#im sorry you experienced the abuse you did nobody deserves that

[mirror-imaged]

i think i should be allowed to kill anybody who says they believe everybody with cluster b disorders are abusive hahahahahahaha

[lesbiten]

i have opinions on ford the world isn't ready to see (he and mabel have a lot in common and he's not just a parallel of dipper. also he's not a terrible person.)

i think you knew this would happen when you sent this ask but i ended up talking for so long that im putting this under a read more Sorry

see this is crazy to me because this feels like surface level Ford Obsevations to me and yet you are completely right that the world isnt ready to hear it. i dont know if they ever will be. every day i wish there was more about him and mabel (that one page from the website was a blessing and i will cherish it forever). also its crazy to me how eager people are to blame ford for the abuse he experienced at the hands of bill. the new book hasnt helped this whatsoever either. the entire book literally screams in your face 'hey this guy is manipulating you, dont believe what hes saying' but when bill goes 'me and ford actually had so many great times together and i was so crushed to lose him and HE ruined MY life actually' nobody thinks he might be exaggerating to get the reader on his side. but maybe im just insane. anyways i just dont think ford deserved to lose everything he worked for and everyone he loved just because he trusted the wrong guy. i also dont get blaming ford for everything that happened with fiddleford. i feel like some people act like ford forced him to drive down to gravity falls and then held the memory gun to his head and then abandoned him on purpose. he called a friend to work on a project, underestimated how badly it was affecting him, and then got stuck in the multiverse before he could even try to reconcile with him. at the end of the day everything that went wrong here was because of bill. ford did not ruin his own or fiddlefords life with malicious intent, nor did he ruin either of them at all. thanks

[kaisacobra]

Thank you for saying that it really means a lot, I actually used to write fan-fiction a couple years back and I’ve recently tried to start again but I’m very critical of what I write and how I write it so I’m incapable of producing a single chapter.

Keep it mysterious, I’ll be eagerly awaiting whatever you gift us ✨

Now that you mention it, yes I completely understand what you mean about R not being able to be extremely cold to Tara. R seems like the type of person who’d be hurt and disappointed, someone who wouldn’t necessarily be cold to Tara but would definitely hide from her. For R I’d imagine it’d be an internal battle of what she wants versus what she deserves, we already get a feel for that in the first chapter but it was easier for her to choose what she wants- which is to provide whatever comfort and happiness Tara wants because she loves her so much over what she deserves- someone who cares about her in a consistent manner and not only when it’s convenient (boo Tara😡). After Tara’s outburst I think R would have to force herself in every way possible to really process that she can’t put Tara’s needs above her own anymore, as much as she loves Tara doing that would reinforce the notion that everything Tara said is true. We know she always runs back but now that’s she’s been ridiculed for it she can’t.

The way she’s always there for Tara makes me wonder about her background. Maybe this is TMI, but I personally have experienced many relationships like this in the past. My father abandoned my sister and I at a very young age, so part of the reason I would always be there for them and never left first even when I should’ve but wouldn’t- was because I never wanted them to feel as unloved and unworthy as I did when my father left me. By the time I was a teenager I’d already forgiven him for all the abuse my family endured because of him, in my heart nobody could ever hurt me the way he hurt me- so I’d forgive them even though the people around me would expressively tell me not to, you know? But im older now and I stand my ground, i can leave when if its what’s best for me and not get too caught up in what’s best for them.

I’m from California by the way! It’s 10:30PM right now, you’re from Brazil though? That’s so cool! Did you grow up there? My parents were born in Mexico but they moved to USA in the late 1980’s, I wanna move to Mexico and live there for a couple years because my mother loves and talks about her hometown so much, the idea of seeing where she grew up in person and picturing her as a little girl warms my heart.

- ☘️ (I’m gonna use this as my anon tag from now on)

I feel like everyone is gonna be critical when it comes to their own stuff, like, I'm not kidding when I said i thought second best wasn't that good, specially because I used to be an essay tutor/monitor at school and my writing had to be more than perfect. Just remember that usually you're gonna be more critical of your work than other people and it doesn't mean that what you write is actually bad.

