#im sorry if this doesn't make any sense or is difficult to reply to

[driftwccds]

closed  starter  for  OLIVER  (  @bvlladonnas  ) location  :  inherited  escapes

-ˋˏ ꒰ 🐚 ꒱ ── "  have  you  heard  of  this  one  ?  "  rohan  eagerly  slides  the  small  pile  of  books  he  gathered  onto  the  counter  between  him  and  the  familiar  bookseller,  tapping  a  few  fingers  in  a  frantic  rhythm  against  the  top  one.  at  the  same  time  he  slips  his  backpack  off  his  shoulder,  digging  his  wallet  from  the  top  in  one  fluid  motion,  "  i  read  an  article  about  it  in  the  new  yorker.  this  guy  writes  a  series  of  essays  about  different  people  who  collect  whalebones  off  beaches.  real  people  in  pick  up  trucks  looking  for  the  jaws  and  stuff──  the  big  parts  .  .  .  "  he  pauses  as  he  stands  back  up.  yeah,  rohan.  that  sounds  fascinating  to  nobody  except  you.  he  forces  a  nervous,  polite  smile,  "  and, um, the  other  one  was  your  staff  pick.  "  

[clovis-enthusiast]

Hi! What are your thoughts of a child of Aphrodite trying to pursue a relationship with Clovis? I feel like Clovis would be really shy/blushes profusely whenever he’s around them or whenever they try to make a move on him and he would try to deny it but will eventually accept it (also happy to find ur blog-made me more curious about Clovis!)

hi hi!! so sorry 4 the late reply, i hardly ever check my notifs if im not on my laptop T^T

im actually a HUGE fan of exploring clovis and aphrodite cabin dynamics!! i even ship mitchell, valentina, and drew with clovis (not all together ofc but as separate ships!) :D

ok ok so on one side we have a demigod whose godly parent is the literal embodiment of love and the other side we have a demigod whose parent is the literal embodiment of sleep; i think it's a very goofy and cute dynamic!!

here we have a demigod whose godly parent is LOVE thus making their life very motivated, inspired, and directed/guided by love (of all types!), and a kid who is lucky if he even knows what year it is. imagine being someone who has had so MUCH LOVE front and center in their life and being surrounded by half-siblings that share this trait with you and then you try to flirt with clovis 💀

since clovis seems to be very "go with the flow" and more in the dreamscape than reality at any given time, i think that would make it all the more difficult to even get him to even consider the possibility that flirting is what's going on let alone someone flirting with HIM. like he went through the trouble of showing nico the counselor meeting and didnt seem to notice that gee nico is rlly rlly focused on will weird. he's so relaxed and unbothered that detecting social cues or picking up on subtleties and viewing things as anything other than neutral demigod-to-demigod interactions just isn't something he particularly excels at. why would he need to? he's usually sleeping, so that sort of stuff doesn't concern him all that much because why would anyone be interested in him romantically much less flirt with him??? that doesn't make any sense??? so it's not so much him being unconfident or hard on himself as much as it is just his "logic."

that's how he regards his interactions with people in general... now once more: this is the APHRODITE cabin. they're generally nice, and even if it is flirting, aren't they all kinda flirty by nature? (not accurate in reality ik just bear with me here)

and for a while, DREW ran the cabin. the same drew who literally called clovis "repulsive" and seems to have some beef or just general dislike for him. with her being the head counselor (and even when she steps down, she's still an older camper with influence in her cabin) and thus being who clovis might immediately associate the cabin with due to interactions as a fellow head counselor, it seems unlikely that anyone from that cabin thinks that highly of him. and if they did, could it be a form of rebellion AGAINST drew and not actual general interest? or just some sort of cruel joke or even just the easy way out of that weird old aphrodite tradition?

i also headcanon clovis as just. Chill. Unbothered. Not Aware of Social Norms in general. he's the type to hug/lean on his friends lazily, cuddle with ppl he doesn't even know all that well at the campfire bc they're comfy, offer to share his bed with someone who is having nightmares, etc. just bc he has far less experience with actual human interaction as opposed to dreams where he can control them as he wishes. who is he to say someone isn't just being friendly/polite to him or thats just how ppl act?

