#im not usually about Human!Morpheus and then realized how much of a Hot Fuckin Mess he would be and it got funny

[linddzz]

Bouncing this au idea between @insufferablearchanist and @amahhi and finally need to put it here but

Human!Morpheus AU where Hob is the guy posting the Craigslist ad offering to be the horrifying"date" you take home for a holiday dinner to make your family shut up

Morpheus, half a bottle of wine in, being horribly enabled by Joanne, emails him because he has had. it. with questions about his personal life since the divorce with Calliope.

Which is hilarious because A) he's not self aware enough to realize that out of the two of them, Hob is NOT the red flag Hot Mess Date. And B) his family is Like That and he still thinks bringing home a bartender is going to be scandalous

Desire is just like "his last relationship was a messy screaming marriage with another art bitch and he has the audacity to bring this man home like the long hair and van isn't cancelled out by the fucking cardigan"