#im not mentally ill for fun or because it sounds cool or because i want pity or i want to seem Hip With It or whatever. im not 'collecting'

[bluntforcespatter]

i see people interacting with my mutuals and become irrationally pissed. like.

that's my mutual. do they like you more than they like me? they reblogged that from you and not me. you must be friends with them and i'm nothing. i'm nobody. i hate you.

and it's just random people i don't know. i need to chill.

[nerves-nebula]

ouhghhh rant about somethin that's annoying me that then kinda spirals at the end

my roommate will describe things about her friends and i'm like how do you stand these people. apparently they "have fun" and have "mutual interests" but that's not good enough for me.

"he doesn't believe subconscious bias exists so he thinks he's always being objective" insufferable

"he can't conceive of a situation where his feelings are hurt and no one is to blame. someone always has to be in the wrong" insufferable

"he seems to come from a culture where just deciding to hate things is celebrated so his opinions don't sound like his own they sound like he's performing for a larger culture war or something" insufferable

it's like. damn that's wild. hey are any of your friends cool and genuine or are you fighting an uphill battle to fix all of them. there's only one i like so far.

i know my standards for friendship are way too high which is why i'm lonely, and i also know I'm completely incapable of being friends with a lot of mentally ill people because if you're a bitch to me I'm dropping you unless you apologize like, within the week, and even then It's gonna take a long time for me to trust you again- if ever.

like i believe these people deserve friends and relationships but i wish i was nowhere near them because i hate hearing about all the awful shit they put my roommate through.

and it's like. in some ways this is bad for me. i know im being inflexible, and i know it fosters a fear in me that i am just as disposable to others as they can be to me, but i also don't ever want to be stuck in a situation where i'm on the receiving end of someone's cruel rant caused by a breakdown.

i know loving means opening yourself up and being vulnerable but there's a certain kind of pointless cruelty that I'm not willing to put up with.

i would do anything for my close friends, and i hope that makes up for the fact that most people (some of which might be fine) won't ever make it to that level of closeness.

[vaporsystem]

hey im still here lol what if we name ourself Eula lol

or maybe just Yulia if we wanna be normal

We wanna have a like "la" sound but all the normal names with that are boring so lol Some of us have normal names but its fun to pick something weird, i dont wanna be a like "laura" or something.

also one of us drew us but like good actually so here lol im still not sure which one of us is the one thats so good at drawing, like i guess probably a lot of us but i get too bored which is why i did the doodle last time lol

anyway we've all been like trying to work on our stuff more again so like we've been having a lot of conversations and trying to spend time with each other and stuff and its kinda weird sometimes because its like ill be talking to someone but then im also them talking to me so its a little weird but it really feels like a lot of stuff is like way less blurry which is cool!!!

Its been really easy to feel myself come and go and i think some other people too and also i told some other people to interrupt """"the main one""""" whenever they post here so hopefully they'll do that cause like its SO easy when we're here for some reason even if we know a bunch of people could see it. the other one was talking about like making a website and we wanna probably like give us all blog spaces so we can all have our own spots but like idk how public itll be cause its weird lol but i think we need it cause like its so fun to be alive idk how else to explain it :p

tbh the main one might not even be like a person that might just be our like autopilot dont even think about whos fronting mode cause like ever since helix popped the cap its been like yo we just gotta like take a minute to think about it more than not at all, yknow?

but either way like ive been mooooostly fronting these past few days and its cool because like its pretty easy to be happy and like we'll go to sleep and when we wake up ill still be here and its like waoua what is this but it makes me feel so like solid (not like that)(unless)

also idk if other people can do this but like we did play around with like what shape we wanna be like in the brain place like we did be like "what if we were pony" and it was fun but like so limiting lmao i wanna have arms and hands i think so we'll be like gremlin for now lol

parts of us were saying we seem femboy coded but like idkkkk idk im not feeling the like any/all vibes that people are saying we give off but also she/her feels so basic... maybe we could be the one to use neopronouns...... A lot of us dont like it but i guess they/them for now???

anyway we'll shut up now but like we wanted to confirm we werent like a one off mental breakdown kinda thing!!!!!!!

okay but one edit i do get like really dizzy whenever i talk so idk what thats about lmaoo

[steviecrowdude]

Im starting to get followers now! Yaay!

Edit: im just gonna put a read more cuz this is a lot and i hate scrolling through it to see my blog. This is about me :) im not editing the full thing but i might at some point.