that all being said though, people wanting/trying to keep him up long enough to talk to him, get to know him, or hang out with him as opposed to just to get some sleep, help with dreams/nightmares, or info on gods and whatnot, IS something unusual enough for him to notice. so when a nice, pretty aphrodite camper visits him and asks to go strawberry picking or sits by him at the campfire or asks him about HIS dreams or compliments him with no hint of malice/dishonesty in their voice, THAT can be enough to catch his attention. and THAT is when the ✨️confused flustering✨️ occurs.

this eepy boy is touch-starved, friend-starved, all KINDS of starved AND honestly just taken for granted/neglected when it comes to living in a camp full of adhd kiddos with demigodly powers so when someone whose godly parent is LOVE starts showing affection and attention to him? WOWIE UHHHH WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO????? and i think that's a lot of what gets him so flustered in such new, intense interactions: the whys? and what do i do's? and even the how does this make me feels? and do i really deserve this's? getting all worked up with that sort of stuff in ur head is gonna stress ya out and stress makes ya... well... exhausted. sleepy.

i think it would def take a LOT of time and patience when it comes to anyone pursuing a child of hypnos romantically, and i think the aphrodite cabin is just the right type of ppl to take on that challenge. being experts in all sorts of different forms of love whereas clovis is mostly only ever by himself in the land of make-believe so to speak, they're the perfect types of demigods to help clovis explore uncharted waters and be gentle and kind enough to not be too pushy to make him uncomfortable but just pushy enough to make sure he knows that hey, im being flirted with, that's something that can happen and i am worthy of having happen to me, and help him figure out his love languages (while also enjoying the cute reactions during this process uwu).

and when it comes to teasing/flustering, the possibilities for silly pet names ("dreamboat/dreamboy", "sleeping beauty", "bedhead" (affectionately), etc) and cheesy pick-up lines ("you must be tired from running through my dreams all night" "I've never met someone as cute as you; pinch me i must be dreaming" "aren't you the sweetest dream I've ever had", etc.) are endless and hilarious. whether or not he actually picks up on it or it goes whoooosh over his poor sleepy widdle head, at least it's entertaining.

and in the end, i doubt there are truly many other significant others who would be as gentle, comforting, comfortable, thoughtful, and soft all the way around as the gods' eepiest soldier.

this is kinda lackluster bc im tired myself and i havent spent time actually sitting down and writing up concepts in YEARS so i might answer this question again sometime with a better response and better concepts and ideas!! my brain's all rusty lo siento T~T but thanks for the question!! I'm always down to talk abt my BOYYYYYY!!!!!

and aaaa that last part made me so happy u have no idea im always so grateful when i can remind ppl that Clovis exists or make them reconsider him as an important or special character 🥹💛

[one-abuse-survivor]

Hi i really dont know how to feel about my mom. Shes kinda abusive ig i mean she has hit me before and shes verbally abused me more times than i can count, but shes less worse than dad so i think i just have a soft spot for her and its like its killing me lmao. she just lost her mum, and she has to do it all alone. the whole planning, and dealing with the ashes and bills and so so so many phone calls. shes very stressed out atm, and as ive started work lately, i feel like we've become sm closer and idk i wish i could fully forget all the bad shes done to me so i can just relax when its good. she snapped at me last night twice, calling me horrible things and threatening to punch me and stuff, and ik shes so stressed out but it still hurts inside and idk how to feel about it all. im autistic and i see things pretty black and white, and shes a grey colour and its just difficult for me to process it all and form an opinion cos shes 'supposed' to be one or the other, not both. (ik this is a false thing dw haha ik people cant fully be bad and fully be good lol) she vented to me before work today telling me how bad dads treating her, like he only cares about himself and isnt helping her with her grief at all. he just sits in the living room all day ranting to her about transgender people and black people and politics and she hates it. (hes every -phobe and -ist you can think of lmao) i just dk how to help or how to feel or just anything lol. im having a hard time atm myself and its just so stressful to have to always be the grown up around my parents. i have to always stay calm, i have to be the mediator, i have to calm them and comfort them and offer them solutions for their problems, i have to be their parent and its exhausting. ik theyre both orphans rn but i feel its unfair to use your own kids as your 'new parents' lol. its always been like this but its just more so now than before. i just cant cut myself off from my mum as shes in charge of everything in the house, and shes my mum, yk? shes had the short end of the stick her whole life and i just want to hug her and protect her but she hurts me a lot and im just torn between wanting her away from me for the rest of my life and wanting to be as close to her as i can, for her sake. idk if it makes much sense lol but i hope youre doing well and thank you for all the time an effort you put into answering the asks 💕

Hi, nonnie! Sorry I took so long to reply. Everything you shared here makes perfect sense. It's always hard for abuse victims to come to terms with the fact their abusive parents aren't all black or white but grey, and I can only imagine how much harder that is to deal with when you're autistic. I'm really glad you understand she can be grey, even if it's hard to come to terms with. That's already a really big step you've taken, and I hope you're proud of that!

