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tarotnoob · 4 years ago

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hey!! May I request a reading please? I've been feeling unmotivated, tired and its like i lost interest in everything for a very long time now. I feel like disconnected from myself. i used to love meditating and doing tarot and lots of things but now i just dont have the strenght to do stuff. I dont know why I'm feeling like this and i dont really know what i should to feel better and get on track. Im very optimistic mentally tho but im just like lost. Thank you so much!!! I dont know much about astrology but in case you need them, my signs are aries sun, cancer rising, libra moon, pisces mercury, aries venus, taurus mars, cancer jupiter and saturn gemini. Thank you so much for your time and energy!! I hope you had a great start of the year!! have a nice day 💕 -juliet

hello, friend

it’s weird because i started with a different deck and didn’t feel satisfied with any cards, so i put that deck away and picked up this one. i actually still don’t feel satisfied and will probably grab a third deck. at one point i was like “i just don’t want to do this, i’ll get in bed and scroll on phone, do it tomorrow” but in the end, this may be a tiny bit how you feel.

before i forget. after looking over the cards, i went why the eff does gemini keep coming up but your saturn is in gemini, so you might want to peruse this link even if you aren’t that into astrology and see if anything resonates: https://www.sunsigns.org/saturn-in-gemini/

some of your “stuck” issues might have to do with the issues around that. your mars is also the area of “doing”... oddly your mars is conjunct mars right now. as in your mars is in taurus and mars is in taurus rn... i don’t know for how long you’ve been feeling this kind of mental haze or whatever, but sometimes the placement of the planets on your natal placements can have certain affects. and then the stuff within your own chart can speak of challenges - like, why am i feeling like i don’t have energy for anything? and then you look at some placement and it’s like “well if you don’t have one particular goal ahead, your energy gets all scattered, etc...” i’m just paraphrasing and i’m not an astrology expert but if something ever resonates when you do research, you can go oh... yeah i get like that... and then often there’s some suggestion for it.

however, tarot and such isn’t a replacement for any mental health concerns. you said you’re still feeling optimistic, but if you’re feeling depressed and have no interest anymore in things you liked and are even having physical issues of not wanting to get out of a bed, then i would probably speak with a professional. as that can be a sign of depression. but, you know, during the pandemic, my own mind has been all over the place. even doing all this spiritual WHATEVER, i’ve had my down moments... i certainly do very little rn because i can’t go anywhere or don’t have a real job and... so what i’m saying is there are lots of reasons to feel down lately, to not want tot do anything or to not have energy.

i felt more inclined to pull oracles... i’ll explain some meanings and we’ll try to piece something together because nothing hits me right off the bat... other than it seems to be a mental thing.

it’s interesting because i think your mars taurus means doing things at a slower, predictable pace... and while saturn in gemini is apparently a bit less chaotic than other things gemini could be in, gemini is a pretty wild, jack of all trades type of energy... so maybe you get bored easily despite your mars taurus...

manifest - my dreams help me manifest all that i need

destiny - my dreams show me that i am the co-creator of my life and destiny

networker: enhances unity through the sharing of info. engenders social awareness and empathy. negative: conveys info only for personal gain. spreads fear and falsehood.

self-worth - root/sacral chakra. this one’s obvious... it’s asking if you’re comparing yourself to others, to know your worth, how self love relates to success, etc...

full moon in gemini - this is about being true to yourself but also being mindful of your words so that you aren’t offending others... it’s also about being social... about using communication to resolve situations but mostly it seems to be to be mindful of what you say ig...

sauvage - this is again about being your authentic self, it also gives me gemini vibes again because it talks about your two sides, it talks about going back to the roots of who you are... being your wild self... and - to put it in normal words... it talks about what makes you feel like you’re predictable and then go do one or two things a day that are unpredictable... so maybe it speaks to you feeling a sense of monotony...

or maybe once you do something for so long it gets boring if there’s no real purpose to it and at the moment you don’t have much to do or haven’t for a while because of covid, so you’ve lost some sense of direction i guess...

for queen of the moon oracle - change, fruition, the void... i should probably look up those but i don’t really need to. change comes up a couple of times. even the sauvage mentioned change in the first sentence... and fruition is kind of like manifeset. void is... pretty obvious...

