#im so happy that i didn't read anyone's opinions before i finished watching the whole series

[yalublusladosti]

i saw many people saying that dean treated jack badly and everything and yeah it was like that at the beginning of s13 but. it's literally one of my favorite storylines. dean didn't just "hate jack and treat him like a monster", he developed attachment after some time around him, he started treating him like his son, he taught him to drive and went fishing with him because that was what he liked doing with his father. and, as for jack, it's so beautiful to me how he immediately chooses dean as his role model, how he tries to behave like him even when it's about some small things like drinking beer. and he thinks of dean as a father, he tries to deserve his love and he loves him too and he trusts him like children trust their parents. and their bond is so precious to me and yeah it started with dean being mean and everything but they had development and that what i think is important

[vinbee631]

I remember almost the exact moment I became a part of the sanders sides fandom. I was in middle school, and a friend I used to watch vine compilations with brought up Thomas's YouTube channel and a web series of his she really liked. And I thought "okay, why not?" and watched the first few episodes.

So. Here we are now.

I've been in a lot of fandoms since middle school, some more casual, some short term but very invested obsessions. But sanders sides was always kind of in the back of my mind. Before I even considered being autistic or doing enough research to self diagnose, it became my special interest. The show and the people involved have had such a big impact on my life.

I'm not leaving the fandom. But I respect the people that are. I respect the people that choose to casually watch until the series over. I respect the people that can't even leave Thomas unblocked anymore. I respect the people like me, who just can't bring themselves to leave.

I always kind of knew the end was going to be devastating for me, and the discourse has been a similar kind of devastating. I've watched so many content creators in this fandom come and go. I've personally seen people ruin their lives for popularity within the fandom. I've seen fanfic writers blow me away more than any published author could. There has been so much joy, so much connection, and because I was afraid of social media for a very long time, i only got to be a direct part of some of it.

The last thing we all need is another opinion about this- whole thing right now, and I don't think there's a single original though I could add that someone hasn't covered. A lot of mistakes have been made, a lot of hurt has been caused, and jesus, a lot has changed. But I know where I stand now, and I don't know that I stand to support Thomas. I don't know that everything was made perfectly, that he was as honest as he could have been, or if he's always had good at the center of his mind. I do know that he's just a person, and a very stressed one at that. When the series was at his peak, the minimal production team behind the series was put on a pedestal. That was a lot of pressure, and something that was so big and held so much weight that they all ended up with health issues by the end of it.

But there were things that they didn't do. There hasn't been a lot of honesty lately, to the point where the "suspense" just feels like we're being dragged along. I know I'm frustrated, really really frustrated, and I'm allowed to be. Thomas is also more than allowed to take the time he needs to make the thing because it's his project and his time, and it is a lot of work.

There isn't one perfect solution. The fandom will never be what it was. Thomas will never be who he was at the peak, but for differing reasons, neither will any of us. I am happy staying attached to my special interest, but I'm also exploring some other fandoms as well. I'm also in the beginnings of my first year of college, and that's a lot of pressure all on its own.

I don't know if anyone cares or if anyone will take the time to read this, but that's okay. I'll keep writing for me because I love it, and I'm gonna finish watching the series as it comes out, and im gonna love it.

So. Yeah. Have a good day <3

[cassandras-nest]

Breakthru - a side story.

Disclaimer: this is something i wrote on a whim..

Mostly because of this picture

My first language is italian so, please, let me know if there are any mistakes..thank you.

(No beta-readed at all, just a quick grammar check, sorry)

Hope you'll enjoy ❤

Also, part 2 of this is in the making, as well as part 2 and 3 of IM

______

This was your first assignment as a professional assistant on a real set. You worked mostly in theatres since you started, costume and makeup department, but a friend of yours helped you in having a bigger one this time.

A famous band was shooting some videos for their next album, so here you are on a Queen production nonetheless.

Yes, you did know Queen, who didn’t? You weren't a fan per se but you enjoyed their music and the latest album was quite spectacular.

