#im sooooooo fucking normal i swear

[king-sassy08]

Just vibing and look at my Spotify on repeat and. Bro I might be depressed

[0wie]

Knockout mechpreg taking over my normal brain. My brain that is normal

[bakuraryxu]

Heya! Here’s a link to the American psycho homosexuality thesis:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/11oksvBrASA6YhZwBu31TadSDBcik3PLjx_lTwppolHI/mobilebasic

Written by @dilfpassing . Obtained from this tumblr post (oh it’s yours haha): https://www.tumblr.com/bakuraryxu/732196126939332608/dilfpassing-dilfpassing-synthicyde-vicholas

OMG I was desperately scrambling for this link ty 😭😭😭😭

[saroswritingshit]

sentences for yesterday's WIP Wednesday game

if you're unfamiliar with the game, i post filenames of my WIPs and people send requests, and i have to add 3 sentences to that file for each request. except this week i'm doing double because i want to suffer apparently

fucked up doorkeay… for @balthazarusrex @stonemaskedtaliesin

He killed a few hours wandering the streets, wandering into and out of any stores that seemed interesting. He made sure to keep an eye on the time. He wasn’t going to be late for a date. Not a date, he reminded himself. Hell, he didn’t even know if Michael liked guys. Not a date. Just… an outing.

Gerry got to the Institute a few minutes past five to find Michael waiting in front of the building, fidgeting with his clothes. “Hey,” he called as he walked over.

“Oh! Hi!” Michael said, walking over to meet him. “So… did you have anywhere in mind?”

“No, not really, I don’t know this part of the city that well.”

“Oh, well, there’s this place I like, it’s a bit of a hike though.”

“That’s fine.”

im sooooooo normal abt them for @somefishycat @twyrewolf @nonbinary-octopus @batteredrugosa

Tim ignored him, cupping Jon's face in his hands and gently turning it towards him. Jon’s eyes were wide, uncertain. He lifted a hand and placed it over Tim’s. Their faces were so close. Tim could feel Jon’s warm, rapid breaths on his lips.

They froze like that for a moment, looking into each others’ eyes, tasting the alcohol on each other’s breath, the yearning almost tangible in the small space between them.

Then Tim closed the gap, leaning in, and when his lips met Jon’s it felt so so good.

Their bodies pressed together, and they could feel each other’s hearts pounding. Jon kissed him back, passionately — no, desperately, as if this could somehow fix everything — their shattered relationship, but also everything else that had gone wrong. Like if they could just get close enough he would finally feel okay again.

Tim ran his hands through Jon’s hair, and Jon let out a small sigh. His hand came up to rest gently on Tim’s face.

He shifted closer, pulling Jon into him. His complicated feelings towards him were temporarily forgotten, drowned out by the pleasure and safety of being so close to someone who wanted him as much as he wanted them.

Then, too soon, Jon pulled away, gasping for air. “We can’t do this,” he whispered, not making eye contact

“What?”

“You’re drunk,” Jon said, shifting further away.

“I— that’s not—” Tim struggled to find the right words, words that would make Jon stay, kiss him again. “Please.”

“No. No. We can’t — I can’t. I have to go,” Jon said, backing towards the door. “Thanks for — thank you.”

Tim watched him go, feeling empty and betrayed.

Sasha gets distortioned au for @eriquin @asha10100101010 @oriharaizayadividesintoslytherin

How long had she been wandering these strange hallways? She didn’t feel tired, but she thought she should be. It was hard to keep track of time, when there was nothing but infinite corridors, when she did nothing but put one foot in front of the other again and again and again.

She tried to count her steps, but she kept losing track. Something about this place made it hard to keep the numbers in her brain.

The longer Sasha walked, the more sure she became that these hallways weren’t safe. It almost felt as if the walls themselves wanted to swallow her.

Would she be here forever? Perhaps she’d already been lost for days, or weeks even. Perhaps she would just wander until she died, never make it back to the real world.

