#im still never getting divorced like they got divorced tho. 💀

[classiccowboy]

instagram j.b.

summary: follow along with joe and his WIFE evie as they go through his football career.

*face claim is yasmin quintana*

series masterlist.

liked by bengals, joeyb_9, and 983,729 others…

evie: honeymoon avenue.

view all 4,738 comments…

user: i love you guys together!

> evie: 💗💗

user: am i the only one that doesn’t like her?

> millyg: it’s the jealousy in you.

> user: i don’t see how anyone can’t like her, she’s so nice!

user: yikes

joeyb_9: no complaints, probably the best avenue out there.

> evie: thanks for your input, i totally agree.

> millyg: gtfo you guys 🤣

joeyb_9

liked by evie, lahjay10_, and 902,519 others

joeyb_9: we will send a post card.

view all 5,739 comments…

user: nooooo that’s two times in a row he’s posted ev

> user: they are literally married now, she’s not going anywhere.

user: in his *husband* era

user: i can’t stomach this

millyg: still mad i got left at home.

> user: i don’t like them together, im not jealous or anything something just feels off.

> user: i think that means your jealous.

evie: the views were 10/10

> joeyb_9: i was only looking at you.

> lahjay10_: 🧀🧀🧀

evie

liked by joeyb_9, millyg, and 810,826 others

evie: some small things…🤍

view all 3,738 comments…

user: i’m SO single

user: she doesn’t have to rub it in

user: NOT THE PRETTY GIRL. ladies he is everything..

user: if he wanted to he would

millyg: not joes failed cursive attempt

> evie: it wasn’t TERRIBLE 🤣

user: being with joe burrow is this girls whole personality

joeyb_9: the prettiest pretty girl.

> evie: 😭💗

user: so when are we expecting the divorce?

user: take notes fellas

user: joe and ev being so taylor coded makes me sick

> evie: swifties are superior, even if jb likes to pretend he isn’t one.

joeyb_9

liked by obj, evie, and 1,785,002 others

joeyb_9: had the basketball versus football convo too many times

view all 2,372 comments…

user: low key forgot you weren’t just some guy from cincinnati

> evie: THE guy from cincinnati

obj: Da boyyyyyyyy

user: tough. basketball tho

> evie: wrong answer. 😭

user: Joey B is A list now

evie: it was so nice of you to take photos with a few fans today.

> joeyb_9: 😎

> user: ev is coming for those opps

user: not him hanging with obj

user: such a weeb

evie

liked by millyg, joeyb_9, and 1,037,927 others

evie: went to something called a white party?

view all 2,801 comments…

user: you win

user: he actually took you with him?

> evie: i actually got invited to come with him.

> user: standing on business.

user: YOU MISSED TAYLOR FOR THIS?????

> evie: marriage is about sacrifice.

joeyb_9: 🥵🥵🥵

user: this is everything

user: that joe pic is my new background thanks

> evie: charity work is my passion.

user: i keep coming back to look at this post

user: second pic sent me into cardiac arrest.

> evie: you should’ve seen it in person.

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, lahjay10_, and 710,991 others

joeyb_9: “It’s time to go mobile.”

view all 3,729 comments…

user: YESSIR

lahjay10_: My step brother

> evie: hell yeah

user: do you want my mobile phone number

> evie: he doesn’t have a mobile phone.

> user: you are so funny mrs. burrow. 🤣💀

> user: why are you always so rude?

> user: she isn’t rude, but she’s always going to let us know that’s her man. don’t play like you wouldn’t do the same thing if random girls were coming at your bf with this kind of shit.

> user: i agree, she isn’t being rude but she’s never really let people show blatant disrespect for their relationship. even when they were in college.

tylerboyd: levels

> evie: BIG LEVELS

evie: you’re so hot. there is said it.

joeyb_9: 🪞

user: return of shiesty

user: YEAH BABYYYY

evie

liked by bengals, lahjay10_, and 810,003 others

evie: volume 4. 🤍🧡🖤

view all 2,761 comments…

user: you’re special

user: do you ever get sick of having to pretend to be interested in football?

