#im out here having to act out whole ass seductions when I have had one relationship in my life

[ace-in-a-very-distressing-hole]

that’s an awfully charismatic dnd character you have there for someone with the irl social skills of a pile of cold, wet spaghetti

[chaoticdisater]

Red white & royal Blue Favourite quotes

“How many times do I have to tell Y’all not to discuss your murder plots in front of a sitting president” their mother interrupts “Plausible deniability. Come on” (Pg 64) 

I don't know WHO you think you're kidding, you Hufflepuff-ass bitch, (Alex to henry over text pg 69) 

“‘put the turkeys in my room’  ‘No.’ ‘put them in my room, put them in my room, put them in my room -’  later that night as Alex stares into the cold pitiless eyes of a prehistoric beast of prey, he has a few regrets” (Alex and his mother Pg 76) 

“’he- Oi! Not for you Mr.wobbles! those are mine!’ more rustling and a distant offended Meow, ‘no, Mr. wobbles you bastard!’” (Henry at his sister's cat, pg 80) 

“Dec 8, 2019, 8:53 PM  yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe HRH prince Dickhead  I BEG YOU TO NOT “ (Henry and Alex over text Pg 84) 

“’ the options Id like...’ he says dragging the words out. ‘they don't quite seem to be options at all’” (Henry Pg 107) 

“’ christ you're a thick as it gets’ he says and he grabs Alex's face in both hands and kisses him.” (Henry Pg 107) 

“‘Seventy-eight percent probability of latent Bi-sexual tendencies. one hundred percent probability this is not a hypothetical question’” (Nora pg 118) 

“‘am I? do you think I'm Bi?’  ‘I can't tell you that Alex!’ she says ‘that's the whole point!’” (Alex and Nora Pg121)

“she slants a look at him ‘is this a diabolical scheme of seduction?’ she asks ‘if so, yes.’“ (Nora Pg 130) 

“Alex knocks the candelabra off the table next to them and pushes henry onto it so hes sitting with his back against - Alex looks up and almost breaks into a deranged laugh - a portrait of alexander hamilton.” (Pg 132) 

“‘im going to die’ henry says helplessly.  ‘im going to kill you,’ Alex tells him.” (Henry and Alex pg 133) 

‘”and if you fucking ghost me again, I'm going to get you put on a fucking no-fly list. got it’” (Alex at henry pg 134) 

“worst of all, Henry is good“ (Alex's thoughts on henry playing Polo Pg 147) 

“’I’m gonna go, Uh’ Alex says ‘say hi to henry’ Amy's mouth settles into a grim line ‘Please don't elaborate’ ‘Yeah I know’ Alex says ‘plausible deniability’” (Alex and Amy Pg 148) 

‘A <agcd@eclare45.com>  to Henry  his royal highness prince of whatever,  Don't make me learn your actual title’ (Alex’s email to henry Pg 152) 

‘Henry <hwales@kensingtonemail.com>  to A Alex, first son of inappropriately timed Emails when I’m in early morning meetings’ (Henry’s email to Alex Pg 155) 

“when he shows up to a briefing two days later Zahra grabs his jaw with one hand and turns his head, peering closer at the side of his neck. ‘is that a Hickey’ Alex freezes. ‘I . . . um, no?’” (Zahra and Alex pg 162) 

“‘Do you have a last name?’ Alex has never actually offered a greeting when calling Henry  ‘What?’ the usual bemused elongated one-syllable response” (163 Alex and henry over the phone) 

“‘Baby’ its become a thing: Baby he knows it’s become a thing. hes slipped up and accidentally said it a few times, and each time, Henry positively melts” (Alex Pg 166) 

“‘I miss you,’ Alex says before he can stop himself he instantly regrets ut but henry says. ‘I miss you too’” (pg 173) 

“she flung her arm out emphatically enough to upset an entire potted cactus on her dresser and says ‘Because until now you weren't fucking the prince of England’” (June pg 177)  

“‘you should try saying some of that stuff to Him’  ‘stop trying to Jane Austen my life’” (June and Alex Pg 180) 

“’ is now a good time to point out henrys very hot Very rich best friend is basically in love with you?’ Alex says to June ‘hes like some kind of billionaire genius manic-pixie-dream philanthropist. I feel like you would be into that.’ ‘Please shut up,’” (Alex and June Pg 182)  

“‘yes, yes, Pez, we know there's nothing you cant do,’ says henrys voice off-camera ‘no need to rub it in’“ (henry Pg 184) 

“‘oh I haven't had vodka since uni,’ henry says ‘it tends to make me erm, well-’ ‘flamboyant?’ Pez offers. ‘uninhibited? randy?’  ‘Fun?’ Bea suggests  ‘Excuses you, I am loads of fun all the time! I am a Delight’“ (Henry Bea and Pez pg 190)

“’yes Beatrice, we shall behave in a manner befitting the crown,’ henry says. his eyes are slightly crossed ‘don't be a tosser’“ (Henry and bea Pg 195) 

“He likes taking henry apart but there's something incredibly intantament about sitting on the bed they wrecked the night before, the only one who watches him create Prince Henry of Wales for the day.” (Pg 200) 

“‘So this is the gang now, huh?’  and through it all, Alex realizes with a start: he has friends now.” (Cash pg 201) 

“How is a man to get anything done knowing Alex Claremont-Diaz is out there on the loose?” (Henrys email to Alex pg 203) 

“yours in sexual frustration  Henry” (henrys email to Alex pg 206) 

“once again, how had he ever convinced himself he was straight,” (Alex pg 213) 

“‘just so we’re clear,’ Alex said ‘Im about to have sex with you in this storage closet to spite your family. Like that's what's happening?’“ (Alex pg 217) 

“your Brave I could use some of that” (Pg 218) 

“Because that's what he would do if he were here in this palace to fall in love Henry” (Pg 220) 

“Zahra doesnt even look up from her phone ‘that was my boyfriend and no, you may not ask me any further questions about him’” (Zahra Pg 223) 

“If he’s some anonymous normal person removed from history he’s twenty-two and he’s tipsy and he’s pulling a guy into his hotel room by the belt loop. He’s pulling a lip between his teeth and he fumbling behind his back to switch on a lamp and he’s thinking I like this person”  (Pg 228)

“You still are. Because you still bloody care so much.” He leans down and presses a kiss into Alex’s hair. “And you are good. Most things are awful most of the time but you’re good” (Henry Pg 230)

“’Seriously?’ She hisses ‘your literally putting your dick in the leader of a foreign state who is a man at the biggest political event before the election in a hotel full of reporters in a city full of cameras in a race close enough to fucking hinge on some bullshit like this like a manifestation of my fucking stress dreams and you’re asking me not to tell the president about it?’” (Zarha pg 233)

“The next slide is titled EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE ENGLAND? she apologizes for not having time to come up with better titles Alex activity wishes for the sweet release of death” (Pg 237)

“History huh? I bet we could make some.” (Alex’s email to henry Pg 241)

“The pair of you share and an alarming number of traits by the by: passionate determination, never knowing when to shut up, &c &c,” (herny’s email to Alex Pg 242)

“Regards Haplessly romantic heretic prince henry the utterly daft” (henrys email to Alex pg 243)

“‘It’s math,’ Nora says ‘Math has no authority here,’ June tells her ‘Math is everywhere June’” (Nora and June Pg 247)

“Henry is tipsy and shirtless and attempting to referee” (pg 252)

“’Some times you just jump and hope it’s not a chiff’” (Alex dad Pg 256)

“Well, Alex is so in love he could die.” (Pg 257)

“He’s been falling in love with Henry for years probably since he first saw him in glossy print on the pages of j14 almost definitely since Henry pinned Alex to the floor of a medical supply closet and told him to shut the hell up.” (Pg 257)

“’Fuck off five nine is average’” (Pg 258)

“’H?’ He whispers ‘you awake?’ Henry sighs ‘always.’” ( Pg 260)

“He’s got a distinct feeling of something being pulled out of his hands right before he could grasp it.” (Pg 263)

“something rises in Alex's throat - anger, confusion, hurt, bile. Unforgivably, he feels like he might cry” (Pg 270) 

“’Fuck I swear you don’t make it fucking easy but I’m in love with you’” (Alex Pg 271)

“’I never thought I’d be stood here faced with a choice I can’t make because I never ... I never imagined you would love me back’” (Henry pg 273)

“He’s in Henry’s face now if he’s getting his heart broken tonight he’s sure as hell going to make Henry have the guts to do it right ‘tell me you're done with me. I’ll get back on the plane. that's it. and you can live here in your tower and be miserable forever, write a whole book of sad fucking poems about it, whatever just say it’” (274)

“He’s in stupid unbearable love and Henry loves him too and at least for one night it matters, even if they both have to pretend to forget in the morning” (Pg 275)

“He tells his too fast brain: don’t miss this time he’s too important” (Alexs thoughts Pg 275)

“henry’s hands-on him are unhurried and soft and they make out lazily for hours or days.” (Pg 280) 

“Alex sighs ‘i don't think I told you but she uh. well, when she fired me she told me that if I wasn't a thousand percent serious about you. I need to break things off.’  Henry nuzzles his nose behind Alex's ear ‘a thousand percent?’” (Alex and Henry Pg 282) 

“‘Diaz you insane hopeless romantic little shit’ says the voice of the president of the united states, muffled in the bed ‘it had better be forever. Be safe’“ (Pg 284) 

“hes cut off mid-sentence because Alex has stopped in the middle of the corridor and yanked him backwards into a kiss” (pg 286) 

“’its funny’ henry says ‘i always thought of the whole thing as the most unforgivable thing about me but you act like its one of the best’“ (henry Pg 289) 

“he takes the chain off his neck and slides the ring on next to the old house key. they click together gently as he tucks them both under his shirt, two homes side by side” (Pg 291) 

“I opened my blasted mouth and said ‘because I'm not like the rest of the men in this family beginning with the fact that I'm am very deeply gay Philip’  once shaan managed to dislodge him from the chandelier Philip had quite a few words for me,” (Henry’s emails to Alex Pg 298) 

“just leaving, not coming back. maybe burning something down on the way out. it would be nice.” (henrys emails to Alex pg 299)

“I thought, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire” (henrys emails to Alex (describing how he felt when he first saw Alex) Pg 300) 

“20. the fact that you have loved me all along.” (alex’s email to henry (the list of things alex loves about henry) Pg 303) 

“‘Oh my god Z what is That? did you get engaged?’  Zahra looks down at the ring and shrugs. ‘i had the week-end off’” (June and Zahra pg 305)

“’you and me and history, remember? were just gonna fucking fight. because your it okay? Im never gonna love anybody in the world like i love you,’“ (Alex pg 312) 

“‘I swear to god if you say I'm too young I'm gonna lose my shit,’“ (Alex pg 315) 

“What did he do ‘be more specific’“ (Alex to Zahra pg 321 ) 

“’the president is sitting down with as many members of the office of communitcs we could drag out of bed at three in the morning’” (Zahra Pg 323) 

“‘pack a bag’ she says ‘we’re going to londan’” (Zahra Pg 334)

“she (Zarha) seems confident Shaan will agree to it and willing to physically overpower him if not.” (pg 334) 

“still the cocky shit head part of him is slightly pleased to finally have claim on henry. Yep, the prince? Most eligible bachelor in the world? British accent face like a greek god, legs for days? Mine” (Pg 336) 

“‘youre giving my ulcer an ulcer’“ (Zahra pg 336) 

“‘Im running on nothing but black coffee, a wetzels pretzel, and a fistful of B12. Do not even breathe in my directrion,’“ (Zahra Pg 339) 

“He leans up and kisses the underside of his jaw, finding it rough from a full fitful day,” (pg 340)

“‘What kind of family, that says we’ll take the murder, we’ll take the raping and pillaging and the colonizing, well scrub it up nice and neat in a museum but oh no you’re a bloody poof? That’s beyond our sense of decorum’” (Henry pg 347)

“Bea seizes the pot of tea from the center of the table and dumps it into his lap ‘Oh, I’m terribly sorry Pip’ she says grabbing him by the shoulders and shoving him sputtering and yelping toward the door ‘so deardfully clumsy, you know I think all that cocaine I did must have really done a job on my refexes!’” (Bea pg 357)

“Henry pulls Alex close and kisses him whispers, ‘I love you I love you I love you’ and it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter if anyone sees.” (Pg 358)

And that’s when I gave up I do have more but well I didn’t want to make this list any more

[normal-thoughts-official]

magnus is this notorious pirate famous in the caribbean with everyone talking about him because of how successful he is. his quartermaster is definitely raphael (his care for his clan and how he cares for others solidifies this thought process) and their ship has some corny name that raphael pretends to hate but definitely loves. europe thinks that magnus and his crew are demons(racists fucks) meanwhile theyre out here being nerds who enjoys navigating the seas and ruining racists job prospects+

+cat and ragnor live on nassau with magnus bringing back supplies they sell(we love the blackmarket here). the lightwoods are brought into this world bc their parents send them off to nassau to try and expand the family's business and gain profit off of this lawless place which refuses to be governed by anyone. malec meets at like the local inn where maia works at also where izzy meets her and by association The Polycule)and is just attracted to each other right then and there with bad flirting. once they become settled in, alec and izzy becomes like disillusioned with following what their parents expect of them and start to actually do what they wish. because he's dramatic, alec probably asks ragnor who settled down from pirating for more lessons in sword fighting (hes not unexperienced but theres a difference from fighting on land and on water)

eventually magnus hears about this cue them dramatically learning how to fight on like this cliff top with their swords connecting (we love euphemisms for sex) and them bonding over magnus' book collection he has and them no longer doing what their parents expect of them (im imagining asmodeus as this well traveled trader or something who only cares about money rather than having humanity) and even though magnus is this pirate which is a profession that the "civilized world" looks down on, he's like the epitome of actually having morals and caring about people (pirates were known to drastically impact the slave trade as they often freed slaves and let them join their crew or they worked directly with maroons and indigenous people). 

i imagine their first kiss to be when theyre training and someone has a sword pressed against the others neck because theyre horny bastards and they accept only the dramatics. their proposal/matelot is potc levels of dramatic with them fighting an enemy crew alongside The Polycule(the most badass and queer crew out there) and like halfway through alec is just like marry me and then next thing they know it raphael is officiating their marriage around dead people before they go on to have a better and more planned out wedding on shore (had to get some of this out now before i went too deep, The Poycule is definitely something i paid attention to most considering how big and complex the group is)

ugh not to add to an already huge post but

you are totally right about raphael being his quartermaster! raphael is a great leader and he cares so much for his people and he is one of the few people magnus obviously trusts, even as they have their differences. only other person i could imagine as magnus' quartermaster would be cat but like! raphael is perfect for the job! also i love the idea that he pretends to hate the corny name, he has to pretend to hate magnus' puns and jokes on principle but really he loves it

also "meanwhile they are all nerds" accurate, the whole ship is just a whole mess of people having fun and being family we love that for them

and ok not to slut for the polycule but i'm slutting for the polycule i just. aaa want to know so much more about them. i know you said they were already with maia but idk i can see many of them being part of magnus' crew? especially meliorn and tbh clary lmao she seems the type who would love adventure like that (i'm going with fanon clary here mostly) and i can see simon in both but i can also definitely see simon being in the inn with maia (god i have a half baked au that includes that) because being in the sea all day? no thank you. and they are just this nice local couple that helps all the pirates because fuck the racist law

also it's hilarious because they are so warm and welcoming and the lightwoods get there and simon is like "oh-oh. incoming" and maia is all like "what the fUCK do you want"

which lowkey backfires because izzy is just like "oh she's so fierce, i love her" and is already like, halfway in love doing the head tilt and huge grin thing (she's not creepy about it, just like, she likes it, you know? especially because in this AU izzy was raised as a Rich Girl so she's expected to be all that fragile useless white woman ideal and yada yada and she's not here for that so she's attracted to the idea of women like clary and maia)

and just like ghhgggghhh not to slut but i love the idea that they are in the inn and meliorn raphael and possibly clary are always in the sea so like! sweet reunions! not that they are usually going super far lmao mostly just stopping the slave trade and protecting the caribbean and shit, but that's a few months in between visits and i picture that at some point when they are getting to nassau raphael is just like, vibrating (you know, as much as he allows himself to) and magnus just smiles knowingly, happy that his boy has found people he's so happy with

and raphael getting into the inn and being like "simon! maia!" and simon and maia being like "raphael! meliorn!" and just crashing into this big group hug and it's all laughs and meliorn twirls maia and she giggles and simon kisses raphael's cheek and is all worried about them both (plus clary) because god what the fuck kind of shit did they get into this time, are they hurt? if he's broken another leg he's gonna- and raphael laughs and says "no, cariño, i promise all i have with me are gifts" because he's not gonna travel the caribbean and not bring stuff for his partners. so it's him and meliorn showering maia and simon in gifts and pretty and maybe stolen things (maia in particular takes such great joy in learning that her pretty new bracelet belonged to some racist bitch) like spoils you know? lmao, and looking at them it's like they haven't seen each other in years or something but no it's been like a month and it's always like that