On your first day on the field, you thought you would be back in the trailer, randomly putting away some stuff or helping around, but instead, here you were, several days later, fixing the makeup on each every one of them. They didn’t wear it much, just for cameras, a bit of fixing powder, black eye pencil and some lip balm, it was quite simple like you used to do on male actors on your previous job. You already did Roger and Brian, but not Freddie, he didn't let anyone do that really; it wasn't personal, you knew that, he just wanted to do it himself, but he was nice, everyone’s been.

You were left with John. In the past days, he became your favourite: he was patient and calm, he respected your work, as the others too, and he was a good talker, very intelligent and humble so you found pretty easy working with him.

- Mr Deacon, excuse me.- He was talking to another crew member.

- Yes? Oh, hi. What can I do for you, dear? - quickly turning around to you, a little surprised, but still smiling.

Always so polite...and cute. - your mind quickly corrected you.

Ah! stop that thought.

But you can’t...

- Can I have just five minutes of your time? I have to check and fix your makeup - you answered him smiling a little.

- Oh yes, sure..five minutes, an hour, anything for you - He answered, joking a little..making you blush.

- So, hum... How....how do we do it?- he asked then.

- Oh, simple..just sit down and I'll do all the work, no need to go back to the trailer- you said politely.

Yes, he was easy to talk to and very much polite, but you always had to remember that he was literally your boss and not one of your friends. Last but not least he was older than you so you owned him some kind of respect, you thought.

Sure, you can't help it that you find him rather attractive, charming even, more than the others, it was just much more subtle.

- Stay still a bit...please - you said firmly.

He simply nodded and you slowly inspected his face to see any flaws or where to fix..and he was watching you, in some sort of daze it seems, making your work ten thousand times more difficult.

You were gently re-apply the powder with a clean sponge the moment he spoke.

- So do you like it, I mean what do you think? - gesturing around himself.

You froze for a second. Did he really ask for your opinion on their video?

- Well...- searching for the right words, you truly did love their idea, and he was...well, that was something you couldn't tell out loud...at least not in front of him.

- It's a very original idea, truly... I can't wait to see the whole video, y'know - smiling while fishing out his black eye pencil.

- This makes me, I mean ..us happy, at least we’re still doing our job right - he answered with an adorable grin.

Why he is like this, why so adorable? - your mind was reeling

- Now, just another thing and I'll leave you be, eyes up - you ordered showing him the pencil.. - Yes, ma’am - mocking a salute.

Oh..and he’s funny too... - your brain was starting to fail you.

You were closer to his face, enough to do your job properly, but by doing so you could almost feel his breath on your face, at least his eyes were up, so he wasn’t staring you like before but it still made nervous.

You were here for a job, no need to be silly - you kept on thinking.

- There, all done, now I won't bother you any more, Mr Deacon - you said taking a step back..but he gently stopped you before you could go too far.

- Please, call me John..- he said sweetly, looking at you, a small smile on his face.

- Oh, ok...John - blushing a little, avoiding his gaze as best as you can.

He released your hand and stood up.

- Well that was fairly quick..and no, you wouldn't bother me even if you wanted to - He sincerely told you.

You could have been wrong, but you thought you saw him winking a little.

Probably just your imagination..

 

- All..right, I better come back now - Still a bit flustered, you started to make your way back to the trailer...

- So..well, thanks for your patience..then - you told him, smiling a bit.

- Always for you, love - he answered you, smiling even wider now.

Leaving him there, you still could feel his eyes on you while you walked back to the parking lot where the set trailers were. You, however, didn't know what to think, was he making a move on you or he was just being polite? Well extremely polite...

The whole shooting lasted the entire day, but they had to finish some other details on the next one...

You were packing your things up, ready to go back home, have some sleep and come back to work early the next day when a knock of the trailer door startled you.

- Can i...? - you heard a familiar voice from the trailer door.

Looking up, you saw him. He was still dressed from the shooting but without the waistcoat, just plain jeans and the white shirt, now with the first three buttons open but still with the sleeves all rolled up to the elbows, the sight alone made you blush wildly, suddenly stopping what you were doing.

Damn, how was he so beautiful?....but you can't...you couldn't think such things...- your mind reminded you.

