#im really grateful to those who do and hope you like this work as much as i do

[bitchlessdino]

stolen entries (m)

airing: fem!Reader x stalker!joshua

Genre: thriller, smut, stalking au

Word count: 10k

tags: PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON’T FOLLOW IN THE READERS FOOTSTEPS AND STAY SAFE. rated R for life RUINING, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AND READ WARNINGS TO AVOID ANY TRIGGERING SUBJECTS, stalking, wrong just very morally black!joshua, dark imagery including but not limited to: implied and mentions of murder/threat, mentions of manipulation, mentions of blood, window sex and implied fear of falling out, possessive!joshua, pet names (angel, darling, ect), hair pulling, spanking, blowjobs/cunnilingus with consumption, face fucking, degradation, praise kink

Summary: Diary entries of a man in love. Joshua knew he loved you the moment he laid his eyes on you and had to have you, even if it meant enduring the echoes of every intimate detail of every sexual encounter you’d had before him. But he knew you were worth the wait. He was worth the wait.

author note: thank you @diamonddaze01 @wongyuseokie @tomodachiii @miabebe for betareading! mental health is great thank you for asking, im really excited to have been working on this and everyone involved in betaing have been so incredibly helpful. i hope yall enjoy and thank you again for your patience. <3

Tag: @shiningstar-byulxx @misssugarlips @tommolex @hoeforhao @dkakapizzaboy @junhui-recs @svtup @buffhoshi @meowmeowminnie @caratochan @lovebot4han @camisun93 @emmmui @toruro @jeonride @novalpha @nvmrljk @feat-sun @tinkerbell460 @aaniag @tacosandbitch @kyeomiis @wonwooz1-blog @horanghaezone @stagefrjghts @pantumin @aaniag @mochisdayone @gyuguys @idubiluranghae

Entry #3 - November 30th: White suits you.

You look so perfect the way you do. Perfect in white. Perfect in lace. Perfect. Perfect. Forgive me, darling, for being redundant. But that’s all you look to me. Perfect. 

What wasn’t perfect was who you had in your room.

How perfectly imperfect.

But what was perfect was those sounds. So lewd. So perfect. Decadent. Enchanting you are, my dear. I wish I had been the reason for those sounds, but for now, I can only live vicariously through November 30th. He will only be known as November 30th. He doesn't deserve a name.

But, in a way, I should thank him. He’s satiating you now. He’s getting you ready for me as I’m getting ready for you.

Be patient, my sweet.

Entry #15 - December 15th: You like how it hurts.

 I don’t like this one. He’s rude. Doesn’t even open the door for you. Doesn’t say thank you or please when he asks for something. Just dumps you into bed like you’re a ragdoll.

For some reason, you like that. You like that it hurts. You like it so much you scream his name. I’m forced to learn it. 

Seokmin. 

Seokmin. Seokmin. Seokmin. 

Awful name. Awful on the tongue. I’d be better on the tongue.

But instead, he’s striking you. And I see red. In more ways than one. And you should be in agony, and I’d rescue you. But you’re laughing. You’re begging for more. You’re not fighting him to stop. You enjoy it too much. 

So I’m watching again. But I’m not gonna like it. I don't like him.

But you like it. That’s what matters. I despise December 15th—what he does to you, how much you like it, and how much I could do so much better.

Entry #32 - January 1st: You like to teach.

Happy New Year, darling. You started off with someone young. Someone talkative. An amateur. You’re drunk, however, so I'm sure you’ll regret it in the morning.

But for now, you’re enjoying yourself yet again, and by god is it messy. He’s very messy. He touches you like he’s never had experience before, and you let him. I should resent you, but in no way can. You’re precious. My experimental little darling. I’m addicted to you. I must have you, and neither this Chan, Seokmin, nor Jeonghan can stop me.

But for now, I'm grateful the boy cut it short. Like the late bloomer is. How incompetent. But you made it a teaching opportunity. You’re quite good at it. And you made the boy work to your advantage. That’s so sexy. So you. Not only are you beautiful, but you’re also clever. Just like I knew you’d be. January 1st is a good kid. But he should stay in his lane before I push him into one.

Entry #45 January 13th: Dirty talk is a must.

This one is rather peculiar. Overly confident. And rather…annoying. Like a puppy without a leash. Drunk on ego and hard liquor with names I don’t even bother to pronounce. He’s pretentious and it’s clear in the way he undresses himself for you.

He treats you like he’s the only man in the world, and you’re simply beneath him, but I know you’re so much more. Yet, you encourage it. You encourage his… delusion that he’s this outstanding work of art.

You love how he narrates, how he talks to you as if you’re incompetent—degrading even—and you egg him on. “Good girl” this, “bad slut” that. It’s contradictory, but you enjoy it nonetheless. You get off on such obscenity. You’re euphoric from it. Although I hate to do such a thing and call you rancid names, I’ll have to ponder more creative versions.

Nonetheless, you like a bit of chatter, don’t you? Well, January 13th will have nothing on me, my little Angel.

Entry #78 - February 15th: You can keep going until you’re in ruin.

You’ve had a lonely month, and I do apologize, my darling, especially since it’s partially my fault. It is not my time just yet to have you. I must discipline myself first. Condition myself to cater to your every whim. And you have a lot of them.

You’re greedy. This one was utterly restless, I almost felt bad. His stamina had nothing on yours, darling, and I see that you can bite more than you can chew. You’re insatiable. I lost track of the hours that night. My knees, scraped raw and red against the rough concrete floor, as I stayed hidden in the shadows, waiting for you to finish, which you did. Again. Again. Again. Again. 

I was starting to abhor this February 15th. What country did he save in his past life that earned him such devoted attention? Was he just that amazing? Did he make you 1000% satisfied? Would I have to kill him for that kind of love? Skin him and string him up like Christmas lights? It would be nice to prepare for the holidays early, wouldn’t it?

I’ll refrain for now. For your sake. But to keep up with you, my condition needs to multiply tenfold. I need to be able to be ready. Do what I need to to make indubitably and utterly mine.

M I N E.

Entry # 124 - April 1st: Toys are for adults too.

The joke was on me thinking you’ve changed your ways. Making love, or should I say primal sex, seemed to be something in the back of your head, but that wasn’t the case.

Instead, you fucked someone. A comedian nonetheless, and after he had finished his stand-up. You sat your pretty ass on the stool beside him, twirling your pretty strands of hair, batting your pretty lashes on that pretty face of yours. Just because it was April Fool's day doesn't mean you had to be the fool, my love. That was reckless. 

But I suppose I learned something about you. Something you like in bed that you haven’t exhibited in others is that although you love a good laugh, it wasn’t fit for the bedroom. Sometimes, toys aren’t just a trickster's accessory but a vixen’s too. They are just simply different. Distinctly different.

Though a comedian’s job is to speak, you had him—well—gagged. Ball-gagged, no less. That was... intriguing. Enticing, to say the least, and you turned the whole performance into something far more captivating. There’s always something new I’m learning about you, love. And I can’t wait to show you what I’m capable of when I finally get my hands on you—and your toys.

Entry # 200 - June 14th: You could do it anywhere.

Keeping up with your summer antics wasn’t easy. Considering every precaution I’ve taken and every obstacle I’ve faced, I did everything from double-checking flight numbers to calculating the perfect distance to stay hidden. If only you could appreciate my efforts, love. I had to make sure my hiding place remained undetected—always just far enough to stay out of sight, but close enough to ensure your safety.

And while I thought a vacation with your family was the last place you’d do looking, you wound up somehow in your brother’s best friend’s bed. Seungcheol, was it? You really have no fear, do you? All while your family was all downstairs, you were getting your desserts while everyone was preparing for dinner, wondering where you were.

Or when it was time to go down by the beach and you had a little adventure in the dressing room of ‘Martha’s Swimsuit Boutique.’ The employees blamed the sounds on the old building fixtures or whatever was happening next door, but I knew what was happening in there. Hell, every person with working ears knew what was happening in there. 

Every fiber of my being is screaming at me to forget you, to stop loving you, to forget you and how much you’ve hurt me. But I can't. No matter how much I want to or how many times I try, you're in my blood now. You're in my head, under my skin, and I can't rip you out. I don’t even want to.

You’re a part of me I can’t remove, like a vital organ. I just want you. I need you. I breathe you. If you want to do so much, I would take you right there on the dining table and wouldn’t care who watched, just to please you. Feel, taste, pound every part of you, from the red in your veins to cum that would flood in between my gums.

I  D O N T  K N O W  H O W  M U C H  L O N G E R  I  C A N  W A I T.

Entry # 237 - July 20th: At the end of the day, you want love too.

There’s no need to cry. He was never meant to have you is all. I must commend your brother. He beat that boy harder than I expected him to, but then again I would do a lot worse.

He didn’t deserve to have your heart. He was an idiot. I would never be like him. And you’ll realize that soon enough.

I would show you so much more. I can be so much more. I am so much more. My darling, I would travel to the next galaxy to have you, give you all that you desire, and make it so that the only tears you shed are the ones in bed when I prove to you how much you’re mine as much as I am yours.

Entry # 242 - July 25th: Today is the day.

Preemptively, I decided to go with a scent you’re familiar with. You've held out for weeks, even months, since your miraculous escape on July 20th. You’re stronger now, more confident, self-assured. very mindful, very demure. I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist saying it—just like you’ve repeated since locking yourself away. It’s cute, really. This whole ‘recovery’ thing, it suits you.

It’s like you were made to pique my interest and appetite. Even right now, as you’re outside the window of this restaurant, unsure if you want to enter because this was the one you’d frequent so often with him. Your favorite place to be since you were a little one. 

I still can’t believe you decided to move back home. As if he hadn’t hurt you enough, you breathe the air he does? Watching him engage with the pretty blonde on his arm will not heal you, my sweet Angel. It is wrecking you. You should’ve left when you had planned to then.

I picked up my life and ran after you because I worried so much. I worried what would happen if I weren’t around to be with you. To make sure you’re okay. But I won’t have to anymore.

Today, I pretended to pick up a book you dropped to make eye contact with you, slipping a secret message I left on a Post-it inside. I hope you read it. I hope you reciprocate. And if you don’t, it had been all for nothing.

I’d be nothing.

Entry # 243 - July 26th: I love you.

You answered back, just like I thought you would.

“Hi :)” you said, with that cute emoji thing you do. How adorable. 

For a moment I was worried, you wouldn’t but only a moment I promise. I would never doubt you. I have entire faith in you, you’d realize what this is. The fire I have burning for you. 

I’m glad you’re giving us the chance to realize what we’re meant to be. I can’t wait for our first date. I’m so excited, I don’t even know what to write for today. I just want to live in the bliss of knowing that you finally see me. See me.

Entry # 244 - July 27th: You couldn't wait, and I almost gave in.

You tried kissing me. Put your hand on my thigh. Brushing against my–

I can’t be impatient. This journey can’t be rushed. No matter how much I want to push your head into the mattress and split you in half as you’re calling out my name.

The sooner I give in, the easier it is to make me a rebound. And I am no rebound.

I am meant to be your eternal. Your other half. Your perfect opposite.

Sleeping with you as soon as tonight would’ve tainted our beginning. You mean so much more to me than that. 

Just know I want you so bad. I want to get to know you. I want to see you. For our future to start, we need to start this off right. You’ve signed up for a slow burn, my darling.

We are worth the wait.

Entry # 255 - August 7th: I love you more than I realize.

We are so good together. Even if the bag boy decides to flirt with you in front of me, and even if you entertain it a little, thinking I wouldn’t see.

You’re trying to punish me for being disciplined. It’s funny. The things I could do to punish you for testing my patience. Don’t pretend to be all innocent when you bend your ass towards me, leaning up against the conveyer belt to show off both your…assets. Give a show to me and that loud vest-wearing scum.

You think you’re so clever. So sneaky. And maybe you are. You’ve made quite the effort to conceal the truth about your previous relations. I like to think you’re doing it for me. For my sake. Because you’re so considerate. But I know the truth my darling. I know all I need to know about you. But I appreciate your efforts.

You really do love me. And somehow, I love you even more.

Entry # 297 - September 18th: You miss him.

You saw him today, and although you hid it, I could see it in your eyes. You miss him still. Like he was a scar etched into you, or a blood stain that was impossible to get out. 

Did I have to kill him to rid you of thoughts of him? End your suffering by ending his life. It would be easy. So so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so easy.

I just can’t stand the way you look at him. A mere boy when a man like me is beside you.

Making you wait feels almost impossible now. Who the hell am I kidding? I’m the one who's waiting.

I just had to do one last thing before. Just one more thing. By then it would be final. And it would just be us. Forever.

-

You had been seeing Joshua for just a few months, but he was different from the guys you’ve met before. A genuinely good guy. Gentlemanly, even. You found it cute and maybe hot–absolutely hot. Nothing more attractive than knowing a man can keep his hands to himself.

But now, you found yourself wondering if he had not initiated because of something else. Since you’ve met, he’s always been the perfect gentleman, polite and thoughtful in a refreshing and frustrating way. It’s rare to meet a man who doesn’t leap at the chance to get you into bed, and while you found his restraint enticing and irresistible, it also left you questioning whether he’s just being courteous—or if he’s doing it on purpose to ward you off.

You’ve given Joshua every hint imaginable. The thong peeking out from your jeans when you bent over, the casual unbuttoning of your top whenever his eyes drifted your way—each move deliberate, strategic. You even threw in your signature look, those smoldering eyes that always did the trick, scanning his body as if you could ravage him whole, and you would. It had a flawless track record. Until Joshua, that is.

It made you want him more. Like he was making you wait, beg for his attention. Made you forget for a moment you were crying over Seungcheol some time ago. As if your heart didn’t shatter into a million pieces shortly before meeting Joshua.

Even when you saw Seungcheol briefly–so briefly–a part of you still missed your ex, but you craved being in Joshua’s arms more. Like medicine. Joshua was your medicine.

God, you needed him so fucking viscerally.

That’s when you decided. No more beating around the bush this time. It’s been four months too long. You had to have this man.

You decided to make a surprise appearance at his place–the address you just happened to "discover" on his driver’s license when he wasn’t paying attention. And, of course, you showed up wearing something kind of insane.

You know those movie scenes where the sexy love interest throws on an oversized trench coat with barely anything underneath, or sometimes nothing at all? Yeah, well... you decided to try that. And now you’re waiting outside of his apartment building in the autumn weather–freezing your literal ass off–waiting for him to get home to give him the surprise of his life.

It had been over an hour, and with each exhale, your breath hung in the air, a visible reminder of the cold.  You hugged your coat tighter around your body, clutching it like it was the only barrier between you and freezing to death. And honestly, it might as well have been. Standing outside his building in practically nothing had your heart racing for all the wrong reasons.

Here you were trying to be all cutesy, sexy, and fun, and this damn man wasn’t even home. Were you out of your mind?

The anxiety was creeping in. The biting autumn air had found every exposed inch of your skin, and your confidence was sinking fast. Just when you were ready to leave this cringe-fest waiting to happen, and retreat to the warmth of your own home, you heard footsteps approaching from down the street. Your pulse quickened as you glanced up, and there he was, walking towards you in a long dark coat and sweater.

Joshua’s eyes met yours, his expression shifting from confusion to slow realization as registered you from his distance, watching you stand there bundled in your trench coat with something obviously beneath it. His lips parted slightly, his brow furrowed, but there was no judgment—just surprise, and more so curiosity.

You instinctively tightened your grip on the coat, pulling it closer around your nearly bare body as you leaned against the wooden front door that had been stubbornly keeping you outside. “Hey,” you managed to whisper, your voice trembling slightly in the cold, watching your breath materialize in the air as a delicate cloud of frost.

“Hi?” His tone was cautious but amused as if he was trying to piece together exactly what was waiting at his doorstep. He shoved his leather-gloved hands into the pockets of his own coat, a soft smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “This is...unexpected. What are you doing here?”

You let out a shaky laugh, nerves bubbling up as you shifted on your feet, your bare thighs scraping against one another as they clenched. “Yeah, so... there’s a really good explanation for all of this, but, um...” You glanced down at yourself, then back up at him, feeling more exposed than ever. “Can I come in first?”

His place was disturbingly neat—psychopathically neat. It was the kind of spotless where everything seemed too perfect, like someone with more than a few screws loose needed complete control over their space. Every surface gleamed, not a speck of dust or a misplaced item in sight.

“Want something warm? Tea, maybe?” He politely offered with a warm smile.

You found yourself mirroring his smile, a giddy excitement bubbling inside you like a teenager with a crush. With a light skip, you made your way back toward him, the trench coat swaying around you like an oversized brown paper bag—so tempting to just shed it. “That sounds really nice. Anything would be good.”

“Okay. I’ll put on some Earl Grey for you.” His lingering smilewas the last thing you see before he disappeared in the kitchen, giving you the opportunity to learn more about the owner of the home.

Nothing was out of place. The walls were a sterile beige, devoid of any warmth or personality, while the furniture radiated with an unsettling shine that suggested it had never truly been used. Not a single wrapper marred the coffee table, nor was there a crumb in sight—everything was meticulously arranged as if he harbored an unyielding aversion to disorder. It felt more like a stage set than a home, the kind of place that made you wonder if anyone actually lived here, especially given the spontaneity of your intrusion.

Your blood ran cold. The longer you scanned the room, the more strange it felt to be standing there. The hairs on the back of your neck prickled as unease settled in. You suddenly found yourself questioning why he was taking so long with the tea.

Your toes curled in discomfort as you glanced over to where Joshua had disappeared, and just then, he emerged from the kitchen, two mugs of steaming hot tea in either hand. He set them down on the coffee table with a practiced ease and settled onto the pristine couch behind him. “Have a seat. We can wait while the tea steeps.”

You nodded, a tight look on your face, and lowered yourself onto the couch beside him, accepting a cup and sipping on its deeply rich content. “Thank you.”

“Now, what brought you over here? I’m surprised you managed to find out where I lived...considering I never told you,” he said, his expression blank as he nursed his cup in his hands.

“Well,” you began, swallowing hard as the heat from the tea scalded your tongue and burned its way down your throat. “I’m not quite sure how to explain this, but…I found your driver’s license when it fell out of your wallet on one of our dates, and I kind of memorized your address? I thought I’d surprise you.” You paused, a nervous laugh escaping. “That’s weird, isn’t it?”

He set his tea at the corner of the coffee table, and clasped his hands together, a teasing glint in his eyes hearing your confession. “Well... I commend you for not only your bravery in the doing and admitting fault, but it’s not that weird, actually. It’s kind of flattering.”

“Really? But I invaded your privacy. That’s invasive—almost illegal, isn’t it?” 

For a fleeting moment, you swore you saw his fists clench, but then one of his hands slid over yours, his thumb gently brushing against your knuckle, quickening your heart rate. “But if I say it’s okay, then it’s okay. Right?”

Also, setting your tea aside, your other hand instinctively fell on top of his, the earlier discomfort and worry fading into the background. “I guess so.”

He shifted closer, his knee brushing against yours. “You look cold. Would you like a hug to warm you up?”

“S-sure,” you managed to stutter, your voice barely above a whisper as you accepted his invitation.

As his arms enveloped you, you felt the raw strength he kept hidden beneath the layers of clothing. The warmth radiated from his body, and you could feel the tension in his muscles as he tightened his embrace around you, holding you protectively–possessively even. You breathed in his scent, registering his cologne you were all too familiar with and something else you couldn’t put your finger on. For a moment, every trace of anxiety disappeared. Joshua had a way of making you feel secure again, of restoring that sense of safety you hadn't realized was what you were in search of.

You leaned into it, your breath fanning over the skin of his neck as your hand roamed up his back, eager to peel off his physical and mental layers keeping you from devouring him with reckless abandon. You wanted to pull him closer, to feel the reassuring weight of his body against yours, like your own personal shield. The conflicting urge to consume him entirely, to the point of exhaustion, while simultaneously cherishing every part of him was a dilemma you never anticipated facing—especially so soon after a breakup. Joshua stirred something deep within you, something you couldn’t even begin to explain, no matter how hard you tried.

When he let you go, the absence of his warmth was immediate, but the kind smile on his face remained as if reassuring you that everything was fine. “Better?”

“Yeah. That was nice,” you whispered, still holding his hands, both large and perfect.

“Good. Now. What was this surprise that couldn’t wait for a text or phone call?”

Now, a wave of nerves washed over you once more.

Your hands fiddled with the straps keeping your attire in place, and you hesitated before standing before him, mustering up the final bit of courage you had left in place of your dignity. “Well, I wasn’t quite sure if you were just being the polite gentleman who could ��do no wrong’ or if you’d been completely oblivious to the hints I’ve been throwing your way since our first date. But I’m here making it as clear as possible for you, Joshua Hong.”

With a determined tug, you loosened the tie that held your closure in place, letting it slip from its knot and revealing the reason you felt goosebumps up your legs. Your breasts bulged out of the lacy fabric, leaving almost nothing to the imagination and hugging parts of your body the man before you had only seen in passing through a window. The pillowy flesh spilling from your decorated underwear left him with a sensation that wrapped around Joshua’s throat and clenched.

He couldn’t feel himself breathing, drinking in your exposed skin, admiring the bright white of the lingerie complimenting your skin as it clung on to you seamlessly, while the trench coat finally found itself where it belonged on the ground. He sank the couch behind him as you came closer, wordlessly tracing every curve, dotting every mole, noting every mark or scar as you loomed over him in feigned innocence. The only air he could draw was his ragged breath, his hands aching to touch you.

“I would love nothing more than to have your hands all over me,” You said with a sultry edge, dripping with obvious intent.

Your knee dug into the couch's cushion, the other following and taking residence in Joshua’s lap as he simply watched. His eyes softly blinked back up at you as you settled into him, having him melt under every word you spoke.

“Is that so?” He asked calmly, physically refraining himself, and ignoring the dark thoughts clouding his logic.

You threw your arms around his neck, gazing down at him as you shifted in his lap. “I do. It’s all I can ever think about anymore. Ever since these last four months.”

“Hmm,” he hummed thoughtfully, and you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks, like steam escaping from a kettle.

“Is that all you have to say?” 

“...Am I supposed to say something more?”

“How about–I don’t know. ‘I’ve been waiting for you to say that the whole time,’ or ‘I feel the exact same way, tongue wrestle me until we pass out.’ Give me something,” You begged.

He shrugged, playing up his ignorance. “Doesn’t sound like me? Does it?”

“Is this really all you can talk about? A girl in her best lacy underwear–in white mind you–sitting in your lap like she’s accepting ones in a night club, and you’re fixated on your characterization?”

He shrugged again as if taunting you, the smile on his face growing sinister at your agitation. “I have poor depth perception.”

You groaned, your body feeling heavy as you slumped against him, ready to slide off his lap in defeat. “I give up.”

But just as you were about to peel away from him, you felt a firm pair of hands steady you, anchoring you in place. Joshua’s eyes sharpened as his grip tightened, fitting your body in the curves of his palms. “Where do you think you’re going?”

You blinked back at him, confused yet oddly at home in his touch, despite the rapid beat of your heart suggesting otherwise. “I thought–I kinda thought you wanted nothing to do with me,” you reluctantly answered.

His cool palm slid against your flushed skin, trailing up your body and igniting a path of fire that battled the waves of chills following up your spine. Instinctively, you fell forward, involuntarily pressing your lace-clad chest against the cashmere of his sweater and finding purchase back around his broad shoulders, which looked bigger than usual. A soft squeak passed your lips as he tugged you towards, fitting your bodies together like pieces of a puzzle.

“You couldn’t be more wrong.” His hands grasped the sides of your thighs as he tucked them around his torso, not once breaking eye contact. 

You felt a cold sweat trickle down your skin, your body stiffening as you focused solely on the soothing tenor of Joshua’s voice. “I always see how you look at me, Angel.” His fingers carded through your hair, pushing it to one side and delicately grazing over the fullness of your breast. “And I love how you look at me.”

“Josh,” Your voice emerged softer than you expected, almost tinged with a plea as you drew closer.

“And believe me when I say this, darling, I’ll always want something to do with you. I want everything to do with you…if you let me.”

You felt his hand somewhere you’ve only ever imagined: at the hook of your bra before he slowly started to unlatch it, the straps falling off your shoulders as your support came undone. You were grateful to be pressed so close to him. Otherwise, your entire upper body would be entirely nude. Entirely exposed. You tucked your arm over your chest, gaze dropping at the perceived proximity until Joshua gently moved you by the chin to meet his eyes.

“Don’t.” He quietly demanded, purposefully moving away, and the undergarment fell from your body, your nipples christened by the chill air conditioning. “So perfect.”

His hand hovered over their shape, only ghosting over them but not nearly touching, yet either bud tensed at their mere presence. You exhaled shakily, your breath uneven and impatient, as your eyes suddenly drifted away, overwhelmed by an unexpected rush from his uncharacteristic attention.

“You don’t want to know how much I imagined putting you in my mouth.” His pursed lips landed on your collarbone in an open mouth kiss, gently pulling you between his lips.

You softly moaned, unfurling your digits before they slid up his neck. You couldn’t think, you couldn’t speak, you couldn’t do anything but—you felt his mouth latch onto you, teeth burying into your flesh. You parted your lip in another moan, instinctively reacting to the familiar concoction of pain and pleasure exhibited by previous partners, but this was Joshua. Gentlemanly Joshua.

He bared his hand flat against your back, dipping your body towards the coffee table and pressing urgent kisses to the hollow of your neck, lingering against the pulse of your throat and digging his hips into your pelvis. Your hand roamed over his body, cradling his head and pressing him closer against you as your knee hooked around his waist. 

Joshua swung his hand behind you, knocking over the mugs with a loud crash, sending tea spilling everywhere on the ground as the flat surface of the coffee table urgently met your exposed back. It stung how cold it initially was until the weight of his body stunned you, leaving you impervious to everything else. He grabbed your side, wrestling with the skin of your clavicle as his hand ran harshly over your erect buds, grinding them under his palm.

In between your legs, you felt warmth—the kind that makes a show when you could only think of being rammed at 100 miles an hour—and you felt it soak in the fabric of the lace, flossed between your folds when you were desperate for friction. “Joshua, please…” you cried.

He shoved away the useless bra now just hanging off your body before his lips curled around the curve of your breasts, kissing their underside as his thumbs fiddled with their sensitivity. Your knees bent towards you, your hips pulsating against his thigh as his tongue taunted you, flicking over the texture of your nipples and nipping at the tips as he pulled with his teeth.  You whimpered, body falling limp on the table as he nursed you between his lips, his eyes piercing back at you lewdly as an occasional moan would leave his lips.

“Tell me how you like it. Teach me.” He spoke with a quiet, commanding authority.

“Y-you seem to be doing a good job so far.”

He smiled, running his hand through your hair before it gripped between his knuckles, sending a rush of ache from your scalp. Your eyes shot up to meet his, a blend of fear and arousal flashing through them, but you were quickly soothed by the gaze he held, sultry and unshakable. “Should I be mean then?” He offered.

You let out a brief yelp after his hand swatted over your plush thigh, your flesh spilling between his fingers as he squeezed. The bridge of your nose touched your speechless expression, lips tracing over your face with a deep exhale. “Give you the kind of things you want? What I learned about you?”

“What have y-you learned?” you hesitated to ask.

His eyes glazed over you, seeing you melt at a simple glance before tenderly pressing his lips to yours, only sampling. You mewled in the depths of your throat, lips falling open as you kissed him for the first time, succumbing to the pillowy texture of his lips. His eyes partially open, he fixed his eyes on your features, how they contorted with his touch, reacting involuntarily to the rocking of his body against you. He was obsessed with the mere image of you.