It really sounds like your parents have parentified you—that is, they've forced you to take on the parent role in the house, emotionally. When this happens, it's not uncommon to feel the way you express at the end of your ask: like even though they've hurt you, you want to take care and protect them for their sake. And I'm really sorry you're going through this, nonnie. It's a horrible way to feel, and I can really relate, because I felt that way with my mother as well.

I don't know if this will help to hear, but through recovery, I've found that the longer you stay away from that parent, the easier it becomes to not feel so worried about them, responsible for them, or guilty for leaving them. The guilt was especially crushing for me years ago, and now it's completely non-existent except on special occasions (mainly when I have to see her again for any reason).

And I know you probably already know this, at least deep down, but nonnie, your mom is abusive. Your dad being even worse than her doesn't change that fact. The fact that your mom has had it really hard in life might explain her abusive behaviours, but it doesn't justify them. They're both abusive in different ways, and you deserve so much better than the way both of them have been treating you.

Sending a big, big hug and all my support your way ❤️

[vemuabhi]

Wait... somebody hold my pasta! Requets are opennnn! Bello, how are you?? I hope you are doing well!

I was wondering if I could ask for a Killer x Reader fic! I thought like, the reader is the new cook and Killer keeps hovering around like she's poisoning the food idk hahaha In reality, he just wants to be around, but doesn't know how to tell her.

Any special touches are so welcome! And please, take your time writing. I know you are swamped with requests and I'm not going anywhere haha Sorry for the gigantic ask!!

Thank you! Wishing you all the inspiration and love! 💙

Hello author san! Im happy to see you here in my box! This is my very first time writing for our favourite Pastaboy!! Im so excited to write for him. I hope its good and I hope you like it @holykillercake swan~~

MR. MASK

Pairing: Killer X Reader

Warning: none. Its Killer fluff!!

Word count: 2.3K

Likes/votes, comments, shares/reblogs are appreciated!

Summary : being the new cook of the Kidd pirates, comes with a very suspicious and also a curious mask dude.

"Yes. I know that and I added extra sugar for Kidd", you replied to the mask dude who was telling you, the official cook for the crew, how to make coffee for the captain.

"Just making sure", he said and started to make pasta.

"I could make it for you", you said.

"Its alright. I can do it myself. You can now go and serve the coffee to the gang", he replied without even looking at you.

'This jerk... why the hell is he like this?', you cursed under your breath and went to the rowdy gang. Mornings were the only time of the day, the assholes didn't drink.

"Heat! Wire! Wake up!!", you knocked the door and went inside. The roomies had a drowsy look on their faces. But ofcourse these two and Killer mostly stayed up guarding the ship.

Then you went to Kidds cabin and knocked once before entering.

"Captain, wake up", you said and carefully placed the hottest mug on the side of the night stand. He just grunted and turned. You knew, once Kidd woke up his drink would turn warm. So his was extra hot than others.

Once when a traitor was about to kill Kidd in his sleep, the first mate used the boiling hot coffee which was on the captains stand just in time. So... its not only a drink but also a weapon.

You quickly handed the rest of the crew, their mugs and went to the kitchen to brew the stew for the breakfast. Yes ofcourse it was wished by Kidd himself the day before.

You saw the first mate eating his pasta peacefully with his mask on. Before you were the cook, he cooked for the crew and this became his habbit to eat before the crew. He never removed his mask. Not once he revealed his face.

It would be a lie, if you said you weren't interested how he looked like and why he wore his mask always. But slowly you got used to him and his behaviour around you.

He always told you what to add and always asked what you were making. His special interest to the ingredients was weird. He looked at the ingredients and cut them for you everytime. As if you'd poison the food, if he wasn't around.

You were getting pissed by his actions day by day. You went to the stove and continued to stir the stew.