She wondered if there were others. Perhaps if she walked long enough, she’d find a decaying corpse. At least then she’d know she wasn’t just walking in circles. Sometimes she passed a painting she could swear she recognised, but it was hard to tell. Maybe she was just repeating the same stretch of corridor over and over.Was she dreaming? That would explain why she wasn’t tired. She couldn’t remember ever feeling this hot in a dream, though.

[started nov 19] attempt three !! for @catboy-jupiter @auburnlaughter @zyrafowe-sny @aparticularbandit @wizisbored @tamsinwriting

“If you say so.” Ro picked up the first cardboard box out of the back of Olive’s parents’ car and started lugging it towards the front door. Even put together they didn’t own that many things, so it didn’t take long to bring everything inside, especially with Olive’s parents helping.

“Are you guys gonna be okay?” Olive’s mom fussed, hovering by the car door.

“We’ll be fine, Mom,” Olive assured her.

She pulled Olive into one last hug. “Oh, my little girl is growing up so big!”

“Yeah,” Olive agreed, squirming away.

“Okay, we’ll pick up some groceries for you guys and then come drop them off, alright?”

“Mom, you really don’t have to—”

“Nonsense, we need to go shopping anyhow. I love you Olive! Take good care of her, Rowan.”

“I will, Ms. Hemsworth!” Ro grinned, waving. Olive’s mom blew a kiss to her daughter then climbed back into the car. Olive’s dad grinned and waved as they drove away.

“Sorry about them,” Olive muttered.

“Don’t worry about it,” Ro said, holding the door for their friend. “At least your parents actually showed.”

“I’m sorry—”

It’s fine,” Ro cut her off.

There was an awkward pause that ended with the sound of a key in the lock. The door swung open, and a girl with uneven short brown hair strode in, carrying a large suitcase.

“Hey! You must be Levi,” Olive said. “I’m Olive, and this is Ro,” Olive said, gesturing over her shoulder. Ro grinned and waved.

Levi nodded to them. “Hi. I appreciate you guys sharing this apartment with me,” she said, trying to feign confidence. She wasn’t sure how well it worked.

“Yeah, well, you know how it is, the economy and whatever,” Ro said, sitting on one of the boxes. “We couldn’t afford this place on our own.”

“Well, thanks anyhow.”

“Speaking of sharing an apartment, have either of you heard from Avery?” Olive asked.

“She texted me. She’s coming later,” Ro said. “You know about Avery, right, Lee?”

“I got your email. And don’t call me Lee,” Levi said coldly. She walked over to her suitcase and grabbed the handle. “Bedrooms are upstairs, yes?”

“Woah, I think we should choose rooms all together,” Ro said, scrambling to get between Levi and the stairs.Olive laughed. “Right. I know you just want to make sure you get the biggest one.”

[desceros]

not me going feral over the idea of Donnie and viola Chan going to see a ballet together. not me thinking about them brushing hands right at the end of act one of swan lake. when the yearning is at its peak and them both feeling some kinda way about it.

The dread eating away at viola chans stomach from the contact and the levity Donnie feels from touching her, mixing with the yearning and the looming doom of the music. She does not want to get attached she cant let herself be hurt again. not again.

and he NEEDS her. He NEEDS her!! of course he would go to ballet if she asked, of course he would listen to music he hates for her. Of course.

All of that tension wrapped up in the confines of theater. its Intimate and its public all at once. They could pretend the touch never happened, let rules bend for one last moment. it doesn't count here. not in the dark of the theater. Not where someone could see there knuckles brush against one another. a causal slip. its so casual, unplanned and magnetic.

A wounded swan and a prince yearning to be apart of the beauty. To hold, to protect, TO BE PROTECTED. not knowing all the while hes the one killing her. whos been killing her. the fucking symbolism of it all.

*eats my own hat* Im sooooooo normal about this I swear.

(Stranger)

[spamtoon]

DCRC Week 8--hey, look at that! On time!

