#im so happy instant dopamine

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

whats your opinion on frank and julie's friendship.. the sillies

I FUCKIGN LOVE THEM they're so good... entirely platonic m/f relationships have always made me so happy, because they rarely exist without eventually becoming a weird romantic thing

so to have Frank and Julie be best buddies!!! that's so important!! i love it! also they're just so cute... they have the same sense of humor... Julie makes Frank laugh... they tease each other... they play games... they love each other so much!!! whenever i see art of them or they're being pals in a fic, my shriveled heart grows half a size <3

[papermachedragons]

YOU'RE THE MERWAINCELOT 40K ANON FROM THE OTHER YEAR???!!!! 😱😱 take the throne, by all means, it sounds like an absolute whopper of a fic 😍😍😍

I AM!!! AHHHH!!

You got me, I totally am 😝🙈

Look look look. While I am rubbing my hands in excitement and plotting like (a slightly menacing) little gremlin to take the merwaincelot tag with storm, I respect you (and love your fics) far too much to take the throne. I just wanna share it with you! You brought me into the merwaincelot world with just one fic and I already started writing merwaincelot after that, and then when I read even more of your fics (more than once), I was so inspired that it changed some of the ways I had written the pairing and how they interact with each other in such a relationship. I just wanna hang out with you in this tag so baaaaaad c:

When I am telling you, you're not ready for this fic, you don't even know how much you're not ready for this fic. It's got intrigue, it's got mystery, it's got true-to-the-series-episode-like-formula; it's got a magic "foe" that isn't just a villain-sorcerer-of-the-week-because-merlin-needs-to-defeat-some-bad-guys-and-throw-magic-around; it's got soft moments, tender moments, angst and, I kid you not, so much merwaincelot, it could tide you over for a full year

So yes. I am that anon 👻

I did take a screenshot of your answer back then, and your words still help me if I'm feeling a little hopeless about it all. But truly, most of the time, I get by with just writing for me and making myself happy with writing what I want. I'm just excited to share that with the rest of you on this merwaincelot boat when I get to it 💛

[omanu]

.

[chanquokka]

missed the whole live bcs of work but I clicked on the video rn and wow I missed him sm

[chucklechampion]

16, 24 & 30 :3

:3 hehe hi!! ive been Heavily Medicating on the pen so im very alsjdldlsjs and ready to be LEE

16. A tease that never fails to get to you?

oh lord okay, listen, i am gonna copy your answer but its the RIGHT ONE- lean into calling me a ticklish little puppy and i will get so lee and giggly so fast its so bad aldjslsjsks

calling my feet and hands paws (“paws up!” or “look at how ticklish puppy’s paws are”) or telling me to roll over so you can reposition me or tickle my back or belly rubs that turn tickly or AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

BONUS ROUND: if you fucking collaborate with my fiancee about tickling or teasing me or tell me that youre going to tell on me to them if im acting up i will EXPLODE YOU ONE MILLIONS TIMES AND THEN EXPLODE MYSELF i will go insane its always an instant kill because i am unabashedly wrapped around their finger <- obviously this applies to mutuals and friends but Assorted Others please do not harass them just to try to tease me or i will explode you for actual real

24. What would you describe the feeling of being tickled as?

god why is THIS more flustering than asking about the teases why am i BLUSHING

to me, it feels like a tingling that goes all the way into my bones and directly up the spine and to the brain. i also really notice the big dopamine dump that happens while im being tickled!! especially as someone with mental health issues its so nice to feel my brain get flooded with those happy chemicals that it has trouble making on its own 🥺

30. How easily do you get flustered?

WELL I WAS GONNA SAY IT DEPENDS ON A LOT BUT APPARENTLY THAT LAST QUESTION IS PROVING ME WRONG AKDHDKS

[b0ard1ngsch00l]