i still feel a sense that it’s just monotony... like void - nothing is happening, you’re bored... change - there’s no change happening or you need change to keep mentally stimulated... fruition - making things come to life/manifesting/making things happen. again i feel like maybe if you don’t have a clear goal with something you get bored and kinda spiral. you might have to find the next thing you’re interested in. it’s okay if you get bored of/grow out of tarot or spiritualism. honestly it can get boring or it can feel like you’ll never learn enough. if i hadn’t started this blog, i probably would have stopped out of boredom because i’d have felt i wasn’t going anywhere. and that’s why i opened up readings anyway because i was bored in my real life and needed purpose b/c i was starting to get depressed. and i’m not like a huge sack of sad bear... i mean i was sad b/c someone in my fam just died but even before then i had sad times...

lunar eclipse - change okay well this card is kind of like the five of cups which i think came out in the first deck i used... but this is about a shadowy time in life, it also warns of sudden, transformational changes. it’s also possible something happened (recently?) that was a huge change already and it’s thrown you off balance - or, ofc, one is up and coming but it usually ends up being for the best and, if so, it sounds like you’re in need of a shift anyway. it can do with anything, including a relationship... but it’s not gradual, it’s very sudden. this could also have to do with something being hidden or in the shadows or have to do with emotions, or even emotions on the subconscious level.

queen of my world - this deck is weird and scary but it goes deep so i wanted to use it. this card is kind of... the descriptions are very... abstract. but it’s kind of like taking ownership of your inner world or your own world... and drawing boundaries... like what’s out there doesn’t matter, in here it’s my world. and on the one hand this makes me think of queen of wands - being bold, direct... but on the other hand it makes me think of a pisces... like being or forcing yourself to be trapped in your own world and when anything outside reaches into it, stuff can get thrown off course. visually it definitely gives the sense of being empowered and may tie in to the self worth card.

maybe you associate self worth with something that’s not jiving right now - it could be anything, only you know. it could be money, success, friends, followers, looks, purpose, etc... so i kind of feel like not having a purpose/life path that you’re certain about or any stalls that got in the way of that purpose have led to a sort of stall/hanged man phase.

envious gluttony - so this card -for me- feels tied to void, lunar eclipse, full moon in gemini... maybe even queen of my world. because it talks about envy and such but it also talks about existential darkness.... this could be a sign of suppressing any ugly feelings. it keeps coming up about envy or talking about others, giving away secrets... so besides being bored, if there are any unconscious feelings related to a shift/change in your life or a relationship that can be adding to it and dragging down your self worth/confidence?

it can also be, like, this queen of my world makes me feel like a kinda scary, ugly place like in envious gluttony... and a lunar eclipse puts the moon in shadow. so more there’s some subconsicous/unconscious stuff going on, as well... and i do have a seven of swords hidden behind a king of pentacles at my back of deck. and i’m sure you know that’s like the card of lies/hidden stuff/bitterness... it can also be self preservation or taking everything on by yourself... so maybe there’s something weighing on you, like... something you feel responsible for.

it’s interesting because in terms of colors, there’s a lot of blue... then some green and purple. so this is throat, heart, crown chakra... if there’s something you need to speak... some blockage in the heart area with emotions... and crown is like a spiritual disconnection... so maybe something’s going on - since you specifically mentioned meditation and tarot that’s cut you off from that crown/spiritual point... and it seems to revolve around words/truth/authenticity and hurt around the heart, which can be... betrayal, disappointment, trust issues...

i would ask - okay what happened around the time i specifically lost interest in tarot/meditation... why did i stop this... were you like ok this is boring ... or did someone say something... did something happen to make you doubt why you did it at all... and then did that affect your interest in other things as well...

if you don’t feel like doing anything at all... i’d think there was a cause of some sort that made you feel like “why bother”

i’m going to clarify as i didn’t use my most super trusted deck... so i’ll clarify with that. it’ll make me feel better.

eight of swords kinda came out more reversed... and king of swords... page of pentacles... lovers... so an 8 and a 4... the oracles have a 1, 10/1, 9, 7, 8, 6

two sixes, two 1s, two 8s...

for ones - i think of the self. so... some self work... add a 10 and also there could be a cycle or a closing of a cycle i guess. sixes tend to be about home/family/love. 8s are personal power, measuring life by the goals one reaches.

since this isn’t a love reading - issue would likely have to do with a cycle with the self, home/family issues... and goals... six could be recognition/harmony too.

so i do think this - at the root - has to do with life purpose... and feeling stuck maybe... especially around a static home/love life or even close relationships feeling stagnant...

so two sword cards... one pentacle... and the gemini card...

