#im not over my ex huh…i keep acting like it isn’t still fresh

[jaunejonquille]

Crying over a girl again, what’s new

[theteenagemaze]

26th august 2021

today i came home from spending the night at my sisters house after a heated fight with my parents over seemingly nothing. during the fight my phone, door handle, tv remote and mental stability were destroyed. i hope to get a replacement phone in the near future since we claimed it on insurance by lying are saying it fell of the back of a car and was ran over. i also pleaded that we moved from the out back into my town since for the last 7 years of my childhood I've been locked in this 2 and a half acre block with a $40 dollar cab fee to freedom. although each time we fight I bring up my feeling on our living situation and how i feel cut off for my total of too friend but its mostly ignored since the realization of a new hole in the walls is a bigger problem then my worthless feelings.

schools going shit since a girl whos mother passed away gets treated like she’ll soon die too. the best guitar in music class. hers. the only available study room in the library. hers. the first to try a science experiment. hers. the solos in the school choir. hers. the lead role in the school musical. hers. i cant even name something that isn't hers. everyone eats out of her hand like an obedient ex-army dog that lives to protect their master. on the other hand the troubled girls from another school get given so many chances to succeed alas they flush them down the toilet like a fresh shit they plucked from their own self image. they can beat, threaten, verbally assault, stalk, and spit on people and they'll blame it on their home life. if its their home life that's the problem then fix that instead of throwing all of this under the carpet. another thing is this one sooky bitch whos father owns the restaurant that me and many other people i know work at. she thinks she suicidal when she's been sheltered her whole life and has never been exposed to drugs, alcohol, vapes, sexual assault, self harm, domestic abuse or anything else but somehow she's suicide and ended up at a $300 therapy session and never went back because “they asked too many questions” like is that not the whole fucking point you dumb bitch. all she does is act depressed and then takes it out on me at work witch is basically work place abuse but i cant fucking report her because what are they gunna do huh? fire her? they fucking cant she's the bosses daughter and might i add the youngest of three. 

on the plus side i've recently met two wonderful girls and re-connected within old male friend after he started his transition and they've really helped. edie who lives in my town is the biggest sweet heart i know, when my latest fright happened with my parents happened her first question wasn't. “your just lying for attention.” or something along the lines of “aha who one!”. it was “omg ore you safe? are you ok do you need someone to stay with my boyfriend and i can pick you up??”. and honestly that lit a small hopefully fire inside me. a fire that comforted me unlike no other. my other new friend, zoe. she live in outback brisbane witch is quite far away from where i live. she's 16 and smokes often. she's currently looking after two hairless cats that we refer to as “the testis”. they smell fear... shes lovely and we could talk for hours if he phone didn't die ever 5 minutes. i'm honestly tempted to mail her a charges since hers is held together by duct tape after she tried to hot-wire it to charge a vape. she has a great sense of humor that aligns with mine perfectly. we often joke about walking to each others home saying “be at your in 5 aha”. and last but not least marshal the only decent one of the many friends i've had. he's kind and funny and makes a lot of spelling mistakes when we text. well i cant really judge him on that myself whilst im typing this its hard to keep up with the red underlined words i keep correcting. but anyway back to marshal. we originally met at a dance group when he was pre-transition. back then he thought i was homophobic and hated him when i was actually deep in the closet and thought he was the coolest person ever and a matter of fact i still do! to be honest i thought i was bi but these days bi is such a thrown around term and really doesn't feel right. i only thought i was bi because i was attracted to some men but i could never imagine anything other then just looking at them, basically nothing sexual. but when i look at another woman it just feels. right. my parents, siblings, concealers, friends and even teachers tell me to settle down and find a nice boy to live with or to go to all the footy games and try to catch a partner. and during those moments i just want to scream “IM A LESBIAN I DONT LIKE MEN I NEVER WILL SHUTUP” but i know im to pussy so i plan to move out of state with whomever my closest friend is at the time when i turn 17 and never look back.

but anyway thanks for listening.

senscierly, maze

[mingi-bubu]

Watch “Love O2O” with Me!

Episode 3

hiiii

we are back at it again with me screaming about my love for erxi and xiao nai

also entering a new player: my envy over the eyebrows of several characters

but im excited!!!

ok, i have my water, i have my m&ms, my phone is plugged it (again just bc it needed it) and the n*tflix is pulled up

as one of my favorite canucks on my canadian line would say, lezgeddit!

ok so we left off last time at yixiao naihe calling luwei weiwei to the cloud pavillion or w/e it was called bc he had the guy who called her a harlot there

and then a slow torture process began that both wei2 and nai kinda dipped out for bc studying and phone call respectively

whilst they were “asleep” in-game, three girls (i think theyre part of the wedding party for zhenshai if i remeber his name correctly and the situation but anyways) three girls showed up and started lowkey protesting against the treatment of mr harlot bc theyre part of his clan or are teammates or w/e

we enter this episode with wei2 “waking up” to talk to the girls

she really said keep steppin its not any of your business

damn naihe really said fuck y’all

oh damn naihe really said he’ll talke them on his own

adklsfalksdjfalksdjf mr harlot is named shixie and he really did just dip out to shower and came back to still being tied up and hacked at

THEY DID NOT JUST LEAVE HIM THERE TO BE TIED UP IM SCREAMING

she is so attracted to him right now i canot beieve

oh my god he is vicious i love him

naihe i know youre married but im proposing

ohmygod this is really cute i fuckgina

OH MY GOD

THATS SO CUTE I CANT FUCKGIN

UGH I WANT TO BE THEM

oh i was right OH MY GOD IS YAOYAO NANA???