and alec and izzy are just watching that, mouths slack, shocked, but highkey yearning for something as free as that, that loving family and that open love and meliorn's genderfuckery and just everything about them! and alec "conceal don't feel" lightwood is kind of frowning and goes "are they always like that?" to which magnus, behind him, answers "yes" and then he turns around and they stare at each other and magnus quickly goes from "happy for my boys" to "hello tall person" in a matter of seconds and is suddenly all seductive and flirty and alec is having the time of his life? especially since here away from the lightwoods he can allow himself just a little bit, and letting a guy flirt with him can't hurt, right? he knows izzy won't tell their parents. so he engages

cue terribly bad flirting, izzy smiling widely as she watches the polycule dynamics, highkey wanting something like that for herself, especially seeing the way that clary talks to maia all like "look at this SWORD" and all the adventures. and maia still doesn't trust her but apparently magnus has already hit it off with her brother so what the hell, they might as well stay

and just!! yes getting to know each other shenanigans. i picture that like the army gets there and tries to get magnus and his crew and alec and izzy are like running to them to warn them (alec not knowing quite why, he shouldn't be taking that big of a risk, he shouldn't be getting attached to a pirate - of whom he's only heard terrible things so far, thinks they are Evil basically - just because something about him is alluring and represents the freedom he doesn't allow himself to want, but... he is getting attached) and the whole gang is all like *very calmly heading to the secret hideout in their room* oh don't worry about that lmao they do this every week

and idk i just want a moment where they are almost found and alec and izzy lowkey save their ass (i mean they would have managed but they make it easier, maybe use the Privilege Card lmao). maybe the guards were closer than they thought so alec ends up just shoving magnus into the hideout and when the guards come in he's all like "WHO is interrupting our sleep" and acts like an entitled brat and they don't even search the room lmao and then alec runs to the hideout all "sorry that i pushed you, are you okay?" and magnus is all like "i'm fine" but a little touched about the care. just to establish that trust, you know? both between them and between izzy and the rest of the polycule

so after that it all kind of flows smoothly because they know they can genuinely trust the lightwoods and so it grows into something more. magnus and alec can bond over having Terrible Parents With Terrible Morals and they open up about their respective traumas with abuse, and alec confesses to magnus for the first time ever that he doesn't want to be like his parents, that he thought if maybe he earned their respect, he could change things from the inside. and magnus looks at him all soft and touched and is like "there's no changing things from the inside" and alec is like "i'm starting to realize that" you know

and yeah alec gets to see how much that crew cares for each other, way more than his "traditional family" ever could (except for him and izzy who are just as devoted to each other as the crew is, but like, it's honestly less the "blood relations" and more how they've always been there for each other as they handled their parents' shittiness) and again he's just yearning because he always believed he wouldn't get something like that. and magnus in particular is just so caring and just wants to make the world a better place, you know? and he admires that and they bond over that, too

and just jdhdaodshad god i love this. and meanwhile izzy is flirting with maia clary and meliorn like crazy and soon they are like this huge messy group with all those dynamics... and i just aaa and alec and izzy end up joining the crew and daiodsaiodjsaio RAPHAEL OFFICIATING THEIR WEDDING i'm genuinely all for that fucking shit, magnus wants his boy to do it for them and aaaaa! also i DEMAND raphael&meliorn fighting sequences because i bet they would make a bomb ass duo fighting back to back and shit, you know? bonus points if they are defending simon and maia who are behind them and just making sure no one touches them?? i live for this shit 

in short i love this and you said “get some out of your chest" so if there's more, then fuck, i can't wait to see it dahsdaijas i'm sorry for talking so much i get too excited

[heavymetalover]

Strangers In the Night (Xavier Plympton x fem reader)

Summary: You’re hitchhiking when getting picked up by an unexpected stranger.

Warnings: smut, dirty talk, oral sex, vaginal sex, daddy kink, fluff (omg).

Word count: 6.2k

A/N: im SORRY about the daddy kink AGAIN… i have daddy issues.

this ended up being wholesome, i feel letdown tbh.