> evie: never pretending.

user: he needs a tall blonde that has a brain.

> evie: my masters in marketing is offended.

user: i’m so excited to see the team smash it this year!

joeyb_9: very big fan of this.

> evie: your sunnies really tie it together.

> user: not you sharing sunnies. 😭

user: i love ev truly, but im also jealous of her.

> evie: i’m not sure what to say here. 🤣💗

joeyb_9

liked by evie, bengals, and 789,524 others

joeyb_9: Mask off.

view all 2,751 comments…

user: clothes off

> evie: the clothes will stay on. (for now) 🤪

user: Burrow is back!

user: solid W

evie: put the mask back on, i can’t think straight.

> joeyb_9: keep it on all night?

> user: i wish i could unsee this

> user: joe. please. this has to stop.

user: i’ll never quit you.

evie’s instagram stories:

a/n: hiiii. i’m going to finish this series up in the next post so i can work on some of the other requests i have. if you guys are interested in me continuing it once the new season starts let me know and i’ll see what i can do. thanks for all the love on this, you guys rock. and as always im taking request so if you have an idea i’d love to hear it.

[j-crow]

how've you been lately dawg 🤔🤔

in the trenches /j

yapping you didnt ask for incoming:

surprising from what you might think of me but ive been really good lately!!

i love the retj fandom but that shit got so miserable and overwhelming and convoluted that i just. gave up on trying to go back. im much happier staying off discord :D

actually i needed a reason to rant about this but oh my god??? i literally NEVER used to be that upset all the time pre-retj discord server. like the version of me in your head is probably SO inaccurate to how i actually am because i am NEVER that upset all the time

like yeah i get really upset sometimes but when i had discord??? WHY WAS I SO SUICIDAL?????

so the conclusion that ive come up with is that discord literally gave me mental illnesses and like. yeah that makes sense actually 😭😭

besides that ive been good besides the constant appearance of a wlw situationship in my life 😞😞

also dont if you ever noticed but i had a crush on your ex 💀💀 (tbf there were some EXTREMELY mixed signals imo) we’re not talking anymore tho

uhhh ive gotten new interests (house md my beloved <33 stupid fucking gay doctors) and read a terrifying amount of fanfiction (probably over 100 fics read the past 2 months not including the 100k+ one im reading rn???? dont bully me pls i know im chronically online 💔💔)

ive been trying to draw more as well but i suck ass at human anatomy and have ultimately decided to just draw animals for the rest of my life atp

also ive been playing the new pokemon tcg game and my entire coding class is literally obsessed with it 😭😭 (me flexing)

also been playing pokerogue!! its fun but i get unreasonably angry when my pokemon die 😭😭

ANYWAYS HOUSE MD!!!!!!!! medical malpractice show 10/10 would recommend watching‼️‼️ ive gotten so many spoilers because my short attention span cant handle more than two episodes a day and im stuck on season one 😭😭

WILSON!!!!!! my definitely gay husband who looks way too fondly at his best friend of ten years to be straight and has had three divorces (canon btw) exploding him with my mind 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

still obsessed with birds as you might be able to tell 😭😭 blog name actually comes from a piece of art your ex gave to me (gatekeeping sorry) it said “the c in jc stands for crow” and i ran with it

thats u btw /j (thats an australasian swamphen chick also known as a pukeko chick!!! look them up theyre terrifying)

personally one of my favorite photos of them

anyways i still like hamilton and epic the musical surprisingly and i think i can almost recite the entirety of nonstop and the room where it happens (so impressive i know)

and retj my beloved and beloathed </33 so terribly detrimental for my health but im glad i went through that shit tbh

also crazy that its almost christmas??? its christmas eve wtf i forgot

im also working on a 3d animation project with some friends!!! its due sometime in february and im praying i get into nationals for the competition 🙏🙏 i have a backup if the animation fails horribly but my friends dont so!!!! gotta work hard so we all can go to florida and do some tomfoolery

