#im tagging her cuz i dunno if she's technically under the ''team'' umbrella

[tf2fansderogatory]

muppets team fortress two. whos who

okokok hi i'm awake from my slumber did someone say muppets. i have some thoughts

scout is rizzo the rat because small weird man with a lot of siblings. what else do you want me to say. i'm right

medic is miss piggy because, and i'm quoting bungus here, "that bitch is glamorous"

demo is rowlf the dog because you can't tell me that rowlf wouldn't be the ultimate drinking buddy, also the fact that they both play piano is just too perfect, this was one of my two immediate thoughts when i first saw this ask. other one was rizzo scout obviously

PYRO IS BEAKER. pyro is beaker. i don't need to explain this one

on that same thought track of pyro as beaker, engie is dr. bunsen honeydew, the concept of pyro being his lab buddy is something i've always loved and this plays directly into that concept. also honeydew would 100% do something like removing his own arm to give himself a mechanical prosthetic. they're both madlads is what i'm saying

i originally thought of sam eagle when considering soldier because america but no, aside from the america thing he's nothing like soldier. soldier is animal. what are you gonna do about it

look i dunno how to articulate how well sniper matches up with gonzo. they both dress like weird uncles, they're both lanky motherfuckers, they're both widely accepted by the transmasc community as "goals," they're just. you cannot fight me on this because i am not listening

i originally thought spy might be hard to place but then i remembered pepe the king prawn and i was like oh this is easy. scheming little bitch with a propensity for making innuendos. the only thing that doesn't match up here is that pepe has a really casual style of dress but if you put him in a suit then he's literally spy

oh shit i'm already at the last merc. uhm. man i'm honestly having trouble placing heavy, i think...just based on vibes alone i'd probably go with fozzie bear for him, he was my first thought because Obvious Bear Joke but then i thought more about it and i was like. yknow. fozzie's struggles to write jokes and just communicate in general kinda connects well with heavy's struggles to communicate in english as opposed to his native tongue of russian, like i feel like they're both guys who'd be understood a lot better if they just knew the right way to say something if that makes sense? i'm looking too deep into this though i'm sure most people will just be satisfied that i'm fulfilling the Obvious Bear Joke requirement lol

okay last one. i was originally frustrated that i couldn't pin anybody down as being kermit but then i had the brain blast that miss pauling would absolutely be kermit. they both serve the role of kinda being like the straight-man mediator that's also willing to participate in the shenanigans from time to time, like go listen to miss pauling's contract voice lines and tell me she doesn't fit that description

anyway thank you for this ask!! i haven't had this much of an urge to write about the funny teufort people in a hot minute so this was nice heehee