You realized you were still looking at him, so you quickly thought of an answer.

- Hi, do you ...do you need something?- you hesitated a bit.

He stood there, casually leaning on the door frame, an amused smile on his lips.

You felt your cheeks become a bit hot, again - what an absolute idiot you were.

- Nothing, I was just..just heading home and I wanted to see if everything was ok, I think I have somehow embarrassed you before...- his tone calm and sweet now.

- I ...no, not at all..everything's perfect, really - you assured him, shaking your head, still trying to regain some sense in the meantime.

- So - he started - yes..alright, see you tomorrow then - a half-smile on his face.

Once more, you smiled at him, you can’t help it, you liked how you were feeling and how it was so easy with him.

- Yes! You can't get rid of me so easily - cursing yourself soon after saying that

why were you like this - you absolute fool, happy, but still a fool.

 

- I don't want to...i mean..that's the best crew we ever had...- he told you, matter-of-factly...

was he blushing too? - impossible, you were so tired that you were starting to imagine things.

- Well, that's reassuring...I -quickly correcting yourself- We take our job seriously - faking a bit of confidence

- I can see that....- he told you, facing you even more, a smile never leaving his lips.

- If there isn't anything else...I'll go back to pack so I could finally go back home too - you told him, trying to look him in the eyes now.

a big mistake, a very big mistake, now you were blushing even more.

- No, no...yes, everything's alright - he faltered - goodnight then..- lowering his eyes a bit now, nervously smiling.

his behaviour seemed a bit off to you, again, what was he doing?

not that you hated the attentions, you loved it but still..you just wanted to understand why?

- ok, yes...right, ‘night - you told him, your voice almost a whisper.

the only thing you were sure about was that he made nervous, but in a very good way..and that was a problem.

There was a moment of embarrassing silence between the two of you. He cleared his throat, like he wanted to say something more, but he started to back away, his eyes still on you, and then turned to leave.

You watched him go for a while, unable to stop, mostly confused.

he, on the other end, looked back at you a couple of times before reaching his car.

That night when you went home, you found yourself much more conflicted than you ever been.

you really needed a good night sleep...

_______

Tags: @bluewillowmom @iwanttoridemybri @deakysgurl @spacedust1124719 @acdeaky @catch-a-deak @stormtrprinstilettos @dontstopmemeow @mydeakydoesme @culturefiendtrashqueen @captain--americanna @babyzellodeacon @sitonmyhot-seatoflove @myguardianmailman @deacytits   @deakys-chesthair @miamideacon @supersonicfreddie @bismillahnah @raven974 @chasingthespiders

A special thanks as always to @binkyisonline ❤

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

I hear two Atlanta Police Officers with missing vehicles called the Mayor and apologized to her for thinking of only themselves, admitted they were afraid that if they were in the same situation they would been fired as the other two in the Rayshard Brooks case and they couldn't allow that to happen to,themselves and the community so they wanted to show what would happen if it did because like me they all saw it as a justified homocide, a honorable weapon's discharge.

But after reading what i wrote last night. They fully regrret their decision and would like to have a meeting with her today, the entire 25 that stayed home for 3 days and they will all drive up to see her, in their personal cars of course.

Of course they got her mussing her mascara and all. Weeping she is. Don't mean she's weak. Just means she knows love. And she knows how evil attacks it and makes love so painful.

... ...

I mean I'm real surprised at Atlanta. I never had any problems with them they was always "The Next New Orleans" i called them.

Always just witchy with it. Good and a skip ahead.

So besides my anger at the situation created...

Look. I come straight outta the 90s.

Back then... Man. Our history been lost in 30 years. Our soul soul soul filled history. Its gone. It ain't there.

Back in the 90s we had about a 15 year break. From the protests from Vietnam War. Love not War Protests. We had them nice little 1950s with "Hello Technology: introduction to the TV" ONWARD to the "60s Hippies. Make love not War" taking it right onto the 70s which came back with the Civil Rights

So our 90s. Y'all they were the most beautiful. They were the combo of the 60s and 70s.

