#im so in my feelings after rewatching 1x01

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

(Using the lovely gif by @guardian-angle22)

Fics occurring early in Season One (This week’s episodes: 1x01 Pilot & 1x02 Yee-Haw) and:

Features Alex

Expands on TK and/or Carlos’s headspace in the honky tonk scene

Features Paul “doing a thing”

Features TK in therapy and/or going to meetings

The rules are simple: every week there will be a different prompt, and everyone is encouraged to share a fic (or a few!) recommendation that meets the prompt and tag a few fic-reading friends. The game can be played all week, so no pressure to post right away.

Use the tag ‘Rewatch Read-Along Week 1’ and at the end of the week @911lonestarrewatch will post the link to the tag for the comprehensive list of fic recs!

Here are my recs:

A More Perfect Fall by @cinnaluminum

This is an excellent fic from Carlos' point of view during the first few episodes of season 1. There are 4 chapters, but chapter 1 in particular fits this week's prompt perfectly. We get right into Carlos' headspace at the honky tonk. I especially love the descriptions of Carlos grappling with his feelings that are leading him to do some things that are a bit out of character for him...like hook up in a public restroom with a guy he just met!

Back to the habit after kicking it by @paperstorm

The first in the missing moments series, this is TK's point of view at the honky tonk. TK is going through A LOT. He's afraid of hurting both Carlos and himself and thinks he should probably just get rid of Carlos' number and never contact him again, for both their sakes...but he's not going to that, of course! What I love most in this one is that, despite all that TK is going through, there's that glimmer of hope for the future, even though TK is fighting it a bit as he attempts to protect his bruised and battered heart.

I knew your love before I kissed you by @rmd-writes

I will round out my recs with a fic that provides BOTH Carlos and TK's POVs at the honky tonk! It's a quick read, but in my opinion, it's a MUST READ!

No pressure tagging @alrightbuckaroo @bonheur-cafe @carlos-tk @reasonandfaithinharmony @ladytessa74 @reyestrandd @redshirt2 @louis-ii-reyes-strand @fangirl-paba @happilylovingchaos @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @herefortarlos @heartstringsduet @carlos-in-glasses and anyone else who has recs to share!

[lindscys]

𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐠𝐨 𝐩𝐝, 𝟏𝐱𝟎𝟏

mutuals feel free to interact, personals dni.

[tiffgeorgina]

what did you think of the new episode???

OH LORD i had a lotttt of thoughts on this episode, understandably. CONTENT WARNING FOR DISCUSSIONS OF SUICIDE AT THE VERY BOTTOM OF THIS POST (it’s a long paragraph). also obviously spoiler warning for 2x08.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255

please reach out to somebody if you’re feeling distressed after this episode, or if you or a loved one is considering self harm or suicide. im always here if you need somebody to vent or talk to. i love you all and i would be devastated if anything happened to any of you. 

anyways, episode discussion below:

-first of all, the corgina scene at the very beginning was PRICELESS. tiff and corkie had it DOWN until tiff lost her cool. i was DYING. casey wilson invented the word “fuck.”

-marcus/dawn and connie/mo double date. this whole scene had me CACKLING. marcus being such a comrade was not at all what i expected. the three-on-one connie smackdown i could not BREATHE. also includes classic moments such as “we’re doing black shit right now keith” and regina stealing every scene she’s in. also WOMEN xosha roquemore (connie) in dark lipstick is the best part of s2 prove me wrong

-also kind of out of order but dawn calling mo her best friend did not sit right... like in my soul. it’s like inherently wrong. so STRANGE to hear her say that.

-but connie sucks at being subtle lmfao dawn was not having any of that 

-“i can’t vote. im a felon” just out of nowhere GOD. and the fact that that’s the first time dawn’s learning that mo went to prison is fucked up. i’ve never seen a woman want a man to shut up so badly, and i’ve never been so glad that said man did not shut up lmfao

-tiff and blair’s apartment looks so good yes god!! also this season keeps referencing blair’s parents and it’s kind of putting me on edge. especially since next episode is “blair [being] forced to revisit his past.” on another note, andrew’s voice in this scene is SO FUNNY. you can tell he’s a voice actor i think

-also like we knew blair was into older men but now we like know lmfao. the richard gere jokes had LAYERS these writers outsold

-ok blair&tiff’s relationship... yikes. i cannot tell what the writers want their relationship to be. are they unhealthy and toxic and bad to each other? or are they platonic soulmates and life partners? make up your MIND, showtime.

