#im not ok i just want him and mcd back guys

[eurydicees]

fanfic writing review!!

thanks for the tag @goatunderthebridge , i appreciate it lots and this was super fun to write out <3333

How many works do you have on Ao3?

89 total, 26 from this year! i've been publishing on ao3 since 2019. my grand dream was to reach 100 by the end of this year but uh. that was ambitious. clearly.

Your top 5 stories by kudos:

another word for wanting (zukka, 23119 words)

this one was super fun to write at the time but i do look back on it and like. think a lot about all the things i could improve about it lol. the perfectionist in me has a hard time with this one partially because it's my most popular fic. by like. an INSANE margin. like it's not even close. i mean overall i'm pretty proud of it and i'm SUPER happy and honored people read it, i just think i could do the concept better if i tried it again now.

clean hands to hold him with, a clean house to love him with (sakuatsu/miya twins genfic, 4070 words)

this one started as a short tumblr fic that i made into a longer thing to publish on ao3, and i'm really glad i did. i'm very proud of this fic i think, especially given that i'd never really written osamu before. i'm also really happy with the way atsumu turned out in this one.

where a laugh meets a cry (tamakyo, 5351 words)

i'm still really proud of this one lol. it makes me so happy that it's one of my most popular because i really did put so much love into it. i do think my characterization of tamakyo (kyoya especially) has grown a lot since this, but i'm still really happy with how this turned out. also the response it got was genuinely overwhelming with how kind and generous people were with it, so it has a special place in my heart because of that too.

another love letter you'll never read (stucky, 6419 words)

LMFAO i didn't actually realize this was one of my top fics. but i'm glancing through it now and honestly? not my worst work.

and oh, now speak this gentle love aloud (sakuatsu, 5913 words)

ok i'm gonna be real guys i'm not actually that happy with this fic. i'm so so so appreciative of how kind commenters were with it, and i love that people liked it so much! but it does not feel like my best sakuatsu, nor my best writing in general. idk im very grateful for the love this got, i just also think i have better works lol.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yeah, i respond to all of them! sometimes it takes me like. a month. but i will pretty much always eventually get back to a comment. i'm so so so grateful every time i get a comment, and i genuinely LOVE hearing people's thoughts on my silly little works! it makes me so happy to read comments and so i always want to give my thanks back :)

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

hmmm the first one to come to mind was "in the arms of loyalty and the hands of devotion" because it has MCD and i'm really proud of how i wove that narrative together to end with that, but then i thought about it and i've fully written multiple MCD fics lol. i think "all the things he left you with in the aftermath (& all you'd do to get him back)" does really interesting things with death and hope and tragedy, so i might say that one though.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

i feel like i mostly write happy endings? so depends what you're looking for in happy tbh. "gonna build you a bridge over the pacific" has a really sweet ending imo and i'm really happy with the way that one turned out.

Do you write crossovers?

not really? i don't think i ever have, now that i think about it. i've written AUs of other media i like, but never a legit crossover. i don't really read them either.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

like yes and no. there was someone(s?) who was really offended by "i've got the matchmaker on speed dial" because kyoya is half-latino in that fic and i got an upset comment and ask lol. but that was resolved pretty quickly imo, so i'm not too hung up about it.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i would be too powerful if i was capable of writing smut so god gave me an extra dose of internalized shame and anxiety to keep my writing prowess in check.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

uh. not as far as i know? i sure hope not.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yeah!!! you can read "shakespeare for lovers" in russian here!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

back in my wattpad days i did!! me and a friend wrote a [redacted] fic about [redacted]. i haven't since then though. tbh i'd still be open to trying it out, but i think we'd have to have an established friendship already, and we'd have to be REALLY clear about responsibilities.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

this is an evil question and i refuse to answer it.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

sighing. i am haunted by so many WIPs. i have two drafts for the next pieces to the hearts of our own design series but they've been sitting there for so long. i also have an iwaoi confession/coming out/feelings realization fic that sits and laughs at me while i struggle to write a sentence.

What are your writing strengths?

i think i'm good at capturing emotions in general? idk. i really enjoy figuring out how to describe feelings because they can often be so complex and contradictory. i also have a really hard time describing my OWN feelings, so i get a lot of satisfaction from being able to realistically capture emotion in a character lol. i think even if a character is in a deeply unrelatable position, i'm alright at making it understandable. idk.