I reblog whatever i see that i wanna reblog. I may forget to tag things, but i try to if i have enough energy and it really needs tagging. This includes memes and funny stuff, but also just stuff i find important.

I am a trans man. Binary trans man (edit: to yall at least, behind the curtain I'm fuckin around with gender). No connection to womanhood other than the fact i dont publicly pass. He/him. If theres anyone out there who decides to come here and try and tell me im a sad woman or something, no. You dont know me, i know myself. Welcome to my blog.

I dont do that trans gatekeeping stuff. You fuck with gender? Ya trans (if you want. We also love gnc people here. Also you dont need to id as trans.) Neopronouns and xenogenders are amazing, and contradictory labels are cool as shit. I feel sad i need to clarify that but i do want to.

Im also Aroace and sex repulsed, dont know about the romance repulsed part, but it sounds right. What those things mean to me are private to me.

If you dont have sex, me too dude hell yeah. If you do? Hell yeah dude have fun. I want people to be happy and safe (whatever that means to you) and if youre consenting to it, then i cant think of anything better. (All that to say, dont fuckin, use sex repulsed people to be antikink or something, like c'mon)

Oh, im also autistic, and i have a medley of other mental stuff and neurodivergencies that i have yet to be diagnosed with.

Edit: im also definitely chronically ill in some way so i reblog about physically disabled stuff too

Edit again: i have fibromyalgia so you'll see me reblogging about that

Im gonna reblog things that have to do with that stuff.

I also reblog things i think are important, such as bipoc rights and safety, disabled rights, intersex rights and queer rights in general, safety for everyone, religious freedom and human rights. (Im white, dyadic, and nonreligious, so do tell me if i reblog something thats iffy. Ill be happy to delete it.)

Edit as of January 9th 2024: i feel like i should clarify just because of the rise in antisemitism in the us especially; i dont tolerate that type of stuff. If your support of palestine and people in gaza comes at the cost of your support for jewish people you can leave cuz i dont wanna interact with you. I will advocate for the people in gaza being killed and attempt to uplift their voices, but i will not tolerate antisemitism in the same breath.

Like i mentioned before, if i reblog something and someone following me feels like its fucked up, ill delete it.

I mostly reblog memes and things i find funny.

A lot.

I dont tend to interact with fandom spaces much. But i do enjoy the funny from fandoms, and i reblog fandom content.

Thank you for reading :)

[itsdappleagain]

GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS??

THATS RIGHT IT'S TIME FOR THE STICKY RICE CAPER!!!

Alright, I'ma be honest here- there are a few episodes in CS which I just NEVER rewatch, and this one is kind of one of them. I don't know why. The start of Season 1 just never really invites me to click on it...BUT I DON'T KNOW WHY!

Every time I DO watch them I really like them!! So weird little mental block. ANYWAYS you know the drill by know let's get crack-a-lacking (or crackle lacking...his memories lmaooo)

WOO HOO our first caper episode!!! I love the caper formats- such a staple of the series (at the same time I wish we'd have gotten some deviation sometimes for...character based episodes or something but oh well).

OKAY HEY HI HAVE I GUSHED ABOUT THE INTRO ENOUGH YET BECAUSE I WILL NEVER EVER SKIP IT. ITS SO GOOD. THE BLACK AND WHITE WITH ONLY THE RED THE COOL BADASS MOMENTS THE AMAZING ANIMATION THE SCENE DESIGN HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

see the intro sets up a sort of mystery and finesse about carmen's character i wish we actually got more!! like she seems so mysterious but they infodump everything about her onto us in the first two episodes immediately. i promise ill stop complaining about the infodumping thing now though

okay also but the moment in the episode when it match cuts to carmen walking from the tower to the crosswalk its sooo fucking gooood

Carmen Sandiego Fun Fact: That guy who's Agent Zari's partner in Season 1 and shows up sometimes is actually not one guy but three identical ones who keep switching out

OH also the shift into color as she looks up godddd its so good i will talk about the intro more than the fucking episode

also the!! she does the thing from s2 e1 in the intro!!! in rio!!