Okay I woke up early today and I am NOT happy about it so before I do anything I'm going to sit down and read Paperinik because I was so excited to game last night and now I kinda don't feel like it. MAYBE I'll go back to sleep after this but I think I just kinda have to live with this.

Sorry I don't have any club penguin screenshots this time. unless something happens. wait i have the perfect idea

you can say odin eidolon in club pen.guin

omg its the panel. its the pk panel that everyone's like that goes so hard and you know what. it does go so hard

im so mad the way they didnt try to put it over the text this time. i love you pkna translation

omg the duck avenger actually fighting normal crime and being on patrol and shit no way. with these comics if they're dealing with cosmic threats on a daily basis its easy to forget they just like. also stop normal crime. like kidnappings and shit

ah okay. clearly these are the evronians from the second dimension

okay is the time police back to helping donald. or are these guys just normal cops. okay nevermind we time travelled i guess so normal cops. okay

so they use that shot and then they're like BOOM you're in the future actually. let me explain

im so fuckin mad the way this background lady is looking at donald like Who the Fuck is this guy. he Sucks

So I guess those guys are stronger because they're Future evronians and donald fighting them was like nuh uh uh! let's give you a future tour first

hes so tiny. hes so insanely little look at him. i guess after the time police explosion incident they're like alright. this is the only guy who can help us let's just tell him about the future becaues he's gonna find out anyway

i love the super trash here sign. in the future even trash is super

omg... he's coming. he's coming. he's coming. the guy's name i can't spell

hes so sad that uno's mortal after all... poor guy...

lord i dont know if we're supposed to not trust this guy but i do not trust this guy How do you know about all this stuff if it hasn't been documented well

i also like that everyone is taller--not just in the future but in pkna in general actually it feels like donald is in new donk city

donald is so cute in this panel... he's so silly

okay now i dont think we're supposed to trust this guy he's fuckin giving donald a pearl (SORRY) (reference)

donald misses uno sooooooo much already

sorry im on a kick now i didnt include the evermore comment but i swear to cog all my brain has to say about the tape head tv is "the void..." (another (reference)

ooh they're alright fightiiing please get to the part where we see The Catch or better yet. odin

donald's cape in this issue...

THE WAY I WENT YOOOOOO OUT LOUD

iced tea imported from england. lifeguards imported from sp

this fucking guy and his posing

i love how theres just a crowd forming behind them i'm so. they're chilling. hitting it off already.

okay glad to see donald also thinks this is suspicious

im so mad hes so fucking done looking

poptropi.ca good future lookin ahh. not that he doesnt have taste

bruh the fuckin fake evronians. im so mad. wow im sure this isnt foreshadowing anything the walt disney corporation will do in the next three centuries SORRY.

robot eye..................................

so thats why they look like that like they're literally supposed to be edgier evronians for the sake of tv hence why they're so second dimension alright.

the stupid fuckin eyebrow quirk im so mad donald's little goofy shrug

HELP im so mad. the robot parts. not going to photograph because it's kinda unsettling me a bit in a mega.volt way but

SORRY HIS FACES ARE SO FUNNY i keep having to screenshot them

his fucking expression. he's so fucking screwed

IM SO FUCKING MAD the cops were like alright yeah. fuck it. you're a tv guy i'll sign off on this as long as you dont do anything too stupid. lets rewrite this history and shape the perceptions of the future because yeah we wanna see that too that'd be sick

i love how this is the first movie pose he knows when he's like alright fine. let's do this stupid movie. hi odin...

robo-donald

HELP IM SO MAD the way the evronian was actually the chancellor guy, i'm so mad

also i guess xadhoom got her way and donald didnt just get them to stop invading earth but actively destroyed all of them. except this one guy. you know what good for her

oooh the beam deflected. i mean technically we dont either but you dont know hes a robot yet... ooooooh you targetted the wrooong guy

omg the uno textboxes... oughghgnn...

