#im terrible at making work connections and lowkey maybe I'll always be unsuccessful and not reaching my full potential because of it
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Engaging in escapist fantasies by looking at Masters degree programs
Systemics and evolution... Fine arts.... I want to go back to school so bad... If I didn't have to work and could just focus on learning, researching, experimenting, producing.... I wish i could i wish i could I WISH I COULD!!!!
#I have to wait for my partner to be a permanent resident and get settled#and then for him to go and do his degree and find and follow his own dream#and then find a job he loves#and then i can go#and I'll be 48 years old :)#i just wish!!!#i could go back to school#i love school#but i cant afford to go back#student loans wouldn't be enough to support me the way it was back then#and I'm too socially inept to do the social networking required to become a really good grad student#im terrible at making work connections and lowkey maybe I'll always be unsuccessful and not reaching my full potential because of it#i just hate STAGNATING#but its not forever#hopefully soon my partner can work and be confirmed a permanent stay here and we can stop surviving and start building a future#its hard because when you dont make enough to pay your bills you cant really focus on anything else#if he gets a job i could reduce my hours a bit and focus on my other passions#i was much happier when i was working to fund a Good Life and not just Stay Alive#a Good Life in the philosophical sense#i want to feel Fulfilled
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