“What I’ve learned, hmm,” he quietly pondered. 

Giving him time to think, your hand cupped over his attached to your thigh, guiding it under you and around your ass, letting his digits outline the curve of your body. He chuckled and brought the other hand parallel, following his carnal urge to clutch you tightly in his grip. A smile melted on your face briefly, enjoying the sensation of his hands before he roughly pulled down your underwear before you could even gasp, leaving you truly naked. 

“I’ve learned that when you want something, you take it.” His hands come down to the bottom of his sweater and pull it along with what’s underneath off of him. 

His glistening tan reflected back at you, beads of perspiration coating his skin—likely a result of months of tension finally unfolding. As you took him in for the first time, the way the light and shadows sculpted his form accentuated his physique, leaving you stunned and curious about what else he might’ve been hiding from you.

“So take what you want from me, Angel.” 

God, you really could swallow him whole in a single gulp.

You repositioned yourself, planted your knees on the table, and tugged him by his belt. Your once pleading eyes became determined as you fixated on tearing off his pants, starting by unbuckling his belt at the waist. Your eyes fluttered, seeing the bulge through his briefs, twitching in your presence while you fit a finger at the top hem. A sigh escaped you; glance briefly up at Joshua’s expression–full of patient anticipation–before wrapping your hands around his aroused girth.

“...You’ve been waiting for me,” you began to realize, seeing the cock firm up in your grasp.

He let out an amused hum, stroking the side of your head. “I wanted to make sure you wanted me.”

“Of course, I wanted you.” Your hand ran along his shaft, veins pulsing on the ball of your palm, and you pressed the head to your lips. “I just wanted you to show me you wanted me.”

Joshua’s groans barely escaped as your lips curved around the tip and more than gently kissed. His hand clasped around your head, moving it so your eyes could face his, seeing him come apart in front of you. From just your teasing. “Darling, if I did that…I’d never know when to stop.”

“Joshua. I’d never ask you to stop.”

His hand cupped your face, and you melted into his palm–absolutely reveling in the blind infatuation on your face before he made you face his arousal, cock grazing your chin before he pressed it past your lips. Your lips stretched around him like a rubber band, expanding to conquer his size but not with ease. Your hand covered his base and enveloping his length as much as you could.

“Angel,” he grunted.

He claimed the back of your head, leading your pace as you took him. Your hands clasped around his hips, fastening yourself to him. You could already feel your drool drip alongside your chin, becoming sloppy as you were fixated on his complexion: blissed with parted lips, looking at you like he’d been touched for the first time.

Your moans vibrated around him as he thrusted into you, momentarily breaching the air of his pelvis before he pulled you back, flicking his hips into your mouth and overcome with ecstasy. “My good little Angel,” he groans, breath hitching in his throat. “Taking my cock like you were made for me.”

He tugged your hair tighter as you felt the hilt hit the back of your throat, and you thought to yourself how much It would’ve hurt if you weren’t otherwise drunk with bliss. You buried him deep inside you, holding him with both hands, sobbing on him with such anguish that people would assume you hadn’t been fed for days. 

Joshua’s pretty lips got caught in his pretty teeth, and the darkness in his eyes deepened to a richer, more intense black as a sense of reckless abandon enveloped him. “God…look at you…good little slut like you likes taking cock like mine, doesn’t she?”

The sensation of your mouth massaged him heavenly, having you taste the heady tang of his skin on your tongue while your nose tickled against his groin. He clutched your head, your whimpers and cries pulsating around his girth, fucking your mouth until you hit the base. You looked up, pliant and willing, as tears swelled in your eyes, cheeks hot to the touch, and a thick sheen of slobber over your lips. 

You’re precious. And his. All his.

He pried either of your hands off him and restrained them above your head, carrying the weight of his control in his hips, crushing your mouth against his lap. While one hand had stabilized your wrists, the other back fell back in your hair, fucking your pretty mouth until he couldn’t anymore.

Joshua felt his name muffled around his cock, staring back at you as you repeated his name, desperation echoing from your throat, but not to stop–oh no, he recognized this stare. He held you towards him, cutting your airways with hardly a second to breathe. Your eyes fluttered. Pupils began to roll to the back of your head as his cock slid down your throat, bottoming out inside you for the first time.

“You want my cum, don’t you? You’re so damn obvious you do,” he taunted in an unfamiliar tone, foreign to you but nonetheless welcome.

You hummed confirmation around the girth, practically whining with full cheeks.

“Angel, you know what it means when I do, right?” he loomed over you, as your mouth was still pressed against him in an abrupt halt, still tasting all of him. “Do you understand what you’re getting into? The second I cum inside you–mouth or cunt–you’re mine. Are you ready for that responsibility?”

You nodded, impatience singeing your tongue.

“Really?” The fingers threaded through your hair pulled you off, giving you the sharpest intake of oxygen before you fell right back where you belonged with a slam. The pain in your throat caused it to go hoarse, and the tears once swelling in your eyes streamed down your face. “You better mean it, darling. Words aren’t just a promise to me; they’re a vow.”

His final thrusts were steady but harsh, pressing his size inside of you until you gagged, and finally, when he was merciful, you felt his hot stream coat your throat. His hips found their falter, plunging in and out of you–the cum dribbling down your chin until he finally let you go, prying you off him and giving you a moment of rest sprawled on the coffee table.

But only a moment.

His hands wordlessly caressed you, body drained from release, but mind hungry for your essence. Every word he’s ever said in this exchange, he’s meant with every fiber of his being, down to his very core.

“Tired, darling? We’re only getting started.”

You softly chuckled, a tired smile reappearing for the first time in a while. “I’m in for a lot with you, aren’t I?” you asked, strain evident in your voice.

“You’re asking that question far too little too late, Angel.”

His lips puckered to met yours in a gentle kiss, then another, then another. You held him against you, not minding how disheveled you looked with your pulled hair and mascara streaks staining your cheeks, it was your turn. 

Joshua found your body easily in your liplock, gliding his hands up and down your body in rushed motions as if memorizing you by touch. Your dips, your curves, your angles. There wasn’t one part of you he dared to miss. And you smiled, you chuckled, so lust blind to see the symptoms forming before your very eyes as if they weren’t already there. He swallowed your laughter, tasting victory on your tongue, and nuzzled in the crook of your lips. “Can I do the things I'm willing to do for you–what I’m willing to do to you?”

You cupped his face, an impish grin on your face. “Stop asking and fuck me like you love me, Joshua.”

Gladly. 

He held either of your legs at his side, fingers aligning your folds and splitting in half. If they didn’t already look big, they most certainly felt big. A single digit only traced along your slit, and your hips buckled, fluttering at the sliver of taste. 

“I’ve barely grazed you, and you’re like a flood down there,” he quietly teased, pushing in his index halfway. 

You clenched around him, then around nothing, and he repeated, effortlessly stealing your breath with every move. You anchored yourself to the edge of the table. “You know exactly why, Josh.” You whimpered.

He then pushes in the full digit–reaching deeper than you expected–and you convulse around him. Your head snapped back, the phantom strings of Joshua’s nasty habits–already acquainted with your body–pulling you in without warning. “Oh my god.”

“You’re so easy to please. As if I know everything about your body without you telling me.” He thrusted his finger, cultivating a rhythm he knew would be perfect for his little darling.

“It’s as if…we’ve known each other forever.” You stated in your countless, staggered breaths.

“Forever…” he plunged another finger, feeling you flutter around him delightfully, “with you?”

His smile, that unsettling perfect smile, pressed a tender kiss against your lips. “I rather like that. Me and you. Forever.”

You quietly laughed before tugging him into a deeper liplock, gently slotting your finger through his hair, not worried about ruining its pristine as you pulled him closer. “I’ll take you and me forever.”

“Now, angel–” you took the hand he had inside you to guide him faster, deeper, your language becoming gasps and moans in a matter of seconds.

He didn’t bother finishing his thought, too enraptured by your demanding hunger, that he pressed on further, feeding you his digits as you swallowed each one by one. His thumb caressed your pulsating bud for extra good measure, taking pleasure at how often you shake when he does, and rammed his fingers deeper in you, finally hearing what his name sounds like in a state of bliss.

He’s overcome with pride–nay–overcome with triumph. The way you look at him with such an utterly lewd expression, your delicious scent a thick film on your body that he couldn’t help but want to lick and devour and engorge. He didn’t need to have another orgasm for another second if it meant seeing you come apart the way you were right now. 

“Joshua!” you cried, body shaking as if you were glitching, having an out-of-body experience, and you undid yourself the way he did: utterly and perfectly euphoric.

You creamed his digits with nectar, milky and fair, and he didn’t wait a second for them to enter his mouth, knuckles deep. His eyes fell shut from elation, moaning around his hands, and he caught even the slightest drop down his wrists. 

You were fucking–

“Magnificent.” He swallowed your lips once more, hungrily, arousal rushing down to his body again. “Perfect, my sweet little angel.”

“...forever. Me and you.” You repeated, not getting pass the conversation that was interrupted what felt like a millennia ago. “I’ll take you for forever. And that’s a vow for me, too.”

Joshua never expected this, such a scene of ease and pristine, seeing his future lie limp and happy and fucked. You had never looked so beautiful. After all the men you’ve met, all the bodies you’ve collided with, all the dicks you’ve sucked, you always had a glow. It’s why he tolerated such things, but to see that glow after him. It was the most radiating version of you. And to know you’ll have him. He was the happiest man alive.

“Oh, my darling.” He pulled you up from the table to sit you back in his lap, parting away your hair to clearly see your face smiling back at him even with the fatigue. “You are the most perfect thing.” he shook his head in disbelief, unsure how he got so lucky.

“Let me take you to bed, hmm?”

You quietly nodded, admiring him back all the same.

You wrapped your legs around him tightly, before lifting you both up from the ground and walked into his bedroom–just as unnervingly neat as his living room. Or should you say how neat it was. The bedroom presented its same beige aura, hardly a spec of dust in place, but the one extraordinary thing about it was the light casting from the window, beckoning over the entire city. 

The second Joshua tossed your naked body on his bed, you immediately got back up, pressing your palms to the window to gaze down upon everyone through it. “You can actually see everything from up here! Wow.”

You heard Joshua chuckle behind you with his footsteps towards you to follow. “You like it, Angel?”

“It’s beautiful.” The glint in your eyes sparkled brighter than any star above you. “I’ve lived here almost my whole life and I’ve never seen it like this. I can even see my house from here! That's crazy.”

Joshua let out an indistinguishable scoff, immediately covering his mouth before coming behind you, his hand settling on your hips. “I got lucky with the lease. Best I’ve ever seen. I never thought to appreciate this view, but now I have a reason to.” 

His kiss bloomed a familiar warmth across your face, and you leaned into his embrace, taking his arms around you as you shared the impeccable view. The city lights illuminated the streets, their people, their livelihood, and you never would’ve imagined seeing it if you hadn’t found Joshua’s address. 

You belonged here somehow, as if it was meant for you. It truly did feel special. Joshua made it special.

You brushed your backside to his groin, feeling something already prod your side and you swore you felt yourself purr. Bodies still connected, you leaned into the glass, knee digging into the cushions of the window nook. Joshua followed after you knowingly, hand pawing your thigh as his lips drew to your ear, nipping at the tips. 

Your moan, deliciously loud, was all the signal Joshua needed to keep going. He mouthed against your neck, one hand crawling over your chest and another reclaiming your sensitive heat. You doubled over slightly, palming and smearing your fingerprints into the flawlessly clear glass, its chill not disrupting the heat festering your body in the slightest. 

Joshua had your body thrum in reaction to his fingers, hips wriggling to his touch, and he heightened the strokes on your already throbbing heat. “Josh, please.”

He groaned into the crook of your neck, the outline of his erect cock distinctly recognizable against your lower back. “I want to show whoever’s watching what you’ve done to me, Angel.” he slammed his fingers upright inside you before returning to his regulated pace. “Show what pretty little slut you become when you’re within reach of me.”

“Anything, Josh, anything. Anything for you to fuck me.”

He snickered, an empty darkness echoing inside the tone. “You asked for it.”

His body slammed up against you, hungrily biting along your skin as he nestled his cock between your slit as he entered. You sooner realized how fingers did his size no justice as they filled your cunt with strain. Your ass perked up behind him, not a moment longer before you were forced to adjust to his size with full thrust, holding you by your neck as his other arm cuffed you by your elbows.

“Holy shit,” you gasped, falling and bouncing back against him as his raw cock took you demandingly.

“This pussy,” he growled, his hand striking the full shape of your ass cheek where it still stung, “I’ve dreamt of this pussy.”

He buried himself in you, hitting the hilt deep with your core to the point your vision flickered back to your skull. Your legs parted wide, backing yourself against him until you were accepting every inch. “Fuck that feels so fucking good, don’t fucking stop.”

“Yeah? My slutty angel likes my cock pounding into her pretty pussy?”

“Yes, please, Josh, please give it to me. I love how you give it to me so good.”

“You beg like that,” he gritted his teeth. “I’ll have to properly deliver.”

You looked back at him and smiled, hair falling over your face and his thrusts made you a vision of lust, somehow gracefully breathtaking with his cock buried deep inside you. “You and me forever, right? Don’t stop now.”

Joshua was throbbing, practically beaming at your answer, and before you knew it, your chest was greeted with the frost-bitten window, now flattening against your breasts. Groaning upon impact, the tempered glass tensed your nipples, bringing them both to a hard point, now freezing and pebbling you from your arms to your legs. 

Joshua’s body pinned you in place, and you felt his unnerving arousal slide up and down between your cheeks and pushing back up inside you. “I’ll show just how much you’re mine to the world.” His voice was still gentle yet demanding. “Only because you asked for it.”

His flat palm struck you again, pushing up your body and letting the echoes of your collision play in surround sound. Your body, already sore from earlier, knew no rest as you took him deeper, the cold intensifying the pleasure rushing through your body. Your hips swiveled, playing with his cock like a personal toy, and you braced the window in front of you willingly, blasting on an indefinite high.

“Thinking about how someone can see you up here?” He whispered. “Taking my cock like the precious little angel you are? Or letting me fuck you like the nasty fucking slut you are?”

You gingerly nodded, hugging the glass desperately to feel him deeper inside you.“Yes—fuck—I want someone to see us. The thought gets me so wet.”

“So vocal, angel,” he tugged the back of your head, devouring your lips. “My dirty little angel.”

He held your arms behind you, pressing your whole torso against the window, and every snap of his waist had you bending more and more to his will. Every inch of his body had you flushed against him, feeling him present you to the world below like a goddamn masterpiece.

His body slammed again, shaking the glass and flickering fear into your eyes briefly before he reassured you by catching your waist in his hands. “Scared?”

“A little,” you stammered.

“I’ve got you, angel. Just enjoy it.”

And you did, endlessly as his pace picked up again, and by the number of times he’s pushed you, flipped you, rammed you against the window, you were no longer scared of falling through. The fragility of the glass was no longer of concern. You had Joshua to distract you from the life-threatening circumstances with every inch of his being.  You had Joshua to protect you from the infinite possibilities of something were to go wrong with the window in front of you shattering. You had Joshua to feel safe no matter how scared and unsure you were. You had Joshua.

Joshua. Joshua. Joshua.

“Joshua, you’re gonna make me cum,” you mewled in his lap. Your ass took its turn to be displayed as your flesh pressed against the thick glass, bouncing on his cock that stiffened up to no bounds inside you.

“Are you? Your pretty pussy is gonna come all over my cock?” His voice now rushed, heightened, signaling how ready he was to burst like fucking dam.

Your nod carried urgency, your hands clasping against his face in desperate pleas, admiring that face you’ve grown fond of, how you could see both light and darkness in them, filling you to the brim with an inexplicable euphoria that you craved with everybody you’ve ever encountered. “I want it. I want to come all over your cock and feel you come inside me too…Make me feel so good so full.”

“Yeah,” he moaned, hand threading through your hair tightly, you hummed in confirmation, bouncing harder as you dared take him by his full length. “This the best cock you ever had? The best one to put my hot cum inside you.”

“Yes,” you gasped. “No one else…no one else can fuck me like you like this. I want you to fill me with all your hot cum.”

“S-shit,” he cried, tugging your back by the wrists, and fucking up into you, the window behind you christened with your sweat and slick arousal.

He ached to cover all his bases, pounding you to malleable dough, he filled your walls with his oozing determination, and his screams of release followed when he shot his promise inside you. His hips faltered in deep, thorough pumps, claiming your body in his hands with intense anguish as he inhaled your skin in his tight, unwavering embrace.

You felt the warmth inside and out of you, like a rapid stream of water—only more viscous and rewarding as your hips bucked, twitching in Joshua’s locking hold, hardly breathing with the way he held you. You wrapped around him just as tight, letting go of him the last thing on your mind and savoring the trembling descent of your peaks.

There are then only sounds of your exchanged breathing, slowly coming down to Earth. 

He lowered his forearms, bracing you from your lower back, and carefully lifted you from the nook to carefully lay you against his bed that felt like heaven enveloping your body. He crawled on top of you still, descending lingering kisses all along your body before his lips reached your tired heat, not even thinking of pleasuring you but doing it anyway as he lapped up the final remnants of tonight’s events.

His hums were pleasant vibration, wordlessly tasting every ounce of cum—yours or his, it didn’t matter—and swallowing it like a full meal, gently caressing your swollen clit. He couldn’t have enough of you, letting the brain fog control him until you started screaming in pleasure again.

You had to pull him by threads of his hair to stop, overstimulated by his unwavering hunger, and for a second that darkness was back in his eyes the deepest you had ever seen until they softened in concern, his grip loosening. “You okay?” he wafted in with concern.

“Yeah, it felt good, I just…you’re gonna kill me,” you lightly joked.

He softly laughed, leveraging him up and facing chest to chest with you, devouring your lips with that lingering tang of dominance still on his tongue. “Never…” he whispered with a smile, before he inhaled you for a moment longer, swallowing your moans, caressing your body.

He finally found his self-restraint and let you rest, offering to run a warm bath in the hallway bathroom. You turned to him, taking his hand in gratitude. “That would be really nice.”

“I’ll start one up for you.” 

As he leaves, you sink into the bed, reveling in the sheets worn from your presence, and hear the water run in another room, smelling of the clean seat of soap, and nothing has ever felt so right.

“I’ll carry you,” he stated before picking you up from your neck and back to your knees into the bathroom that was another vision of perfection, lit candles marking your path. 

You gushed in disbelief, your body finally dipping to the perfect temperature as you were surrounded with rose petals and bubbles. Almost as if he planned this. Like he knew what to do and how to exactly do it.

“How is it?” He asked, hospitality being of second nature. “Warm enough? Water deep enough?”

You gripped the edge of the tub to gaze back at him, bent down to meet your level with a soft, adoring smile as the water splashed against you soothed your aching body. “Who are you, Joshua Hong?”

He snickered, kissing the top of your head without answer. “I’m gonna let you be on your own for a moment, to really give your rest and after I clean up outside, maybe I’ll join you. Just…don’t go anywhere.”

You nodded, initiating a chaste kiss on his lips. “I won't.”

“Good girl.” His smile had never gotten so big, kissing you back with double the force before he got up to leave.

“Leave the door open,” you requested, “just in case you wanted…a nice image welcoming you back.”

“Alright,” he said, eyes lingering on your state before finally taking his leave.

Joshua had his fun in the sun, clinging to every second of this perfect night, but he needed to clean up one more thing before it could truly end perfectly. The kitchen, if you could see it, was clean and pristine as the rest of the house goddamn near was until you helped him wreck it, except one thing just of place.

He glanced at the hunting knife in the sink, carelessly rinsed after he didn’t think he had time to properly clean in your company. “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, realizing how long the metal had soaked in the water. He reached into the cabinet for cleaning supplies, his mind racing.

Dousing a rag with isopropyl, he carefully wiped every surface, hoping no streaks were left on the metal, almost failing to notice the blood ironically staining the stainless steel of his sink, to which he scrubbed and scrubbed with conviction. He couldn’t help but be grateful for your lack of awareness, the thought of entering your kitchen not crossing your mind a moment this entire visit. It’s why he loved you. You didn’t ask unnecessary questions. You kept to yourself for the most part despite your rendevous. And you weren’t trouble. he couldn’t wait to return to you. His perfectly oblivious angel.

Meanwhile, you soaked in the water, smelling its essential oil and lathering up the bubbles on your body. In the corner of your eye, a door catches your attention, having not noticed it since entering the apartment. The only door with a keypadlock that seemed to require a code, protecting whatever’s inside or keeping whoever unwanted out. Your thoughts lingered for a moment, wondering what he wanted to keep hidden from plain sight. Hobbies? Priceless items? Murder weapons? Your mind spiraled through every possibility, leaving an itch you couldn’t quite reach to scratch.

But before another second passes, you’re reunited with the man who’s been consuming your thoughts, a smile of relief returning to your face.

“Hi, everything good down there?” You gazed back up at him.

“Yeah, sorry I took so long,” he sighed, the weight on his shoulders palpable until the tension eased away as he slid into the tub beside you.

You moved closer, collapsing into his chest and nuzzling against him, the warmth of his embrace far better than any hot bath. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

His hand gently stroked the back of your head, smoothing the damp tendrils on your shoulders as he glanced down at you, then at the mirror reflecting your intertwined bodies. The image before him was a vision of what the rest of his life would look like. As he correctly foretold. As he meticulously planned. Everything falling into place.

“Me too.”

Your eyes still flickered toward the door with the keypad, curiosity gnawing at you, but you pushed it aside. Whatever was hidden behind that door no longer mattered. Joshua was all that mattered now. You were irrevocably his, as he was irrevocably yours. 

Whatever secrets he had, he could keep them.

[ennabear]

i beg of you to write more mean abby.. i reread all of ur mean abby works religiously i swear i just love her too much ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

ʕ≧ᴥ≦ʔ NONNIEEEEE STOP THIS JS TOO SWEET!!!! IM BLUSHING IM BLUSHING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!! sorry this is a lil bit messy, i haven’t really had time to lock in on anything official I HOPE THATS OKAY!!!! here are some thoughts… 18+

i think mean!abby is one of those people who are discreetly rich. she’s not the type of person to go on big fancy vacations, or buy expensive sports cars, or to always have the newest technology. before she met you, she probably spent most of her money on books or expensive brands of tea imported from countries she’s never even heard of. after she met you, though? she’d swipe her card a million times a day to see you smile.

the best way i can describe her personality is like some old cranky grandpa, the scary guy on the block who never smiles but is very confrontational. if you’ve seen her around, you’d know that she’s always wearing a scowl, only leaves her penthouse apartment early to go to the gym, and has beef with most of her neighbors. but if you know know her? she’s a sweetie pie. she loves spontaneous sweet treats, slow dancing to 70’s music, old horror films (mean!abby letterboxd goes CRAZY i just know), and most shockingly, her cats.

and she LOVES those fuckers. it’s so perfect how she can have a companion who’s quiet and small and independent, and two of them? barely any responsibility. they have an automatic feeder, entertain each other, and only bug her about once a day for attention.

as for her job, i could see her having two possibilities. one being an extreme workaholic. maybe an office job or a surgeon or something?? (NOT a nurse because they’re supposed to be good at talking to people…) OR she only really works part time, some freelance job that doesn’t really have any rules. a photographer or a tattoo artist or some sort of small business that she can mostly manage on her own. money has never been an issue for her, coming from a family of doctors. her ass was spoiled rotten as a kid, and after her dad died she inherited all of that money.

she’s the biggest protector in the world. someone was talking shit about you? she’s breaking their nose right now actually. i think the biggest reason she’s “mean” is because she actually just has anxiety. the last time she felt a love this strong, it was for her dad. she can’t afford to lose you like she lost him, so she always has to make sure you’re safe and sound. it’s not like she’s trying to be controlling by texting you every half hour, she just worries that maybe she won’t be able to protect you for once, and it’ll be at the worst possible time.

ok lock in here are some nsfw thoughts :3

you know that trope that’s like “big mean stoic character is actually the subbiest bottomest little puppy in the whole world.” yeah…. if you don’t agree what are you still doing here.

it definitely took her a while to be this vulnerable, but jesus christ is it worth it!!! the way you get to watch her squirm and whimper underneath you, knowing that you’re the only one who can make her feel this way. to give your big protective guard dog girlfriend a night off, to take care of her in return for all that she does for you.

and she lovessss being tied up!!!! something about the intimacy of knowing you’re gonna give her a good time makes her submit to you almost instantly. she has to trust you on this, has sit back and relax and let her brain melt because she physically can’t do anything about it.

when she does dom i imagine she’s a pretty big brat tamer. c’mon, not everyone has the luxury of having a girlfriend like her. if you don’t act grateful she’ll whip you in to shape. literally. she’s not afraid of a good spanking.

also she’s strapped up 24/7 but this is canon in every universe… no matter what she’s doing or where she’s going or who she’s gonna meet, the strap stays ON!!! just in case she may need it….

but she’s the aftercare QUEEN. of course. apart from the basics like food, water, cuddles, etc. she has tonssss of knowledge on proper aftercare. you’d never have to worry about being hurt or getting a uti or feeling unloved because she’s read every forum to exist about aftercare!!! i just know this bitch runs a tumblr kink blog like it’s the military… 🤦

that’s all…. going to eep now……

[fos-tis-zois]

Wow I really loved your latest work and I think most of us can relate to being led on by someone only to be abandoned later😭Sucks but hey I'd gladly go through it of I get to have such adorable guys fix me up smh. On that note, thank you for adding Nanami his one was so cute too! If you ever get the time could you also add the others? Like Megumi, Yuuta, Yuuji and Geto? All of them or the ones you prefer! I think it'll be really cute with them too

jjk smau - y/n having your heart broken after being led on and your bff!jjk partner console you

spoiler: they like you

part i (w/ gojo, choso, nanami)

♡ incl: shoko, megumi, yuuji, yuuta

♡ an: hiiii anon, thank you so much im glad u liked my work enough to want a part ii and i really hope u like it. on this note, i would like to bring up that your reblogs would be mad appreciated. for those who dont know the only thing which matters for a blog on tumble is reblogs (even i found this out very recently) and my part i to this post only has 8 reblogs :( i am very grateful for all the readers always and i know im doing this mostly so i can keep being creative but a writer posting stuff is thinking of how it will be perceived and accepted by their readers and your reblogs are very validating so if u like my (or anyone's) work here please reblogg!! and requests are open, like alwasy darlingsss 🫶🏼🫶🏼 i am open to writing one shots too! hope u like this one

comments, reblogs, and feedback always welcome ^.^

banner by @thecutestgrotto ; art by @equaly and @f4rm

[actiniumwrites]

knots

synopsis: lyney has been head over heels in love with you since the two of you were only ten years old. the only problem? you're friends with lynette and not him. so he spends the next 8-9 years pining over you with seemingly unrequited feelings

characters: lyney x gn!reader

wc: 2.1k

warnings: angst to fluff, misunderstandings, happy ending, best friend's brother trope, an insane amount of obliviousness and pining, idiots to lovers pretty much, the ending is kinda rushed

disclaimer: i know character ages in genshin are a rather controversial topic of discourse within the community. i personally think of lyney and lynette to be around 18-19 years old and i do mention age in this fic as it follows a bit of a timeline. if this somehow bothers you, please just don't read or try to start an argument over it in my comments

notes: THIS IS SO CUTE IM SOBBING 🤧 i did throw in a lot of angst though i'm so sorry but i saw the opportunity and took it. the end is fluffy (and kind of rushed sorry) though‼️ the title is also inspired by lacy by olivia rodrigo as i think it's very fitting for this fic. thank you for the request! (this is my third time posting this cause the first time it didn't show up in the tags)

Lyney was jealous as a kid. It was hard not for him to be when him and Lynette were first introduced to you and you had barely even acknowledged him. He was only ten at the time, but he was so excited to make new friends outside of the House of the Hearth that he was stunned when you had only really talked to Lynette. You had only ever offered him a small wave and a smile to go along with it before running off with Lynette.