(boss crush anon) thanks :D i'll start with context, im 28 and hes 48..funnily enough i had a dream recently where i was back in high school and he was my teacher LOL, thought that was relevant. ive had this crush for a few months now and have been writing about every little interaction i have with him. one of your posts that rly spoke to me was "i want to mean something to him", bc girl no joke ive written that exact sentiment about him before. every time i talk to him feels special, i get a legit high thinking about seeing him every day. hes so painfully handsome and nice to me, sometimes when he sees me his whole face just lights up and he gives me this HUGE smile. hes also the only person i work with who calls me by a shortened version of my name <3 one of my other coworkers even noticed that he did that and i was like 0///0 yeah he has a nickname for me so what?

there was an after-work happy hour that i went to once, i brought a friend and asked her to watch how he acted around me bc he can be hard for me to read sometimes, i cant see his behavior objectively when i have so much wishful thinking going on lol. she told me later that when we walked in, he made a beeline straight for me right away, and seemed sorta shy when talking to me. she asked how i was doing at my job (i was new at the time) and he said something like "shes awesome! every day that shes here is a great day!" and my face mustve been beet red..he kept showing up in our conversations with other people and standing near me, something ive noticed he does a lot in group situations. just recently, we had an premiere with lots of people and since i was on the clock i was standing by myself in the back of the room, watching in case someone needed anything. fr he comes over and stands RIGHT next to me. there was no one else around that area, he chose to stand right beside me while we watched the premiere.

he was out of the office for a whole week once (work related reasons) and i angsted so hard..not seeing him on weekends is bad enough but this was like 10 days and i was going feral. we followed each other on instagram after that happy hour and during that week he was gone he randomly liked one of my posts late at night. i have to wonder if he was missing me too..the next day he came by my work area to ask "whats new?", like he just wanted to catch up after being away which i thought was sweet. yesterday he was teasing me about hiding some of our work halloween decorations in my car to scare me (cute lol), today he was showing me how to tape a package with a confusing tape dispenser and our hands brushed multiple times while handing the tape back and forth, and god only knows whatll happen tomorrow!!

hes so wonderful and i rly want to know more about him, i want to be around him constantly and any time i get with him is instant dopamine. hes intoxicating and i feel selfish wishing he'd break a million rules for me (boss/employee relations, 20 year age gap, and yeah you guessed it hes also married) but i just cant help myself......im not planning on making a move bc i love my job too much to risk getting fired for that, but if HE did you know id reciprocate in an instant. but im glad to just know him even if things remain the same as they are forever, as much as i wish theyd escalate. THANK YOU for letting me get this all out of my system, theres even more i could say but this is long enough lol. have an amazing day, G <333333333

This was very enjoyable to read thank you! The way you both are seems sooo cute! I’m so glad you can relate to me <33 I so get you, and everything you’re feeling yk. It’s hard being obsessed with middle aged men who deep down you know you can’t have😭 but also there’s no other feeling like it and it’s kinda the best! Any time you need to rant about him I’d love to hear!💕

[saynomorefic]

Happy birthday dear June!! 💜🌸☀️🧡🌼 im so glad you joined the fandom 💜💜💜

And here is beautiful Omar for you ☺️

Awww thank you so much Lou for this and the instant dopamine of Omar💜🥺🌻

[carpisuns]

For the artist meme -- 20 and 6! 🎨 if you like xx

20. how often do you get art block?

all the time 🥰 it's like clockwork lol sometimes i get sooo frustrated and cranky bc i hate all my art and i'm like "woe is me!! i've lost all my skills!! i'll never draw again!!" and then i'm like wait . i know what's happening here. i just gotta wait it out I'll be fine lol. it's nice that i also write bc then i can switch to writing for a while until the art block clears up 👍 i've found it's best for me to just take a break from drawing for a bit and not try to force it so my brain can like reset itself

6. tag your favorite artists/inspirations!

oh man there are so many!!!! i could name like 100 people lol but i'm gonna limit myself to the ones i think have had the most direct influence on my art style. hope u guys don't mind the tags<3

@ileniagennari was one of the first artists i latched onto stylewise. i used to study their work a lot because i am obsessed with the fluidity and softness of their linework and i just really like how they draw faces and bodies. their rendering is also amazing and feels sort of cinematic somehow? i've always wished my art could have a similar feel!

