#im not the best at canon cegan so whatever

[cxgan]

Blizzard (Like This)

SHIP: Cegan [Carl/Negan]

SUMMARY: S9 finale fix-it. Carl never died, Rick never got lost. Carl is stuck at Alexandria watching his siblings during the storm. Carl and Negan talk while everyone sleeps. 

WARNINGS: mild language, angst, fluff

W/C: 1,962

A/N: Idk where this came from because I haven’t had muse in awhile. Honestly this just started because I wanted a big old spoon chain with my babies. And of course wanted Carl alive, duh. THE FINALE WE DESERVED. Please let me know what you think. Comments > just likes and reblogs.

They had never had a blizzard like this. 

Sometimes it snowed, sure. An inch or two here or there during the winter months. But aside from bundling up and having a few more fires, there wasn't much else they needed to do. Maybe the climate was finally changing after all of these years without society barreling down on the world. Maybe they were due for another ice age. Whatever it was, Carl didn't like it. He especially didn't like it knowing that his dad and Michonne weren't home during it. That they were out helping the Kingdom get to Hilltop after the community had finally crumbled. It wasn't that he didn't care for them - of course he did - but being out in this bad of a storm wasnt a good idea for even the most hardened of warriors. 

And here he was. Stuck in the council hall doing nothing but trying to keep warm and watch over his siblings. He felt so... useless. Felt like he needed to get out there and do something. 

"Don't be a dumb ass, you know they're alright." A voice broke him from his thoughts and he looked up. Negan, sitting on the floor with his back pressed into a cot. Looking far too casual for how cold it was. 

"I'm not worried," he snapped from where he was sitting on a large mattress. 

"Yeah, 'n I'm Princess Diana," the former savior said with a snort, rubbing at his wrists where he had been handcuffed moments before. Carl had taken them off the second everyone else had fallen asleep. He wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to be around the love of his life when he wasn't behind bars (did he really just think love of his life? Gross.). Negan reached out with his foot and kicked at Carl's own boot, receiving a one eyed glare in return. "Seriously, they ain't stupid enough to stay out in this hell," he gestured to everything around them. "Yer pops probably chucked them all into some smelly ass old barn for the night. They'll be fine."

"I said I'm not worried," Carl snapped again. When Negan gave him a look he rolled his eye. "Whatever," he retorted before pulling his coat around himself further and resisting the urge to shiver. They had the fire, yeah, but it was still chilly. 

"Cold?" Negan asked.

"No, I'm warmer than I've ever been. Feel like I'm on a beach or something," he snarked, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

The older male simply chuckled at him. Carl didn't look over at him, but he heard him shift. "C'mere," he muttered. 

Carl looked up, surveyed the room around them. Everyone else had fallen asleep at least an hour ago. No one was really keeping watch with the storm going on outside. Only him and Negan were awake. He almost moved, shifted ever so slightly, but a warm, gloved hand that was pushed into his thigh almost slid off and he caught it right before it did. Half of RJ's body was pressed into his back, and Judith's hand (arms wrapped around her little brother) was resting on his thigh. He shook his head. "I can't leave them."

"Well then I'll come to you. That mattress looks a little warmer than this piece of shit," he gestured backwards to the cot. 

"You're sitting on the floor."

"Case in point, smart ass. Now go lay down while I make myself pretty." He watched the man move and stand up and Carl snorted, shaking his head as he himself stood up. He watched Negan for a moment, stand and flex his shoulders, stretch his arms. It probably felt good not to be confined to a tiny room with a shitty cot. His chest ached a bit at the fact that it had been almost eight years and the man was still locked behind bars. If only he had the balls to tell his dad how he really felt about the man things would be better. (Deep down, he knew his dad would be at least okay with it. He had to have caught on by now just how much time Carl spent with the prisoner, how much he did for him. Maybe they were both just hiding the truth from fear of losing one another. But Carl knew he'd never lose his dad.)

Negan caught him staring and lifted an eyebrow at him with a cocky smirk, causing Carl to shoot him an icy glare before turning around. He saw RJ shiver from loss of body contact and quickly moved to tuck the blankets on him up closer to his chin. He shifted Judith's hands to nestle further around the youngest boy and moved to the other side of the mattress. Well. Mattresses. It was a couple of them shoved together. 

He debated taking his boots off for comfort but decided to leave them on, figuring that was one of the main things keeping him warm. So he quickly lifted the thick wool blankets up and slid underneath them behind his sister. He stayed on his back while he got warm, not wanting to suck up against the young girl's back and leech off her body heat for his own benefit. 

He closed his eyes and let himself relax for a moment. Negan was right, as insufferable as his reminders were sometimes. His dad and Michonne were probably fine. They had survived this long; they knew what to do. He just needed to relax and take a few deep breaths. 

