#im sure this was a way longer answer than you expected nonnie

[winxwannabe]

why do you hate the netflix show? i'm genuinely curious, as my wife adores it and was also a huge fan of the animated series growing up.

I mean the TL:DR of it is I just think it's a bad show. I found the pacing strange, I didn't like half the characters so it was hard to root for them, Season 1's plot was so awkwardly paced it was boring, but in Season 2 there were like 3 different plot points per episode and I found them hard to get invested in. The LONG answer: my 3 biggest problems with the show were (!):

The blatant racism/whitewashing

This is pretty self-explanatory and I've gone over it before , so I'll keep it brief; the show's whitewashing was the biggest turnoff for me. Musa and the fake out Flora (because Eliot Sal WAS originally Flora, hope whoever made that change got a bonus) were awful, and then the treatment of Dane and Aisha's characters sucked (being taken advantage of by Riven and turning into a huge asshole, and Aisha being turned into Bloom's life coach). We got a little more diversity in Season 2, but by then it read more as a response to backlash than anything else. Same with Dane and Aisha; Aisha gives a little speech in Season 2's first episode where she says she's done being Bloom's life coach, and then proceeds to get a boyfriend who's secretly evil and lies to her all season. And Dane acts like an asshole for 2 scenes before he's shoved to the side as a supporting character.

2. Homophobia

Again, recap from my last rant; Season 1 was very straight. The Bloom/Sky/Stella love triangle took center stage, the only non-straight character was Dane, who I'm 90% sure was bisexual but we'll never know because not once in Fate: The Winx Saga does anyone say the word 'bisexual.' The closest we get is Dane saying he finds both Riven and Stormy Beatrix hot. But Dane, Riven, and Beatrix turn into this awful polyamory thing that goes on for like an episode and a half before it breaks up, and it's never spoken of again. Season 2 gives up an openly lesbian character, Terra, but her love interest (a female specialist whose name I don't remember) is in her own on-again-off-again relationship. Terra and the girl do get together, but last the audience knew the relationship was on! So Terra gets a girlfriend, but said girlfriend is a cheater. Gay rights? oh, and #JusticeforFrancesa

Those are the serious reasons, and with those out of the way I would argue the other really big reason I didn't like Fate was

3. THERE IS NO FRIENDSHIP

At the end of the day you can take away magic, the Specialists, and a lot of supporting characters from the show because the core of it - the reason Winx Club works so well - is because these six girls are best friends. The show is about them going through school and breakups and universe-saving together, and kicking ass at it because they have each others back. It is the show's central theme, it's where the best writing is, and where some of its best moments come from (for me at least).

Fate...does not do that. They started the series out making Sky the one to show Bloom around Alfea and introduce her to things instead of Stella, sidelining one of the strongest friendships in the series for the sake of a love triangle. And it only goes downhill from there! I get the whole 'take an episode or two to figure out where we stand as friends' but by the end of the 1st season these bitches are still fighting over the dumbest shit! We start out Season 2 with Stella using invisibility spells again so she's not seen with the other girls - I don't even think Stella likes any of them by the end of the series! Sure everyone goes to classes and plans dangerous missions to save the world together, but outside of that it doesn't seem like they even like each other. There are moments sprinkled throughout where they're supposed to be genuine friends, and they're easily some of fate's best stuff (the car scene in 2x01 is an example). But they're also awkward, because 20 minutes ago they were sulking in their rooms and yelling at each other about their lack of communication. They aren't deserved is the point I'm trying to get at here, and the only way they do feel deserved is if you a) already know their friendship dynamic because you watched the animated series, or b) you follow the actors on social media, where they actually talk and hang out like best friends.

The strongest friendship in this entire series isn't any of the girls - it's fucking Sky and Riven. Because they were pre-established best friends, had arguments throughout season 1, but by the end of season 2 had come back together because the world was in danger, and they both knew despite everything, that they would have each other's backs. Do you know how badly you have to fuck up, where one half of your best friendship is the queerphobic, predatory asshole character, and the other half is a slice of untoasted Wonder Bread?

Do you know how mad Riven would have been if Sky went to not-Omega with Bloom in the season 2 finale? He would have been fucking pissed and ordering everyone to a classroom to give his 30-slide power point on how to get them back within 3 days. Meanwhile Bloom doesn't actually say goodbye to the Winx girls, she just writes them letters and says goodbye to Sky in person (because it is well established that Bloom and Sky's romance is more important than the girl's friendship, let's be honest). And then girls are all hugging and Stella's crying that Bloom's gone and I just thought 'you spent more time with Beatrix than Bloom this season Stella, why the fuck are you sad.'

