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thedapperrabbit · 4 years

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She-Ra Rewatch: season 3 and onwards through season 4, and boatloads of Introspection time!

So Ive been rewatching She-Ra with my partner, because sharing Entrapdak is caring. I could probably squee on about that for a century or more (because eeee, sharing things i love with people i love AND THEY EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO THE THINGS AND REMEMBER THEM!)...but ill spare you, kind internet strangers who for some reason find my thoughts mildly interesting enough to be reading this. This is going to be a lot. Like, a LOT. A lot especially from a stranger that youve probably only seen a notification from due to me sticking a heart on your content or for reblogging something lovely youve made in pictures or words. I dont think anything is going to be violently trigger-y because im not always great at judging that stuff and also ive yet to feel quite comfy enough to be fully open-posting specifics about my own past trauma, other than a vague allusion to self-harm and distant-ish unspecified abuse aaaand the usual childhood garbage truck of assholes....but i suppose you could possibly draw some darker potential conclusions from the content im focused on. Also, my ADHD makes it incredibly hard to keep to a straight and non-branching narrative so...ramble-y bits and expressions of brain frustration ahoy. Either way...you are forewarned, just in case. Sorry in advance, this is going to be a small booklet by the time Im done explaining, and thinking, and then attempting to stick words to abstract feels which sometimes im great at, and then others i fucking suck at...but at least this is all written and not me trying to say this to any of your faces! Thats....a mercy all of its own. Haa... Anyway, while rewatching with my partner, I realized just how much more painful parts of it are to sit through now...they were the first time, and each time since, but NOW having spent a while mulling over the series as a whole a bunch, and reading a lot of other peoples writings on here and finding myself largely in agreement with most Entrapdak fan’s assessment of things, I just....feel like all the air is ripped out of me during some moments, watching with keener insight. And despite thinking i had myself reasonably well figured out by my age, its all also made me further consider a few things about myself as well. Particularly my notable internalized fury response to chunks of it which have been consistent through all my viewings of SPOP. With Hordak at least, its way easier to understand my reactions. For me at least. Maybe not so much for the people around me. And, shittier due to intensity and subject matter, but still easier in the long run because...the broken bits in me that he resonates with are fresher and sharper and still more recent, like within the last ten years, and thus more towards the front shelves in my head, compared to things that resonate with Entrapta, which are all old, lifelong dull aches at this point. I feel like nothing i can point to is fully sufficient to fully express my feels involving Hordak. But, maybe the best representative moment is with the crying i do every damn time I see his face looking up at Prime just after he glimmer and catra were beamed up...because ive seen that face in the mirror. I HAVE MADE THAT FACE. That same. Goddamn. Face. I may not have gotten a jab to the back of the neck directly from the person I made it at...but they often seemed to silently goad me to harm myself in an attempt to jolt my brain out of getting stuck in re-looping through what theyd just done/said to me. Likewise, much of his interactions with Entrapta are very...very weirdly familiar in feeling, but in a good way. Watching the stuff with Hordak hurts because fuck me if it isnt frequently like watching myself back in 2008ish to 2013, which was the duration of the worst parts of that particular circle of hell i parked my ass in. So...that makes sense. Hes so well written in those moments, it occasionally gave me PTSD flashbacks (still does a little, but now im prepared and braced for it and can shrug it back off....thanks, lifetime of therapy and years of studying abnormal psychology! Still totally not an expert, just very passionate...just, as a disclaimer). Entrapta though...Entrapta is a different story. Mostly, I see Entrapta and in her free expressions of delight and joy and her bouncy enthusiasm I am reminded of a younger, less discouraged me in some ways, and in others, a “me” I could have been, but...well, extremely early-onset anxiety and depression made me insanely self-conscious super-super early on...not that i was great at hiding or...i guess the term people seem comfy with is “masking”? Which was a huge problem, or so it was in the 80s when far less was understood of such things. Id do so for a bit and then would forget to, in a way (because id forget long enough to go and trust again reflexively) and would get badly bullied and would squish everything down until id feel a crumb of safety again, and then almost instantly ADHD would pop that mask right the rest of the way off aaand it would start all over again. Ad nauseam until my teen years, where the depression sort of “fixed” that, and made it much easier to destroy my desire to share much of myself freely at all, save for with one or two people, and to a less deep extent a broader circle of nerd friends. Course, then i hit 30 and ran out of the majority of fucks I used to give. Or I became so damaged and salted with anger that parts of me dont grow any fucks anymore? Either way, plowshares to swords, WHEEEE!) And, maybe thats where this time while watching, I started to really think back to all that, and to how i see Entrapta treated by the other princesses, or really just in general except by Hordak...and why it burns my biscuits so badly. Every time I see someone roll their eyes at Entrapta’s beautiful unbridled enthusiasm or try to make it seem distasteful or at least weird and unwanted and uncomfortable for them but then dont even bother to try coming to terms with why they feel that way... or how they seem to feel free to grab and manhandle her without her consent, or the way they try to lessen her contributions because shes non-normative? Like its the fucking least she can do to make up for being weird in their space (...okay, that might just be the anger kicking in..but i dont feel like its an entirely innacurate assessment, is it?) All of that...seeing it inflicted upon someone, It feels like someones punched me right in the damn sternum, but because its a hurt that im so desensitized to, it seems to have a much different effect than the sharp, violent crushing pain that i feel when I relate to Hordak a little too well for comfort. Again, i could go on, but its nothing more eloquent people on here havent already spoken volumes on. And my first gut reaction is always “I dont understand! why is that their reaction to her?! it doesnt seem logical at all, i dont seem to be able to parse it correctly, how is this acceptable? I HOPE SHE IMMOLATES YOU ALL.”. Which...I suppose isnt entirely usual for me (the silent wishing that people be immolated, I mean...i blame my past years of working in retail. And devouring too much Warhammer 40k contentl). (oh gods...and this is going to be the most clusterfucky part cause i can feel my meds kicking in and thats gonna be hard to keep coherence on but i gotta get this all out of my head or ill forget it or get too scared of you fucking BRILLIANT insightful smart people on here and then ill continue to live scared and regretful that i never said..anything, and just sat here like “noticeme, entrapdak sempais!” Ehhn...which is to say, if this is a garbage dump from here down, dont worry, when i wake up ill fix it...but hopefully itll at least make a tiny bit of sense ) But I realized something...something I hadnt ever rememberd much about due to the shitty neuronormative (apology if thats wrong term) behaviors continuing over years and years but in less and less directly aggressive ways as i grew older and was more prone to losing my shit in , (and likely because I got excessively lucky and managed through...uhhh...agonizing determination? Sheer stubbornness? Alleviatory rebalancing of universal karma? fuck if i know --to curate a surprisingly supportive circle of other castoffs and misanthropes.) That was exactly how people used to treat me. OKAY THISLL BE EDITED LATER to add in the rest of what i was gonna say...im...too full of Ambien sleep meds and damn write it anymore...and im aing trouble separating realigty and dream...an i k apawing at the kybord...not safe Lov yous for reading this far. Il fix it later, swears.