I'm so sorry that happened to you and I'm glad that you can stand your ground now!💪 I know this will sound oddly ironic but all the background information I have on R is about... Tara. In my head, R is divided by past (beginning of friendship, woodsboro), present (the current mess) and future (what's gonna happen) so, in a way, maybe her life is all about Tara😔

I don't think R's family are gonna make an appearance so I'll leave it up for you guys to hc whatever you want as R's reason for being so attached to Tara.

California seems so nice! And yeah, i grew up here and i wouldn't have it any other way🤭 Maybe this happens to everyone in their own home country but i just love my culture and history so much, I can't imagine living anywhere else.

Mexico sounds super cool! I've been wanting to go there, specially in 2026 because of the world cup (really wanted to see it live) but i dont think it's gonna happen😔 Either way it's a beautiful country i wanna visit someday and i definitely have to start improving my spanish.

[princessangelcake]

dear diary,

i just lied to a doctor at maudsley hospital.

am i crazy?

i told her i binge 3 times a week. she then asked me how many times every 3 months, i said 4. She then said "but you just said you binge 3 a week, so 3 x 4 (weeks) that would be 12 times a month.

i said oh sorry i thought you said… la da la da da.

i tend to do this a lot in therapy. lie. exaggerate. i think i do this because i dont want to be rejected. i dont want to be invalidated again. i crave that doctors approval of "there is something wrong with you and you need to be taken care of" i want to be in the hsopital rotting. im not sure why.

one of my favourite lies has to be "i burn myself with cigarettes" while the cigarette part is true. the burning not so much.

i cant stand fire / heat on my skin. ive cut myself. ive pinched myself, ive banged my head against walls. ive done as much as i can to make myself look like im insane, maybe i am. but all the self harm is deserved. i deserve to feel that pain, deserve to feel stupid. the anatomy of my brain has changed. i no longer feel like myself. i am she. "she was happy" i said when the doctor asked me how my perrsonality was like when i was small.

im sure she knew i was lying. i was not a happy child. i was not. i have internalised everything. i look happy on the outside, which is the facade i want to put up until the 27th of august. when im supposedly meant to be ending my life. i made that up on the spot when i told her. not sure why. but i should be admitted by then. by then i should be able to taste that disgusting hospital food. at least ill be taken care of and loved. liked rather. i like the hospital smell.

the truth is, nobody in this world will ever understand me or my brain. i am too tired to explain i fear. why should anyone be inside of my head?

i told her i tried to hang myself when i was 12, which im sure i did try, yet i cant remember much from my childhood. i feel insane. i feel stupid and pathetic. i dont have any more coping mechanisms.

i told her ive been sexually abused 4 times, which is true, but i only remembered that this morning. before today i forgot all about that. brushed it under the rug "its not a big deal to me" because its not. that's what the woman who raped me 8 years ago told me, like a good girl i shouldn't tell mummy or daddy about this. keep it between us, which i did until this morning, my apologies.

yes my neighbour forced me to lick his dick, yes i was forced onto the bed by my cousin, forcefully fingered and kissed, like a doll that was made to be fucked and abused. that was an uncomfortable experience. of course i consented to it. i was only 11 after all, i had my full consciousnesses. yes me and my sister had continous sexual experiences when i was young, she rubbed pussies with me in the bathroom at night when i was..9, so what? yes oliver tried to have sex with me when i was just a little girl. yes ive experienced a lot of sexual things as a young one.

that doesnt mean i am truamatised, i am not. i am simply just living. stop making it a big deal.

i am sex. sex is who i am. what is wrong with that?

yes i was bullied, verbally degraded, sexually abused, told i was too fat to be attractive to anyone, yes i am all these things. oohhh i am so useless. i am a fuck rag doll to be used and abused. i believe that so strongly.