-DON’T INFANTILIZE THE CUP BYE KJDFHGDFKJ

-first blarris scene was TENSE. acting good

-the confirmation that roger has kids... i mean i suspected it from the moment tuc’s character was announced in september but it makes the ending so much more painful. i KNOW that’s the only reason why they pushed the fact that the harrises are parents in this episode, bc it was never confirmed earlier.

-i hate how funny michael hitchcock is. im trying to hate newell but im laughing. why are his lines so funny who wrote this. 

-the sound design in this episode was a lot to take in. the music was intense asf and it stays intense throughout the whole ep

-keith cracking onto blair and trying to reconcile with him bc he’s feeling empathetic but blair shutting him down... can’t say keith doesn’t deserve it but i would’ve loved to have seen keith and blair just talk about being closeted and having affairs and shit.

-THE TRUMP CHILDREN LMFAOOOO they all look so smug the casting was great this ep

-mo shit talking connie TO HER FACE bc he knows connie can’t give up the act... fucking priceless i love to see it acab

-dawnroe physical contact hhhhh can you tell im rewatching this ep as i type this

-the wording on the “you’re with the FBI?” line is so perfect. bc it makes it totally sound like dawn’s onto mo and connie when really she’s just like “you’re siding with the FBI bitch?” highkey genius line

-posted this too early by accident oops. im still editing im not done yet lmfao

-MARCUS MO AND DAWN SAID ACAB FUCK YES

-ROGER GRABBING BLAIR’S HAND I AM ASCENDING. i knew about the hand holding scene there but i didn’t think roger would initiate it <3

-roger nearly kissing blair :’/

-LORD the trump children are little shits god

-daddy says it makes me look hot. you mean cute? ...no.

-oh GOD not this blarris scene. i like to believe that a gay person generally wouldn’t threaten to out another gay person on principle, but blair has shown how shitty of a person he's become all season. i hate it and it’s still ooc but i’ve seen worse on this show tbh.

-roger’s got a point, if he supports his campaign fund manager right off the bat, he’ll look like a total fraud and his career will be over. the fact that blair barely gives a shit really speaks to what his character has become. “fuck them” what a classic line

-ANDREW’S ACTING!!! his voice when he says “you use me” ugh i felt that in my chest. plus roger looking away after he says that... i mean god this cast is so talented

-blair snapping god. he’s got a point, he and roger have been dysfunctional asf all season. doesn’t justify threatening to out somebody AT ALL but finally hearing some emotion out of blair, a little bit of anger and frustration, it’s refreshing.

-does “who are you, blair?” count as a parallel to “who are you, pfaff?” from 1x01?

-blair outing roger to newell... yikes. again ooc and bad. blair’s a shitty guy but we’ve seen him have empathy before, even in s2. why would they make him do this i don’t get it.

-keith finding out about lenny is good. maybe something will finally come of this arc?

-parallel to 2x02 with blair mentioning his mom’s phrase, cool. probably gearing us up for more references to his parents next ep, culminating in a flashback to his childhood in 2x10.

-this scene where the trump kids are destroying everything is classic. you can genuinely tell that everybody there was having so much fun shooting that. idk, it’s nice.

-trump reveal HA what a great end to that scene

-keith coming by and fucking everything up... i mean i guess everybody KNOWS now. dawn/marcus is over (good) and dawn is probably right pissed at mo rn. but hey, fuck em all resurgence!!! ive been waiting for it and now it’s here!