#should i tag this?#im not sure if i like it #berres #psyhcology of pop culture chraracters #psychology of the writer/author

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fyrapartnersearch · 7 years

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Hello I am here and so are you, so we have one thing in common already

✿Short and Sweet✿

I am looking for an 18+ long-term partner whose primary pairings are M/M. I don’t want anyone who takes things too seriously, RPing is a relaxing pastime and if I’m stressing about replying constantly/meeting word counts I’m going to hate it. That being said I do like doing paragraph replies with anywhere from 300-1000 words, depending on how long my replies are I can reply every day or every week (it really just depends on my motivation/mood/schedule)

Please skim over my interests and the like at the bottom to see how compatible we are. Since I’m looking for a long-term partner, I’d like for us to have several things in common. Please don’t contact me if only one or two of our interest match up. <3

✧Settings✧

Sci-fi/Space Opera

Post-apocalypse

Medieval/Fantasy

Modern Day (No generic High School/ Domestic stuff)

Historical

War

Fandom: Warhammer 40k, Star Trek, Star Wars, Mass Effect, Voltron:LD, Fallout, Elder Scrolls, Dragon Age, W.o.W., SnK, Tokyo Ghoul, (I only do OcxOc in fandom settings. I will not play, or play against canon characters)

✧Kinks/Other✧

Likes

Size Differences

Power Bottoms

Gentle Giants

Fem Boys/Crossdressing (both as a sexual and non-sexual thing, really just depends on how it’s presented)

Monster boys/Men

Robots

Aliens

Toxic relationships

M/S Relationships

Bondage

Dislikes

Standard dislikes (Toiletplay, Bestiality, Pedophilia Etc.)

Incest

Mpreg

✧Contact✧

Email: [email protected]

Skype: Dunkmastersassquatch (Kaptain Krunch)

✿Long and Detailed✿

I am looking for a totally rad person who is 18 years of age or older and who places value in long-term partnerships/friendships. I like to get to know my partners and would like to be able to speak casually with them about our ideas or whatever. If you are also looking for someone who just wants to kick back and have some fun making our characters miserable then please continue below to see how well our interests line up!