What are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue fr. i struggle so much with making characters TALK. a lot of the storytelling pillars i'm at least decent or passable at: i can do the thought process, i can do the character analysis, i can do the scenic descriptions, i can do the sensory feelings. but oh my god i start writing dialogue and the whole time i'm in my head wailing WOULD HE FUCKING SAY THAT.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i don't actually have many opinions on this tbh. i think if it's done, like, badly then it's super jarring and frustrating to read. if it's done well, like go for it ig. but that's kinda just true of everything. all in all, you can make it work for sure if you do it right. it's not really something i'm interested in doing though, stylistically.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for but want to?

i don't think there's anything really lined up right now! i'm chipping away at my holiday fics and my spotify wrapped prompts and having a good time with those. i'm not really putting anything off atm.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

"who's your favorite child, eurydicees" "which of your organs are you proudest of, eurydicees" "which part of your heart is the most important to you, eurydicees" i dunno man. it's honestly easier to tell you which ones i'm least fond of. but that's so negative and sad. idk. my top few in reverse order of publication are probably

well i did START making this list

it got too long

then i had a crisis over what to put

im done now

whatever. thanks for reading if u got this far<333 tagging anyone who should be writing right now but is on tumblr instead. you know who you are.

[bfwonho]

AITA but i dont wanna use reddit

ok you know what here is the situation. my (only recently) 20 yr old friend (i met them four years ago when we both worked at mcd) lived with their strict, emotionally abusive, overprotective parents until recently. their parents would confiscate tech for yrs at a time, wouldn't let them get vaccinated (i had to help them do that), guilt and shame them, etc. also obviously homophobic and my friend is transfem nb and queer. theyre also the eldest sibling of quite a few and had to handle the pressure of that responsibility and their parents never wanted them to do normal things like getting a car and moving out. i was always there encouraging them even when we stopped working together bc i was like fuck this naive gullible homeschooled kid has no one and they remind me of my younger sibling and im gonna be there for them as much as i can. the only reason they even got a car eventually is cus i kept telling them to so they cld move out

cut back to barely a year ago, they're still so naive and gullible they've lent like 1k+ to ppl who won't pay them back, but they still have like 10-20k in savings and now their own car. they also get into digital art with my help and get into furry porn or whatever. im like ok i guess ur an adult now do what u want. and then theyre like "ive got an online partner from CANADA!!! (we r australian) don't freak out i know it's bad but he's 30." i'm like oh god. they've been together 3 months ish and my friend RLY wants to visit their fuckass boyfriend and i'm like please be careful, please wait at least a year, i know u wont wanna listen to how i rly feel about this but at least just take these precautions. i'm also like when you do meet irl he should come here ur barely 19 and he's 30 like it only makes sense. and theyre like "thank u i promise i will do that"

and then maybe 10 or 11 months into their relationship i find out my friend is in canada with their bf, and has been for like a month, and i only know this bc they're asking if i can pick them up from sydney airport. im like errr that's pretty far away but take the train and i'll pick you up from the station and they're like ok sure! and i ask a bit more about it and find out they believe their parents have been hacking into their laptop because why else would they be suspicious that this canadian guy is their boyfriend, i'm like actually no offense but it's really fucking obvious i don't think they did that... and they're like "yeah anyway my parents are no longer picking me up which is why i need a lift, i admitted i have a boyfriend and they're calling him a pedo (and i almost agree but i just smile and nod) and so i'm not going back and taking their bs anymore, i'm gonna sleep in my car if i have to" so i offer for them to stay at my place for a few weeks.

they go get their stuff from their place, i buy them a pizza cus they havent had dinner, i help them get their stuff inside, set up a temporary bed. they tell me they plan to be out within a few days, i tell them they can stay longer if they need to, but currently their only job is doordash and they should focus on getting a real job so they can find a place and i'm more than happy to help them find somewhere. theyre the type of person to say sorry for everything and not let themselves ever feel comfortable, so i make sure they know they can use the kitchen and bathroom and everything while they're here and to not feel like a huge burden, im gonna be charging them a tiny bit of rent anyway so yeah.

