#im so sorry for rambling shhshshshs

[babysizedfics]

so basically ... he was neglecting his adult headspace, then neglecting his littlespace, and those and his middlespace emotions hit him back to back? poor ro ro - 🌙

thats exactly it moon, he was neglecting his adult life for months then when he realised he threw himself back into ot head first

and he felt so good being back with his friends and having a boyfriend and doing hrownup stuff that he thought that meant he should focus on that, and because he felt so good being grownup he thought that meant it would feel bad being little

there was a tiny bit of embarrassment linked to his littlspace too now that he hanga out with his friends and remy ans jamal because he realises when they ask him what he did yesterday, it makes him blush a little to think 'well actually i played make believe with dad and sat in moms lap while he read to me'

so then he decided he didnt want to be super little anymore because he feels so good being big, surely he cant have fun with both right?? he just aways throws himself into things fully, all or nothing

but hes been forcing himself to not be little (or to be in middlespace instead of littlespace) when he wants to be and its starting to catch up ro him

this is why he's been extra little (calling the cgs mommy and daddy) a lot more often recently, whenever he does let himself be little he tries to get it all out of his system, and honestly theres an involuntary element to it too - he doesnt want to be that little but hes been repressing it so much that it kind of happens anyway, especially because that headspace is brought on by negative feelings and hes been pretty stressed the past few weeks

and yeah the stress also comes out in middlespace where hes grumpy, but mainly hes grumpy because he WANTS to be little but he basically stigmatized his littlespace because of all the tricky feelings so now it was tainted by embarassment and a feeling that roman had failed at being an adult

but last night he had a whole night of being little with mommy and daddy and baby vee was mostly asleep, so they focussed on him completey for hours . he wasnt even his usual bouncy playful self, he was just extra little and super cuddly and kind of quiet because all he needed eas comfort and affection and the cgs gave him so much (ill post the concept soon)

and today once roman grows up (after finally being playful and cute and bouncy again) theyre going to have a big discussion about all this and roman is going to be honest about it. he admitted some of it last night in tears, ans logan promised they would help roman find a balance, and thats what theyre going to work on today as well as give roman tons of reassurance that theres no shame in being little

EDIT: i think roman has also subconsciously been stressed because janus is starting to become a bigger part of their lives, and its the same as when vee first moved in, roman can cope with small impulsive changes but big life changes really throw him off and upset him - plus of course he is protective of his baby sister and doesnt trust janus not to hurt her again. so theres also that sitting in his mind but i dont think he realsies yet