#im not really in a healthy headspace right now so if i get death threats or something for this it might break me

[crisisdotorg]

Hi thanks for sharing! It's true what you said about needing safe space for women from men, as well as giving them more opportunities. I cannot disagree with you on those points, and I thank you for bringing that up. Tbh I easily get swayed by overly simplified tiktok videos, and I didn't realize the person posting that video misunderstood and oversimplified some things.

But I guess where we disagree is that I believe trans women are welcomed in those spaces. I'm a bit disappointed and sad by the way you refer to trans women if im being honest. My reasoning for supporting trans women is:

1. gender is socially constructed, so we can do whatever the fuck we want with it, it doesn't matter. Though obviously that does not mean that our sex assigned at birth is irrelevant, like yes, being born female or male or intersex is pertinent information in certain situations such as with a doctor, even a psychologist, etc. I would say the relevance of being trans in competitive sports is a bit nuanced bc of testosterone and whatnot and I haven't really dived into researching that yet so Idk about that yet but I'll admit I'm inclined to want to find a way to include all women no matter their identity.

2. At the end of the day, we're just human. I've personally met a lot of trans women and heard a lot of their stories, and yeah, when they're perceived as women, they are just as in danger being around men as cis women are. Yes, trans women experience different things when it comes to their bodies, yes cis women have periods, can make children (though, a scientist recently successfully transplanted a uterus in a trans woman's body), but this isn't oppression olympics. Like i dont expect a trans woman to know exactly what it's like to be a cis woman, but she still deserves to be treated nicely and we still need to understand that they are in danger. Men don't care if someone is trans or not when it comes to misogyny, let's be real. They see something that looks like a woman and will be abusive. They don't think trans women are equal to them. The numbers don't lie, trans people are most likely to die when found out about being trans. It's really horrifying. I wish all women could include all women even if they don't personally understand their experiences. And my heart breaks when i see women so divided on this. We don't need to understand someone to include them.

3. People can do whatever they want with their bodies. It's not mutilation otherwise we'd start calling getting one ear pierced mutilation, all surgeries mutilation, etc. Like shit. Anyway, let people enjoy things and yes that extends to gender.

4. Truth be told, if trans women were men, then they wouldn't try to be a woman. Sorry but men live amazing lives in constract. Obviously trans women dont choose to be trans otherwise theyd wanna be cis cause that's less complicated and u get less prosecuted. Like being trans is very dangerous and scary in this world. If u were born male and could choose ur gender, you would stay male cause the world treats u better. Hence why, it's not a choice. Trans women are women and their experiences are valid :)

Ok this post is kinda long and im not even saying half of what i want, but idk if u know what i mean? Trans women arent dangerous. Idk if u ever met one irl and had a conversation with her? I have a million times (queer club at my school) and they're not the weirdos u make them out to be. Look, my dad used to hate gay men religiously like he would say really mean things about them. Then, one day my sister brought over a good friend of hers who was a gay man, and my dad talked to him, and was open minded while doing so. Suddenly, he didn't hate gay men anymore. Suddenly, he understood them a bit better. Like maybe if u tried talking to a trans woman irl? Maybe more than one? Just really hear them out? They're really just like u and me, wanting to have a safe space, wanting to be accepted. They don't deserve any of the hate they get. It's just not fair.

what she said ♡