now tell me why it's been over a month, they've applied to only a few places, i specifically put in a good word with them at my job and told them to call back and ask about the application and they just haven't, they've just been doordashing and filling my entire fridge and cupboard with their food, i tell them to use the laundromat cus we don't have enough space for their washing too and they end up asking if they can use our washing machine anyway (i reluctantly say yes), they destroy all my kitchen sponges on washing this one shitty pan i have cus they have to cook an entire grand meal from scratch for breakfast lunch and dinner, they wash up but i'm the only person who cleans the floors and the bathroom so now i'm feeling cramped and stressed out...

i ask my mum about what to do, she says give them 2 weeks to move out, my mum is a guarantor on my lease so in the group chat i explain the situation and say they have 2 weeks, they NEVER RESPOND and start not coming home until late at night... i'm considering moving into another place with a friend atp so i'm like yo maybe you can get on this lease and THEN they respond and start showing up again... and today i called and updated mum on the situation and her partner got on the phone, me and my sibling only got this place cus he apparently called in a favour cus we were rly struggling to find any fucking housing, and so he says "tell him i mean THEMMM if theyre not out tomorrow i will forcibly remove them" and so my sibling makes sure to tell them this face to face so they cant avoid actually responding. i also find out today that this whole time they've been flat broke (to the point they had to borrow my money just to get petrol despite doordashing like 40 hours a week) because they HAVE BEEN HELPING. PAY. THEIR GROWN ASS. SHITTY FUCKING USELESS. PARTNERS. RENT. THIS GROWN ASS MAN NOT ONLY HAD THEM PAY TO GO SEE HIM AND SUCK HIM OFF AND COOK FOR HIM. NOT ONLY WAS LETTING THEM GO BACK TO AUSTRALIA AND JUST BE HOMELESS. BUT HE IS ACTIVELY TAKING THEIR FUCKING MONEY. despite all of this i am deep down INCREDIBLY GLAD that my mum's partner put his foot down to get them out of my house and i feel guilty about it despite risking eviction cus im breaking my lease agreement by having them here loooll

tldr my 20 yr old friend has been living in my house illegally for over a month bc they refuse to go back to their shitty parents, they are however broke and don't have a stable job and their 30 yr old boyfriend is leeching off of them, and now i'm essentially kicking them out of my place within 2 days because my own housing security is at risk

[lady-zhval]

Me Upon playing Minecraft with a friend:

I should get a Parrot and name it Laurance.

This way its sassy and Ocassionaly leaves like the real deal.

[mcd-ms-rants]

here’s the second part!! thanks for waiting

STUFF I DIDNT LIKE ABOUT MYTSTREET SEASON 6 PART 2:-

• Irene decides to be a kind and benevolent goddess by conveniently ONLY reviving aaron (in s4) and aphmau (in s6). if she’s so kind why doesn’t she do anything about all the other innocent civilians who died??

• with the whole ‘mcd and mys are related’ theory I’m surprised and upset that laurance wasn’t included since he was a Shadow Knight

• OK WHAT ARE THE FIGHT SCENES. Kim gets slammed to the ground on her back and kicked to the edge and she can walk no problem. Zane gets thrown out a window several storeys down but he doesn’t even get a scratch. hello garroth literally yeeted him down like five floors he doesn’t even have a single wound from the glass. Garroth slashes at Zane and Zane acts like he’s got a paper cut. The cut is deep and near his heart but it’s no big deal because he can somehow still walk and talk normally. he doesn’t even cover it. none of these people have a single broken bone or even a sprain. YA WTF IS THIS EXPLAIN THIS TO ME APHMAU

• idk a single thing Irene said,,, she was super cryptic and because of that half the flashback scenes were just a giant question mark for me

• IM SORRY EIN AND APHMAU ARE HALF SIBLINGS?? *war flashbacks to pdh s2* DID SHE WRITE SCENES OF EIN AND APHMAU GETTING TOGETHER EVEN THO THEY WERE RELATED?? WTF?! THATS INC*ST THATS GROSS AS SHIT PLEASE STOP look this is the calmest I can be when talking about this.