so, all of these things i mentioned to the doctor, what has any of this got to do with an eating disorder? nothing at all. my mouth just runs and ran during that whole thing.

maybe i shouldn't have lied to the oh so sweet lady doctor, but i needed to. or she wouldn't have taken me seriously. "just another fat fuck of a black girl who thinks she's different. thinks she's sick but she's not".

i would truly end my life there if i was not to be taken seriously.

so, i sit here and await the results of my eating disorder assessment, otherwise known as the string of half-lies i put into the system. i love this country. i am a living breathing object of a lie. everything about me is false. i should not be here. i should not be here at all.

[1ore]

sorry. im going ballistic about this now. hope you understand

i was talking about this after therapy with the people at work but the ways in which abuse leads people to declare 'everyone should suffer as i did' or 'nobody should suffer as i did' . The

morgan and his mom living adjacent to the incalculable grief of the wall watch, and having their relationship forever transfigured by the loss of his father, a watchman. morgan becoming an outsider in his own home. morgan, in his despair, risking it all to leave basedt. morgan escaping into the arms of a loving world, but struggling to integrate into Normal Society because nobody has any idea how to handle the scope of the violence and human suffering that is the ash tundra, so it becomes his and his alone. morgan becoming an outsider in his second home. morgan returning to the first wound i.e. basedt because the survivor's guilt is too much, and because the wound is, at least, familiar. morgan realizing his time with the outside world has transformed him, made him unrecognizable. morgan as permanent outsider, one foot in the sea and one on shore, completely alone.

ashe having wonderful parents, but he still ended up Like That because he experienced something they could not comprehend and the alienation drove him into the arms of a cult, who took a very funny middleground between 'everyone should suffer' and 'nobody should suffer' by declaring 'the world needs to end so we can all stop suffering and it is our moral imperative to personally euthanize it.' ashe getting out, but perpetuating the cycle-- despite his best efforts-- in the most grave and unthinkable way possible.

ashe killing rayet's dad in self-defense. ashe assuming guardianship bc holy shit the ash tundra is no place for an orphan, knowing full well this will cause incalculable damage to both of them, but also that the only alternative is Death. rayet inheriting such a fierce desire to insulate others from the pain of her upbringing that she creates the free companies of the ash tundra and drags everyone around her kicking and screaming into camaraderie and brotherhood. rayet essentially creating the found family that she never had, with no map, no knowledge of what a healthy family looks like. rayet gravitating towards morgan bc he contains Forbidden Knowledge (lived in a normal, loving world for 20 yrs) but also recoiling in disgust because he willingly associates with That Guy (terrible. turns out the people Out There believe that no person, however monstrous, is beyond recovery, whether or not reconciliation is possible)

cinte being groomed to assume the mantle of cruelty and power. cinte as the city of basedt's reductive metaphor for the root of all pain, but also ultimate driver of 'i suffered, so you All have to suffer' . the self-cannibalizing ouroboros of being just like his shitty, shitty mom, and not believing he can be better or deserves to be better. doing Exactly what was expected of him by self-destructing and plunging basedt into the eternal storm. ashe projecting onto the impulse to self-destruct that exists in cinte, because he sees himself in him, and they suffered together under the manazthati. ashe performing the "mercy-killing" of cinte i.e. cutting him up and scattering his bones to the four winds as a natural continuation of the things that Basedt has always done, and will continue to do. until morgan stops his hand and says 'maybe there's another way'

makame as basedt's ultimate social pariah, willingly self-isolating and also unwillingly isolated. makame having 0.4 oz of kinship with morgan and ashe and cinte for being outsiders, experiencing vague belonging for the first time in a long time, torn between craving connection and the urgent self-preservation instinct because ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm there is something deeply wrong with those guys (there is something deeply wrong with Me)

and somehow, because of or despite their efforts, and without their permission, the suffering does go away . and

[tumblunni]

How do I write an autistic villain without demonizing autism by accident? ;-;