It wasn’t fair in his eyes. He was the one more interested in you anyway, not her. She had merely tagged along because he forced her too. Now here she was stealing his potential friends.

You’d clicked instantly with her. Both of you were more on the quiet and shy side, contrasting Lyney’s sunny and outgoing personality. You both liked the same foods, the same clothing, the same everything. Lyney wanted to share those with you too, but it was hard when his tastes differed from yours and you didn’t seem to pay much interest in him anyway.

And growing up, he’d always been around. You’d hang out with all of them, don’t get it twisted. It wasn’t like you’d ever told him he couldn’t spend time with you guys. In fact, you often spent a lot of time together. You were sweet. You loved helping them with their magic tricks, even though they normally failed since you were all thirteen by the time they really began taking it seriously. You’d pretend to be shocked when they guessed your card, despite knowing exactly how the trick worked. You’d be on standby when they performed more dangerous tricks. Hell, you were even an assistant for them nearly eighty-percent of the time.

Lyney was grateful for it all, but he still couldn’t shake the ever growing crush on you he’d developed three years ago when you first met. He wanted you to be closer with him more than his sister. It was selfish, he was well aware of that, but he was the one with a crush. Not Lynette.

Lyney was the one to pick you up and put a bandaid on your knees when you fell at the playground. Lyney was the one to always share his snacks with you, even when you usually said no. Lyney was the one to always sit next to you when you were feeling a little down and let his knee rest quietly against yours, hoping you wouldn’t pull yours away. Lyney was the one who was in love with you by the time you all turned 18.

When the fateful performance happened and they were revealed to be Fatui to the general public, he was sure you’d leave them for good. You had obviously known they were Fatui, but you didn’t know of the extent to which they acted, the crimes they had committed. In your eyes, they were only in training, because that was all they had told you. As close as you were to them, they could never let you know the full details. It was against the rules.

Lyney was so sure you’d up and leave that it was the second time he had ever truly felt anxiety in his life — his sister being taken was the first, but here you were making him feel that horrible pounding in his chest all over again. He was so sure that the ache in his chest would have to make room for more than just jealousy, but grief among heartbreak. That you’d look at them in fear and never speak to them ever again. That he’d never get to profess his love to you.

You proved him wrong, and rather unexpectedly so. You’d shown up to every second of their trial and helped the traveler out as best you could to exonerate them. You’d stuck by their side through it all and made sure they were alright. He was so surprised you almost made him cry.

When they were freed from it all and the crisis was solved, you’d only hugged Lynette and Freminet. That was the part that stung the most. But at this age, Lyney was too nervous around you. How could he not be? You were so pretty and sweet and kind that he didn’t know what to do, especially when he was confused as to where he stood with you. You were all of those things and more with everyone. Everyone but him.

So he pulls away.

He doesn’t want to. God, he’s so in love with you he doesn’t want to ever spend a second away from you, but you never reciprocate any of it. So perhaps, he decides one day, it’d be best to just move on and focus on other things. Lynette could have you to herself and he’d find someone else, no matter how much he wanted you the most.

And you hate it, because well, you’re confused. Which sounds unfair, and in some ways it is, but Lyney was a special light in your life that you couldn’t get too close to. Not because you didn’t want to. No. Of course not. He didn’t realize that you were too scared to. You were so different that you shied away from him, despite feeling all the same toward him. He was like the sun and if you got too close to him, you were scared he’d burn you.

Lynette pushed you toward him regularly. You never seemed to escape her late night gossip sessions where she told you all about how her brother was practically drooling over how good you looked or how sweet you were. You found it endearing while she found it disgusting. Despite it all, though, you had confided in her about your crush on him as well, but how terrified you were to try to actually approach him. She almost slapped you right then and there.

Lynette thinks you’re both stupid. And she’s right. Because now you’re both stuck in a huge misunderstanding. Lyney thinks you hate him and you think he hates you. Could anyone really blame her for being so annoyed?

“You need to talk to him,” she finally breaks one day, about to pass out in her chair from her social energy running out just from hearing about the entire situation nonstop for the past week. You stare at her mortified as she gives you an unimpressed stare.

You nearly choke on the drink you were sipping on just a moment ago, catching a few passerby’s attention as you do, “Why do I have to be the one to say something?! He’s the one that started avoiding me!”

“Are you dense?”

“No?”

She stares at you for a long minute and sighs.

“You’re both idiots. He likes you. You like him. You were too shy to say anything and now he’s decided to move on,” she explains, unimpressed. Did you really not see it after all these years?

“Move on? What?” you place your hands on the table in front of you, panic swimming in your eyes. It all hits you so fast you feel your heart practically about to burst out of your chest.

“I have to go, sorry!” you jump out of your chair, yelling a string of apologies from behind you as you run from the cafe.

It takes you an hour to find him after your conversation with Lynette ends abruptly. Freminet was nice enough to let you know Lyney had gone down to the outskirts of the main city to work on some magic tools by the beach. It was just an excuse to get away. All three of you knew it, but Lyney wasn’t the type to say how he truly feels in fear of being a bad leader.

You wished he had said something sooner. Though perhaps you should’ve been the one to take notice long ago that his advances were more than just friendly.

You suddenly feel regret build up in your stomach at the way you treated him all these years. You were so afraid of your feelings you sabotaged yourself in the process and unknowingly hurt him too.

You find him sitting in the sand, legs crossed as he quietly fiddles with a few parts for some magic props.

“Mind if I sit?” you practically whisper from beside him. Lyney doesn’t even look at you. It’s cold and and unlike him and must be exactly how you looked all these years. He nods anyway.

You watch the waves crash in front of you. Over and over again as they grow closer with the deepening hours of the night. The stars reflect gently upon each and every one of them yet you can’t get yourself to focus on them.

You fidget with a small flower in your hands. It was tucked away gently in your pocket, the petals sticking out to prevent it from getting crushed. It’s a vibrant pink and even with its petals closed for the night, it still looks beautiful in your hand. It reminds you of all the times Lyney had dropped the very same ones at your doorstep or somehow tucked away on a piece of your clothing without you noticing. You hadn’t bothered to look into the meaning back then. You never knew rainbow roses were a declaration of love.

Lyney still sits quietly next to you, now messing with the hat he had taken off when you arrived. His lavender eyes avoid yours, but you don’t hesitate to drop the flower gently into his hands.

“I never knew the meaning of these,” you turn to him and say softly. Your eyes match your voice and he knows you’re telling the truth, even if he doesn’t want to believe it. When he doesn’t move to touch it, nor get rid of it, you speak again, “It’s uh…it’s for you. I picked it on the way here. I thought you’d maybe like it.”

He finally picks it up and turns toward you, a mixture of emotions pooling in his eyes. You see the anger, the fear, the pain, and the love all at once. You wish you had seen it all sooner.

“Why are you giving this to me?” Lyney asks quietly. It comes off a little colder than he’d like, you see it in the way he winces after. You only stare at him with a sad, but hopeful look in your eyes. You couldn’t take back the past, but perhaps you could change the future.

Quietly, you take it from him and tuck it above his ear. He’d done the same to you one time, only it was part of a show and you thought it was just for the act. Oh how oblivious you were back then. “You know what it means to give someone one of these. Lyney, I…I never meant to push you away all these years. I was just scared because I liked you, and Lynette was easier to get closer to than face my feelings for you. Even if we were just ten years old. It was immature and for that, I’m sorry.”

It’s quiet for a moment before his face brightens a bit, “Do you really mean it? You’ve really liked me all these years? Or are you just saying all this to make me feel better?”

You nod, confirming your words and he breaks out into laughter. A sound you’ve dearly missed. Sadness doesn’t suit Lyney.

“Can I…?” He says scooting closer to you, eyes glancing in between yours before falling to your lips. You nod, a small laugh escaping you as you lean in to meet him half way.

Lyney’s lips are soft against yours as he kisses you eagerly. You reciprocate the feeling, matching his pace until you both pull apart out of breath. You laugh nervously standing up and extending a hand, “Wanna go home?”

Lyney jumps up, his hand in yours and nods. He interlaces his fingers with yours tightly, not letting you go after all these missed out years.

When you return to the House of the Hearth, Lyney turns and places one last kiss to your lips. It’s short and sweet and lets you know that he’ll definitely be seeing you tomorrow. You turn and walk away after, wishing him a goodnight as you do. But before you can walk away completely and turns and shouts, “7 PM tomorrow at the Hotel Debourd! I’ll pick you up!”

Lynette appears behind him suddenly, rolling her eyes and waving to you before shutting the door on her twin, “You’re hopeless, brother.”

[pressureplus]

HEYA HELLO HI

first, i want to genuinely thank you guys for the account's existence and your hard work. reading through the posts is often the highlight of my bleak days, and im immensely grateful for you providing those moments of joy :]

SECOND UH ID LIKE TO ORDER A SPECIFIC KINDA HEADCANONS LIST IF NO ONE MINDS AND IT HASN'T BEEN WRITTEN ALREADY ALRIGHT YEAH

a nonbinary reader who is pretty similar to Seb's stubborn, independent and sassy persona but WOMP WOMP, they're suddenly head over heels for him. NEITHER WANTS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE FEELINGS (aka "HE'S FUCKING MARRIED, IT'S NOT MUTUAL AND IM BUSY WITH NOT DYING, BUT I CANT GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD" & "I HAVE A WIFE AND THEY'RE JUST SOME EXPENDABLE BASTARD, GET OVER IT, SOLACE"). the distracting, unnecessary, painful pining. how do both cope and who's gonna break first? and most importantly, is either gonna throw their ego and rationality out the window to confess despite the fear of looking pathetic?

oooof i hope it's not too much and it's not breaking any rules. thank you in advance if you find it interesting enough for writing! :D

Awww, thanks so much! Although I should make it very clear the wife in question will remain vague and is NOT BASED ON ANYONE! Thanks for the request ❤️

♡Married! Sebastian Solace x NB! Similar! Reader Headcannons♡

Warnings: Sebastian is Married and Y/N is technically an Affair Partner

◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟

He had found you interesting from the moment you opened your mouth and got sassy with him, mostly because most people don't have the balls to do it

Despite finding this slightly irritating, he also found it refreshing, so he didn't immediately shoot you if only for his own entertainment

A terrible mistake he'd soon find out

He developed some definitely unhealthy feelings the first time one of your comebacks had an almost flirtatious undertone

It was an accident on your part, but it got him thinking

He was a married man fawning quietly over you, how awful is that?

I mean of course he’s flashed the wedding band, and of course he's mentioned his wife when others flirt with him, but that doesn't change his feelings

If you flirted with him, would he really reject you?

Could he?

He hadn't known the touch of his wife in years, the softness of her hands, the warmth of her kisses

After everything that's happened he couldn't even remember her name. He should be able to remember his wifes name right?

Does he really even care about her? Does he love her now? Did he love her then?

It comes with an odd sense of guilt he doesn't like to look at. Especially when you do something that makes his heart flutter.

You, on the other hand, probably didn't develop any real feelings until he actually saved your ass.

You'd been running for your life and he’d snatched you up and into the vents, tossing you easily into his shop and shutting it behind you

His gaze transfixed on said vent, a hand on his gun. Something about him choosing to save your life while also putting up with your attitude was a little attractive…

Okay, insanely attractive

Sure, Sebastian’s guilt for being attracted to you is bad, but so is yours

You’re attracted to a married man who has absolutely gushed about his wife in front of you before. Even if it was only because someone tried to get a little flirty, what does that matter?

Honestly the mutual attraction makes it hard for you both to focus

Everything about that man is intoxicating, his smile, his laugh, his attitude. Can you really be judged for this?

Neither of you can focus on anything but each other whenever you’re both in a room.

It’s led to Sebastian getting surprised whenever another person buys something off him because he had no idea anyone else was in here

Its also led to you freaking out whenever one of the other expendable touches your shoulder without you having realized anyone was standing behind you

You hide it well…at least you hope you do?

The longing glances and quiet staring on both sides is unbearable though

Especially considering you’re both making those dolly eyes at each other, batting lashes and daydreaming

It’s cute but it’s also incredibly wrong of you two and you’re painfully aware of it

No amount of sharing food and acting like it’s not a date will make it less of a date

He’s already long since decided that he’s going to offer you come with him so you both can leave together

And though neither of you will have the heart to confess for quite a while, I think he’d do it on your way out. Something about you almost dying when you both escape makes him desperate to tell you how he really feels

When that ‘I think I’m in love with you’ slips out while he’s bandaging your arm that’s been cut by glass, how can you refuse?

Especially when you’re in love with him too?

He’ll toss that ring into the ocean once you reach the surface, his wife never loved him like you did anyway

[blublublujk]

bound 2 (falling in love)

oneshot

word count: 6.5k

genre: fwb to lovers

pairing: yoongi x reader

summary:

You and Yoongi were okay with being friends with benefits... until you weren't.

warnings: i tried to focus on fluff (did you catch it or did i fail), explicit sexual content; unprotected sex (they make love to each other), choking and breath play (hello it's yoongi), multiple orgasms, slight overstimulation, crying (is it really my ff if there's no crying involved), creampie, very cute aftercare and i think that’s all, this is more sweet than anything lol

a.n: believe it or not this wasn't apart of my drafts i wrote this all one night because i couldn't sleep so thank my insomnia for this, it was about time i write about yoongi :D

also i noticed a lot of you are reading it was destiny and love always wins and i wish you guys wouldn't only because i plan to rewrite some of it and continue them at a further time (chaptered ffs are so hard for me rn since i don't have all the time in the world to dedicate myself to them but i promise to be back with those two series) thank you for everyone who takes time to read what i write it really means so much and your comments have been so motivating. thank you so fucking much for 2k notes on good girl, gone bad i havent seen numbers like that ever im so so grateful, thank you from the bottom of my heart. i'll try to be back one or two more times this month and happy late birthday to me hehe <3

—> m.list

—> welcome me on ao3 & twt

—-

It happened again.

Another failed date to add to the sad list of people that simply will never workout for you.

The list was growing longer as months passed. When you started this list, it was barely the start of a very hot summer. Probably the hottest it’s been in years, one can only assume the winter will not be any easier. 

And you were right. Winter was only beginning and it was brutally cold. The streets were moist from the previous night of harsh rainfall. 

What better time to date and settle down than now. When the world gives you rain, settle for the warm arms of a lover.

Unfortunately, you made a grave mistake thinking this would come easy. Ten first dates later and you are still very single and loverless. 

It is not easy to go out during a time like now, suffering at the sight of happy couples and their stupid happy lives. Really, it should disgust you. It used to. The whole concept of devoting your entire life to someone. The need to constantly feel the tender touch of another person. The desire to fall in love and do it all over again, you get it now. At least, you think you do. 

“I don’t think this is gonna work.” The words fall from your mouth in a quiet rush. The man across you sits in silence before he smiles in his loss. 

“Don’t worry, I figured. It seems your mind was elsewhere. I know you don’t want to pursue anything romantically, and that’s fine with me, but is everything okay?” 

Is everything okay? Well currently, yeah you’re okay. As for your heart, it’s heavy and strangely, you feel there’s a hole in your chest and it needs to be filled. That would fix things, you think. You have been single for so long that you forgot what it was like to love and cherish someone. Not that you have ever truly loved or cherished anyone, but you’ve gotten close. If a silly relationship you had in your sophomore year of high school counts. Then yes, you’ve totally been in love. 

“I’m okay. Thanks for asking. I didn’t mean to lead you on, if it ever felt like I did.” The apology seems bitter in your mouth. Another failed fucking attempt. How difficult can dating be? Have you really been this disconnected with the world around you? 

“Don’t stress it! Things happen. I hope you can find what you’re looking for. See you… around?” The man’s understanding response makes you feel worse. Maybe you should consider deleting Tinder and finding love naturally, if that’s still a thing in the contemporary life. 

“Yeah, totally!” And like that you’re off to the next. Giving yourself plenty of time to bathe in your disappointment and miserably cry about your failed attempts at finding what you’ve been missing. Who knew dating could be so difficult?

The walk back home is just as cold as the outcome of today’s date. Your date insisted he could drive you home and if not that then pay for a cab, but you didn’t live too far from the restaurant you both met at. Though he insisted, you figured this walk could refresh you after yet another failure. You were starting to regret it as the cold wind started roughly hitting your skin. Preserving the chilly weather, you genuinely couldn’t wait to get home and wrap yourself in a bundle of warm blankets and comfortable clothes. 

Cold hands struggle to open your door, you blow on them with warm puffs of breaths, soon making your way in and getting comfortable in your humble apartment. 

yoon: you up?

And that, that is what made this harder. The fact that you knew there was someone completely capable of loving and caring for you the way you desired. You have seen it with your own eyes. Every time you ended up in his bed, in his arms, you felt it. Deep down you know something is there and that something beats everything else. Maybe you’re just delusional, but you look for him in everyone else and you hate it. Hate because you will never be anything more than his personal little whore that comes at the sound of his call. 

me: yeah

Normally, you aren’t dry over texts, especially not with him so he’ll see right through you. You’re hoping for once, he can ignore it. 

He won't. 

yoon: you ok?

me: been better

yoon: wanna talk about it?

me: no, i'm ok

yoon: ok, wanna come over? 

Yes, because during a time like this all you want is the comfort and warmth of someone else’s touch and Yoongi has never failed at giving that to you. But he is not yours.

And you are not his. 

me: not feeling well. sorry.

yoon: sick? 

A white lie never hurt anyone. 

me: yeah, throat hurts

yoon: im sorry 

me: it's not your fault maybe another time.

Though you really shouldn’t say that. There should be no next time. That way you don’t suffer any longer and drag him down with you, considering everything you’ve been feeling and dealing with lately. It’s not fair to Yoongi, but especially yourself.

He doesn’t reply anymore and you can’t even hide your disappointment. You aren’t disappointed at him, okay maybe a little bit at him, but mainly yourself and your recently found complicated feelings. 

You and Yoongi started this whole mess a year ago, before you even realized what you truly wanted. It started off with subtle flirting here and there. They say not to mess with coworkers, given that it can complicate things at work and one should never play with their main source of income, but you did it anyway. You are still young and he only made you feel younger, like a teenage girl crushing over her forbidden crush at church. It was silly, but Yoongi made it easy. 

The flirting turned to one thing, then another. 

“We shouldn’t, not here.” Yoongi had you pinned outside the club you both worked at, leaving trails of wet kisses down your throat.

“Five more minutes.” His words were muffled into your skin as his hands explored your body. Yoongi’s touch was always way too soft for his own good and you fell victim to his deadly warmth. 

“If Mr. Kim finds out, he’ll kill us and fire us both.” That was a bit dramatic on your part and you swore you felt the taller smiling against your neck.

Yoongi drops one last kiss on your cheek as his hot breath hits your ear. “Not if I kill him first.”

You gasped, pushing him off you with a quick smack to his chest. “D-Don’t even joke like that.” 

Yoongi just laughed. 

“Okay, okay baby.” The term of endearment fell from his lips too easily and you melted into the dark night. “See you after work?” 

You only nodded, not being able to deny his temporary warmth and sweet presence. Then he dropped a kiss on your lips, leaving you just as quick as when he first found you. You were fucked.

From there, it only got worse for your sake. Your heart could only take so much. 

Really, you should blame things on him. It was his fault you fell in love with him and his stupidly soft hands. It was all his fault! He left you no choice but to love the feel of his lips against your skin, to easily melt under his soft gaze, and find comfort in his unnecessarily warm bed. Yoongi was perfect. Everything you could ever want. 

That’s why it was so fucking hard. Dating was hard enough, but after feeling Yoongi’s intimate touch, you were a complete goner. Though he was far from it, Yoongi touched you like you were his and he would fuck you like a lover would. Kissing and making love to you as if you were the most beautiful woman on Earth. It was all too much. 

Fuck, you really needed to get a grip.

The knock on your door makes you jump from your couch. 

Ten minutes longer and you would have fallen asleep exactly where you were lying. In outside clothes and all. You didn’t even bother taking off the outfit you had carefully planned thinking that this lucky outfit would have finally taken you somewhere. It didn’t. 

“Coming!” There’s not a single person that should be outside your door, especially at this hour. Your feet make their way to the door regardless and the blood from your face drains when you see the person standing behind the door. 

Quickly, you unlock your front door, rushing the taller inside. “Hurry! It’s freezing! What are you doing out here?” 

Yoongi’s cheeks are surely frozen, a pink dust decorates his cheeks and the tip of his nose. It almost makes him look cute. You were far more gone than you imagined. 

He hustles inside, carrying a fairly large brown bag with him. He brought… groceries? 

“Took you long enough.” The taller one makes himself at home, laying his bag on your coffee table. 

“What are you even doing here?” You ask again. 

He ignores you. “Thought you said you were sick. You don’t look very sick?” 

Yoongi looks at you with a questioning look, his eyes wander your outfit and guilt starts eating your insides. 

You cross your arms, an attempt to hide yourself in shame, but what’s done is done. “I- I had plans.” 

“Yeah, I see that.” He simply says, standing awkwardly in your living area. 

If this doesn’t convince you to delete that forsaken app for the sake of your dignity and shameful behavior, you don’t know what will.

“Anyways, w-what brings you here?” 

“Brought you some stuff.” His hand waves over to the bag he carried inside. 

“Stuff?” You question, a bit dumbfounded, planted still in your place.

“Tea, cough drops, some soup I made earlier this week. Oh and flowers.” Yoongi doesn’t seem at all embarrassed or fazed about the situation. Not that he should be, but he speaks with a puff to his chest, as if he wanted to ensure you understood his every word and action. Like any concerned lover would be. As if he was yours and you were his.

Oh.

This was so so bad. For you and your weak heart. Fuck.

“I-“ 

He cuts you off before you even get to speak. “I don’t know if you’ll like it. It’s just some plain seaweed soup. Usually helps me when I’m sick. I’m not sure what flowers you like, or if you even like flowers. Do you? Their tulips. I did a bit of research before. My mom likes tulips. I figured you might like them too.” 

He did research? Double fuck! 

Yoongi was nervously rambling, now he was slightly embarrassed. Pink flushes his cheeks and it wasn’t the weather’s doing this time. 

“Yoongi…” You start breathlessly and in disbelief. 

“What?” He nearly stutters, his hand is shaking. He’s nervous. Who would have thought? 

“Why.” Is all you manage to ask. 

“You were sick.” Is all he replies. As if things were really that simple. What next? Would he come rushing to the hospital if you suddenly fell ill? God forbid, but it was a valid question. 

What was going on? For a second, you entertain the idea. Maybe he fell in love between the blurry lines of this complicated relationship. Were the shared intimate memories too special for him to forget too? You weren’t sure anymore, but what did this all mean? Maybe he loves you, as much as you love him.

Thoughts keep spinning and you wish there was an easier way to turn off your brain. Not now.

“I know, but why? Why all this? Why for me?” Your vulnerability is showing and it makes you feel weak. Maybe your hands are shaking too. 

“I don't understand?” Yoongi searches for the answer in your glossy eyes, he’s tempted to reach out and comfort you. Have you in his hands, but he’s too coward. He doesn’t want you to feel the shiver of his touch right now. His vulnerability peaks through as well. 

Why not you? It’s always going to be you. 

“I-I’m nothing to you.” There’s a shiver again and then you break. 

Yoongi doesn’t care anymore. He’ll consider the consequences later. Right now, none of it matters.

His hands hold your face, ready to wipe the tears that threaten to leak from your precious eyes. He hopes his hands aren't cold anymore from standing outside for so damn long, but he couldn’t stop himself, in his selfishness and all.

His hands shake slightly, trying to stay strong as he lays it all on the table. “Y/N, you’re everything to me.” He whispers, eyes never leaving yours.

You lay your own hands on his, you feel so delicate around him when you wrap warm hands around his cold wrists.

“I-I am?” You ask between sniffles. His hands are still pretty cold, but they’ll soon warm up against your soft skin. Nobody knows how desperately you need to be touched until you are and then it’s like little fireworks spark inside your body. It consumes you in the best way possible.

“Of course. I thought I made that obvious.” His eyes are soft, different to how he typically looks at you, but you’ve seen these same eyes before. They are no stranger. It’s similar to the look he gives you when you catch him staring at you while you are deep in work. He pretends to look away as if he wasn’t admiring you from afar and you pretend that you don’t notice his curious eyes. It’s the same look he has after you both end up in heated makeout sessions, behind the rusty club you both work at. And it’s definitely the same look he has while he settles on top of you, whispering sweet words of praise and promise.

Nothing should feel different but it just does, there’s something in the way he looks down at you that lets you know that everything you’ve been searching for has always been right here. Right where you’ve been all along.

The taller leans in and you freeze struggling to keep your eyes on his. Yoongi’s thumb brushes against your cheek with a soft touch. You were fragile between his hands and he’s willing to do anything to keep his precious flower safe. “Can I kiss you?” 

“Yes. Please.” You whisper back in a hurry, scared that this would be nothing but a dream. It wasn’t time for you to wake up yet.

His eyes zero-in on your lips and then he’s kissing you. It’s not much different from other times. After all, you guys have shared plenty of kisses, probably more than you should have considering you guys were friends with benefits, at most. But this time, the kiss isn’t just a careless lust-filled doing, no this time the kiss is a promise. The promise to never again allow you to question his feelings and intentions towards you. 

If Yoongi has to spend his whole life making this up to you, he simply would because that’s how much you meant to him. He can’t believe he even let this go on for this long. He should have been more clear and careful, but he doesn’t regret a damn thing. Not when he has all the time in the world to repair the time lost. And especially not when his reckless actions led him to this. To you.

Yoongi’s lips are soft and bend with yours with ease. He takes his time, never in a rush. Especially not when he has you in-hand. 

The taller doesn’t escalate the kiss. He keeps it sweet and gentle, like he always has been. “I’m so sorry baby.” 

Kiss.

“For?” 

Kiss.

Yoongi has the whole world in his hands right now as he looks down into the sparkles in your eyes and he’s never been so sure about anything in his life. “For being a fucking idiot.”

Kiss. 

“It’s okay.” A kiss is shared again. “I was an idiot too. I was just scared that you wouldn’t want that with me.” 

“Want what?” The taller questions, fingers trailing your face, admiring the imperfections and all. 

“A relationship, I mean. You seemed content with how our relationship already was. I was afraid of losing that. Of losing you.” You admit, eyes fluttering at his touch. 

“Of course, I want that. I want that and more. I-I’m not the best with relationships. I’m only saying this because I want to be open and honest with you. There’s not a second you aren’t on my mind. While at work, you are all I can see. In a crowd of a hundred, my eyes always find yours. I don’t know how to explain what you do to me. But I don’t mind. I think if I ever lost that, I would lose my mind. So I’m sorry if I ever made you feel the opposite. There’s so much more I want to say, but I just don’t know how. I want that. I want that so bad. A relationship and whatever more you give me. I might not be the best boyfriend but I’ll do whatever it takes. I- I love you.” Yoongi’s words are heartfelt and he’s so relieved. One because he’s been keeping this in for so long, any longer and he would have exploded, but second because he’s been dying to say those three words. He really does love you and Yoongi doesn’t love many people in life, but if he had to choose, it’s always gonna be you. 