@anna-scribbles has also been a huge style influence for me and she's just also been a big inspiration in general as a close friend<3 i ADORE her work and have studied it specifically a ton. she draws the most blorby blorbos ever. blorbyness is her art trademark imo. and i want that for me too so i tried to steal it. i also think just sheer proximity to her and her art has made me pick up a lot of things from her automatically haha. in particular, i feel like the way she draws smiles is so perfect, and i always try to channel her when i draw smiles myself haha

@ladybeug inspires me so much and has taught me really valuable art skills! a while ago i came to a point in my art journey when i felt just really stuck and frustrated. like i could not for the life of me just DOODLE. i took everything too seriously, even if it was supposed to be simple and silly. i really needed to learn how to loosen up and enjoy drawing more. stephanie is like the most esteemed and delightful doodler i know so i came to her for advice and she DELIVERED. she gave me super helpful tips and invited me to make daily comics with her and it's been lifechanging! it's helped me focus on communication over perfection and feel more confident in my art, which i think had a visible difference in my style too. i learn SO much from just regularly enjoying stephanie's work, including her webcomic @datmcomic!!

@rileyclaw is a good buddy of mine and his work is so hugely inspiring to me! it's really educational to see his wips and learn from his process. and since he's an incredible animator as well as an illustrator, enjoying his work is part of what inspired me to finally take a leap and make my first animatic. i really love how he pushes/exaggerates body and facial expression to communicate emotion and how he makes such careful choices about comp and color and just Everything to tell a whole story with every piece of his art. i've learned a lot from riley on the storytelling aspects of art and that's something i continue to try to build on!

@knockknockknockingonhootysdoor's art is like an instant and intense shot of dopamine to my brain every time!!! i cant even tell you how HAPPY it makes me. i just stare at it and eat it all up and i'm always asking myself HOW does he do it?? how does he make me feel this way. and i think it's just like....how genuine it is?? i can just feel kryan's love for the story and characters in the way he draws and im not sure that is a stealable quality lol. but in particular something i really admire about his art is how SHAPE it is. i love how he builds each character with different shapes and how each design feels so unique and so fitting for them. i am trying to incorporate that more into my own art!

man i already have rambled so much and there are so many other artists i could go on and on about alskjdfjkla ok just real quick i have to shout out @picayunearts bc i intensely enjoy her work in both the ml and toh fandoms and her coloring and use of light and gradient always stands out to me so i kinda try to channel that sometimes! @smallpapers is another fav and i love how soft and simple her art feels! it's always inspiring to me. @raystel's work also inspires me a lot, whether it's fanwork or original stuff. she is so creative with character design and seeing the way she expresses her ideas in art is so cool!

and i would be remiss if i didn't shout out my sister @mozzys-studio who is the first person i came to when i wanted to learn how to draw and she taught me a lot! her art is beautiful<3

thanks for the questions! :D

artist asks

[cantstops1mping]

(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

I SWEAR I GET SO SO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY WHEN SOMEONE LIKES OR REBLOGS MY WRITNGS. LIKE ITS AN INSTANT DOPAMINE BOOST NO MATTER HOW IM FEELING THAT DAY. SO THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO LIKES MY WRITTING. THANK YOU!! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

[lactoset0lerant]

Jesus fucking christ being genuinely happy about something is so much better than social media apps giving you instant dopamine andjust a random meme making you laugh. Like laughing at a youtube video is great! Its a good form of happiness. But i jist realised that the type of happiness im feeling at the moment is ao much better... Ia havent felt this in weeks. Wow.

I missed you, joy.

[sux2be]

of course it is when im fully immersed in another special interest fixation that op truly blooms and is everywhereeee and of course i am excited and happy to see it but my brain is just not latching on to anything except fi rn and its unfortunate. anyway im sure watching the live action will rekickstart my little animal brain that craves instant dopamine so its a moot point now ig

[bloodglucose]

i really wanted to add more context but i think i needed to cool my head first.