~mostly inspired by the beautiful ones by prince~

~~~~

  You chew away on your gum, taking small steps through the gravel going towards your destination. Surrounded by nothing but a narrow road and some woods. As night begins to fall, you become a little more suspicious of each sound rocking in the trees. After all, there’s been a crazy murderer on the loose around LA. Gives you shivers just thinking he could be lurking, watching.

The sound of a car approaches and you follow the routine of turning towards the road and sticking a polished thumb up in hopes you’ll attract a Good Samaritan. The dusty red Nissan slows down to give you an unbearably loud honk and speeds away, you spit into the dust it leaves behind. “Fucker!” you yell out, although certain the road hog wouldn’t hear.

Another driver approaches, quite a large van. You shyly stick out your thumb again and feel a smile inching onto your face; sometimes friendliness can tempt the strangers. You can’t see them from where you stand, but their van pulls to the side of the road for you.

Not wasting a beat, you spit your gum out onto the road and skip over to the van. The window’s rolled down and a dapper man sits in the driver’s seat. Frosted hair hairsprayed to perfection, green tank top exposing his trim arms, and sunglasses tipped slightly over the bridge of his nose, exposing ravishing blue eyes. “Hey honey,” he greets with a smirk, “need a lift?”

You jump onto the step for the passenger’s door and lean into the window, head resting on your arms. “You headed north?” you ask, biting your bottom lip to entice the stranger.

“Sure am,” he replies looking out onto the road. “Just stopping at Oasis, is that far enough for you?”

You shrug your head into a shoulder, peering out onto the road with half a smile. You lean back on the step, gripping onto the window with your fingerless gloves. “Hey, beggars can’t be choosers, right?” you joke, leaning back into the window and turning to look at the handsome man again. He’s taken his sunglasses off completely, biting the tips seductively with his dazzling eyes plastered on you. Your heart sinks in your chest, not even bothering to hold back your nervous smile. You run your tongue between your teeth and his eyes find the floor of his van.

He shakes his head and puts his sunglasses back on. “You better get inside before you get me in trouble, baby,” he says with a slight sigh.

You jump off of the step to swing open the door and eagerly hop into the passenger’s seat, throwing your backpack into the back of his van and slamming the door shut. Digging through your pocket for a pack of cigarettes that you stole from your roommate before fleeing; you hit the box, taking the single stick that jut out, and sticking it between your teeth. “Mind if I…?” you trail off, dangling the cigarette between your lips.

His eyes dart towards you and back onto the road, “Oh no, of course not. Go right ahead,” he blurts, adjusting himself in his seat. “Actually,” he reaches beside him and grabs a small lighter, “I got that for you.”

He hangs over his seat, keeping one hand on the wheel. He sparks the lighter once, twice before it ignites. He holds the flame to your cigarette, his eyes meeting yours only for a moment. You sharply inhale the oaky, bitter taste of tobacco before hastily blowing it into his face. He leans back into his seat, suppressing an obvious smile as he goes back to focusing on the road. “You’re going to get someone killed one day if you wanna act like a gentleman, lighting up my cigarette and being all chivalrous.”

“Pfft,” he jeers. “Can’t kill anybody when there’s no one around.”

He glances at you, cross earring hanging from one of his ears and you feel a drop in the pit of your stomach. “You look so familiar,” you mention before taking another drag.

“I get Simon Le Bon a lot,” he nods.

“No,” you shake your head.

“George Michael?” he guesses with an apathetic shrug.

“No, no, not like that,” you take another drag. “I’ve seen you -your face- before somewhere,” you tap your chin, “somewhere.”

“Oh!” he sounds enthusiastic. “I teach aerobics! Maybe you came by the studio?”

“No, I haven’t,” you reply mindlessly, drawing more thick smoke into your lungs and tapping the tip of the stick to remove excess ash. You’re searching every crevasse of your brain for where you’ve seen this man before, but coming up empty.

He looks nervous with the more time you spend silently pondering. “I’m a pretty serious actor, maybe you’ve seen some of my stuff,” he suggests, trying to break the silence.

Your heart skips a beat and you accidentally fling your cigarette out the window from excitement. “Oh my gosh! Yes! That’s where I’ve seen you! I have seen some of your stuff, ooh baby, I’ve seen all of your stuff,” you exclaim, pointing down to his crotch. “One of my old roommates was gay, had a total hard-on for your VHS.”

The man shakes his head, nervous laughter evading his lips. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says through gritted teeth.

“Oh, don’t you dare bullshit me,” your voice cracks into a squeal as you push his arm. He’s still shaking his head as confutation. “No, no, no, don’t even deny it. I saw a skinny guy taking a hard piping from you! I know it was you, how could I mistake that beautiful face? And you even have the earring, c’mon.”

“Look, I don’t know who you think I am, okay?” he snaps in distress. He doesn’t entertain your claims, instead shaking his head weakly. “I’m not…” his voice quivers. “I’m not gay.”

You feel an instant pang of regret for making such a big deal about the tape. “Oh,” you sigh, “well, I never thought you, you were.” You slump back into your seat, positioning yourself to face the road again. The man has gone silent. “I mean, for what it’s worth,” you start, but your mind screams at you to stop. Just let it go, he’s clearly uncomfortable.

You purse your lips together and sigh, suffocating your hands between squished thighs. You fill your cheeks up with air in hopes it’ll get you to stop yapping. The only sound present is the tires going over the gravelly road. “For what it’s worth?” he finally asks.

You hold back a smile, turning back to him. “I was just going to say you looked like you were really good,” you blurt out. “And big,” you bring your voice higher in an attempt to sound more flirtatious, “very, very big.” He exhales a lazy snicker and shakes his head. “What?” you throw up your hands defensively, “It’s true!”

He continues shaking his head. “You’re too much,” he exhales.

“Well apparently you are too,” you quip, raising an eyebrow.

His mouth is agape, no words coming out and too stunted by yours to even attempt a rebuttal. He glances at you, eyes peeping over his glasses to get a better look. “Who are you?” he asks.

You perk up in your seat, offering your hand to him since he’s already proven himself to be a careless driver. “I’m y/n,” you say with a jaunty smile. “And you are?”

He takes your hand limply into his. “Xavier,” he says, leaning down to give a small peck onto your gloved knuckles.

“Classy,” you whisper while retrieving your hand, Xavier returns his focus to the road. Part of you is kicking yourself for even wearing the gloves and missing out on the feel of his soft lips against your skin. Dammit, why did Madonna have to make them so fashionable?

You itch to cross your legs in your seat, but knowing that would expose Xavier to what’s underneath your dress, instead you opt to just sit on them. Would it be so bad to expose myself to him? “Xavier,” you say his name to fill up the conversational lull. “Xavier, Xavier, Xavier,” you singsong. “Why did you stop to pick me up? Pick up a lot of hitchhikers?” you keep your eyes glued on him and lean your head back on the seat to get comfortable. His van does have a very homey feel.

“No, you’re my first,” he responds.

You dramatize a fake gasp, placing a hand on your chest. “Little old me? Why am I so lucky?” you press.

“Well, the sun’s setting, you’re in the middle of the woods and you’re a girl. Not to mention the lunatic Night Stalker going around the area, guess I was feeling a bit generous,” he smiles. You begin nodding your head, satisfied with his answer, when he cuts you short. “Or,” he adds, “maybe I just thought you were one, very foxy chick.” You feel your heart flutter and cheeks burn hot; you want to fan yourself like they do in movies. “Either way, I still picked you up, didn’t I?” He asks, cocking a brow.

“Oh yes sir, indeed,” you smirk with a slight shake to your head.

The woods have disappeared behind you two and in no time, you’ve reached Xavier’s destination on Oasis street. He parks his car on the side of the road and takes the keys out of the ignition, finally turning in his seat to face you like you’ve done during the whole ride. The sexual tension is beginning to become an insufferable elephant in the room. “Where you heading from here?” he asks.

You shrug your shoulders. “Don’t know, maybe crash at one of those twenty-four-hour diners until they kick me out,” you say with a slight chuckle, recalling how many times that’s happened to you before. “Just gotta get out of this place, y’know.”

He tilts his head up. “Running from something?” he speculates.

“Aren’t we all?” you roll your eyes with a slight nod.

He grins, “You can say that again.”

You take one long look at him before letting out a bitter sigh. “Goddamn it, I guess I should bounce,” you say with a frown. You reach into the back of his van to get your backpack, making sure to spend extra long bending over in your short dress. You lean onto his seat, feeling your ass press up against his arm and can only pray he’s getting a good look at it.

You eventually recover your bag from the back and sit down, body twisted towards Xavier. You prolong the inevitable, not wanting to leave his van, not wanting to leave him. There’s something about this stranger that excites you, that makes you thirst for more of him. You can’t explain it, there’s just an overwhelming attraction.

You open the door to leave his van, sliding out when he grabs your wrist. “Wait,” he protests. You stand on the step to the passenger’s seat. “Ehm,” the words get choked at the back of his throat. “I’m not in a rush, you can stay with me for a while and chat,” he suggests. “Only if you want to, obviously. You can leave too if you want, but… I think you’re a pretty cool chick.”

You purse your lips to hide a smile. “Thought I was a foxy chick,” you joke, adjusting the backpack that keeps slipping down your shoulders.

“Oh yeah,” he lifts his brows, “mighty foxy.” He nods his head, half-lidded eyes ogling you with a wide smile spread across his gorgeous face, you can’t resist him. You climb back into his van and shut the door.

You settle into the chair and he pulls out a box of cassettes from under the driver’s seat, fishing through them to find a keeper. You dig through your backpack and pull out a cherry lollipop, his eyes squinting in confusion as you unravel the plastic. “Don’t give me that look, I feel myself about to crash,” you explain yourself.

“No judgement here,” he replies, fingering through his cassettes.

You nurse your lollipop, peering into his box to find any recognizable artists, but they’re mostly mixtapes. You pluck out a black tape marked ‘Purple Rain’, the newest Prince album. “Didn’t this movie just come out?” you slur your words, lollipop sitting passively against your cheek.

He glances up. “Yes, but the album came out a while ago,” he explains, still pawing through his collection.

“Well, I haven’t heard it yet,” you shrug and shove it into the cassette player. The machine takes a moment to read the tape.

“Songs are a bit wonky and out of order, I recorded it from my friend’s album,” he confesses.

The album starts playing with a funky pop beat. “See, it’s working. Now, put that away,” you order, grabbing the box from him. “Let’s talk.”

You throw his box into the back of his van and spin towards him again. He looks up for a moment, seemingly in thought, then back at you. His enchanting light eyes capturing you from the lightening fast contact. “W-what are you running away from?” he asks with a moment of hesitation.

You take the lollipop out of your mouth. “Wow, already with the hard-hitting questions,” you tease. He stares at you, but you can’t bring yourself to meet the bright blue that sweeps you off your feet. Instead, looking at your hands and cleaning under your nails. “I guess just a bad living situation. Been house-hopping for as long as I can remember, but I basically just live out on the road now,” you meet his eyes for a second, only to embarrassedly look away.

“I get it,” he nods.

You finally look at him, sort of in disbelief. Usually the people who drive you places always lecture you about making better life decisions, finding a job, pursuing school, yatta, yatta, yatta. ‘The whole world is at your fingertips’ spiel. It takes you by surprise that he understands. “You do?”

“Yeah,” he breaks eye contact, his thumb ghosting his full bottom lip. “I was in a tough spot not long ago. We’ve grown up in the prime time of being doped up drug peddlers and I was dumb enough to fall into that bullshit. And I’m talking about the hard stuff, not like M.J. or cocaine.” I don’t do many drugs, maybe a bit of weed here and there, but I thought cocaine was a hard drug. “But,” he breaks your inner monologue, “the strongest people always go through the toughest shit.”

“Cheers to that,” you smile and cheers the air with your lollipop, penetrating the sticky candy between Xavier’s lips.  He accepts the intrusion gracefully, keeping the sweet, ravished ball of cherry between his lips. “Any summer plans?” you ask.

He takes the candy out of his mouth, the crimson orb glossing over his perfectly plump lips. “Nothing much, just teaching more classes. Got this gnarly gig up at some camp in a few weeks, should be fun,” he answers.

“I don’t know of any camps around here. Which one?” you ask, half paying attention and half peering onto the road.

“Camp Redwood.” Your head snaps back to look at him and you instinctively slap his arm in hopes it’ll get rid of the idiot in him. “What?” he shrugs.

“What’s your damage, dude?” you gasp with a facetious smirk. “Are you honestly telling me that they reopened Camp fucking Deadwood and you’re stupid enough to go work there? Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Why? What happened there?” he asks, eyebrows knit in confusion.

You sigh, you’ve been on the road for so long and even you’re more up to date on the folklore of Camp Redwood. “There was a huge massacre there. Every single person ended up dead, stabbed to bits, and all of them had one ear missing. It was a psycho killer they called Mr. Jingles because his only giveaway was the sound his keys made,” you pause to imitate the sound of keys jingling, “ching cling cling, right before he slashed them to bits!”

He smiles and squints at you, taking a moment to absorb your story. “Not even! You kind of had me until you oversold it with the keys thing,” he exclaims, waving the lollipop around as he speaks.

“Xavier, I shit you not, that actually happened,” you explain, leaning closer to him. “And the worst part is that Mr. Jingles is still alive today. Probably waiting for the day that that fucking camp reopens to escape the loony bin and do it all over again,” you make your voice low to freak him out.

He scoffs. “So what? I’m not afraid of some drip named Mr. Jingles. If anything, he should be the one scared of me.”

You laugh a little too hysterically at his comment. “Mhm, yeah right,” you mock. “He’d take one look at your George Michael lookin’ ass and run in the opposite direction,” you deliver sardonically. You fetch your lollipop and slump back into your seat, turning the dial up on the radio. A song with a raunchy beat starts up and both you and Xavier exchange a glance. “What song is this?” you ask, puckering your lips against the lollipop.

He clears his throat, “S’called Darling Nikki.”

“Mmm,” you lean back in your seat, but keep your eyes locked on him. “It’s pretty sexy.”

He nods. “It is.”

His eyes meet yours, pink tongue running over his bottom lip. You shove the candy into your mouth, sucking on the sweet taste of artificial cherry. The song puts you in the mood. Not that you weren’t already in the mood, but it offers the perfect opportunity to stop beating around the bush.

You close your eyes and tilt your head back, bobbing on the lollipop in your mouth until the savory ball hits the back of your throat. Gagging, you pull it out of your mouth slowly, opening your eyes and giving Xavier a knowing look.

He slowly exhales watching you, now leaning against his seat and lightly covering the bottom of his face with one large, veined hand. “Holy shit,” you hear him breathe.

The lollipop clings to your lips before bursting out, keeping a connection through a filthy pink string of saliva. It detaches and smacks against your chin. You keep your eyes peeled on Xavier and he studies your mouth. You slap the candy against your sodden tongue and slurp up the mess you made, keeping the lollipop pressed against your lips. “You’re a nasty girl, aren’t you?” he whispers, white teeth tugging slightly at his lip. Fuck.

“You want to see something nasty?” you ask, leaning the passenger’s seat back in preparation. “I’ll show you something nasty.”

You suck on the lollipop one more time, slobbering on it just before it’s completely drenched in your saliva. Leaning back on the seat, you hike up your short dress and expose your favourite skimpy panties. After building up so much tension between the two of you, your pussy is already wet and craving the touch of his big hands.

You rub your clit in circles before pulling the fabric to the side. Xavier’s eyes watch every movement as you trail the drenched lollipop down your body, stopping at your pussy. You run the cherry-flavoured orb down your folds and press it against your tight hole. You apply pressure until it penetrates and let out a soft moan. Recalling how long and fat Xavier’s cock was in his dirty movie, you can’t imagine how it would ever fit inside of you.

You shove the lollipop further into yourself, trying to stretch yourself out a little bit in readiness for Xavier. Wiggling the stick around inside yourself and pushing it to the point of nearly disappearing inside your hole. You shimmy it some more before dragging it out against the resistance of your retentive walls. Reinserting the candy into your mouth and getting a saltier flavour this time.

Xavier shifts around in his seat, erection booming in his tight pants. A palm over his crotch for readjustment, he leans closer to you. You can feel the warmth of his body, it makes you tingle. “I find it rude not to share,” he finally speaks.

You take the lollipop out of your mouth and veer yourself towards Xavier, setting a small kiss on his lips. He puts a hand on your cheek, guiding more of your kisses towards him, while the other hand crawls down your body. His hand stops on your thigh and you feel a thousand goosebumps erupt on that leg, a shiver running through your veins.

His lips don’t part from yours, fusing with your face and sucking ever so gently on your lips. He combs his hand towards your pussy, fingertips grazing your thighs as he inches to the throbbing in your clit. You bring the candy back down to your folds, but he takes it from you, insistent on that whole ‘sharing’ rule.

Xavier leaves your lips for a moment to spit down onto your wet cunt, rubbing the candy against your slit before pushing into your hole. Once again, it demands a meager moan out of you, this time you moan onto Xavier’s lips. “That’s right, moan for me, baby. Moan for daddy.” You summon more moans as he fucks the lollipop into you, playing them up to turn him on even more.

You gnaw on your lip and look at Xavier, light sobs still faintly spilling from the back of your throat. You must seem irresistible to him because he mashes his lips into yours and leaves your pussy to place both hands on your face, pulling you closer to him. You pull out the candy he left inside of you and detach from his kiss to pop it into his mouth.

Xavier grabs both of your wrists and slips into the back of his van, bringing you along with him. He sucks all your juices off of the lollipop before spitting it out onto the floor. As he takes a seat in the back, you sit next to him, resting both of your legs on his thighs as you two join at the lips once again. His hands brush up and down your legs, feeling the rapid growth of goosebumps with each swipe.

The kiss intensifies, tongues colliding and lips smacking. You pull at his tank top as if silently begging him to take it off. A new song begins and he moans against your lips, pulling away eagerly and leaving you lovestruck, leaning in an awkward position and trying to reorient yourself. He slides away from you and pulls his top off over his head, then begins undressing you as well, pulling for your dress to come off. You lay onto your back and shimmy your dress off, still wearing a bra and panties set. In a matter of seconds, you’re skin to skin and Xavier is on top of you, teasing you with soft kisses. His lips pulling away to mouth the lyrics: “Baby, baby, baby. What’s it gonna be? Baby, baby, baby. Is it him or is it me?”

You bring him back, kissing the sweet cherry off of his lips. His hands rough up your body, grabbing a hold of every bit of you like he hasn’t touched anybody in years. One hand squeezing your hip while the other finds your cunt to rub back and forth on your swollen clit. When you push back from his kiss, pardoning a loud groan, he kisses your neck. He savours you, handles you like a prize possession, it makes you feel warm.

You palm the bulge in his briefs, feeling him grow and heat up under your touch. His breath catches and he jerks his waist away from you. You pause your kiss to shoot him a flustered grimace. “I want this to be about you, baby, not me,” he explains, before giving one more kiss on your lips. Then one on your neck, chest, belly, down to your pelvis. You let out a broken breath when he kisses right above the line of your panties. He slides them down your legs and taunts your aching clit with his delicate breath; appointing extra sloppy kisses on your thighs as he works his way to the main dish. He looks up at you, baby blue eyes unabashedly beaming with excitement before diving into your candied cunt.

You throw your head back as he begins licking you up and pushing your legs further apart. The pleasure so built and intense that you feel it hit the moment he lays his tongue flat onto your dripping core. You feel your muscles quivering under his lick, under his touch, and your body burns with desire. One hand lays limp on your leg while the other continues pulsing your clit, his tongue shoves its way down your gaping hole.

You reach down to grab onto him, grab onto something, anything. He holds up his hand and you lace your fingers with his, squeezing at each undeniable moment of pleasure. You scrunch up your feet as he quickens the pacing over your clit, then slowing it down. He plays your pussy like a gifted musician, speeding up and slowing down just when you need him to. “Please fuck me,” you beg, the words pouring out on their own, “Xavier, I want you inside of me.”

He stops gluttonously licking up your cunt to look up at you for confirmation on your words. “Y’sure?” he questions, making sure there are no misconceptions.

You prop yourself on your elbows, raking a hand through his perfectly gelled, thick head of hair. “Unless you’d like to stay down there, daddy,” you say, squeezing him between your thighs slightly on the pet name.

“Baby, I can stay down here forever,” he lays his head on your leg and you sit up, pulling him to meet your lips. His kiss makes the world feel dreamlike, so tantalizing and hypnogogic that you swear you’re tripping on acid when he touches you.

He gives an unexpected slap to your raw cunt and you jump, unable to hold back a short peep hiccupped into Xavier’s mouth. He smiles. “I love making my kitten purr,” he whispers into your lips, slapping you once again and you chirp another calculable yelp.

Xavier climbs on top of you with his lips pressed passionately against yours, fighting for dominance. His long fingers grip the back of your neck while his thumbs massage the curve of your jaw reverently. His big hands soon venturing to other parts of your body, running down your back and promptly unhooking your bra like a burden that could no longer be adjourned. The fabric falls artlessly and Xavier paws at your breasts before he can even see them. Still locked on your lips, he circles a finger around your nipple, motivating them to get hard sooner than you’d expected. Nipping at the tiny buds, he leaves your lips to suckle them; running his tongue against your areola and giving strong sucks. You appreciate the moment so much, watching Xavier suck on your tits like his life depended on it, that you completely forgot you were in his van.

You reach down to his crotch and he lets you this time. Rubbing his long cock in his briefs, feeling how rock-hard he is turns you on even more. A shudder rumbles through your body and you take his dick out. It’s already ready for you, long and thick, harder than ever. He stops worshipping your tits to kiss you again, this time lightly pushing you down so you lay in the backseat of his van.

He stands over you, holding his cock and spitting onto it to lube it up for you. He rubs his saliva onto the head and up and down the shaft before resting it on your hole. You prop yourself up to watch it go in, feeling your heartbeat quicken with each tiny amount of pressure he puts. “Are you ready for it?” he asks, smearing the head into your wet folds.

“Mmm,” you moan, just feeling his cock against you is enough to send you to euphoria. “Yes, daddy.” He slowly starts pushing himself into you, stretching you out so much that all you can do is stifle a moan. Your nails dig into his seats, no doubt leaving some kind of mark or even some polish flakes. “Slow, slow, slow,” you plead through gritted teeth.

He accommodates and moves into you at a snail’s pace, stopping every so often when he thinks he’s hurt you. Once he’s half in, he starts pumping in and out, stuffing you up with his chunky length. “Oh my,” is all you can contrive through deep breaths.

He sees how unravelled you’ve become and leans down so you could rest your head on his shoulder. “Hold onto me,” he requests. You follow orders, grabbing onto his back and guiltily digging your nails into him with every thrust. “Let me know if I’m hurting you,” he whispers into your ear.

The rational part of your brain has already called quits on taking his dick, but you’re too charmed by Xavier to tell him to stop. Of course there’s the pain, but his cock is so deep and so big that it vellicates a sensitive area inside your pussy that you’ve never felt before. Each plunge poking at it slightly and stimulating it just enough to keep you from surrendering to his length. You’ve explored your body enough to find your g-spot, but he tickles an area that’s causing you to completely shatter. He pumps again and you feel yourself loosening up to him, although that doesn’t stop your nails from clawing up his back.

All the pain you’ve felt is absorbed into overwhelming thrill. You sit up even more now and watch his cock pump into you, your pussy accepting more of him with each thrust. He keeps hitting that spot in you and your whole body tenses up with it. You look at him, trying to find his eyes, but he’s too lost in your pussy to meet yours. What kind of witchcraft is he doing to make me feel this way?

His hands, resting on your lower back, scooch you closer to him. He doesn’t even have to move much for the both of you to feel elated, just a slight wiggle is enough for you to feel everything. You sit up on his thighs and grind your hips against him. “Your pussy,” he whispers between breaths, “so fucking good, kitten.”

Your cunt writhes with each little movement, you can feel yourself dripping onto him. “Ugh’m God!” you throw away your integrity and scream. “Jesus Xavier, oh my…” you trail off, rolling your eyes back and feeling him hit that sensitive spot again. Your tendons tightening, teeth grinding, and eyes shutting with every movement.  

You lean your chin on his head, still slightly rocking your hips, but unable to bring yourself to complete the motion from crushing alleviation. His forehead is perched on your shoulder as he tries shimmying around inside your pussy. He’s too far gone to form a sentence, too. He holds onto your back, rests his head on your shoulder and breathes rapidly onto your chest. His eyelashes give your collarbones light butterfly kisses while he blinks himself back into reality.

The song is at its climax when you take the initiative to try to finish, unsure if you can even bring yourself to conclude this little affair. You start grinding harder against him, both of you undoubtedly withholding groans to save face. You rock yourself on him harder and he finally allows himself to make eye contact with you again. A pleading look in his pool-of-blue eyes already tell you everything you need to know without saying a single word.

You fuck him as hard as you can burying your head into the crook of his neck. You take in the smell of his cologne, now mixed with sweat. It smells so good. He contributes by gyrating himself inside of you.

“Fuck!” the word weeps out without your consent. You feel yourself unwinding, again you feel it coming with each thrust, the shattering. “Oh, my fuck! Daddy, your cock is so f-fuck!” you’re crying, jumping on his rock-hard dick.

“Shit,” he seethes under you, grabbing your hips and guiding them into his cock. “You fuck me so good, baby girl,” he groans.

You jump on him, his dick so deep you think it’ll push on your belly. “Son of a- huh,” you breathe, feeling yourself starting to come. You keep beating up that tender spot deep in your cavity, providing it all the love it was once deprived and smacking it with each stimulating bounce on his cock. “Yesyesyesyes,” you don’t take a breath, “ooh there.” You keep pummelling him into you, Xavier is close too. “Right. Fucking. There,” you breathe between each jump.

You can’t get any words out when orgasm engulfs you. You stand up to prudently pull his length out of your clingy lips, giving your clit a rub before soaking his cock in your juices. “Shiiiiit,” you moan, squirting a clear liquid out of your hole and all over him, all over his van.

“Damn, baby,” he utters. You feel a single tear drop escape your eye and swat it away before he can see. Without a word, you insert him back into your, now soaked, hole; not leaving until you’ve made him come as hard as you did. You slide him back inside of you, his length hitting you all at once again. It seems to hit him hard too, because his face knots the deeper you insert him. “Fucking tight,” he sighs.

He pushes you to lay back again and starts hammering himself into you. You moan with his harder thrusts, feeling him fill you up makes you fall apart; your whole body feels weak. He can’t control himself, contorted moans escape from deep in his throat. “Where do you want daddy’s come?” he asks, trying to hold himself together, but fails miserably.

“Right in my dirty mouth,” you reply, licking up your bottom lip.

He rolls his eyes back, “Oh, fuck you,” he says with a slight laugh. His smile immediately dissipating to a twisted expression. You feel him coming to release, his grip on your arm gets tighter and he pounds harder into your pussy. He pulls himself out of you and jerks his long length above your face. You obediently open your mouth and lay your tongue flat for him to use up.

He takes a second, zealously jerking himself over you, until he empties his seed onto your tongue. You feel the warm liquid hit your tongue and immediately swallow it down for him. Pressing your lips to the tip of his cock, giving a suck to clean him up and a small kiss on the tip.

He breaths out an exasperated sigh and limply lays down on top of you. “Get off,” you giggle, “you’re crushing me.” He rolls onto his side beside you and you roll onto yours so you’re facing him. He holds out his hand, wiggling his fingers with a small frown. You grab his hand and band your fingers together, he smiles when you accept his invitation. A moment of silence is shared between the two of you, not awkward, just comfortable.

“You know you’re the only one,” he says, a slight crack in his voice. You lift an eyebrow in response. He looks down at the hand you’re holding onto, “Everybody that knows about that tape doesn’t believe me. They think I’m gay or… they just cast me out for even doing it in the first place,” he opens up, caressing your knuckle with his constricted thumb. You stay silent, letting him get it off his chest and studying the woe that washes over his face. “I don’t know,” he gives his head a slight shake.

“Fuck those people,” you shrug, “you don’t need them anyways.” His pillowy lips twist into a smirk. You use your free arm to prop up your head. “Besides,” you continue, “they don’t know what they’re missing. You snooze, you lose, right?”

He smiles. “I like you, y/n,” he sighs. “I’m not letting you slip through the cracks.”

You unbind your hands to move a piece of hair that was stuck to his forehead. “Don’t worry about me leaving, I have no where to go. I’m all yours, baby,” you say with a jokey tone, but you hope he takes you seriously. He’s usually easy to read, like an open book, but when his face turns neutral it’s agonizing to imagine what’s going on in that pretty head.

“So… you want to meet my friends?” he asks, breaking the silence.

You cock your head to the side. “Huh?”

“Come to Camp Redwood with me?”

~~~~

smallest fucking taglist:

@codyswhore @odongreentea @liliesandforgetmenots @avesatanormalpeoplescareme

[dayasbun]

Fame - Angus Cloud (5)

Summary- a luckily timed audition leads to you falling for your new and unexpected co-star.

Warnings- okay HI welcome to my first multi chapter series woah?! this is actually so exciting for me like wow especially since angus doesn’t have any fics yet im just really really excited- so warnings! smut for sure, bad words, lotsa fluff, angst- everything in one basically. here comes a ride and I hope you enjoy :)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5 {reading now}

-

You woke up to an empty bed and cold covers. With a sigh you sat up, wondering where Storm and Z had gone. Grabbing your phone, you shook your head as you read the messages on your home screen.

Babygirl Z <3: Yoooo so we dipped cuz Angus's weird-ass kinda threatened us to gtfo out cuz he wanted to spend time w you but don't tell him I told you that, I don't wanna deal w him

Lil storm!: i think the hood boy in love with you or sum- it's weird.

Angus ☁️: you free today? i got some plans for us so if you ain't you free now

Angus ☁️: i'm playin btw like if you ain't free i can change shit around

You giggled as you heard your nails click against the phone's screen as you sent responses.

-mhm i'll act like i never saw this...have a good day of filming gorgeous <3

-see storm, i highly disagree

-i'm free :) is this a date mr cloud? don’t forget we have filming today

You got up brushing your teeth and washing your face. You waited for Angus's response before picking an outfit for the day, and instead decided on making breakfast for now.