-im scared, what’s connie gonna do? fuck cops

-“that’s a long way to go just to get a dig in” “it was a stretch but-” see what happens when you’re a narc? you lose your wit :/ sad! nice exit line from connie tho

-CW SUICIDE MENTION. ok time to talk about what definitely needs to be talked about. god this has had my chest hurting all day yesterday. i knew blarris would be outed eventually bc sho likes to milk every plot point for every bit of drama they can get out of it, but i did not expect roger to take his life. and blair finding him is just devastating. i said this on twt, but the fact that somebody could be so overwhelmed with internalized homophobia that being outed could cause them to commit suicide is so incredibly and deeply sad to me. i’ve been crying for a while over that fact. 

im just. im really sad. i’ve connected so much with these characters over the past two-ish years and this is such a devastating turn of events. i have no words. it isn’t bad writing or ooc by any means, it’s just so extremely and incredibly sad. there are probably thousands of people who have been in roger’s exact position before, and the realism really hits me hard. i can’t put into words how overwhelming sad this makes me. 

also pretty upset that this came as a COMPLETE shock to me and all my friends. we all watched on the sho streaming service, which did not have the “viewer discretion advised” card before the ep. the premier did, but the episode on the app did not. i really REALLY wish they had added that before i had seen the episode so i could prepare myself, even if just slightly. also wish they had added a suicide hotline number at the end. 

seeing blair grieve his loss is going to hurt but it’s probably going to give us closure too. i think about this show all the time, and now thinking about it makes me so overwhelmingly sad. i sound dramatic but this show has been with me for so long. not being able to see much of blair’s reaction beside the initial shock has been haunting me. im so scared for what the future episodes are going to bring.

thank you for reading, i love you all <3

[inyoursheets]

rhea and amber for the break down thing

omg how did u know i love these two

rhea:

How I feel about this character

okay i love her? i mean we’ve seen barely anything from her which is really sad but she seems so chill and really, did not have to be so nice to beth after she fucked her over, so this is a good person for sure. also she’s so pretty i wanna cry

All the people I ship romantically with this character

hmmm interesting.... after that one beth/rhea fic that transformed me im inclined to say just that. but it would be a train wreck. but less so that brio in some ways lol. maybe i also lowkey (very lowkey) ship rio/rhea bc that could be relatively healthy, as opposed to uhhh certain other ships. and she seemed to still (?) somehow not know exactly why they ended soooo....

My non-romantic OTP for this character

actually i think rhea and ruby could work bc they both seem like they’re a) very compassionate and b) in possession of a moral compass and c) caring parents who d) have a sense of humor. so yes! i have just decided they would be great friends. but i can’t lie, i loved the rhea/beth friendship we saw too! it was so nice to see beth connect w someone outside of annie and ruby and they seemed to work well tbh

My unpopular opinion about this character

im very much here for a beth/rhea friendship, which i don’t know if it’s that unpopular but ive also seen a lot of people go like... omg she should hate beth for what she did, which i tooootally get, but still! i liked them together, i liked beth confiding in someone else, i liked their soccer banter

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

LITERALLY ANYTHING that involves rhea being back. 

amber:

How I feel about this character

look... i just rewatched 1x01 and i really don’t like beth’s scene w amber bc she goes all oh you’re dumb and pretty and that’s all there is to you, which is just... it’s so tired. im not here for internalized misogyny, elizabeth. tho i do get beth’s anger, considering, you know. everything. i feel pretty sympathetic towards amber tbh and i really like that she got another arch later (tho it’s been a while since ive watched those scenes so i might be forgetting what she was like a little bit). i hope she’s doing good at the new place she works at lol

All the people I ship romantically with this character

i only ship amber and self-love.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

amber and... hmm, i don’t know! we’ve seen so little of amber tbh. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

misunderstood tortured soul. jk. or am i…?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

omg i wish she’d return and like, somehow get rid of dean, so we can all enjoy this show in peace.

[rachel-bloom]

🔥+ ceg series finale?

the first time i watched it i was kind of disappointed, idk why. i guess it was because i was drunk and i expected to at least have some grebecca kernels lmao. then i rewatched it the morning after, and it was better? like even though it was awfully predictable there were a lot of things i really loved. 