I’m not really sure why you’re messaging this to me. I’m really sorry but I’m not an expert on like.. political stuff about autism stereotyping, just because I’m autistic. And it depends on which country you live in, I know that america has a far more visible sort of cultural presence for stereotypes, due to the whole Autism $peaks controversies. I dont live in america and I’m not super smart or anything, so yeah this is a disclaimer that this is just my opinion and you should probably research answers given by other people too. And maybe ask people about the specific circumstances of what you’re writing, like the context of the setting of the story and what the villain is like, etc. I’d be happy to chat to you about that if you need help! (but again, im no expert, lol)

ANYWAY!

My opinion on the subject is that having an autistic villain is perfectly fine, as long as you’re not villainizing autism. Like...* Don’t make the autism the reason theyre a villain.* Don’t make people scared of them because of the autism, rather than because they’re a villain.* Don’t treat their autistic traits as scary or inherantly villainous.* Don’t make anyone insult them for their autism and act like its justified because they’re evil.

And similarly its bad form to do any of that stuff in regard to any sort of minority really. An example that always bugged me is how Excellus from Fire Emblem Awakening is scary and evil because he’s a murderous monster, yet everyone in the game constantly insults him for the fact he acts ambiguously gay/transgender/effeminate. Like, there’s way too many jokes about people finding him ‘disgusting’ because of some random thing he can’t change, like a sexuality, race or mental illness which plenty of non-evil people have too! It also lessens his impact as a villain because the characters barely even address the actual villainous things he does, and he doesnt seem to have any motive at all. They just ride on the whole ‘the audience will find him gross’ thing as a crutch and forgot to bother writing a good villain.

Oh, and your concerns are indeed valid, yo! Sometimes it is important to think about the context you created a character in, even if you didnt intentionally create any negative messages within your writing.It’s just that the case where a character will be seen as villainizing [minority trait] for being a villain... that’s kind of only in a very specific circumstance? its just that this specific circumstance is very very common in mass media nowadays.It’s ‘The Smurfette Principle’.If you only have one character of a minority in your cast, its easy for an uninformed audience to pick up messages that you’re saying ALL members of that minority are the same as them.If you only have one autistic character and he’s the villain, then you might accidentally be villainizing him. In a world where autistic characters being villainized for their autism is already very common, people could just assume you made them autistic for the same reason all those other writers did- because they think it’s ‘scary’. It feeds the stereotype even if you didn’t conciously intend it that way.

So a very very easy way to fix this problem is just to add multiple characters of a minority into your story, filling various roles from villain to hero to helpful npc. or anything you can think of!

Another good quick fix is to have your villain be autistic, but portray their autistic traits as sympathetic/relateable/a humanizing aspect of them. Not just portraying it as something neutral that doesnt make them scary, but going out of your way to add some scenes showing how they’re just like anybody else. Or even making it one of their redeeming traits!It doesn’t have to outright be something like ‘yo being autistic makes me inherantly good and childlike’, which is a stereotype all to itself, lol. But you could show them experiencing predjudice from another character, in a way that makes the audience sympathise. Honestly having a character attack them for being autistic instead of being a villain would be a good way to do this, as long as that character is actually shown as being wrong for what they’re doing. Or simply showing the villain having common autistic traits, facing common problems, doing common everyday things... that can be enough to portray autism positively. Have them shown doing this stuff outside of the situation of them being villainous. It makes them feel more human and less of an abstract symbol of evil. And because these small glimpses of normality are lightening the mood, they become seen as a positive aspect!