• I’m convinced to this day that she made them siblings simply because she didn’t want einmau to replace aarmau but that’s just a theory a mystreet theory

• I miss Laurance and Dante :(

• FINALLY after like thirteen episodes we get to see the main antag. Surprise surprise it’s the demon warlock. wait didn’t mcd Travis kill this guy like 6000 years ago back in mcd s3?? How is he back

• no seriously how is he even alive

• the fight scene between the demon warlock and Aphmau is so anticlimactic. first they go to the Irene Dimension but when Aphmau gets back it’s only been a few minutes in the real world. What happened to the whole ‘one minute in the Irene Dimension is a year in the Overworld’ rule?? Why does it suddenly not apply. Also even tho it’s supposed to be Aphmau’s fight Aaron takes control like halfway through and finishes the fight from there which doesn’t sit right with me because it wasn’t supposed to be his fight in the first place

• what role do Zane and Lucinda play as relics if they fall under Michael’s control like thirty seconds after the fight starts. why did she need to have three relics in the first place if Aaron was just gonna do the whole thing in the end??

• HOW DOES EMMALYN SUDDENLY KNOW MAGIC?? Last we saw she was a scholar of Irene and not a magics user the two are very different things. also how is she so strong that she can restrain the demon warlock no sweat and we have no explanation for this??

• for a fight that had a buildup twelve episodes long I expected the fight to be longer and harder and more dramatic tbh. it was over in just a few minutes and I was sitting there like what?? Because there’s no way it was that short

• WHY IS AARON FORGIVEN FOR LITERAL MURDER THAT WAS A MASSACRE RIGHT THERE WHYY

TLDR: aphmau don’t get a werewolf bf please

[garrothromeave]

the hell is mystreet season 6??

(warning, long post ahead)

ok so before i start this

1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end

2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember

3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares

4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics 

5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.

haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass

ok here we go 

one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.

anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.

one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.

like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see 

and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused. 

side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk. 

the actual thingy:

ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:

-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck

-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline? 

-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT 

-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest. 

-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me 

-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters 

-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes

-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming

-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee

-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’

-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever

-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I

-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity 

-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)

-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn

-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad

-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point

-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane 

-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all

-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol

-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:

a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.

b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.

c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.

d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained

now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)

but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.

and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more

anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk 

[mill3nniumforc3]