- the message: that love shouldn’t be everything in your life, it shouldn’t consume your entire being, that it’s only a part of you and your story (bc i do tend to get a little like that sometimes and it was a nice reminder tbh)

-just rebecca like..finding her passion and not being entirely great at it but still working towards it and putting effort in getting better) and being surrounded by her girls :’) (when she’s in the living room with them and she’s doubting herself and everyone’s like noo sis you’re doing great keep going and her face

-rebecca standing in front of the mic and just......admiring her friends’ journeys and saying how proud she is of them :’) especially paula that gave me all the feels 

-and after rewatching i did like find my grebecca kernels which are.. enough for me lmao. the look between them when wijo says: god i will not feel safe until one of you is married fjsdhfs or the fact that she has been super vague about her reason with josh and nathaniel but she told everything to greg (and the fact that they cut the line “if it would’ve been anyone it would’ve been you greg) so like ya grebecca > 

-the west covina final reprise everytime they sing WHAT YOU NEED..........JUST HAPPENS TO BE........HERE god fucking chills every damn time also all the parallels to 1x01 when they say “this is going to be so much fun” when paula convinces her to stalk josh but now in the finale it was about helping her best friend find her passion :’’’’)) the development.

- i came to this town to find love and i did........ i love every person in this room

a few things that bugged me were...... josh, like not that i ever cared too much about him but i feel like the finale and 4b in general kind of did him dirty. like yeah he always wanted to get married and have kids and all that shit but now he has a new gf? when he’s been barely single for like 2 minutes? also what’s his job? where does he live? is he ok? idk. kind of weird. 

hm ngl that s4 really made me passionately hate n*thaniel but right now im like ~neutral~ about him. like he’s so much more likeable when he’s not anywhere near rebecca and i thought the zoo callback was cute (only bc im a slut for i go to the zoo and ceg callbacks in general but yeah) his development was still super rushed and not realistic

-im not super passionate about whijo as a character either, like i love him but i’m also like not obsessed with him but i was kind of :/ what they did with him in the finale, like what was the point of that lmao 

i think that’s it??? although the finale had his faults here and there i’m super proud of everyone in WC for maturing and growing into better people and for rebecca to work on herself like she did and finding the biggest most loving family

send me a 🔥+ a topic, and i’ll tell you my honest opinion about it

[agentdammers]

Grand Torchwood Rewatch 1x11

FIRST RULE OF WEEVIL FIGHT CLUB IS NO FUCKIN HETS ALLOWED IN WEEVIL FIGHT CLUB. It’s “Combat” my dudes!!!

content warn: pisstaking, fun having, everyone is terrible, owen harper call me its been 3 weeks and you still havent called me i’ve been home every day

- god, “anti weevil spray” is such a terrible and immensely fucking funny concept. IT’S ALIEN REPELLENT JACK. you’ve acquired Alien Repellent. do they sell that on the aisle next to the ant killer, or,

- i hate how gwen abandoning rhys at the restaurant is still kind of framed as though he’s in the wrong!!! He raises his voice because he’s such a HORRIBLE UNREASONABLE boyfriend, obviously!! “Don’t ever speak to me like that.” what do you want him to do gwen, jump for fucking joy? All you’ve done is run out on him, be totally fucking absent when you Did grace him with your presence bc you’d rather not be there, and LIE to him including bringing a total stranger into your home and claiming to him that she was a relative. And that’s only the stuff he KNOWS about, that doesn’t include fucking uhhhh Cheating On Him with your obnoxious twink coworker? Get a grip!!!!!

- continuing on the topic of gwen, she’s now obviously lost to that Torchwood Stockholm Syndrome that manages to afflict every member of the team and makes them Dumb as all Shit. once you become part of torchwood, your life becomes torchwood, and you forget how to be a reasonable fucking person outside of it and not do stupid shit like keep secret alien technology to fuck around with and seemingly forget that other people have feelings and that your actions can have damaging consequences. ....but thats just my 2p.

- angry bar dude calls owen a dickhead me: ah? i see you’ve met before?

- “That’s none of my business...” TOSHIKO DOIN WHAT LITERALLY EVERYONE DOES AFTER THEY’VE ALREADY STARTED DISHING THE GOSS ON SOMEONE

- now, listen, this has been on my mind since 1x01, but who dresses the weevils? and why do they all wear overalls!!! is this ever addressed? in any of the books, or anything? do they ever explain who puts clothes on these animalistic creatures bc they dont seem like it would be something that they would do of their own volition???

