#im so fucking blessed and grateful to have amazing frieinds like all of you in my life!

[keichanz]

no words

i.

guys. i'm... i just. i am just speechless. i???

it's 7 am as i write this now. i didn't get much sleep, but i needed to get up to call into work and let them know what's going on. i already plan on going back to bed or just taking a nap. i checked my bank account this morning and winced, because my rent had already been taken out, but not my gas yet.

so. i. check my email, right. and guys.

guys.

i am....fucking floored. at the amount of paypal notifications. i saw in my inbox.

i immediately logged into paypal and i shit you not guys three things happened: i nearly choked on my coffee, stared in disbelief for about five minutes, and then i cried.

i bawled. guys....im. i don't know what to say. that number. in my paypal. i was not expecting that. at all. and it's all because of you guys and i'm still sitting here crying as i write this because guys words cannot begin to describe the depth of my gratefulness, the genuine and profound love i feel for every single one of you that heeded my plea and decided to help me out. believe me when i say that i was NOT expecting to receive so much help, but guys you made it possible for me to pay not only my rent and my gas bill, but have groceries delivered while i stay at home with covid and i just. i'm seriously speechless.

i'm still crying i can't say it enough guys. thank you. thank you thank you thank you all so fucking much for helping me out to the extent that you did. i truly honest to god am floored with your generosity and kindness and god i just i love you all so fucking much you don't even know. you guys saved me. here i am begging for scraps because my job is shit and they don't pay me enough and my friends, all of you guys, swooped in and so selflessly picked me up off of the floor and gave me a gourmet fucking meal and i cannot thank you all enough.

i won't tag any names, because you all know who you are, but i want each and every one of you to know how much this means to me. i suffer from self-worth issues, something that no doubt developed form being bullied in high school so much, which is part of the reason why it's so difficult for me to ask for help when i feel i don't deserve it, and here you guys are, helping me out with no regard, no problem, and i'm just honestly so....i dont even know. literally i don't have the words to express what i'm feeling right now. just know that i'im so fucking grateful and i love you all so so so much and i want you all to know if i could i would prostrate myself onto the ground and vow my undying loyalty to you all, that if there was ever a time whenever our roles are reversed, i will the be FIRST one to swoop in and do what i can do help. i hope you all know that.

;ljsldkfla;jdfl;kasldfja;lsdjfl;asf okay. okay i've rambled long enough. i didn't mean for this to get so long, but. fucking hell i'm just still in a state of shock and delirium and gratefulness and intense relief i'm on fucking cloud nine right now despite the fact i can barely keep my eyes open. i wonder how many typops are in this post ;lajsdfk;af

one last time:

thank you. truly, deeply, genuinely, thank you all, my wonderful friends. i love you all so much. i seriously can't say that enough. and you will be getting that oneshot soon! that i can definitely promise!