#im the oldest front of house night shift worker
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just got such a strong urge to end it all im
#tw self harm#tw suicide#like..i cut myself#and then i was just sitting here thinking#dude im 23 ok#and i work night shift at my workplace so a lot of the staff is way younger than i am#im the oldest front of house night shift worker#anyway#that means some of the people who care about me most are like. 16#7 years younger than i#and I'm pretty sure the guy id been talking to almost said (he stopped halfway through the sentence)#something abt how sad it is that the 16y/os are the ones who care about me most#and i was thinking abt it just now#and god. i could end it and none of them would know#they wouldnt know!!#so?????? i could#they'd suspect it ig#tbh the ones i care about are my cats#like. human people might be upset but would at least know what had happened#my cats wouldn't know!!!!#they'd just be sad that i was gone and feel abandoned!! with no clue what had happened!!!!!!!#:(#i speak#self h@rm
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