This is all a longwinded way to say the central theme of friendship was pushed aside for CW-style romance, which made the core cast of girls unable to connect, which made the show bad.

Fate had the same overall runtime as a single season of Winx Club. Later seasons are bad, don't get me wrong, but those original 2004-2007 seasons had twice the character moments, more concise plots, and felt way more fun than anything I saw Brian Young put out these last few years. I would watch an original season (and even season 4! sue me!) any day over Fate the W inx Saga.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, and probably don't show your wife this.

[kotofvi]

Mobile Rules

Important Notes

My mini-muse navigation on the main bagel has links to individual bios! I did this so you can get a preview on my fucks and see if you're interested, if so then you can check out their full bio! Please note the trigger warning tags before the bios. Though not all of them will have them and some will have more than others, I make it a point to put these warnings above whatever bio needs them so you have ample warning before reading them. The links in the mobile version of the bagel are for mobile bound users! I try to make my bagels as accessible as possible!

Please specify what muse you want. If you're not sure or are indecisive, that's alright! Just please tell me "Random" and I will give you a random muse! However, if you don't tell me what muse you want or tell me to give you a random one, I get anxious because I'm not sure which one of my fucks you'd like to write with and worry if I'm writing up something for the wrong muse. So please, please, specify a muse or "Random" so we can avoid all that mess.

Since I've had this problem several times before across all my other bagels: If I've written you multiple starters and you haven't responded to a single one of them, I will not write you anymore. That is just.. Unreasonable. I will legitimately write you a starter for every single muse and you can pick and choose which ones you want to reply to, so to reply to none and then ask for another one? It just really gets under my skin and makes me question whether or not its my writing or if you just have no interest. I will rewrite a starter for you if you didn't like the one you got, no problem! So please, instead of leaving me on read, tell me if you want a different muse or a new starter. I really don't mind at all. But do not just ghost me and not tell me anything then expect me to write you more. That's just rude af, mate.

Tagging system: N.SFW = Kettledrums // (I tag everything with ___ //) If you need anything specific tagged and I don't tag it, please let me know and I'll mark it down to tag in the future!

Non-Mutuals

Since I’ve had some troubles in the past about non-mutual starlings still liking starter calls or the like, I feel its necessary to address this issue first.

My lovely starlings, I will always adore you and I will come into your inbox all the time. I will send you Nonnies and HC questions. I appreciate and adore you very much! However, if I didn’t follow you back its likely because of very few reasons: 

★ I want to keep my dash neat and organized and I can’t follow you (in good conscious because I will likely unfollow you soon after) if the content spread of your bagel is a bunch of varying things that I personally wouldn’t want on my dash or have no use for. 

★  Your character is wonderful but I don’t think they could really interact well with my muse in a sense of actually interacting and not in a sense of different fandoms or the like. No, our muses don’t have to get along for us to interact but if your muse isn’t my cup of tea– Well I can’t see us interacting. 

★ Our writing won’t work well together. I read a handful of threads when I go to check out your bagel and if I feel our writing won’t work well together, I can’t follow you because I don’t want to be the asshole who follows you then never interacts with you.

★  If I have no interest in writing with your muse I won’t follow you because, again, I really don’t want to be that asshole who follows but never interacts.  

None of this is personal, okay? I love all you beautiful starlings and I really do appreciate you so much! You’re not too OOC (may I direct you to my constant bagel situation? Look at all that endless OOC.) You’re not a bad writer. You’re not anything bad at all! These are just my preferences! 

This doesn’t mean we can never talk or interact, though! But here’s the rule of thumb:

★  Please do not send me asks or the like with Memes that aren’t relative to drabbles or HCs. Please do not send me asks or the like with inquiry to thread! I don’t want to have to tell you no, I’m really really bad at saying no, okay? And when I don’t say no, but I want to say no, I end up dropping threads and then no one feels good. Which is really not okay because I don’t want either of us not havin’ a good time!

Following

I take great measures to check your bagel out! I’ll read your writing, check all your pages and I’ll basically stalk your bagel for a bit before I decide on following you or not. 

