#im still kinda new to like.....font stuff so im testing things out here

[catheudo]

i hope you guys like my new title. i’m never changing it. i had to make the title font on my theme legit 10px just so it would show, that’s how much i want to keep this title

umm general rant/life update i guess:

i got my kinematics physics test back and i got a FUCKING 66 im so pissed because i’m doing so bad at physics and chem both lately...we had a chem test today though and it went pretty ok so i hope i did well. i’m trying not to get my hopes up though but also, (dewey from mitm voice) even when i expect nothing i’m still let down. i guess since we’re finally done the kinematics unit in physics i’ll be able to bring my mark up but im sad

im so stressed lately because i just want good marks and like...the only good mark i have is in functions and tbh i think it might drop soon...it’s like no matter how much i study i’m going to do bad ? which is bull shite bc i gotta apply to uni this year

uhhh im doing that thing again where i refuse to talk to anyone or address my issues but also i’ve been doing that my entire life and i’m kinda tired of just ignoring it. i don’t think i’m the only one who thinks this, but a lot of the time i wish i could just turn off my brain. like stop having thoughts for a bit, but not sleeping - just not thinking. 

i haven’t been going to the library lately because of health issues and stuff so i haven’t been talking to the girl i normally talk to when i go there and i feel like she hates me or just doesn’t like me or something? like when i text her i feel like i’m bothering her so i kinda try to avoid it. prob just being paranoid but also...i feel like she’s annoyed by me bc im so awko...idk why im so awkward around her too bc normally im not that hard to talk to i think! i did go yesterday and today though and she wasn’t there and i wanna text and ask why but again...don’t wanna bother her

also some stuff i want to do:

get double lobe piercings (i already have my ears pierced but i want More)

learn to drive so i can drive around in the middle of the night and listen to music or whatever

get a tattoo. i don’t know what i would get tbh, but i think a moomin tattoo would be cute

get more money. i want to get a macbook and a new phone sososo bad. my phone is such CRIKING shit, i feel like its going to brick soon

figure out what i want to do. i haven’t even looked at like, campus tour dates or whatever because Procrastination and anxiety

stop just letting stuff happen to me and take a proactive role in my life

stop using this site. not completely, but i want to stop compulsively checking this site for posts or whatever. i deleted the app so i’m not wasting data as much and it’s reducing me checking posts on here, but i think i waste a lot of time on tumblr so im gonna try to log on less and only post about my life instead of just aesthetique blogging

ok post over thanks for reading