i feel like i waste so much of my time on this app. it’s incredibly easy to just scroll for instant dopamine and this mixed with anhedonia has been a dangerous combo. i feel like i waste so much time watching other people be happy and do fun things while i just lay in bed scrolling for hours wishing i could do these things. but im always constantly telling myself “i cant do this bc im broke rn, maybe i’ll do this or visit this place next time” all it does is make me yearn. it makes me sad

topped with the fact that so many beautiful girls appear on my fyp. while the jealousy i feel for them isnt inherently malicious in nature, it still makes me feel really bad bc i just wish i looked like them. in face, in body, in their living space, in their fashion sense. i wish i had the confidence to dance to these songs like them.

but i think the worst part of what really broke me is the fucking ads. the fucking ads targeting my insecurities. if you have fat in your midsection and you cant sleep your cortisol levels are too high you need this $30 supplement and you’ll notice a difference. hey ladies, wearing this waist trainer during your hot girl walks will really show results in a few weeks. gonna enter my winter arc. ugh guys look at this big wing stop order, im such a big back. the VS show was so disappointing bc the models dont look as skinny as before. guys your cortisol levels are so high make sure to eat protein within the first 30 minutes of waking up. your cortisol levels. do you have cortisol face? make it stop im fucking begging make it stop.

i swear every week im having a breakdown over how i look and i feel its never enough. i literally get those cringe ED accs with really awful quotes about “eating = bad” with like 2 likes on my fyp. i have to force myself to go outside and see what normal people look like. i have to constantly remind myself normal people dont look like the people i see online, otherwise i start to relapse.

i’d be lying to y’all if i didnt say i have bought stupid tiktok shop products bc of these predatory ass ads. and i just think for my own sake i should just delete the app. take a break from short form media. focus on my new job. and literally touch grass again.

i should of done this sooner

[kaebedom-me]

i was only musing about biker au but you know what consider this your formal biker au! poly chaeya request. don’t let your biker bf dreams be dreams

LeS G O LES FUCKING GOOOO

i- HAHA, it got too long so i had to make a cut

I'm going to make ch💙ya established in this au because i do what i wAnt

Them being in different gangs but still working together/ hanging out/ having sex. We stan

No to loose plot for this au yet, just me going of

Methinks, Mondstadt is one bike gang and Liyue another and like the Fatui ? But idk if i see anyone else as bikers yet

But xiao on a bike? Stan. My heart? 💓 (i haven’t met xiao ingame but that one fanart on him on a bike almost got me simping)

I like to think Kaeya and Childe does what they want mostly, like bike gangs usually they just get together to ride somewhere it's really chill

Childe owns like so many bikes dude he's so fucking rich he can have any bike under the sun

But his favourites are sports bikes. Like I just see him adoring his Ducatis

His second and third favourites are dual sports bikes and cruisers

Kaeya heavily prefers cruisers. Just because he's chill like that

Like have you see those thighs???? He doesn't just get them from any old bike mdudes

Also enjoys naked bikes and touring bikes uwu but prolly has a scooter or smth for the memes

“yeah, I ride” and brings his a Vespa or smth in his full leather get up HAHHAHA

His main cruiser,, the engine fucking purrs it’s just right. kinda like a deep rumble, like you can hear it coming and going but once it’s out of earshot it leaves you with this feeling

Kaeya also being a little handy? Like he can take a look at his and Childe’s bike and kinda know what’s wrong, when to change something etc.

You guys....... sweaty Kaeya half dressed, hair up in a bun, working on his bike and with little grease smeared on his face and hands because he’s just been so focused on fixing up his bike-

Childe stumbles in to grab something and instantly is hard

Childe enjoys washing and polishing the bikes, will wash and polish Kaeya’s bikes before he does his too because he’s just sweet like that

Mmmmm wet Childe from washing the bikes, Kaeya will seduce the moment he sees, doesn’t even care if Childe is finished or not

If this AU has like some plot or smth idk yet but them being a brains and brawns duo? Like Kaeya plotting stuff and Childe beating the shit out people??? Yeah, I’d like that dynamic on them

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 them taking turns driving each other? so they can snuggle and relax while the other enjoys being held. quality date right there  

Childe’s guilty pleasure is to have Kaeya drive him while he snuggles. He loves the thrill of riding but nothing can beat being close to Kaeya like this

