love?  No 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? I don’t remember which kiss was my first 65. Are you hungry right now? No 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I don’t have Tumblr friends 67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook 68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr 69. Are you watching tv right now? No 70. Names of your bestfriends? Laura, Emilia 71. Craving something? What? Sleep 72. What colour are your towels? They are all different 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? One 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? One 75. Favourite animal? Elephant 76. What colour is your underwear? Black 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Chocolate 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Gray sweater 80. What colour pants? Black and pink shorts 81. Favourite tv show? New Girl, the Office 82. Favourite movie? Ramona and Beazus 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? 1 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? MG 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? No one 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? No one 87. First person you talked to today? Emilia 88. Last person you talked to today? My sister 89. Name a person you hate? No one 90. Name a person you love? My mom 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Of course not 92. In a fight with someone? No 93. How many sweatpants do you have? 4 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 5 95. Last movie you watched? Sing 96. Favourite actress? Zooey Deschanel 97. Favourite actor? Patrick Dempsey 98. Do you tan a lot? Never 99. Have any pets? A dog and a cat 100. How are you feeling? Tired 101. Do you type fast? Average 102. Do you regret anything from your past? No, everything I have done has made me who I am today 103. Can you spell well? Yes 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? No 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? I suppose 107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes 108. What should you be doing? Homework 109. Is something irritating you right now? No 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? No 111. Do you have trust issues? No 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? I am not sure actually 113. What was your childhood nickname? Toad 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes 115. Do you play the Wii? No 116. Are you listening to music right now? Yes, Sean Mendes 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Sure 118. Do you like Chinese food? Yes 119. Favourite book? I’m not sure 120. Are you afraid of the dark? Sometimes 121. Are you mean? I can get really mean when I am irritated 122. Is cheating ever okay? No 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? No 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? No 125. Do you believe in true love? Yes 126. Are you currently bored? No 127. What makes you happy? Yoga, chocolate, and laughing unconditionally 128. Would you change your name? No 129. What your zodiac sign? Pisces 130. Do you like subway? Yes 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Evaluate my feelings 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Idk actually 133. Favourite lyrics right now? And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off 134. Can you count to one million? No 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I’m not sure maybe that I had a bf when I was in 5th grade and didn’t  136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed 137. How tall are you? 5′2″ 138. Curly or Straight hair? I have wavy 139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette 140. Summer or Winter? Fall 141. Night or Day? Either 142. Favourite month? October 143. Are you a vegetarian? No 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? milk or dark 145. Tea or Coffee? Neither 146. Was today a good day? Sure! 147. Mars or Snickers? Neither 148. What’s your favourite quote?Do more of what makes you happy 149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first  line on that page? Too lazy

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[apsbicepstraining]

What it’s like to be diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at age 25

In February of 2015, after a busy weekend, I began feeling some tingling in the bottom of my feet. I thought that I was just sore from wearing heels, but within a few days, the numbness and tingling proceeded to go up my shins and into my knees and through my thighs. Id compare the feeling to when your foot falls asleep.

Although the sensation was getting more and more intense over the course of two or three days, I wasn’t super concerned. I thought that maybe my diet had played a role. I’m a very active person and I work in health and fitness PR, so I was just thinking, “Oh, maybe I’m not getting enough magnesium or something.”

After about five days of this feeling traveling inch by inch up my legs, I went to see my primary-care physician thanks to the advice of my sister, who’s a surgical nurse. My doctor quickly ordered an electromagnetic test (EMG) and an MRI to rule out meningitis, ALS, multiple sclerosis, and lymphoma. That’s when I started to get a little nervous.

The next day I went and got those tests done. By then, the numbness and tingling had become so severe that I almost couldn’t walkI could feel the pressure of the ground beneath me, but I was forcing my leg to move. By day seven, it was almost a state of complete paralysis.

The EMG was the first test and it began with them sticking needles all over my legs and then sending electromagnetic shocks through those needles to see how my nerves reacted. I’ll never forget it. The neurologist said I had severe swelling in my spinal cord, and ordered an immediate brain and spinal cord MRI.

When I was done with the MRI they said, “Go home, get some food because you’ve been in testing all day. Your doctor will likely call you and go over the results tomorrow or they’ll bring you in. Just relax.”

But within 10 minutes of me walking out of that place, my doctor called me and said, “I don’t mean to scare you but you need to stop whatever you’re doing right now and go into the ER. I just got your preliminary images and there’s a major, major area of swelling in your spinal cord. You need to seek treatment right away.” That was exceptionally terrifying. I thought that I was going to be able to relax and see what happens, but instead it was back to the ER, where they whisked me into a wheelchair right away.