The breakfast was hectic with the rowdy crew and their massive appetite. You did feel someone staring at you once in a while. There would be 2 people if you felt like someone is staring at you. One being heat and other, the blond. Heat sat beside you, so you knew it wasnt him. And you made sure Heat could over come his shyness and ask you for food instead of staring.

You turned to look at Killer and yes, his mask was facing you. You shook your head and continued to eat the food.

And after a bit of training with Heat and Wire, you went to the kitchen to make lunch.

You got irritated when you saw the vegetables already cut. It was the work of Killer and you couldn't do anything but to sigh. You quickly started to mix the already cut veggies with the spices.

Making the Lunch was a bit peaceful. Because during this time, Killer and Kidd used to talk about some upcoming events and handled some paperwork. Sometimes they would build machines or new types of weapons.

The dinner was again a bit difficult. You could cut the vegetables this time but, he'd come to the kitchen and ask you what you were making. Sometimes he used to read books during this time. Sometimes it felt weird if... he wasn't in the kitchen.

Just like everyday after dinner, you now sat in the kitchen alone and looked at the new recipes, thinking what to make tomorrow. And like a routine, Heat came towards the Kitchen and stared at you for a few seconds before calling you.

"Hey.. Y/N", you immediately looked at him and knew what he was about to say. So you got up and went towards the fridge.

"Can I have any leftover dessert you made today", he asked as you closed the door with the dessert in your hands.

Walking towards him you placed the food before him and sat opposite to him.

He smiled happily and took a bite of the dessert and started to eat it with delight.

Yes you loved to see people enjoy the food you make. So you always made sure to save a portion for him.

You decided to ask Heat the question you had for months.

"Heat, can I ask you something"

He swallowed the dessert in his mouth and nodded.

"So... its actually about Killer", you said. Heat curiously leaned over to listen to you.

So, actually.. i feel like he is really suspicious of whatever I do and its really bothering me", you said before closing the cook book and sitting straight.

"How can he be so suspicious even after I am here for more than 4 months. I mean, if he has any problem with me, he needs to tell me right. What should I do? ", you ended with an ask and looked at him curious eyes.

He took another bite of the dessert and started to think carefully.

Finally he answered by saying, "I am pretty sure Killer is not doubting you. Maybe its better if you ask him"

"Why do you think its not the case?"

"Well, if it was... you wouldn't be alive. Its as simple as that."

'Damn that makes perfect sense. Why didn't I think like that', you mentally facepalmed yourself.

"Y/N, I believe there is something else. Why not just ask him", he suggested taking another bite.

"Yeah... thanks", you smiled at him and leaned back into your chair as you continued, "ill do that"

But ofcourse. It wasn't that easy to ask Killer. So a few days passed and one evening, the crew reached an island.

After docking, Kidd wanted to get drunk and fight other drunkards in the bar. Thinking it was a good chance to slip out of the place. The island was beautiful and the stars started to twinkle in the sky.

You walked aimlessly in the streets, which were a bit dark but still were beautiful. You didn't have to be scared. You are strong. One of the Kidd pirates. The one who always trains with the super soldiers heat and wire.

Then a park caught your attention. Walking in it you saw a slide.

'Ha... memories', you thought as you walked towards it.

The next thing you knew was you climbing up on the slide. You were ready to slide down it then you noticed the mask staring at you. You didn't know what to do. Your mind was blocked with the embarrassment. Still you slid down. Oh my... the 2 seconds slide was definitely awkward.

Both of you were so silent and just kept staring at eachother, with a blank expression.

You swore you could see his shoulders shaking. Was he... trying to hold back his laughter?

"What is so funny?", you asked with your cheeks flushed pink.

Damn he turned to another side to avoid looking at you, while he still tried to hold his laugh.

"I.. I just felt like... playing because its been a while", you tried to explain yourself while folding your arms. Then he slowly turned to look at you.

"I... didn't ask you anything", he said folding his arms.

"Tsk... why did you come here anyway?", you asked but you didn't receive any answer. You started to walk towards the swing now. He quietly followed you a few steps behind. Well you got caught so, there is no reason to hide or sacrifice the urge to play.

You sat on the swing and looked at him slowly coming towards you.

"Killer! Push the swing up high", you asked.. more like ordered.

He stood behind you in a blink of an eye and pushed the swing forward. It had been so long since you played like this.

