#im not sure if this would be an objectum thing either????

[fearsomegaybeast]

what is it called when you feel like inanimate objects are like, sentient, not like possesed bc i still do believe in possesion in some extent (my plushies) but like you unconsiously believe that mundane objects (even something as bland as a fucking wall) are kinda sentient, not fully but as intelligent as a jellyfish maybe????

[osorcanine]

do you have any experience telling a therapist about being objectum? i really want to tell her but im worried shes gonna think bad of it

I haven’t told mine, tbqh.

I honestly am not sure how to do it either. I would personally explain where I think my orientation comes from (tldr for me it’s a mix of things including trauma but also ‘this is just how I am’; you don’t need a ‘reason’ to be OS/OR btw I just think there’s some stuff that ‘amplifies’ my orientation) and how it is not the same as ‘just having a fetish/paraphilia’ (not that that is bad, or even dissimilar - there’s overlap with being OS/OR and you can be both OS/OR and have a fetish/paraphilia, but they’re not exact equals). I would probably go into the aspects of the love that are hard for me like shame and self hate.

I honestly don’t feel any need to tell her, but I have thought about it.

If you’re struggling with your sexuality and feel that in general that your T is safe, you could broach the topic in general - ‘I heard about someone who is dating a pillow; they feel the full range of attraction to objects and love them like people— what do you think about that?’ Seeing what reaction that gets might help you decide if you want to tell. And if you do, if you get any response that isn’t affirming and kind, your T is being a shithead. Even if someone doesn’t understand being OS/OR, that doesn’t mean they can’t respect it.

Hell, you could talk about your orientation vaguely (‘I have a less known sexual orientation and I’m [feeling x negative way abt it], what can I do to combat that?’) and never actually mention being OS/OR, I think. Gauge reaction to that and decide to further disclose if you want to.

I hope something here helps - this is something I think about from time to time and wonder how to approach, because it is kind of delicate.

[abandonedabandoned]

i just saw the aro questions so ima do the three weeks now

Week 1

1. How did you realize you were aro/arospec? How long have you known I’ve known for at least two years, but I can’t remember how (memory problems.) I’ve known one of my headmates was aroace before i knew i was arospec, maybe Happy helped?

2. Have you come out to anyone? Share a coming out story (coming out to yourself also counts)! All of my friends and partners know, i dont really have any Story

3. How/Why is your aromanticism important to you/your identity? Its important because I want all my friendships to be as important, socially, as my romantic ones. Ive always put my heart and soul into my friends, even if I have been dating someone

4. What are some misconceptions about aromanticism that bother you? Other than the general “heartless bastard” trope im not too sure. Maybe the misconception everyones either full aro or demi? Idk

5. What’s something you like about being aro/arospec? Something you dislike? Its given me a finer appreciation of platonic relationships, but i dont know what the FUCKIN DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PLATONIC AND ROMANTIC ARE. WHATS THE DIFFERENCE. WHAT IS IT, GOD? Also the self-consciousness i get bc im dating ppl? While arospec? sucks.

Week 2

1. What aro-spectrum labels, terms, descriptors, and identities do you identify with? Neuro-, nebula-, echo-, praes-, minus-, magis-, ficto-, depend-, propeest-, chaein-, idem-, plura-, icula-, arospec, arofluid, schroromantic, (possibly) romoforced.... we dont have many descriptors do we?

2. Talk about other aspects of your identity that are important to you, that are meaningful parts of you like your aromanticism, such as ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, neurodivergence, mental illness, chronic illness, disabilities, etc.  I’m pansexual, with preferences (depending on whether we’re talking about attraction in theory or in practice,) im nonbinary, VERY Xenic. I’m also polyamorous, believe it or not. I have Autism and a lot of mental illnesses and if we wanna be real fun im Objectum also.

3. How do other aspects of your identity intersect with or affect your aromanticism?  Most obvious thing is Autism makes it a bitch to determine what romantic attraction is. Less obvious is OCD making me feel like im not allowed to be attracted (sexually or romantically) to Real Life People, so 99% of the people I’m attracted to are fictional. My partner system and Griffin Mcelroy are probably the only exceptions. (i love griffin.) I like to think my Polyamory is partially because of my look at love, or at least how i Want to look at it, that theres not A person youre going to love forever and ever and thats your Romance Dude. Theres a fine line between loving no people and loving Lots of people, in my opinion. Really im the worlds worst arospec, im like SUPER romantic?

4. Have any of your identities impacted you realizing you were aromantic, your questioning process, or coming to terms with it?  uuuuuuuuUUUUUuuuuh memory problems again

Week 3

1. What is your favorite aspect of the aro and arospec community?  No one gives a fuck. No one really judges, man. “Hey Im Hatch, I have a partner system with a fuckload of partners in there and im still arospec” and yall just like “well ok how ya doin there”

2. Are there any notable differences in your experiences in this community and other LGBTQIA+ spaces you have been in?  i havent been in many “spaces”

3. What’s one way that the aro community could be better or more inclusive? Do you have any tips on improving in this regard?  Well... I feel like people tend to push aside romantic aros to accomidate nonamorous or romance-repulsed ones. Nonamorous and RR folks DO need way more space in this community, they really do, horribly under-represented, but its a really weird space we have where neither romantic nor non-romantic aros are represented at all

4. Do you think there are flaws in the way that different types of attractions are navigated, discussed, and defined in the aro community?  I dunno, i dont super read that much.

5. Do you consider yourself nonamorous, amorous, aplatonic, experiencing queerplatonic attraction, etc., or do you not use those terms? Are you romance positive, neutral, repulsed, or don’t use those labels? Do these answers intersect?  If amorous means what i think it means, I think im that. I’m very romance positive, i experience QP attraction

6. Have you ever been in a relationship you would consider committed, such as a queerplatonic/quasiplatonic, romantic, soft romo, friends-with-benefits, or others? How did being arospec affect that and the boundaries you set?  I’m currently in qp relationships!  I have Dennis and all the qps in my partner system. I don’t really know how the arospec stuff affected it, I think arospec people are just in general more likely to have those relationships but thats about it