- THE WAY JACK YELLS AT A MAN LAYING FACE DOWN IN A WAREHOUSE AS THOUGH HE’S JUST THERE FOR LAUGHS AND HE’S GONNA GO “AW SHUCKS, SURE BUDDY! I’LL ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS!” IS SO FUCKING FUNNY I CANT COPE

- “If you ask me these guys are using weevils to carry out the perfect murder. No fingerprints, no traces of recognisable dna...” jack they fucking beat the dude up before they set a weevil on him. if it was a “”perfect murder”” why do some stupid bullshit like that first that would potentially cover someone in your fucking dna im shitting this Fucking Show, i tell ya

- speaking of Fucking Show: ah ! owen looks absolutely fucking plastered in foundation in the following scene in the van when gwen breaks it off with him

- WAIT ALL IS FORGIVEN, OWEN IS WEARING THAT TIGER SHIRT I LIKE

- Mark Lynch Wants Owen’s Butt Whole and THAT is what the kids call......... relatable content

- the “harper’s jellied eels” website bit is genuinely really good and funny it fuckin owns

- “Teeth like a shark.” jack harkness confirmed to have never seen a fucking shark in his life apparently if he thinks weevils teeth are owt like them

- anyone else fucked up that jack just let a weevil loose??? like how could you know that it wouldn’t run into some poor random person walking the streets and bite their face off.... but then again, tbqh, this is an extremely minor thing when you think of the scale of torchwood’s irresponsibility wrt Fucking Everything.

- Weevil tyler durden/mark emits horniness in fucking WAVES guys holy shit!! you could bottle it. sell this dudes aura as a humane alternative to rhino horn. Dude has now got owen home on the first date and immediately whips his shirt off, your boy is UNSTOPPABLE!!!!

- drinking game fans, TAKE A SHOT for another reference to something in the darkness

- though i will always Love jack being called out on terrible behaviour, there’s something about tosh saying “we would never deliberately put a human being through that!” to a weevil being beaten up thats like....... mmmmm i’m pretty sure yall have done Worse to people before though babe.... like, Pretty Sure...

- i can’t decide if the scene where gwen drugs & confesses to rhys is consciously showing that gwen is so fucking corrupted by Torchwood Stockholm Syndrome that she’ll go right ahead and do stupid immoral shit??? tbh i’ve grown so fond of rhys just bc i feel so bad for him, being lied to, cheated on and now, fucking roofied.

- O??? Baby Boy??? Baby???

- side note: makeup artists Know burn gorman looks good with a split lip, and so they run wth it (see also: pacific rim uprising)

- Ah? Did mark touch owen’s dick before they went to weevil fight club? I Think So !!!

- To be honest the funniest aspect of weevil fight club for me, apart from all of it, is that some dudes found an alien in cardiff and their immediate thought was “woah, wicked. lets punch it”

- another side note but about mark: something about his features are very...... david zayas, like a combination of him and rufus sewell but younger and buffer. h e l l o

- MARK & OWEN HAVE BOTH NOW CALLED EACHOTHER “GOOD BOY” AND HONESTLY!!!!!!!! HOLLERIN!!!!!! OH, HORNY!!!!

- owen and ianto confirmed to form their own club for Nihilistic Sad Boys Ready To Embrace Death

- LMAO WHY DOES JACK LEAVE MARK TO GET MAULED TO DEATH??? HE COULD’VE PULLED HIM OUT? HE COULD’VE SHOT THE WEEVIL AGAIN AND INCAPACITATED IT? HE COULD’VE DONE LITERALLY ANYTHING BUT HE DIDN’T, HE JUST PUT HIS GUN DOWN? god, why is he fucking l i k e  t h a t, u know??? he’s so willing to let other people outside of his own team die.

- owen sexy update: hospital owen............... sexy

- and on a final note, i do like how this episode sets up the bizarre relationship owen will have with the weevils that comes into play in s2. like its not strictly necessary i suppose because it would be explained by them perceiving owen’s unnatural living death state but also, its just kind of cool to think that it was a thing that actually existed anyway even before that.

next rewatch post with probably be a double season finale, and apart from there being time travel & the Real Jack Harkness i don’t remember a fuckin thing about how this series ended so i’m going in blind!!! wish me luck!

[blyedeeks]

Why the heck hasn’t Bellarke gotten together yet, a Meta.

