#im tired of having episodes its so exhausting to be panicking for so many hours
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I woke up sometimes this week petting a cat, and I went to sleep with a cat purring in my face while lying on my chest too.
I was having a bad episode and I must have started passing out from the stress and panic but as I did I had a cat with me. I don’t own a cat.
Not my psychosis being like “Hol up. Ik I’m like terrorizing u but now I feel bad, here have a cat that you’ve been wanting for years.”
#tabby talks#The best thing about my psychotic episodes is when i pass out and no longer have to be in an extreme state of stress and terror#i mean I go into passing out sure that I’m abt to die but at least when I wake up its fine#every night I never know if ill be sleeping or if ill be having a panick attack for the next 3-5hrs#usually if im able to stay concious during an episode i wait until 5am to sleep when my dad wakes up so i know its safe for me to#im tired of having episodes its so exhausting to be panicking for so many hours#I wish i had a cat for real because I had any sort of pet at all i would know im fine bc it would react#i got nothin rn#All i can do is curl up under my blanket and wait for it to either stop. my dad wake up. or i pass out#Even worst sometimes i’ll go immediately into sleep paralysis after an episode#so sometimes im having a psychotic episode only to go into paralysis where i deal w more hallucinations#i dont see stuff i just feel things and thats anything#has a panick attack going to sleep only to wake up having a panick attack its great
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