Babygirl Z <3: thanks lovely same to you!!!

Lil storm! laughed at your message

Angus ☁️: shittttt ion know maybe- n yeah ik

-i'm making breakfast, come over if you want

Angus ☁️: food?? i'm already on the way

-my trailer door is unlocked so just come in

A few minutes later you heard the heavy trailer door creak open. You flipped a pancake before turning around and facing the taller man in front of you. "Gooooood morning- you look so tired?"

"Damn, thanks Y/N you look great too!" Angus said sarcastically rolling his eyes.

"Boy, I'm kidding." You grinned wrapping your arms around his waist "How'd you sleep?"

"I slept ight, you? Any dream-"

"SHUTUP!"

"I was just checking damn, just checking!"

You let off the hug and walked back over to the stove turning off the burners. "Okay, done! Pancakes and eggs- and fruit! Can't beat that." You made both you and Angus a plate and sat them down on the small table.

You both ate with smiles on your faces, talking the whole time. You learned some more about Angus and his past, and he learned more about you and what you want your future to be like. You couldn't help but laugh when he spotted a carton of store-bought sugar cookies on your counter and insisted he eat at least five. You didn't deny his request, so he polished them off with the rest of his pancakes.

As soon as the breakfast came to a close, both of your phones dinged at the exact same time.

"That's strange," You said picking up the electrical device. You quickly unlocked it as your eyes scanned the screen, and when you finished you immediately looked up at Angus. From the look on his face, you could tell that he clearly had finished reading the message as well.

"So…" he said quietly.

"Yeah."

"Yep."

The text message wasn't too big of a deal, just a simple message from Mary of a suddenly new shooting schedule. You weren't worried until you reached the paragraph that made very clear that instead of shooting you and Angus's sex scenes next week, or possibly two weeks away, they would be shot tomorrow and for the rest of the week.

Shooting the scenes wasn't exactly the problem, it was the caliber of the scenes that you two would be shooting that was the problem. Also the fact- that though there isn't much talking during the sex scenes- you would have to memorize the lines of the new episode. Even though you and Angus were more comfortable with each other, sex scenes were not anything that you two were ready for, you guys hadn't even kissed yet, whether that was a real kiss, or a kiss practicing for the scene.

"I think we need practice."

"I agree."

"So uh..." He turned red as he picked at his nails.

You let out a sigh. "Okay so look. Basically, the scene just consists of me being naked, you being naked as well, but they're going to jimmy rig something so that obviously we aren't actually doing it. Mary told me in my message that I would have some type of pad over my you know what, and you would have some type of cup on."

"But-"

"I'm not done, wait. There are covers over us; so even though I have to give the effect of riding you, I'll just kind of be awkwardly rubbing my padded- you- know- what up against the cup."

"Okay, don't we make out before?"

"Yeah, we do." You stood up and rinsed off the plates. After placing them in the dishwasher, you turned back to your male co-star. "Okay, so it's about 11 AM right now. If we practice our lines, make out some, and I awkwardly ride you clothed in my bed, I think we should be fine..what about your plans?" You asked softly.

"It’s ight, they can wait. But there's another scene- where I smash you from the back. That's the part where I gotta show my cheeks man, damn I don't wanna show my cheeks!"

You laughed a bit "You'll be fine... tomorrow we'll be shooting probably just making out, then the next day the riding scene, and then the day after that more. And I know this seems kind of shitty, but if you read over other peoples paragraphs besides just ours, a lot of their sex scenes were moved up too, and some of the pairings are a bit weird and unexpected."

"Okay let's stop talking about it and just do it."

You nodded and silently walked into your small bedroom, sitting on the messy bed. You hadn't made it because, well you didn't exactly expect to have Angus in your bedroom, let alone to do this.

"So..."

You turned to look at him with a raised brow, "What?"

"So imma kiss you."

Why did that one sentence make your heart. Skip. So. Many. Fucking. Beats.

"Yeah well, that's what the script says right?"

He nodded and licked his lips. "Come get on my lap."

"Why? That's not in the-"

"It'll be more comfortable, especially if we doing this for a minute."

You took in a breath as you went over and straddled his lap, your legs around his waist, and your arms resting comfortably on his shoulders, wrapping around his neck.

You looked into his eyes, and god they were just gorgeous. "Angus.." You said softly.

"Yeah?"

And for .2 seconds you actually debated telling him- telling him that when you kissed him, you didn't want it just to be practice for the show. Telling him that you felt like you lived for the nights that he would facetime you and tell you dumbest shit that would just have you dead tired the next day. Telling him how much he made you laugh, and how it made you so unbearably happy every time you saw his name and knew it was the cause of your phone screen lighting up. Making sure he knew that the past 2 months of your life had gotten so much brighter just because of him.

You didn't though.

But if you had? He would've told you how he felt the exact same way. He would tell you how he loved how your eyes sparkle in the sunlight, how he loved how your nose scrunched up when you laughed. About how you were the only person who would listen to his dumb Mandela effects, even though he knew you didn't believe in all of them. And how it made him blush every time you sent him a mirror selfie on Snapchat for your streak- which he always lost.

But neither of you said anything.

Instead, you made out for a full 32 minutes with absolutely no passion, no lust, no nothing. Too scared to open up to the other due to the fear of rejection.

Until he got hard.

Again.

And that was your little 'ding!' to let you know yet again, 'he wants you.'

So your hips began to move {finally, after 32 minutes of dead nothingness} and you and Angus's lips began to fight for dominance. His hands moved from being awkwardly placed on your sides to under your shirt on your waist. Feeling his hands on your bare skin, you let out a soft moan into his mouth- which you could tell completely caught him off guard.

"Fuck you moaning for?" He teased, still not letting off of the kiss.

"For you."

He bit your lip causing you to moan yet again, your hips still bucking against his hard-on- holy fuck that felt a lot better than it should've. You grinned a bit as you felt his beard brush against your face.

"God. you're so hot."

'Oh my god' you thought, 'It's happening.'

"Baby, I have nothing on you." You replied seductively, sliding your hand down from his shoulder to his crotch.

"Fuck Jess..."

You grinned as he- wait what?

Jess- right, your characters name. Reel it in, you told yourself. This is just acting, nothing more. Just acting. Though you stayed into it, something about him calling you Jess turned you off a bit. After 10 more minutes or so you stopped, getting off of his lap and sitting on the side of him.

“Wel-”

“Yeah, that was good!” You quickly cut him off. “I definitely think our awkwardness has melted away a bit.”

“But don’t you wanna talk-” 

“We have some scenes to film at 1, its 12:30 right now so we should head to wardrobe.”

Angus looked at you with a confused expression on his face, but just nodded slowly and stood up following you out.

All you two had to film was the scene of you coming back, so it was a calm and chill collection of scenes to go through. Everything ran smoothly, and by the time you two were done around 9PM, you were as tired as could be.

“You're such a good fucking actress Y/N.” Angus complimented you as you two walked back to his trailer. He offered you to stay over for the night- just to sleep of course- and you couldn't reject the offer even if you wanted to- which you didn't want to. “Thank you,” you replied softly. “You’re quite talented as well.”

“Nah girl, I'm just being me.”

You two went into his warm trailer talking of filming the scenes, and how tired you both were. You both tried to avoid the topic of the scenes you had to film tomorrow and for the rest of the week; though you were supposedly ready, it was a strangely sore topic.

Soon showers were taken, clothes were changed, and all that was left to do was cuddle.

Angus flipped off the lights and then crawled into the bed with you. You moved closer to him, listening to his rapid heartbeat as you traced hearts on his chest. “Night Redhead.” you said softly, placing a kiss against his cheek.

“Goodnight Mamas.”

And as you lay next to him listening to his light snores, you thought about something. You thought about how though today had been so amazing, and finally, you felt as though the awkwardness had melted away… it was all acting.

Angus didn't like you; that's what you told yourself. Any man would get hard if an attractive woman was sitting on his lap, so that was self-explanatory. Any man would call you baby during a heated moment, any man would talk dirty to you in a heated moment. And a good man like Angus would always make you feel comfortable when you practiced for a scene- that's all he was doing, he wanted you to feel comfortable.

You couldn't be hurt about the situation, the whole point of doing any of that was just practicing for the scenes. And after all, Angus called you Jess, not Y/N.

But at the same time, a little part of you wouldn't stop screaming that you really really really wished he had said your name instead. A little part of you-

Your thoughts were interrupted by the soft glow of your phone lighting up along with a light vibration. A smile appeared on your face as you saw who the message was from.

Babygirl Z <3: GIRL

Babygirl Z <3: BABES ARE YOU UP??!

-yeah you okay? what's wrong?

Babygirl Z <3: shit I'm sorry but i have to tell you this

-what's wrong????? are you okay?

Babygirl Z <3: I'm fine but

-?????

Babygirl Z <3: fuck don't hate me ily okay this is for the best just remember that

-Z get to the point...

Babygirl Z <3: okay so...storm and i just did some digging and

-and?

Babygirl Z <3: and we think Angus got a girl back @ home

-

taglist:

@nikkixostan @melaninmarvel @celiajrs @siriuslycollins @patientplum @babygurlbarnes

[kkyuproof]

Jikook/Kookmin Fic Rec Part 1

(Part 2 Here)

I’ve slowly been building up my list of KM fics and thought I might as well share them with the rest of the Tumblr-sphere (and organize them all because if the rest of my life is a mess, at least my fav fics can be orderly amirite)! I’m somewhat new to BTS and KM so it’s not too big a list, but I’m going to be updating this as I find more that I enjoy :) Happy Reading! 

(most of these are probs old fics because like i said IM NEW HERE IM SO SORRY, but i hope you still find it helpful idk man)

Mostly Fluffy Fics

you are the ruler of the stars (and my heart) by cygnus (sunsprite) | Words: 18k | Jimin reluctantly joins his college’s Space and Astronomy club on the basis of Taehyung’s persuasion. Surrounded by a group of unnecessarily tall space nerds, he unexpectedly finds himself falling in love with one of them.

OH MY GOD THIS WAS SO CUTE. One of my fav fluffy fics to be honest. I was squealing basically the whole time i was reading. love.

i’ll stick to you like glue-cose by cygnus (sunsprite) | Words: 7k |  Jimin merely wanted to study in peace, yet a certain five-foot ten frat boy -- unfortunately also a past hookup -- that epitomizes the very definition of smugness in one entire body whose ego is as big and full-scaled as the national debt, won’t let him.

Another super cute fluffy fic!!! i just found this author and the fluff is just so amazingly written and not cliche at all and ugh. JK acts like he’s all suave but he’s really just a big softie and AH. 

friday nights (with you) by kstorms | Words: 24k |  How a random night at a karaoke bar leaves Jimin with two new friends and a frowny, terribly handsome crush.

Anther classic tbh. I think I’ve read this through like four or five times bc i have literally no life and enjoy this VERY well written humor. There’s like zero angst in this and it’s all mostly Taehyung being a very cute little shit to JK (KM is there obvs and they super cute but ya know). Def a must read.

competency at its highest potency by MauveTarte | Words: 10k | State-Sponsored Runs are the excitement of every Alpha and Omega youth.

Or,

Jimin has one final chance at this bonding thing before his life goes to shit.

the one and only ABO fic i’ve read with NO SMUT. that’s right, ya heathens! this one is solely plot driven (and super fluffy). It’s cute af and Taehyung is an amazing friend :)

(my heart beats) for you by sabotagemyheart | Words: 17k | In which Jungkook, as a child, befriends the exceptionally adorable, small and friendless Jimin, not knowing that after a few years, he’ll be wrecking this very boy underneath himself making him whimper out his name.

okay LISTEnn. This summary makes this fic sound a lot dirtier than it is (ok yes it’s smutty BUT there’s more fluff in this than anything else. its so so so cute.)

Mostly Smutty Fics

Studio 2 by Charmander | Words: 20k WIP | Somewhere along the way, Jimin lost that passion he used to pour into his art, watching as it slipped through his very fingers. But street kid Jungkook is all heart and soul, and he’s more than willing to help Jimin learn to burn with the same fire he carries inside himself.

okay so this one is very plot heavy (as is most of Charmander’s fics) so don’t think you’re getting JUST smut. it has an amazing storyline about sexuality struggles and i think a lot of you would enjoy it! (the smut is bomb af tho sooo) 

Starstruck by SugaTheTurtle | Words: 5k |  Everyone is attracted to idols at one point or another. As part of Big Hit’s staff, Jimin really shouldn’t still be as attracted to Jungkook as he was at the beginning. Maybe if he wasn’t he wouldn’t be stuck hiding inside a closet in his dressing room silently praying that the idol was reaching for the zipper on his pants to change into something more comfortable.

ALRIGHTY HERE WE GO LADIES AND GENTS. This is for all you kinky fuckers out there who love pure smut. It was very interesting at first but as it progressed i was like whoaoaa i need some holy water. this fic is the epitome of “well, that escalated quickly” (but it’s still not rushed ??? which like...how?) enjoy! lmao.

Interlude by Bunbungee | Words: 9k | Jungkook has fallen in love at first listen with Jimin’s interlude and he won’t stop until he finds out why he is reacting so strongly to it. His search for answers takes a new turn when, one night, he discovers just how much the song can affect him.

Okay this was smutty, but still SUPER CUTE bc jeon is his typical shy bunny self who’s super oblivious and jimin is just a sweetheart. looooove.

Wet Depths by WorldwideWriter | Words: 10k | All it takes for Jungkook to break is a slightly unfair swimming competition and a too seductive Jimin.

GIVE ME ALL THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS FICS hell yes. I love their dynamic in this one, they hate each other (but they really don’t lol like come on.) and the sexual tension is insane.

everybody’s watching him, but he’s looking at you by jonghyunslisterine | Words: 6k|   In which Jimin formulates a three-step plan to get the hot bouncer to notice him. (Spoiler: it doesn’t go quite as expected.)

okay this is smutty but also super cute so like idk where to put it but jimin wears a thong in it so i think the smut category will suffice. a quick read but so worth it, JK is a lowkey sweetheart.

Blood & Chocolate by MyHope (CutesyMe) | Words: 35k | “What if I only want you to sit on my lap?” the stranger asks, which is an odd request. People always want Jimin to dance for them. Only sometimes do they ask of him to just sit on their lap but event hen he has to move in some way and not just sit still.

“Same price,” Jimin retorts.

Jungkook spreads his legs slightly and motions to his lap as if it’s the best seat that has ever been offered to Jimin. “Be my guest.”

so i don’t really know what to say here but i loved their dynamic in this fic?? i love the way JK treats JM in this ahhhh its SMUTTY AF but he still super sweet and protective.  There’s sooooome angst but it’s not too bad. Good plot.

New Heights by Charmander | Words 11k| There’s no better way to remind yourself that you’re alive than tempting fate from 700 meters above the ground and the searing touch of another’s fingers dragging down your chest.

1000% my favorite smut fic out there. the dialogue written in this fic is so well-done and absolutely hilarious. Sexual tension is CRAZY. love his fics.

give in to the game by cherrygloss | Words: 23k | “Jimin, if you honestly think that I’m going to pretend to be your boyfriend so you can make your ex jealous, then you’re out of your mind.”

im s oRRY, i know this is mostly smut aljfdlkaldfj my thirsty ass has bookmarked so many smut fics but i can’t help it oof. but this is super cute smut with some feeliins.

Nu ABO: A Memoir by Park Jimin by decompositionbooks | Words: 34k | The world didn’t think it was necessary to give him a guide when it shoved all of these omega hormones at him, so here it is, Park Jimin’s handbook to dealing with heats, unrequited love, and Jeon Jungkook.

WOOH another classic! I live for jealous/protective!JK idk its just super cute. my fav ABO fic!!

two sides; same story by namjoone | Words: 12k | Okay, so maybe Jimin thinks his neighbor is hot.

A little.

Okay, maybe a lot.

haha ohhhh man i love mutual pining. they’re both totally dumb at the beginning of this and i live for it. also some hoottttttt ass smut. (bc i need jesus at this point)

Not a Girl by PinkBTS | Words: 8k | Jeongguk isn’t sure what he did in his previous life to deserve this but he probably screwed up big time...he’s kinda grateful though.

A story about Santa, assumptions and thick-rimmed glasses.

AHHHHH  this is so funny and awkward and hot and EVERYTHING. I live for frat!bangtan with my whole heart. 

Downpour by kikistiel (Kikai) | Words: 15k | Jimin doesn’t know what it is. But now, he’s not sure he’s ready for summer to be over just yet.

IM SCREAMING. This was almost poetically good (aka A+ writing oh my gerrrd). It’s kinda angsty too like a bit but its also so sweet i love it :( go read pls.

How to Seduce Your Dance Teacher by Jeon Jungkook by soranosuzu | Words: 5k | Currently there are a million thoughts racing through Jungkook’s brain, but two very prominent ones finally beat their way to the forefront of his mind. First, Jimin is hot as hell and Jungkook needs to find a way to get into his pants. Second (and maybe slightly more urgent than the first), Jungkook needs to find a way to prevent himself from popping a boner every time Jimin does that in the future and, more importantly, right now.