FUCKING HUGE IF TRUE

also damn they really are going to go behind his back and do the film anyways huh

!!!! september!!!

oh um nana,,,,that dress is a little uhhh

see throught

i would die for september and i want y’all to know that

yiran i think is not so much the snake as nana is

NO OH MY GOD

YIRAN AND WEIWEI’S IN GAME EX ARE COUSINGS

IM SCREAMIGN

also i know that hes kinda a dick but hes a pretty one

nana is definitely into him

which gross

shaoxiang

that’s his hname

oh my god this is so awkward

....just because shes pretty and comes from a good family doesnt mean that hes going to like you

xiao nai is going to turn down yiran’s uncle’s offer isnt he

just bc ~drama~

did he really just miss that entire exchange

oh my god

nana is really doing the most

this scene acting is v awk

side note isnt september turnip man in the untamed?

i love that september is so dramatic im proposing to him

DRAG THEM YOU BEAUTIFYL KING

xiaoling your outfit

i am looking respectfully

oh

oh no

dont tell me

this is the same company that yiran’s uncle owns

also why cant they do a mix of both

yiran’s outfit except for the shoes is really cute

blease let her uncle know that nepotism is bad

i like his blazer

oh dear

oh ok shes his assistant not an intern

he really does give in too easily huh

her cousin’s dressed nicely tho

i like his fit

ma’am theyre just mugs

OOOOHHHH MY TWO BOYS ARE LOOKING FRESH AS FUCK

ugh the jeans

and the buttondown

im propoisgn

alksdjf;alsdkjfa;slkjfa;lsdkjf SEPTENMETER

HIS FACE IM FUCKING

september looks really nice rn

oh god the tea is gonna suck huh?

booooo i want drama

they really walked in and saw how everyone else is dressed and didnt think that they looked out of place

erxi isn’t straight

its basically canon bc im queer and i said so

i am getting skeevy vibes about this

but that’s fine

we’ll see what happens

dkldfjas;ldkfj septembere really just be sippin

i lvoe him

oof

damn

submarine fucking SUNK BABIE

i loVE SEPTERMS BAG HE IS A STYLE ICON

shoulders

SHOulDERS

l;aksdjf september baby now is not the time to be screaming

im on my knee to propose

to both of them

alskdfjals;dkjf sept babieeee

god hes so hot

that was such a ugh hot move im in lvoe

also

yiran needs better people around her that arent such greasy people

YAY

OK LETS SEE THIS ZHAO ERXI JIAYOU!!!!

oh dear

nevermind

this isnt going to end well for erxi and weiwei

oh dear poor erxi

oh no

oH NOOOO

oh my god

this isnt going to end well

yo erxi better tell wei2 that she used her handle

she did thats good

SEPTEMBERRRR

i love his dramatic ass nature

OH FUCK GOD I SIKLJJ;KAWENFOAENWF

THE WAY HIS FACE CHANGED

IM SCREAMIGN

SEPTERMBER KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK IS UP

B  I  T C H

A;KLDFJA;LKDJF

HAHAHAHAHA HES SO DRAMATIC IM PROPOSGIN

I LOVE THEM

OH SHIT WHAT UPPPP

UGH

IM SO EXCITED FOR WHEN THEY MEET IRL

xiaoling looks so cute hadfaklsjd

how do you forget you have tutoring

thats a lie i tutor during the semester i understand akjfdkls

oh god do i really have to deal with photo boy

ugh im sick of him

so the door lady really not gonna say anthing

DAMN THATS A NICE FUCKING PLACE

THIS KID IS FANTASTIC

OH MY GOD

I LOVE HIM

I WANT TO GIVE HIM ANYTHING HE WANTS

damn his office is decked the fuck out i love it

this kid is my new favorite character

he better stop looking at her like that i will *knife emoji*

juice is just as bad as soda

bitch did you think you were just going to walk around???

tt

thats a nice fucking kitchen

love that yakult helped sponsor this

xiaoyang you are my favorite guy in this sorry xiao nai and september

you are now second and third respectively

OH MY GOD

DRAG HIMMMMM

I LOVE HIM

FUCK THIS PHOTO BOY

I LOVE HTIS KIDDO

YAAAASSS WEIWEI IS A QUEEN

I LOVE HER AND XIAOYANG’S RELATIONSHIP

ahahhaahhahaah

i want to see this kid and chen youwei in a drama as siblings i think it’d be so cute

HE REALLY PICKED OUT XIAO NAI I-FUCKING-CONIC

I LVOE HIS MIND

photo boy deleted the post and apologized

i dont trust his trickass shady ass tho

but anyways that s besides the point

we are at the end of the episode!

i understand that these first episodes are to help really like..settle and show the characters

but they still managed to pack so much drama in it

and so many cute moments between wei2 and nai

well that’s all for this episode!

thank you for reading!!!

stay safe and stay healthy <333