the tone of voice she uses when she says "looky-loos" i didnt know that word could be kind of hot

i like how offended she sounds "I DID" djfdhasfdg shes like player of course i fucking did what do you think i am an amateur

calling vile sleazy is so funny as a kid (13 yo) watching for the first time i thought sleazy was kind of a bad word (its not) and it caught me so off guard

zack's first line....its so zack

ALSO i love the intro cards so much i didnt mention it last week (two weeks ago?) but theyre so fun

carmen: hey we've got a tail

zack: im going to shake my ass all night oh yeah

i love how little carmen is doing about the acme agents shes just like zack can we not :/ we KNOW she can do shit on boats, seeing as she clotheslined devineaux in s3 or whatever she did. threw a tree at him. what the fuck did she do to devineaux i dont remember

zack: HOW TO DRIVE A BOAT SAFELY (continues talking whilst not looking where he's going)

the background couple that gets doused with water twice as the boats go by and then are never acknowledged again are so funny why didnt they have more funny background moments like that jadshfgahdsgah

imagine if acme had actual projectile weapons like idk tranq darts carmen would be so arrested immediately

ivy did it first (talking about the suez canal)

love how ivy didnt need to have that beard on at all. really didnt honestly. she should have dressed in drag more actually i think

can you imagine the thoughts going through zari and jawline's heads when the frenchman turned into a 20 year old bostonian

THE BEARD WAS ONLY FOR THE CLOSE SHAVE JOKE.

how the hell did they scale the side of that boat

i like ivy's dumb orange cat energy in jumping 30 feet off of a barge without looking

i do agree with whoever else said they wished she'd gotten a better intro though. i don't think they quite knew what they wanted to do with ivy, and by the time they were like "hey maybe her thing with red drone is because she like builds stuff or whatever" they kind of. only got to relay that by having baby ivy go "hey we should give that lady a gun" in the boston tea party caper

the combination of three languages <3 never change ivy

"while i picked up carmen at the train station" okay so the river they're driving on is the river seine, right? its right by the eiffel tower as we see. fun fact: the nearest train station? 4 minutes away or less! cool detail

ivy definitely had time to get him food just saying . also still confused about why carmen took a train to paris but ive already hounded that detail last week so whatever

carmen completely blank faced saying "yum baguettes" to tease zack is so funny you didnt have to do that

i relish the intrigue and enthusiasm in carmen's voice when she goes "SO off to indonesia" we don't even see her face but she sounds so excited to go there agh

infodumping sections beloved. ive actually learned so much from them. we were talking about coffee and how it can be called java and i was like "OIHOOHOGFOGIHOOGOOGOG JAVA IS AN ISLAND IN INDONESIA HOME TO "THE BIG DURIAN" OR THE CAPITAL WHICH IS JAKARTA"

player: i have cool facts!! this is so cool!

carmen: i stopped paying attention five minutes ago actually sorry about that my thing now

so interesting btw that all records of acme agents are taken off of anything?? why dont they have identities anymore??

how?? did the cleaners manage to get crackle out if he "only woke up moments ago" which implies that someone like. watched him do that. moments ago. the cleaners just sliced a hole in the wall again like they do in s4 jkhfkhsadf

i like how devineaux thinks carmen would go after the gigantic blue diamond but also steal some more aussie shmuck's wallet AND his train ticket for good measure

the mints were suck a weird little thing to have devineaux have and i love that he had them?? idk if it was for the sole purpose of julia following them to the ACME Closet TM but theyre a cool little character thing that i kinda forgot about (bc the writers did too after the very start of the next season lol)

is crackle implying that he has crawled through sewer tunnels? is he referencing the shawshank redemption? is he referencing black sheep crawling through the drain pipes?

bellum is so funny "I AM LASER FOCUSED" (swimpes through fifteen unrelated tabs that are actively open) adhd icon

hey by the way why did she have missile launch sights and bomb tests and gun blueprints open. because. why didnt that ever go anywhere. i know she's orchestrated some of the most strange but also deadly capers in the show but. i. okay

"the student formerly known as black sheep"

PLS BELLUM IS SO SHORT

part of me wonders if shadow-san intentionally breaks up the height slant to make him feel out of place. if they wanted everything to look cohesive he would be sitting...maybe after malestrom. but he isnt, hes on the end and his height, in the lineup, is jarring compared to the slope of everyone else's.