thats about it i think???? unless you want to hear about my school life for whatever reason (im happy to yap about coding but dont ask me about anything else 😭😭)

hope you’ve been well dude!! :D

found this deep in my camera roll 😭😭

[cwcthzl]

i am assigned you homework to watch when harry met sally

deb

okay so when i saw this i decided i was gonna watch it and keep a record of all of my thoughts during the film and share it with you, so here you go (it's a lot, i warn you)

i can't believe i have harry's exact haircut oh my fucking god

GET THIS MAN'S BAKERY OUT OF MY FACE

why does he casually have grapes w him

god how i envied those cheerful ppl who dotted their 'i's with little hearts

"look, when the shit comes down, i'm gonna be prepared and you're not. that's all i'm saying." / "in the meantime you're gonna ruin your whole life waiting for it."

sally's hair flow is actually gorgeous no wonder why she puts that much hairspray on

their fits are so 🤩🤩

i like how everytime sally declines to say more when harry asks, harry goes with 'fine, don't tell me' and moves on with whatever is in front of him instead of giving sally the reaction she very much expects (aka pleading for more info) and sally just gives in because she WANTS to share even tho she says she doesn't/can't

TF IS THAT ORDER. WHEN DID ORDERING PIE BECOME THIS COMPLICATED

sheldon the wonder schlong😭😭💀

"but if you MUST know" gurl just spit it out

"they don't make sunday." / "why not?" / because of god." IM WHEEZING

he is so sassy with the 'so?'s oh my god

he is so me

i like the song choice here because i think it really reflects sally and harry's interaction perfectly. "you say ee-ther, i say either." / "you like potato, and i like pot-ahto."

why does he have a baseball bat

why do blonde men look bald

"i never considered not sleeping with you a sacrifice" SALLY YOU COOKED HIM GIRL

"it's amazing. you look like a normal person but actually you are the angel of death."

i LOVE harry's mindset he is so me i'm gonna kill myself this guy is an ass

HOW MANY TIMES DID THIS MF MARRY

i was waiting for harry to get divorced tbh he had that divorced dad kinda vibe to him im glad he aced his journey ❤️

standing up to join the wave after telling your friend your wife told you she doesn't know if she's ever loved you is INSANE

"oh really? well that symptom is fucking my wife." funniest line delivery in history

marie i love you bby we're gonna get through this together even tho you're dumb asf

why is this bitch pulling a joe goldberg rn

it's the way sally is taller than harry for me

this couple pissed me off so much GOD STOP TALKING OVER EACH OTHER FOR A FUCKING SEC

YESSSS DIVORCED BITCH APARTMENT THAT HAS NO SURROUNDINGS OTHER THAN A COUCH YESSSS

is harry reading stephen king or are my eyes deceiving me

it's that ugly ass back cover that got my attention. i thrifted doctor sleep and only realized stephen king was on the back cover when mom pointed it out by saying that guy probably looked at his own face for horrors. not cool mum

"i miss the idea of him."

THEY ARE SO ON THE OTHER SIDES OF THE COIN I CANT

he is so weird why does he remember all the things she ordered with such hyperspecific steps. why is he like that. why is he me

"big jerk." / "little creep." LMAOOOOOOOOOO

UGH WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS. DANCINGCHEEK TO CHEEK??????? OH MY GODDDDDD

SUCH A SWEET NEW YEARS KISS 😭😭😭

marie i'm gonna kick your ass

MARIE AND JESS??????? THEY ARE SO CUTE

their fight 😭😭😭 their hug😭😭😭😭 i hate this bitches😭😭😭

NOW THEY HAVE BEEF WITH EACH OTEHR'S PARTNERS????? LMAO

"he is a good guy, you should talk to him!" / "he is too tall to talk to." what if i did a flip

he is still reading the end of the books first

he is so soft and gentle with her i'm gonna cry. not a single jab, a single sarcastic comment. just attentively listening and comforting - reassuring her and petting her hair as sally ugly cries . oh my god they are so 😭😭

sally is so pretty even when she cries tf

laughing to crying pipeline is so real sally i get you bby

i love their little kissies it's so insanely pure to me. like a kiss you would get when you are in elementary when you thought this was the ultimate form of love. so innocent and for what

okay well now this is not very just a peck

okay this is escalating

OKAY THIS QUICKLY ESCALATED

why is harry looking at the ceiling like its the ceiling's fault like damn 😭😭

i love sally's curls so much

why every way they approach this it gets even weirder like i am thinking if they fuck all of this would be resolved and they did and it sucked and now i am thinking they should just go back to being friends and they are doing it but it never seems fucking right???????