(aka AU in which Jungkook devises a plan to seduce his ridiculously hot dance teacher Jimin)

HELLL YEAH. that is all.

i like how desperate you seem (in the way you look at me) by fatal (cumrich) | Words: 71k WIP | Packs merge all the time. It’s survival, Jimin knows that, but what he’s not prepared for is the attention he’s getting from a certain Jeon Jungkook, the alpha’s son.

yeeesss we got some more ABO up in this biiiiihhcc. It’s not done yet, but i strongly urge you to read!! so goooood and the smut is A1.

Mostly Angst

The Bet by jonghyunslisterine | Words: 46k |  Where Jeon Jungkook makes a bet that he can get the notoriously single Park Jimin to sleep with him by the end of the semester. 

Needless to say, things don’t go exactly as planned.

Yes i had to include this lovely classic :) Still one of my favs and probably always will be *shrug*. I’m not usually an angst person but this is like the perfect dosage for me to handle lol. If you haven’t read it yet, what are you doing with your life honestly go do it lmao.

lost stars by pjungkook | Words: 25k | Park Jimin has another maknae in his life and Jeon Jungkook is completely losing it.

have you ever felt like your heart was being smushed under an eighteen wheeler and your chest was caving in? Yeah that was me during this fic. But it’s sososo good and i promise there’s still fluff (i cannot live through angst without fluff) so READ.

Falling for you again by Rose_gold715 | Words: 30k | Jungkook loses all memory of the last five years of his life.

Jimin is scared he will never love him again.

wow okay so this one was a tear-jerker. you sympathize with both JK and JM but you’re also sort of frustrated with them at the same time?? soso good, definitely give it a read.

serendipity (none of this is a coincidence) by nclnns | Words: 30k | Jimin feels like crying.

Because the boy -- Jeon Jungkook as he had learnt a week ago -- is the exact opposite of Jimin.

And he’s the person Jimin’s boyfriend has been cheating on him with.

or

In which Jimin finds out that Taehyung is cheating on him with a boy named Jeon Jungkook and in the quest to understand what went wrong, he ends up falling in love with said boy.

so i haven’t read this one in a few months but i remember it being one of the first KM fics i had ever bookmarked, so it must have hit me in some way. JK is a sweetie though from what i remember.

On Patrol by Ragi | Words: 129k| Officer Jeon has his eyes on Mr. Adorable. Officer Min has a strange neighbor he can’t seem to keep out of his life. Captain Kim finds comfort in his son’s homeroom teacher. 

Well, cops need some loving too, right?

Okay so this isn’t like suuuuper angsty but it’s also not smutty nor super fluffy either??? So idk where to put it but i think angst fits this most. I also laughed quite a bit during this so it has humor!! Tae is also like an 8 year-old kid LDJAFODJOA (ft. Sope and Namjin)

we’re not broken just bent by calipha | Words 16k | “You’ll die,” Jimin hisses and they’re so close now that his perfect illusion is broken. Jungkook can see his dark circles, can see Jimin’s lips, red and raw from biting.

“I did almost die in this house once, five years ago,” he whispers, watching as Jimin clenches his jaw but doesn’t look away. “I think I can handle more. I’m bigger and stronger now, see?” Jimin holds his gaze for two seconds before it tracks south to move down Jungkook’s body.

MY HARRY POTTER LOVIN ASS IS VERY SATISFIED. jimin is just a misunderstood bb and jungkook is trying SO HARD not to pine ajweklfkldf.

[kyvir]

70' prompt for SasuSaku ✨❤

Drunk and Married

~*~

“Fuck!”

“Shh, just act normal.”

Sasuke glared at Sakura then. Act normal? She really wanted him to act normal… The last thing he’d expected for the night was to find blue lights surrounding them and just when he was so close to-

Earlier that night-

It was Naruto’s birthday. Of course Hinata had gone all out throwing a huge party for her husband, and everyone was there. The alcohol was limitless and everyone had a great time, though Naruto wasn’t a drinker, and he’d ended up being carried to bed long before the actual party was over.

Sasuke had a few drinks when he and Sakura had first arrived, but being that she was downing the drinks like they were going out of style, he’d long since quit drinking so he could drive them home safely.

No way in hell was he staying the night at Naruto’s with all those people. Plus, he really wanted to get Sakura home. She was drunk as fuck, and when she had alcohol in her system, Kami did she know how to work him… in all the right ways.

For the past hour she’d been giving him suggestive looks, brushing up on him purposely and even whispering naughty things in his ears. He was so worked up by then that he wasn’t sure how they’d ever make it home.

When his wife was drunk, she always had a way of making him crazy.

There were no boundaries.

That’s what led him to grabbing her drunk ass up over his shoulder and carrying her out of Naruto’s place without a word. She was laughing the whole time while going on and on about his ass as he walked. Sasuke would have normally found such a thing annoying, but he rather loved his drunk wife, and all her annoying antics.

“Oooh, Sasuke-kun. You’re being such a man! I was just having some fun, why are we leaving?” Sakura giggled.

“You know why.” Sasuke grumbled, just as he reached his car. He opened the door and leaned down to place her inside carefully. “Buckle up.” He ordered, narrowed obsidian eyes on her wide emeralds that stared up at him from her seat heatedly.

He glared at her then before stepping back and slamming the door. If she kept looking at him like that, there was no way they’d ever make it home. She was doing it on purpose. He knew she was.

Once he was behind the wheel, he started the car and glanced at her. He eyed her meaningfully until she buckled her seatbelt as he’d told her too. She huffed as she did, but did so none the less.

Sasuke got on the road, all too eager to make it home. His grip on the steering wheel was so tight his knuckles were white and his mind was far from the road. He was ignoring her presence in the car well-enough. But she’d been working him up all night and therefore, all he could see was her naked as the day she was born and sprawled on their bed, eager to have him.

It was when he seatbelt came off a moment later that he glanced at her in annoyance. “Sakura!” He pushed her back into her seat as she went about crawling over the console. “What the fuck?! I’m driving.”

“Stop being such a mean ass.” Sakura groaned, still leaning over close to him and not bothering to buckle back up.

“Soon as we get home I’ll show you a mean ass.”

“Hmm.” She reached towards him, her hand casually rubbing across his chest. He glared at her, eyebrow arching when he noticed the sadistic smirk on her face.

“Sakura.” He called her name in warning, while pulling her hand away from his body and pushing her back once more. “I’m not fucking around.”

“I like fucking around…” She murmured seductively, biting her finger.

Sasuke cursed under his breath and forced himself to ignore her and keep his eyes on the road. She obviously didn’t care about their well being at all. He knew this for a fact when she snuck her hand over to get a feel of his leg, her hand roaming from his knee to his thigh. He flinched the instant she came in contact with his length, which was already hard and ready.

“Ooh, Sasuke-kun.” She purred, her hand wrapping around him through his jeans then.

“Fucking stop!” Sasuke groaned, nearly running off the road as he pried her hand away from him. She had no idea what she was doing to him.

Sakura pouted then, he rolled his eyes when he gazed over at her and noticed this.

“Stop being like that. If you stop distracting me we can get home, and the sooner we get home, the sooner I can fuck you.”

“Mmm. But… I don’t think I can wait any longer.”

“Oh ye-” Sasuke jumped in his seat when she grabbed a hold of him again. He slammed on the breaks and forced her back into her seat and buckled her himself. “Godammit, Sakura! Stop it already.”

“You stop it.” She stuck her tongue out at him as he shook his head and went back to driving. “I don’t know why I can’t touch you just a little bit…”

“Because, I’d like to make it home. Wouldn’t you?”

“Eventually, yes.” Sakura agreed, her hand coming over to feel up his arm, across his back and up into his hair.

Sasuke’s eyes threatened to close as she massaged his head and at this point, he didn’t know what the fuck to do with her. Her nails raked down the back of his neck and he shuddered before glaring at her once more. “The fuck are you doing?” He glared harshly at her as she went about removing her seatbelt once again.

“Shh. Stop being such a pain in the ass. Just drive. Let me play.”

“We’re gonna wreck.”

“Not if you drive right.” Sakura argued as she reached for him once more, but this time, Sasuke didn’t stop her.

However, when she went about undoing his belt clumsily, he grabbed a hold of her hand. “No way in hell.”

“Just drive, damn it!” Sakura growled, slapped his hand away and proceeded to get into his jeans.

Sasuke glared at the road ahead, trying hard to think about anything other than Sakura and the way she was touching him so skillfully. The way her hand was so soft against his cock. Fuck, he couldn’t think about anything else.

“Sa-” He groaned when her mouth suddenly closed around him, the road completely forgotten as his head lolled back against the seat. “Fuck.”

By some miracle, he pulled himself together in enough time to prevent any accidents but he knew if he didn’t pull over now, they’d be in a ditch long before they made it home. The road was deserted, and so it seemed safe enough to pull over and cut the engine and deal with his current situation. Mainly his annoying wife who was just as horny as him.

“What happened?” Sakura sat up and asked when the car had come to an abrupt stop.

“Don’t ask questions.” He muttered after taking his seatbelt off and shoving his jeans and boxers down his legs.

Sakura’s brows raised in interest and she licked her lips as she stared at his erection. Sasuke took his shirt off next and tossed it in the backseat.

“Get naked.” He told her then, not missing the was she shivered at his words. She wasted no time though in hurrying to remove her panties from under her dress.

Once Sasuke had his seat as far back as it would go, he didn’t wait for her to remove her dress, he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. Sakura straddled his waist immediately, groaning the instant his cock was positioned against her entrance. Sasuke cursed, unable to believe how soaked she was, how easily he’d slipped between her folds just before she slammed herself down on him, taking him to the hilt with one swift move.

“Oh fuck!” He hissed, arms wrapping around her tiny waist and holding her tight to him.

She moaned loudly at his ear, nails digging into his shoulders as her cunt fluttered around his throbbing cock. Neither of them moved for several beats, until finally Sasuke’s hands grabbed at her ass and forced her up and then back down on him again.

Sakura whimpered as she started to move herself, her lips against his ear, her hot breath giving him endless cold chills every time she exhaled. He gripped her hips roughly when she took his earlobe between her teeth. She moved effortlessly, and with such precision that Sasuke was all too lost in the sensation of it all.

Even after a year of marriage, numerous fucks and more than enough experience, she was still so tight he could barely handle it. She was always so wet and ready for him, but more so whenever alcohol was involved and Sasuke fucking loved it. His favorite place in the world to be was buried deep inside his wife. But when she was like this, he was on cloud nine.

Her lips trailed down his neck, kissing and suckling. Her teeth scraped against him and she nipped on his neck lightly. Her fingers dug into his thick hair, tugging gently, all while she rocked her hips continuously. Before he knew it, he was on the verge of climax, every muscle he owned grew taut and a deep groan rumbled in his throat. His hands tightened on her hips when she stopped suddenly, too suddenly. He was so close.

“Fuck! Shit!”

Sakura went to scrambling off of him so quickly, he didn’t know what to think. “What the fuck, are you hurt?”

“It’s the cops!” Sakura shrieked, while straightening her dress and frantically smoothing out her hair.

Sasuke glanced through his rearview mirror, barely making out the look of blue lights flashing behind him through the fogged up windows. “Fuck!” He growled, going soft instantaneously as he hurriedly pulled his pants up and secured them in place.

“Shh, just act normal.” Sakura said just as a knock sounded on the driver window which was far too fogged to make anyone out.

“This is your fucking fault.” Sasuke snapped before turning the key to roll down the window.

Said cop was grinning quite wickedly at him as he came into view and Sasuke couldn’t help but glare at him.

“You kids out hiding from your parents?” He teased and Sasuke’s fists clenched in his lap.

Before he could lose it, Sakura interjected. “No, actually we’re married.”

“Oh?” The cop seemed even more amused then, he even laughed. “Well that’s interesting. I’ll need to see your license and registration.”

Sasuke gave Sakura a cold glare as he went about digging out his wallet. If she had only listened to him, they would have been home safely by then and fucking without issue. Yet, here they were, interrupted on the side of the road, by a cop no less.

After handing over the requested information Sasuke glared straight ahead, arms crossed over his naked chest as the cop went back to his car.

He was pissed.

“Relax, this is actually pretty funny.” Sakura giggled.

“No the fuck it’s not.” He growled.

He’d been so close, just right there and fuck… now the whole night was ruined.

As he brooded over this turn of events silently, the cop returned and handed back his license and registration.

“I’m guessing I’ve ruined your fun enough for the night.” Was the cop’s smug remark. Sasuke’s jaw tensed but he said nothing, wisely. “Go on home, do what you want there. Not here on the side of the road.”

“Thanks officer!” Sakura waved to him as Sasuke stared the car and rolled his window up without another word.

“You’re so fucking annoying.”

“Shut up and hurry home, I’m not done with you yet.”

Sasuke just shook his head. He really had no idea what he was going to do with her, but he knew he had to get home sooner rather than later. She owed him big time for this.

[yeoldontknow]

ayo bae it’s time to get lit~

what follows below is an introduction (attack) post for @igot7bangtanbaes, who has dipped her toe into the EXO water and now i would like to drown her. :3

as light of my life Kim Junmyeon once said:

LET’S GET HEATED

when EXO debuted, there originally were 12 members and they were divided into two subgroups: EXO-K and EXO-M. three members have left, so now we are left with an OT9 (but i still cherish the hell out of the past three members, they are important). eight of the members are korean and only one is chinese, so now it is time to meet your new kings. going youngest to oldest (and also because you seem hella hyped for sehun so imma start there)

Oh Sehun

the king of hearts (everyone’s heart tbh)

Name: Oh Sehun

Stage Name: Sehun

DOB: April 12, 1994

Position: (1/2) main rapper, (1/3) lead dancer, occasional vox (least we forget when he sang baek’s part in I Sing For You??)

facts as stated in the GC: maknae of the group, but also a model like he’s a prince from a different time. he often models for louis vuitton and has had spreads in vogue and marie claire, and like...he’s a king. actually, he is the lord to a small plot of land in scotland because his fans are The Most Extra and bought him goddamn Title for his birthday i cannot even. loads of people think he’s really cold and kinda stand-offish because he has the strongest resting bitch face, but he is The Biggest Softie and so Sweet. once got injured during a tour and cried, not because he couldn’t perform or that it hurt but, because he absolutely did not want to let his fans down and felt horrible. dog dad to Vivi, a white fluff made of joy. if you throw vivi replica plushies on stage at him, he will make it a point to collect them all like they are pokemon. dances like an actual rent boy and is overall, an Excellent Bias (im 90% sure this is where you will live but imma keep going to be sure).

Kim Jongin

the king of hell

Name: Kim Jongin

Stage Name: Kai

Birthday: January 14, 1994

Position: (2/3) lead dancer; rapper; vox; visual

a devil/demon here to wreck your life and smile while doing it. tbh, jongin aka nini and kai are two very different people. jongin is a soft boy. he has a silly low laugh that vibrates through his whole body and turns his mouth into a massive circle. he gets shy super easily and is always smiling. loves teddy bears, flower crowns, and fried chicken. is father to three dogs that he calls his children (no subs here just look at the smiles and cry a lot). kai on the other hand is just a torpedo of sexual tension and muscles on his abs where i didn’t know muscles could be. will smirk at you and watch with a grin as you light on fire in the aftermath. once danced so hard he destroyed his shoe. moves his hips like its a gun and you are his target. studied dance for years because that’s all he wants to do, is best friends with SHINee’s taemin. recently started acting because LOOK AT HIS FACE?? like, wow so beautiful. he is art. also super proud of how dark his skin is, which is considered v-dark culturally in korea and hopes that his children will have his skin tone, what a babe. 

DO Kyungsoo

the king of souls

Name: DO Kyungsoo

Stage Name: D.O

Birthday: January 12, 1993

Position: main vocalist

nicknamed satansoo because he takes no shit and always looks like he’d happily kill a man if it meant he could have one day of peace. very close with jongin, has a large soft spot for him (jongin may be the only person soo hasn’t actively wanted to slap). called satansoo but actually a Soft Boy; domestic AF. boy cooks (often cooks for the members), loves to read, routinely dates himself, and is very humble and kind. has a smile that can light up the earth with the force of its power. sings like an angel but is also seductive like a demon. rich chocolate vocal tones and a soft speaking voice, amazing actor. out here winning awards for his acting in recent films like boy!!

Park Chanyeol

the king of the chogidab

Name: Park Chanyeol

Stage Name: Chanyeol

Birthday: November 27, 1992

Position (under me): (2/2) main rapper; vocalist; the voice of exo; songwriter!!!; general overall talent

i will do my absolute best to keep this brief. this boy is my ult and i could wax poetic about him until the inevitable heat death of the universe. part of the beagle line with baekhyun and jongdae, cannot sit still nor control his limbs. generally is the no dance line but tries His Best and is so adorable while doing it. might not be able to dance well but does literally everything else. piano? you got it. guitar? he literally played radiohead. moog synthesizer? bought one because he could and thought it would be cool. vocals? allow me to show you his soundcloud. please live and die here. writes songs, is working his way through the athletic alphabet, raps like A Man, famously said ‘you lovin’ the size.’ once said ‘i’m yours’ on a radio station and the entire country got pregnant. overall soft boy who looks like it hurts to laugh, like it causes him physical pain to keep joy inside. amazing with kids. 