mael also has some pretty good nicknames for her

love that one of their finest operatives is a year-in-the-field catgirl

the little silent laugh carmen does when zack starts reminiscing about how they met awww

r&d they make it sound so sinister. it means research and development

hello trailer scene. i love how carmen runs off screen for the trailer shot and then slows down to walk with them immediately because she actually has to be in the scene

the animation when she said "plan a" was so snappy

#feminism red drone is a she

(a bunch of lights flashing and making pew pew noises)

zack: STATE OF THE ART???!?!?!!

just kidding zack love ya

that tracking shot of red drone going through the lasers?? mwah

red drone out here with a strontium nitrate fire damn

what was their plan if someone was at the lab

that light moving behind them as they walk forward into the labbbbb

SEE theres the transition sentence for next ep!

what braincell of zack's saw a pile of white rice in a petri dish, first thought "that must be someone else's food" and then thought " i should eat this stranger's petri dish food"

also i am in love with how he just was about the bite down on the whole dish at once

the teeny tiny twitch of carmens teeny tiny nose as she sniffs the petri dish dahdjhdsdsg

cleo's capers: im going to steal four dresses >:)

bellum's capers: i will cause a famine for the entire population of the fourth largest country in the world and force them to either starve or submit to me via creating a monopoly of overpriced rice which is shit quality but their only choice, and will do so by releasing an untested superspore which hypothetically could mutate and wipe out all life on these islands if all goes wrong. teehee cat videos

zack and ivy's dialogue sounds like. you know when a teacher presents a problem and then in a really dumb vice they suggest an obviously bad solution? that

"we're thieves" ivy tomorrow you're going to tell a goat that your boss's name is carmen san jose and then almost die five times in the next week

ivy's so supportive. no braincells on planning but such a cheerleader /hj

here we see the majestic long-necked ivysaur stretching her neck for a leaf

pls zack looks so hungry and sad

"so vile can make a quick buck hehaha she has a surprise coming 😌"

she looks so hot when she jumps on the roof of the jeep and then jumps off a cliff. well right before anyway lmaoo

loook

ok just thought the glider mechanic was cool. anyway

VILE HENCHMAN WATCH THE FUCKING ROAD

"HYASSSSSS" tigress never change

i love that they kept the consistency in the boston bean caper that tigress wasnt there- just the gays

tigress free plastic surgery!! good surgery? no. but free

i love when cs does high motion shots and the background just becomes one streaky color

zack driving down the cliff so true actually

ivy saw carmen climb on the hood and jump off a cliff and did the same thing. ivy dont do that

i also love the consistency of ivy being able to pick locks. she's been able to since the boston molasses disaster caper

carmen almost falls off of very quickly moving vehicles quite a lot

yes i would thats why im asking pls this show

carmen isnt really so much protecting the face as dodging very quickly and hoping

the animation of the car swerving as the durian hits it 👌

i like how immediately ivy goes flying and ZACK COULDNT SEE THE WHOLE TIME??? HOW DID HE NAVIGATE THAT TURN

that weird "eYAHOO" ivy makes is playing my my head 24/7

vile ops constantly have carmen in situations where they could do anything and they just let her do whatever. tigress. you had her hands bound and she was under your control why did you kick her in the back

also i love how carmen is getting batted around all day but tigress kicks her once and she can't get up

ivy and jumping 30 feet into vehicles

ivy's voice when she shrieks about the durian is so cute

ok its 4:30am im sorry im gay

why are there so many roads that go to the same place

"sky rockets" what other kind are there

carmen u literally have a glider you could have NOT shot the tire and caused zack and ivy to almost crash and die

love how zack hits her with the car

me too honestly zack and ivy

HELP?

i like how the car is at normal speed but carmen is in slow motion at the same time

PLS THE TIRE TRACKS ON THE GROUND WHERE ZACK SWERVED

this episode doesnt even get to what specifically vile is doing for the caper until 16 minutes in and its still good i love it

zack and ivy changing the tire just like their racing days </33

what time of year is it that player was contemplating both new years eve and 4th of july

chase is like a bad parent like julia says something and then chase calls it her fault ihgahsgajds

the glare julia shoots chase jshdgsh

i love when she's sarcastic

the way she stares right at the camera when she says "details are lurking just out of view somewhere in the shadows"

OHHH THE MUSIC FOR THIS EP IS REALLY GOOD

why do they keep putting ivy high up. poor ivy

"tigress, you know the rules. but i will say them again for the audience's benefit"

fedora the explora!!!