KIND OF AN OFFTOPIC TANGEANT SORRYJust my personal experience as an autistic kid experiencing this story... I personally headcanoned Cyrus from pokemon as autistic. Not because he’s ‘scary and emotionless’, but because his backstory was relateable to me as an autistic person. It’s said that his parents were emotionally abusive, and that he had nobody to turn to because everyone thought he was ‘a creepy kid’. And he was able to find solace by obsessing over repairing machines in his bedroom, and apparantly has trouble understanding people because they can’t be fixed as easily. Stuff like maths and science are kind of a stereotypical Special Interest for autistic children to be given in fiction, I guess because it makes you seem more intelligent when you obsess about that instead of video games, norse mythology, or collecting tiny novelty spoons from around the world XD (Yeah i was a weird kid.)So yeah sorry I went a little offtopic there, but the point is that it might have been by accident instead of intention but that villain has a lot of traits that read as autistic. And when i first played Diamond and Pearl I actually disliked him a lot because of that, I felt like they were villainizing someone who seemed relateable and potentially redeemable. I mean, he seemed pretty depressed too! Give that man some therapy! But when I played Platinum and got to learn his backstory I started to feel like the writers actually did want us to feel sympathetic to him, because of how all those ‘scary’ traits were presented so sympathetically. Like.. the backstory isn’t that he became evil because he was an autistic kid who did creepy things like obsess about machinery and suck at social contact. No, he became a villain because he was abused by his parents, him being ‘weird’ is just intended to make it clear here that he didnt deserve it. It makes him pitiable, it makes him relateable, it makes you feel so much more frustrated that nobody listened to him and saved him from that hell, and nobody even seems to remember him fondly, just because he was ‘weird’. And hell, even his ‘emotion is evil’ philosophy seems very relateable to me as an autistic child. It seems like he learned to seclude himself to avoid angering his parents. That’s the impression I got from his final scene in Platinum, where he finally acts angry at you for beating him, then gets angry at himself for expressing emotion and forces himself to go back to how he usually talks. I get a bit pissed off whenever I see fans of the series claim he actually IS emotionless, lol! This scene made it clear to me that this is just a guy who WISHES he was emotionless, somehow seeing it as the only way to be free of pain. Someone who struggles to deal with his own emotions, or feels like he’s disgusting when he expresses them. And this is VERY relateable specifically to an autistic kid who suffered from an abusive parent! “Quiet Hands” is a kind of common concept that autistic kids might experience, that’s the name for a popular ‘parenting technique’ that really fucks people up. Focusing on making your kid never ‘act autistic’, rather than actually helping them understand things. ‘Quiet Hands’ is specifically about slapping or smacking your kid whenever they show stimming behaviour. (Hand flapping being a common way this symptom can manifest.) We’re taught never to be too loud, and to always always have to restrain ourselves to avoid embarassing our parents. We have to try and learn how to act like ‘normal people’ and become scared of harmless parts of our own brain just because theyre ‘embarassing’, leading to even worse emotional problems as an adult. i mean seriously how is it logical to tell a kid who has troubles with social interaction that they shouldnt even practise it?? Plus its a huge mess to teach these kids to do way more emotional labour than neurotypical kids are expected to do, and then treat them like they’re below average intelligence for not being able to do twice as much as everyone else...

ANYWAY! That’s a thinG! Sorry I went rambling off there about how a particular fictional character touched my heart, lol!I just kinda wish he could be canonically autistic, or if I had similar canonically autistic characters to relate to, instead. So i think having more autistic villains can’t be bad, we’re so badly in need of more autistic characters in general! And villains have a unique perspective of being able to hit our emotions the hardest. I think its easier to cry over someone who has a sad backstory of how they became evil, compared to anything else!So yeah what I was trying to say before I went offtopic is that if the backstory is ‘became evil because autism’, then people will complain. But if the backstory is ‘became evil because someone mistreated them because autism’ then that’s a good way to make people sympathise with autism. Aaaaand I’m bad at explaining this, because autism XD Well, i mean, my personal symptoms and lack of diagnosis til I was an adult means that I’m still working on learning how to communicate correctly, I don’t mean every autistic person writes terrible tl;dr advice posts that degrade into pokemon XDOh man i feel embarassed now, you asked me such a polite question and I didnt know how to answer it very well...I just hope maybe I inspired you to go out and do more research, rather than putting you off with my nonsense!