#im so different to all the people ive met. i know afew kindred spirits. 2 is in my cule and im dating the other
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i think i have this fear of being seen as a liar i think. like. everyone does it. and as a kid i stole stuff all the time and the way that was dealt with kinda just fucked with my head. do people see my kindness and my compassion as manipulation? am i read as someone trying to tear down the walls so i can get something while ur guard is down?. idk why someone thinking that of me makes me feel so miserable like. what if they were right? ive made mistakes before.. whos to say they arent right about this time? i dont want to stop being kind but it scares me to think about that.
#im so different to all the people ive met. i know afew kindred spirits. 2 is in my cule and im dating the other#but idk. some part of me Long ago decided that i wanted to bring comfort to people. when i see how rough the world gets..#i know thats something i can do to make people feel better. even if its just 1 person.#what else has there been in my life worth living for. aside from the company it brings and the growth i get to be part of.#i never got to be this kind. i never got to be treated this kindly before i transitioned.#idk. i guess this stuff just makes me think im doing something wrong. am i not supposed to try and make other happy if i seem like a trick?#to me this is what being a woman means for me. in so many ways... maybe thats why it being doubted hurts so much.#anyway.. my blood sugar is low. and its 2am. ily reader. i hope its not too much.
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