Kim Jongdae

the king of smiles

Name: Kim Jongdae

Stage Name: Chen

Birthday: May 6, 1992

Position: main vocalist

A TRUE KING OK. part of the beagle line with PCY and baekhyun. when he smiles his face is literally :} = has The Best Mouth. doesn’t think junmyeon is very funny but is simultaneously really soft for him, and will usually be among the first to praise him. is actually married to minseok - super close and have the most beautiful friendship. a literal actual ball of energy, loud as shit, and usually yelling WHY?? when he has no liquid left in his body and is sweating out his soul, he will still scream. insanely strong, stable vocals. i repeat: insanely. strong. vocals. also, coming hard for dance-line. part of EXO sub unit EXO-CBX with baekhyun and minseok. 

Byun Baekhyun

king of hoeing (idk ask @kpopfanfictrash)

Name: Byun Baekhyun

Stage Name: Baekhyun

Birthday: May 6, 1992

Position: main vocalist; also coming for the dance line

proudly gets to hold the position of tallest member of EXO-CBX. auditioned at the same time as jongdae and is know for his enthusiastic dancing. jongin once said that when he saw baek dancing it was a mess, and baek confirmed this by saing ‘it looked like mollusks dancing.’ body is double jointed and when he extends his arms it, they look like lightning bolts; thinks this might also be a disease but is ok with it. voice of literal, actual angels. looks better in smoky eye makeup than most models and is king of selfies. literally taught fans how to take a selfie. once was on instagram live and made me stare at a damn wall for 30 minutes before playing yixing’s solo album. 

Zhang Yixing

king of the entire universe

Name: Zhang Yixing

Stage Name: Lay

Birthday: October 7, 1991

Position: (3/3) lead dancer; vocalist; light of everyone’s life

even if you aren’t a soft person, you are soft for yixing. it’s one of the laws of the universe, you will always be soft for him. im going to raise an unpopular opinion and announce that i often find i prefer watching yixing dance over everyone else. when his body moves, it’s perfect into a literal art and i cry every time. the last remaining chinese member of EXO and must be protected at. all. costs. was a child actor in china before wanting to become an idol. if he could play any character in a movie, he’d like to play a dinosaur or the villain. was once told that if he wanted to improve his korean he needed to get a girlfriend. writes his own songs and plays guitar. his solo debut was the highest sales of a solo album in south korea, can you even believe. generally made of sunshine and light and love and MUST BE PROTECTED. 

Kim Junmyeon

king of money

Name: Kim Junmyeon

Stage Name: Suho

Birthday: May 22, 1991

Position: leader of EXO; vocalist

trained the longest of any member! trained for seven (7) years before making his debut with EXO, resulting in him training with most of SHINee. makes awful dad jokes and has an oddball sense of humour, but we cherish him anyway. secretly keeping abs beneath his soft tee shirts. nicknamed junmoney because he treated a lot of the members in their early days when they didn’t have money, and now they all think he’s rich. the doorman at his apartment calls him Handsome Man. messiest member but also among the most humble. always makes sure to thank everyone at awards ceremonies, refusing to leave anyone who helped them out. great at math. has a solo song called curtain that literally brought me and most of the people i know to tears within the first 90 seconds. 

Kim Minseok

king of kitties

Name: Kim Minseok

Stage Name: Xiumin

Birthday: March 26, 1990

Position: vocals; sometimes rap; moving up on the dance line

oldest member of EXO while simultaneously refusing to age. honestly, he has not aged at all. he might be a wizard. hugely popular in korea and is also holding abs of steel beneath his soft tee shirts. member of EXO subunit EXO-CBX. literally can rock any hair colour. currently getting his Ph.D and will be called Doctor Kim, i die. a general soft boy who is also a cat, but WILL WRECK YOU. boy is a pimp and will come for your ass if he detects even a moment of weakness. 

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY GIRL.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: alright? Carly: yea Ali: you want any water, pain killers? Carly: k to both Ali: can have my headphones too if you can deal with my music taste Carly: you could sing to me tho Ali: i've got the pipes, yeah but not sure anyone else wants me belting over the racket Carly: idc about them Ali: yeah Ali: one of us gotta get home with a spotless record, tho Carly: You can't get in trouble for being loud Carly: Leesha knows that Ali: she just leads a charmed life 🍀 Carly: or 🔮 Ali: Didn't need no crystal ball to see through your plans, soz babe Carly: who does Ali: got further than you had any right Ali: poor woodfield on bog watch 'til dubo now Carly: ha Carly: gave her something to do Carly: but nobodys trying it again like Ali: reckon you're right Ali: no one got that kinda deathwish Carly: trying to kill me w a stare tho Carly: she loves it Ali: hmm Ali: less sure on that Carly: i am Carly: try it tho bitch Carly: feel 🕱 Ali: got until we get back Ali: that's when the real shit begins Ali: what're you gonna do carls Carly: idk idc Carly: theyre gonna do what they want Carly: & not like my ma & da will throw a fit Ali: sure? Ali: shame Ali: hoping your Da would move Drew on Carly: im not 12 now babe Carly: & he isn't a beautiful romany lad Carly: my ma will like the look of him i kno Ali: you're 14 Ali: still got a few more years of compulsorary giving a shit about you left Carly: yea Carly: but its no big Ali: you could get expelled Carly: nah Carly: didnt go anything cuz leesha had to speak up about it Ali: you blame her Carly: nah but its facts Carly: nothing happened Ali: I don't think that's how they see it Carly: k but Carly: idc Carly: forget it Ali: k but HOW Carly: what? Carly: dont worry about it babe k Carly: im not trying to Ali: I know you're trying to avoid a freakout but Ali: fucking hell Ali: why Carly: why what? Carly: whats your problem? Ali: only the same as yours Ali: not enjoying the chaos around us or the chaos waiting at home Carly: nah Carly: but worry about your sister Carly: this is nothing Ali: no it isn't Carly: just chatter Carly: weve heard it all before Ali: you're a we now yeah Carly: ha Carly: everyone on this coach has heard it & said it is what i mean Carly: dont be jealous babe Ali: Why would I be jealous? Carly: im only playing Carly: i kno youre not Ali: Whatever Carly: dont be mad at me Carly: be fun Ali: not feeling it Carly: baby come on Carly: why tho Ali: you actually need to ask? Carly: yea Carly: i havent done anything wrong Ali: it ain't about right or wrong Ali: it's still a mess and i'm over it Ali: that's all Carly: k Carly: but ive been a mess since we met & you cba about that before Ali: i didn't say you Ali: the situation Carly: theres no situation Carly: only sex that didnt even happen Ali: forget about it Carly: nah Carly: say what you wanna say Ali: okay, the fact he's fucking ruined this entire trip Ali: Ro had to go home Ali: and Laoise is taking the opportunity to cyberbully her about it as if she's not already fucked up enough from it Ali: and he's not even a little bit sorry that he just wasted the last 3 months of her life with his bullshit Carly: None of that's my bad Carly: be mad at him not me Ali: I am Ali: but I'm mad at you for not giving enough of a shit to not get dragged down in his crap either Carly: hes not dragging me anywhere but the bathroom Ali: bullshit Carly: nah Carly: youre making it something else Carly: its not Ali: the whole bus is slagging on you Ali: half of them wanna fight you Ali: and that's cos of this Ali: its not debateable its facts Carly: and what Carly: when dont they Ali: there was no need Carly: yea there was Ali: no worthwhile one then whatever Carly: worthwhile to me Ali: i really hope so Carly: wouldve been like Ali: i don't need to hear Carly: k Carly: be like that Ali: yeah i will Carly: why do you wanna fight w me? Ali: i don't Ali: you got your priorities i got mine Carly: but youre a priority you kno Ali: its alright Ali: let's leave this drama behind Carly: how tho Carly: youre still gonna be mad Ali: yeah but that is what it is Ali: nothing's going to change Ali: we'll both deal Carly: but Ali: idk Ali: idk what we do, if you think of something lemme know Carly: im sorry Ali: me too Carly: tell me what to do Carly: i wanna make you feel better Ali: I dunno, Carls Ali: its all already done Ali: not just you, all of us Carly: lets do something else Carly: go somewhere else Carly: whatever you want Ali: Oh, that reminds me Ali: Tommy's back, he asked if you wanna go out Carly: is it k w you if i come? Ali: yeah Carly: nah its weird Ali: no it isn't Ali: i don't wanna not see you Ali: fuck that Ali: its just this trip and him Carly: i only did it cuz he said hed hook me up when we got back Carly: i dont want him Ali: its alright Ali: you don't have to explain to me Carly: its not Carly: alright isnt how we feel you kno Ali: as far as this trip goes Ali: i'll take it, babe Carly: i shouldnt have come on it Ali: nah, don't say that Ali: apart from this shit Ali: it was good, right? Carly: but this shit happened cuz im not good Carly: my heads wrecked Ali: no Ali: it didn't Ali: yeah, you went there too but so did Laoise and it coulda been any girl Carly: she didnt fuck him for a hit tho Carly: why i gotta do that Ali: that hit of revenge Ali: worse reason, to be honest Carly: yea Carly: she is the worst we kno Ali: you're not bad Carly: im not an angel like you babe Ali: yeah you is Ali: can't fool me Carly: you cant stop being nice to me Ali: and what bitch Carly: youre meant to be mad Ali: i'm sick of it Ali: its not getting us anywhere so Carly: where you wanna get to baby Ali: better Carly: we'll start tonight Carly: out w your brother Ali: yeah Ali: fucking ray of ☀ that he is Carly: ha Carly: maybe ill find a nice girl at the club tho Carly: then youll be happy Ali: i don't wanna be that bitch about it Ali: just drew, babe, c'mon 😝 Ali: please tell me i ain't that bitch Carly: ha Carly: hes no worse than ronan tho Carly: to your sister k but not to me Ali: yeah and thinking 'bout how hard Ronan sucks made you cry the other day so Ali: 👀 Carly: dont Carly: he took your vs its so sad Carly: i wouldnt let goldie take mine nah Ali: I dunno what the fuck I was thinking Carly: youre too good Carly: you think everyone is Carly: 👼 Ali: nah Ali: I mean, he ain't the 😈 but he was bad enough for my purposes Ali: my stupid ass 🙄 Carly: nah you're too smart Carly: you knew what you were doing like Carly: been there had that fight w my ma Ali: the flashbacks not needed Ali: still got that 📢 in my ear Ali: though, probably gonna lay off a bit now Drew's showed Caleb up for the good boy he is Ali: awks Carly: its my turn Carly: thanks for turning up ma & da turn into his drama Carly: then turn away cuz nothing to see Ali: yours back home rn? Carly: nah but im sure theyll get the summons if the teachers kick off loud enough Ali: shit Ali: they gonna kill ya? Carly: theyll only be mad if their hol gets cut short but like they can go again when the teachers have had a word Carly: dont need a babysitter Ali: yeah, soz we can't come back we got free drinks here 'til next week so Carly: you kno Carly: gotta draw straws for which one shows up & who gets to keep the party going Ali: 1000 on ur dad showing up then Carly: yea Carly: plot twist my nan rocks up like it hasnt been years Carly: carly who bitch Ali: bitch same Ali: missing nan gang Ali: conspiracy, like Carly: i kno where she is but she not trying to kno us Carly: family fights like Carly: boring Ali: gurl, so much in common Ali: let tommo regale you with the fuckery Ali: other peeps drama always be more fun Ali: WELL Carly: hes such a gossipy bitch Carly: ill tell him about all this so he can have fun w Ali: beat u to the reveal honey but Ali: always more scandal I probably saved him from Carly: you been chatting about me Carly: aw Ali: yeah Ali: keep my slagging on the downlow Ali: wise up lads Carly: its k cuz youre creative Carly: its all slut, slag and whore w them Ali: truly Ali: switch it up Carly: drew did skank and he was wasted so its not hard Ali: 🤢 Ali: anything drew is capable of is basal Carly: wtf does that mean tho Carly: he calls me a bitch a lot like boy thats mine and my girl's thing k bye Ali: he talks a lotta shit for such a lil bitch boy himself Ali: yeah, back off Ali: ur not part of the gang Carly: he wants to be on you so bad that id feel bad but cant cuz yea hes a prick Ali: i can't Ali: why bitch Ali: like, i'm nice the rest of the time but like, no nicer to him than any other acquaintance Ali: and rn its clear i lowkey hate Carly: cos youre you Carly: who wouldnt want that Ali: 😽 Ali: always out here hyping me up boo Carly: yea i love you Ali: i love you too bitch Carly: serious tho Carly: im sorry Carly: i hate it when youre mad at me Ali: i swear i was never mad at you Ali: who could be mad at that lil face Ali: right teachers? 🤞 Carly: ha Carly: well they saw me making a seduction face like Carly: my bad Ali: don't act like you didn't love that too lads Carly: you kno Carly: youve seen it its good Ali: willing to write that review Carly: aww Carly: so sweet Carly: id give you top marks too baby Ali: you better 😒 Ali: don't be lying to me or yourself baby 😏 Carly: ha Carly: nah youre the best Carly: no lie Ali: 😳 Carly: so cute Ali: just trying make me have a huge head to drag my cute down Carly: nah you earned those props from me Carly: put a lot of work in Ali: no slacker 💪 Carly: facts Carly: lot of fun Ali: funsized Ali: that's my secret Carly: aw Carly: but were the same size tho Ali: exactly Ali: team pocket rocket Ali: get out giant boys Carly: your boy gotta stay cuz hes not i see you bitch Ali: 😎 Ali: you said yourself, i'm too smart Carly: 🖕 Ali: how tall is my brother Ali: forgot Ali: kick him out of his own partay how rude Carly: shit Carly: sorry boy Ali: can walk on his knees if he wanna hang Carly: or hands Carly: wtf would that make a difference nah Ali: nah babe Ali: that perfect form Ali: twat 😒😂 Carly: im too sober to have thoughts Carly: no scholarship to a fancy school for me Ali: don't be fooled, he only there 'cos he can twerk good 💅 Ali: #bitchmetoothefuck Carly: fuck why you worried about me getting expelled from here if thats what it takes to go there Carly: i got this Ali: you just gon leave me like that Ali: 😞 ok Carly: nah Carly: come w me baby Ali: running away to london Ali: heard worse plans Carly: you kno Carly: be fun Carly: we always have a good time running off together Ali: no lie Ali: maybe we can crash when he goes back early to get settled 'cos he's dramatic like that Ali: lots of fit boys, can't all be gay Carly: are they allowed to fuck Carly: or is it like footballers and shit Ali: Ooh Ali: we'll have to ask Ali: good pickup line, babe Carly: i'll ask your brother if hes getting any Ali: he'll die of embarrassment 💀 Carly: aw Carly: is he a virgin serious Ali: I think so Ali: he won't say obvs, withholding that ☕ so shady Carly: i'll ask Carly: find him a cutie to do the honors Ali: 🙈 Ali: he was feeling sorry for you but he gon' wanna square up now too Carly: yea? Carly: i need the practice if i gotta fight leesha again Ali: 😒 she better stay tf away if she knows what's good Ali: still, he used to being target practice Ali: he quick tho Carly: teach me those ballerina girl moves Carly: never went as a kid Ali: aww baby Ali: i did for the hottest of secs but Carly: bet your ma has pics im hitting her up Ali: yeah, she loves pissing herself @ me, the cow Ali: you can join now, or yoga with me, your fave 😉 Carly: nah Carly: got enough teachers on my case Carly: & bitchy girls Ali: 😱 Ali: i ain't that bad, rude Carly: never you my baby Carly: youre the only one who isnt Ali: bus full of bitches Ali: sounds like a song marlene would write Carly: pitch it to her Carly: or find her in the club Ali: maybe Ali: idk if she's got a girl rn Ali: we shall see Carly: me & her Carly: weird Carly: i'll ask her if shes feeling it Ali: oh lord Ali: can't play with her like a boy tho Ali: wifey'd up before you know it Carly: nah she scares me Carly: im a good wife tho Ali: you is Ali: but you wanna be? Carly: what? Ali: you don't wanna be no wifey Carly: not hers Ali: as long as not his either then we good Carly: ha Ali: 👀 Carly: what you saying w those beautiful eyes boo Ali: i see u and ur lack of a response is what i'm sayin Ali: honeyyyy Carly: dont Carly: i said about him before thats it Ali: i'm just playing Carly: dont Carly: he thinks it too Carly: such a prick Ali: i'm soz baby Ali: he thinks everyone loves him as much as he does Carly: yea Carly: i need to find a new dealer Ali: honey, in this town? done is done Ali: find one tonight Carly: so smart

[mclennunf]

This Boy - Chapter 15

A/N: thank you all for reading  - i hope you're enjoying :) uhm... warning. sexual content.. like very sexual.. side note this is my first time writing anything like this so i apologize in advance

~John's~

George and I had been hanging out on breaks at school, meeting with Paul and practicing music for our new band -The Quarrymen- and I realized that George was actually a cool lad to hangout with, even if Paul wasn't there. He was much better than I was on the guitar, but of course I would never mention that to him. George was like Paul's younger brother, they were just that close. Everyday we met just around the corner from Paul's house and walked to school, chatting about the song George had just learned, or the new record one of us had gotten. But today we met at Paul's.