again, pointing to a mental thing... with lovers also being about choice, harmony, communication, authenticity... also this king of swords makes me think of saturn. and the gemini card was there anyway... and when we talk about thinking/speaking... we tend to look at the mercury sign. it’s not like i KNOW anything but i guess having a pisces mercury means you aren’t... direct when talking, it’s kind of this... dreamy energy vs this sharp, direct energy... so again some issues around thinking/communication/authenticity... goals... originally eight of s and the page of p are reversed... when i read by elements and i see an air and earth next to each other and the pentacle is flipped... the issue is around the pentacle... and so for me, again this points to having a goal. as you know pentacles are tangible things... so a tangible goal or opportunity is what you need or what’s missing and is kind of causing this... stuck mental situation... like you’re overthinking about something... and that could be the source situation that happened to put you in a funk... and being near the lovers... it can be a relationship that went sour - friend or romantic... or it can be something that made you question who you are or your purpose... since lovers is just... authentic you... or purpose i guess... there could also be a communication block of some sort where you aren’t finding a way to communicate what you’re feeling or going through and that’s also causing a block... you don’t have a creative outlet to express something.

like... so i used to write about every day until around march of last year and suddenly i had to stay home and i can’t write at home i could only write anywhere not at home, usually starbucks so i’ve not written since last march really... and i no longer have a creative outlet i’ve had for about 20 years.... and i know i need that outlet to filter out emotions and express myself and i can only imagine how funked up i am for not having done that in ages...

and i used to write fanfic and never grew tired of it and then i just don’t feel like it anymore, i’m not even that into the fandom. i found another fandom...

but... it doesn’t fill some void or anything... and i’m still not writing for said new fandom...

point being you can feel okay... but not be having an outlet... and then after a while this sort of uselessness sets in and when you do nothing, you start to question what’s the point of being here or doing anything and blah.

it’s kind of like... so you hate getting up in the morning.... and you sleep til noon but when you have a job and you have to get up at 8 eventually you get used to it and as you’re getting ready and walking to work, you at least feel like la la i have a purpose and this isn’t so bad. but then you quit the job and you sleep til noon and have nothing to do and suddenly you feel like crap but if you still feel super confident, then good on you and that’s another story.

a page of p reversed can also indicate a lack of ambition, enthusiasm, drive... but again i just see a mental block... and the mental block which is probably self imposed is causing the lack of ambition... and the major arcana as the lovers - in this non love reading - for me points to... the throat chakra/authenticity/communication/expressing one’s true nature...

and so it’s basically a chain reaction and all connected to having a purpose. and i guess spiritually one could say that your spirit is reacting to being disconnected from your soul purpose... because you might be off the soul purpose rail...

and even if you don’t feel there was a cause to all this - an origin story - ... maybe it’s deeper than you think, some subconscious root somewhere... or sure it’s in your chart... but i definitely get the sense of a lot of “hidden/shadow” and yeah that makes me think... shadow wooooooooooork.

so if you need a goal... you might consider making a chart about how to do some shadow work or... write down what you think ur soul/life purpose is and what are the steps (career? hobby?) that put you closer to that path... and you might start to automatically align. i suggest finding ways to communicate how you feel even if you have to force it... blogging, journal, forum... therapy... talking to friends. the networker was here right... so you might feel disconnected from your social network... or maybe too much social media has put you in a funk... or maybe you need to connect more with people to feel your purpose again.

i would say... try to find small things that make you feel a spark of joy when you think about them and then go do that... and motivate yourself to do small things that are in line with your purpose? if that’s writing or... social media-ing... there’s definitely a sense of expressing things that are hiding and that may relieve some of the mental/anxiety/what’s its... even if you don’t think anything’s wrong... just... sit and explore because maybe it’s hidden, even from you.

ok so eight of swords clarified by magician. once again (virgo) gemini energy and the idea of communication since both are ruled by mercury. i think this also fits with the 8os idea of having the power to release yourself from that mental entrapment... like you’re the one most putting yourself into that... mind prison.

king of swords clarified by 9 of cups... so it could be wish, emotional contentment... i guess i’d read this as you having the power to create your own wishes/dreams/create your own happiness... i also see this a bit as life purpose as well... like being able to make your own dreams come true... page of p is clarified by queen of pentacles - a nurturing, grounded, practical person, who’s also good at creating their own (material) resources. lovers clarified by king of cups, fool, emperor. back of deck ace of wands reversed, sun tower justice.

lovers... we have something new coming in around taking risks... we also have emperor taking control, organization, goals... and king of cups... those are all really strong cards... i feel like this kinda reminds me of what the cards always tell me, that i’m perfectly capable of this whole wonderful like... success and having my shit together but i need to take a risk and allow a change to come in...