that kick had to hurt so bad

just imagining carmen on her new phone on like. facebook tapping "unfriend"

the way carmen just takes tigress out wheeze

cat lesbian <3

this fight is honestly so good

POOR IVY

THIS FIGHT IS. SO. GOOD. I LOVE HOW THEATRICAL IT IS

the confused looks as they keep playing music kills mee

the curtsey and the way carmen just keeps lying there for a little while for the dramatics is hilarious

tiny layering issue

and here (and once more too lazy to ss it tho)

love how she lit that match with her finger

also love hot the fuse just gets eaten. no burnt rope only FIRE

i wonder where?? like under lock and key...where?? po box?? lol

poor zack hasnt eaten in a day

oNe jUmPy RoO

the please from mael...ugh

mr. crackle

the poor sad puppy noises gray makes in the chair jdgsahdgds

that mindwiper really honestly sounds like shes gonna just kill him. yeah crackle it wont hurt. we're gonna send u to live on a farm

CHIEF ON THE OTHER END GOING "again" THATS SO FUNNY

PLAN B

Okay sweet!! Solid episode. See ya next Saturday wink wink its not 5am on sunday i promise i didnt stay up for 5 hours doing this

[pyrriax]

utopia hiii :] waving at u . i am on a car ride to a cabin and it’s very snowy and i’m excited to have like a week to just write and brainstorm ! my writers block seems to have disappeared over night so i’m very excited. how r u doing cat peek emoji

WAVES hai jazzy!! that sounds super cool whoaaaa it's just been a torrent of rain out here but that's been fun!!

hit a week of working on my daily notes so thats pretty epic if you ask me, and im doing rlly good aside from some issues relating to the curse of mental illness and chronic pain!! i have been quite productive!!! finally got my assignment for a horror gift exchange which i am HYPED for <- avid enjoyer of horror and looking forward to using this as an excuse to really delve into some concepts that i've been stewing on for a while

lots of fic ideas and things ive been slowly elaborating on!! i've really kind of just sat down and decided to pour my effort into a handful of things beyond my gift fic(s), that being the other two pieces for asomatous [metamorphosis - the prequel, and paracosm - the continuation], and some stuff in the seraphim au! i've been in suchhhh a fantasy kick lately its been fun! i mean, fantasy and gore, but usually not mixing tooo much aside from some immortality elements in one thing

SUPER glad to hear ur writers block has disappeared!! i'm looking forward to seeing what you create! i might start depositing snippets and stuff in your inbox again possibly :3c i've been super secretive with my actual writing besides my footnote posting but i may start dropping pieces in ur inbox! i've been super proud of what i do end up writing down, as haphazard as a lot of it is ^_^

ALTHOUGH in terms of projects i think that oneirataxia is probably going to be the next fic on the list for getting written since its been kind of just staring at me recently........ something something how to decay gracefully

(oneirataxia: the inability to differentiate between dreams and reality.)

i've gotta finish adding stuff to my current writing vault and deciding how i want to link things together (since i'm planning to have an organization note just going over statistics for the month) and also just generally finishing transferring stuff into this vault, since i lot of things are still in my old one which just. wasn't very well organized since i didn't ever plan to use it as much as i did because of the whole. mcc event.

[littlegayassbitch]

thinking about the bitb soundtrack

that shit is absolutely amazing, I'm gonna rant for so long about this shit, here's literally every song from it described in great hyper-fixated detail, it gets pretty sad at the end, also spoilers for blood in the bayou!

If you want to listen along with my deranged ramblings about this soundtrack, here is a link.

BEWARE!!! I AM MENTALLY ILL!!! READ ON IF YOU DARE!!

The heartbeat motif for most, if not all of the songs is absolutely gorgeous, I adore it so much, the notes hit your brain in all the right places to make you feel uneasy, and the SoundFont?????? that shit is very much Blood in the motherfuckin Bayou!