HI UNO!!!!!!! I MISSED HIM i cant send anymore images but HAIIII

oh uno,... i'll admit i looked up odin eidolon like one day before i started reading paperinik and then accidentally found the spoiler but i'm glad its like. hinted at/revealed this issue rather than like. a big buildup because i would have felt bad

im so mad the way uno says his files are overloaded the machine... ohohgnsngnngsng

alright good issue! i prompted puffy to draw a duck avenger 23rd century fanart and now im very scared but yaaaay im caught up on paperinik

[evil-gay-person-inactive]

okay so. i have a lot of thoughts, some of which are NOT cohesive in any way but yknow. they're there.

i also dont know how much of the game you've played so im sorry if anything gets spoiled at all 😅

okay so. WHY IS THE VERY START REALLY FUCKING CREEPY ????? the music down there SCARES me. anyways. the gloom ?!?!?!? LINKS ARM ??? THE MASTER SWORD ?!?!??!? woah. this game is INSANE DJDJFJJSJFJDFJEJF also the TEARS ??? DAMN. and the ZONAI ??? LOVE THEM. i want to get a zonai plush or something because like. FLUFFY . also the constructs ?? THEY'RE SO CUTE WTF i am SOOOO normal about this game holy SHIT

anyways can we take a minute to appreciate just how BEAUTIFUL purah is in this one ?? LIKE WHOOOO IM GAY. also. ZELDA'S FIT IN THIS ??? theres no way in HELL im straight- and as usual, the gerudo ladies be FINEEEEEEE

and ADDISON OMG THAT MAN IS HILARIOUS. part of me expects to find him in the depths at some point, just to be sure everyone knows about hudson construction smh. also speaking of hudson, HIS KID ???? shes cute but i feel bad for her. her hair 😭😭😭

ALSO ON THE TOPIC OF THE DEPTHS. EJEJFJJDJJDISJDNDKS ???? OH MY GOD ??? the plants down there look so cool ??? but the monsters ??? nonononono nope nope nope (im a chicken and i dont fight at the start unless i absolutely have to lmao, i wait until i have more than four hearts)

also the monsters look so dumb woth the new horns and stuff 😭😭 i had to say it. but the NEW monsters. for instance the like likes. or the flying dudes. or the gleeoks (i think thats what they're called, my grandparents fought one the other day (yes my grandparents play too heheh))

also the forgotten temple ???? and the geoglyph map inside of it ? GHE GEOGLYPHS THEMSELVES ??? this game is making me go CRAZY i SWEAR.

anywaysssssssssssssssssssssss

THE POWERS ??? ULTRAHAND IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS EVER, AND FUSE HAS LITERALLY SAVED MY LIFE. also ascend is VERY helpful (when i remember it exists lmfaooo)

aaaah theres so many more thoughts but i gotta do chores sooooooo :')

thank you for letting me rant about this game

can i rant about botw and totk here ? because im the only person in my house who's played it and i have MANY thoughts about totk rn

yes please do of course!!

[amsterdammotherfucker]

I copied and pasted my Torque liveblog from a private IM conversation with @playingwithroles just because I wanted to post it somewhere for posterity reasons :P

So they did a cool thing where the opening logo had a motorcycle speeding by noise over it that’s cool

Aaaaaaand the first scene is a drag race because of course it is.

THAT CHEESY EARLY 2000S THING WHERE THEY GO INSIDE THE MOTORCYCLE BLESS

Dude if this movie is intended as a parody of the Fast and the Furious series I will die

White dudebro protag’s jacket says “CARPE DIEM” across it lol

“What is it about driving cars that makes y'all such assholes” SERIOUSLY

JAY <3

SO I KIND OF LOVE THIS

JAY’S CHARACTER IS SO CUTE AND I’M DEAD

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO CHEESY I’M IN LOVE

I’m just waiting for this to go bad XD

WHY IS JAY NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER AGAIN

HE’S SO FULL OF FIRE I LOVE HIM

JUST FUCKING HITS BUDDY IN THE FACE WITH HIS HELMET

Hi Ice Cube I forgot you used to be in movies

HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW WHO THIS WHITE DUDE IS

Ford, apparently, is protag’s name

ICE CUBE’S DOG IS NAMED DOJO

This movie’s soundtrack is bangin

Aaaaaand now we get all the unnecessary shots of half-naked girls at a car wash SAW THAT COMING

JAY’S CHARACTER FUCKING STANDING UP ON HIS BIKE WHILE IT’S MOVING I mean I know it was mostly a stunt guy but WOW

Enter token hetero love interest hi blondie who’s never been in any other movie

Her name is SHANE

HOMEBOY’S A DRUG DEALER???