So here’s a meta I never thought I would write, cause everyone is always so caught up on the “behind the scenes” (aka jason, eliza, etc interviews)that they miss what the show is saying (screaming)

And to prove I’m not crazy, here is the reason why i’m writing this in the first place:

So there you go, @ivthegreatest​, as promised this meta is for you (i LOVE YOU for questioning this).

So without further ado, let’s discuss Bellarke’s development and their obstacles.

I love Season 1, it’s no secret. One of the (many) reasons why is because I think its arcs are very well organized and built. That being said, on season 1 we can divide bellarke’s arcs in groups of 3-4 episodes.

1x01-1x03: The Clichés

(1x01)

(1x02)

(1x03)

It starts like this: Belamy and Clarke antagonize each other from their very first scene. 

As their initial roles had them, Clarke was the hero/princess and Bellamy was the villain/rebel. As much as there’s always been some intense level of attraction between them (also ever since the first scene?!), their ideals alone set them miles apart.

Clarke thought Bellamy was a first class douche and Bellamy saw her as a representation of all the priviledged people on the ark. Each one of them had their own agendas: Clarke just wanted everyone to survive while Bellamy wanted to make sure the arkers wouldn’t make it down to Earth (+ he wanted to protect O).

The show sets Bellamy as “the bad guy”, the one who starts rebelions, the one who tries to create anarchy while making sure he’s in power. And Clarke was “the good guy”, seaching for food, protecting the moste fragile ones etc. They would never get together as they were ,in fact, enemies.

It all escalated on 1x02, where Bellamy (on the most “Bellamy you played yourself” moment in history) threatened to cut off her hand because she was getting in the way of his plans. But, on the same episode, when Bellamy – the supposed bad guy- had a chance to get rid of his problem– he doesn’t. That’s when the audience realizes there’s something there (with bellamy, with bellarke). Clarke doesn’t make the same realization necessarily (she must see something, but this is for another meta).

On 1x03 we end this arc as Bellamy and Clarke see they MIGHT be wrong about each other - as Bellamy sees Clarke killing atom.

Clear as heck, Bellamy changes the way he sees Clarke, he realizes the “princess” is very capable of making tough choices. Less obvious, but even more canon, Clarke sees Bellamy differently too, she knows now he’s not a murderer (” I saw you in the woods with Atom. I know you're not a killer “ 1x04 ).They weren’t friends at all, but they saw something in each other that other characters didn’t see.

And,... there was a catch already. While Bellamy and Clarke were on this antagonistic cycle, Clarke was already getting involved “prince charming”. Someone who (supposedly) shared her views on keeping peace, someone who was against that anarchy mess, someone with hero hair and a flashing smile. Yeah, Finn.

But well, as 1x03 prelude-ed it, all roles were about to change drastically and everyone would find out they were wrong about...everything. Which bring us to the next arc:

1x04-1x07: The Switch

(1x04)

1x04 pinpoints the moment Bellamy and Clarke begin to lead together. After getting to know each other better (1x01-1x03) – but not enough for them to even be friends, they find something in common: Charlotte.

And because of the whole mess she created by killing Wells (RIP bb) and accidentally framing Murphy for it, throughout the whole episode, Bellamy’s and Clarke’s leading styles clash and it was a mess.

That is until they realize they are both wrong, they lose Charlotte, they don’t know what to do with Murphy and then Bellamy finally accepts that they can’t leave in anarchy anymore. Clarke accepts that she can’t lead of her own, “We make the rules” and all that shiz. And bellarke become co leaders, what a beautiful thing.

BUT, on the same episode- Clarke and Finn finally get together. So, whatever it was that MIGHT have happened between Bellarke now that they’ve reached a middle ground (?))............. well, there’s a Finn in the way now. Sorry, folks.

(the writers know what they are doing im telling you).

But... but 1x04 is also the episode Raven comes down to earth.....hum. (more on that later).

(1x05)

(1x06)

1x05-1x06 follow 1x04’s lead. Bellamy and Clarke aren’t exactly friends, but they compromise. Bellamy is still somewhat of a “bad guy” (bad boy?), Clarke is the moral compass, and they fight a lot. Bellamy still has his agenda, Clarke still calls him on it  (“That's why you took the wristbands. Needed everyone to think we're dead” -1x05 / “Yeah, he knows. Now has to live with it.”  1x06– Clarke after the deaths of the Culling). But they are understanding each other better step by step.