The intro and outro are absolute masterpieces and I will listen to them for hours on end like I hear that shit and. AUGHAUAGAHUGA I go rabid

horrors in the bayou??? thats 19 minutes of pure absolute cool!!!! how do you make it like that!??!? It's awesome, it's noises, it's cool, it's slimy, it's slippery! it's just awesome I love it.

wandering around galloway is such an awesome one too, it just... AUGH they really are, they do that, its so surreal!! and the way the notes kinda jumpscare you if you aren't paying attention is so fun

dropping like ravens, bro, I swear to god, I can hear a plop noise in the background, that shit is so fucking cool, it fits so well, it sounds like the noises they would make as they fell, the drum sounds like things hitting metal, and the goddamn music kicking in halfway through is so fUCKING COOL MAN

sludgified... what do I even say???? the buildup is so worth it for this song!!! it's so fitting, and you can tell when each scene is, it's awesome and cool and awesome (but Rat did not deserve this fate, mans was too silly to go that soon...)

touching the forcefield is where the heartbeat motif really comes into play, you can hear that shit all the way through, and I am loving every second of it, I am going absolutely apeshit over this soundtrack, its so undeniably perfect dude

there are people in the swamp. YES, THERE ARE!!! YOU CAN HEAR THE PHASES OF REALIZATION THAT THERE ARE IN FACT FUCKIN PEOPLE IN THERE AND THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE. IT'S SO STRESSFUL IN A GOOD WAY

OUTRO, IM TALKING ABOUT THIS ONE AGAIN, I LOVE IT SO MUCH, 18892954358324/10 ITS SO PERFECT I ADORE IT SO MUCH THE BEAT AND SOUNDS MAKE MY BRAIN COGS STOP RUSTING

intrusive thought, wooooAAAAAoooo. << it's doing that, it's so ADHD-friendly, I could literally listen to this forever. then it hits you with the METAL SOUNDIN SHIT AND ITS 100000000 TIMES MORE AWESOME

the melted man, it gets its point across so insanely well, the little tink! noises it has like water droplets are so pretty, but like, unsettling, then the beeps of a heart monitor start-up and I justafhjkdshjf AND THEN THE ENDING BIT???? MY HEART RATE GOES UP SO MUCH, STRESS LEVEL IS THROUGH THE ROOF, I LOVE IT

returning to the forcefield is awesome because the heartbeat motif!!!!!!!!!!!!! is back and louder than fuckin EVER. It's so eerie and indescribable, but you have all the words to use, it's so fun.

the funeral, melancholy, Rolans parents (?) are fucking DEAD, It's solemn, it's sad, its a funeral, the piano gets this point across perfectly, and it's so different from most of the other songs that you can tell this scene is a different tone entirely.

secrets of the will, so mysterious, and alluring... what's going on with the will?? What's the answer??? where should Rolan go? what should he do???

now here are some more of my favourites, in a big batch o three

followed, its so... it's such a 'leading up to big important thing' song and its so necessary for this it needs to be eerie and 'uh oh' esque and just AAARGGGHHHHHH

approached. WOOOAH its speeding up!! its getting faster!! we're about to see some action!! Woo! yeah! get approached by your cousin! get stressed! go do that shit!

Hunted. HOLY FUCKING SHIT IS THIS SONG AWESOME, all the buildup, and this does not disappoint! like, it induces so much anxiety in me that I listen to it if I'm tired to wake myself up, its such a good running song, and its such an awesome thing to listen to while writing horror, infinity/10 I love hunted. so so so so so so so so much

THE POST METAMORPHOSIS INTRO!! OH MY GOD!!!! OH MY GOD!!! YOU CAN HEAR THE OG INTRO UNDER IT, ITS SO FUNKY!! SO SILLY!!! THIS SHIT IS AMAZING I LOVE IT SO MUCH

coming home. YeahhhhhHH!HH!H!HHhhHHHH its so much less energetic than the song before it, you can hear how upsetting this scene will be, the piano sounds hopeful, and resigned at the same time. beautiful.

limited time. there is a very great sense of urgency in this one, with the ticking clock in the background, and the strings being played in the back, I'm writing this part as fast as I can because I feel like I'm on a time limit bro it works SO GODDAMN WELL.

the abyss stares back. Water... noises in my ea r s... the droning noises.... the everything..... it makes me feel so trapped, so claustrophobic, my skin has goosebumps listening to it....

cocooned. THERE IS SO MUCH FEAR IN HERE, I CAN BARELY HEAR MY OWN FEAR. THIS SHIT MAKES MY NECK TWITCH /POS I LOVE THE PLUCKING STRING SOUNDS, AND THE WAY ITS SO UNORGANIZED AND YET SO STRUCTURED.... PERFECTION

forgotten promise, this is such a normal song, for the first 10 seconds, then it gets into this odd sort of off-beat-ish faster melody, and I'm here for it, it gets more and more unsettling, you don't know the difference until it's too late. (rip Kian Stone)

a melody better left unknown, more like... a melody everyone needs to hear right now... it's amazingly unsettling, the perfect thing for this scene, it embodies the spirit of what this scene means for the rest of the campaign.