Please note though: Sometimes I can take a while to get to checking you out! This is because tumblr doesn’t notify me, I’m too busy working or I didn’t see the number change concerning my followers! Typically I’ll post when I’m checking new starlings out though! 

If you’re going to follow me, please note that I do tag everything as extensively as possible. If you need something tagged with a custom tag, please let me know! I’ll take care of it! 

Tagging in general: I always tag all forms of NSFW (Nudity, Violence, etc) as “Kettledrums //“  and I always tag Water, Blades, Eye contact, Scars and other things as “water //” etc.

Unfollowing

If I unfollow you, don’t come at me asking why. Don’t come at me interrogating me for reasons as to why I unfollowed you. If we’re close friends or if we’ve always been following each other and suddenly I’m not following you, then yes, please IM me because I’m p sure that tumblr fucked up somewhere there.

But if not? Don’t come at me with that please. I am a very anxious person and I really don’t want to have to deal with that. 

The same goes for you unfollowing me though! I won’t come at you for it! Its your decision who you follow, not mine! I understand completely and you do you sugar! 

Threads

My threads vary in length but generally they tend to get long all on their own. Even if it starts off with just a sentence or something, it usually evolves into paragraphs within a few replies. 

I don’t mind length matching. You don’t have to match my length and you definitely don’t have to try to make it longer just to keep up. I want you to have fun writing and if you can only give me two paras on a three or four para reply, that’s fine. However, if I’ve given you six paragraphs and you only give me one, I’m likely to lose interest in the thread unless I’m told that you’re having writer’s block or something.

The reason for that is because when the reply length drops that dramatically, it makes me feel as though you have no interest in it. If I think you don’t have any interest in it, I’m not going to make you continue it. If you want to drop a thread with me, let me know! We can always have a thousand threads and only ever really do two of them. I mean, it happens a lot pfft. 

The point is: Relax. Threads are meant to be fun after all! 

Muse

PLEASE DO NOT EQUATE ME TO MY MUSE. However, whatever similarities may arise between us: I AM NOT MY MUSE. Anything they may do or say is not necessarily supported by me. 

Shipping

I am multi-ship but I ship on chemistry. We can talk about shipping our muses all day long though! If you wanna ship with me, let me know! Just kick my inbox door down and say “HEY FUCKFACE LETS SHIP” and I will be down for discussing it! 

Shipping is not just Romantics here either. Platonic ships such as Familial, Best friends, etc. Hateful ships too. There’s various ways to ship, romanticism isn’t the only way. 

If you drop your ship with me, that is perfectly alright and I understand completely. Sometimes things change somewhere along the line and the ship doesn’t work anymore! 

Please note: ANY UNDERAGE MUSE / MUN WILL NOT BE INCLUDED IN ANY NSFW / SMUT WRITING. I will not write it with my underage muses and I definitely will not with underage muns, I do not wanna go to jail, thank you.

Personal

Don’t come here with any Anti bullshit. If you follow me and you’re an Anti, I’ve probably already blocked you. I don’t allow unneeded drama and bullshit here and I will protect anyone who follows me from it by keeping that shit off my bagel.

If you send me anon hate or anti ask bullshit, I will report and block you. NO ANTIS ALLOWED HERE. I’m not down with that life and this is a NO DRAMA ZONE. You bring it here, you’re INSTANTLY BLOCKED. I won’t answer you, I won’t respond nor react– I’ll just delete it, block you, report you and move on. Ain’t no one got time for that.  Beyond that: I welcome you with open arms!

The general Do(s)

★  Message me if you are interested in my muse! 

★  Send me memes when I reblogged them! 

★  Tag / Mention me in anything! 

★  Ship with me! If there’s chemistry, I am down! Even if it’s unrequited or anything of that sort! I mean, dang, ship in platonics! Do the thing my friend!

★ Ask me anything your little heart desires, even if it’s just some help or advice you need! 

★ Like/Reblog my roleplays if you are involved in it!

★  Send headcanons or drabble prompts! I’d love to hear them and hell, will probably accept them! 

★  Interact with me even if you’re from another fandom! 

★  Interact with me even if you’re an OC! 

★  Interact with me even if you’re a multiblog!

★  Interact with me! Just do it friend! I do not bite!!

The general Don’t(s)

★ Attempt to write smut with me if you are underaged. Mun is above 18 and would really rather not go to jail!