200: My crush’s name is: Russell :) 199: I was born in: April 1994 198: I am really: energetic 197: My cellphone company is: Verizon 196: My eye color is: hazel 195: My shoe size is: 7.5-8.5, depending on the shoe 194: My ring size is: 7.5 193: My height is: 5′5″ 192: I am allergic to: penicillin, cats, pollen, and strong scents 191: My 1st car was: I’ve never owned my own car. 190: My 1st job was: babysitting. First real job was a desk job at my university 189: Last book you read: I don’t remember. I don’t have time to read for leisure. 188: My bed is: comfy 187: My pet: Seamus the miniature schnauzer and Sugar the Aussie-mo 186: My best friend: Ashlyn 185: My favorite shampoo is: Dove 184: Xbox or ps3: neither 183: Piggy banks are: for kids and rainy days 182: In my pockets: nothing 181: On my calendar: going river tubing on Saturday, party next Saturday, trip for T’s birthday weekend, and possibly going to Kennywood and Kings Island sometime in August. 180: Marriage is: something for my future self 179: Spongebob can: do anything 178: My mom: is the bestest 177: The last three songs I bought were?: who buys music anymore? 176: Last YouTube video watched: probably an ASMR video 175: How many cousins do you have?: too many to count 174: Do you have any siblings?: three sisters 173: Are your parents divorced?: no 172: Are you taller than your mom?: yep 171: Do you play an instrument?: piano, drums, bells, and I know three chords of the guitar 170: What did you do yesterday?: sleep [ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: sure 168: Luck: yes 167: Fate: maybe? 166: Yourself: depends on the day 165: Aliens: not really... 164: Heaven: yes 163: Hell: Do I believe in it? Yes, because God is just. Do I believe people are damned there? No, because God is loving. 162: God: yes 161: Horoscopes: no. It’s funny to see “horoscope” posts and see if they apply to me, but it’s a bunch of b.s. A bunch of Aries aren’t going to have the same day/month/year. That’s ridiculous. 160: Soul mates: I’m not sure if I do or don’t, but I do believe in love. 159: Ghosts: no 158: Gay Marriage: of course! 157: War: it’s an unfortunate and unnecessary part of life 156: Orbs: no 155: Magic: yes [ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: both 153: Drunk or High: drunk 152: Phone or Online: online 151: Red heads or Black haired: no comment 150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes 149: Hot or cold: hot 148: Summer or winter: summer 147: Autumn or Spring: spring 146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate 145: Night or Day: night 144: Oranges or Apples: apples 143: Curly or Straight hair: straight 142: McDonalds or Burger King: McD’s (though I’m probably biased because I work there) 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: both 140: Mac or PC: PC 139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 137: Coke or Pepsi: neither 136: Hillary or Obama: Obama 135: Burried or cremated: I want to be cremated and have my ashes buried with a seed and grow into a tree 134: Singing or Dancing: dancing 133: Coach or Chanel: neither 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Kat 131: Small town or Big city: small town 130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben 128: Manicure or Pedicure: mani 127: East Coast or West Coast: east coast 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas. My birthday stopped being special after I turned 19. I get good food every year on Christmas. 125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate 124: Disney or Six Flags: Six Flags 123: Yankees or Red Sox: Indians [ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War: What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. 121: George Bush: he had some good policies. Better than Trump, that’s for damn sure. 120: Gay Marriage: should never be illegal again. 119: The presidential election: #FuckTrump #VoteBlueNoMatterWho #ImpeachTheMF 118: Abortion: all my life, I was told to be pro-life. These days, I don’t know anymore, but I think my beliefs are closer to pro-choice than pro-life. 117: MySpace: it’s not 2008 anymore. 116: Reality TV: glad it’s not my life 115: Parents: they’re doing their best. I’m not looking to be one anytime soon though. 114: Back stabbers: bye! 113: Ebay: Amazon is better. 112: Facebook: these days, I use it to get laughs and memes. I don’t interact with people I know IRL much. 111: Work: good for the money. Not good for my mental health. 110: My Neighbors: they’re ok. 109: Gas Prices: #ThanksTrump 108: Designer Clothes: I can get good clothes at Target. The only “splurge” I do for clothes is at Spencer’s or Kohl’s. 107: College: I plan to go back soon. 106: Sports: entertaining. 105: My family: family is life. 104: The future: anything can happen [ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: Tuesday. 102: Last time you ate: a couple hours ago (chik’n patties and cheese) 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: last week. I saw a manager I hadn’t worked with in like a month. 100: Cried in front of someone: Monday 99: Went to a movie theater: July 2nd 98: Took a vacation: June 97: Swam in a pool: back in February 96: Changed a diaper: I don’t remember 95: Got my nails done: way too long ago 94: Went to a wedding: in April 93: Broke a bone: 2017 (broke my toe) 92: Got a piercing: 2006 91: Broke the law: never. I’m a good person. 