entomophobia. GOD, HOLY SHIT, THIS IS SUCH AN UPBEAT ONE COMPARED TO THE REST. reminds me of the can-can at times, but in like a great way, sounds reminiscent of clown music in the beginning. AND WHEN IT GETS TO THE MIDDLE, WHOO BOY I AM HAVING A FIELD DAY WITH THIS. amazing song, love it, love everything abt it.

heartbeat in the swamp is like the forcefield, but much more... foreboding. You can tell this is a very important point, the droning sounds are much more common in here, and there's more than one at a time. heartbeat motif my absolute beloved... <3

metamorphosis. this song... THIS SONG IS RIGHT HERE. it is spot on for this reveal, the whole thing is so nice to listen to, the clicking-Esque noises, the bug-like rhythm for those clicks, beautiful, and when you get halfway in.... it gets so much more dramatic, and it is deserved for this!!!! it is so dramatic and it fits!!!!!!! love it for this, you go, metamorphosis!!!!

bitb post metamorphosis outro... I am... barely containing myself right now, this song..... AUGH..... listening isn't enough anymore I need to kiss the song. (sorry everyone I may have gotten a bit too much there, I do feel that way, it's a very kissable song.)

The Face in the Bog. oooooohhhhhg its so adgfhjdsghjfhgd the low notes are so ominous.......... love it,..,.. so much.,,,,,, dying currently.,,,

Something Bugging You. YOU ARE RIGHT, ITS THE FACT THAT I AM UNABLE TO DESCRIBE THIS SONG THAT I SO DESPERATELY WANT TO, IT'S SO. PRETTY, LIKE WIND CHIMES, BUT TOO ORGANIZED TO BE THEM, IMAGINE IF SOMEONE WAS MOVING YOUR WIND CHIMES PRETENDING TO BE THE WIND. IT'S LIKE THAT.

Race to the Heart of the Hive. OH MY LORD, THIS IS LIKE, MARIO KART BUT IF EVERY COM PLAYER WAS A GODDAMN BUG AND IF YOU DON'T WIN YOU GET TURNED INTO GOO, AND THE WORLD ENDS, BECAUSE IT IS THE ELECTRONIC BITS??? MARVELOUS, STUNNING, EFFERVESCENT, LOVELY. I AM SO READY TO RUN A MILE RIGHT NOW

Run Away. Now, there is no reason for this to have gone this hard, the start is slow, and its like 'Oh okay, slower song.' and then a bit later. NOPE, ELECTRIC GUITAR BOSS FIGHT MUSIC, the other fight-ish songs were 'fight a bug monster' but this one... this one is a 'Holy shit, your friend is a bug monster, and he's attacking you, and you can't save him, you have to fight against the face of a friend, one who you've just met up with again, one you've just gotten back. You need to kill him.' kinda deal. very much up there in the top 5.

A Moment of Respite. calm before the storm, come chill for 2 minutes and 12 seconds, you need it, you get this time to relax, but be ready to jump right back in.

You will be Replaced. Words can't describe how I feel (jk, they can, and ill spend a while talking about this.) it's like every stressful song in one, it's like entomophobia, but more is at risk, everything is at risk, you need to hurry, you need to finish this. I 100% love this one.

The Queen. It's so... calm at first, like she's a good thing, she's helping, she's nice, even! Let yourself become one with her, she'll take care of the hard parts! but then, halfway mark, she's let down her facade, face the queen, or die. Knowing the odds, you will be struggling to not meet the second fate. she knows you know how unlikely you are to win, and laughs in your face as you fumble with weapons that have no effect, as you hallucinate things in her presence, as you try to bargain with the false face of a long-dead loved one. It's such a regal-sounding piece, and rightfully so, this is the QUEEN.

nwonK syawlA ev'I ydoleM A. The reverse of a melody better left unknown, but somehow the one that fills me with more dread than its predecessor. Reverse audio has always made me uncomfortable, and mix it with the BITB vibe and you have a recipe for paranoia and fear. in a good way!

Rolan's Ultimatum. A reprise of limited time, you can hear the decisions that are having to be made, it's a hard one, sacrifice yourself, and be an unsung hero, or leave, and live a peaceful life, knowing that you have left behind your two best friends, now one, to die. He needs to think fast, or else it will be too late, and he'll have lost both his friends, and his humanity.