The tears that were creeping on your eye-lids fall prettily down your face, but Yoongi comes to your rescue. He’s quick to wipe them off your pretty face, tempted to kiss them away, but he keeps that in for now. “Y-Yoongi… I love you too. So much. I think I always have. You are so easy to love. The way you look at me, care for me, and always show up for me. That says more about you than anything else. I tried dating to get over what I felt for you, as you can probably tell, but nothing worked. It was so easy, Yoongi. So easy to fall in love with you. You’re perfect and I don’t doubt that you’ll be the best even after all this. I love you.”

“I love you too, I love you. Fuck, I love you.” Yoongi kisses you again and this time he isn’t as gentle. His lips are still soft as ever as they curl around yours. His tongue comes out and you immediately allow access, letting him explore your mouth. The taste is much better now that there isn’t anything you both are holding back. Everything down on the line and you couldn’t be happier. The hole in your heart was never empty, it was just waiting for this exact moment to remind you that you’ve always had it all. 

“Yoongi.” In between breaths you call his name and Yoongi feels his knees lock. “Take me to bed.” 

Yoongi just nods in a trance with the way your tone drips of arousal. A long strand of hair falls on his face when he picks you up with ease off your feet. He takes you to the place he’s had the honor to visit a hundred times before, but it’s different this time, much different. 

In the process of it all, something falls and it causes you both to laugh until you run out of breath. 

“I can’t believe that just happened.” You laugh into his ear. “You owe me a new lamp. My mother bought me that, you know. House-warming gift.”

“Fuck, sorry.” Yoongi mumbles near a whisper as he grips you harder like he’s afraid he might drop you next and the idea makes you giggle because you know he would never purposely hurt you. “I’ll apologize to your mother directly. Buy you and her a new lamp, whatever it takes.”

“What makes you think you are meeting my mother?” You tease with a smile on your face, watching the blush rise on his cheeks. 

“Well, I figured we could, you know, if you would like–” Yoongi doesn’t often get shy about many things but he can’t keep calm around you and that kills him softly.

“I’m just teasing you.” You say and he bites his lip. “Of course you’ll meet my mother and my father and my nosy ass family. I hope you like annoying, persistent grandma’s that stuff you full. My grandma’s the worst of her kind, but she’ll love you.”

“I would love to.” Yoongi simply replies, still whispering as if you guys had to keep quiet or else you’d be in deep trouble. 

“Why are we still whispering?” You whisper back, roaming fingers through his long, gorgeous hair. He needs to remind you to thank his mother personally for insisting he keep his hair long because it made him look pretty and you could never disagree. Yoongi’s so pretty. 

“I-I don’t know.” 

You both smile at each other before sharing another kiss. It’s so sweet and if you weren’t already off your feet, you would be floating by now. He’s gentle when letting you drop into the sheets below, he finds space between your legs and you wrap them around his hips. Lips still in contact, never losing the plushy feel. 

Everything starts to feel hot. Your hips start to slowly grind against his begging for any sort of friction. But the kissing doesn’t stop. 

Not when you start whining against his lips. 

Not even when Yoongi starts trailing his fingers down your waist and around your curves. He teases his fingertips against your waistline, soft to the touch. 

It’s not until you mewl loudly into his mouth, skillful tongue playing with yours, as you feel him start unbuckling your pants, button-by-button. 

Yoongi’s eyes are heavy-lidded, his gaze burning fire. “Gonna take care of you now, is that okay?” 

You furiously nod, coming up to kiss him once more, both your lips are raw and sensitive, but it gives you more of a reason to fix it with even more kisses. 

He drops one quick kiss onto your mouth before he trails down your jaw. Yoongi breathes in the sweet scent on your skin, wishing he could feel you even closer. “Smell so damn good.”

His voice is raspy against your ear and it makes you blush, while you feel his hand finally touch you where you had been aching with need. “Wanna hear you.”

Breathing lightly, you whisper. “Make me.” 

And of course, Yoongi makes you regret how fast you said the words because he delves his fingers forward with little resistance. Two fingers stretch you at the same time, gasping at the sudden sensation. 

By now, you were molded to fit Yoongi’s fingers. On days where you were really in need, you would take four, all at once. Yoongi was best at reading every expression, every crease and scrunch to your face, especially emotions. He knew exactly how to curve his fingers, the way to build you up, and bring you back down. Yoongi knew it all and he was so lucky too. 

He never anticipated it would have gone this far. It was just sex to begin with. But who were you both kidding, it was always much, much more. 

Yoongi curves his fingers in the way he’s used to and watches your mouth drop, sweet noises soon leaving your lips. “Feels good?” 

There’s no need to ask because he can tell. Your expression tells him everything he needs to know. That and the fact that you are dripping around his fingers but it’s sexier hearing it from you. 

“Yeah… f-feels so good.” With his other hand he tugs your clothes off, leaving you bare on the bottom. Remembering the first few times is a bit embarrassing, but Yoongi always made sure to take his time and make you feel comfortable. It was special and memorable in its own way, and Yoongi felt it too. 

This is unlike any first time, but it was technically the first time you could officially make love to each other until you fall lovesick and that had to be impossible around someone like Yoongi. 

“Hold your legs open for me, flower.” You try to ignore the warm feeling that buzzes in your chest, but you are sure your face says it all. Without another word, you spread your legs open, tucking both hands behind your thighs.

“Flower?” You breathe out with a bit of a struggle as his two fingers continue to pump deep inside you, brushing repeatedly against your g-spot. 

“Do you not like it?” Yoongi smiles slightly, biting his bottom lip while he watches you start to tremble, making the prettiest sounds. 

“I do. Why the new name?” Voice a bit unsteady but it does the job. Yoongi thinks of all the times he thought you were as pretty as a flower, which really was all the time. Especially, in the way he has you right now. Pretty, pretty as a flower. 

“I’ve always wanted to call you that. You’re pretty, sweet, delicate. Just like a flower.” He justifies his reasoning and you melt into puddles. 

“Yoongi.” Voice sweet as honey. 

“Yes baby.” He replies with ease.

“Make love to me, Yoongi.” 

There was a time in his life where Yoongi believed he could live without love. How foolish of him to think so. When he met you, it was a complete three-sixty. Suddenly, Yoongi started to look forward to his shit job. He looked forward to that time between breaks where he could admire you from the back like a pinning loser. Yoongi even started to like the walks he had to take to get to work because he knew that the path would eventually lead to you. He started looking forward to tomorrow's and to the bright future that led ahead. His mom would often complain that he was wasting his life away waiting for it to start, but Yoongi thinks life truly started the day he met you. 

It was a bit awkward because you couldn’t even look him in the eyes, intimated by the staff and new environment. You had previously worked in different bars so you assumed it would be no different and it wasn’t, but the intimidation of a new job was there nonetheless. Yoongi was there every step of the way. He had a crush on the new employee and you needed help on fitting in. Either way, your friendship was very platonic until it wasn’t. 

Yoongi knows he should have said something along the lines “hey, maybe we shouldn't be doing this anymore. I’m in love with you and I have been since you started working here” but the stupid words never made it out. He felt it would be too much to hear and it would only make him look like a complete loser. 

And you felt the same. It was silly really, because everyone around you knew it and there was no reason to fear someone as easy going and non-judgemental as Yoongi, nonetheless it brought you both here. After many failed dating attempts, you were finally happy and in the arms of someone who you truly love and want to be loved by. 

There was a time in his life where Yoongi believed he could live without love, now Yoongi believes your precious, sweet love brought him back to life and he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. 

Clothes now discarded on the floor, heavy breathing filling the room, and Yoongi could get wasted on the smell of your intoxicating perfume. “Breathe flower.”

Yoongi felt you shiver at the sound of his words, throwing your head back as he thrusts you full of cock. He pushes inside you with gentle movements, struggling to keep himself up while feeling the tug of your warm velvet-like walls. 

You gasp feeling him hit your cervix in a calm, slow pace. It was breathtaking regardless of the gentle rhythm. “You’re so deep...”

“I know flower, breathe baby, breathe.” He is struggling to keep from coming inside you, overwhelmed by his own emotions as your eyes roll back, feeling the pressure rise in your belly. Without a condom, everything feels so different from other times, feeling every ridge and crease fold inside your drenching heat. You take him so nicely, like you always have. Like you’ve always belonged to him. 

You don’t even notice you stopped breathing until you start feeling lightheaded and desperate for fresh air. Breathing just as much as necessary so you don’t faint, you shake your head against his hold, his eyes watch yours, observing with curiosity. 

“No?”

“Mm, n-no.” You shake your head again, whimpering when you feel him kiss your cervix with his swollen tip, over and over and over. “Can– can you…”

“Can I what, pretty flower?” Yoongi rolls his hips a bit faster, feeling his orgasm build too quickly. He wishes he could have days with you like this always. Days to love and worship you from head to toe.

“Choke me.” You manage to say. “Don— don’t wanna breathe.” 

Yoongi growls deep, increasing his speed even more, desperate to fill the deepest part of your glistening folds. He feels you tense underneath, the sounds coming from your mouth are loud enough for your neighbors to hear, but Yoongi stopped giving a fuck about everything around him. 

He places a hand on your throat and squeezes gently, not blocking off your airways completely, but leaving you just enough air to work with. It drives you insane. The more you breathe, his rough thrusts take the air out from your lungs and the process repeats. It feels so good.  

“M-more. Harder.” You barely hear your own words, but Yoongi seems to understand because his dick is moving rapidly inside you, nearly splitting you in two. You wrap both hands around his wrist, loving the heavy weight against your chest. It’ll end too soon and it disappoints you in a way, but you have all the time in the world to make this up. “G-Gonna come.” 

Yoongi nods, concentrating on the way your face scrunches with pleasure. With love. The way your eyes tell him a story. God, Yoongi’s madly in love. “Come, my precious flower.” 

With those final words, you come on his bare slick cock, blossoming in the blissful afterglow. Yoongi doesn’t stop thrusting inside you, but he takes his hand off your throat, kissing your face gently when he sees tears start leaking down your cheeks. 

“It’s okay, you’re okay baby. Breathe for me. Slowly.” Yoongi’s words bring you back down and you throw your arms around him, crying against his shoulder. You don’t even know what invoked this strong emotion to sob your eyes out, but Yoongi allows it, caressing the back of your head. Yoongi doesn’t judge, he only holds you until you settle down. “It’s okay baby, let it out. Breathe, pretty flower.” 

“C-Come inside muh-me, please.” Even after all that, you still beg for him and Yoongi wants to laugh but for your sake and the fact that it’s endearing to him, he delivers accordingly without further questions. 

Right as he’s going to paint your walls white, he pushes himself up with one hand, still holding you with the other. “You sure?”

You’re confused about the sudden question, the tears still decorate your face but then you understand. “Birth control. Just come in me Yoongi, fuck me, fu-fuck.”

Yoongi doesn’t hesitate to regain his brutal pace, fucking you with purpose. Not that he doesn’t want kids in the near future, but he sure as hell doesn’t want any right now. He’s glad you are on the same page but maybe one day the conversation would spark and he wouldn’t want the mother of his kids to be anyone else but you. You were perfect for him. 

“Gonna come.” That’s the only warning you get, then he’s emptying himself inside your tight walls. He doesn’t stop rolling his hips, his slit leaking puddles, until he’s pumped himself dry. With one last thrust, he groans and carefully pulls out. 

He brings you with him, head falling against his chest as he continues to play with your hair, leaving kisses into your bare shoulders. “You okay baby?”

“Perfect. Feel so good.” You mumble into his skin, feeling around his waist. “I’m leaking your come into the sheets though.”

“I’ll take care of it, pretty flower.” You nod sleepily into his chest with a quiet ‘thank you’, feeling completely sated and satisfied, aching with exhaustion. “Sleep baby, I got you.”

With that, you fall deep into the shackles of sleep. Yoongi rubs your back until you completely fall asleep in his arms. He struggles to unwrap himself from your hold, but when he finally succeeds, he tucks you in and kisses your cheek a few times before getting up to clean up after the mess you both created. 

He’s light on his feet, bringing a warm towel to your slick folds and wipes as best he can, being gentle so you could continue to enjoy your sleep. Even like this, you look so beautiful and Yoongi is an extremely lucky man. 

Yoongi makes sure to also pick up the lamp he dropped from earlier as well. He blows out a breath of relief when he notices that the damage is nothing big and nothing that can’t be fixed. He’ll make sure to fix that as soon as he can. 

While he’s out there, Yoongi places the tulips into a vase and fills it with water, placing it near a window where it could grow and blossom beautifully near the sunlight. He even cuts the tips into slants because he had heard somewhere online they last longer that way, making sure to get rid of any dead leaves and petals. Yoongi couldn’t be happier.

After he’s done with the light cleaning, he washes his hands and feels the exhaustion hit him tenfold. He’s careful when placing himself back in bed, lifting your arm and placing himself underneath you. The man smiles when he feels you curl yourself around him, sleeping soundlessly. 

“I love you.” He whispers and even though you don’t say it back Yoongi feels it with the way you melt into his arms. Yoongi falls asleep easily that night. 

…

“Baby.” Yoongi hears someone call him and he ignores it. Sleep calls his name louder and he doesn’t feel like waking up right now so he groans and cuddles deeper into the bedsheets below him, unaware of the life around him. 

“Baby wake up.” You keep calling sweetly and it’s tempting but he persists.

“No. Don’t wanna.” Yoongi grumbles like an old man and you can’t help but to laugh. “Just ten more minutes.”

When you woke up the next morning, you were so thankful Yoongi had kept his promise. Your apartment was flawless and you were as clean as you could be. The tulips looked prettier today as the sun shined on the delicate petals. You even had time to warm the seaweed soup he brought from home and you couldn’t wait to get a taste. The smell alone is delicious and it warmed your home up nicely, you truly couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that this was no longer a dream but your reality. You could definitely get used to this. 

You drop kisses onto his warm cheeks until his eyes flutter open, almost similar to a cat. “There you are.”

Yoongi pulls you into his arms again with quiet noncoherent grumbles and closes his eyes once more. “Give me ten minutes.”

“It’s already been ten.” You whisper lightly laughing. 

“Oh. Ten more then.” You get comfortable on his chest and cuddle for a bit longer because you can’t say no to his cute sleepy self. 

Yoongi starts to sniff the air with curiosity. “Is that the seaweed soup I brought you?” 

“Mhm.” You hum. “Better get up soon before it burns.” 

That manages to be convincing enough and Yoongi forces himself up, with you in his embrace. 

“Wanna wake up like that forever.” He says, voice filled with sleep. 

“You can.” 

Yoongi snaps his heavy eyes towards you. “Are you–”

“Move in with me, Yoongi.” Yes, you skipped every step to this, but nothing was ever to code between you and Yoongi. One thing you were so sure of and that was spending the rest of your life with him. “Please.”

“I- yes, of course.” Yoongi wraps his arms around you for a tight hug, kissing your temple. “I love you. I love you and I’ll prove it to you every single day.” 

“I know, I love you too. I love you.” Those three words come out from your mouths so easily and it’s nice that you no longer have to ever hold back. The man of your dreams is in the palms of your humble home and he’s in love with you. This was better than any dream. 

“Let’s eat?” He says after some time of hugging and kisses being interchanged. 

You nod, letting him take you there. Your kitchen is filled with the cruel aroma of food and your tummy rumbles as you sit comfortably while you wait for him to serve you a bowl of the warm tasty soup. 

“I should be doing that. I’m a terrible host.” Yoongi shakes his head while smiling, the fluff of hair moving with him, then your phone dings. “Hold on, give me a second.” 

Your heart drops when you see it is a Tinder notification from a man you promised to get back to. You look over to find Yoongi serving your bowl, making his way to the table. He leans in puckering slightly and you immediately lean into the sweet sudden kiss while he places your meal in front of you. This Yoongi is new because it wasn’t often you could act domestically towards one another, however this was perfect and just what you needed. 

“Everything okay baby?” Yoongi asks while caressing your soft cheek and you immediately nod in his palm. 

“Yes, everything’s perfect.” You reply in awe. “Thank you Yoongi, for everything.”

For letting me love you and for loving me back. 

The older man just smiles and joins you for the meal. 

It turns out you didn’t need Tinder after all. 

You quickly delete the app off your phone and start to eat with the love of your life, conversation flows while you enjoy each other’s presence and fall deeper in love. 

Alike Yoongi, you couldn’t imagine it happening any other way. You were bound to fall in love, one way or another, but that man was meant to be yours as you were meant to be his.

[harksness]

Coffee Cake

A/N: ok i don't know a ton about whats going on in the show ive mostly just watched the trailers but i did hear rio is apparently gonna be agathas ex? so that's kinda what i based this around lol if i'm missing any other info thats why tho,, i dont really care for spoilers i just havent been seeking them out yk so i hope this is good!!! im nervous i missed something important but i hope yall like it aidhsjdj :')

the request!

Warnings: None I think?

WC: 3.7K

Agatha Harkness is a greedy, selfish woman who will do anything for power. You know this much about her is true. 

It’s what made you so cautious of her at first. So reluctant to agree to join her and her little band of misfit mages when she sought you out in your dingy little magic shop.

She approached you with a sly grin and praise, telling you that she could see the potential in you. How strong your magic could be and how she can help you harness it.. If you let her.

Everyone that’s remotely aware of the magical world knows about the cruel and crazy Agatha Harkness. But for you, she’s never just been a story to be gossiped about. She’s been a semi-regular customer since you inherited the shop. She’s stopped by for your services once every few months, except for that long gap recently where she was trapped, since you’re able to provide supplies and books for spells that aren’t so easily attainable.

You know she was also an avid customer of your fathers, but he wouldn’t let you around if he knew someone dangerous would be dropping by. So it wasn’t until your father passed away five years ago and you inherited the shop that you really met Agatha. Ever since, she’s been a cautious acquaintance. Someone vaguely on your radar.

You didn’t even consider the possibility of you being on her radar too.

After dwelling on her offer for a few days, reluctantly, you agreed to it. And even more reluctantly, you allowed them all to meet up in the basement of your little magic shop once in a while.

But you remained wary of the older witch. She followed up on her promise to help you grow your knowledge of magic and expand your abilities. But as the two of you spent more time together, you began to warm up to her and she started opening up to you. Her smooth sense of humor and jokes didn’t all seem like a ploy to get you to let your guard down anymore.. You could tell by her soft smiles that weren’t there before that she just enjoyed making you laugh.

And after some time, Agatha started to show a genuine curiosity in you outside of magic. Your life, interests, family, and she even went out of her way to compliment you. She had never done that before. She was putting a lot of effort into really helping you grow, and you were becoming rather grateful for her. 

Your father always pushed the importance of knowing how to supply witches properly. Knowing everything you could possibly know about herbs, potions, crystals, tarot, spells and how to attain them, but not much practice or knowledge in the way of making it all work effortlessly together by yourself. Or even much in the ways of wielding your own magic, for that matter. You’ve always wanted to know more, but your father was adamant against it. So you just settled until now.

You would have late nights spent alone amongst the dust and boxes in the basement of your shop, her hands running over yours to adjust the way you wield your magic during different spells. How close the two of you would get under the bright, fluorescent lights hanging over your head.. And how inevitably, you’d long forget about the lessons and would favor sitting and chatting about anything and everything into the early hours of the morning, perched on an uncomfortable fold out chair that makes your ass hurt but every second was worth it to be with her.

Agatha Harkness is all of those horrible things that you mentioned before. But she’s also so genuinely funny and effortlessly charming, intensely passionate and caring despite those flaws.

You were warming up to her more than you realized. You would frantically practice magic in your time apart, desperate to impress her and earn her praise. Laughing just a bit louder at her jokes and wearing your hair the way she complimented. Picking out more clothes like the ones she said look lovely on you..

You weren’t simply warming up to her. The obvious soon smacked you in the face that you were tumbling down a rabbit hole of romantic feelings for the woman. The realization came in the simplest of ways, Agatha brought you coffee from your favorite cafe down the road that you pass every day on your way to work. She remembered your favorite order and your favorite treat, a proud little smile on her face as she handed you the food. And everything about your developing feelings smacked into you like a semi truck.

Panic coursed through you. You didn’t know what to do, you couldn’t hide these feelings forever. It would become obvious eventually with the amount of time you were spending together and gosh, what then? How would you deal with the suffocating embarrassment of being turned down by her?

She’s the Agatha Harkness. One of the most infamous and influential witches in history, hundreds of years old and a historic icon.. She would never want someone like you. She’s important. She commands powerful, intense magic, goes on great adventures. Her daily life is what great legends and myths are composed of. Agatha’s leaving her mark on the world.

While you’re just here in your rundown store.. Taking orders at your shop, helping people select which crystals they need and counting your register.

You’re lucky enough to play a part in her story, even if it’s just a small one. Even if it’s just supplying her with what she needs and supporting her. Hopefully, when the legend of Agatha Harkness is told for years to come, your name can be mentioned in a brief line.

As if all of those self deprecating, existential feelings weren’t bad enough, Rio soon waltzed into your little group and things were made even more complicated.

It was impossible not to notice the tension between Agatha and Rio. the way their gazes lingered on each other.. Words exchanged that seemed flirty but you couldn’t really tell if that was the case or if you were just jealous, the constant sneaking off together and being found passionately exchanging soft words. And you just felt shoved to the side, pushed out.

No more did you and Agatha have long nights spent in the basement of your shop. You’d slink away from the group the second you got the chance and gave up trying to get Agatha’s attention. Or when you had to stick around, you’d cling to Billy or the lovely Mrs. Hart. The few moments you were able to finally get to Agatha, Rio would always conveniently swoop in and steal her attention away, so you didn’t even bother after long. You felt defeated.

But once in a while, you’d catch her bright blue eyes catching on you. Gaze lingering, features creased with conflict. Once in a while, it seemed as if Agatha was trying to work her way over to you and Rio would conveniently step in the way. Or maybe you’re just being too hopeful.

Already having felt unworthy of Agatha’s attention, you quickly accepted your fate. Rio is so much more powerful and worth Agatha’s time, it makes sense why she’d ditch you for her. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that it feels like a knife was planted in your gut, and it twists every time you see the two of them lingering together.

Eventually, you were so overwhelmed that you just needed a break. So you locked yourself in your little apartment and slept in as late as you could, just wanting to ignore your complicated feelings and problems for one day.

But then you made the mistake of deciding that a little treat would be the best way to give yourself some comfort. So, you exited your little apartment a bit after eleven in the morning, desperately craving your favorite coffee and regular breakfast treat.

Walking back home, you were happily sipping on your coffee but disappointed that your favorite breakfast was all out by the time you got there. So instead you grabbed a coffee cake, happy with it but some of your excitement was stomped out at the fact that it’s not what you were craving, but it will do. You have to eat something.

Your steps come to a sudden halt when you see Agatha a few buildings ahead of you, and you notice she’s at your apartment door. Peeking in your window and taking a step back to do her best to look into the windows of your home situated above the little store. 

You’re so surprised that you’re not able to act quickly enough to avoid her eyes inevitably falling onto you when she turns her head. The street is vacant of any other people, presumably all at their regular nine to fives instead of in the back streets of the city with little stores that aren’t needed much at this time of day.

Her stressed features relax when she sees you, and she’s immediately moving down the sidewalk towards you. The wind catches her long braid and the end of her open black coat, and she’s wearing a white button up and skinny jeans underneath. She bobs with the intensity of each step she takes towards you, and you notice a coffee and a little brown bag pinched between her fingers.

Well. Deciding that there’s no avoiding it, you begin to nervously walk towards her, eventually meeting her almost halfway.

“Where have you been!?”

Agatha exclaims, almost a shout but not quite. It takes you a bit off guard, her features stern with worry and frustration.

“I just decided to stay home today, I needed a day off..”

You speak softly, feeling yourself growing anxious under her gaze. You glance around nervously, unable to decide whether to settle your eyes on the cracked pavement beneath your feet, the large “for sale” sign hanging from a window of an abandoned store across the road, or the trash can sitting outside of the little sandwich shop to your left that closes too early in the day.

“I feel like I haven’t seen much of you lately, I’ve been worried..”

Agatha’s voice drops into something softer when she says that. Your chest tightens at her words, concern heavy in her stunning blue eyes as she regards you for a moment, silence overtaking the two of you. You want to grab her and shake her and yell at her because it’s her fault you haven’t seen each other much, but from the tenderness in her voice and her eyes you don’t have the heart to be angry right now.

“Let’s go up to my apartment and we can talk.”

You gesture back to the door she was just standing outside of. Agatha glances behind her before nodding her head, silence overtaking the two of you as you walk back towards your home. You walk by the barber shop that’s already closed for the day, it’s run by the sweetest little old man that doesn’t have much energy for it anymore, and find your front door.

You fumble with the lock for a moment before it opens and you begin leading her up the narrow, lopsided stairs of the old apartment building. She closes and locks the door behind her as she does so, and once you reach the top of the stairs, you unlock the second door and hold it open for her as she steps into your little old one bedroom apartment.

It’s nice and cheap enough to keep you happy and living comfortably. It has a sizable living room and kitchen, a big bedroom and a bathroom with a washer and dryer crammed into it. There’s no dishwasher, but air conditioning and more than enough space for you and all of your stuff so you absolutely can’t complain. Luckily enough, you do know enough magic to make doing the dishes a lot less of a task.

And with the barber shop below you being closed most of your time home, anyways, you don’t have to worry much about being disturbed or disturbing any neighbors. It’s quiet, cute, and it has everything you need. It’s decorated with everything you love, it feels so homey and comfortable and.. You.

Agatha seems to notice that right away, all of your negative feelings momentarily being forgotten and a warmth spreading throughout your chest as a soft smile spreads on her face at the sight of your little home.

She’s looking around as she sets her bag on your dining room chair, abandoning her food from the cafe on your table before she starts to look around. She looks over all the pictures on your fridge, and you can tell she’s really stopping to take them in as her smiles shift with each photo she looks over and she lets out little laughs through her nose at some of them.

Agatha looks over all of your little decor strewn about, and any pictures you have hung up on the walls as she takes a step into your living room.

“Your place is so.. You. I love it.”

She speaks softly as she approaches the little table under the window that’s overflowing with your own collection of herbs. She leans down, peering at them and smiling at the little trinkets and crystals that you have planted in the soil of the pots.

You feel your face beginning to flush red at that, everything feeling so sweet and intimate suddenly. You fidget with your coffee as she turns around and continues to poke around your apartment, a look of pure adoration on her features.

“Uh.. Why did you say you were worried about me earlier?”

You speak up suddenly, the words tumbling out of your lips as you hope to distract her from looking around further right now. This moment is too sweet, you need to put a stop to it before you have to spend the rest of your life longingly reflecting on it.

Her gaze flickers towards you. Agatha straightens up, clearing her throat as she moves to sit on your couch, perching gracefully on the edge of her seat.

“I feel like we haven’t seen as much of each other lately... I’m just.. Worried.”

You feel yourself getting gassed up at her words. She’s been pushing you out, spending quality time with Rio and she has the audacity to say that? A deep sigh escapes your lips as you set down your cup of coffee a little more firmly than you would have liked.

“Agatha.. We used to be close. I thought we’d build a really strong…”

You pause awkwardly, a frustrated huff of breath pushing past your closed lips as you try to think of the right word to explain the relationship between the two of you. Agatha quirks an eyebrow curiously at the action.

“...Bond.. But then Rio waltzes in and I’m just forgotten about. You’ve barely talked to me, that’s why you haven’t seen much of me lately. You’ve just been too busy sneaking off and flirting with your green witch."

Your eyes narrow, anger seeping into your words as you spit them at her, folding your arms over your chest and huffing angrily. Agatha stares at you for a moment.