✪ About Me✪

Age: 20

Times Zone: Central Time

Occupation: Severely depressed college student

Hello, I write and also draw and also am looking for an RP partner who shares many of my interests so we can write together for many, many years and over many RPs.

I’m pretty laid back about most things. I just ask that you communicate with me about things instead of just assuming and that you are fairly literate. (Text speech/ Lingo is a-okay as long as it’s OOC or fits the RP)

I’d like for us to be friends as well as partners because it helps motivate me to write/draw/ feel the good vibes ™. So please, please talk with me about your interests/ fandoms/day as well as any plot ideas or twists you may have because I will certainly jabber on about mine. BTW Feel free to say no to my ideas if you’re not interested, I’ll be disappointed, but I’ll get over it. (I will assume the same goes for you)

✪ About My Roleplaying ✪

Comfort level word count: 300-500

Tense: Third Person, Present (will do past if it’s super important to you)

Frequency: Depends, but if I’m at my comfort level I’ll probably be able to respond multiple times a day. Anything above that will of course take me longer.

I would prefer to RP over skype or some other IM system ( I could be convinced to get a Discord, but the thing is my internet is super slow and downloading it would take an hour, I’m not exaggerating it’s that bad, and I just really don’t feel like doing that right now) however, E-mail is also okay.

Skype: Dunkmastersassquatch

Email: [email protected]

Grammar and what not is kind of important I guess, but not as important as content. I’m not sure if this ad is really an accurate example of my writing potential as I’m just kind of spewing out whatever. That being said if you’re okay with the level this ad is written at, then you’ll probably be okay with my actual writing. If you’re not okay with it then, eh, take a chance?

As for my characters, I play Doms, Subs, and Switches and don’t really have a preference for one over another. Keep in mind that sometimes my subs are whiney, uke boys and sometimes they will twist your nips and call you a cuck. AKA my character’s personalities are not dependent on their position in bed, HOWEVER sometimes their personality will, coincidentally, line up with the stereotype of their position.

✪ Pre-existing Ideas/Interest✪

Just to show you kind of how my mind works. Feel free to ask for one of these (and add to them <3) or not. The summaries don’t indicate which character I want to play (because I’m mostly good with playing either) so let me know if you have a preference towards a character.

✧General✧

Sci-fi/Space Opera:

1. I have this alien race that are essentially gender neutral, like there’s no way to tell their gender unless you get in their pants. They pretty much consider even KNOWING what gender they are as extremely intimate and somewhat taboo. So they take forever to choose a mate and when they do it’s for life. I’d be pretty down for doing something with that.

2. A near-homeless man finds an old broken down robot behind one of his favorite restaurants. It’s an old, outdated model, but he thinks he can fix it up with just a little time.

Post-apocalypse:

The world is broken, it’s times like this when people need to come together to rebuild what was lost. Like that’s going to happen, every semi-competent faction is vying for control of more land, more money. Its times like THIS when smart people, really smart people can get ahead. That’s just what the tactician is doing. He’s a smart guy who’s never lost a battle and he’s up for grabs to any faction that’s willing to shell out the cash. However, smart guys like that tend to make enemies and the faction he’s working for insists he have a bodyguard.

Supernatural:

1. It’s an equal exchange, the vampire bites you and gets fed and the represents they release gives you the high of your life. It’s only good business to do it in a hotel room or something so you’re not tripping on the streets, but what happens when your vampiric dealer doesn’t want to leave. (I have a bit more to this world so just ask if you’re interested)

2. He’s always been a bit of a loner, a ghost to society. When he moves into his new apartment he doesn’t really see it as much of a change, until he lays down to sleep and feels hands running through his hair.

Medieval Historical/Medieval Fantasy:

1. (Medieval Fantasy) This was the big expedition, this cave was going to have all the riches of his dreams. The cave-in however, that wasn’t to be expected. These cave were abandoned right? So why can he feel something watching him.

2. (Medieval Fantasy) After 10,000 an evil necromancer awakens from the curse that paladin put on him, he’s ecstatic to find out his Orc bodyguard was cursed too. Now they can continues their plans for world conquest and also get some revenge.

3. (Medieval Historical) He’s a highwayman all he wants is your money or your life. One day an unsuspecting priest comes along and tries to bargain for his life with the word of God. It’s didn’t work, but something in his eyes kept him from killing the priest.

4. (Medieval Fantasy) Someone’s plotting to kill the king and all bets are on the shady court magician. There’s no proof though, so the king assigns personal servants to all within his court as a “gift” (to spy) Maybe the court magician isn’t as evil as everyone says….or maybe he’ll have his new servant face down in the gutter by tomorrow.