The riots and protests being taught to me and we made it big as we could with all the best parts of being a Human Rights Activist with brand new only 1990s fluorescent neon dripped could bring in.

That was all lost. Its all gone.

But the fight. The rights. THE TRUTH we went all 1950s and stayed in and raised our kids right. People wanna say shit about the Millennials. But we spoke truth. We spoke from our heart and we let them find,the truth as safe as possible and form their own opinions based on truth alone.

So now people wanna beat our kids. People i went to high school with they got high school graduates. Mine will be 17 this August. Real honest to God birthday and age.

Those are my babies. Our babies. They are our future. In 50 years they're gonna be like old man Bernie Sanders. 70 years old bent over fighting because we're gonna be near dead at 90 and more.

And people neglect and beat and ...

Man Our kids got it bad enough already. Simply because THEY KNOW THE TRUTH.

And man we got to protect them. Protect their hearts. Their minds. Their souls.

And they getting allllllll this stress. Put on them. Stress that is simply avoided.

By one dancing in the streets.

By 15 officers stating their badge numbers.

By the police owning up to who they are and why they exist.

Don't they want peace? Used to be they were called Peace Keeping Officers.

Now they called Lice Officers. Coming in on Native American Reservations claiming unwashed hair bread bugs. Let me tell you something. My daughter and I got lice a while back.. Like 8 years. The only thing that killed them was coating our hair in oil

Lice breath through holes in their exobody. So the oil makes them suffocate to death and die. Furthermore people whom smoke reject lice more frequently than those that don't. It takes me 3 months longer to get lice than a non smoker.

Peace pipe anyone?

.

So historically police aren't loved. They aren't wanted.

Being a police or military. It becomes a color of our skin. I'll post a tattoo that isn't finished being colored or lined. It's not done. I'll show you we can balance it.

Get out of your comfort zone. Step out of your skin.

We can't stop being black. We can't stop being what drives us to be police.

But we can control it.

"BURN ALL THEIR FUCKING CARS" demanded the international head of the CIA.

"No ma'am. This is what we did" they didn't tell me No before. They just did it. Because they knew it was better. They knew it would cause all 25 of y'all to have to stand up and say "my car is missing. This is how i feel. I do/don't want it back"

Where yall can't pretend what y'all did didn't matter and just get up and go to work the next day. All sneak in and get back to business.

No. You got a fucking problem. You forcing others to take on your load, Zone 5.

Were not walking away and being all its fine what ever. You got a problem. We need to tackle it in a for real state.

Foooorrrrr Reeeaaaalllll state.

You got a problem in your mind? Those become tangible. They aren't floating thoughts. They are what makes us do what we do.

Make it concrete. Take away their cars.

I ain't saying the charges will be dropped. That's all a whole other issue. I don't work in the justice system. Court. Law. I tell you how to win in court. But i ain't about telling some DA how to shove it. I just sue them. When its courts. I fight their game. With paperwork and all that shit. So like i said that's not on me to say the charges will be dropped.

When it's a basketball game you use a ball and circle to drop the ball in.

Use proper tools

Atlanta PD could and should said "alright let's picket the DA. Lets go in uniform. Leave our weapons in the car. Unbutton our shirts. Put red paint on our foreheads to show where they're hurting us. Show them the DA now made us defense less and stripped"

Half hour. 10 minutes. 2 hours. Don't matter. As long as you make that statement.

NYPD did that.

Sure i can ask Tree, tree why ain't you posted that? Taught them?

But why didn't NYPD pull out thier hands and say NBC, FOX. Where's them videos of what we use to do and so we can stop and make this shit right in the streets?

Thata all i did. That's all im doing now. Yeah I'm,the most brilliant and all

But the last since November i been telling y'all "shake them tail feathers"

How is Gary Trump's brother going into human trafficking for 24 years to be found by me. Then murdered by his brother that took his name and lied about who he was? And his brother didn't care. He said "ill go by Gary. It don't matter. Hes worked hard under my name"

How is the ACTUAL Donald Trump not allowed to be in a Black Lives Matter movement? How come no one is shaking their tail feathers to a man killed by the government for greed and white power?

The faux Donald Trump that is our impeached President is a racist.