Childe loves helping Kaeya remove his helmet and giving him chaste kisses to his lips, nose, cheeks

Deep inside the speed demon, he really is just a soff boi enjoying some quality time with his bf doing their favourite thing together

Can,,, can you just imagine the two of them in leather jackets and tight jenas i- erotic as hell

Childe very obviously stares and Kaeya whenever they go out riding together and Kaeya always puts on the tightest fucking jeans that show off his thighs good shit

Hi, hello, welcome to my high ponytail Kaeya agenda 

The sexual tension of this fucking AU.......... The potENtIAL I want these two to have the time of their livES

He has to take extra of his hair too because helmet hair is not cute so he finds different ways to tie it up and stuff 

Kaeya totes have different eye patches to match his outfit too like ok chill damn extra much

Anyways, Childe is a speed demon, the adrenaline he gets from riding fast and reckless? He needs that daily dose of blood rushing in his veins

Has the most feral fucking look after too and fucks Kaeya into oblivion after

Sex on the bike? Sex on the fucking bike babes!!!!

Kaeya riding Childe while they’re on the bike i-

Kaeya being extra good at riding because of his cruising skills too? mmF

He has so much like friction burns on his thighs because they can never take off their clothes in time before fucking like is2g

Childe cannot ride cruisers without thinking of Kaeya and Kaeya makes it his life goal to burn it into his brain and get Childe to the point of erection every time he’s on his cruisers

They swap jackets too whenever they go on long riding journeys without each other

Childe has more than once rutted against his cruisers to the thought of Kaeya

Fucking shameless too!!! Takes a pictures and sends the aftermath to Kaeya

I live for bottom Kaeya knowing he just does things to Childe while he being completely fine. Like he won’t go on his cruiser and immediately think of Childe, he still can enjoy the feeling of riding a bike? But Childe every time he uses his cruisers he gets Kaeya brain rot

Kaeya 100% gives Childe hand jobs whenever Childe rides AHAH Childe might be soft for Kaeya’s rides but Kaeya gets off of the adrenaline from the speed and just exerts it this way

Also the thrill of the speed + being potentially caught while his giving a handjob on the road + Childe losing focus on the road??? 

Kaeya won’t let Childe crash but the thrill......... sends shivers down his spine

i- not me getting carried away w ch💙ya biker hcs and forgetting this is a poly request (i do not see)

you can ride a bike too if you want uwu. but if you don’t, they’d love to have you ride behind them

They thinks it’s cute when you have to hold onto them. You can do two things

1, you don’t hold onto them for support, instead hold onto something else for support lmAO. They’d be so offended HAHAHHAHA

2, you can put your little hands up or down their clothes while you’re holding them for a fun little good them

Childe, the little shit, speeds up the moment you’re safely secure on the seat just to hear you scream and hold onto him tightly

Kaeya prefers slow rides late at night, where you can put your head on his shoulder and hold him tight, smth chill, sometimes y’all can talk

His cruiser,,,,, you know it just sends the nicest vibrations just right ;)

Childe’s rides are more no chill, more like completely no chill at all

If you’re the type that gets off from fast nerve wrecking rides then the adrenaline will also lead to feral sex after too

If you ride too!!! the three of you just picking a quiet route to speed through the night on? then stopping somewhere to just vibe and talk and stuff

Thinks its so fucking sexy that you’re into bikes too like you’re sexy on your own but having the same passion as them??? 

Sad though that all three of you can’t be on the same bike? But that’s ok, y’all just take turns being the one on the back

If you don’t ride, but have an interest in learning!!! Childe will throw himself at the chance to teach you 

Is actually? Surprisingly??? A really good instructor? Like for a speed demon he’s really safe and tells you all the safety tips and all

It’s his natural care giving side 🥺🥺🥺 he wants you to be safe before you guys go anything doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you

Kaeya if you approach him to learn he’s really sweet about it too

Him being able to balance your body weight and the bike no problem while you try to get used to the weight of the bike and balancing

His thighs could just crush you mAN

You cannot get away from bike sex man, if you refuse, literally swap with me 

They’ll try to convince you though, they’ll always find a way to do it at least once

I reckon they’d start with having you on your knees and blowing them while they lean against their bike then fucking you against it

Hopefully, it’ll open up the idea of having sex on the bike!!!!

