#im stealing his fucking gf bro tf

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

robin hood, but make it gay

(have i posted this before? i feel like i have. oh well)

so imagine a tv show where robin and maid marian are both gay, but let the townsfolk assume they're in a relationship, bc their respective partners are spying for them marian's gf is maid/cook at the sheriff of nottinghams mansion and robin's bf is friar tuck friar tuck gets outed and joins the merry men like 2 episodes in bc hes way too well groomed to be straight the cook girl has to join the merry men like 3 seasons in after being accused of witchcraft but she just ends up being /really/ good at crossdressing so she just helps robin pull of his heists by distracting ppl while in disguise as a boy (also she may have been genderfluid/non binary anyway and was really androgynous which is partly why she was accused of witchcraft anyway so it works out) also maid marian and robin are technically cousins and were like bffs when they were little but got separated at some point bc of family issues but eventually they reunited (after puberty/realizing they were gay) and were both just kinda like '......ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy gay cousins’ so now they just goof off pretending to be dating (dramatic fuckers) to piss off the sheriff of nottingham bc the sheriff is an old, greedy, homophobic fart of a dude who can't really legally touch maid marian bc her family is influential or somethingrather robin is from the poorer branch of her family who slipped into poverty bc..idk, their dad got sick and died meanwhile the sheriff taxed tf out of everyone and the stress almost killed robins mom. so now robin and his lil bro, will scarlett (whose trans btw bc i want him to be) became outlaws bc they got tired of this capitalist crap after loosing thier house, they took their mom and ran into the woods where a bunch of theives/outlaws (mostly a bunch of gays/'witches' who got run out of town) took them in robin's gay confidence and sheer dumbassery wowed them so much he kinda became their leader will was unanimously adopted as Smol Bean Baby Brother and they taught him all kindsa Manly shit, including how to fight will is really hotheaded and robin is super arrogant and they share like 1 brain cell which is their cool rich lesbian cousin Marian and by hotheaded i mean hes a snarky lil shit full of Righteous Rage and robin is just like death?Never Heard Of Him BuT He Sounds Hot and when the only Gay in town turns out to literally be part of the church, this dumbass bundle of daddy issues and swagger goes Oh Great I Love A Challenge the friar falls head over heels for this tiny ass twink with the stupid hat who keeps stealing their money so naturally they get run out of town in like a week meanwhile marian's just like '...yall are dumbasses, joan and i have been fucking for like 2 years and no ones caught on yet' so when robins like 'yo cuz im starting a criminal gang you want in' she's just like 'ugh fine i have nothing better to do' so she gets her gf to spy on the sheriff for them i just remembered Little John exists and was bffs with robin so we're just gonna say he showed up later and since friar is already gay we're gonna say hes the only straight one hes the token straight the straight best friend he and robin have a very exaggerated bromance and its like an ongoing joke in the whole gang they propose to each other nightly also robin and wills mom still exists and she's just like 'look at my little babies, off commiting crimes :)))' i just looked it up and little john is called little john bc hes fucking 7 feet tall we stan a supportive himbo big brother