That’s when the series of diagnostic tests took place. I had two spinal taps, blood work, etc. I had four different neurologists come down to put me through strength tests, like the sharp-soft test, where they break a toothpick in half and they ask you if you can tell the sharp side from the soft side. At this point, they were trying to diagnose me through a process of elimination. 

RELATED: THE SURPRISING REASON MOST PEOPLE GET CANCER

At first, they said, “Oh, you definitely have to spend the night”, then it was two nights, then three. Every day they would come back and say, “Oh, you don’t have AIDS”, and I’d think, “Great, this is wonderful. Wasn’t hoping for AIDS.”

But in all seriousness, AIDS is an autoimmune disease, which is what MS is, so its not too far off. They would say, “Oh, you don’t have lupus. We can rule out Lyme disease.” And so on, and so on

In the meantime, my doctors were trying to reduce my spinal swelling. Every day I got a little bit more feeling back, but there was still a lot I couldn’t feel.

Then after day four or five, doctors told me that I had transverse myelitis. A neurological disorder caused by inflammation of the spinal cord, transverse myelitis can be an initial indicator of multiple sclerosis, according to Kathleen Costello, vice president of healthcare access for the National MS Society. 

There’s no one test that can determine whether or not you have MS. It was the combined results from the MRI, the spinal tap, blood work, electrical tests, etc. (not to mention, my symptoms) that led my neurologists to that conclusion. By the time I got my diagnosis, I had already figured it would be something severe based on my symptoms. Despite that, I don’t think any young woman is ready to hear that she has MS.

RELATED: DO YOU HAVE A VITAMIN B12 DEFICIENCY? ANSWER THESE 5 QUESTIONS TO FIND OUT

I’ve been told the paralysis I experienced is one of the worst ways that MS can initially present itself. To put it in perspective, when some people are diagnosed with MS, their first symptoms are blurred vision or a lack of coordination or they have a little bit of numbness in their pinky finger, says Costello.

At the worst point, the paralysis had gone all the way up to the top of my ribcage, right below my bra line, and I felt a tightness, like someone was squeezing my ribs together, making it hard to breathe and hard to walk. That, I later found out, is called the MS hug, which is a common first symptom. For me to go from a person who is boxing and doing Crossfit and yoga classes seven days a week to not knowing if Id be able to walk again, was quite shocking.

Of those who suffer transverse myelitis, around 30 percent of them are never able to walk again, another 30 percent can walk with limited mobility and residual symptoms such as spastic gait and urinary urgency, and the last 30 percent get back, for the most part, full mobility. Thankfully, at the end of my recovery, I was in that last 30 percent, and now I’m walking and moving and working out and doing most of the things I used to be able to do.

However, I now live with permanent nerve damagea common side-effect of MS. Any time it gets above 75 degrees or there’s humidity in the air, I have tingling all up and down the back of my legs and my spinal cord. I have this thing called LHermitte. It’s this weird, residual effect that happens when you put your chin to your chest, like if I’m looking down at my phone or if I’m tying my shoe. I get a weird electronic sensation from my nerves misfiring down my back. The way that I best can describe the sensation is that it feels like there’s a vibrator on your back.

Today, I tire much more quickly and I can’t do workouts that are as strenuous as what I used to do. Sometimes I can’t wear heels for too long because Ill begin feeling numbness and tingling. Im still navigating the waters of my mobility, but Im just thankful to not be confined to a wheelchair and have feeling in both my legs.

I had another attack recently, which was much less severe and less traumatizing. I lost feeling in my left arm, but this time I knew what it was and I got on steroid treatment right away. Now I have most of my feeling back with minimal permanent damage. Today, I manage my disease by adhering to a very strict, clean diet, going for MRIs every few months and blood tests every couple weeks, and taking medication and/or seeing my doctor when another attack comes on.

Theres a common misconception that MS is like ALS or that it’s this degenerative, terminal thing, that I’m just going to keep getting worse and worse and there’s nothing to stop it. It seems so much worse than it is. What I’m learning is that you can have an attack and then not have another attack for 30 years; that’s very common. On the other hand, you can have five attacks in two years, which could be really bad and result in a lot of permanent nerve damage. There is a chance that I could be in a wheelchair five or 10 years from now, but that chance is very slim. My youth and the fact that Ive led such a healthy lifestyle have both helped me recover from attacks quickly so far.

For me, the hardest part of all this is the unknown. There is no cure, so I’m waking up every morning wondering if Im going to have another attack, or if today is going to be the day where five lesions pop up into my brain and I wont walk again.

Eighty percent of people diagnosed with MS are Caucasian females in their childbearing years. Learning that statistic was shocking, but in a way, I was comforted by itI feel less alone.

