#im overcaffinated
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making a portfolio from scratch finally its been such a thrill, im hopped up on an energy drink I really should not have had but here we are wahooooo hehehehehehehhheheheh
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I need to break my reliance on my phone fpr dopamine I know my mental health and sleep schedule and overall.wellbeing will benefit greatly in the long run. But it's hard and I don't want to
#which is pathetic but here we are#remember how i said im overcaffinated and sleep.deprived and you should ignore the posts i make.tonight? ywah its referring to this one
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halfway thru my first day!!
#i think i was right about it jumpstarting my brain#only problem is i think? i forgot my meds#def forgot my adderall at least idk abt the duloxetine#i feel slightly? sick to my stomach#but that could also be like#malnutrition#overcaffination#sleep deprivation#too much nicotine#weed cravings/withdrawals#the list goes on#im sure ill feel better as my life becomes more regular
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Fatigue + inflammation is the most gaslighty way 2 be sick
I'm not nauseous or puking my tummy isn't fucked I'm not dizzy. Any extra craziness is directly linkable to overcaffinating to try to cope. I don't even hurt all that bad.
I just uh. Can't do stuff. Basic tasks for myself take forever. Nothing feels like it's working quite right. I never feel quite rested or quite nourished. It's like moving through water. Every once in a while i make a wrong move and it come crashing in on me acutely, work my hands too hard and they ache like nothin, stay up too late and start crying because I imagined what it'd feel like if my friends died, fuck up a task at rhe end of a long day and just...fail. spiral. & then I beat it back, salve on the parts that hurt, cuddle stuffed animals and go back to sleep, force food into me and pull myself together. Smash the columns of water clawing at me and they dissipate and flow away, but im still standing thigh deep in it
So dumb!
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im overcaffinated, underfed, and stressed as fuck, but at least i dress well i guess
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im really overcaffinated rn and im watching a stream VOD of someone building legos and she keeps holding the legos up to the screen and osmething about it is overwhelming me every time
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fuck it man im gonna make video essays about clamp manga. i was gonna say just x but i Need to talk about tsubasa and xxxholic and tokyo babylon. ccs too but that ones popular and therefore covered more widely already. the other ones however are fertile ground that i am going to till with the reckless abandon like an overcaffinated mole
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I am overcaffinated and underemployed on this fine friday, clearly.
Have a call with a new therapist at 3 as well. Im not nervous. Just a bit sad that i will have to retell my life story. And that i will have to do the things I’ve been avoiding. And confront my inherent difficulty with existing in society. Sigghhhhhh. At least i am in a weird manic good mood.
Genuine question:
When someone says “how are you?” In a message but then they continue the message to talk about the reason they messaged you, Are you supposed to say “im good how are you?” Or just disregard because it was just an opener for what they really wanted to say
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Also based on what I've seen of your blog so far you have fantastic vibes and true (transgender?) swag. A++. You seem like someone I would see in the supermarket and want to be friends with but not have the confidence to approach and say those cursed words, "I like your shoelaces." Anyways I hope you're having a good day. Do you like receiving asks like this? If not I won't send them lol ^w^
HOLY SHIT I FINALLY GOT AN ASK AFGER LIKE 80 YEARS HELLO NEW FRIEND PERSON IM TED also yes I love asks send them! And my blog is mostly just jokes about having a stomach ache and dracula memes so get ready for alot of that 😔😔but thank you that's awesome of you to say
#first thing ya gotta know about me? im italian#second thing? i am unspeakably insanely cool#like just the absolute coolest person ever#wow im overcaffinated#ask
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only sent five emails today but all of them are so embarrassing im this close to force shutting down my computer
#ive been messing up on tiny shit i think i freaked out over a deadline that just came up#and the overcaffination probs doesnt help. im crashing rn 😑#personal
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oh are we doing nice anon messages ok: hey ummmm ur like so talented w/ your art and like ur pretty cool and i hope ur doing well right now ok byeeeeee...
ps: <3
hello hello thank u???? i am simply Here im glad u like my stuff i do hope ppl do 🥺💖💖💖 also bro u prommy that im cool wait till u see my tumblr drafts of jokes that were too dumb to post even on this 'personal blog'
#yeah i guess we are doing nice anons since no one wants to send me hate 💖💖💖💖💖#asks#also hope ur doing well!!! im overcaffinated even though its been at least 12 solid hours its 1am now babey
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every time i think about the episode i aaaaaaaaa
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My heart feels like it's going to explode omg
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misspelt choice while writing my essay and remembered that he took a chonce
#WHAT THE FUCK IS A CHONCE#1d#the only time I will tag anything with 1D#I started loling in starbucks im so tired and overcaffinated#this is the funniest thing to me
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what
the
fuck
is my goddamn problem
#like @me plz be normal#i go through enough shit as it is#smh#but tbh im always overcaffinated#:/#shut up rea
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Everything sucks but I am alive if for nothing else except to drink this seasonal starbucks medium roast that makes my heart beat fast enough to warp time.
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