#im really trying not to doom scroll but theres nothing else i can do right now
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Bless my SSRIs because if this were the unmedicated me of 5 years ago I'd be floating down the Charles right now.
#its day 9#day fucking 9 and were already at concentration camp stage#im really trying not to doom scroll but theres nothing else i can do right now#i go to work and try not to have a mental breakdown because everything seems so fucking normal#but the writing is bleeding from the walls#i want to quit so i can actually be a part of the community or create art or just process everything but my dwindling bank account exists#its the same feeling i had during the first half of 2020#one of the only reasons im coping rn is the meds#i dont know what to do#i dont have anyone to comfort me#its just me in my aparment desperately distracting myself with entertainment so i dont have a big mental breakdown#i wont even get into the ever increasing paranoia that me or the people i love are going to get snatched off the streets#this blog and my current book collection is just the most easily twistable evidence to create thoughtcrime#theres no point in scrubbing it all because archives exist and im probably already on a list despite only talking the talk#i will still clutch to hope but honestly the only thing i see in the near future is a bleakness that keeps getting bleaker
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