90: Texted: three hours ago [ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: Russell 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my dog 87: The last movie I saw: in theatres, Toy Story 4. At home, Adventures in Babysitting. 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: being off on Saturday 85: The thing im not looking forward to: working tomorrow 84: People call me: Vonnie, Vonn, Bonbon, Sophia, and “the girl” 83: The most difficult thing to do is: not cry while watching Grey’s Anatomy 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never 81: My zodiac sign is: Aries 80: The first person i talked to today was: my sister 79: First time you had a crush: kindergarten. His name was Wally, and we were “boyfriend and girlfriend” til about third grade, and we remained friends til we graduated 8th grade. Haven’t talked to him much since. 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Russell 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Sunday 76: Right now I am talking to: nobody because it’s 3:30am 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I hope to be teaching English education 74: I have/will get a job: I currently work at McDonald’s, but within the next 6-12 months, I’ll be moving out of state, so who knows where I’ll work.  73: Tomorrow: work 72: Today: work 71: Next Summer: I’ll be in a whole new state, so that means new amusement parks to visit and rollies to ride. 70: Next Weekend: party. Oh, and next Saturday makes officially 18 months with me and Russell, so go us! 69: I have these pets: two dogs 68: The worst sound in the world: the beeping in the headset when I work back cash. It haunts my nightmares 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Heather because she sends me to back cash all the time 66: People that make you happy: Russell, my mom, my dogs, Ashlyn, and Aunt Dolly because she sends me lives on Candy Crush 65: Last time I cried: Monday 64: My friends are: Ashlyn, Mikayla, Jon, Rilee, Lamar, Tae, Alexus, Clare, Katie, Mario, and Kel 63: My computer is: all mine because I bought it with my own money 62: My School: not in school  61: My Car: don’t have one 60: I lose all respect for people who: lie 59: The movie I cried at was: Avengers: Endgame 58: Your hair color is: natural 57: TV shows you watch: Grey’s Anatomy, Once Upon a Time, House, The Simpsons, Bob’s Burgers, and... I don’t really watch TV because I don’t have cable. 56: Favorite web site: YouTube 55: Your dream vacation: Just a big coaster trip 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: my period this month. I had cramps for days leading up to my period that were so bad that, the day my period actually came, I couldn’t stand straight. 53: How do you like your steak cooked: I don’t eat steak 52: My room is: a mess, like my life 51: My favorite celebrity is: NPH 50: Where would you like to be: with my boyfriend 49: Do you want children: someday, but not today 48: Ever been in love: ohhh yes. 47: Who’s your best friend: not answering again 46: More guy friends or girl friends: i think i have a fair amount of both 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: this is tmi, but sex with my bf. 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Russell 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: no 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: yes 41: Have you pre-named your children: I don’t have any definitive names, but I’m thinking MaryGrace Linda for a girl, and James Sebastian for a boy 40: Last person I got mad at: Anna because she put me on back cash 39: I would like to move to: someplace south 38: I wish I was a professional: dancer.... no, writer.... no, why not both? [ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: peanut butter cups 36: Vehicle: Jeep 35: President: FDR 34: State visited: North Carolina (not just saying that because I lived there for two months) 33: Cellphone provider: Verizon 32: Athlete: Trevor Bauer 31: Actor: Justin Chambers 30: Actress: Amy Poehler 29: Singer: Chester Bennington 28: Band: Linkin Park 27: Clothing store: Kohl’s 26: Grocery store: Marc’s 25: TV show: Grey’s Anatomy 24: Movie: 13 Going on 30 23: Website: Pogo 22: Animal: seal 21: Theme park: Cedar Point 20: Holiday: Christmas 19: Sport to watch: baseball 18: Sport to play: softball 17: Magazine: I only read magazines at the dentist office, and I’ll read whichever has an interesting cover story 16: Book: A Series of Unfortunate Events 15: Day of the week: Saturday, as long as I’m not at work. If I’m working, then Mondays, I guess... 14: Beach: Huntington 13: Concert attended: Winter Jam, because I got to see Skillet play, and I met Matthew West. 12: Thing to cook: desserts 11: Food: eggplant parm 10: Restaurant: Olive Garden 9: Radio station: Star 102 8: Yankee candle scent: vanilla 7: Perfume: I don’t wear perfume 6: Flower: Daisies 5: Color: pink 4: Talk show host: Ellen DeGeneres 3: Comedian: Steve Rannazzisi 2: Dog breed: I really like terriers lol 1: did you answer all these truthfully ?: For me to know and you to find out :)