RELATED: ARE YOUR PERIODS IRREGULAR? YOU COULD HAVE THIS SYNDROME AND NOT EVEN KNOW IT

The one thing I want everyone to know is that I can still live my life with this disease. A lot of people dont realize thateven my own friends.

I’ve had friends talk badly about me, saying things like, Well, if shes so sick, hows she drinking on Saturday at a rooftop brunch? and wondering why I look perfectly normal.

Its hard to be open with people because I can see how they might think Im using my disease as an excuse when its convenient. But the reality is I have bad days and I have good dayssometimes I feel ready to take on the world and other days I cant physically get out of bed.

I think thats been one of the more difficult parts for me, dealing with other peoples perceptions and judgments. Whether they think Im dying or being dramatic, its impossible for them to understand what I and other people with MS go through, which leads to misconceptions.

I dont blame people for being confused, but at the same time, I’m not going to lie down and not do things. I’m still a 25-year-old living in New York City. I’m going to have fun. I still want to date and try to find a good guyeven though that situation now comes with a plethora of complications.

At the end of the day, Im learning to appreciate every moment. Yes, it would be great to not have MS, but Im very aware of how lucky I am that my case isnt more severe. Thats been my greatest take away from this experience: Dont take anything for granted.

This article originally appeared on WomensHealthMag.com.

The post What it’s like to be diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at age 25 appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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What it’s like to be diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at age 25

In February of 2015, after a busy weekend, I began feeling some tingling in the bottom of my feet. I thought that I was just sore from wearing heels, but within a few days, the numbness and tingling proceeded to go up my shins and into my knees and through my thighs. Id compare the feeling to when your foot falls asleep.

Although the sensation was getting more and more intense over the course of two or three days, I wasn’t super concerned. I thought that maybe my diet had played a role. I’m a very active person and I work in health and fitness PR, so I was just thinking, “Oh, maybe I’m not getting enough magnesium or something.”

After about five days of this feeling traveling inch by inch up my legs, I went to see my primary-care physician thanks to the advice of my sister, who’s a surgical nurse. My doctor quickly ordered an electromagnetic test (EMG) and an MRI to rule out meningitis, ALS, multiple sclerosis, and lymphoma. That’s when I started to get a little nervous.

The next day I went and got those tests done. By then, the numbness and tingling had become so severe that I almost couldn’t walkI could feel the pressure of the ground beneath me, but I was forcing my leg to move. By day seven, it was almost a state of complete paralysis.

The EMG was the first test and it began with them sticking needles all over my legs and then sending electromagnetic shocks through those needles to see how my nerves reacted. I’ll never forget it. The neurologist said I had severe swelling in my spinal cord, and ordered an immediate brain and spinal cord MRI.

When I was done with the MRI they said, “Go home, get some food because you’ve been in testing all day. Your doctor will likely call you and go over the results tomorrow or they’ll bring you in. Just relax.”

But within 10 minutes of me walking out of that place, my doctor called me and said, “I don’t mean to scare you but you need to stop whatever you’re doing right now and go into the ER. I just got your preliminary images and there’s a major, major area of swelling in your spinal cord. You need to seek treatment right away.” That was exceptionally terrifying. I thought that I was going to be able to relax and see what happens, but instead it was back to the ER, where they whisked me into a wheelchair right away.

That’s when the series of diagnostic tests took place. I had two spinal taps, blood work, etc. I had four different neurologists come down to put me through strength tests, like the sharp-soft test, where they break a toothpick in half and they ask you if you can tell the sharp side from the soft side. At this point, they were trying to diagnose me through a process of elimination. 

RELATED: THE SURPRISING REASON MOST PEOPLE GET CANCER

At first, they said, “Oh, you definitely have to spend the night”, then it was two nights, then three. Every day they would come back and say, “Oh, you don’t have AIDS”, and I’d think, “Great, this is wonderful. Wasn’t hoping for AIDS.”

But in all seriousness, AIDS is an autoimmune disease, which is what MS is, so its not too far off. They would say, “Oh, you don’t have lupus. We can rule out Lyme disease.” And so on, and so on

In the meantime, my doctors were trying to reduce my spinal swelling. Every day I got a little bit more feeling back, but there was still a lot I couldn’t feel.

Then after day four or five, doctors told me that I had transverse myelitis. A neurological disorder caused by inflammation of the spinal cord, transverse myelitis can be an initial indicator of multiple sclerosis, according to Kathleen Costello, vice president of healthcare access for the National MS Society. 

There’s no one test that can determine whether or not you have MS. It was the combined results from the MRI, the spinal tap, blood work, electrical tests, etc. (not to mention, my symptoms) that led my neurologists to that conclusion. By the time I got my diagnosis, I had already figured it would be something severe based on my symptoms. Despite that, I don’t think any young woman is ready to hear that she has MS.