It was Paul's first day back at school.

George and I both knew Paul was nervous, even though he wouldn't admit it. He had healed up very nicely, but his one rib didn't quite heal the way the doctors had hoped - it still bothered him immensely on a bad day, but for the most part my bluebird was back to normal.

George and I waited patiently outside Paul's house, smoking cigarette after cigarette. "Think he's gonna bail?" George asked me. Probably, cause of good ole Johnny being here. Bloody hell, I had been doing so well without the voices recently. I think it had something to do with Paul doing so well.

"He might. I hope not though, he's gotta get back inta' the groove, y'know?" I said, kicking a rock into the street. "Ah, if it's not my two favourite band mates!" We heard Paul's voice and whipped our heads around. He was standing on his doorstep with a wide smile, his uniform tie loose and crooked. "How are you feelin' mate?" George asked as Paul approached us. I flashed Paul a very sweet smile. "I'm feeling quite grand today, actually." Paul smiled as we began to walk. It was so relieving to see him this way. Not gonna last bloody long with you around. I shook my head and began to focus hard on blocking the voices out. I needed to be here and be focused for Paul. It was hard enough knowing I wouldn't get to be with him all day.

"If that bloody little prick Ritchie gives ye' a hard time, ye tell 'im to come find us, we'll teach him a bloody lesson." George said as he flashed his fang-like teeth and nudged my arm. "Aye, we will lad!" I agreed with him as we approached the school. "I've gotta run inside early, got a few things t'take care of. See ye at lunch, lads?" George asked. It was extremely obvious that he had nothing to do, he just wanted to leave us alone.

No, I hadn't told him about Paul and I, if that's what you're thinking. George either had an idea about what was going on and didn't want to ask any questions, or he thought that we liked our time alone. Either way, I think he knew. We waved and nodded, agreeing to meet him later.

I turned and looked at Paul, and just like that the world became invisible to me. Everything but his smiling face was blurry.

"Are ye nervous, m'love?" I asked, subtly touching his hand for a moment. It felt electrifying to touch him, and just a quick light touch wasn't enough. "I'm fine, John. I'm just glad to be out of that bloody house y'know? Start of a new life." Paul smiled, referring to the fact that he didn't worry about his father anymore, Mike was happy and they had a wonderful Aunt to take care of them. "I wish I could kiss you." I mumbled so that he could hear. His face lit up. "I really want to kiss you, John." Paul said as he put his hand on my forearm. Don't you wanna shag? Cause yer a bloody queer, remember?  "Ugh, fuck." I rolled my eyes.

"John, don't take this the wrong way, but have you ever thought about seeing a doctor or somethin'? Y'know, for the voices." Paul asked, getting extremely quiet. I shook my head. "Don't start, Paul.. Please." I kept shaking my head, looking down at the ground. "I'm sorry. I just worry about ye..." Paul admitted. I began to feel bad, the kid just wanted to help. "I'll think about it, okay? Just don't bring it up." I said as I tried to smile at him. "C'mon, we're going to be late." Paul said, grabbing my hand and dragging me toward the door of the school. People are gonna see. I ripped my hand out of his. Paul turned around and looked at me with an eyebrow raised and a pouty lip. "Sorry, Macca." I said sincerely. He tilted his head sympathetically; he knew I was a lunatic. He's going to leave you eventually, you're too crazy.

Unfortunately, I believed the voice that time. But that didn't mean I was going to push him away. I'd just appreciate every waking second I was blessed with by his side.

"Comin' t'class baby or do ye need some air?" Paul asked me as he stopped in front of our first period class. I shook my head and opened the door for him. The class had already started, so we quickly took our seats. All eyes were on Paul, and I could tell he was uncomfortable. Word of him being in the hospital because of his dad had spread quickly. I just hoped people would respect what he'd gone through and leave him be.

"Welcome back, Mr. McCartney." The teacher said and smiled at Paul, who nodded as he pulled out his notebook. The poor lad hated the attention.

Paul contently took notes and paid attention throughout the whole class. It was admirable, really. He looked so happy to be learning, to be normal. I was so relieved he was doing well. This was the lad I'd fallen in love with. By the end of class, Paul was just listening to the teacher with his eyes glued to the front of the room, playing with his ring. Fuckin givin' another bloke a ring. What would Julia say? I was happy I'd given him the ring. I had used the money I had saved for a new guitar to buy it, but there was no way I would tell him that. A new guitar could wait.

George and I followed closely behind Paul, he was very quick to leave. I assumed he was eager to start his next class. "I think he's gonna do just fine." George said, smiling. I nodded in agreement. "Aye fuck you!" I heard Paul say. My head shot up to see him pinned against the lockers by a that bloody Ritchie kid and a few of his friends. Kill him. He's hurting Paul. George ran up behind Ritchie and started yelling. I knew George wasn't the kind of kid to fight. Kill him. He's hurting Paul. I was frozen, they weren't swinging at Paul or anything, but Paul's feet were dangling in the air, and his eyes were full of fear. Paul was looking at me.

I didn't speak, I didn't make my presence known until I was holding Ritchie up against the locker above my head by his collar. Kick his fucking ass. Paul is scared. I punched him in the gut multiple times before I felt Paul tugging on my jacket from behind me. I couldn't hear anything I was so mad, so I didn't know if he was yelling at me or not. I finally dropped Ritchie and he and his friends bolted away. Gone bloody soft, you have. I turned around, breathing heavily and ready to fucking kill someone when I saw his face. He was clear in all of my blurred vision. "John.." I heard him say. "M'sorry, Macca." I mumbled, not taking my eyes off of him. I felt George put his hand on my shoulder. "Are ye okay mate?" He asked. I nodded, still not taking my eyes off of Paul.

"I'm gonna take 'im outside for a smoke. I'll catch up with ye later ok Geo?" I heard as I watched his mouth move intently before feeling him grab my forearm and direct me toward what I assumed was the door. He sat me down on a bench, I just kept staring into nothingness. You're a daft git, you should've taught them a lesson. "John are you okay?" You shouldn't have just let them go like that. "John, are you in there?" He's the reason you're like this.

"John!"

I whipped my head around and made eye contact with him. His beautiful eyes. "I'm so sorry Paul, did I hit ye? Are ye okay!?" I asked, touching his hands and feeling that familiar spark throughout my body. "John I'm fine, are you okay?" Paul asked me, looking genuinely concerned. "Paul I'm fine. I just got mad seein' ye like that y'know? Me mind takes over and I don't have much control. I just have t'protect you." I admitted, wanting to do one thing and one thing only. To kiss him. "God, Paul..." I mumbled. "What is it John?" He said as he put his hand on my thigh lightly - to seem more like a friend I assumed. I had forgotten we were still in public.

"I love you so much." I whispered, looking down at my feet. "I love ye John, I just worry, y'know. C'mon let's go home." Paul said, standing up. "Why? We've still got classes." I asked standing up behind him. "Because I'm having a hard time not being closer to you." Paul said as he raised an eyebrow almost seductively. I raised both of my eyebrows and followed close behind him, nearly drooling over the sight of him walking away.

I knew that wasn't going to be the last time Paul brought up the fact that he was worried about me, but I didn't care. I'd push through this.

Right now I had something else on my mind, I just hoped Paul was ready to act on it with me. He just thinks you're crazy now, gettin' all violent like that. "I was protecting him." I mumbled. Paul turned around and tilted his head at me. "What was that?" He asked. I shook my head as we entered his house, which I hoped was empty. I smiled when we found that it was in fact empty. I sat down in an arm chair in the living room. "C'mere, Paul." I ordered. As Paul got closer to me, I grabbed his hand and pulled him in. I grabbed his hips and pulled him even closer to me so his belt was right in front of my nose. I smirked to myself when I felt his hands in my hair.

Paul crawled on top of me, now straddling my lap. He wrapped his arms around my neck and arched his back as I began kissing his collar bone and unbuttoning his shirt. "John..." I heard my name escape his lips. Stop. I grabbed his shoulders and pulled his face toward me and I kissed him, hard. My hands slowly lowered down his back and soon found the waistband of his pants. My whole body shuddered when my hands cupped around his ass. My jaw dropped at the feeling. Paul didn't pull his face away when my mouth opened, he just smiled against it and kissed down my neck.

"Paul..." I moaned as he lightly bit my neck. I felt myself grow even harder when I felt his hard dick rub against me. It was almost too much. It was almost overwhelming. It is too much. It is overwhelming. He's like a precious angel and you're ruining him. I pulled my face away and looked at him. He was like an angel. "Are ye ok?" He asked, our noses almost touching. I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against his. It's too much for you. I took a deep breath, taking him in before I felt him climb off of me. My eyes shot open. "W-where are ye goin?" I asked, sounding extremely pathetic. "You're overwhelmed, John. It's alright, I understand." Paul told me as he sat down on the sofa across the room. "No, no I'm not Paul, I swear." I almost begged him as I walked over and sat down next to him, putting my hand on his upper thigh.

Paul looked at me, hesitantly. He doesn't want you. I leaned in and tried to kiss him, but he pulled away slightly. "Paul?" I raised an eyebrow and pulled my hand away. "I'm worried about you, John." He told me. He's scared of you. "Are you afraid of me?" I asked as I stood up and began pacing back and forth in his living room. He's scared of you.

He's scared of you.

Back and forth.

You're a freak.

Back and forth.

He's scared of you.

"FUCK!" I yelled as I slid down the wall, my head in my hands. Paul was immediately by my side. "Baby.." I heard him whisper as he pulled me into his arms. "Baby talk to me, please don't hide anymore." He told me, kissing my head a few times. I kept shaking my head. I hated how vulnerable I had become so quickly. So broken and fragile, you are. "Paul I c-can't do it anymore, I'm goin' out me brain!" I began crying hysterically into his shoulder and I expected him to let go, but he kept his arms around me tightly. "You're strong, John. We can fight this." Paul reassured me. He said we can fight this. He was in this with me. I barely believed it.

"John look at me." Paul instructed. I did so, trying to wipe away the tears falling down my cheeks and hold in the tears forming in my eyes. "You saved my life and made me the happiest I've ever been, John. YOU did that. Even though I was beyond broken, you stuck by me.. Even when I pushed you away." He began tucking my hair behind my ear as he spoke. "You stayed regardless of all the shit. I'm going to make sure you're okay, and I'm going to stick by you regardless. D'ye hear me?" He finished.

I leaned in and kissed him passionately and desperately. I climbed on top of his lap this time, and he held me close and kissed me back. "I...love...you.." I muttered between kisses, and I noticed the tears had finally stopped. Paul's hands were now on my ass, squeezing and pulling me closer to him. "Paul..." I moaned into his mouth, I loved having him in control. I loved having him make me feel so safe and taken care of. Hey, no voices for once. Nice, innit?

It wasn't long before Paul's hands found their way to the front of my trousers. I felt him fumbling to unbutton them, as if his life depended on it. I needed to be closer to him. I desperately needed to be closer. Finally my trousers were undone, and he shoved both of his hands back down on to my ass, pushing my trousers down with them. "Oh, fuck..." Paul moaned quietly as he moved his hands slowly around my waist to the front of my underwear. He teasingly played with my waistband and I felt myself become even harder than before - which I didn't think was possible.

I felt as though he was waiting for some kind of permission, a confirmation that I wanted this. I nodded as I kissed him just as harshly as before. Finally he pulled my underwear down, struggling to get them all the way off of me and then throwing them into a corner. As he did so, I began unbuttoning his pants. "I need you." I moaned into his ear and felt him turn into a puddle beneath me. I was almost shocked by the size and perfectness of his cock. "F-fuck," the words escaped from my mouth. We made eye contact and stopped kissing for a moment. I knew what was about to happen, Paul was about to fuck me. "Are you okay with this?" He asked, panting. I nodded. "John are you sure?" He asked again as he began kissing my neck. "Fuck y-yeah Paul, please..." I begged. I didn't expect our first time to be like this, but it was perfect. "You gotta uhm... lube it up.." Paul said, as he looked down at his cock with a raised eyebrow. I knew what that meant.

I slowly slid down him and got close to his cock. He already looked worn out. I kind of had an idea on what to do - I'd received them before... I grabbed him and took all of him in my mouth, not caring if I chocked. "FUCK!" Paul moaned loudly as he thrusted toward my mouth, his fingers now tangled in the hair on the back of my head. My mouth began to drip with saliva as I moved faster up and down him. "C'mere, oh fuck- JOHN! Yer gonna make me fuckin' cum!" Paul said as he threw his head back on the couch. I slowly pulled away. I didn't want to though, he tasted so good.

I climbed back on top of him. "Are y'ready?" He asked, his voice sounding husky and sexier than ever. I nodded, "Yes please." He helped spread me, and I slowly put the head of his cock at my entrance. I was petrified, I knew it was going to hurt. "Deep breath." Paul instructed. I did as I was told. STOP. I shook off the voice in my head and focused on Paul. I took another deep breath and felt him begin to penetrate me. STOP! I bit my lip, holding back a scream. "Sl-slow down," I asked him and he did. "It's okay, John luv. I've got you." He told me. STOP!!  "Say that again." I begged. Don't stop. Having him tell me that was so amazing sounding, so sexy and so calming.

"I've got you." He slid slowly deeper inside.

"I've got you." Deeper.

"You're mine." Paul grumbled when he realized he was 100% inside of me.

My God, it felt good. "How does that feel?" He asked. I could tell he wanted to start fucking me, but he needed to make sure I was okay. "Move, move now," I said breathlessly. He did so. He slowly began thrusting inside me. "Fuck John, fuck yer so tight, fuck!" His pace began to quicken.

Then it hit.

He hit something.

"FUCK PAUL! DON'T STOP!" I dug my nails into his shoulders and arched my back, tilting my head back with it. I had never felt something like this before.

And then he grabbed my cock and began working me there, too.

"Cum with me, John, I'm almost there baby, please cum with me!" Paul yelled as he quickened his pace with his hand and with his cock. It was euphoric. "P-Paul, I'm gonna cum," The words were barely understandable. And then, we both exploded. It felt like fireworks. No, it felt better than fireworks.

After he filled me up, and I wiped my mess off of him, I climbed off of him and collapsed on the couch beside him. We were both panting uncontrollably. "Well, that was fuckin' amazing." Paul smiled and grabbed my hand. "Quick, but amazing." I laughed and squeezed his hand. "Let's go lay down in my bed?" Paul suggested, standing up and grabbing my clothes for me. I felt my cheeks become red. "Fuck, you've put a spell on me McCartney." I said as I pulled my trousers back on. Paul winked as he did his fly and button back up.

You've done it. You've become a full-blown fucking queer. "Shut the hell up." I mumbled to myself, then smiled smugly at the fact that I felt confident enough to stand up to those bloody voices. Paul smiled at me too, almost as if he knew what I was thinking about. We lied down in his bed and he wrapped his arms around me. I honestly loved feeling so taken care of. I'd never felt that way before. I loved seeing that ring on Paul's finger, too.

"John?"

"Yes, m'love?"

"I love you."

"And I love you."

[elem-entals]

undercover irid, crown prince  seb, elems academy marco, librarian knowledge nads au

Brent and I had some really good ideas in this whole rp Pt. 1

Undercover irid but seb is also there undercover

Maybe irid is from some far off kingdom secretly

And helps/recruited the elems

And surprise she’s actually an agent from the Eastern Kingdom

And the lovable seemingly dumbass refugee who’s been putting his blacksmithing skills to use since the academy changed hands to dm

He looks at irid; and tells her to cut the act, the mission has been accomplished

Irid:

Irid; >:| dammit, sire

Irid: there’s still more to acc- Seb holds up a hand: it’s high time we stop the charade and make things clear

Seb: we all know how cozy you’ve gotten here, Fire elemental Iridona c; Irid: >:| 😳 your Majesty

Marco: what

Irid: Seb: Crown Prince Sebastian Warbourne at your service c;

Irid as one of the palace guards and a close friend of the prince

Irid muttering: >:| we had more to get done

Marco, later: sam what the fuck

Marco: she’s some sort of highly trained palace guard warrior chick

Marco: no wonder she picked up on training so fast, common girl with secret powers my butt

Seb, walking around a corner: that was her original origin

Seb: she really was a commoner who learned to fight rather quickly

Seb: and I’d watch how you talk about her, especially in front of me c;

Sam: 😗🍷

Sam: just your type marco

Seb: 👀

Seb: she hasnt dated much, but you are quite her type as well, Marco.