what are those skinny ass leggings are they fruitcakes

THE SLAP

HE SINGS TO HER OVER THE FUCKING PHONE FOR HER TO PICK UP😭😭😭🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

this tall bitch again

no this is another bitch

bro he is so me what the fuck i'm gonna kill myself

FRANK SINATRA???? WDYM IT HAD TO BE YOU?????

"how about you love me too?"

THE DETAILS????? IM DEYING

"i came here because when you realize you wanna spend the rest of your life with somebody you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

"you say things like that and you make it impossible for me to hate you!" 10 things i hate about you reference? perchance?

SMILING INTO THE KISSSSSSS IM DECEASING

yeah def have chocolate sauce on the side

but after all, i really enjoyed this film. like, throughly. i would be fine even if they didn't end up together because their friendship was just that good and reminded me of me and a friend of mine, and it really touched some subjects i really liked. also i added another mf to my kinlist, so thanks????? ig????? they are very cute and i Loved this film debs you are a saint

[professorxsmokesweed]

i want to eat erik not in a sexual way or a cannibalism way but like in a macaron way

[saintobio]

wait omgg i submitted by mistake without finishing what i said😭😭 im so sorry saint

HALLELUJAH!! GOD IS ALWAYS GOOD!! i literally had to stand up and jump from excitement when i read this. thank you God for not allowing this bitch to give birth to a child bc imagine having sera as a mother?? i would kill myself as soon as i had knowledge of what was going on.

PLEASE TOJI PINCH MY NIPPLES JUST LIKE THAT AND SPREAD THAT WARMTH ALL OVER MY BODY😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 im so sorry yall im so touch deprived when it comes to this man. i know he was speaking about his dead wife who he still loves but it’s okay he’ll come to love me as well🥰

i know his fucking hypocrite ass isnt talking. i just have to mention again how i love it when a man gets a little jealous and possessive but when you are a cheater it makes me wanna hate you. like the fucking audacity to think you can even think about getting jealous. THE AUDACITY BRO.

how i wish i could do this to sera. if you are gonna be a fucking whore, a hateful person and poor at that, at least respect your mom and your family you stupid raggedy bitch.

sera right now:

like no shit you stupid clown ass whore💀💀 okay that she’s poor, desperate and shit but she can’t even use common sense?? like i truly have no words. i hate stupid people and i think this is why. stupidity always leaves me speechless and with a bad taste in my mouth bc how can someone be so stupid?? sera should truly khs at this point and please leave a will for her family. or she diana shoes so that they can sell it and live from that until her siblings get some jobs and shit. i truly feel so bad for her family being stuck with someone like that.

i hit the 10 image limit again but when i tell you i kept re reading the last part when y/n asked for a divorce and then that moment with sera when it was revealed that was a dress that she rejected and was meant for her😩😩😩 queen shit omg. also sera and the stepmom remind me so much of trashta on her wedding💀💀 looking like clowns bc they wanna show off so much. but honestly speaking im very scared about what’s gonna happen with satoru.. his dad could truly end up killing him now and abuse is never excused. just like when sera was abusing satoru as well. this man has got such bad luck. always making the wrong choices and when he does do something right its too late🤦🏽‍♀️. i do have a question tho, does the stepmom and naoya know about the pregnancy scare??

SJSNDNS the gifs 😭 ty for sending this through. it was entertaining to read !!

[99liners]

Alright so where do I even start for Librosis- My initial reaction after reading ut last night/morning was literally- ".......WHAT?"