She’s actually not a bad actress I feel bad for her

I LOVE HER???

If you kiss her I swear to god

OH GOOD ENTER VILLAIN #2 RANDO THAT LOOKS LIKE DOMINIC MONAGHAN BUT ISN’T

Oh goddammit Jaime Pressly you are too good for this shit and what do they have you wearing

I think this rando baddie might be in a poly relationship with both Jaime Pressly and his right hand dude

SMUGGLING DRUGS INSIDE OF BIKES. THIS MOVIE.

Okay, so Ford stole a bunch of bikes carrying drugs from baddie here

Ice Cube’s bratty ass little brother looks like a young Mahershala Ali but isn’t

I weirdly really like Ice Cube’s character even though he’s supposed to be a crime lord

If anything happens to that dog I will riot in the streets

This movie is HILARIOUS

JAAAAAAAAAAAAY <3

I just make heart eyes every time he’s onscreen he’s the cutest

Dude she told you she never wants to see you again, TAKE THE HINT AND BACK OFF

H O W

GOD DAMN IT YOU STOP HAVING GOOD CHEMISTRY I HATE THIS TROPE

Again, this soundtrack is BANGIN

YEAH ICE CUBE YOU TELL YOUR PUNK ASS BROTHER WHAT FOR

Oh you are sooooooo dead buddy

RANDO BADDIE’S BODYGUARD/BOYFRIEND JUST STRAIGHT UP MURDERED ICE CUBE’S BROTHER WITH A BIKE CHAIN

I’m not sure how I feel about this Chad Kroeger looking dude playing Ford, I can’t tell if he’s good or just good for this type of movie

The whole “I left to protect you from my crazy dangerous life” trope YEP

At least they have good chemistry

JAY

HE IS SO CUTE I WANT TO TAKE HIM HOME WITH ME

So now Ford’s being framed for murder thanks to rando’s girlfriend

WHAT EVEN IS THIS MOVIE

ADAM SCOTT IS IN THIS FUCKING MOVIE????

BADASS LADY COP WITH CORNROWS

Ice Cube keeps talking about feeding people to his dog but I doubt human meat would be good for the pupper

THIS FUCKING NERD JAY SITTING ON TOP OF THE DINER BOOTH SEAT WHAT A FUCKING DELINQUENT I ADORE HIM

ALSO WHAT IS HIS NAME

Rando’s entire biker gang just standing in a row pissing on the side of a road CLASSY

Rando is named Henry, what a weirdly normal name

FORD IS NOT HERE FOR YOUR CASUAL RACISM

Just because he’s a suspect for murder does NOT mean you can randomly shoot at him YOU’RE CIVILIANS

Jay: “I love a girl who can take care of herself” CAN I KEEP HIM PLEASE

Shane is weirdly badass I’m glad she’s not just a prop

THIS MOVIE IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS I LOVE IT

Ice Cube’s gang is called the REAVERS

Uncomfortable Firefly flashbacks

WHAT DO YOU KNOW JAY

TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW

WE’RE JUST NOT GONNA EXPLAIN HOW JAY KNEW THAT OR DID I MISS SOMETHING

Val to Jay’s character: “Try not to bite your lip so much when you think” SAME

JAY BEING ALL “GET A ROOM” AT SHANE AND FORD I’M DEAD

So Ford just CALLS THE FBI AGENT FROM A PAYPHONE OKAY

Adam Scott is fucking hilarious he’s too good for this movie

Ford: “I live my life a quarter-mile at a time” Shane: “That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard” I LOVE THIS MOVIE