it’s possible you know what you should be doing or what you want to do but there’s some blockage, possibly because it would require taking a risk so there could be a fear of failure, a fear of change, or even a fear of success or... reaching a finish line of some sorts... i do feel there may be a hard change coming in to shock you. tho sometimes the universe does this when we aren’t listening or we’re in a rut or we keep going down the wrong path and then it forces us back onto the path we’re supposed to be on but sometimes that hurts a lot >.>

with magician and emperor, king of cups and queen of p coming out. like you definitely have a very strong life purpose here...

maybe mentally that’s kinda hard to accept because, well, it’s responsibility and expectations and. j;j; fdajf; i relate.

so i feel like you have a choice to step into this sort of role if you want to but something freaked you out ig and now you’re kinda dwelling inside your mind which might be an ugly place rn, full of self doubt and.... fear... i dunno.

but you’re perfectly capable of pulling yourself out IF you want to...

and the way out seems to be around... maybe expressing it... maybe speaking it into existence hence the manifestation, embracing your purpose... because it’s your destiny... i think everyone has a shadow period before they fully accept their destiny/purpose and we sort of wallow around wondering if this really is our purpose or if we’re being self indulgent. maybe you started doubting whether tarot even works or the meditation is working since you started losing interest... or nothing was changing, you’re not seeing your manifestation results and such.

i was just going through that period and am now so maybe something in the planets really is kinda... messing with us...

but i think soul searching and questioning is part of the process...

hopefully you find something that pulls you out i would say... try something else that interests you that also is in line with what you enjoy or want to do... maybe a skill that would be beneficial to you and what you do. or something that’s just fun and of interest? but if you don’t make the change the universe will probably do it for you and it might not be pleasant...

hope that helps

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yahooyellow · 7 years ago

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Losing your Witchy Spark - and getting it back.

Warning - This is a long post.

For days, weeks, even months you might feel unmotivated to practice. Thats okay.

My witchcraft can feel off and on, and there are times where I haven't casted a spell or read a witchy book in a week. I lose my witchy touch, my spark. The passion I have for witchcraft. Despite all of this, I am still a witch.

What is a witchy spark?

The fuel to practice, motivation, desire. Involving yourself into your practice consistently and whole heartedly. Feeling the magic run through you, but sometimes this motivation is lost.

How do we lose our spark?

Our ability to practice is affected by everything around us. Closeted witches, low spoon witches, witches with mental illness and witches going through life issues. All of these affect our craft.

We feel overwhelmed, lost, tired, and exhausted. We no longer feel our magic, or the desire to cast. This doesnt mean we do not want to be a witch, but that at the time we simply feel like we lost our touch.

Sometimes we get so caught up in life that we even forget about witchcraft.

We are still witches.

Beginners, don't be afraid to put life first. Things can get hectic, and at times you might have to put aside your craft to take care of yourself and others. You are still a witch.

Pictured above is part of my altar that I just set up yesterday after having been moved in for months. I have been feeling overwhelmed by school, my mental illness, and my family to a degree that made practicing witchcraft difficult. I lost my spark and did not practice for months. Slowly, im gaining my motivation to practice again.

Here are some things that can help.

• Looking at tumblr - this might sound basic, but it can really help. Looking at low spoon spells and other witches doing their thing can really help

• Downloading other witchy apps - Amino offers many witchcraft groups such as "Pagans and Witches", that feature lots of spells, chatrooms, and a good community. You can find other apps like tarot decks and runes to help spark some simple practice.

• Picking up an easy book - Skimming through easy to read books can help motivate one to slowly easing themselves back into their witchcraft. Pictured above are some books with spells in an easy bullet point format as well as information that's easy to read. Supermaket Sabbats really helped me feel motivated to begin reading more witchy books again. (The other book is The Good Witch's Guide).

• Doing a daily card pull - Or even just being near your deck. Sleeping with it, shuffling it and doing one card pulls help build confidence and desire to beginning spreads. (Deck pictured above is the Linestrider's Tarot).

• Sit at your altar - Or somewhere you feel at peace and connected to with your magic. This is calming and can help you when you feel overwhelmed. Just taking a break and meditating at your altar is magic.

• Take a bath - Something simple, even if its just lighting a candle, using a bathbomb, or listening to music. Use it as a time to cleanse yourself, and wash the negativity off. Making a clean slate.

• Always take care of yourself - Even if its hard, even if you want to devote yourself entirely to magic or anything else, take care of yourself. Put your life first. You will still be a witch.

Whether you're a baby witch, an old witch, a closeted witch, or an open witch, we all lose motivation at some point. We also always get it back. We are always witches.

I hope this post helps you into transitioning back into practice if you ever lose your spark.

(All pictures are mine - stickers are from PicsArt)

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