“I like you, Agatha! Fuck! I thought we had something!”

She seems surprised when you shout those words out, silence deafening around your angry words as you gesture between the two of you, doing your best to emphasize what you’re trying to say. Your frustration is boiling over, not caring anymore about the embarrassment of your feelings getting out when she’s being so damn oblivious about how she’s treated you.

“But it’s like you’ve just forgotten all about me.”

Those words are soft and quiet, contrasting your previous ones. A smile quickly breaks out on Agatha’s face, her head tilting back as she laughs, her obnoxiously witchy cackle escaping her lips. You feel your face flush, lips pursing in anger as her laughter crescendos.

“Okay, if my feelings are so funny you can just get out!”

You’re shouting over her laughter now, anger bubbling forward as she immediately stands, smile still on her face as she crosses your apartment over to you.

“Sweetheart, I’m laughing because Rio is my ex. There’s no way in hell I’d ever get back with her. We’ve got a long, complicated history, and I’ve been trying to smooth some things out and figure out the best way to explain everything to you. I felt.. Awkward that my ex barged in on everything.. And I didn’t know what to do.”

Agatha gestures around vaguely as she explains. You feel dumbstruck, your mind numb at the information that was just dumped onto you.

“Especially when I do like you so much… Your ex barging in on everything like that can be a bit of a romance killer..”

You blink dumbly at her, shocked at her first admission of having any sort of romantic feelings for you. She sighs as she begins to walk around the table, analyzing your features for any signs of discomfort as she speaks.

“I like you. A lot. I think you’re such a pretty, sweet little thing that swooped in so unexpectedly and stole my heart in a way I’ve never experienced before..”

You feel your anger and frustration ebbing away at her words, instead your chest fills with excitement. She approaches you, cautiously reaching for your hands. You let her take them, her long, soft fingers wrapping around yours as she tilts her head downwards slightly to meet your gaze, soft smile toying on the edge of her lips.

“I haven’t had my eyes set on anyone but you for a long time. And I’m..”

You can’t help the little smile that forces its way onto your lips as she stumbles through her apology. You think how hard she’s trying is cute, especially with how sincerely she’s trying to make things right for you.

“I’m really sorry about how I dealt with everything.”

The words eventually tumble past her lips, and you squeeze her hands softly as you tilt your head up towards her.

“Thank you.. And yeah, knowing she’s your ex.. That’s pretty awkward. You don’t have to explain everything to me right away, what you’ve said is more than enough.. But.. You’re sure, I mean, about me?”

You ask nervously and she looks confused at your words.

“I mean.. I’m not something great, amazing or infamous like you are. Or Rio.. I’m just some girl who runs a store.”

You simply shrug and she stares at you dumbly for a moment before letting out a noise of disbelief.

“Sweetheart, you’re so much more than that. You have to be extraordinary to catch my eye. Trust me.. You’re something special.”

She speaks the last part softly, the most sincere and adoring gleam lighting up her already bright eyes.

“I don’t want her.”

Agatha gestures vaguely, and you know she’s talking about Rio, and you're appreciative that she’s trying to focus more on this moment being about you.

“I don’t want anyone else.. I just want you. Only you.. And I have for a while now.”

She’s smiling down at you, a soft, fond tone lining her voice that’s going to make you turn to mush any second now. You feel as if your heart is going to burst right out of its chest.

After a pause, you can’t help but lean forward and press your lips against hers, a surge of bravery washing over you at her words. You feel her smiling against your lips as she returns the kiss, her soft mouth moving against yours sweetly as she lets go of one of your hands, raising it to cup your jaw.

Your skin feels electric under her touch, and you crave more of it. Your mouth widens into a big smile, leaning further into her as your head grows fuzzy at her attention, desperately craving more of her.

Her other hand trails up your arm to hold your shoulder, digging her fingers into your skin as she holds you softly, pulling you closer to her. You’re grinning like an idiot against her lips, raising your arms to wrap around the back of her neck to pull her even closer.

She pulls away for a moment to laugh softly against your lips, the two of your eyes meeting for a moment as you smile softly at one another. Her eyes crinkle around the edges in the cutest way. Overwhelming excitement washes over you, the room tense with the giddy-ness of new love and the sweet moment. You lean in to kiss her again, but she speaks before your lips can connect with hers.

“I grabbed your favorite coffee and your favorite treat for you.. But I see you already went out and got some..”

Agatha sounds a bit disappointed that she couldn’t surprise you. But your smile widens at her words, a soft laugh escaping your lips.

“Well.. They were all out of my usual food when I got there, so if you really were able to snatch up my favorite treat I just might have to thank you.”

You wink suggestively at her, and a look of excitement crosses her features.

“Oh? And how would you do that?”

She speaks lowly, teasingly as she leans down towards you. 

“It’s your prize, I think you need to tell me what you’d want from me, hm?”

You fight the urge to giggle at the excited grin that grows on her features. Leaning down, her eyes catch on your lips before she softly brushes her nose against yours. The sweetness of the action leaves your mind spinning, dizzy off of the romantic that is Agatha Harkness.

“How about one of these, for starters..”

She’s pressing her lips against yours again. Eagerly, you meet her, pushing your lips into hers. Your arms tighten around her neck, her hands moving downwards to wrap around your waist and you feel like a lovestruck teenager at how your insides turn to mush at the action. Deciding to tease her just a bit, you pull back, just slightly enough to where you can feel the heat of her warm breath brushing against your lips.

“Do you like coffee cake?”

[taissaswifelowkey]

dreaming

bartender afab reader and anora

it’s difficult to love someone and not being the right person for the other. you’re sure that’s how ani feels or would feel about you. but how are you so sure? can you be so sure?

let’s pretend ivan doesn’t exist here 😜🔥🔥

a/n: i cannot wait anymore and anora is coming out in six days so here’s a drabble. also if you noticed, the title is named after dreaming by blondie which was used in the trailer :) (i’m sorry, im really a fan of movies and their details) proofread but there might be typos, leave feedback if you have any and enjoy reading!!

warnings: uhhh if you know what the movie is about then you know it’s about ani’s job like everyone else in her place of work but nothing is explicitly mentioned. UMMM KISSINGGG?? mentions of legal drinking, swearing, a touch sad, gay yearning but it ends on a really hopeful note, i promise! that’s it really. and self indulgence you already knowww probably an out of character anora, i haven’t seen the movie as yet but that will be corrected soon once it releases in cinemas here ‼️‼️

it starts below the cut 🤠

Loud music was blasting through the speakers. You can still hear the faint noises of laughter and chuckles, slightly distracting you as you were only looking for the laughter of one person.

You swear it’s the only thing you’re looking forward to everytime you tend the bar. Not for the additional tips offered by clients who would pretend to act all innocent and have no idea of what they’re doing. But for her jokes, her gentle smile and her laugh that always sends a strange swirl in your abdomen. For her warm touch whenever you felt like you could handle it. It’s insane how she sends you a visceral yet pleasant shiver throughout your entire body whenever she’d rest her head on your shoulder. Her floral, white musk scent would make you completely feel dizzy. You were once on the rooftop of your tiny flat when it first happened. Ani’s hands were in yours the entire time while you talked and she wouldn’t let go. Maybe the alcohol helped you ignore how much your heart struggled to regain its normal rhythm. And her fragrance didn’t really help your situation. That’s when you knew you were entirely fucked.

You fell for people before. But not for your friends. Especially not your close friends. She was the good thing you had in life among others. Losing her was not something you’d even want to imagine, the thought making you upset. Besides, thinking about different probabilities about her catching on to your crush would always circle back to the same answer. She might be straight and this will leave an awkward gap between your friendship and you won’t be as close anymore, will look back at all the interactions you had before and paint you as a creep. Or she might not be but it will still leave an awkward taint in your relationship. Either way you needed to get over this and get over it quickly.

Blinking back your thoughts as you found yourself spiralling again, you wiped the counter with a cloth, a drunk client haven spilled drinks before while having two girls wrapped around him. You were slightly grateful for your daydreams' interruption. Letting your mind roam about Ani was like a double edged sword.

As you cleaned the surface, a voice catches your attention.

“Finally, I get to have some time for you.”

Your eyebrows rose slightly and you were about to answer the person talking to you when you noticed her playful smile and her eyes.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

It’s also insane how your brain manifests its thoughts and wonderings into reality, her presence seeming to have a powerful hold on you.

“Are you okay? You look like you’re like…drunk. Are you? Look, I wouldn’t tell anyone but doing this is pretty risky. Definitely don’t do it without me next time, though.”

Get yourself together.

“It’s just one of those days where I had to stay up cramming for a test and got three hours of sleep.”

“Oh and I thought those days were over and you’d take your sleep seriously. What happened to you putting aside caffeine and focusing on a good sleep schedule?”

“Left behind me. But it worked for a week in my defence.”

You try to laugh but the highlighter near her eyes, her perfectly applied eyeliner and her lipstick makes all your cells come alive. She’s so damn pretty.

With a disapproving look, she reaches to fix your collar.

“Do I have to babysit you or something? College is already hard as it is. I don’t need you stumbling around me.”

You already do that.

“I wouldn’t mind having an overseer.”

With a wink, you take care of an order for a client approaching the bar, missing her slight chuckle at your tease. It’s a good thing she’s not a mind reader, your brain overplaying the sentence“why the fuck would you that out loud?”

The customer follows her gaze over you but doesn’t pay any mind, sidling over to her.

“Hey…I have enough for two drinks. Or three, if you’d like.”

You visibly hurl at the sight. That was worse than what you said.

Taking a deep breath and focusing on cleaning an already clean glass, you keep a subtle glance on him. His aftershave wafts in the air and leaves an unpleasant overwhelming scent.

You hate how he looks clean, fresh. The way he has a perfect jawline. How his smooth, deep voice, almost makes you wish you could have the same traits as him.

This was getting ridiculous. You’re getting ridiculous.

Throwing the towel over your shoulder, you sigh at the relief of having customers flood the counter. A bachelor’s party. You just go on autopilot, listen to their orders and ignore their vague offensive teenage boy adjacent behaviour.

Ani’s focused on the charming man. At least, she was trying too. Sure, he was funny and looked like a formula one pilot…but was also incredibly bland. For the past thirty minutes it’s been him, him, him. She knows his name but he has no idea about hers, he didn’t even ask any questions.

While he goaded about having a mansion in The Hamptons or who knows where, she trailed back her eyes to you. You felt different. Your overall senses felt different. She didn’t felt the calm radiating energy balancing her bright one anymore. And she wasn’t joking when she asked you if you were off. For the past few weeks you looked downright exhausted. She believes that it’s because of your midterms, but she knows there’s something more to it. You have this sort of signal whenever you’d close yourself off from people. You’d get really silent, almost out of space. Then you would twist the rings you have on your fingers, one of then being a gift she got for you.

Then there were your texts. You weren’t dry or simply answering her texts for the purpose of replying but you would always be late to do so. She knows you’re busy with college and whatnot, but she also knew you well. You were hiding something from her. The dilemma she had to deal with was whether to confront you because you being somewhat closed off felt like losing you. Or should she wait until you talk to her?

Will you?

⋆｡°✩

The guy who talked her ear off didn’t even bother paying for her drinks, just his. Her best friend is acting weird. And on top of that she has a show in ten minutes. She can’t operate with a negative state of mind. And none of what was happening was of help.

She understands you and knows you need your own pace when it comes to handling certain things. But what exactly are you handling? And why were you looking like a kicked puppy but now you’re chatting and chuckling with your coworker. That or you were forcing yourself. Yeah, something is wrong. And she’s tired of this.

Completely ignoring the conversation you’re having, which by the way, must be uninteresting and forced because she knows you only really laugh those warm laugh of yours with hers, she asks if you can soon talk.

She’s still respectful of your working hours. When she could just drag you outside and beg you to tell her what is going on with you.

“My shift is over in five minutes, Ani—”

“I can take over from here. You’ve been practically hosting the patrons on me.”

Your coworker, smiles at you and moves to your position. Good.

And you’re so tired and confused you don’t even process how Ani marches over the bar, gently takes your hand and smiles at the man before leading you through the crowded room of sweating bodies until you reach a private, quieter area.

She steps in the room and mentions for you to do the same. You’re honestly surprised how you didn’t manage to faint.

“I need to know what’s your problem.”

Your eyebrows furrow at her tone, knowing she usually takes it with annoying clients or rude people who feel the need to make comments.

“What problem?”

“With me.”

She won’t waste anytime. Whatever the fuck is happening between you two has to end.

You feel your knees go wobbly so you just sit, trying to calm down your hammering heart.

“I…I have no…I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You blurt out in one go, as if taking your time to answer the question might reduce the chance of her picking up on how out of breath you are.

She chuckles dryly, raking her hands through her hair, pacing the room.

Don’t yell. This is not the approach to take here.

“Then why the fuck are you so distant with me?”

She couldn’t control the raised volume of her voice. She quickly regretted it, seeing how you slightly jerked up.

The dim lighting concealed how your eyes were getting bleary and hid her face flushed with anger. Or sadness. Maybe a bit of both. The room felt so stuffy. You looked down at your shoes, finding the colours to be so interesting.

“Did I do something wrong?”

She whispered, barely even audible, like a ghostly breath. You’re sure you wouldn’t have heard her if it weren’t for the utter silence in the room.

And you felt bad. Plain miserable. But hiding the truth was a way to protect the both of you, right? What would she do if she found out that you were crushing, no, fucking fell in love with her and carried on like nothing ever happened—

“Right. I have my answer then. Look, I don’t know what I did wrong but…I want you to know I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I’ll try to be better from now on and so hope that I’m deserving enough of a second chance.”

She sniffs, trying to keep her breathing steady. She couldn’t lose you. Wouldn’t lose you. You’re the best thing in her life. And she hates herself for pushing you away.

She gives you another mental chance at speaking up before moving to leave.

And you let her.

Wiping the few tears she has, she swiftly leaves the room. And when you’re the only one left, you let the tears flow through your face, wanting nothing but to be honest with her, tell her how you feel, relieve yourself from the feeling of carrying what is similar to that of a burden.

Loving her doesn’t feel like one, though. It feels freeing. Weirdly enough it’s like you share the same oxygen, and a part of her cut is sure enough for you to choke.

You look down at the ring she got you from a thrift store, saying that it reminded her of you. Silver. With star design engravings.

“I don’t know why but being with you feels like I’m dreaming.”

Fighting back your nausea, you trace your fingers over the stars, remembering how she held your fingers in hers, linking them together.

You had to tell her the truth. You had to risk telling the truth. She’s deserving of it. And whatever outcome it has, not that you’re thinking of any positive ones, it will be a great relief. Even if it’s painful.

⋆｡°✩

Allowing yourself a minute to take deep breaths and gather your wordings, you slowly left the room, trudging to wait for Ani until she completes her show.

You wait for her near her trailer room, your legs still feeling weak, and slide down the door. Even though you willed your heart to calm down, you still feel this immense pressure on your chest, a slight headache and fatigue from all the overwhelming sensations. You close your eyes and try to rest.

It must not have been that long, because someone is lightly, gently shaking your shoulder. You lift your head from your crossed arms, blinking blearily at the presence of people and lights before your tired gaze lands on her.

Her warm hands are on your cheeks and you feel like you could cry anytime now, even in front of her friends who looks at you like you’re on the verge of a breakdown.

With a silent look, she asks them to leave you, one of them muttering “call me if you need anything.”

She should hate you. She doesn’t even know if she does. But you’re not exactly one of her most favourite people anymore.

That doesn’t mean that seeing you like this makes her feel a sense of victory. If anything it just adds to the shitty mess of emotions she has when it comes to you.

“Ani…”

You softly whispered, trying to get up but she presses down on your shoulders. She picks up bottle of water on the ground and opens it for you.

“Drink.”

Your eyes are puffy and red, your face completely heated. Whatever it is that is happening with you…she wants to help. If you’d let her. If only you’d let her.

Although the water did make you a little clearheaded, you still needed to a bit of space before the same thing happens again.

“Ani, I…this…”

Your head leans back at the door, your eyes closed. She’s never seen you like this. This vulnerable and lost.

She’s grateful that you’re feeling safe…or felt safe enough to be that way around her. If this is the last chance you two have of mending this weird relationship.

“Let’s go outside.”

“But…don’t you have anyone to see after?”

With a wry smile, she stands up and offers you her hand.

“My shift ended as soon as my friends told me you were passed out. Let me get our jackets, okay?”

Right. You would always leave your jackets here. Now you’re worried this would only give valuable reasons of making you look like some weird obsessive.

You wish you had something to drink.

After getting your jackets, you thank her, and walk outside the nightclub, waiting as she waves goodbye to everyone. That’s the thing. Everyone loves her. She could have anyone. Any thoughts of you and her being together for a split second is bounds enough for you to check for signs of delusions.

You lean against the wall, refusing a cigarette when she offers you one.

You don’t want to waste anymore second. The more you wait…the more the dagger will twist in your stomach. Literally. And figuratively. Because you would bleed your love out for that girl.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

You muttered after two minutes, your eyes trained on the sky. It was particularly starry this evening.

Ani confusedly stares at you but says nothing, waiting for you to speak.

Finally speak.

“You didn’t do to say anything hurtful to me, Ani. You never could. I would trust you with my life.”

A pause for breath.

“You apologising when you’re not in the wrong shows how much you care. And you talked about whether you deserved a second chance but that thought never crossed my mind. I’m the one who should apologise and ask you for a second chance. I’ve been acting like a complete jerk these past couple weeks. I’m sorry. That was…that was fucked up on my part.”

You twirl your star ring, and encourage your brain to spill everything that’s it’s been clogging your senses with, spill everything that you’ve been hiding.

“I don’t deserve you at all. I shouldn’t. Not with the way I’ve been feeling—”

“What have you been feeling?”

Her cigarette long finished, she took the opportunity to speak, to finally know what’s the deal between the both of you and if it will ever be resolved. She’ll do it with time and effort, even if you insist that she didn’t do anything wrong. But she won’t do it if you let things go. If you let her go.

You drop your hands and lift your eyes to hers, your ears welling with tears you could hardly make up her frame.

“I’m in love with you.”

To say she felt her guts fell to the ground would have been a complete understatement. She chuckles hesitantly, wondering if this was some kind of sick excuse, and sees nothing but. Her mouth opens and closes, her eyebrows furrowing. While you just wanted to throw up.

“You…what?”

Saying it once was difficult enough but this felt like plunging a knife through your chest.

You’re willing to spill your blood for her if this means saying goodbye. At least she’ll know how much she meant to you.

“I love you, Ani. I don’t know when I realised it but I love you. You’re always there for me, you’re kind and so gentle. You treat me like I’m worth something. And I treasure that. But…I also treasure our relationship and I understand if you think I’m some weirdo who just wanted to be friends with you because I’m attracted to women. Just tell me and I’ll stay away from you, I will get away and—”

“Stop.”

She takes a tired hand to her forehead, lightly pinching it.

Oh you have fucked up so bad—

“Are you fucking with me?”

Your eyes widen at the question before you clear your throat, trying not to cry. You can’t cry.

“No. I…I have feelings for you. I would understand if you think it’s awful.”

“Can you not say that? Why would it be awful?”

“Because you…because you don’t…”

“What, just cause you see me flirting and dating guys doesn’t mean I can’t do the same for girls?”

There’s a soft twinkle in her eyes, the same one you love to find yourself lost in.

“But…but that doesn’t mean you can like me back.”

God, how ridiculous you were.

Do you know the way you made her feel whenever you would hold a sleepover and bring her favourite things to bed just for her? Or offer a drive to and back from her place? And whenever you’d leave your sweater, her favourite sweater, in her reach, don’t you think she wished she could really hold you?

She steps closer to you, moving to wipe your tears away.

“You have no idea, do you?”

Well, to be fair…she was pretty good at hiding it. With you, however, she should have been able to pick up on the signs. Maybe then it might have been quicker.

You close your eyes, refusing to believe that any of this is real and that it’s just a lucid nightmare.

“Look at me, baby.”

She softly whispers, waiting for you to meet her gaze. She presses a kiss on the tip of your nose, loving how absolutely adorable you look.

“I love you. So much. You know when I said that being with you felt like I was dreaming? That’s how I always want to feel. I don’t want us to be apart. Ever. And for that whole thing of me rejecting you? That’s bullshit. You’d still be my best friend in any case.”

You don’t know if you can believe that.

“I would never lie to you.”

She feels her voice breaking with the intensity of emotions she’s feeling. It’s you. Every night, every day, it’s you. You feel more like a dream, really…she would fade into you if you’d allow her to.

“You love me?”

“I love you.”

“Say it again.”

Your voice is hoarse, an effort at trying to hold back your cries. You think you can see Ani’s eyes blearing too, hesitantly reaching up to wipe her tears, just like she did with yours.

“I love you.”

She wastes no time. She doesn’t want to waste anytime.

She presses her forehead against yours, grateful for your touch. The number of times she held those hands, felt them around her waist or shoulders when you’d embrace each other, can’t be at the same level as it is now. Your eyes meet, and you notice the slight darkened hue of her pupils, the sight sending a heat tumbling down your chest.

“Now, you say it.”

“I…I love you, Ani. More than you know.”

She cups your cheeks, her eyes flickering between yours.

“Don’t ever leave me again.”

“I won’t.”

“You promise?”

“I’d swear on my life for you.”

Long seconds are morphed into minutes and you can’t detach yourself from the haze you’re trapped in. Her eyes then lower to your lips before they meet yours again. This time, the painful hammering that you felt in your chest has been replaced by a fluttering sensation.

“Can I kiss you?”

Her question pangs over and over in your mind, mostly because you want to remember everything she said in the exact tone. Thinking she stepped too far, she was about to pull back and apologise when you wrapped your arms around her waist and nodded.

She chuckled, leaning to graze her lips, trailing from your cheek to your ear, tickling the skin.

“Words, baby.”

“Y-yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, I want to kiss you.”

“Good.”

She looks between your eyes, slowly leaning in to give you enough time before she captures her lips in yours. It feels like she’s living for the first time again. She’s buzzing from the softness of your lips, how they taste like your chapstick you always carried everywhere with you.

It’s slow, new, almost hesitant. But it still makes her feel warm, on top of her jacket, forgetting the evening winter air surrounding you. You break apart for a quick breath before pulling each other closer again, this time the kiss going from sweet to passionate. She softly tugs your bottom lip with her teeth, making you slightly yelp. She smiles against your lips before you switch positions and gently push her on the wall, breaking apart to kiss her jaw, her neck, careful not to leave any marks, then back to her lips. Everything is mingled. Your tastes, your breaths, your bodies, no one wants to leave anytime soon. Too drunk with desire to do anything about it.

Until you hear remaining dancers leave and you jump. Ani laughs and you join along with her, the sounds creating a blissful harmony.

You wrap your arms around her, pressing her body closer to yours, and take a moment to breathe.

You’re sure you would give your own life if it were to kiss Ani again. It felt as good as it was in your dreams, sweet, loving, and hungry.

“When there’s something you need to tell me, tell me, alright? No more secrets from now on.”

“I will. I promise you. I’m…I’m so sorry again for not saying anything sooner.”

She softly presses kisses all over your face, before tugging on your jacket and pressing her lips against yours.

“Don’t apologise. I understand if you were afraid. I would be, too. I was…even a bit scared if I’m honest with you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. But we’re…we’re together now, right?”

You’ve never seen her this way, so uncertain. You promised yourself to never make her feel doubt again. Not like you did before.

“We’re together. I’m your girl, Ani.”

“And I’m yours.”

And one last kiss was shared before you ended up in your home, not knowing the place will morph with memories you’ve created together.

[sixosix]

END NOTE | THAWED

a little love letter to my readers

to start off, i know that the series is based off the entire reputation album, but i like to think that this whole series was written around call it what you want.

how it started LMFAOOO

This was previously titled ‘melt’ before i was like ‘nah ill make it, like, thaw” and earthtooz went, “Thawed?” little did earth know,, that name would literally take over my docs,,, my tags,,, my ENTIRE account

A message to my readers: From the bottomest bottom of my heart, if you have reached this series until the very end, thank you so, so much for reading. Read that sentence again. And again, until you realize how grateful I truly am as a writer. Thawed is such a big project that I still can’t believe I was able to even start. I genuinely never thought it would garner this much attention, and in all honestly, I was intimidated by it, because I had no idea what I was doing, and I was afraid I would disappoint.

This entire project was intimidating, and I considered so many times to just drop it and end it on chapter five. I struggled so badly to write after I introduced the characters, and I thought: “well, that’s it. I guess it was fun.” I even told my friends that I would do that; and yet 14 chapters later, look at where we are now 😭

Writing it was so exhausting. Working on a series while studying as a student really makes it difficult to remember details about my own story T__T I had to reread Thawed so many times to the point where I don’t even like it anymore.

But I know the reason why I decided to continue it! It sounds so horribly cliche, but it’s true. It’s thanks to all your overwhelming support :( Each ask, comment, reblog—they all fueled me more than you think. All those replies of even incoherent gibberish made me realize that, ‘hey, someone read it and liked it enough to send an ask about it. Maybe I am doing something right!!!!’

some thawed extras for readers who are interested

If you haven’t noticed, the chapter titles aren’t actually accurately about the chapter. Those titles were taken from the songs in the Reputation album, in order. And the chapters are loosely based around them!

reputation is, like, widely known as the edgy album from taylor, but in reality its such a big love letter and i know that other people noticed that, too! i think it’s very fitting to the story of thawed: it’s dark and messy, but at the end of the day, it’s a love story. do you get what i mean hehe. i hope that’s how the series came across…

im sorry if aether doesnt appear in the last chapter :( in my head, mc is coming home. and by then i dont think aether would be in fontaine at all! but rest assured they definitely have met up twice or thrice while in the other regions heehee. Also aether will ofc be there for their weeding. 🙏

i have nothing much else to say aside from thank you for reading! i hope u enjoyed thawed as much as i did

[boundbyeclipse]

Hii, I just want to start off by saying that your writing is absolutely amazinggg seriously! And I’ve now seen that you uploaded a prompt list so I was wondering if you could do prompt 5 from angst, and specifically maybe if it would work out Kai saying that to reader because she’s an original vampire? You don’t have to do that of course it’s just an idea and then maybe if it would be possible to combine that with prompt 2 from smut?

Anyway i just want to say again that your writing is amazing anddd im so happy that you write for Kai cause we really need more Kai fanfics out here

hello, darling! ♡ i cannot describe how grateful i am hearing such words, it’s exactly what keeps me going! and yes, we do need more fics with kai on here, i totally agree with you. glad to be one of those who can give people what they want! feel free to request, leave feedback, give ideas or just ask anything in general ♡ + i decided to portray kai simply as a powerful witch in this fic, no bad background, no murders, no sociopathic behavior. will this make any sense? i don’t know. anyways, i hope that you like it ♡

tags : witch!Kai, female!reader, original vampire!reader, Kai with a lingerie kink, a little fight, hickeys, oral sex, make up sex (?), Klaus and Rebekah mentioned

♠️ 5. “Why would I help someone like you?”

⛓️ 2. “I like it when you say my name like that”

“So, what are you here for?” Kai asked as he tilted his head sideways, standing across the room.

“I need your help”

Ever since your brother has gone missing, you have been nothing but desperate to find him. You’ve searched for ways to know where he is, and there was nobody who could help you track him down. Not a single witch wanted any business with the Mikaelsons knowing their past behaviors and stubborness. Every time you pleaded for help, they would turn you down and leave you with no other choice but to keep trying. And as much as you had no good of a relationship with people in Mystic Falls, this was your last chance. Your only hope was no other than Kai Parker.