And what is interesting here is that  the writers created this movement of Bellamy and Clarke getting closer and closer while Finn and Clarke got further away from each other.

On the first arc, episodes 1x02-1x03, when Bellamy and Clarke were the most apart, Clarke and Finn got closer and the writers were selling him as her obvious romantic interest with all the flirting and the smiles and the presents.

But on 1x04, as Bellamy and Clarke become leaders, Finn and Clarke get together for the first time only so the writers can show it was a farse (Raven). When 1x05 starts, Bellamy and Clarke just agreed to... agree, they are on their way of becoming closer- and Flarke is about to do the opposite. 

That’s why 1x04-1x06 was an uncertain period for Bellarke as it was for Flarke.

For Bellarke, Bellamy and Clarke had this partnership where they would have a real conversation in one moment (“you’re not a murderer” 1x05/” Can you wish on this kind of shooting star?” 1x06) and fight on the next (see the quotes up there). For Flarke, Finn and Clarke were just dancing around each other, but Raven was his girlfriend and she loved him. Clarke was pissed at Finn, she wanted to stay away from him, but she had feelings for him, and they just wouldn’t have a definite conversation about the matter.

Which bring us to 1x07:

1x07 changed everything.

I know everyone loves 1x08 (so do I), but man, 1x07 is the reason everything happened the way it did.

Thing is, on 1x07 the writers threw grey all over the place. Sure, they were already playing with the ideal of people being morally grey since forever, but 1x07 was the real deal. Bellamy and Clarke connected like HECK….. and over torturing a person. (Only my otp would.)

And this is not something they can go back from. Clarke stained herself, and she didn’t know what to do with it. But there came Bellamy to tell her something he’d been telling himself for awhile: “Who we are and who we need to be to survive are very different things.”.

(something that rang so freaking deeply in her, she’d repeat it again: “ The things that we've done to survive, they don't define us.” 2x08)

Now, they have more in common than they had before. More than that, it’s like they are accepting that, crazy as it might be, they understand each other.

So, to me, it’s no coincidence that right before that Bellarke scene Clarke lets Finn go for good. Rewatch if any of you might, on 1x07 Clarke just tells him to be with Raven, and she walks away from him (and even though Clarke would still have feelings for Finn - that was the end of their romantic relationship for good.).

....... she walks away....from Finn....... and then that scene with Bellamy happens outside the dropship.

Smart writers.

 Now Iv is probably reading this and saying “see?!?!? You’re just proving my point, THEY COULD HAVE GOTTEN TOGETHER AT LEAST ONCE AFTER THAT”

Okay, okay, I know what you mean because here is the MOST FLIRTY ARC OF THIS ENTIRE SHOW i’m not gonna even describe me i’ll just leave the pics here:

1x08-1x10: The Bellamy and Clarke FEEL THINGS

(1x08)

(1x09)

(1x10)

Do I need to talk about it?

1x08-1x10 was epic, it was feels all over the place, it was Clarke and Bellamy bonding and pouring their hearts for each other, forgiving each other, accepting each other; It was flirting at inappropriate times, having deep conversations, trusting each other and making Finn annoyed and jealous. It was a freaking magical time.

I personally believe that only after this arc Bellamy and Clarke were close enough for their characters to “hook up” in some way and for it not to be OOC.

But, we only had 2 problems: 1- They were just getting closer. 1x07-1x10 happened in the span of days, they were beginning to truly be friends or something, so I think they would need more time.Plus, Clarke was hurting over Finn.

2- If there was anything to happen, before it could, they were separated.

The writers must have realized what Iv has (why wouldn’t bellamy and clarke hook up now??) because those two were separated all the time after this arc. They had the total amout of (*SPOILER NUMBER FOR IV*) separations, it’s ridiculous.

So here we go:

1x11-1x13: The Kidnapping Fest

(1x11)

Clarke and Bellamy were on their awesome co-leader, bickering mode. But Clarke and Finn are taken in the middle of 1x11, try to run away and failed.