Modern Day:

1. He’s been crushing on the cute boy in his precalculus class since the semester started. He finally gets the never to ask him out, only to later find out that his love interest is a furry. What’s a furry?

2. He had no clue his dorm mate was a mass murderer, what even more surprising is that he’s in love with him. (Killing Stalking sort of thing)

3. Crime Bosses weren’t supposed to fall in love, especially not with someone in law enforcement, even if that “law enforcement” is a mall cop.

Historical:

I don’t really have any prompts of my own I just put this here to let you know I’m into this too. Do refrain from using real people from history, I’m not into that. (Including real events/facts is A+ tho.)

Superheroes (actually mostly villains) and stuff:

1. He’s the number one fan of the number one bad guy in the world. Sure he wants to see the world burn, but if the posters on this nerd’s wall say anything it’s that he wants to watch it burn too.

2. The boss isn’t the smartest guy around, but that’s why he’s here. His henchman and unofficial bodyguard, he’s content to let his boss run about with his foolish plans even if the ones in his own head are 10x better.

✧Fandom✧

I will only do OCxOC in fandom settings. I will not play or play against canon characters. It’s just not my thing, sorry. v-v

Warhammer 40k:

*While I’m not a super lore whore I will try to keep pretty close to it. This means that, yes, I expect any Space Marine characters to be impotent. But I mean hey have you SEEN the size of their fingers, I mean, tsk, come on…COME ON…*

1. A Tzeentch/Slaaneshi psyker finds an ancient deamonic staff of domination (it’s prolly Slaaneshi too, let’s be honest) which forces its user’s will on one other person. Being a whimpey little psyker he decides to use it on a chaos lord of Khorne, who is pretty upset about the whole thing, to say the least. (this is actually based off two of my O.C.s we can keep as close to their story, or as far from is as you’d like.)

2. Love can bloom…or it can violently explode within the chamber of an ancient Eldar long rifle. While exploring some ancient ruins one day, a lone rogue trader finds a discarded rifle on the floor. Upon picking it up he finds that it…speaks to him? It’s really got a tongue on it too, but hey it’s too awesome of a weapon to give up. (Yes this is a relationship between a man and the soul of an ancient Eldar that resides in a gun….)

Star Trek:

1. The son of a prominent Romulan commander abandons his duties and becomes a notorious smuggler. Now he’s on the run from the Tal’ Shiar (who are trying to drag him home), a Ferengi trader (whom he may or may not have sold faulty weapons to) and a Klingon bounty hunter (who he’s tempted to be captured by.)

2. Comfort women were a common sight within the quarters of Cardassian soldiers during the occupation. However, this Gul would rather seduce a known Bajoran resistance fighter. After all the greater the challenge, the greater the reward.

Star Wars:

1. An admiral is supposed to be reliable, smart, and efficient he is, after all, in command of an entire fleet of ships. This admiral, as CT-7465 has found out, is a little too young and laid back for the job. (Clone Wars Era)

2. They were supposed to stay together, best friends fighting side by side against the Sith, until he became a Sith. (Pre Prequels.)

Voltron:LD:

1. A Galra commander is dragged along by one of his friends to one of those ridiculous slave auctions. He expected to sit there bored as his friend lusted over all his new “options”. For the most part he was right, but why does that boy keep catching his eye? (A sort of sweet Galra bby)

2. A Galra commander is fed up with spending his nights alone, he needs someone to share his bed and he wants them to be perfect. So he picks up one of those slave order catalogues and starts filling in all his specifications. When his slave finally arrives, he’s not quite what was ordered. (An abusive Galra bby)

3. (Alt. Universe) The Human Empire dominates the galaxy under Emperor Shiro Takashi and a recently promoted chancellor now has the kind of money he needs to fulfil one of his most devious fantasies: owning a Galra pet.

Fallout:

I don’t really have any plots for this either, but I would absolutely love to do something in this universe!

Elder Scrolls:

He’s a nord: strong, hearty, well endowed, and he’s got Talos to thank for it. Now these elves come in and tell him Talos is no God, well that’s just not right. But the Thalmor agent that’s threatening his arrest is really, really handsome.

Dragon Age:

1. The Inquisitor is just a normal guy who happens to have a glowing hand. Completely normal right? And normal people don’t really find the company of extravagant Teventer mages and buff Qunari spies to be all that appealing (no matter how handsome they may be.) No, he needs someone simpler, someone who can remind him he’s still just a normal guy. (I don’t really consider the inquisitor to be a canon character b/c they’re kinda player based.)

