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#im rly only scared of bees. but bc of how my mom acts with other bugs like tics and bc ive had them in my pants before -
pizzapizzadickz
·
2 years
Text
Mn. I really wanna leave and go somewhere. If I wasn't terrified of most bugs I probably would instantly. But where?
#gotta do everything i want before i die
#diary
#personal
#hm. i like camping. but theres just so many bugs. hm. where to tho? i dont mind camping around here - but maybe somewhere better is nice
#i guess ill look into it. and maybe a therapist to help with my insect phobia thing.
#im rly only scared of bees. but bc of how my mom acts with other bugs like tics and bc ive had them in my pants before -
#im just generally scared and alert around bugs.
#haaaah. not much to be done.
#maybe i should go somewhere farther away?
#i have one place in mind. but how would i get there?
#theres like this stupid family emergency going on round where i wanna go so im sorta hesitent to ask for them to drive me.
#hm. well maybe ill talk to my mom and see what we can do? once im camping ill be fine anyways.
#all i rly need to eat is granola bars that i like. anything else is a bonus.
#and i could take a break from all this *vaguely gestures around everywhere*
#i could write and draw and take plenty of pictures. i should have enough room on my camera afterall. maybe i should check tho
#i think this would be the cheapest option but also one of the more fun.
#i dont have a passport rn so maybe i should start the application process? hm. i think ill go to japan next maybe.
#or somewhere else perhaps? theres so much i wanna do suddenly lmao.
#i can tell im still quite depressed. but idk what happened - most likely its that mentality
#but rly i just wanna go have fun somewhere.
#idk. i love to travel and with covid and everything i havent been able to and it makes me feel trapped.
#i dont wanna be here forever. i sometimes hate it here... but. i just wanna go. yknow?
#haaah. i rly wanna know whats wrong with me. like. not that i feel its something inherently wrong
#just... i wanna know whats going on so i can better accommodate it yknow?
#either way a short vacation sounds nice. like a 5 day or so one. of course this doesnt mean that ill just jump ship lmao
#but hm. where to go? i cant drive so i gotta plan around that in the end. hm hm hmm. well i guess ill browse around.
#i think ill research more on my break? or whenever i have free time lmao. even tho its not much. haha.
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