Sam: great, I love watching marco get his ass kicked

Seb: I do, as well 🍹

Marco: >:|

Sam: we ain't friends, guy

Marco: you get all fluttery whenever she’s near and you practically glow whenever she’s paying attention to you

Marco: me thinks she’s more than a bodyguard to you

Seb: Seb; 🍹

Seb: my interests are her happiness

Seb, picking lint off of his shirt: she is more than capable of being a mere palace guard

Sam: like a wife

Seb: if I can help her be more, find more of what could make her happy, live up to her potential, I will do nothing to stand in the way

Seb knocks back his drink

All of it

At once

Sam: impressive

Seb: no

Seb: its really not

Sam: I did like 3 at once one time during breeding season a few years back 😗

Seb:

Marco:

Marco: what

Sam: it was hard to position all three

Sam: without spilling it

Marco: OH drinks

Sam: I was already hammered so I dont think I would have noticed anyway

Sam: oh

Sam: yeah drinks

Marco: ...

Sam: and then maybe some very impressed ewes 😗🍷

Marco: what

Sam: anyway your kinglyness finish your ominous speech

Seb: 👀🍹no that was it

Sam: oh okay cool

Marco: will your guard terrier approve of another drink or does she need to test it

Sam: [takes a sip]

Seb: Seb punches Marco’s arm

Sam as a former party boy for this au I guess

Seb: maybe if its poisoned you should try it first 😒

Sam: oh damn I'll do it, I'd love to die

Seb:

Marco: 😕

Seb: yikes

Sam: jokes

Sam at some point to marco: y'know there's probably a few Samir jr.'s out there somewhere 🤔

Marco: wow

Sam: I know, weird to think about

Sam: I dont know if you wolves feel the same way but sometimes during breeding season some people just let loose

Sam: a lot of hatchlings are raised communally

Sam: dont know who their parents are, 's not really a big deal to us

Sam: sorry, there was just a hatchling that ran past a few hours ago and I got to thinking about it

Starling lore for this au

And maybe in general idk

This is a single dad Sam au now I guess

Marco: what if

Marco: what if you met a kid that was yours?

Is this assuming he doesnt have nadir with him yet?

Sam: I Sam: I don't know

Sam, elbowing him: maybe this upcoming season eh?

Whichever you think is more fun for this point im the au

Sam having a tryst with a starling from the eastern kingdom and he keeps the egg for himself

Lol she drops it on his desk

she's a badass warrior (maybe another palace guard?) And doesnt have the time/safe place to raise it

a starling version of iris

And is like "this is yours to do as you please"

"Wuh"

“Have fun byeee”

Warrior starling with a dry personality and a love of violence

Yes exactly

"This is soft cushy work, perfect for you"

"Uh"

Marco:

Marco: so you have a kid now?

Marco: mazel

Sam: one that I know about, yeah

Sam, with the egg: I could Sam: bring it to a hatchery

Marco: ...

Sam: this is the first time I've been face to shell with a product of a tryst

Sam: oh dont look at me like that, it's a normal starling cultural thing

Sam: it's not like your orphanages

Marco: yeah i know but

Marco: 👀 you were saying you could use a bit of something stable

Marco: company

Sam: 🌕🖊️ Sam: look [shows him the egg]

The egg has a face scrawled on it

Marco: you have a support system here too

Sam, egg voice: hi marco, it's me, Samir Jr.

Concept: Iris as a visiting consultant as a favor to Dm as he’s trying to set up the new Academy

Sam: 🤔 I am getting a bit long in the tooth

Iris: Samir, for the last time, I need those reports on-

Iris: 👀|

Iris: that’s an egg

Sam: it is

~

Someone asks Iris if she’s dating dm

Sam: very astute observation, I can see why you get paid the big bucks

“Not my type”

Dm: she likes twinks but like straight

Iris: >👀|

Sam: so like all starlings

Dm: mhm

Iris: >👀C

Sam: I know a buddy who's single

Sam: not afraid to mingle with those of the flesh

~

Iris: you’re about to see my foot up your ass

Marco: this is why I liked having you around

Sam: [cups his hands around his eyes]

Marco: Sam, seriously, it could be nice

Marco: having a little one around

Sam: hmm Sam: I'll give it a week to decide

Iris: ugh you and your father are so domestic

Sam: he's getting old iris

Sam: he wants to settle down

Sam: maybe with someone from out of town 👀

Sam: isnt that right eggbert Sam, egg voice: sure is

Iris: your dad met your mother and like a month later “oh she’s so wonderful, I could see us settling down in some house in the Valley or something”

Iris: [fake gags]

Sam: [sighs] I want that

Sam: marco is your dad into single dads

Sam: this could be your step sibling

Marco: dont even joke

Iris, in a bad dm impression; Samir, you’re claws are looking very pointy today

Iris: may I escort you to the Fall Ball in August?

*your

Sam: why thank you Marco, you're so kind~

Sam, bats his lashes: what a gentleman

Iris, pretending to be faint: Oh, Iris, he’s so lovely, we’ll have a June wedding

Iris: I’m assuming you’re the same way in love, Marc-y

Sam: I need a nice, strong man to help me raise my hatchling

Marco: >:| I hate having you around

Marco: No you dont

Marco: you are strong

Sam: not as strong as this little dude's ma

Sam: she could have bench pressed me

Iris: ooh👀

Sam: I think I pulled something when we were together

Iris: oooooh👀c

Iris: gimme the hot goss

^monotone lucretia voice

Sam, scooting closer: so she drops this on my desk, right?

Iris: ‼️

Sam: "here, you live a cushy, domestic life. Take this"

Sam: what am I supposed to do with this? I ask Sam: she snorts, patronizingly I might add Sam: "use your fancy academy education and figure it out"

Sam: >:T she must think I'm some kind of coddled highborn

Iris: she sounds cool

Marco: you would think that

Sam: she was that big tall starling his fancy pants-ness brought with him

Sam: look at me forging alliances

Sam: you're all welcome

Sam: you're next marco

Iris: oh, you mean

Eh?

Iris: Shabina?

Sam: is that her name? Huh 🤔

Iris: you didnt even know her name? 👀c

Sam: she doesnt know mine so I think we're square

Sam: she called me desk jockey at one point

Iris: oooh, she mentioned you

Sam: oh?

Iris: “the desk jockey had these soft hands, and knew how to use them”

Marco: uGH

Sam, leaning back: ha, totally me

Marco: what do you mean I’m next?

I like this iris dynamic with sam and marco tbh

Sam: maybe I can teach you sometime Marco, y'know, to get a leg up in his royal ominous-ness

Yeah same

Marco: what the fuck is that sentence

Iris: language, pup

Sam: I mean we're going to help you seduce iridona

Sam: get you a palace guard

Marco: what

Iris: now that you’ve got an egg you’re wanting to play matchmaker?

Sam: yes

Sam: I'm feeling domestic

Marco: oh please after you got Celi in your clutches you wouldnt leave me and Dad and Marse alone about “finding someone”

Sam: you're welcome btw, told you I'd find you a twink

Iris: my private life is not up for speculation

Iris: how did you find him for me?

Sam: oh you think you found him on accident?

Iris: I like to find my own beaus thank you very much

Sam: [snickers] okay

Iris: [narrows her eyes]

Marco: nice

Marco: maybe Sam can get you ankid too

Iris slaps his arm

Sam: yeah, maybe Sam: my cup runneth over with them, apparently

Sam: I'll keep doing a whirlwind tour of the willing starling ewes that could break me in half in the eastern kingdom and make everyone an egg

Sam: [sighs] Sam: I'm gonna go to the library to get some books on parenting I guess

Sam: who wants to come with?

Iris, winding her arm thru sam’s: there’s a section on combat training that could be useful for a growing young starling

Sam: just because my hatchling's mom was a meathead doesn't mean they have to be

Iris: oh no no

Iris: not a meathead per say. but a cool and collected young ewe or ram with the ability to defend themselves from enemies

Marco: should you decide to keep the hatchling, you’ll have so many people to help with the kid, they wont even need it

Iris: but they should know

Iris: maybe young master DeSantos can learn some seduction techniques

Marco: >:|

Sam: yeah I've got plenty of that

Marco; Irid has enough on her plate

Sam: what, some kid playing king?

Sam: if the other palace guard has enough time to waste with me I'm sure irid can stomach a date or two with you

Sam: c'mon, let's go to the library

Marco: maybe he was just looking to make friends

Sam: mostly because I don't remember how to get there :<

He was but also sam’s right

Iris: pfft

Iris tugs on his arm

Iris moved over to the capital after losing her first husband. She lost him awhile back when she was just friends with dm

Later when she struggles marco and dm and sam help comfort her

Iris and sam and marco at the fantasy baby store

Trying to figure out what to get a soon to be hatchling

this is a knowledge nads au also

Ooooooo

to prepare you for this variant

is Nads a librarian

nads is a librarian

Bookmage

Book battle mage

We gotta figure out how to incorporate some of this into one of our long standing au’s

Nads: Hi, welcome to Talondrop Library :DDD

Iris: 👀|c hello, young miss

Sam, muttering: it's way too early in the morning for this kind of pep

Iris quietly: I like her, hush

Marco nods

Iris: might we be directed to the section on baby care?

Nads: how can I help you all? c: Nads: unless you're part of that group that's been stealing books in which case I won't hesitate to use force >:c [pulls out an envelope opener]

Iris: 👀|c like a real life Bilbo

Nads who is probably as tall or taller than Iris

Nads: oh, sure! :DDD [she still doesn't put away the opener]

Nads: right this way

Nads: what kind of baby is it? I've organized the whole section by species

Iris: impressive

Iris: a hatchling, eventually

Nads: ✨✨✨

Nads: I see! Nads: that explains why you walked in with an egg 🤔

Nads: I didn't want to assume

Nads: what in particular are you looking for? feeding? education? c: Sam: uh...everything? Nads: first time parent? I got you c;

Nads grabs one of those book carts

Nads: I'll be back in just a second with a selection!

Sam: This vibe is weird

Sam: this is making it all so...realy

Sm@l iris befriending sam after she and celi visit to have their case looked at

Iris and sam gossiping

Iris: true, but we’re at the intel gathering stage

Iris: if you’re gonna decide, you should do it well as informed as possible

Sam: intel gath- Sam: iris I'm getting baby books, I'm not on a mission

Sam: marco, you've been awfully quiet

Marco: ... just taking it in

Marco: dont want to add more noise

Sam: more than our new "friend"? I'm sure you're fine

Sam: it is awfully quiet in here though

Sam: like more than a library usually is

Nads, with a pyramid of books: I'm back, hi c:

Sam: jeez, this is uh Nads: just a small selection, I know

Sam: wasn't what I was thinking tbh

Nads: I've got a small sampling of everything you'd ever want to know

Nads: feeding, bathing, teaching; the works

Sam, looking over a book: uuuuh

Nads: and, most important of all, hatching

Sam: Sam: oh shit I forgot that part

Marco leafs thru a book

Iris: thank you, Miss...?

Nads: Nadia~ c:

Nads: Talondrop Library's head librarian

Iris: Nadia c: I’m Iris

Iris: this is Marco and thats Sam

Nads: ...!!! :OOO Nads: you're from that academy aren't you?

Marco nods

Nads: I hear you guys are hosting the King of the Eastern Kingdom

Marco: pft

Marco: yeah now we are

Iris: always interesting, having visiting foreign entities

Nads: that's so neat, it must be exciting to swap stories c: Sam, muttering: and fluids c:', c: ', c:',

Sam: right marco

Marco: oh gross

Sam: marco

Sam: right

Nads: is there anything else I can help you all with today? c: Sam: yeah, you got any books on seduction so we can help my man over here? c:',

Marco: >:| stop this

Nads: 🤭 we have some romance books if he would be interested

Marco: I am not

Nads: of course! If you'll follow me to the counter

Nads: okay, so you have two weeks before you either have to return or renew them

Nads: I'll just need your signature right here Sam: alright

Nads: and right here Sam: 'kay Nads: and a drop of your blood Sam: ok- what

Nads: for the blood pact c: Nads: if you don't return the books on time there'll be a fee, and if you don't return it in a month's time I'll hunt you down

Sam:

Marco:

Iris: 👀

Sam, taking the pin: fine, I don't want to have to walk to the bookstore

sam pricks himself and a drop of blood falls onto the small magic circle on the counter

it evaporates into a cloud of pink smoke

Nads: the contract is sealed Nads, pushing the books towards him: have a lovely day :DDD

Sam@marco and iris: what, don't look at me like that

Sam: I need these books, I'm completely lost without them

Sam studying the books in his office while marco chills

maybe talking about how irid kicked his ass during training that day?

yes i love this

marco puts his feet up on sam's desk

what does sam do in this?

what if its the same gag

he does everything and nothing

and has an office

I like it

nobody knows what he does

but dm says he's invaluable

marco: so I look up she has the dumbest smirk on her face

marco: and decks me and I fall off the log and loose the whole ass challenge

Sam: HA, classic

marco, throwing the candy wrapper from the candy he nabbed from sam's candy dish on his desk in the wastebasket: stupid

Sam: was your love rival there

Marco: my what?

Marco: I have no such thing

Marco: Iridona is a colleague

Marco: who lied technically

Sam: we've all lied once or twice

So ya know how in older movies, a couple dancing in a big fancy number was like

Lowkey highkey hinting toward their chemistry in bed

That but its how irid and marco fight or fight together

Marco: Samir

Sam: like when you asked what happened to your piece of cake that day in third grade

Marco: excuse you

Sam: and I said your sister must have taken it

Sam: and Marco, you don't have to lie about that absolutely sizzling sexual chemistry you have with her

Sam: and don't let what's his face psyche you out

Marco:

Marco: 😳 n- no-

Marco: aw fuck it

Marco: It doesnt feel right to just up and

Sam: 👀

Marco: “hey so how about this thing I think is between us”

Sam: well sure if you wanna be all Sam: werewolf Sam: about it

Sam: take a starling approach

Sam: romance her

Sam: flirt

Sam: flash her that roguish smile

Sam: instead of ballroom dancing to express your feelings you two spar Sam: it's like its own dance, in a way

Marco: ugh dont remind me. If i was gonna go all werewolf, I’d tackle her during training and growl into her ear about all the stuff i’d love to do to her and see if she’s down

Sam: rhythmic, passionate

Marco: not cool

Marco:

Sam: hey now that's not werewolf Sam: werewolf is "hello milady, I would like to mount you, do I have thine permission?""

Marco: “would thou consent to be bred-eth?”

*wouldst

Sam: "I think you'll find I'm a suitable caretaker, watch me bench this deer carcass"

Marco: heheh

Marco: seriously, I dont even know if shes interested

Sam: well

Sam: test the waters

Sam: you don't have to be blunt about it

Sam: even though I know it's in your desantos dna

Sam: maybe we should have gotten you one of those seduction books

Sam: I've finished all these books and have to return them, I could pick one up c;

Marco: hatred

Marco: utter hatred

Sam: love you too

Marco: wait you read all of those books?

Sam: yes

Sam: Also I haven't slept

Sam: I'm sure it's fine

Marco: soo

Marco: have you come any closer to a decision?

Sam: mmm

Sam: I don't know

Sam: it's only been one day

Sam: Maybe once I get more books

Marco: I-

Marco: hold on

Sam: and return these before I get stabbed in my sleep or something 😒

Sam: what is it boy

marco: are you gonna chat up the cute head librarian

Sam: is celio stuck in a well

marco: utter loathing

Sam: what? I mean I guess I have to

marco: u t t e r  l o a t h i n g

Sam: I'm pretty sure she's the only librarian

Sam: cute eh? should I alert irid that she's lost her chance? 👀

Sam: anyway I need more books because honestly I'm starting to freak out

Marco: aw sami

Sam finding nads one day super depressed looking in the dark by herself

And when he gets her attention she's like "!!!" And tries to put on her customer service persona

He asks what's wrong and she tells him that the library's going to be shut down soon and it's all she has

Sam asking dm if there's any openings for the academy library

Dm: well

Dm: theres a lot of openings since part of every intellectual department was infested with Asrani loyalist so

Dm: yes

Sam: nice Sam: um Sam: can I ask for a favor

Dm: and poor Avalene is stretched thin between sorting out the archives and trying to sort out the library

Sam: nothing big this time, I promise

Dm:

Sam: look

Sam: the library in town is slated to be shut down

Sam: and the librarian there has really been helping out with the whole Sam: surprise fatherhood thing

Dm: ah yes

Dm: that aside, I hope you know you can count on me and Marco for support with that.

Sam: I mean granted loaning out books is a librarian's job

Sam: right, thank you sir

Sam: I'll...keep that in mind

Dm: >:| you mean isolate yourself eventually

Dm: anyway 😤

Dm: I’ll see what I can do

Sam: [bats his lashes]

Dm: the young woman in Talondrop? The enthusiastic one?

Sam: that's her

Dm: hm

Dm: I’ll get back to you

Sam: thanks

Dm dials the extension for the library where avilene has set up shop

The academy one

Dm: would you like to take on an experienced young librarian with enthusiasm for the jo- Avilene, loud enough for sam to hear thru the phone: yES

dm nods at sam

Sam: great, I'll let her know

Sam: see, I told you I'd be an asset

Sam: strengthening ties between our neighbors, finding new employees

Dm waves him away: yes yes

"So like I heard you knocked up one of my guards?"

Dm: tell my son to stop dancing around his very obvious crush on Ser Velezquez

Sam: I've tried

Dm: 😒

Sam: I promise I've tried