#im sticking with this fancast anyway

[hueberryshortcake]

crawling out of the void to present a rare

HUEBERRY SHORTCAKE DUCK COMIC REACTION

this week it's DANGEROUS DISGUISE which is one of my favorites so you know i had to roll up. let's get going

so this comic was written in the middle of 1950 and is about spies. what else happened in 1950? THIS GUY. pause for hatred:

[for the non-americans because i don't know how common this information is: joseph mccarthy gave a speech in early 1950 that leveraged post-war anxieties about the soviet union's influence on countries weakened by the devastation to turn americans against each other by claiming that secret communist spies were infiltrating the US government. he made up most of this information but it sparked another Red Scare where everyone was particularly afraid of spies and stuff. birth of the cia etc. this has been an off-the-cuff history lesson by caoimhin]

okay anyway so we start out with the ducks having been banished to europe because they were annoying uncle scrooge too much. this is after barks realized that having a rich guy as a plot device to let the ducks explore was, comment dit-on, awesome. so that's Interesting Barks History Fact Number 1. donald says "i wish uncle scrooge would get mad at us more often" . swag

Interesting Barks History Fact Number 2: homeboy got in trouble for having too many humans in this comic. in fact i believe that the duck family are the only non-humans in this one. after this he tends to stick to his "vaguely dog-humanoid things" strategy when he doesn't feel like coming up with unique animal designs. i approve of this because it means i get to go full sonofmegavolt humina humina at some of the women he drew. outside of disney early in his career barks drew some quite racy stuff btw. insert wolf whistle here. ANYWAY.

we get some "gee whiz uncle donald do you think any of these cool europeans are spies" from the boys to which he's like "whatEVER" and theHOLD ON HOLD ON WHA

HIIIIIIII

ok im focused.

i lied. donald gets it

these panels are fire. i just want to take a moment to appreciate this for being hella violent. there's like six guns in one panel guys. everyone say thank you carl. huge fan of cloakan dagger, what a great name.

LMAOOOOO

and here she is. my beautiful wife madame triple x. i mean who. who is that. well we can tell she's french because of. she talks like that. everyone point and laugh at the french people. anyway madame xxx looks incredibly sexy and says "it's fine for me to read this message there's nobody around except for those three little boys digging in the sand" which is her first mistake because as we learn time and time again they're. well they're Like That. also when she thinks to herself she loses the accent which i did not pick up on initially because im silly

he's just like me guys

this made me shriek sorry dude just appeared

i KNOW barks was giggling and kicking his feet when he wrote this

at which point huey throws a grown man off a bridge. huey kill count 1

and would you LOOK WHO'S BACK

madame triple x are you free on thursday because i am free on thursday when i am free

how long was this guy just sitting there

"i'm just a girl lol"

bro you are two inches tall

NO DONALD NOOOO HE FELL ASLEEP ON THE TRAIN TRACKS NO DONALD HE CAN'T HEAR US HE HAS AIR PODS IN

you see it's FUNNY because the FRENCH PEOPLE went on STRIKE

"STOP THAT TRAIN IT'S RUNNING AWAY"

"sorry dude im on strike"

omg. see it's donald but you can tell he's spanish because he has black hair

next the triplets trap donaldo el quacko in the shower by holding him at Freezing Water Point. this wouldnt work on me because even though i have severe cold sensitivity ive been taking cold showers for three days [rv water heater broken]

after this we have a clever reference to El Materdor when donald gets ready to fight a bull.

get his ass louie

i like to think Miss Georgia Cornpone has a southern accent. actually can we fancast dolly parton. because of beautiful women

VERY SMALL!

that was so beautiful. thanks for coming with me guys. this comic is so good everyone listen to the Carl Barks Remarks episode about it because it's funny and informative ok byeee

[jovenshires]

🎬 -ghoul

🎬 If a movie or show were based on your fic, which fic would you choose and who would you fancast?