The man who you once had a romance blooming with.

“Seriously? Why would I help someone like you? You and your family left Mystic Falls without saying goodbye, know how much that hurt me? You left me. I thought we really had something. You Mikaelsons are all about leaving things and people behind just for your own sake”

You shook your head as you took a few steps closer to him, gulping as regret began washing over you.

“It’s just because my family wouldn’t let me. I wanted to, Kai, I really did. But I was forced to leave and I had no time to come and say my goodbyes. And I’m sorry for that, okay? I’m really, really sorry. I know it’s plain stupidity of me to show up like this out of the blue, but I really need you to help me”

“And of all those witches in New Orleans, you chose me? Is it because you wanted to see me again? Or is it because you think that I’ll help you since I’m the only one who cares?”

Tears welled up in your eyes when Kai said the very last sentence. Does he still care? Even after your unnanounced disappearance? Maybe there’s still a little spark in his heart just like there is one in yours. There has to be. It’s in his eyes. You can see it. Yes, you’ve managed to adapt to a new location, new life, but no matter what you did, Kai never left your mind. He was always there.

“Probably both, if I’m honest. Don’t lie to me now, Kai, admit that you actually do still care. Admit that we still have something”

Silence stands in between you both as Kai avoids to give you an answer. It’s almost crystal clear that there are feelings lingering between you both, even after all this time of not seeing each other. The connection, the way your hearts beat in sync, the way you look at one another. It gives it all away. Love has never left your poor souls.

“Fine. What do you want me to do?” he finally breaks the silence, drawing your attention back to him as you were lost in your thoughts.

“It’s my brother. Klaus. I need you to do a locator spell on him. He’s been gone and no one wanted to help me. Someone must’ve taken him and imprisoned him”

Kai walked up to the table and grabbed a map, unfolding it and placing it down. He lit up a few candles and put them on the sides. He shot you a look, from which you understood that he needed a personal item or anything with your brother’s DNA on it.

“Oh, right. Here” you came up to him and handed an old ring of Klaus’s that he used to wear a lot.

“I’m gonna need to draw some blood from you since you two are related. Just a little bit. Shall I?”

You nod and watch as Kai grabs a knife, then taking your hand in his gently. Your eyes meet at that moment, the skinship creating a pretty much awkward atmosphere in the room. Kai clears his throat while you look away for a few seconds, knowing deep inside your heart that you have missed this so much. It was so nice to feel his skin again since the last time you saw him. It brought back many memories and it hurt. You really wanted things to be good again. You wanted Kai back.

He cut your palm and you squeezed it into a fist, allowing drops of blood to drip onto the map below.

“Give me your hand now”

You gave him your other hand to hold as Kai began to chant a spell to find Klaus. The small drops of blood began moving to connect into a big one, leading to the location of your brother.

“He’s in New York” you sighed in relief, letting go of Kai’s hand as he revealed the location. You could only nod before speaking.

“Thank you” a faint whisper could be heard.

As you stood up from your seat ready to leave, you heard a low, full of desperation voice that called out your name. You froze in place, feeling the way every muscle in your body tensed up once your eyes met.

“Wait” he says, voice shaky and husky, eyes glossy and wide open as he stands in front of you, his quickened heartbeat reaching your ears. He was nervous.

“I admit it. I admit that I still care. And I really was angry that evening when you left, I really was. I tried to move on, had other girls hit on me, but it never worked out. Not in their favor. Because it was you who occupied my mind day and night, I couldn’t let any other woman get to know me because I always held on and waited for you. I was even willing to wait for however long I should. I’m sorry, ____, I shouldn’t have lashed out like that”

You let out a choked sob, running over to Kai and pressing your lips against his, indulging yourself into a passionate kiss. You then pulled away, lips parted as you looked into Kai’s blue eyes, his pupils dilated. The tension was growing with each second that passed.

He did not hesitate and pulled you into another kiss - this time, a deeper, lustful one. His strong hands held your hips firmly, constantly pulling them against his own body, soon finding their way to the back of your thighs. You felt his fingertips digging into your soft skin, leaving you breathless and craving for something more. You pushed him against the wall, ripping his shirt open, buttons flying everywhere on the floor. Kai let out a little moan as your lips kissed on his neck, leaving wet traces on it. He grabbed you by the waist and fumbled with the hem of your shirt, pulling it up to take it off. He attacked your exposed chest with bites, sucking on it lightly as he left marks here and there.

“Kai” you moaned out loud, head thrown back.

“I like it when you say my name like that”

It felt so ecstatic to feel him again. You have almost forgotten how soft his skin was, how much his touch brought you to your knees, how beautiful he sounded whenever you kissed his neck. But tonight, everything came back to you.

Soon you both were left nearly naked, clothes scattered all over the room as you were on top of him in his bed. Your nails left scratches on his stomach as you kissed down his v-line, listening to Kai’s breath hitch in reaction to the sensation. You smirked against his flesh, enjoying the little whimpers of his. Your hands then played with his rock hard length, stroking it agonisingly slowly in order to tease.

Your dominance was short lived as Kai sat up and flipped you around, now hovering above you, his fingers digging under your panties to rub circles on your wet clit.

“Oh my god” you wailed, arching your back and gripping on the mattress.

But then, to your surprise, your phone that you left on the drawer in the room started ringing. It stopped Kai from doing what he was doing, but quickly enough his lips curved into a smirk. He leaves you lying on the bed for a brief moment, grabbing the phone and bringing it to you. The person’s name showed up on the screen and your eyes widened.

“Pick up” he challenges you as he hands you the device, hovering above you and continuing to tease you with his hands.

“Kai-“

“Come on. Pick it up” his eyes darken and you’re left with no other option but to oblige. You grab your phone breathless, watching as Kai lays down and positions himself in between your legs, kissing your pulsating core through the fabric.

You gulp as you swipe right to answer the call.

“Rebekah” you say, trying your best to not sound suspicious. It’s hard to do so once Kai pulls your panties aside and dives in, using his tongue to please you. He licks a stripe up your folds, causing you to bite your lip to suppress the moans that were fighting to slip out.

“Did you find Klaus?”

“Y-yeah, we found him. He’s in New York” you spoke with a pretty shaky voice, fearing that she’s going to catch on and embarrass you right here right now.

“Are you alright? What’s going on?” she asks.

Damn it.

“Yes, I’m okay. Just- Just head there, I’ll join soon”

Rebekah sighed, “Okay. I’ll leave you to your fun then”

You quickly hang up and Kai giggles against your cunt, to which you can only respond with a huff. But your mind is taken back to where it was when Kai sits up and aligns himself with your entrance, his tip brushing against it. You choke on your breath, looking at him with pleading eyes.

“Stop teasing, please”

“I will. Because I cannot hold it any longer either” he groans as he pushes himself into you, making your mouth open wide as you gasp. Kai leans in and kisses you, moving his hips back and forth as he grabbed your hands and placed them above your head, intertwining the fingers. He wasted no time in picking up the pace, the bed now creaking and bodies layered in a coat of sweat.

It did not take long before you both felt your climaxes coming. Kai sat up and pulled you in, now holding your body close to his as you worked your hips back and forth, your faces so close your lips brushed against each other’s. You buried your fingers in his hair, tugging on it lightly while Kai took a good squeeze on your ass.

Both of you had your heads thrown back once you reached your ends, fireworks exploding in your bodies. He held you tightly throughout your orgasm, then planting a kiss on your forehead as loud breaths filled the room.

“I so wish I could stay” you confessed, caressing his cheek as you two now stood near the bedroom door.

“You don’t have to. I’ll come with you”

“What?” your eyes widened, thinking you might’ve misheard him.

“You heard me, angel. Now let’s take a shower and go help Rebekah to get your brother back, alright?”

You nodded, pecking his warm lips as you followed him down the hall to the bathroom.

[obey-me-disaster]

hey im the gal who requested ya write the whole, mc dies and doesnt come back thing. i just read the first part and i gotta say it was really well written lol. and if you dont mind, could i ask for the side characters' reaction?

thanks :yellow_heart:

I am glad you liked the first part ^-^

Spoilers for lesson 16!!

Warnings: death and description of it, grieving.

Side characters x gn!MC(Luke is of course platonic)

MC stays dead for good

Diavolo

He was aware he was most likely sending MC to their death but he still held onto the hope that they will make it out alive. They have been doing so well until that point, managed to get pacts with over half of the brothers, but unfortunately, fate had other plans for them.

He will beat himself over this whole affair for a long time. Not only did the exchange program failed, but he also let down a friend and led them to their own death.

He got so carried away when MC said they want to prove that Belphegor was innocent that he forgot they were only human. They didn't have a grasp on how to use their magic and pacts.

This failure as both a ruler and a friend will always live in the back of his head. That day he failed multiple people and he was the one that had to tell them there is no saving MC in the end. The only thing worse than the memory of MC's corpse being craddled gently by Mammon were the defeated looks of all the brothers.

Belphegor should count himself lucky he is not killed on the spot. All of Diavolo's hard work went down the drain in one night. It would probably take another 2000 years before he could even attempt peace between the three world again. The only reason Belphegor is only locked up and not killed is because of the brothers. He will have to deal with political fallout that MC's death would bring, he can't deal with the chaos the brothers would rise if he were to kill Belphegor.

Barbatos

He knew this would happen yet he still hoped that MC would make it out alive, there are timelines where they do that after all.

In the end, he didn't get his hopes up and he was grateful for that. The sight of their corpse, the looks on the brother's faces, even the disappointed and sadness on Diavolo's face, he was able to keep his calm demeanor through all of that.

He was the one that dealt with all the details that about proceedings after MC's death. Their families would have to be informed but still hide all of the details about the exchange, Belphegor's imprisonment and standing by Diavolo's side as the consequences begind to follow.

He didn't get the opportunity to get close to MC and for that he was glad. It was easier to deal with their death and the fact that they were never coming back.

The only thing that bothered him is when he would see them happy and healthy in other timelines. That's when all the 'what if?' question would pop up in his mind. But in the end those were not his timelines. He knew better than to indulge in worlds that he did not belong to after living with his powers for so long.

Simeon

He only found out days after MC's actual death but he felt something was deeply wrong even before that. Neither the brothers, nor Diavolo and Barbatos would show up to school and he couldn't reach MC.

When he heard that MC died he thought it was at the hands of a lower demon. He didn't know the whole attic ordeal so that was the only logical explanation at the moment.

When he learned the whole truth, he wasn't sure if he would have preferred to live in ignorance or not. It really shaken his perception of the brothers for a bit, after all he knew Belphie since he was an angel. To find out that the angel that loved humans so much turned into a demon that hated humanity was quite the shock to him.

He insisted to remain for MC's funeral. He wasn't there for their last moments, so he wants to be there when their soul is sent off to the Celestial Realm.

He tries hide how much MC's death hurt him from Luke. He is young and just lost someone, so Simeon tries to be there for him before the tries to work through his feelings.

He really saw MC as someone to cherish and even look up, often times referring to how they would make a better angel than him. To him they seemed so untouchable that he forgot how humans with no control of their magic could be.

Luke

All the progress he made about seeing demons in a better light is gone. He even sees them as bigger monsters than before.

Poor kid really looked up to MC as an older sibling figure so to hear that they have died broke him. Since he wasn't alive through the wars, MC's death was probably the first violent death he had ever have to deal with. Maybe MC the first person in his life to even die.

He is aware that Simeon is pushing his feelings aside for him and he hates but doesn't know how to deal with these knew feelings so he just accepts his help.

Will probably bake MC's favorite deserts in their memory...poor kid isn't really sure on how to deal when loved ones die, especially when they are murdered.

Solomon

If MC died at the begging of the exchange program he wouldn't have been surprised, it's Devildom after all. But not only did they not die, they made 5 pacts with the lords of Hell and managed to sneak their way into his life.

He wasn't expecting that he would get so attached to his fellow human exchange but they did. So when things started to change about the brothers he started to expect the worst.

He knew there would come a day when MC would leave him for good and die, all the people in his life did that but he didn't expect for that time to come so soon. Especially in such a cruel manner.

MC was the one that made him see demons as friends, and while not all the progress is gone he will still need to take some time for himself.

He has done it 1000 times over the course of his life span, he dealt with the death of his loved ones more than he would like yet, it's still never easy to get used to their presence being gone. Especially when it's so out of nowhere.

For quite a while he doesn't even dare to try and make a pact with Lucifer. Is it due to MC's memory, knowing that he won't get a pact in those circumstances? He isn't really sure, he just knows he wants to throw himself into his research to distract himself from the wound MC's death left in his heart.

[godawfulfruitbat]

hello tumblr, it’s been a while.

like….WAAYYYYY longer than i intended it to be. but man. shit happened. and shit is happening.

i want to apologize in advance as i come with no art today, i just want to do my best to provide a quick life update and some words of love. talking/writing has never really been my strong suit, but i will give it my all regardless.

in terms of life update, there’s been a good handful of things going on during the past few months. for one, i got a job! i don’t talk about my personal life too much here, but there was a good block of time during the duration of this blog where i was unemployed. but im finally working again and it feels good. in terms of surgery recovery, its been…a lot. i had some minor issues with fluid buildup in my chest, and then later on i had an infection in one of my scars. but i am now at a point where im up and running, and everything has been resolved in that regard. another thing i don’t discuss much here is my struggles with physical health. in my personal life, i deal with chronic pain. and, during top surgery recovery, all of my issues just SKYROCKETED since i was off a few of my medications and have only very slowly been returning to their normal level of nuisance. i’m doing better than i was a few months ago, but things are still not the best. i’m at a point in my life where it has been in my best interest to use a cane in instances where i know i will be walking a lot or standing up for long periods of time to deal with some of the pain i get in my back, hips, knees and ankles. it’s been a pretty big help, and it’s an adjustment i’m glad i made. i’m having a lot of big feelings surrounding my experiences with chronic pain, especially now, but i am learning to live with them and move forward. when i am able to do so, id love to go back to posting on here. however, i am no longer at a point in my life where i can prioritize this blog the same way i used to. i will do what i can, and i promise to come back every now and then to check in with you all. every single one of you has had so much patience with me and showed me so much kindness and i am so grateful. you all are wonderful, and i love you very much.

and since i cannot in good faith say nothing, i am from america and i too am overwhelmed with grief and loss. i am still mourning the sliver of hope i had for seeing brighter days in the near future. but to those who see this and are in the same boat, you are not alone. you are loved, your presence matters and is important. your thoughts and your words are powerful, and it’s not over yet. if you need someone in your corner, reach out. i am here for you, as are so many others. i reiterate; you are loved.

everyone please stay safe, and be kind to yourself. i love you all so much. <3

[thelovelylolly]

hi there :) i loved your latest Billy fic, it nearly brought tears to my eyes. could you please do a fluff alphabet with Billy ? Thank you 🤍 keep writing, you're so good at this !!!

Fluff Alphabet w/ Billy Hargrove

A/N: aw thank you so much love! i hope you enjoy <3 (also this isn't proofread bc im tired, what else is new lol)

A: Affection (how does he show affection/is he good at it)

He mainly shows it through physical touch or little acts of service. He's not very vocal about his love, he much rather show it. He loves to hold your hand or have an arm around you at all times.

B: Beauty (what does he think makes his s/o beautiful)

While physical looks are a huge part of his attraction towards you, he really loves your personality. He loves the little quirks about you, little things that only come out later on in your relationship. It's almost like he's the only person who knows about those things, and it makes him feel so special.

C: Comfort (how he comforts his s/o after a rough day)

He'd take you out for a drive. He'd let you pick the music to blast from the speakers in the car and let you roll the windows down. He loves to hear you scream the lyrics to your favorite songs and if he knows the song, he'd sing a long, too :)

D: Dreams (what does his dream future with his s/o look like)

He wants a home and kids, but he's terrified he'd become just like his father. He knows if he pursues the family life with you, you would never let him become like his dad, but it's still a fear he'll always have.

E: Equal (is he more dominant or soft in the relationship)

It's Billy, even ooc, he's the dominant one. He doesn't see himself as superior to you in anyway, he just knows what he wants and he's gonna get it, y'know? Your happy to let him take the wheel in the relationship, but you both know that you'd take it back if needed.

F: Fight (how would a typical fight go and how easily would he forgive his s/o)

At the beginning of your relationship, Billy would pick fights over stupid things. You fought back, putting him in his place of course, until the fighting became too much and you sat down with him to talk things out. After that, the fights nearly stop, only happening over serious things.

G: Gratitude (is he grateful for all his s/o does/has done for him)

He's so grateful for you. You helped him cope with the abuse he'd gone through, you were patient with him as he unlearned toxic habits he had because of his dad, you were an angel to him and he will always be grateful for you.

H: Honest (how honest is he to his s/o)

He's pretty honest with you. He only hid and lied about things to you at the start of your relationship, but once his walls come down, he doesn't have anything to hide. He mainly stopped hiding and lying to you because he never wanted to lose you over it.

I: Inspiration (did his s/o inspired him to become a better person)

Yes, 100%. Like before, you helped him cope with the abuse he had gone through. You helped him work on himself to become a better person, a person he would've never become without you.

J: Jealousy (does he get jealous)

Yes, yes, yes. Did I mention yes? He's so scared of losing you that if another guy tries to make a move on you, Billy is by your side in a second to scare the guy away. He knows you wouldn't leave him, but he can never too safe.

K: Kiss (where does he kiss his s/o, where does his s/o kiss him)

He loves to kiss you anywhere, but especially on your lips. While he's kiss other girls on the lips, you were different. Every time he kisses your lips, sparks fly like he's kissing you for the first time again and again. Your favorite place to kiss him is the top of his head. He loves wrapping his arms around you when your standing in front of him while he's sitting, so you would press soft kisses to the top of his head. Just gentle intimacy :)

L: Little ones (how is he with kids)

Not good AT ALL. Unless they're his, he does not like kids. He'd try to put up with other people's kids if your babysitting them or something, but he doesn't like taking care of kids that aren't his. If they are his, he's one of the best dad's out there.

M: Marriage (does he want to get married)

Yes, but I feel like he doesn't want a traditional wedding. If you want one, he'd be down, but I think he'd prefer a courthouse wedding with a small reception with your closest friends afterwords. He doesn't see the point of dropping thousands of dollars on one day, but like I said, if you want a traditional wedding day, he'd be happy with it.

N: Nicknames (what nicknames does he have for his s/o and vice versa)

His go-to pet names are 'babe', 'baby', and 'sweetheart'. He isn't good at making personal nicknames, so he just sticks with the simple pet names. You do the same, usually calling him 'babe' or 'handsome'.

O: On cloud nine (what's he like when he's in love)

When he's in truly and deeply in love, his playboy personality disappears. He's a gentleman and a sweetheart, making sure you know he loves you. At first, he doesn't say it a lot, but after a few months, he'll be saying "I love you" every chance he gets.

P: PDA (is he okay with pda)

He loves PDA. He loves having an arm around you or his fingers intertwined with yours. It's mainly because he wants to tell the world your his s/o and he wants to show you off.

Q: Quirk (a trait of his that makes him a great partner)

When he loves, he loves hard. He's kissing you, cuddling you, hugging you, doing things for you. You name it, he does it. He puts his whole heart into his relationship with you because he adores you and you treat him better than anyone else does.

R: Romance (how romantic is he)

He's romantic, but not in a cheesy way. He does the dinners and flowers, but not only on special days like Valentine's day. He also gets you little gifts no matter the occasion. You spotted something you wanted but didn't end up getting? It's on your bed a few days later with a sweet, short note from Billy.

S: Security (how protective is he)

Jealous AND protective. If he gets a bad vibe from someone, he's immediately finding a reason to get you out of the situation. He'd put himself between you and danger if it ever comes down to it. He puts you before him in a dangerous or uneasy situation.

T: Thrill (does he like new things in the relationship or does he like routine)

He loves adventure, so he likes to try new things. Mainly new date locations and activities to keep things fresh. I have a feeling he wouldn't like going back to the same place over and over again (unless it's your favorite restaurant or date location).

U: Ugly (what are some of his bad traits and does he know about them)

His temper. It's gotten better because you pointed it out to him, but it used to be so much worse. He used to have such a short temper that your arguments would be over stupid little things. It was because that was how he defended himself from his dad, so that's how he reacted whenever he felt threatened or criticize. Luckily, you helped him out and now he's much better.

V: Value (is his relationship his main priority)

YES!!! Billy is head over heels in love with you, of course you and your relationship is his priority! You're basically his entire world <3

W: Wild Card

He likes to be the little spoon when you two cuddle. With your arms around him, it's a reminder that you're there with him and you love him enough to cuddle with him. It's a comfort thing, and you don't mind it at all.

X: XOXO (how often does he kiss, hug, and cuddle with you)

Any chance he gets. He loves his arms around you and his lips on yours. If you need some distance, he'll respect that of course, but physical touch is definitely one of his love languages.

Y: Yuck (something he doesn't like)

Too much complaining. He understands complaining about your day or a person neither of you like, but he doesn't like it when you or anyone is constantly complaining like they're impossible to please.

Z: Zzz (how is he when he sleeps)

Since your relationship started and you two started to sleep in the same bed, he sleeps like a baby. He snores a little bit and tosses, too, but you two are always touching one way or another while you two sleep. After a while, Billy couldn't fall asleep without you with him.

[hugmekenobi]

S2: The Bad Batch (13)

Chapter Thirteen: Pabu

Gif by @im-no-jedi

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Series Summary: Some time has passed since everything that happened at Kamino and you and the Batch are trying to figure out your place in the rapidly changing Imperial galaxy. And you're having to do all this whilst figuring out where your relationship with Hunter fits into it.

Chapter Summary: The life on the run from Cid isn't working out and so Phee offers to bring you all to her home away from home.

Masterlist for S1

<Previous Chapter

Genre: Friends (idiots) to Lovers (we're in the lovers stage now)

Chapter Warnings: Canon-typical violence, swearing, very minor moments of unwanted advances, mild injury description, mentions of food and drinks, instances of innuendo, SMUT (non-explicit descriptions of kissing and making out, light biting/marking, light bondage, oral (m & f receiving), brief f. masturbation, fingering, unprotected P n V (be safe in reality please), grinding, multiple Os with hints at overstimulation, Hunter talks you through it, a flash of cum eating), mild angsty thoughts but lots of fluff and feelings too, reader do be scheming, and my usual points of going slightly off-plot and the Force doing what I need it to

Word Count: 8.8K

Author's notes: Two panic attacks and two academic essays later lol, I finally have this chapter! I am so sorry it has been such a long wait but I hope you all enjoy!

You were feeling more like yourself. You still didn’t know what had set you off, and it did remain a lingering thought in the back of your mind, but it wasn’t having a negative impact on you anymore. A fact you were grateful for because doing this mission with Phee required you all to be focused.

You had been briefed by her before heading into the bar, with Tech remaining as your getaway driver. Omega would make the deal alongside Phee whilst the rest of you split up and took inconspicuous spots around the space.

You drowned out the general chatter from the bar patrons and ignored the gentle thrum of the music as you stayed on guard whilst you went to your positions and waited. Hunter sat by one of the card tables, you had taken up home by the bar and Wrecker sat amongst another group at another table. Phee and Omega were at the top booth and sitting across from Phee’s contact- Crowder- who had two of his men on either of him as well as scattered throughout the bar.

You pretended to nurse a drink as you played your part. One downside of your spot however meant you were having to wave away those that believed they had a chance with you. One such person was now stood directly in front of you.

“Not interested.” You replied coolly before he had a chance to speak. Much to your surprise, he just shrugged and walked away. You doubted that would be a common theme, but you’d take it, nonetheless.

--

The meeting between Phee and Crowder seemed to be going okay but you knew nothing was certain in these situations. You were also having to balance keeping an eye on them and still seeing off those that still approached you and it was time to do that again as another man stood in front of you.

“Come here often?”

You just sighed and shook your head and looked past him.

“Hey, I’m talking to you.” He waved a hand in front of your face.

“Look, I’m really not-” You stopped abruptly as you saw Hunter stand and throw his blade in the direction of Phee- it looked like his target had been the Kouhun bug- and stand up tall. You were glad you were still sitting down because- had you been standing- you were sure that you would’ve just melted to the floor after seeing him do that and you had to fight to keep your jaw from dropping open. Gathering yourself, you got ready to act since it looked like your services were going to be required after all since Crowder’s men were on their feet with their guns drawn in the directions of Hunter and Phee.

“I’ll be taking the artifact now. You should’ve brought more muscle than that, Phee.” Crowder sneered.

A deep chuckle got his attention, and it was then he saw another man stand up tall from one of the tables. He towered over his men.

“She did.” Wrecker said as he cracked his neck.

You patted the newest arrival on the shoulder. “Yeah, this is the part where you might want to head on out.” You whispered to the now taken aback man beside you. You pulled out your blaster and stepped away from the bar and focused your stare on the enemy ahead of you.

“Now it’s getting interesting.” Phee said.

Wrecker made the first move and the club descended into chaos. Customers ran out screaming whilst the rest of you dealt with Crowder’s men and took cover from their blaster fire.

You flipped a table and crouched behind it and spoke urgently into your comm, “Tech, we need a pickup.”

“On my way.”

Crowder’s reinforcements had arrived and there wasn’t much more the rest of you could do. You had the credits and the artifact Phee wanted, there was no sense in staying.

“I think it’s time to go!” Omega called from her position.

“Wrecker!” Hunter signalled to his brother as they both threw a smoke bomb to give you all adequate cover to leave.

Tech arrived with the Marauder just as you all exited the club and with a few defensive rounds of blaster fire, you were able to safely get on the ship and get outta there.

--

“You have to stop doing things like that in public.” You murmured as you walked beside him into the cockpit.

“Hmm?” He glanced at you.

“The thing with the knife. The thing were you just look so damn competent and capable.”

“You mean my job?” Hunter teased.

You shot him a look. “Well, you need to stop doing your job like that. Because every time you do, I get distracted by thoughts I should not be having on missions like that.” You sighed irritably leaned back against the wall and crossed your arms.

“Yeah?” Hunter tilted his head and smirked at you. He looked down the hallway to see Phee, Wrecker and Omega still talking and a look back at Tech told him his brother was not paying either of you any attention. He took a step closer to you and crowded you further into the wall. He brought his lips to your neck and gently traced your skin as he whispered, “It’s not just you, believe me…” He trailed off and planted a series of soft kisses against your neck and jaw.

You allowed yourself to enjoy it for a moment before you affectionately pushed him away from you. “That’s not helping.”

“Do I wanna know?” Phee asked. She had entered the cockpit just as you had created the distance between you and Hunter.

Hunter cleared his throat, and you just shook your head and you both focused on regaining your composure.

You stayed where you were as Phee took the seat next to you and Hunter situated himself on the one just behind Tech that faced one of the other control panels.

“Now that was a fun mission.” Omega said gleefully as she and Wrecker remained down in the main part of the ship.

“You got that right.” Wrecker said with a chuckle.

Phee peered back at the young girl before she addressed the rest of you. “You know, Omega was pretty impressive back there.”

“Her training’s paying off.” Hunter said as he turned his seat to answer.

“Oh, I know she’s got the whole soldier-thing down. But don’t you think she should learn some other skills?”

“What other skills?” Tech asked as he too now turned to face Phee.

“Omega spends all her time with you four. She needs friends. Ones her own age and who don’t share her genetic profile.”

“We never had such a thing. I do not see the issue.” Tech said dismissively.

“No kidding.” Phee said with a small, exasperated smile. She looked at you. “You get what I’m talking about, right? You had your own life before these guys.”