Ngl I kinda screamed when the girls were sitting together and drinking and subtly insulting their husbands all of them making their cameos(also was that a hint with Inaya being pregnant in aphotic CUZ IM LOOKING AT YOU JAIM 👀) I ALSO WANTED TO CRY BCUZ DANNY WASN'T THERE 😭😭

The way they got married was ughhh we were threatened by Rei and I wanted to punch yoongi so hard cuz poor rei got stuck in the crossfire and she wasn't even aware HELL THE READER ACCIDENTALLY HERD SOMETHING SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE! IF ONLY WE KEPT QUITE AND NOT GO TO OFFICER JOHN.

Anyways one thing I like about librosis is the fact that the reader isn't scared to call yoongi out on his bullshit. She knows he's wrong but at the same time I get the feeling she isn't going to go against him because she literally has nothing. Her parents are both dead, she doesn't have any other friends besides Rei who herself is stuck in a predicament💀 and to make matters worse reader doesn't have any qualifications or degree to work so that's bad unless she wants to continue her struggle- Like we know that she wants to divorce him but at the same time I think she doesn't want to- (ngl I'm a litttttle confused about this one too her feelings confue me 🚶🏻‍♀️-)

I recently watched vincenzo so the court scenes were so fun to read! And hey I learned something new! Never trust you psycho spouse who has money 😃 I did pity yoongi beacuse of his past the way he was on the right path but then his parents death sent him in a spiral and the fact that this is how real world really is (even tho its no excuse for his shitty behaviour-) If you try standing against the bad people and against the corruption you're the one who gets hurt by people with power and how flawed our system really is. It sends shivers down my spine 🧍🏻‍♀️

Also dang through out this I see Seokjin had been mentioned A LOT and I have a feeling he has something to do with the underworld or sum with all the murders and whatever deals with victims caught in the crossfire and that he literally has a defence lawyer fighting for him- I HAVE A BAD FEELING. Also fuck me but I have a lil 8 year old cousin named Inaya AND I HAD TO KEEP HER IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD AND TRY TO IMAGINE MY OTHER FRIEND- SKDNFKF

Then came the ending I was gonna throw hands- WHY THIS DANG BITCH SO PARANOID. Till some degree I understood Yoongis perspective that he finally started to care for someone and didn't want them taken away like his parents and with his dealings/connections with the mafia organisations which puts him on edge BUT COULD HE NOT DESTROY THINGS THE READER LOVES AS A WAY TO CONTROL HER!? I would be mad pissed to if I just went to hangout or take care of a friend and come home to my asshole husband burning my moms dress I wanted to wear and the get blamed! And then he has the audacity to say its "love" (ง'̀-'́)ง

Also the irony of "devil's advocate" word- I kinda laughed at that also it's pretty clear they ain't gonna have kids but we'll still wait for the pregnancy headcanon 🥴🚶🏻‍♀️

Guess we have another memeber added with Kaiho!jjk and Énouement!kth in the worst husband club 💀 can't wait to put Aphotic!ksj here soon 🤩

In conclusion......wtf kind of crack were you on writing this. Its so good and the realistic aspect of corruption mixed in with court laws there was what stole my interest. Teach me your ways Im so inconsistent in writing that I write like 5 lines a day and give up 💀 anyways I'll go back to doing physics 🤧 Hopefully this doesn't have typos

- sincerely Al (strawberryjimin13) because I'm ascending after this💀

oooof, homegorl loves detailed feedback. and the only valid reaction after reading any instalments of the tatemae series is "what". so you are good!

yeah, the girls sitting together and just chatting, pulling each others' legs was sweet. and no, you are so wrong ahahahahahahah, i love how you all have the wrong impression of what is about to go down in aphotic ahahahahaha

and yeah, she got threatened about rei and her father and like she is just a girl trying to make do in this world with whatever resources she has. she didn't really have an option. and officer john really be out there ruining lives xD

exactly, she has basically nothing to fight back with. we all want to help the environment and give back to the poor, don't we? at least the majority of us do yet we are unable to do so because we are not self-sufficient. fighting crime and evil is not a kids' game and rising against corruption? you need an iron will, endless patience, means to fight back any physical threats and so and so forth. the list is endless and yet at the end of the day, what you will actually receive from the fighting is one drop in the ocean full of people who are still paying for injustice.