Dalton, right, THAT’S Jay’s character’s name, how did I forget XD

This is weirdly a really cool chase scene

WHO’S THIS GUY HE LOOKS LIKE SNOOP DOGG

Shane WHACKS this dude in the face with a tube thing and goes “you shouldn’t pick on girls” I LOVE THIS

BUDDY DRIVING HIS MOTORCYCLE THROUGH A BUS

BECAUSE THAT’S A THING THAT CAN HAPPEN

OH IT’S A TRAIN

DOESN’T MAKE IT BETTER

NO BOYS WE DO NOT DRIVE ON TRAIN TRACKS NO MATTER HOW COOL AND DRAMATIC IT LOOKS

Slow-mo explosion, I was waiting for that XD

So Ford saved Ice Cube’s life so now he knows Ford didn’t kill his brother BECAUSE OF COURSE

DALTON IS SO FUCKING CUTE I’M GONNA DIE

Dalton: “First time Val and I’ve beat you anywhere! Must be the chick!” Shane: “Yeah, stopped for a manicure” *flips Dalton off* Dalton: *impressed smile*

VAL JUST MAGICALLY SWIPING THE CHIPS FROM DALTON

i love Adam Scott so much

NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR CHEESY ROMANCE

I LOVE DALTON I LOVE HIM

BIGGEST MOST ADORABLE IDIOT IN THE UNIVERSE PROTECT HIM

I have no idea what just happened I was distract by Dalton being a cutie pie

This movie is DEFINITELY a F&F parody

DANE COOK???????

LIST THAT UNDER “SHIT I DID NOT EXPECT TO SEE IN THIS MOVIE” A DANE COOK CAMEO

THESE MORONS JUST STOLE A RACE CAR

BLESS

DO NOT MAKE OUT WHILE YOU’RE DRIVING

Ford jumps on the back of Dalton’s bike so they can swap out, Dalton: “I always knew you had a thing for me!” I LOVE HIM

Ford please do not wreck Dalton’s bike

Or your face

THIS MOVIE IS SO RIDICULOUS AND OVER THE TOP IT’S GREAT

FORD DO NOT PUNCH ICE CUBE HE JUST SAVED YOUR ASS

REALLY??????

METH BIKES

OF COURSE

Dalton taking swings at a punching bag back at the garage bLESS

Dalton: “I eat when I’m nervous!” Val: “He eats when he’s horny, too. He just likes to eat” KILL ME

ADAM SCOTT WAS A DOUBLE AGENT

NOOOOO LADY COP IS DEAD

THEEEEEEERE IT IS. DALTON AND VAL NABBED AND ALL TIED UP WITH CHAINS HOW EXTRA

THEY GOT SHANE TOO

Ew Henry stop being creepy right now. His girlfriend’s creepy too

LADY COP LIVES

ATTA GIRL SHANE KICK HENRY IN THE NUTS

EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING AT ONCE

BODYGUARD BOYFRIEND GOT TAKEN OUT SO FAST AND HILARIOUSLY

I’m sure Val and Dalton can fight well on a good day, Henry’s boys are just fucking crazy

I LOVE LADY COP SHE FINALLY DID SOMETHING USEFUL

Oh, no this scene. Shane vs. Henry’s girlfriend China

It’s like every cliche catfight scene ever but on motorcycles

PRODUCT PLACEMENT

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

That was just plain cringe worthy

BECAUSE THAT’S HOW PHYSICS WORK

ANOTHER EXPLOSION

IS THAT ROBERT BARATHEON DRIVING THE BUS

IS THAT FUCKING NICKELBACK SINGING US OUT

IT IS TOO

AND THEY ALL WENT TO MEXICO AND LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER

LITERALLY THAT’S THE END OF THE MOVIE

I enjoyed that way more than I was expecting to XD