You didn’t really know how to answer that. Your upbringing hadn’t been that different from theirs but even you had to concede that she had a point on that one. It wasn’t exactly the most typical environment to grow up in so it probably wouldn’t hurt if Omega could experience a different side of life that wasn’t always about when the next dangerous mission was going to be. Before you could answer, Tech spoke again.

“We’re receiving a transmission. It is from Cid.”

You shared a mildly concerned look with Hunter. It had to happen sooner or later. She wouldn’t let you guys get off that easily.

Hunter stood up. “Let’s hear it.”

Wrecker and Omega joined the rest of you to hear the message.

Tech patched the message through, and Cid’s holographic image filled the cockpit.

“So, it’s been 20 rotations and no word. You better be dead because your absence has cost me a few scores. Remember our mutually beneficial arrangements, and how well we know one another; if you know what I mean. You’d do well not assume I am just threatening you boys.” The transmission ended.

A beat of silence past before Phee filled it. “You didn’t mention you cut ties with Cid.”

“Our mutually beneficial arrangement wasn’t so beneficial, mutually.” Hunter said sheepishly.

“Figured that out, did you?” Phee sprawled back in her chair. “I’ve known Cid a long time. She’s a useful ally, but not someone you want to cross. Do you have a plan?”

“You’re looking at it.” Hunter said.

You could tell he was mildly embarrassed at not being to offer anything more. You knew he didn’t like the aimless nature of what you all were doing right now. You squeezed his hand in reassurance.

“In that case, you all are coming with me.” Phee stated.

Hunter angled himself to face you as he sought your input.

You shrugged. We can’t keep doing what we’re doing, and you know that. If Phee is offering a place for us to go, there’s no harm in taking it. At least for a little while.

Phee watched you and Hunter do that thing again. She figured now was good a moment to put her plan into action whilst the two of you were focused on each other. “You guys ever get sick of their silent communication style?”

“Nah, she does it with all of us.” Wrecker said absent-mindedly, not realising his mistake until he’d finished speaking and saw all sets of eyes on him. “Um, I mean…”

“With all of you, huh?” Phee said curiously, angling her face to yours. You didn’t conceal your wince quick enough. That definitely confirmed that what she’d seen between you and Omega on Nal Hutta was the same thing that occurred between you and Hunter. “What does he mean by that?”

“Nothing.” You said defensively, crossing your arms as you stood on guard.

“Not an option for an answer. I’ve noticed this thing you got going on for a while. I won’t back down on this anymore.”

“Phee…” Hunter cautioned.

“Come on, Bandana. If I’m to take you to a place I keep close to my chest, I should be told about this. Haven’t we established some trust here? (Y/N), I promise I won’t tell, whatever it is?”

You glanced to Hunter who shrugged. “It’s not my secret to tell. If you want to, you can.”

Your eyes flickered over to the others who all- along with an apologetic smile from Wrecker- nodded in agreement with Hunter. You inhaled slowly. She had been helping you all out when she didn’t have to. You could do this for her. You focused on keeping the nerves out your voice as you spoke. “I’m a Jedi, Phee. What you’ve so keenly observed is me talking to the others without speaking out loud. They’re hearing my voice in their head.”

Phee’s jaw dropped. In all her travels, she’d only ever had the luxury of learning about your kind. She’d never been fortunate enough to meet one and she’d never have guessed you’d be the person to finally let her achieve that. “A Jedi?” She repeated in a hushed tone. “You mean you survived?”

You shifted on your feet awkwardly. “I mean sure, technically I did, but I left the Jedi Order long before the purge and this lot didn’t find out until after so my survival story is a bit different. Don’t really think it counts as one to be quite honest.” You added quietly, more to yourself than anyone else.

Hunter cleared his throat at you in gentle reprimand.

Phee nodded and didn’t want to press you for further information. She gathered your past would be a sensitive area, so she moved on. “So, what does one have to do to get in on that level of communication?” She asked eagerly.

You rolled your eyes. “Well, liking the person is a start.” You teased light-heartedly as you saw her frown. “That and time spent together helps strengthen the bond I need for it.”

“And where am I at in the process?”

“I’ll let you know.” You said nonchalantly.

Phee let out a grumbled sigh, but she accepted this. “I meant what I said, your secret is safe with me.”

You did find yourself believing her.

“Alright then, with that business taken care of, let’s get going!” Phee said cheerily as she walked over to Tech. She placed a hand on his shoulder. “Head to these coordinates, brown eyes.”

Tech, taken aback by the placement of her hand, did as she requested.

--

“Welcome to Pabu, my home away from home.” Phee said happily as she led the way off the ship. “It’s a hidden sanctuary of sorts.”

When Phee had offered to take you all with her, this was the last type of place you expected to end up at. The island was serene and beautiful. The sun was warm and shone brightly, highlighting the greens of the plants and the blues of the ocean. You were immediately filled with a sense of calm as you stepped down the stairs.

Phee gestured to the large building ahead. “That’s the Archium. It’s where the artifact will be stored. It holds treasures from all over the galaxy.”

“My analysis indicates that this so-called artifact you recovered is of very little to no monetary value.” Tech informed from his datapad.

“Treasure can mean many things.” Phee countered. “Most of the villagers on Pabu are refugees. Many of the items I recover are remnants of their cultures, and that’s worth preserving.”

You realised how poorly you’d judged Phee. There was far more to her than you’d realised. You opened your mouth. “Phee, I’m-”

Phee just shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. It’s like I told you in the beginning, I am a liberator-”

“Liberator of ancient wonders.”

You all turned in the direction of the new voice to see a cheery looking man walking over with a young girl you assumed to be his daughter. You watched as he walked over and embraced Phee.

“About time you showed your face around here.”

“Miss me, Shep?” Phee asked with a smile as she stepped back.

“You’ve got some competition.” Wrecker taunted Tech.

You bit back the laugh that threatened to leave you face at the bewildered expression on Tech’s face at Wrecker’s words.

“Auntie Phee!”

Phee knelt down and hugged the young girl.

“What’d you bring this time?” She asked eagerly.

Phee showed her the artifact.

“Looks like one of a kind.”

“Good eye.” Phee complimented.

“That’s not all you brought, I see.” Shep said as he examined the group behind her.

“This is Shep Hazard, Mayor of Pabu, and his daughter, Lyana.” Phee introduced them both as they walked over to you all. “Shep, Lyana, meet, Omega, Hunter, (Y/N), Wrecker and Tech.”

Shep went up to each of you one by one to welcome you.

Lyana walked up shyly to Omega. “Phee’s never brought any friends here before.”

“Never? Not even Cid?”

“Nope.” Phee answered.

“So why bring us?” You asked her.

“Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?”

“She must really like you.” Lyana muttered to Omega.

“Alright. That’s enough out of you.” Phee scolded affectionately.

“Then it’s settled. You’ll join us for dinner.” Shep declared.

“There’s no saying no to Shep’s famous feast. Lots of food, drink and general merrymaking. You two’ll probably hate it.” Phee kidded at you and Tech.

“You’re not helping your case.” You reminded her with a roll of your eyes, but a smile graced your lips.

Phee raised her hands before she half-turned to Shep. “Lead the way, Shep. I’ll catch up.”

You all made to follow Shep, but you couldn’t help but notice Tech linger to look back at Phee and it warmed your heart. You just wished he would clue into the part of his brilliant brain that would realise he and Phee had potential.

“Leave them alone.” Hunter whispered as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder to turn your gaze away and focus on walking behind Shep.

How are you not more invested in this?

“It’s not that I’m not invested but I know my brother, and this is something he needs to take at a very slow pace.”

You conceded the point with a nod. “You’re so good.” You knew he was right. You focused instead on taking in your new surroundings.

--

The more you got to see of Pabu as you walked, the more you loved it. Everything was so pretty and letting Omega run ahead with Lyana felt completely safe, there wasn’t a threat to be found. It felt natural to be here.

“Upper Pabu is the oldest part of the island.” Shep informed you all as you paused to take in the magnificent view of the island and its crystal-clear blue waters. “As we’ve grown over the years, we’ve expanded the wall into Lower Pabu.”

You leaned over the wall to take it all in.

“Hi, Shep!”

“Hi, Mr Eenta. How are Sari and Micha?” Shep replied warmly to the old man that had approached them.

Mr Eenta let out a cheery high-pitched laugh. “They’re doing good. Thanks for asking, Shep. I see we got some newcomers here too. Although we haven’t had some quite as lovely as you join our community in a long time.” He added with a kind smile in your direction.

You smiled in thanks at the man and elbowed Hunter playfully. “Gotta up your game, I might just run off with him.”

“Ha ha.” Hunter replied drily as he drew you into his side and pressed a soft kiss to your hairline.

Mr Eenta laughed at your words. “I best be off but welcome to the island! Feel free to stop by anytime!”

“Nice to see you!” Shep waved him goodbye.

“Uh, do you know everyone here?” Wrecker asked Shep.

“Of course. We’re all like family. Now, if you’ll continue to follow me, I can show you were you and (Y/N) will be staying.” Shep said to Hunter. “I have a place for the rest of you too and Omega can go to either house, but I gather it would be best to show that to you after dinner?”

“Staying?” Hunter repeated.

Shep paused for a moment. “Well, I imagine you two’ll want some privacy before dinner tonight. There’s plenty of time. Unless I’ve read things wrong, or you want to stay as a group-”

“You have read things correctly.” Tech said without looking up from his datapad.

“Tech-” Hunter started.

“Yes, please, take them somewhere far away from us.” Wrecker said in an exaggerated manner.

You punched his arm.

Shep paid little attention to the teasing insinuations. He remembered what it was like to be young and in love. “We’ll pass my home on the way anyway so you can see Omega get settled and join us in an hour or so?”

You and Hunter glanced at one another before Hunter nodded his agreement and you both walked beside Shep trying not to look too eager or walk too quickly.

--

You didn’t remember much about the place you were staying. All that really registered with you was the discarded pieces of armour and weapons by the door and the short route from the doorway to the bedroom. From what you did recall; it was very cosy and homey, but right now your focus was on the fact you were sat across Hunter’s lap at the edge of the bed. Your kisses were slow and deep, there was no residing worry of being interrupted or needing to be rushed and the two of you were perfectly content with not rushing things, both too intoxicated by the feeling of your lips on each other’s skin and the noises leaving your mouths.

“I want to call this in.” You panted against his lips as your fingers traced the red scarf.

Hunter groaned as he felt you grind against him. “But I-”

“I want to call this in.” You repeated seductively as you lifted it over his head and pulled back to look into his eyes. “Please.” You murmured as you pressed delicate kisses along his jaw.

“Let me see you come undone first.” He rasped as his fingers twisted in your clothing to keep him grounded.

You were confused for a moment.

“Just like this.” He emphasised as he took a hold of your hips and moved you against him once more, relishing the soft sigh that left your throat. “Do this for me and then you can have your way.” He negotiated with a kiss behind your ear.

You nodded before you placed the scarf on the bed and threaded your fingers in his hair. Your lips met his once more and as you moved your hips with more purpose, your kisses grew more desperate as each of you swallowed the moans that left your lips at the sensations happening right now. With his help, you were able to find the angle that had your breathing and heartbeat quickening and your grip on his shoulders tightened, your fingers coiled in his clothing.

“Hunter-” You said through a gasp as that familiar feeling started to rise in your body.

“Let it happen.” He encouraged as he kissed you again and gently bit down on your lip.

You finished with a groan and your head fell into the crook of his shoulder as you caught your breath.

“Did so well for me.” Hunter whispered as he stroked your back.

You sucked a small mark in his neck as you got your bearings back. You sat up properly and maintained eye contact with his as you let your hand trail down his chest. Your hand found the edges of his shirt.

Hunter lifted his arms up and let you pull the item of clothing over his head. He then reached for your top layer and delicately pulled it off you.

That process continued until you were both out of your clothes and lying on the double bed. It certainly made a change to the bunk on the Marauder, there was room to move without feeling constricted and it was far more comfortable too.

You stopped kissing him for a moment and instead focused your ministrations on the skin of neck, your teeth scraping slightly against his skin, whilst you reached beside you and brought the scarf into view. You looked down at Hunter who- amidst the rough breaths that left his throat- nodded his consent. You moved off his lap and sat back on your heels and motioned for him to sit up.

Hunter did as you requested, and he felt you bring his wrists behind his back, and he felt the soft fabric against his skin. He tested the knot and found it to be secure enough that he had no chance of getting out unaided, but it was not uncomfortable.

You pushed him back down and straddled his lap again. “Okay?” You asked as you stroked a finger down his tattooed cheek. “You just tell me when to stop.”

Hunter was enraptured by the sight of you above him and so could only manage to nod once more.

You smiled lovingly down at him before you kissed him once more, this time more teasing, leaving him chasing your lips as you parted from him too soon.

You kissed your way down his chest, paying attention to every nick and scar that was on his skin. You loved every part of him every time.

You delighted in every gruff and depraved moan that left his lips. How you loved it when he got the chance to switch off like this.

And you could take your time.

As your mouth wrapped around him, his fingers had a deathlike grip on the sheets since that was the only thing he could do with his hands behind his back like this.

Fuck, you were good. You knew just what to do to drive him crazy. You took him so well every time. The slight hum of pleasure told him he’d voiced that last thought outload. His head pressed even further into the pillows.

The sounds he was making were so divine, you just couldn’t help yourself.

Upon hearing the small moan from you, he risked glancing down and regretted it immediately. Your hand was between your legs and a noise that was scarcely recognisable- it sounded like a wrecked whimper- left his mouth.

You paused what you were doing upon hearing him. You bit your lip as you saw the ruined expression on his face. You removed your hand and held your fingers up to his mouth but when he lifted his head, you drew them away at the last second and put them in your mouth and groaned alluringly. You didn’t give him long to cope with that before you went back to him.

He released a pained breath at the sight. He needed to touch you. To taste you. To feel you. It had been too long, and he wasn’t about to let it be over like this. “St- stop.” He managed to get out.

You did as he requested and angled your eyes up to him.

Hunter very nearly lost it at the sight of you tidying up your mouth and the playful smirk that graced your face. “Untie me.” He said as his chest heaved.

You crawled your way back up and kept your eyes focused on him. You gave him enough room to get vertical enough for you to reach behind him and undo the knot.

He rolled so that you were beneath him now and he kissed you passionately whilst his hand slid down your body.

Your eyes fluttered closed and your hips bucked into his touch and a quiet groan fell from your lips as his fingers curled and pleasure shot through your core.

He noticed you were holding back. It was something you were both used to. Fear of being suddenly interrupted or accidentally overheard was a constant in moments like this but that wasn’t the case here. Here, you could let go. And fuck did he want you to let go. “I want to hear you.” He uttered against your lips as he started to move down your body, leaving bruises on your neck as he did so. “Let me hear you, sweetheart.” He all but begged as he sped his fingers up.

That was all the permission you needed. An unrestricted moan left your lips as your body tingled and you let the waves of pleasure wash through your body.

Hunter worked you through it and once you had come back down, he left a path of kisses down your body, biting and sucking as he went, to do what he’d been wanting to since the possibility of being alone had become an option. He kept a steady grip of your hips as they jolted under his touch.

He didn’t need to rush this. He would get to take you apart in the way he always dreamed of. He could take his time. Learn knew things about your body he hadn’t had the pleasure of discovering yet, life on the road with missions every other day made these occasions a far more hurried event than either of you would’ve like. But here, he didn’t have that worry and if he wasn’t addicted to you before, he most definitely was now. The noises you were making were beautiful and it had been too long since he’d had you like this, and he was reminded of how much he missed it. He moaned appreciatively at the feeling of your hands tangling in his hair as he took what he wanted from you.

Your limbs felt limp and heavy, and your breathing was laboured but you didn’t want to be done yet. “Hunter, I need you.”

“One more. Give me one more.” He breathed against you before he continued with what he’d previously been doing.

“I can’t. Just-”

“Yes, you can, sweetheart.” He urged as he focused on the spot that he knew would get you there again.

A hoarse cry left your throat as he sent you over the edge once more. You were pretty sure there were stars dancing across the ceiling right now.

Hunter let you catch your breath and just revelled in the sight of your dishevelled state. His lips traced your stomach as he worked his way back up to you.

You clawed at his back to bring him down closer to you. Fuck, he was gorgeous. His eyes were dark, and his bandana was slightly askew. “I need you.” You whispered again as you cradled the side of his jaw.

He was now all too happy to oblige.

Your hands tightly intertwined- with the backs of yours being pushed into the pillow by your head- as he moved into you, both of your breaths hitching at the sensation.

Every time you were reminded of how perfectly you fit together both here and out there. Everything just felt so right.

Hunter paused for a moment, and he lifted a hand to brush a small strand also to give himself a chance to breath.

You knew he’d held back long enough. You pressed your lips into his palm before you placed a featherlight kiss to his lips. “Come with me.” You murmured against his mouth.

Hunter nodded and started to move again, and he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer and judging by the way he could feel you tightening around him, you weren’t either.

It wasn’t long before a broken cry left your mouth, and it was the sight of you catching the necklace you’d gifted him in his teeth that finished him. He released a gutteral groan as he collapsed on top of you and breathed a relaxed sigh as you weaved your fingers through his hair. “I love you.” He uttered quietly into your neck. “Always.”

“I love you too.” You replied tenderly. “Always.”

He reluctantly pulled out and laid down next to you and wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close. There was still time before you needed to go to Shep’s so the peace and quiet could be enjoyed a little while longer.

After a few minutes of you both just taking the time to stay close to each other and regroup, you huffed out a short breath at the realisation there was still the dinner to attend to.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can barely feel my legs lying here. How am I supposed to get up and shower and then walk back up some of that hill?”

Hunter let out a low chuckle. “Whilst I take that as a compliment, I’m sure your Jedi training had you overcoming worst challenges that this.”

You heaved a sigh and turned on your back and sent an affectionate glare in his direction. “Yes, but that doesn’t stop things from feeling so far away right now.”

Hunter merely hummed and pressed a quick kiss to your lips before moving down your body.

You propped yourself up on your elbows. “What are you doing?”

“Cleaning up.” He crooned as he settled between your thighs once more.

Your head fell back against the pillows. “You heard me- heard me say shower, right?” You protested as he left tender nips to the inside of your thighs.

“You said that you can’t move to go shower.” He countered as he slowly moved his lips towards the apex of your thighs. “I’m solving half the problem.”

“This- this won’t help me stand up.” You attempted to sound strong, but you were not about to stop him.

“I know. I’m solving the other half of the problem first.”

--

Now properly freshened up and decent once again, you and Hunter arrived at Shep’s home to see the others happily socialising and enjoying their time.

“Hey, lovebirds!” Phee greeted with a knowing grin as you both walked in.

You simply smiled and turned your attention to Shep instead. “The place is great, Shep, thank you. Do you need any help?” You asked as he emerged from his house.

“No, we’re almost ready. Just make yourselves at home!”

You and Hunter joined the others in taking in the breath-taking view, but that sight was interrupted by the chittering of a monkey-like creature that had scaled down one of the poles.

One jumped on your shoulder before more joined and a small group of them gathered by the table.

Omega knelt down to get a closer look at them.

“They’re called moon-yos.” Lyana explained. “The elders say they’ve lived here since before Pabu was inhabited.” She welcomed one of them onto her back.

Omega chuckled happily as that same one moved from Lyana onto her shoulder.

You watched on fondly. Everything here was so carefree and easy. You couldn’t remember the last time she’d really been allowed to be a kid like this.

“I have not heard her laugh like that in some time.” Tech observed.

As soon as he’d said that you started to think about how long it had been and the very fact you couldn’t remember told it had been far too long. As Omega and Lyana followed the moon-yos over to the wall by the gate, you and Hunter approached Shep as he brought a dish out for the table.

“Phee said the villagers here are refugees.” Hunter said.

“Many, yes.” Shep replied. “Pabu has been a safe haven for those forced to flee their homes during the war and others after.”

“And you’re not worried the Empire will show up?” You asked.

“Why would they? We’re a remote island with limited resources. But if they do, we’ll manage.”

You and Hunter both glanced over to where Omega was playing with one of the moon-yos.

Shep noticed this and placed a hand on both of your shoulders. “Some come to Pabu looking for a clean slate. A chance to start over. As a parent, you couldn’t ask for a better place to raise a child.”

You were pretty sure you didn’t do a great job at concealing the taken aback expression on your face. You had clocked Hunter’s paternal instinct right from when he’d first met Omega, but hearing Shep put you in that same category with him was something that had never really occurred to you.

Shep gave you both a supportive smile before he made his way back inside.

Before either of you could speak, Omega came over.

“(Y/N)! Can you come do that thing you do with the moon-yos?” Omega grabbed your hand and started to drag you over to the troupe of creatures.

“If you can think of a believable reason why they’re suddenly even friendlier than usual.” You said with a raise of your eyebrows.

“You’re gifted at bonding with animals.” She replied simply. “Please?”

“Okay, okay.” You said with a laugh, and you let her pull you over. You took notice of the fact that you were not worried about pretences here, even a reason as broad as the one Omega was providing felt secure enough.

Hunter watched you go and felt Phee approach his side.

“Something to think about, isn’t it?”

“You’re suggesting we all stay on Pabu permanently?”

They both followed the sounds of laughter to see you now with two moon-yos on your shoulders and the others were crawling all over Lyana and Omega.

“Omega seems to like it here and this is the most relaxed I’ve seen your girl. A little stability might do you all some good.”

You half turned and caught Hunter’s gaze. You left the girls to it and walked over to him.

“You made some friends.” Phee said with a nod to the animals on your back.

“Wasn’t that hard.” You said with a grin as you internally told on of them to go onto Hunter’s shoulder. You chuckled at the sight.

Hunter let the creature crawl over him for a few seconds before he passed it back to you. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

You nodded before you scratched each on the side of their faces. Okay, go back to the kids. You let them jump down and they ran back over to Lyana and Omega.

The two of you went back over to the wall where you wouldn’t be overheard by the others.

You leaned your head against Hunter’s shoulder and breathed in the clean sea air and admired the stunning view over the wall. Pabu was growing on you rather rapidly.

“Can we have this?” Hunter said quietly to you. He wasn’t sure how he felt about being here. He wasn’t used to feeling so calm, so at peace. He kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. There were people out there who were continuing the fight like Echo and Rex. Was feeling this way allowed? Was having a place to leave the chaos of the galaxy behind on the cards for him? For all of you?

You lifted your head to face him. You understood what he meant. Feeling this content was a foreign concept but it didn’t need to be. “You have been looking after this family for a long time. You’ve done so much for the galaxy already and our circumstances have changed ever since Omega became a part of our lives. I think the chance to create something, to have a place to come back to that is safe and offers the chance to settle down is perfectly okay.”

Hunter got ready to reply but was interrupted by Shep’s voice.

“Food’s ready!” Shep announced as he brought the final dish out.

You and Hunter turned to see the others moving to the table and you bit back the laugh that threatened to appear at the fact that Wrecker seemed to be the most excited out of everyone. We can talk more about this later, for now, let’s just enjoy tonight. You took his hand and you both made your way to the table.

--

Phee had not been exaggerating about Shep’s dining experience. The drinks continued to flow, and you had eaten so much food you could barely sit up straight which is why you were grateful for the man next to you who let you slouch against him whilst he kept an innocent hand on your thigh.

“You have your own boat?” Omega asked excitedly.

“Uh-huh. You wanna take it out and watch the sunset?” Lyana offered.

“Really?” Omega gasped.

“That sounds like a great idea, doesn’t it?” Phee said with a look at you and Hunter.

“Can I go?” Omega asked Hunter eagerly.

Hunter glanced down at you to see you nod before he looked back to Omega. “Have fun.” He granted his permission sincerely and was happy to see her go somewhere looking so thrilled.

Oh, my goodness, you smiled.

“I smile all the time.” He protested down at you.

“No, you smile with your mouth. It rarely reaches your eyes because there’s too much worry behind them. That, was a proper smile.” You said with a small kiss to the corner of his mouth. A groan from beside you got your attention and you saw Wrecker rubbing his stomach. “What’s with you?”

“I’m full. I am never full.”

“Feels good right.” You said with an understanding nod as you were now able to sit back up.

“I will note the date and time to commemorate such a momentous occasion.” Tech added as he brought out his datapad.

You huffed out a laugh at Tech’s antics and at the look on Wrecker’s face as he got distracted by a platter that Shep had just brought out.

“Hope you saved room for dessert.” Shep said as he lifted the lid to unveil a platter of delicious looking fruit.

“I love this place!” Wrecker yelled happily.

--

“It’s almost time.” Phee said.

“For what?” Tech asked without turning his sight away from the screen in front of him.

“See for yourself.” Phee stood and beckoned for him to follow her over to the wall.

Tech looked over the wall but saw nothing different. “I am not seeing anything.”

Phee rested a hand on his arm. “Just wait. It’ll be worth it.”

Tech did as she said and watched as the sun went down and all the lights surrounding the island lit up the homes all at once.

“Pretty spectacular, right?” Phee said.

Tech found himself not wholly understanding the significance, but he also didn’t want to anger or disappoint her in his reaction either. “I suppose that is one way to quantify it.”

“You’re scheming.” Hunter whispered into your temple as he saw the way you were studying the pair.

You made no move to deny it. “What if I just…” You trailed off and mimed using the Force to make Phee fall into him.

“No.”

“But-”

“No.” Hunter repeated again with a loving kiss to the crown of your head.

“Do you remember what they did to us? We were locked in a storage closest for 3 hours one time!”

“Yes, but Tech is Tech. He’ll get there on his own… eventually.”

“What are you two talking about?” Wrecker asked as he finished the last piece of fruit.

You just pointed over to Tech and Phee.

“Ooohhh right. Yeah, we won’t be much help. He’s just gotta use that brain of his to figure it out.”

“Men are hopeless.” You muttered with a sigh before you stood up and wandered over to where you animal friends were.

--

You weren’t there for very long before you started to sense their unease but to your eyes nothing was wrong. You let them run off but before you could raise any sort of alarm, you noticed the look on Hunter’s face as he braced his hands against the wall. “What’s wrong?” You asked as you jogged over to where he, Phee and Tech were now standing.

“Something’s coming. We need to-” He didn’t get to finish his thought for an aggressive rumble ran underneath the island, leaving you all unsteady on your feet.  Luckily, it didn’t last long but he was sure that wouldn’t be the last one. He reached for his comm. “Omega, come in. Are you two okay?”

“We’re fine. We’re headed back to shore now.” Came her reply.

“Everyone alright?” Shep shouted down to the rest of the island.

“Well, that was different.” Wrecker commented as he got to his feet.

“Uh, a small tremor. It’s nothing to worry about. Part of island life.” Shep explained.

“I don’t think it’s over yet.” Hunter warned and sure enough another, more violent tremor occurred, leaving cracks in some of the buildings. “That was not a small tremor.”

 “No, it was not.” Shep said fretfully.

Tech analysed his datapad. “Hunter, I believe this island is at risk for a significant sea surge.”

“How much risk?” He asked.

“Highly probable to imminent.”

“We haven’t had a sea surge in more than three decades. If we were at risk, the early warning system would’ve activated. And-” Shep was cut off by the blaring of a siren.

“And I take it that’s the system?” You asked with a grimace.

Tech took the macrobinoculars that Shep passed him. “The water has already begun receding.” Tech stated as he stared through the lenses. “We must evacuate all of Lower Pabu.”

You caught Hunter’s arm in a panic. “Hunter, Lyana and Omega-”

“I know. I’ll grab our ship and get them. You five, move everyone in town to higher ground.” Hunter ordered.