Kaeya giving you tips on how to ride Childe while you’re riding him as he’s straddling his cruiser

Childe pins you lying on the seat of the bike while he pounds into you

Them taking you to quiet spots a little out of town to fuck your brains out (or ya know to talk and see the sunrise and stuff)

It’s always the prettiest places too, a little secluded, but very worth every effort to get there

Like they make it so romantic too?? Not sure if it’s the atmosphere or just them but it always steals your breath away

Ugh rides near the beach where you can hear the waves, the purr of the engines and the sounds of their laughter. I’m so WeAk

[roaringheat]

holy shit i just remembered this aaAA so like i go by Varker on a lot of video games and this one person and i are talking a lot and being supportive and they type in the chat "Varky!" to get my attention aND I

[dateamonster]

please give us an unreasonably long answer about what your favorite classical monstery trait is, why you like it, and your favorite examples of it please please pl

i dont know if this is like a classic monstery trait or even rly what that entails but um im rly into like parasitism and/or monsters whose supposed body is actually just a host.

parasites used to be a big special interest of mine as a kid and even tho it isnt as strong as it was then i feel like that interest has sort of mutated and fused with my current interest in horror (which feels appropriate doesnt it) applying real life parasite logic to monsters sort of forces you to think about stuff like: what does this monster need to survive? how do their habits serve that need? and providing the monster in question is a sapient creature, how does it feel to be something whose existence demands leeching off of other living beings? physically and psychologically. how would that affect the way this creature relates to the world around them?

it also sorta gets me like reverse engineering some of my monsters. "i want this one to have a cool retractable proboscis under their tongue" ok cool now what purpose does that aspect of its biology serve? why would something evolve like this? if it uses it for feeding, what does that indicate about the food source and the method for feeding? and how does that affect their other behaviors?

obviously monsters dont always have to adhere to the rules of reality, but i like when they sorta. pay respect to them. creatures whose biology is subtly reminiscent of real life animals that we already know instinctively spell bad news for humans have sort of an instant advantage in the scariness department just because of that connection. which i think is neat-o!

theres also lots of potential there for exploring some fun body horror stuff (big fav of mine) as well as imo a kind of transhumanist existentialism. like ok if i am a creepy lil monster bug whose biological imperative is to burrow into a living human body and rewire their brain to help me feed and procreate, what is my relationship to this body really? (again assuming the creature in question is sapient ofc)

is it my home? my ride? my friend? unwilling friend maybe but maybe im also pumping said humans brain full of dopamine whenever they help me. does that make us friends? does that make the relationship mutually beneficial? or does that make me an oppressor, overwriting their will to fulfill my needs? and what about my will? arent i, this hungry little insect, just as much a slave to my own bodys demands as them? if, like so many species, i hatched into this body, warmed and nurtured by it, is it my mother? whats the meaningful distinction between me, the controlling parasite, dominating yet fragile, who would die without the flesh i inhabit, and my host, a mind trapped inside the limited mortal flesh it was born to spend its entire existence trapped within?

aaand so on and so forth. honestly im not even a transhumanist i just think the philosophy gives us some cool thought experiments.

anyway my favorite real life parasite is the leucochloridium (even tho i constantly forget its longass name) which infects snails and makes their eyestalks pulse and flash colors to attract predators so it can get eaten, which it needs in order to continue onto the next phase of its life cycle. im not an expert or anything i might be muddying the facts. i just think that shits crazy. natures crazy.

anywayy x2! um um if this interests u i guess i recommend the masters of horror episode "sick girl", "peeps" and "the last days" by scott westerfeld (to be fair i havent read these since middle school and idk how well they hold up but like westerfelds stuff usually goes p hard regardless), "bloodchild" by octavia butler, aaaaand i guess my short story "daja vu"! wink!

thansk for coming to my ted talk happy autism to all and to all a good night

[fantasmagoricx]

I like to think I've gone through a lot in the last four years, but, hmm, i sure do still love @mielcriada with all my heart!!