The cool breeze felt so good. You chuckled as soon as he pushed you a bit higher. Oh how it felt like music to his ears.

After a while you asked him to stop it. You tripped as you felt a bit dizzy after swinging for so long. Ofcourse Killer was there to make sure you didn't fall down. You tapped his shoulder and made him to sit on the swing.

"Now It's your turn", you declared.

"Woah, you don't have to", he said but you didn't care and pushed the swing forward. If Killer didn't have his mask on, you could've looked at how he blushed at your actions.

Then you suddenly thought about what Heat told you. You decided it was the correct time to ask him as it was neither awkward nor anyone interrupted you two.

"So, Killer I wanted to ask you something for a while now", you saw that Killer definitely flinched when you said it.

"Wh..what is it?", he replied trying to keep him as calm as ever.

"Do you not trust me?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, you are always in the kitchen, asking me what I was doing, what I was adding, what ingredients I was using. It feels like you don't trust me", you pushed him again but he stopped to swing, by placing his legs on the ground.

"Oh no! I do trust you. I never thought you'd misunderstand my actions", he said facing you. You gave him a confused expression for which, he turned away and sighed.

"I was... trying to help you", he mumbled.

Your cheeks turned red at his answer. Then everything made sense. The way he always tried to make you know what the crew liked. How he cut veggies and other items for you. How he made his own pasta to lessen your work.

'God damn it! Now that I think, Ofcourse he was helping me', you started to curse yourself inside.

"So... you didn't knew it", his faced down looking at the ground beneath him.

"Im sorry. Killer please forgive me", you crouched before him and looked up at his mask. 'Aww how sad he seemed now.

"I'm sorry I didn't notice that you were helping me", you said taking his hand in yours.

"Its alright. It might've been my fault. I am this weird looking mask dude. No wonder you got scared"

"No no Killer. Its not because of your mask. Its not your fault. It was my fault. You are calm and collected. You always analyse things before hand. You solve fights between the crew members. You always did help me. You were always around me and made sure I didn't feel uncomfortable. You are an amazing cook and a great partner", you ended saying it.

Well with the last part you got carried away and got real close to his mask. As if you were kissing his mask.

Oh damn. You pulled back but... you were damn fricking sure, you saw shiney light blue eyes.

"Thanks Y/N", he said getting up and as you both still held hands, he pulled you up.

He placed his other hand on your waist to make sure you had balence before letting you go. He waved to you and started to walk towards the exit.

For some reason, you felt like, you'd really miss something if you just let him go now. As if... you'd not see him like always. Your legs worked their way and now you were running behind Killer.

"Killer stop!", you said and he tuned back to look at you. You couldn't stop your legs and almost tackled him down. But he was way too strong for you to tackle him down. So now, his arms were supporting you. Again!

You almost died with embarrassment but... you had to tell him.

"I didn't hate it", you said but he didn't reply. More like he didn't even know what to reply. Or... he didnt even understand what you meant.

"I didn't hate when you helped me. Infact I... liked it. Thanks for helping me then and also from now on too. So please do stay with me", you ended the sentence with looking down at the ground. It was quiet for a while.

'The fuck... why did it sound like a-'

"Is this a confession?", he asked

Your cheeks turned red at his question.

"Ah- I... But...", you struggled to come with an answer then you noticed his shoulders shaking again.

"Idiot! Dont laugh!", you shoved him back and started to walk away.

"Hey wait. No one dared to shove me and walk away", he said and followed you. You smirked at that and continued to walk with your head up.

He then continued, "Well.... except for Kidd, when he is on his period"

This shit made you to crack up and you laughed.

"Damn Kidd would kill you", you said as you placed your hand in his and you two continued to talk. You felt so warm in your heart when you held Killers hand.

Maybe something was about to start between you two.

Meanwhile in the bar of the island.

"*Achoo* I hope I didn't catch a cold", Kidd said as he snatched a drink from another person and started to make a ruckus in the bar.

XOXOXOXO

I hope you enjoyed reading this story. I hope I made justice to my very first Killer fic. I enjoyed writing so much for Killer. He is a comfort charecter of mine after Sanji. I tried so much to get a good plot for Killer.

Like/vote, comment, share/reblog to support me.

Follow for more!