2. Seheron belongs to no one but the ones who live here, he wishes the Qunari and the Teventers would learn that and leave his home alone. He’s getting sick of only feeling safe when the fog covers him. (Fog Warrior/Qunari Soldier)

W.o.W.:

Does it count as necrophilia if they’re Undead?

Blood elves are pompous stuck ups and orcs are barbaric savages, so why are they fighting on the same side?

Tokyo Ghoul: *Trigger Warning for suicidal thoughts*

A recent high-school graduate learns he’s contracted a terminal disease. His parents are too poor to afford treatment, in fact they’re too poor to support him or his four siblings. Since he’s going to die anyways, he might as well spare them the cost for the few months he has left. But he doesn’t like the idea of anyone else having to clean up his dead body. Maybe he can at least be useful in killing himself, ghouls eat people, right?

✧Tropes✧

Monsters: I love QT monster boys (slime boys, nagas etc.), but I also love big bara giants. My thing is either: their head and torso are humanoid and everything else can be whatever OR they have to be a full blown, all out monster (they have to have sentience though, I’m not into bestiality stuff.)

Size Difference (ranges from slight difference to HOLY HELL YOU ARE MASSIVE WTF I ONLY COME UP TO YOUR STOMACH): I love big bara boys who fall in love with small tiny babes. The big bara can be all super macho or whatever I’m into that too, but what I really, really like is when they’re a squishy romantic who is completely devoted to their bby. Like they are willing to do anything their tiny love says at a moment’s notice. Bonus if the tiny boy is an absolute argumentative spitfire.

Age Differences: I don’t care how big the age gap is so long as the youngest is 18 or older.

Hey, Listen: This seems like a good place to put one of those “if you’ve read this far” things, not that I expect everyone to. However, if you have read all this then put the words “coco for cocoa puffs” somewhere in your message to me. <3

Toxic Relationships: Physically or mentally abusive (or both). Things can either work out in the end with the abusive cunt changing their ways, or not. I’m good with either.

Angst: I’m completely okay with letting characters straight up die. If that’s not something you’re into just say so and we can keep it fairly happy. However, if it’s something you’re willing to do HIGHFIVE!

Hopeless romance: In complete contrast to Toxic relationships I’m also into 100% fluffy and supportive relationships (so long as they both go through some hell. Can’t keep things too happy)

One-Sided: I love when characters think they are in a hopelessly one-sided love (but in fact aren’t). What would make it even better is if they are casually having sex with each other (because their friends with benefits/ one of them thinks the other is imagining someone else/ whatever) while both of them are secretly in love with each other, but neither of them knows it. Love is confusing.

Yandere/Ice King: Self explanatory

Unlikely Lovers: This could be characters who hate each other, but are hopelessly attracted to each other, people on opposing sides (Good Guy/Bad Guy) who fall in love, or characters who hate each other at first due to prejudices (ex. Orc/Elf) but are forced to work together and fall in love along the way.

✪ About 18+ Content: ✪

✧Violence/Cursing✧

I am okay with gore and death and the eternal void so long as it’s fitting/ pre-planned/ we’ve been writing together for a while and you know what you want to do won’t upset me.

I’ve avoided doing it (I think) in this ad out of respect for other’s preferences, but I my cuss level is that of someone who has recently stubbed their pinkie toe against the corner of the bed. So, if you want to contact me please be okay with that, it’s understand able if you yourself don’t want to cuss, but don’t try and force that standard on me. (This goes for pretty much everything else involving ideals/morals)

✧Sexual Situations✧

Obviously, you have to be 18+, even though I kinda said that at the very beginning I want to say it again. If you’re not 18+ and I find out you’re not I will immediately drop you and also likely report you as underage to which ever site you came to me from. You are endangering people when you pull that kind of stuff. So, if you’re under 18 (even if you’re 17 and your birthday is just two months away or the age of consent in your country is below 18) don’t contact me.

Anywhoo, I love smut, but I don’t want it to overtake the RP. I am pretty kink friendly, but I do have limits (which I’m about to list) if there’s something you’re having doubts about just ask, please don’t assume what I’m okay/not okay with.

Kinks I enjoy:

<3 <3 BDSM: Collars, bondage, S&M

<3 Violence: Biting, Scratching, Light asphyxiation

<3 <3 <3Power Bottoms: AKA I love when the smaller guy gets it in the bum, but he’s got complete control of how his top moves (demanding that he slow down/speed up that sort of thing)

Kinks that I think are pooie:

Pooie

Watersports

Necrophilia

Pedophilia

Bestiality

Incest

Mpreg

#oc rp #multiple paragraph #long term #email #messenger #submission

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