(1x12)

Clarke and Finn manage to come back only at the end of 1x12, but then chaos had already started as they knew the grounders were coming (so yeah no time for anything else- only for dramatic co-speeches because Bellamy and Clarke will always have time to be Drama King and Queen).

(1x13)

On 1x13, they did their co-leadership thing, heart eyes and all, but they had a war to prepare to. And then, they were separated. Again.

Which actually bring us to Season 2.

( Season 2 isn’t as well structured as season 1. So I’m not gonna talk about season 2 arcs, but episodes)

As everyone well know, Bellarke was freaking separated up until episode 2x05.

(Sigh)

But right at the very moment they reunited, they found an obstacle already. (these writers are out to get us)

“Where’s Finn?” , Clarke asks Bellamy right away.

Well, Finn, Finn was killing people because he loved Clarke

(bc i’m extra and the writers are sneaky:

)

Make no mistake, this shiz is heavy. Clarke doesn’t deal well with blood on her hands, she hates it. Now she sees Finn, Spacewalker, supposedly the guy who loves peace and sunshine, killing 18 people in cold blood because of her.

( Is anyone really surprised the next theme of the season was “love is weakness” or-? )

So, from the moment Bellamy and Clarke reunited until they were separated again (2x09), all this was over Clarke’s head.

And things just kept piling up: Bellamy and Clarke reunited, they found Finn killed 18 grounders, the grounders now want Finn to die a very painful death to pay for his crime, huge tension fly between Arkers and Grounders -who were supposed to be allies as their people were stuck in Mt Weather. Finn surrenders himself, Clarke KILLS Finn, it haunts her like heck, L.exa s gets in her head that they are both leaders that need to “do what needs to be done” for their people – and that love is weakness.  

But this was not only a huge emotional ride that happened in a short period. This shaped the way Clarke allowed herself to feel for Bellamy.

How? Let’s re- analyze things.

It sure seems that ~something~ changed about her feelings for Bellamy on the time they were away from each other. They went from walking side by side on 1x13:

or even this

To this:

It’s a freaking huge leap.

Not to mention all the times between 2x01-2x05 when it was pretty obvious she had been missing Bellamy, worrying about him AND equating him with Finn:

(”Finn and Bellamy?”)

(”Not all of us”)

(” Finn and Bellamy?”)

When we get to 2x05, we can’t even tell for sure what Clarke’s feeling (I don’t think Clarke knew) , but ,my friends, it’s deep. But then when she finally finds Bellamy again – Finn is in trouble, and he killed for her, and he created tension between grounders/skypeople and he died at her own hands.

Finn, the guy she had feelings for. ( also had feelings for). The first member of the “ Finn and Bellamy???” duo.

And that’s when we realize this “duo” is no coincidence at all.

Her feelings for Bellamy are SO (VERY FREAKING MUCH) related to this season 2 plot that one of the first things she said to him on 2x09 was “I can’t lose you too” (remembering Finn). Right after we saw L.xa convincing Clarke that “love is weakness” and that leaders had to forget about the matters of the heart to take care of their people. Then Clarke let go of Finn (“Love is weakness”), then she let go of Bellamy too (“I was being weak”).

.

Which lead them to be separated, again.

And this time, it was not only the physical separation that set them apart and didn’t allow their relationship to reach a new level.

Now Clarke got this new belief that would only be over by the end of season 3 probably (that is, if it is over). Now Clarke puts her people first, forget about liabilities and love if they are an inconvenience.

(which is an interesting way to watch s03 if any of you might. )

Of course, that her love for Bellamy is a freaking bastard and it doesn’t exactly allow her to do that-

(oh Clarke, you try, I’ll give you that) 

-But truth be told, this plot is also one of the huge reasons why they aren’t together (yet).

Clarke would later be haunted by other decisions she made on season 2B, which also separated her from Bellamy, and other separations (literal and metaphorical) came between them, but this is one arc is one of their most important obstacles.

 Phew, since Iv hasn’t watched past 2x12 and this is long already, consider this meta a “part 1” of why the heck Bellarke didn’t get together yet.

However, for anyone (including you, Iv) that watches past 2x16 I’m pretty sure there are so many obstacles there we don’t even need to discuss it. 

But we’ll see about that later.