[thinkofitasablessing]

I love him in a way I never felt for anyone when I look at him it just blows my mind away I wonder if there's anyone more beautiful in whole world and I know even if I searched the whole world no one else can be more beautiful I know its my love which is making him special but can't help this I have never found any man more beautiful than him maybe I never truly loved anyone I write poems about him when I think of him poetry just flows from my pen it was him definitely who made me fall in love with I said I'm not ready I'm scared he kept showing me that how much he loves me for literally more than 8 months so I also fell in love with him too he showed me how much he loves and used to say that there's no one else that make him feel the way I do but I wonder why his love changed he wouldn't reply for two weeks saying he was busy he started reacting in anger over things instead of understanding he wouldn't listen to me instead of solving the problem his behavior made me worried I asked my friend to check him I was worried he isn't being sincere with me and he starred melting for her even just in 2 days and said to her I love you and all while he was talking to me he said her that I'm so happy I found you I wonder if he was fooling me or her whatever this thing made me so disgusted with him but I still can't help and get rid of his love I feel so bad about myself because I'm the kind of girl who has ignored guys all her life and only had a reserved nature stern nature I never had any male friends and didn't even talk to guys in my class I always had stern nature while talking just work related as our religion says but I wonder why I'm head over heals love in him when he doesn't has any qualities I wanted in my man I said why are you searching clues for fight he got mad over it and said its all in your brain and it will never change I asked so many sorry's and I said I will never do this again we will sort things and when you're angry I won't react back etc you shouldn't just go over this argument it was always me saying him sorry's mostly over arguments and avoided arguments in all costs but he blocked me I messaged him from other accounts telling him how much he mean to me how much I love him how much there can be no one else and I can't marry anyone else I told him how much he means to me sending very very long paragraphs but he didn't reply and just blocked me from every where I know he isn't treating me right but I feeeeel so in love with him even I had the option to choose anyone from world I would choose him over and over again and I wish that he realizes what he lost and comes back because I feel there's no one else that can love her the way I do I could be just sitting there just looking at him and nothing in the whole world would amuse me more than that just being with him is enough to make me happy should I pray that he comes back and love me rightly because I'm sure he will realize one day that no other women can forgive love and tolerate him the way I can shohld I pray that he comes back or forget him I feel so confused and lost.

I understand and this happens. And im sorry for what you have been through. You know people are difficult to understand. Sometimes they pretend that they love you and it is just to fill the void and they do everything to impress you and make you understand that they are worth trusting but they are just having fun with your feelings and sometimes they really do love you and you know the rest if someone really wants to stay with you. as you mentioned about your friend that he said he loved her. So you better come back to your senses because it wasn’t really love what he is doing. Its more of a game that hes been playing. Because when someone likes you for who you are then there shouldn’t be any reason to avoid you.

Its not good for your mental health to think about a person who doesn’t even want to see your messages. It was never love that 8 months. They were prolly using you as a back up and i know its hurtful but you gotta understand how the world has become.

You into someone and that someone is into someone else . And loyalty lies nowhere. What you can do is make dua for not falling into these traps. Because you have a heart and when it’s hurt then you can't take it. Just make Dua for the betterment of yourself.

Try forgetting him because he was nothing but a passing cloud and its not possible for you to stop him and make him love you back.

And you dont have to be sorry to him for anything because when you say sorry then you will lose him even more… and its because he gets strong and makes you look like you are at fault from the very beginning.

In your life some things are not meant to happen…

No matter how hard you try. There is always a big NEVER waiting for you.

May Allah bless you with a pious spouse who will love you unconditionally.

[sequs-art-box]

I rewrote this platonic sandycloak fanfic I did a while back. This one is way better I promise hdjfjdjf

"... I-I'm sorry…"

The words barely made their way out of Clay's lips. His eyes averted from the tall man that stood directly in front of him, fingers firmly gripping the brim of his hat.

Nothing but confusion was affixed on Burgh's face. 

"Sorry...? For what?" He inched closer, idling for an answer.

Shit- Hrrr nnnn UGH- Dammit- Don't apologize! That's just gonna bewilder 'im more! What the hell do I even say now!? Clay's mind was racing to find a proper response, but nothing came to his head. 

Great.

What was there to say anyway? He can't just blurt out an "I don't feel the same." That would crush him. But at the same time, they've only known each other for…. 