RELATED: DO YOU HAVE A VITAMIN B12 DEFICIENCY? ANSWER THESE 5 QUESTIONS TO FIND OUT

I’ve been told the paralysis I experienced is one of the worst ways that MS can initially present itself. To put it in perspective, when some people are diagnosed with MS, their first symptoms are blurred vision or a lack of coordination or they have a little bit of numbness in their pinky finger, says Costello.

At the worst point, the paralysis had gone all the way up to the top of my ribcage, right below my bra line, and I felt a tightness, like someone was squeezing my ribs together, making it hard to breathe and hard to walk. That, I later found out, is called the MS hug, which is a common first symptom. For me to go from a person who is boxing and doing Crossfit and yoga classes seven days a week to not knowing if Id be able to walk again, was quite shocking.

Of those who suffer transverse myelitis, around 30 percent of them are never able to walk again, another 30 percent can walk with limited mobility and residual symptoms such as spastic gait and urinary urgency, and the last 30 percent get back, for the most part, full mobility. Thankfully, at the end of my recovery, I was in that last 30 percent, and now I’m walking and moving and working out and doing most of the things I used to be able to do.

However, I now live with permanent nerve damagea common side-effect of MS. Any time it gets above 75 degrees or there’s humidity in the air, I have tingling all up and down the back of my legs and my spinal cord. I have this thing called LHermitte. It’s this weird, residual effect that happens when you put your chin to your chest, like if I’m looking down at my phone or if I’m tying my shoe. I get a weird electronic sensation from my nerves misfiring down my back. The way that I best can describe the sensation is that it feels like there’s a vibrator on your back.

Today, I tire much more quickly and I can’t do workouts that are as strenuous as what I used to do. Sometimes I can’t wear heels for too long because Ill begin feeling numbness and tingling. Im still navigating the waters of my mobility, but Im just thankful to not be confined to a wheelchair and have feeling in both my legs.

I had another attack recently, which was much less severe and less traumatizing. I lost feeling in my left arm, but this time I knew what it was and I got on steroid treatment right away. Now I have most of my feeling back with minimal permanent damage. Today, I manage my disease by adhering to a very strict, clean diet, going for MRIs every few months and blood tests every couple weeks, and taking medication and/or seeing my doctor when another attack comes on.

Theres a common misconception that MS is like ALS or that it’s this degenerative, terminal thing, that I’m just going to keep getting worse and worse and there’s nothing to stop it. It seems so much worse than it is. What I’m learning is that you can have an attack and then not have another attack for 30 years; that’s very common. On the other hand, you can have five attacks in two years, which could be really bad and result in a lot of permanent nerve damage. There is a chance that I could be in a wheelchair five or 10 years from now, but that chance is very slim. My youth and the fact that Ive led such a healthy lifestyle have both helped me recover from attacks quickly so far.

For me, the hardest part of all this is the unknown. There is no cure, so I’m waking up every morning wondering if Im going to have another attack, or if today is going to be the day where five lesions pop up into my brain and I wont walk again.

Eighty percent of people diagnosed with MS are Caucasian females in their childbearing years. Learning that statistic was shocking, but in a way, I was comforted by itI feel less alone.

RELATED: ARE YOUR PERIODS IRREGULAR? YOU COULD HAVE THIS SYNDROME AND NOT EVEN KNOW IT

The one thing I want everyone to know is that I can still live my life with this disease. A lot of people dont realize thateven my own friends.

I’ve had friends talk badly about me, saying things like, Well, if shes so sick, hows she drinking on Saturday at a rooftop brunch? and wondering why I look perfectly normal.

Its hard to be open with people because I can see how they might think Im using my disease as an excuse when its convenient. But the reality is I have bad days and I have good dayssometimes I feel ready to take on the world and other days I cant physically get out of bed.

I think thats been one of the more difficult parts for me, dealing with other peoples perceptions and judgments. Whether they think Im dying or being dramatic, its impossible for them to understand what I and other people with MS go through, which leads to misconceptions.

I dont blame people for being confused, but at the same time, I’m not going to lie down and not do things. I’m still a 25-year-old living in New York City. I’m going to have fun. I still want to date and try to find a good guyeven though that situation now comes with a plethora of complications.

At the end of the day, Im learning to appreciate every moment. Yes, it would be great to not have MS, but Im very aware of how lucky I am that my case isnt more severe. Thats been my greatest take away from this experience: Dont take anything for granted.

This article originally appeared on WomensHealthMag.com.

The post What it’s like to be diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at age 25 appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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