You nodded before you all parted and got to work.

--

It was mayhem.

Everyone was screaming and stampeding to get to higher ground which meant they were paying little attention to the safety of those around them.

“Knock on every door. Check every home.” Shep told the four of you before you split up.

--

Tech and Phee had ensured their area was clear and they were now making for the higher ground, but the crowds were overwhelming, it wasn’t going to work this way.

“There are too many trying to get through at once. They will not make it before the surge hits. We must use additional means to get them over the wall.” Tech said hurriedly.

“We can deploy the rescue ladders.” Phee replied.

“Where?”

“They line the top of each wall.” She pointed up to where she was talking about, and they both ran to get closer to the side of the wall.

Tech aimed his grappling hook and once he felt it catch, he signalled to Phee to come closer to him. “Hang on!” He took a secure hold of her waist and scaled the wall.

“You take those ladders. I’ll handle these.” Phee directed.

Tech tried to release the ladders, but they wouldn’t budge. “The mechanisms are rusted through. We will need to manually unfurl them.”

Phee was able to use her blade to get her ladder free. “This way!” She called down to the people below.

Tech was also able to launch his and he and Phee kept an eye on them as they climbed to safety.

--

The siren continued to bellow around the island, a daunting reminder of how little time was left. You rounded the corner to see Mr. Eenta just sitting outside his house. “Wrecker, Shep! Over here!” You ran over to the old man. You kneeled next to his chair and spoke as calmly as you could manage. “Hey, Mr. Eenta, remember me?”

“Hmm? Oh yes, you’re the lovely lady who Shep brought over. Can I get you something?”

“Maybe later, but we gotta get out of here first.” You stepped aside to let Wrecker pick him up.

“Huh? Why? What’s going on?”

“Everything will be fine, Mr. Eenta.” Shep reassured him as the four of you set off for the high ground.

--

Your pace faltered behind Shep and Wrecker as you were sure the house you just passed had someone crying in it. You worked your way back and as you peered through the window; you caught side of a young Rodian child, she had to be not much older than six, frozen to the spot in the corner of the room and it looked like some kind of dresser or shelf had fallen in front of the door. You looked ahead to see that the other three were too far ahead to call back and they had Mr. Eenta so you needed them to be safe. The siren sounded again but you couldn’t move. You had time… you had to have time. “Hold on, I’m going to get you out of there.” You called through the window before you made your way to the door.

You tried kicking it down and barging into it, but it would not budge. Fuck it. You called on the Force and you were able to successfully push the door open.

You stepped over the shelf and other loose belongings and carefully made your way over to her. You took a knee in front of her. You knew if you appeared nervous or panicked then you weren’t going to get anywhere. “Hi there, little one. My name is (Y/N), do you have someone looking after you?”

She gave you nothing. She just stood there shaking as the siren continued to blare.

“Okay, it’s okay.” You cleared your throat and tried again. “Do you have a father? A mother?” You were sure you saw her head perk up slightly at that word.

“Mother?” You double checked and saw her nod again. “Okay, that’s good.” You reached your hand out to her. “How about we go find her? I can help you. Does that sound alright?”

You breathed deeply as she cautiously took your hand. “There we go. Let’s get outta here, alright?” You helped her over the debris and once you cleared the house, you picked her up and started running.

--

You could hear the wave now. You reached the bottom of the ladder and altered her position, so she was now on your back. “Hold on.” You scaled the ladder quickly and handed her over to someone waiting at the top, the sound of the wave getting closer by the second and you could feel the cold spray nipping at your heels. You were halfway over the wall when you felt part of the wave crash into your back, toppling you over the rest of the way.

You laid on the grounded, winded, before you felt a light tapping on your shoulder. You opened your eyes to see the kid staring worriedly at you.

“I’m good.” You panted as she peered at you. You straightened up and got some more air into your lungs and took her hand once more. “Let’s go fine your mother.”

--

You squeezed the young girl’s hand. “Hey kid, I think we’ve found her.” You jutted your head over in the direction of the distressed female Rodian anxiously scanning the crowds of people. Your suspicions were proved correct by the delighted squeal the child emitted at the sight. “On you go.” You nudged her gently in front of you and kept a careful eye on her as she ran up to her mother.  When you saw her get picked up and held tightly, you knew your job here was done. As the young girl pointed at you, you waved goodbye, but you saw that her mother was walking over to you, so you stayed where you were.

“I went out for a few seconds but then the tremors happened, and I got caught up in the crowd- I tried to work my way back but- but there were too many people, and I couldn’t! I wasn’t sure- oh I thought I’d never see her again!” She cried tearfully as she buried her face into her daughter’s neck as she held her close.

You rested a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay. You’re both safe now. That’s all that matters.”

“Thank you, thank you so much.”

You nodded your head in acknowledgement before you got to work on finding your own family.

--

“Wrecker, where’s (Y/N)?” Hunter asked urgently as he noticed everyone was there but you.

Wrecker looked around him. “She was right behind us when Shep and I knew everything was all clear.”

“She was with you as you got to safety?”

“Well- um- I can’t exactly remember.” Wrecker stammered.

“She probably just got caught up in the crowd.” Shep offered as he placed Lyana back down.

“Yeah, she’s going to be fine.” Phee added.

Their words didn’t mean much. He needed to know that you were fine. “We need to-”

“Turn around and breathe.”

A deep sigh of relief left his lungs as he heard your voice. “You’re okay?” Hunter asked as he turned to face you.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Are you all okay?” You addressed the wider group who all nodded and parted to give you some privacy.

“Where were you?” Hunter asked.

“You’re not the only one who can save a kid every now and then.” You said brightly as you hugged Omega before she went off to join the others.

“You’re wet.” Hunter noticed as he embraced you.

“Gee, save that for later, sir.” You kidded.

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“The wave caught some of my back, but I’m fine.” You explained.

Hunter pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “Exactly how close did you come to getting smashed off the walls of Pabu?”

“Best not think about it.” You said airily before you regrouped with the others.

--

The sunrise did little to lighten the spirits of Pabu’s civilians. They’d lost their homes, the best you could do was offer your sympathies and supplies to people.

“I’m sorry, Shep.” You said kindly as you came to stand next to him and Hunter as they both stared at the destruction below.

“We got everyone out in time. That’s what’s important.” Shep responded.

“Based on my estimations, it will take several rotations to rebuild the damage sustained in Lower Pabu.” Tech revealed as he and Phee joined the three of you.

“Yes.” Shep said with a dejected sigh. “Property was destroyed but my people are resilient. We’ll band together and rebuild.”

“I was thinking.” Hunter began hesitantly. “We could stay and help out with things.”

“I had the same idea.” Tech concurred.

“Did you now?” Phee teased.

You threaded an arm around Hunter’s waist and subtly nudged him as you saw the smile Tech offered Phee at her words. He merely squeezed your side in acknowledgement.

“That is, if you don’t mind us sticking around for a while.” You added as you looked to Shep.

Shep chuckled softly. “You would be most welcome.”

The group of you set back towards the crowds of people and, for once in your life, you had a good feeling about this.

Next Chapter>

Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @fuckoffthanos, @tpwkcalli, @graciexmarvel, @arctrooper69, @nightmonkeysstuff, @brujaporfavor, @flyingkangaroo, @sunkissedclones, @ladytano420, @keep-calm-and-drink-caf, @yyourmotherr, @xxeiraxx, @dragonrider9905, @starwarsnerd111, @skellymom

[dinsdjrn]

everything i wanted | j. miller | 2.8k

track one | track two | masterlist

bodyguard!AU

AU!Joel x singer!f!reader

summary: it's not what i meant when i said i wanted to be seen. a scary note, a long day, and a security detail.

tags for the series: 18+, minors DNI, angst/fluff/eventual smut, sarah's dead (plot), ellie is alive, parental manipulation/abuse (maternal), depression, drug and alcohol use, sobriety, stalker behaviour from a fan, will update as i go, this ones gonna get dark but it will have the happy feel good too! as always if anything is missing tell me and i will add it!

a/n: another wip that im pumped about, and guess what i have already written pt 2.. so thats coming. this is intro it really picks up next chapter xoxo.

track one - to be seen

It was a cool winter night in LA, or well as cool as LA gets. You had just arrived back at the house you rented in LA when you were in the studio. It had been a pretty typical day for you, your album had just been released and you were doing loads of press. You were also attempting to write and produce a deluxe edition of your most recent studio album. The resounding success of your first album catapulted you into fame overnight. 

This second album was much more by the book, trimmed and produced as if to make you a working dog eager to please those who owned your success. You felt it was missing the grit of your first album. You hoped with the release of a deluxe edition you’d be able to bring that grit back in, take back control of your sound. The only issue being you had to write the songs to be able to produce them. 

You were so excited to just collapse into bed, it had been a long day doing both a morning talkshow and late night TV. You reminded yourself that this was your dream for so long and it was finally happening. Two be grateful for the love and support. That your fans cared about you and the songs you made. 

‘They started your career, and if you don’t work for them they’ll end it.’ you could hear your mother in your head. So you turned your exhaustion into gratefulness. Long days meant a long career ahead. 

As you unlocked the door to your house a small envelope fell from the crack of the door to your feet. 

Probably just a flyer. You thought to yourself. 

You picked it up and made your way into the modern home. The kitchen was clean and a bit too sterile for your liking. You missed home, your friends, your dad, playing gigs at bars and comedy shows. This life was overwhelming, it felt like a tornado scooped you up and placed you in LA, New York, or London. Your heart was both so full and so empty all at once. 

You opened the envelope with your finger and pulled out a small piece of paper. 

And just like that, your chest went tight, phone falling to the tile floor and the world stopped moving.

‘I’ve found you, and I’m never letting you go. You’re going to be mine forever. Love always, B.’

The next twelve hours were a whirlwind, it was a blur. Going from your house to you managers, and now back to Golden Record headquarters at a bright and early 4am. You sat in meetings for hours, where people would talk about you as if you weren’t there. By ten in the morning it was decided that the letter was a threat and you needed a new apartment and a permanent body guard. By eleven, a firm had been hired and a detail was on the way.  By noon you were being shuffled away to a new apartment with a large broody man who was referred to as Miller. 

You had never felt so tired in your life, being awake going on twenty eight hours now and coming down from a hit of adrenaline had really taken all you had left to give. You sunk into the leather seats of the large black SUV and let out a large sigh clenching your fists and closing your eyes. 

You glanced over taking in the man who was assigned to be your detail for the next three days. Three days on, rotating between Miller and Jones they said, two private details until they decided there was no threat to your life. 

Miller, first name unknown, was quite handsome. He had thick brown hair and soft waves, he was wearing all black t-shirt and jeans that fit is form extremely well. He was toned. But not to the point of being “chiseled”, his jaw was square and there was a seriousness to him. It made him look threatening even. He pulled out his phone briefly as the car started moving and you could see his jaw tighten at whatever message he had received. 

“So is Miller what I am supposed to call you? Or Is there a first name that goes along with it?” You asked through a yawn. 

“Joel Miller,” He said quickly, not even glancing in your direction. 

“Well it’s nice to meet you, Joel.” You said. An awkward silent fell between you, you shifted in your seat. 

As if by grace of the gods, your phone began ringing loudly. 

Joel glanced to see if there was caller ID, it was just your mother. A conversation you’re sure couldn’t be delayed, but you dreaded it none the less. 

“Hey mom,” you sighed.

“Why did I have call you?!” She started. “You’d think that when something like this happens I’d find out from my OWN daughter, not her manager telling me she won’t be recording today!” 

You just put her on speaker and let her berate you for not telling her, you scrolled through twitter wondering how your interviews were being received. 

“Are you even listening to me?! You don’t have anything to say for yourself?!” She dramatized. 

“Mom, I’m really sorry. Everything happened so fast and I was in meetings all night. I was about to call y-“ 

“I don’t want to hear excuses, this is stupid. You’re being dramatic, if you had thought this through you could have recorded today.” 

“I know, I’m sorry,” you droned. 

It wasn’t an uncommon track to play, you get blamed for something out of your control and you apologize for something that wasn’t your fault. 

“I didn’t have a whole ton of material today anyway. I’ll make sure we do double time tomorrow and I was going to write this afternoon,” you said hoping you were reaching the end of the conversation. 

“Good, you’re not popular enough to slack off. One popular song isn’t the promise of a career,” She said in a matter of fact tone. 

“I know, I’ll keep working on it,” you pinched the bridge of your nose. 

Joel had been so quiet next to you, not seeming interested at all in the conversation at hand. For the best, every time you spoke with your mother, she took a small piece of your soul with her. Breaking you down into the perfect little star, nothing left of who you once were.

“Great! Make sure you don’t waste the potential of this! Crisis’ creates hits! Alright my love, Jan and I are meeting for breakfast on Fifth so I have to go! Next time you’re in New York we’ll catch up” 

“Yeah, talk so-,” the call ended before you could finish your sentence. 

At least she was happy, and you needed to lay down for the foreseeable future. You rubbed your temple and sighed, you just wanted to curl up and cry until there wasn’t anything left. 

As soon as you arrived at the new apartment you noticed your clothes packed neatly away for you, it comforted you knowing you wouldn’t have to go back to the house. You laid down fully clothed on your bed, finally alone for the first time in twenty-nine hours, and you let yourself cry. 

By the time you had woken up it was nearly dark out, the sun had made its descent past the Los Angeles skyline and all that was left were the warm oranges and reds of the evening. 

You were still tired but needed to get up, eat and do a bit of work. You grabbed your phone to check the time, 7:31. You noticed a few missed texts from your dad back home, your manager, and saw a headline on twitter about a police presence at your house. 

You swiped away the twitter notifications not wanting to be reminded what a nightmare the last day was. You opened the text conversation with your dad, certain he just wanted to check in. 

Hey Kiddo, hope you’re doing okay? Mom called, here for you. 

No surprise there, they divorced as soon as you had moved out for good, but she would always call to prove a point. To let him know that she knew something before he did. 

Hi Dad, I’m ok, uneasy but ok. Talk soon :)

Your manager had texted you the phone number of both security details and the company they worked for just incase something were to go awry. 

You made your way to the living room, Joel was there sitting at the island on his phone. You made your way to the fridge not surprised to find it empty. You sighed pulling out your phone to order delivery. 

“You hungry?” You asked him. 

“Huh?” He looked confused. You noticed he had put his phone away and was standing again. 

“I’m gonna order some Thai food, do you want me to grab you something?” You explained. 

“Oh, uh, that’s alright, thank you though.”

You noted he had a slight southern accent. 

“Well there’s no food here so…” you trailed. 

“Well just grab whatever and I’ll eat some of it,” you nodded in return.

It didn’t take long for your food to arrive, you and Joel both grabbed a plate and ate in silence. You hated every second of it. You’re not sure he felt it though, the uncomfortable silence between you. 

After eating you grabbed your headphones and made your was to the living room. You had to have something to show for yourself in the studio tomorrow. You could tell there was frustration around your deluxe edition, you had recorded and scrapped three songs this week alone. 

Just as you were grabbing your guitar your phone started ringing on the table. 

James 

You answered immediately. 

“James! What’s up?” You were excited to hear from your best friend. 

“Hey girl! Some crazy shit going down this morning?” He asked. 

“Something like that,” you sighed, giving him just a few details of the past day.

“Well, I’m here if you need me. I did have a question though?” 

“What’s up?” 

“How would you like to come out with some friends tomorrow? We have a table at new bar and it might be fun, take some stress off!”

“I-,” you started, being cut off immediately. 

“Before you shut me down you only have to come for like ONE drink,” He said emphasizing the ‘one’.

You sighed, “Fine. ONE drink. Text me the details and I’ll run it past my security team.” 

“Fancy ass security team. Are they at least hot?” 

You scoffed. 

“So they’re super hot,” he made it sound like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Okay, I’m hanging up now. Love you, bye!” You said ending the call before any more words could be exchanged. 

You phone buzzed immediately. It was James. 

Lucky bitch! Send a picture ;) here’s the details for tomorrow xo.

[attachment: 1 image] 

A screenshot with the details. You loved the message and left it at that. 

“So what are you running past your security team?” Joel inquired, your head snapped in his direction. 

“Drinks with a friend tomorrow, at an exclusive restaurant.” You showed him the screenshot. 

“I don’t think that’s a great idea,” He sounded unsure. 

“I’m not really asking; I mean I am, but if there’s even a slight chance I’d like to go.” 

Joel sighed and scratched his temple, “Alright.” 

“Great, you can stay here if you want. I don’t think going out with a large group requires this level of security.” You pushed to see what the answer would be. 

“Do you have any concern for your own safety?” He scoffed toward you. 

“It was an empty threat, Miller. Look I can appreciate everyones concern for my safety, but this is hardly the worst thing anyones said to me.” Your annoyance was no longer easily masked. 

He inhaled sharply at your remark as if it surprised him.

“Yeah, but most of the time the things people say aren’t in an envelope on your door.” 

You just sighed in return. 

“Alright well, then you come with me. No use getting up in arms about it.”

The dark and broody man crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the counter. Somehow it made him look exceptionally powerful. The muscles in his arms moved and shifted showing how well defined they were, he had a few tattoos that peaked out from below his t-shirt sleeve. You had realized your were staring and quickly turned to look down at your notebook, Joel still in your peripheral.  

“So is there any reason you took this job, Joel Miller?” You asked as you reached for your guitar again, finally starting on a song. You had a soft tune stuck in your head since your meeting with the security team earlier that day that you had to put to chords. 

“I don’t think knowing about my personal life is keeping you any safer,” he grumbled. 

“Maybe not safer, but more comfortable with my situation perhaps.” You continued to hum the same tune over again. Scribbling lyrics into your notebook. 

Not what I meant when I said that, I wanted to be seen. 

“Well, Miller? Why private security?” You pressed. 

“My uh- my kid. It is just her and I, the gig pays well and I’ve been told I look like an attack dog before.” 

That made you laugh. 

“Whoever said that, I whole heartedly agree,” you smiled at him. 

“I’ll do it if I have to,” you hummed, “hope and dun na in between.”

Quickly jotting down the first part of that lyric, hoping the second half would just come to you. 

“So, this kid, tell me about them?” You asked strumming some barre chords. 

“No.”

“Oh come on! Her name? Her age? Anything?”

“Have you ever been told you’re too friendly? That you pry?” He scoffed. 

“Most people don’t seem to have problems with it funny enough,” you quipped. 

“Ellie, she’s fourteen,” he hesitated, “she like jokes, the outdoors and playing guitar.” 

He was very grumbly and reluctant. You could help but smile at the fact at at least today he would talk to you. 

“Well if she’s any good you should bring her to the studio! Maybe she can help me get out of my slump,” you chuckled smiling at him. 

For a moment his face softened and he smiled lightly at you. It sent a chill down your spine, he was handsome when he was hard and cold. But that moment of softness made your stomach do backflips. You quickly looked back down. 

“Dun dun little empire and made a mm mm mess,” you jotted that down. 

“She’d uh love that you know. Thanks,” Joel interrupted momentarily. 

You smiled and nodded for at him. He didn’t say anything else after that leaving you to record little voice notes here and there.

You got on a bit of a roll writing this song. It had finally sparked something exciting in you. Maybe writing something your mom would detest was what you needed to do more often. She only ever wanted a breakup ballad or an upbeat song. The songs that you loved most though were the ones that pulled from your soul, explained the pressure you were under. They were the flowers that bloomed in your darkest parts, picking them and presenting them hoping someone would understand you. 

As you worked Joel sat on the stool on his phone, or worked away on his laptop you’re sure filling out reports for the day. You couldn’t help but stare as he worked. It made your song writing take exponentially longer, but he was just mesmerizing. You’d never felt a pull like this to anyone. Maybe it was his mysterious demeanour or his unparalleled looks or even the sense that he was a bit dangerous. Any way about it he was off limits.

You knew everything in your head was off limits, but fantasies weren’t going to hurt anyone. Joel Miller was devilishly sharp and handsome, and you were going to be spending a lot of time together in the coming weeks. 

By the time midnight rolled around again you had the bones of a song and a headache to match. You yawned and stretches your back, it ached from being hunched over your notebook. 

“Right, well, I think it’s time for me to go to bed, Joel.” You closed your book and stood up. 

“Alright, have a good sleep. If you need anything, I’m just down the hall in the security room.”

You nodded taking him in one more time, his salt and pepper hair, tight fitting t-shirt and chiseled jaw sent you into a frenzy. 

“Anything else y’a need?” He looked at you confused. 

“Oh, uh no, goodnight!” You turned on your heels embarrassment flooded your system. 

This was a bad crush, but when he looked at you it was electric. No matter what you felt when he looked at you, you’re sure it was one sided. Your fantasies had to stay just as they were, no matter what.

track two

tags: @joelsversion @tightjeansjavi @pedgeitopascalreads @wand-erer5 @orcasoul @quality-lust @bearsbeetsbeskar (once again new fic new tag list, if you'd like to be added lmk, if you want to be tagged in everything i post just lmk, i don't wanna tag anyone who doesnt want it 🥺❤️)

[stvharrngton]

Hi! So context for the request… I started new job at the end of last year and generally I love it but the past two months have been incredibly stressful and then last week we were understaffed, had an internal review and I was left to do the job of three people and not a single supervisor has thanked me for holding down the fort that day AND making lunch AND cleaning it up. And I’m feeling very under appreciated, like to the point where I feel like im no good at my job or even liked. So to the ask, how would steve handle a significant other who is feeling this way and is shutting down about it? I’d be really grateful if you could right something around this bc I just need my comfort character to hold me rn ….

hi my love! i’m so sorry to hear that about your job that sucks so much :( i really hope you enjoy this and it makes you feel a lil better 💝

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 1.2k

warnings: none really, burnt out!reader, soft comfort boyfie steeb

taglist: @dukesmebby @saturnband @sweetbabygirlsworld

The sound of the front door of your apartment slamming back against its hinges disturbed Steve from his busy task at the stove. The wooden spoon almost clattering back into the pan with a clang, his eyebrows pinched together as he peered over his shoulder at you.

Steve was concerned. You were never one for slamming doors or loud noises so when he turned round to face you, your slumped shoulders and the defeated look on your face said it all.

Ringing his hands on a dish towel he made his way over to you, comforting palms placed on your forearms as Steve bent at his knees to get a better look at you.

“Everything okay, baby?” He asked, voice all soft and quiet, barely above a whisper.

You could only respond with a half-hearted shrug, sad eyes not able to meet Steve’s warm, inviting one’s. You wanted nothing more than for this day to end, another shitty day at work to top it all off.

Steve’s hands moved to your face then, fingers tucking a stray strand behind your ear, his thumb stroking across your cheek. He chewed on his bottom lip as he watched your eyes grow teary.

“Hey,” Steve cooed, “hey, what’s wrong, huh? You can tell me. Is it work?”

Steve had a feeling, a sinking suspicion you’d had yet another bad day at your job, another day of doing more than they pay you for, another day of not being thanked. He wished you would just leave, find somewhere you’d be appreciated more but Steve knew it wasn’t that simple.

There was no convincing you, he knew that, so Steve would let you rant. He would let you get all your anger out, he’d give you his shoulder to cry on, rub your back and stroke your hair until your sobs turned into sniffles.

Sometimes you didn’t want to talk, your mind too foggy and your eyes too heavy. A night spent in Steve’s arms on your couch, limbs tangled whilst his lips pressed soft kisses against your hairline, the movie on the TV simply serving as background noise outside your bubble.

Tonight was one of those nights.

“You wanna talk about it, sweetheart?” Steve had since pulled you into his chest, the dinner he was prepping long forgotten about. His arms wrapped tightly around your shoulders in a bone crushing hug.

You shook your head against the material of your boyfriend’s polo, the fabric scratching against your already hot cheek. The tears you’d be holding in were now threatening to spill over your lashes, dampening Steve’s t-shirt.

“Okay,” he whispered, his head now resting against your own as you both stood wrapped around one another in your kitchen, “can you tell me what you need? Can you do that for me, baby?”

He knew he had to tread lightly here, gently trying to coax a response from you in this state but his need for you to understand that he was there for you no matter what was immense. In whichever way you needed, it didn’t matter to Steve. All that mattered in these moments was how he could make you feel a tiny bit better.

So you nodded timidly, squeezing your eyes shut to stop the tears from spilling over. A quiet sniffle heard from your nose muffled by Steve’s chest.

“Okay,” you squeaked out, “can we shower? And then just get into bed?” Chin resting against his firm chest now, you blinked up at your boyfriend with big, wet doe eyes. A look that Steve could never say no to.

Steve let his lips rest against your temple before bringing them to your forehead. A final squeeze to your shoulders as he spoke,

“A shower and cuddles in bed coming right up,” Steve uttered with a light tone and a soft smile tugging at his lips, “anything for my girl.”

The mirror began to steam up as the water warmed, Steve not letting you move an inch as he undressed you and showered you in sweet kisses all over your skin. He couldn’t help let the gentle smirk that graced his features when you asked him to step inside with you.

Hot water cascaded down your bodies as the tension of the day left your shoulders, the heavy burden slowly being lifted. Steve’s hands wandered your body as your head rested against his chest, eyes closed, just letting the water and your boyfriend soothe you.

You washed each other’s hair, the artificial scent of strawberries filling your noses, a chuckle bouncing off the glass as Steve grinned at the content noises escaping your lips as he massaged your scalp.

“That feel good, baby?” he asked with a swift peck to your cheek, a toothy grin on his face as a soft smile threatened to tug at your lips.

Hair and bodies washed, Steve held you in the shower a little longer. His hand rubbing up and down your naked back soothingly, a kiss pressed to your hairline before he switched the water off, mumbling something about how he doesn’t want you both to turn into prunes.

You were wrapped up in a fluffy towel before you could complain about the chill, favourite pyjamas in hand as Steve fluffed the towel around your shoulders.

“Let’s get you into bed, pretty girl, come on.” Steve urged before swooping you up in his strong arms, laying you down on the soft sheets. You immediately curled into his side the moment he pulled the comforter over you.

You let him wrap your arms around you tightly, his head resting against yours as he drew soft shapes lightly on your arm. You heard Steve sigh quietly as his eyes scanned the ceiling whilst he thought through what he was going to say.

“You know you can talk when you’re ready, honey,” Steve began, his fingers continued softly against your arm, “but you know you can just leave that shitty job, right?”

An exhale pushed its way past your nostrils, not in discontent but it was just difficult. You loved your job, you did but it was just tough going lately. You were burnt out and feeling under-appreciated and yeah, it was taking its toll on you.

Steve knew this, of course he did, but he just wanted to look after you, to make sure you were happy.

“How ‘bout you come work at Family Video with me and Robin?” He asked, a grin toying at his lips, “Come on, it’d be a breeze and we’d get to spend all day, every day together. Doesn’t that sound amazing?”

A playful smile crept its way onto your features, one that Steve couldn’t see in the dark of his room but one he could feel. Steve let his fingers wander to your ribs, pads threatening to dig into your soft skin.

“Plus, Keith would love having a smokin’ hot girl like you around the place.”

You smacked his shoulder as you scoffed, “Steve, you are not pimping me out to your creepy boss so you can get an easy ride.”

Steve laughed loudly, a sound that rumbled in his stomach up to his chest, “‘M joking, baby. I wouldn’t do that to you. But you know I’m here for you, right? Whatever my girl needs, whenever she needs it.”

You sighed into his chest, a small content noise that filled out the room. Steve pulled you in impossibly closer, as if to offer more reassurance.

“Forever and always?” You asked, voice quiet.

“Forever and always.” Steve replied with a kiss to your forehead before you fell asleep in his arms.