So why isn't his brother being named? Black Lives Matter.

One person says "Let's Shake Our Tail Feathers".

Dont matter if you believe me. Its the movement. Quite literally.

Its confusing and alive and can make us all sick. It is its own plague. "Shake ya tail feathers" it's a mental plague if you refuse truth.

Regardless how i named it. I still taught it and spoke it. And led y'all to dance it.

Bye bye stress. Bye bye human trafficking.

Bye bye inequality.

Instead it's crazy

It was already planned to be crazy. Burning down buildings calling them Liberty Torches.

Civil Rights . Civil Liberties . take No Justice/Fairness and make it a sight to behold.

Is it fair to me financially to burn down my own economicially profiting legally businesses to make a Park and Garden where you can get fresh and,free vegetables and fruit for life? HELL FUCKING NO.

I got to pay security and taxes and i don't get a single domestic dime in return.

Kids go play on my slides and swings and wear them out having too much dam fun. Then i gotta spend More Money to make sure i am making sure they even get a single second to know what fun is.

I spent my whole life working. Every dam day.

One day I went out and I was 18 years old and i heard laughter. And i didn't know what it was. What made people laugh? How could people even be happy? Or want to laugh?

I was 18 years old. Didn't under stand a human thing.

And it just kept going and going and going. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to do whatever it took. And I didn't know why. Because i got my car keys out and opened my car door the second time that day. This time to make it stop. I put my car key between my fingers. Next thing i knew, I was sitting back down. And starting the car. Obviously my mom knew I was crazy with worry. And lost my mind. Shoved my ass back in the car and said "no you're just gonna leave and leave those innocent people alone"

I was so angry and bitter. And now my life is even worse.

If I couldn't attack them people. No one else can attack innocent people in public.

I don't care how fucked up you are. YOU CAN'T ATTACK SOMEONE FOR THEIR FREEDOMS.

Laughter. Black Lives Matter. Blue lives MATTER. All lives MATTER.

Some ignorant fool was arguing with a store clerk saying how her Black Lives Matter sign offended him

Watch me, #BLM #BLM ONE OF THOSE IS BLACK. ONE OF THOSE IS BLUE. TOGETHER WE ARE BRUISED BLACK AND BLUE.

Why can't y'all see and accept that?

We can't we be one. One truth.

One life to live

I can't live as Cleopatra or anyone of my past lives. I can't even live the life I led in the 90s. I can't even walk

We have one life to live and this is it.

So do we kill each other? Or do we protect each other?

Why aren't we being One?

When you're alone you can think of only you. You realize how important you are. We all need alone time.

When im with you i can only think about how important you are.

There isn't enough room in my brain to say how important we both are at the same time unless we do and think and act the same way all day long. Even for twins and clones its impossible.

So in my brain and in yours. You can only think about how much ONE life matters at a time.

ONLY ONE LIFE IN THIS WORLD MATTERS. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!

We. Our. Us. You can't stop a great combination.

Power and love = unified. Unity. United.

Watch me, #BLM #BLM ONE OF THOSE IS BLACK. ONE OF THOSE IS BLUE. TOGETHER WE ARE BRUISED BLACK AND BLUE.

Stop the pain. Hold our hands. Let the love flow. Let the Heart speak until it sings.

So yesterday old Blackfeet and Regina didn't see each other for the DUMBEST thing. She said "oh baby ill move in the nursing home with you"

He says something all "nonsense that's dumb shut up" all Grumpy Bear.

I don't even want to be with you.

So i talked to Michael about their unique situation.

He could had said "I'm well enough to move into a regular home with you. We don't need the nursing home. I moved to (US state) to be with you. To be close to you because you mean more to Me than Anything in the world. And you deserve a big ole castle. Because i love you and we gotta do all this best and right. No nursing home. We got another 50 years plus i wanna be doing you on the kitchen table and not here. All I can smell is stinky old man diapers from the neighbor"

And she could said had he continued the fight "oh idk what I'm saying I've never even seen the nursing home. Do you mind i come visit you there? Id really like that"

It would taken ONE. Only one to stop their ninny war.