He was exhausted, after all. Spending the day wrangling a restless and cooped up RJ, making dinner, figuring out what the rest of them were going to do both during and after the storm. At least Judith was mature enough now to just sit in a corner and do homework while the rest of them worked. And he had to admit, her constant quips at Negan all day had been hilarious to witness. He heard the man mutter at one point that he hoped RJ left him alone when he got older, because 'two annoying Grimes children were enough to deal with on a daily basis'. Carl was proud. 

He felt movement to his left and opened his eye to see Negan spreading out his own coat on top of Judith and RJ. He bit his lip. "You don't..."

"Shut up, kid. They need it more than I do. And now I gotta hot little body to keep me warm all night, don't I?" he punctuated his words with a wink and Carl scoffed. 

"We're not doing anything next to my siblings, pervert. Now get under here before you freeze to death." He held the blankets up and Negan didn't have to be told twice, dipping down and scooting onto the mattress next to Carl. The boy turned on his side to face him, immediately wrapping his arm around his torso. Even with his other jacket and the stupid dark blue jumpsuit he was cold to the touch. He gazed up at the man, silhouetted by the fire in the dark. He had pulled on a beanie at some point in the last few minutes. 

"Why is it always about sex with you? Can't a man just wanna get his cuddle on and still appreciate the body he's cuddlin' with?" Negan quipped. 

"Always about sex? With me? You fuckin..." It took the man's low timbre of a laugh near his head to realize he was joking. Carl slugged him in the chest. "You're a dick," he muttered, sighing and laying his head on the man's shoulder. 

Negan finished his laugh and pressed a long kiss to Carl's forehead. "That's me." He stretched out and sighed, his body clearly not used to being on cushion. "Damn, you know how long it's been since I've been in a bed? Since we've..."

"Yeah," Carl muttered and cut him off, closing his eyes. It had been a very, very long time. Ages ago. He didn't want to think about that. Didn't want to think about just how long Negan had gone without normal human amenities during his sentence. Didn't want to think about how he hadn't begged Carl even once to try and convince his dad to let him out. Didn't try and get him to use their relationship for his own benefit. It just made Carl feel like an ass.

"Last time we were in a bed, yer dad slit my throat the next day. How fucked is that?" he said with a huff of laughter. Carl half-assed smacked him again. 

"Shut up. Don't you ever sleep? Just let me enjoy this."

"Alright, alright. Sorry, Sleeping Beauty." Another long kiss pressed to his forehead and Carl sighed in contentment. It had been a long time since they had been this close to each other. It felt almost wrong, despite the fact they had 'been together' for so long. Only inches apart by those fucking bars but god, sometimes it felt like miles. It felt good to be this close to him again.

Of course the man didn't actually shut up. "I know my dick was in yer mouth like, two days ago. But it feels weird holdin' you like this." And of course the man read his mind again like he always seemed to do. 

"It does," he agreed. He opened his eye and shifted upwards in the mans arms. Sighing, he pressed his forehead into the side of the man's head. "I'm gonna get you out of there for good soon." It was a statement. He was going to figure it out.  

"Don't worry about it, sugar. Got all I need down there. Bed, books, food. Judy visits, I got you - " 

"I'm serious."

For once, Negan didn't say anything. Didn't keep prattling on about how great his life was behind bars because they both knew he only ever did it to try and make Carl feel better. But Carl also hadn't ever made any sort of pledge to try and get him out before. Let alone soon. So instead of saying something, he heard the man swallow and then move to catch his lips in his own. It caught Carl off guard but he kissed him back with no less fury, only pulling back when it started to get a little too deep. 

Nothing else was said and Carl sighed, beat from the day, and slid back down to his normal height next to the man. Only instead of staying facing him he turned around. Thankfully Negan took the hint and turned with him until his back was flush up against the older man's chest, arms wrapped around the boy. Carl kept one hand clutched around the arms around him and scooted forward so Judith's back was to his chest, the fibers of her beanie tickling at his nose. 

"I love you, Carl." It wasn't something they said very often, which was odd considering how much Carl's family said it to each other. Maybe him and Negan were afraid of it, because whenever they did say it it was usually whispered in the dark in the middle of the night. And it was typically Carl that said it first. So Negan's soft admission caught him a bit off guard and he stared ahead of their little spooning chain, squeezing the former saviors hand a little tighter and biting his lip. 

"I love you too, idiot. Now go to sleep before I punch you there," he whispered, fearful anything louder would wake his incredibly light sleeper sister awake. 

Negan's chuckle rumbled against his back as the man buried his face into Carl's hair. "Whatever you want, baby boy."

He'd talk to his dad the second he got back. It was time.