@agnewbones ghoul this is my FAVORITE thing to do in the whole world thank you so much for asking i had The Most fun.

anywho come on y'all KNOW i have to do iwks. i'll hit you with major to minor characters (i cut myself off at a point i'll spare you the full cast nsklndksnlf) but i'll throw the top two up top and the rest beneath the cut in case you're curious !!

spencer: it is mind-boggling to choose someone who is not spencer agnew. everyone i really loved was too tall it was so tragic. anyway. i think im going with ethan cutkosky. he's a short king (5'5" is PERFECT thank god he exists) which is incredibly important and i think he can bring in that 'sad, self-conscious' vibe we so desperately need. also he needs a comeback after shameless.

tommy: okay so. this one was the toughest one fr. but im SO glad i kept looking/thinking bc i landed on dale whibley. LOOK at that smug bastard. he's tall, he's lanky, he looks smug as fuck, i've seen him in that one horror movie that objectively sucked but HE was incredible. lads we fucking did it that's tommy bowe.

send me some fic writer asks!!

shayne: i think i'm going with owen joyner. he's just shayne-shaped. golden retriever boy who seems like he should be the team captain? yeah. he's not a short king but i can look past that.

damien: i think leo howard has that damien look about him and could definitely be like the Nice Boy of the group. i also think it would be a little funny to have a former disney kid playing damien <3

alex: im not gonna lie. this one was tough. need someone fun and silly who's also got that androgyny swag... naleye junior dolmans is the closest i've got even though he's a little on the older side for this cast. he's also a model not an actor but i think we can get him there !!

keith: oh to capture such effortless swag but also be a little shit but also be like the second nicest person on the show. i think i've landed on aubrey joseph. he's just got a vibe i really enjoy. look at his smile come on now

chanse: am i choosing jay lycurgou because i love jay lycurgou or am i gifting chanse jay lycurgou because i love chanse. i think it's both. no but chanse is so bitey and mean in iwks and i think jay would eat that the fuck up

jeremy: i think lucas hedges can really give that unhinged, angry boy performance we all know, love, and want from our favorite background character, jeremy elder. he also has that gaunt, haunted stick figure look you really need to be jeremy.

patrick: im a huge horror movie fan so i can confidently say that owen teague is a great actor who Has the Range and i think he would see all of the jerpat and go "yeah. yeah i can work with this."

ify: can he act? god only knows. am i gonna let him try? abso-fucking-lutely. welcome to the cast, khalid. we'll use one of your songs in the show come on board !

brennan: i wanted someone who could give serious, quiet observer and so i'm going with ryan potter who i think can really deliver that!!

tim: he can have my second choice for spencer who was just Too tall to be spence but i still think is an icon - ty simpkins. he's not gonna say a god damn word but he will do it all with his face and he WILL eat cold pizza. i think he can pull it off.

[oceanssapart]

⚓ Captain Gian Harlowe & Rosarian IV, The Merrow Queen, Thirty-Fifth Queen of Inys

‘Captain,’ Ead said, and Harlowe grunted, ‘at the Inysh court, there are rumours about you, spoken deep in the shadows. Rumours that you courted Queen Rosarian.’ She watched his brow darken. ‘They say you meant to take her to the Milk Lagoon.’

‘The Milk Lagoon is a fable,’ he said curtly. ‘A tale whispered to children and lovers without hope.’

‘A wise young woman told me once that all legends grow from a seed of truth.’‘Is it you or the Queen of Inys who desires the truth?’

Ead waited, watching his face. Those eyes were in a distant past.

‘She was never much like Rose.’ His voice softened. ‘She was night-born, you know. They say that makes a child grave . . . but Rose came into the world at the lark’s calling.’

🍊 The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon (@sshannonauthor)

[mallahanmoxie]

expose your most hated narnia fancasts that you’ve seen

oh boy before the manslaughter begins, shoutout to tumblr who didn’t notify me i had gotten an ask so that i only saw this message three days later when i accidentally clicked on my inbox

the thing you gotta understand though is that i am old and withered by current narnia fans standards. much like the asoue fandom, though out of different reasons, there’s a new generation of fans that seem to be producing content. when i was young? we were three people with a stick and a piece of paper. so like, the kinda content we put out before was… different. world’s changed tbh.