[ziamfanfiction]

this past week’s ziam ao3 feed

hello! im doing 2 weeks in a row coz school has been crazy and i didn’t have time last week so yeah. remember to leave kudos and comments!

fics posted/updated from September 10th to the 23rd

The Power of Payne by OllyCudmore (wip, rape/non-con warning)

Alpha Liam Payne has just moved to the small town of Autumn Plains with his parents. In a world where most alphas have already claimed an omega by their nineteenth birthday, Payno is on the prowl...

The New Teacher by mmaree (wip)

Being a novice teacher is tough, but being a novice teacher at Payne Academy is even tougher. Fortunately for Zayn, the other teachers on the staff seem friendly enough…at first.

***

Or the one where Zayn’s dream job slowly turns into his worst nightmare. And his worst nightmare may or may not be named Dr. Payne.

i will stand by you - because if it's not ok, it's not the end by ZeeThorn (wip, rape/non-con warning)

One day, Liam walked in on his best friend since forever being beaten senseless and Liam refuses to settle for that.

Or.

The first day of the rest of Zayn's life.

Love Drunk by Mystic_charlie (wip, mcd warning)

Zayn meets up with Liam Payne to sing a collab it turns into something they would have never suspected....

A Royal Tale by StoryAnonGuy33 (wip)

"That doesn't matter Liam, you know I'd never treat you differently because of status. I'd never let something small like that stop us from being together" Zayn explained. "What of your father? The kingdom, an heir..." Liam listed off, that lump in his throat back again.

Or where Liam is a member of Zayn's royal guard, journeying with him to a neighboring kingdom. Though the two soon find themselves dealing with more than mutual affection.

In Reality by Mystic_charlie (wip, mcd warning)

after a fatal incident in Zayn's life he finds himself in a terrible foster home with bad depression, he goes to highschool with his best friend Harry and his sassy boyfriend Louis.

Everyday Zayn gets picked on by the same kid everyday, a lot of the time he doesn't know why but his sisters use to say that guys pick on you when the like you, Zayn didn't believe that though, he hated Liam as much as Liam hated him and he hoped it was Hate

Tumblr Drabbles by Gummiebear (wip)

A collection of all the drabbles and prompts I have written on Tumblr

Twelve Fic Outtakes/Deleted Scenes by watyonameisgurl (wip)

Pretty much exactly what the title says and what I've hinted at in numerous end notes of the main fic for like forever - a collection of outtakes/deleted scenes (and possibly even some eventual alternate scenarios if I feel up to exploring that) from the Twelve fic verse

[DO NOT READ if you haven't finished the first fic in the verse yet]

Two Point 0 by watyonameisgurl

“Because healing is messy and ugly and slow and doesn’t just happen in a progressive line. Sometimes...sometimes it’s gonna feel like you’re going backwards or sideways or every direction but forward, and you might not ever feel the same as you were, you might always be different from the person you used to be, but sometimes that’s okay...”

Zayn looks out at the sea of faces staring back at him, fights down the anxiety still threatening to overwhelm him even though he’s almost through now. He’d known this wouldn’t be easy, but there’s so many of them, looking to him. And seeing all of them here, now, in front him—even if it still isn’t all of them—is a bit overwhelming. As he looks around though he catches sight of Liam in the sea of faces, smiling proudly, and that’s all it takes. He can already feel himself relaxing, powering through the last of what he wants and needs to say. Counting down the moments until he’s back by Liam’s side again, safe and sound and that’s what gets him through.

[Or: Zayn keeps healing, Liam does too. But it’s not easy when there are so many forces still so determined not to let them. And fighting them alone is one thing. But the problem is it’s not just Zayn's fight anymore.]

The Threequel by watyonameisgurl (wip)

[AKA 3.0 AKA The Extended Epilogue AKA The Adventures of the Rogue Supersoldiers]

Zayn’s still got unfinished business to take care of and he fully intends on crossing all his T’s and dotting all his I’s. T’s and I’s by which he means leveling some threats and doling out a few black eyes while tracking down the remaining bastards that managed to get away or get off scot-free. Though that won’t be for long if he can help it. Because he’s out for justice and unlike the courts he won’t be letting anyone off quite so easily. And this time he’s not alone either.

Nice Piece Of Art by LZSHIP (wip, mcd warning)

Liam’s depression and decision to end his life lands him in the psychiatric unit of a Brooklyn hospital where he meets Zayn, whom he might have already met before.

Shawcross Park by Niler (wip)

Liam isn't a singer, a dancer or even a builder.

Zayn is one of the above.

Piece By Piece by LonelyAquarian (wip)

After 18 years of marriage to lawyer Harry Styles, Liam is shocked when Harry announces he's ending their marriage and shacking up with Louis Tomlinson. Liam retreats to the house of his best friend Niall, who helps him destroy much of Harry's property, earning him house arrest. While Harry prepares for the trial of a corrupt client, Liam is courted by Zayn Malik, an affectionate moving man who restores Liam’s faith in life and in love, piece by piece.

You Make Me Strong by Anonymous

Liam stepped closer towards Zayn and stared longingly into his eyes.

‘Let me show you what I thought of those letters, Zayn.’

He dropped to his knees and ran his index finger slowly but firmly up the inseam of Zayn’s tight jeans. When he looked back up, his pupils were dark and wide.

‘Let me show you how much I missed you. Let me welcome you home properly.’

~~~

How do you tell someone that you love them?

Zayn does so in letters to his boyfriend Liam whilst he is away on a three-month artists’ retreat in Argentina.

Then he returns home…