And they would been holding each other. With love.

Instead of living in Hell.

So, now what happened was we put it all on old dad. Because hes the Black Beethoven who can suddenly sing a ballad of symphony in the midst of telling some real bad history truth.

Then moments later Regina said "well i could said something different, too".

It takes two to tango.

So I challenge y'all to punch inequality in the face. BLM. there is no difference between.

Black. Blue. Red. Purple. Yellow. Green. All bruises.

Challenge each other. Black and blue.

Force it. There is no difference and it must be seen.

Chant it. Turn on the "Boombox" and dance together. Dance if some won't. But do it in their face.

Laugh. Be happy. In their face.

If they're bitter like an 18 year old me and don't have a Angel Mommy to bust their ass back down into a sitting position. Someone will beat the shit out of them. Someone will stop them and i Will go after them and send you services for legal and medical. Free.

Acknowledge.

You are hurt. I am hurt.

Lets Live. Lets be happy.

Lets try. Trying makes perfect.

"MOVE BACK"

"TAKE THAT FIRST STEP"

"MOVE BACK"

"SEE WE ARE HURT SAME AS YOU" point out the ones that have fear. The ones that try to intimidate. -- The I Can See You -- let them scream in your face youre nothing but a piece of shit. And yell back they're someone inside a police uniform. And you can see it.

Beat their asses like fucking Care Bears.

Teach you a little photography. 1. Dirty lens. Dry skin. 2. Lotions the skin. Hannibal lectur. 3. Cleans the lens. 4 & 5 close up with flash. 6&7 close up without flash.

After meeting some kids in college. Native Americans from tribes near Gallup. Very very. Very Racist.

I began to question my life long believe of how I could live with being a military based person. And being an Native American.

I didn't know. I just knew i could and it wasn't fair to me to destroy the very being of me. Simply because it don't make sense without actual factual historical documents.

Remember Oregon Trail was First. That made Atlas.

Then down the coast to find gold. So NM DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT NO FUCKING TRAIL OF TEARS SO GET OUT MY FACE.

And so my owl... Its every thing. I didn't design it normal. It has wings that are out stretched yes.

But it has a secomd pair of wings. Which are pins from the United States Coast Guard. Those wings are like hands. To do things close by to the body.

Its slightly designed after a Hindu God. She has 6 arms.

Here the wings are keeping the body warm and safe and sound.

How could myself own an owl to represent my secret past of S.Leigh if it can't have hands to represent both my heart and mind?

There figlirliee on the head. That's not for me. Its because I think about you. The mass population of Earth.

I need more simply than what the Earth can provide in the reality of which exists on Earth.

There's an hour glass of water on it's side, traveling... My baby bird is flying with an hour glass.

If you look. You'll see a woman under and between the two shields. And she has "duck lips"

For the real "Not Gary Donald Trump"

Her lips are actually a heart. But they look off..

A rose each sits above the shields. A diamond in the midst of the tail feathers.

No piece

No area.

Is just a feather. A stroke of color.

Each is an item. There's no nothing. It is all something

The military did not just beat us and we took it as Muscogee Creek Nation. We built an Atlas. Recivejed the City of Atlantis -- the Spain sent supplies to help us for years. All the way from Florida.

There was Something. It all wasn't nothing

Or for nothing. Everyone looks for the truth. Looks for the Lost City of Atlantis and i am the one who sunk it. Because I am the Goddess.

The diamond has a purple eye. Diamonds are the hardest and toughest known substance.

Well i know my mind is gonna cut you and rip you apart from what I've seen. So my eyes are like diamonds. My mind

Our tounges are diamonds. We can slash each other apart.

Or we can acknowledge the riches we have.

My Ultimate Challenge is for the police to create a barricade when necessary. No weapons in hand. Hands on the top of their heads and chant BLM Bruises are the same.

We know black bruises hurt the worst, the same level as red.

Then purple. Then blue. Green and yellow rarely do.

So please fight blindness and inequality with me.

And please post it on the national news and international news. So that we know as a world we all fight together

Whether it's in the couches or in the streets.

Thank you for trying.