…

His thoughts seemed to be overwhelming him; he didn't register that his hands were being clenched by Burgh until it was too late. It made him snap back into reality in an instant; he felt the slightest crimson in his cheeks as his eyes automatically became glued at the artist's worried gaze once again.

Burgh let out a delicate sigh, tugging Clay's arduous hands into his chest. The fabric of his shirt was as soft as always…

He wished he could say the same for his stare. 

"Please, if you have something to say, say it. I can take it." Clay can sense the anxiety in his voice.

This reassurance doesn't feel right. It didn't even make him feel alleviated. Why… Why was it so difficult to spill your guts out? He knows he ain't one to sugarcoat things. And Burgh knows how cold he can be. C'mon. Jus' be honest. Get it over with. Stop bein' a fuCKIN-

…

stop.

…

Maybe it was because of the person who was standing in front of him. Yeah, that was… Definitely it. He couldn't help it. Not that anyone would be able to. Especially considering how close they were.

Hmph.

Clay couldn't handle these raw emotions any longer. If it's gonna end like this, so be it.

He gradually slid his hands out of the other man's soft grasp. A harsh sigh followed soon after.

"Look… Burgh… We've known each other fer… Six, er... Eight months. An' I never got t' know anyone else like ya in years. I don' really know how t' put it, but… Ya make me feel special..." He scoffed. 

A man like Clay, considered to be a ruthless businessman, actin' like a big ol' softie. He doesn't show this side often, which made him feel hilariously stupid.

Even if it flustered him, A smile cracked onto the miner's face; it was pointless to try and hide it. Being genuine was the way to go. Besides, his friend knew him too well anyway.

These words gave Burgh a rush of relief, as his gaze of anxiety slowly started to fade away into the adoring smile the businessman always remembered. Now it was his turn for his cheeks to turn red.

 "I could say the same thing about you. This is why I- l-like you so much..." 

The other man chuckled. "Heh, I really like ya too. But…" Oh gosh.

"But…?"

"But- I- Eh-"

Clay struggled yet again, but he knew he dug too deep to back out.

The only thing that was keeping him from collapsing under the weight of the shame he felt was Burgh...

Don' blow this now.

"... Eight months is a long while, 't really is. We've grown closer than ever durin' that period since- I've learnt so much 'bout ya. Yer an amazin' person, Burgh, and spendin time with ya is somethin' I wouldn't trade fer anythin' in the world. Yet, I ain't really ready to move on from what we got right now. Got a lot on my plate, y'know…?"

He looked up at the artist to see if he was listening, which was a mistake because he caught him quietly staring with curiosity and compassion. Clay's blush had to be obvious now.

He cares about ya. Keep goin'...

"And... 'm happy that ya said what ya wanted to say. You knew keepin' it in any longer would've caused a couple hiccups. I like that about ya.. But like I said a few seconds ago, I don' think I'm emotionally prepared, so... If ya could please jus' gimme a bit more time fer this t' play out a little longer, fer me t' process this a little better, I'd really appreciate it…"

Shoving the weight of nervousness off his shoulders, Clay could finally relax a little and proceeded to gently lace their fingers together. 

Silence.

The tiniest of tears made its way out of Burgh's eyes. He placed his other hand on top of the one laced with Clay's. Despite what he does for a living, his hands felt softer than he thought. How is that even possible...

"I- I'm sorry too…"

Huh?

"Clay, I- I shouldn't have tried to rush into things like that. I just… Thought we really had something already…"

"W-we do, b-"

"I know. But I never knew how you'd take it. I tend to overthink things, and…. Agh…" He felt his cheeks getting warmer every second, and moved a hand over his face in embarrassment, swiftly brushing his hair with his fingers. "I don't know why I didn't comprehend how much time you really needed, but… I'm glad you didn't push me away when you had every right to." 

They didn't realize it, but they were unconsciously trekking closer and closer while they conversed. 

Clay rested his hand on Burgh's shoulder. He never had a more bold, yet reassuring stare in his life.

"Hey, c'mon. Don' apologize fer all that hooey. I get it. As long as we know our boundaries movin' forward, I ain't gonna push you away. Ever.  I'm hopin' ya know that this won't change anythin' between us, okay?"

The other man couldn't help but smile, as he caressed the big guy in a hug.

"Of course."

The two stood there, simply enjoying the warmth of each other. This is the first time they actually hugged. It felt… Exhilarating...

"I jus' need some time…" he whispered against his shoulder.