★  Expect me to follow you back once you followed me! Truly, I usually do follow back, but I also take the time to read every page on someone’s blog to see if I’m interested! It wouldn’t be fair to anyone if I just followed them back and never interacted with them due to lack of interest! Not to say that your muse(s) aren’t great, they’re just not my cup of tea!

★  Expect me to be my muse.

★  Expect me to solve every problem on my own. If we’re interacting with each other and run into a problem, I want to be able to communicate with you and solve it together! While I am an agile problem solver, I can’t do it on my own because it risks upsetting you by accident if I do something wrong! 

★  Assume I’ll ship with you just because I’m Multiship. I am multiship, but I ship upon chemistry! 

★  Guilt trip me into replies! I do them as quickly as I can and I try my very best! Please do poke at me if you feel I’ve missed it, but don’t give me hell for it, okay?

★  Message me and corner me into doing something I’m uncomfortable with. While I’m pretty laid back and am up for just about anything, if I express that I’m uncomfortable, please respect that! 

★  Bring me unneeded drama! I’m here to have fun, not bitch at people over the net, y'know?

★ Bring your “Anti” bullshit here. I’m not about that life.

Credits

Main images on this bagel by by Len-Yan.

THANK YOU FOR READING!! ❤

[sometimesrosy]

rosy, I realized I made it sound like my parents are abusive but they're really not. they're incredibly supportive of what I want to do in life and help me a lot. bc of my anxiety, I can't always see clearly so I appreciate them being realistic anchors. it's just too much sometimes. it's just in some instances like this, im flabbergasted at their behavior and don't know how to handle it. i think it's partly cause they're from such a patriarchal society (they're Asian) that that's all they know.

Okay, nonny, sorry it took me so long to get to this, it was really too long and complicated for me to answer, so I’m leaving out the actual asks and just speaking generally, to your final statement. (sorry guys, the longer an ask is the harder it is for me to answer)

It sucks. We are born into our families the way they are and we inherent their dysfunction. It sounds like, not only is your family coming from a traditional patriarchal society but it’s also been damaged by some abusive parenting in the past. Your parents learned how to parent from their parents, and you ay your grandma was abusive. This is a cycle of abuse. Even if your family isn’t as toxic or your parents aren’t as bad as your grandmother, you’re all still feeling the effects of that.

Your family is supportive of you, and yet they are still gas lighting you about what has happened and constantly undermining your sense of reality by calling you over sensitive and over reacting, while validating your brother for doing the same. Yeah. Sucks. Your family comes out of a patriarchal culture, and I don’t know if that’s the Asian part or the western part or a combination. It doesn’t actually matter because there it is.

From what I read, you aren’t delusional or wrong. But you’re also not going to change them. At least not from where you are. I don’t think. I don’t know, if I were in your shoes I’m not sure I would have the energy to. Because I would have other things I’m working on, like getting ready for grad school, thinking about my dreams, working on my anxiety, spending time on things I like to do. I’d spend more time on myself, my self esteem, my goal. And recognize that my family was a part of who I am, but not the whole of who I am.

How do you deal with a not so great situation when you are not ready to leave or move on? You get your ducks in a row. Save your money. Get ready for grad school. Do what you need to where you are. If you want to avoid confrontation? I don’t know, avoid it. It saps your energy to always fight, and wanting to seek justice when your parents live in a world where this injustice is the way it’s supposed to be is exhausting. But you are gearing up for a life where it  ISN’T. Give your attention to that future.

I’d work on setting boundaries. Make sure you get to spend time with your friends. That the things you think are important are taken care of, while also working with your parents to take care of the things THEY think are important. You don’t have to agree on women’s roles in society or what your future is going to look like. You have a right to your feminism and identity even if they don’t agree.

I know, from discussions I’ve had with students from immigrant Chinese families that they have a different idea of familial responsibility than many of us have in the west, and that can be a conflict for a person who has grown up in western culture. I’m not sure how to deal with that. Pretty sure your relationship with your family is pretty strong from what you say, even with your struggles, and it’s going to last even when you are out living on your own without the daily expectations, and juggling your concept of yourself with their expectations is going to be a continuing part of your life, even when you have more power over your daily life and interactions.

I hope this helps. I don’t feel like there is a simple answer to give you that will solve things. So I just want to validate your concept of self and independence and acknowledge your complicated struggle with your family.