oh, i want to watch Vincenzo but i haven't been able to. i am glad that it was fun for you to read! i am particularly proud of the courtroom exchange lol.

every rich man has a defence lawyer bub, it's not something out of the ordinary BUT I AIN'T SAYING A WORD ABOUT APHOTIC WITHOUT MY LAWYER. IT'S A SPOILER-FREE ZONE.

see, being scared that you might lose someone close to you, someone you care about is absolutely valid but the level of his paranoia? he basically had a whole mental breakdown after his partner's son died that at the end, he ended up imprisoning his wife on the premise that he would not lose her that way. well, people die in their own homes too but guess logical reasoning is not something yoongi wants to debate on, at the moment.

yeah, i intentionally wrote "devil's advocate" for the laughs. defence lawyers get stereotyped a lot lol. also, i feel like i have mentioned this before in some ask that yoongi is not going to have kids cause he isn't interested but yes! the headcanon shall be written.

believe me, seokjin would 100% join that club with kth, jjk and myg <33

what crack was i on? lack of sleep xD that's what i was on. honestly, this is probably the first tatemae series oneshot where i did not have to study extensively. i only had to go through the provisions of spousal privilege in south korea but other than that, the rest came so naturally. especially, the legal jargon. i literally speak like that everyday xD

[sk1nnbon3s]

cw; physical abuse + vent?!

lol why does no one get it. the context is that my mum used to hit me a lot and only stopped in the past like year and a half. around about 2 years ago i think, i finally realised that what she was doing was called abuse, it wasnt anything super bad like it didnt leave any marks but she hit me a lot and so i finally got up the courage and threatened to call the police on her if she didnt stop and she still carried on💀

me and my dad are almost the exact same, i got my everything from my dad - hair type, texture, colour, blood type, personality, eye colour etc and in the past year and a bit when i finally realised that theres a lot wrong w my mum and became mentally ill so i realised everything she put me through, me and my dad rant a lot about my mum. is it bad yes but she deserves it. dont get me wrong my mum is a good person inside but theres a lot wrong with her and she refuses to change. see where the problem is. she did a lot to my dad and my parents have been divorced for almost a year and a half and i havent been living with my dad for 2 years and now (for a while alr), she’s doing the same thing to me. i realised how my mum tried to manipulate me and i stopped believing it and looking up to her but instead now i dont wanna be anything like my mum so me and my mums relationship is pretty broken and we get into arguements a lot whereas my mums relationship with my sister is very good.

right anyways, me and my dad were on call and yeah and got onto the topic of her hitting me and yeah. my dad is very understanding and stuff and kinda the opposite of my mum so we get along pretty well but my dad said i should just forget and forgive. i have no reason to tho :// and he doesnt get that. she hasnt changed, hasnt said sorry, doesnt acknowledge my trauma from it like if i hear slapping or anything like that, i will start crying etc. i have no reason to forget it when it has badly effected me and no reason to forgive. i cant talk to anyone else about it. i dont have therapy or anything, i dont know how to get it, i dont think my mum even wants me to get it. my dad is v open with the idea of it, he goes to therapy and has tried to get my mum to go many many times and she’s refused. she’s well aware that she needs help because whenever someone calls her out on ANYTHING she just makes up an excuse like ‘shut up, its not your business’ or just starts shouting or something ://

my plan is that one day as soon as i can because i could just live with my dad but i just cant, like i just physically cant move out (probably from all those times my mum threatened to leave😍), like one of my friends convinced me to last summer but it never worked out like i told my dad that i want to live with him and he let me but it never happened. yeah so the plan is i move out like as soon as i turn 16 or i am financially stable enough to and distance myself a lot from my mum until she gets help which i doubt she will anytime soon 😁

im gonna go insane soon lol

sigh.