"And I'll give you all the time you need." Burgh replied, placing a tiny peck on his cheek.

...

"Thanks…"

[antlerqueer]

hello! i just saw the discussion about certain people being latines or not ant maybe you should enter to the last b*lla th*rn*'s instagram update to know what latinos (born latinos and not descendents) think about this issue. and thank you for being open about this.

Sorry this took so long to answer! For those reading along at home, you can find the original post about this ( here ), and the link to the replacement fc grid to see the post referenced in the original ( here ). And if you click ( here ) you’ll see b*lla th*rne’s insta post with further discussion!

The summary of all of this is: Latine is a distinct ethnicity recognized in the USA because they have different experiences than other races and ethnicities based on their experiences as someone whose family is from Latin America. Their nationality (or home country) may not be Latine, but their cultural identity and how they experience the world is unique because of their ties to their Latine roots. Ethnicity in the US refers to what someone’s ethnic lineage is, and Nationality refers to where you are more directly from. When I say those fcs are Latine, I am referring to their ethnicity.

As an example, my ethnicity is German, Ashkenazi Jewish, and some other European stuff. My nationality is that I’m from the US, an American.

I reached out to some folks who are from and live in Latin American countries to talk about this, as well as some folks who are from the US and use latine to describe themselves, and these are some quotes from that conversation that I think covers both my post and this ask. These are all direct quotes, edited only for emphasis and to condense parts that didn’t make sense (outside convo) for those who are skimming:

“so im mexican, born and raise and still living in here, and i have mixed feeling about these

because 'latine' its a cultural thing, so if you are part of that culture you are latine, like you born in the unite states both both of your parents are latine and they teach you stuff

but at the same time, being born here, there is such an idea of 'them' and 'us'

i think that there are some latine things you can only live being born and raised here

but that doesn't make your identity less valid if you born or live somewhere else ”  - @crypticgifs ( who i’ll be referring to by name, Sof, from now on )

@whatsernamerps​ (Lu) also clarified where we may be having a disconnect in communication:“ we don't really think of that concept [of ethnicity being different than nationality] but three out of four of my grandparents have family in Italy, while my other grandparent's family came from Spain

I have Italian citizenship, too, but as for ethnicity... I was born and raised in Argentina

we don't have that division tbh [between ethnicity and nationaltity]”

@lexluthoronlyfans (Luu) also had what i thought was a pretty good reply when talking about ethnicity versus nationality: “there is a difference between latines raised on south america and latines raised elsewhere. this is a basic thing that everyone understands. this happens to every minority group in the history of existance and this doesn't erase the fact that they're latines, just like it wouldnt erase the cultural history or ethnicity of any minority group. i've seen this argument before. usually it's about white latines, specially if they're mixed (like if they have an american parent) to me it's rooted in racism and classism ("my kid isn't like those bad latines, in fact they're barely latine at all") [...] to say they're not latine is straight up wrong, in case that needs clearing up. i think that the relationship latines have with their cultural heritage makes, in some cases, difficult separating ethnicity from nationality. close-minded people who don't want to think about this for over five minutes want to classify people easier (bella is white, and was born in usa, so she isnt latine, nevermind who her parents are, or her personal life experiences). The people that do this need to think about how erasing or lessening someone's place in a culture will never be a good thing. They're still latine. and see how much of the nuance is about people who are white or white passing? It's bc people don't give this much thought to people who are othered. there is also cultural elitism (rarer) by latines who think ppl who raised their kids in other countries as traitors. I think i don't need to explain to anybody how stupid that is”

For future asks, I do recommend reaching out to folks who identify as Latine because I have a hard time answering them because I fear stepping out of my lane! I am very grateful to Lu, Luu, Jess, Kit, and Sof for helping me put this together.

Edited on 16 July to add commentary from Lucía about a remark I had “included about no distinction between nationality & race/ethnicity with no discrimination based on race/ethnicity in argentina specifically” -- since my answer was quoting a white Argentinean i missed the mark. More below:

“you’re wrong by saying only national discrimination exists in argentina, it’s also racial and ethnic 100% and latin america, especially argentina, does have an understanding of ethnic and racial categories too. there are so many distinctions made in argentina on what you cannot and can do based on your ethnicity, white argentines take pride in being german/spanish/italian and look down on their non european counterparts”.

Find her full, original message ( here )