so i can’t tell you i’ve moved on, because i will never move on from narnia ever you’ll pry it off my dead cold fingers, but i don’t really pay attention to the fandom quite as much as i used to do. i’ve seen the new content tho! i even dragged my ancient ass to a network! that i don’t post to bc university dragged the joy and life out of me! (sorry to the admins). this current gen is producing Top Notch Content. it is not… standardized, let’s say, and it’s mostly for fun so it’s cool. i don’t take it for more than it is. hey, it’s gay and brown, right? it suffices my taste. when i wanted to make a narnia fancast with brown and gay people, i had to plot out the entire series WITH background characters and shit. i had papers of all the characters in the bloody universe fancasted with people who could actually play them (which is why my black, age appropriate pevensies idea died as soon as i had to pick somebody else but lucy, who was oscar nominated quvenzhané wallis who is now sadly too old). some a bit out there but you gotta attract big names to attract big crowds sometimes. this happens less, as the growing trend of casting models and people who cannot act develops as idk overall fandom culture, but it’s still much much better. i’m not criticizing anybody, i swear to you i love yall. you gave me park boyoung as lucy pevensie!!!! nobody’s made me happier!!!!!!!!!

now, for the people of my time…

(i speak like im 84. it’s only been like six years). anyway, a list of my most hated narnia fancasts:

bradley james as anyone. the narnia fandom’s boytoy! our generic White King! the only fucking face i saw for like fifteen and a half years!!! now i love bradley james  BUT. he was everywhere. peter? of course. tirian? why not. rilian? sure. caspian? uh yeah he was blond in the books. i couldn’t get rid of his fucking face bc everybody used him bc idk he was the top first result in blond people that look medieval but without rotting teeth or something list

katie mcgrath as susan or the lady of the green kirtle. again, same thing. pretty lady with black hair that has worn a crown and looks slightly evil, first result, our designated susan. bc what’s having a personality. also she wore a green dress Once so like, what’s the logical choice.

colin morgan as edmund. do you see a pattern here??? i guess merlin was the only medieval show everybody watched back then??? they didn’t cast angel coulby as lucy bc boy would the pevensie parents have some shit to explain.

adelaide kane as lucy. i looked at this once and promptly had a meltdown. an anon yelled at me for being too mean and look, yes, i was too mean and it was not the space to say i Fucking Hated It bc op could see it (top notch graphic tho op sorry for the cursing) but reign was going on and, nah. nah. 

elle fanning as polly plummer. i saw her be polly much more than jill so im jotting her as that, though she was used liberally by lots. at some point i hated elle fanning just bc? idk why tbqh, i can’t remember, but it was maybe that fancast. i still think she lacks all of polly’s spunk anyway. polly? literally yelled at a two meter woman presumably looking like tilda swinton? please.

asa fucking butterfield and chloe moretz as digory and polly. i have a personal vendetta for asa that i forget all about except when our birthdays come around. anyway, they made hugo and people said, well the magician’s nephew happens in the same time frame? they’re white and young? sign me up! i turned the sheet away.

freddie highmore as cor/corin. again, same old. i don’t even know if he ever acted on anything medieval??? and i love freddie okay i kissed his picture when i was in third grade bc i thought blond freddie in arthur and the minimoys (????) was the Shit. but he was Everywhere.

gemma arterton as susan. i don’t hate it i just think she doesn’t fit susan and the whole thing was sloppy when weaponized femininity was all the rage and hansel and gretel came out

sophie nélisse as jill or polly. again dont hate it but it’s uninspired. she lacks the spunk. also, if you notice a pattern here is bc whenever a period drama movie came out with white kids vaguely resembling the pevensies or something, everybody flocked to photoshop. myself included (forgive me lord ive sinned)

francois arnaud as rabadash. he’s white?????????? fam. (sorry i dont have the cedilla on this keyboard)

a few people i want to never see near this: uh, the entire merlin cast, the entire reign cast, the entire white queen or something?? cast, the borgia cast, the harry potter cast, the hunger games cast, the cast of the next child movie that comes out… idk. 

i honestly can’t think of any more but i know i’ve raged before. i have like a real clear idea of how i want the characters to look? and i have like different concepts for them, i just can’t find anybody ever lmao.