You've Changed. Ugh!! such a bittersweet ending!!! We know that Rand is probably bleeding out in the bayou, hallucinating about going home with his now-alive totally human sister. The song is too distorted to offer anything other than death. The end had the same plucking of guitar strings as the bug songs, so he is not alright. I am so sad that they all had to die, they all had lives ahead of them, great ones. Except for Rand... he died a nobody, and he will not be remembered for anything other than his corpse, and maybe a passport. Nothing more, nothing less. He was nobody. And will never be somebody.

BONUS!!

Smoke with the Devil. this song, which played at the end of ep 4, is so great, it's such a sadness-ridden song, Grizzly did so well with this part! His singing is so nice, and if someone shared this song with me and didn't tell me it was from a Call of Cthulu campaign and is sung by a character who tried to seduce his friend's mom and dad and then promptly exploded I would not notice.

and that ends my completely deranged review of the BITB soundtrack, you can find it on Spotify now! You can go on the Patreon and download it from there! If you want to hear more about blood in the bayou from me, ask me, please please please please please I am insane about these 33-year-olds from the '80s I want to talk about them so badly.

I love Blood in the Bayou so fucking much.

[inzombniia]

tw // emetophobia(?)

vent post lol

i was going to post this last night but i got um. sidetracked. (ó﹏ò｡) by some rlly funny shit like istg it almost cured my summertime sadness i even cleaned my depression room 2day hhaha, last night i just made it my pfp and threw this into the drafts

im bouta go on a small rant so ill just tuck it away here ↓

i literally hate summer, im sorry i just cannot. maybe its the fact that i have no job and no car so i cant go anywhere. other than begging someone to take me shopping, im stuck. just me and the internet lolz and occasionally my friends but i havent responded to most of them which is kinda my fault (ꀬ⏖ꀬ∴) i shld probably do that...

im so much happier and mentally stable in sweater weather... maybe cus im a december baby LMAO

i think the amount of time i spend on my phone and computer are starting to catch up with me, apparently theres a thing called "cybersickness" and dude the name alone sounds cool asf ‼️ but yeah i also have vertigo and a lil sleep deprivation on top of that so. i just constantly have the urge to vomit but physically cant no matter how hard i try so i just drew myself doing the things i cant do <//3 and yes thats me lolz

however !!! i think i might actually start working at chuck e cheese... no one in my area says anything bad abt working there so i have high hopes that i could enjoy it, might have to visit it this weekend before i apply just to see if its any different from last year when i went

૮꒰ྀི˶˃̵ ^ ˂̵˵꒱ྀིა

tw // sh implied i guess

edit never fucking mind its not okay nothing is okay i wanna rip my guts out why me why what do i even do anymore it doesnt make any sense why do you have to make everything so hard for me.

"oh i feel so alone" good. i hope it stays that way u selfish prick

how does it feel to rip away my goals. i had this all planned out and its perfect for what i plan to do in life

its like you do this on purpose. you want 2 see me suffer. u want 2 see me fail. over and over and over. is this fun for you?

i relapsed because of you. i hope ur fucking proud of me

[goremet-chef]

random little (very long) vent thing lamaoo

my birthday is soon and im like. IDK ive just been incredibly fucked up recently with like. anti trans legislation and general negativity, so ive been trying to keep away from twitter since thats where i see most of it

last year, my mother had me come get my cake with her and to my surprise it said "happy birthday dominic" and i couldve cried, like i was wearing my face mask cuz it helps my dysphoria but holy shit i was smiling so hard

she said dominic when she sang my bday song with my siblings and it made me really happy

she hasnt called me dominic since, and whatever im like. im not really over it but i will say and act like i am because it prevents me from dwelling on unnecessary pain yknow?

i guess recently she's had a change of heart, cuz she told my sibling that she wants to start calling me by dom and that she doesnt want me to hide who i am from her, and i know what she means definitely

ive been very like.. closed off? especially since her bf came back (he fucking sucks i hate him) i just havent spent time with her or anything unless hes gone cuz i definitely dont feel comfortable being myself around him

anyways this is pretty cool all things considered. i have told her before that i knew she wasnt gonna be part of my journey and ive accepted that, and usually i say shit and she just ignores it but maybe she actually heard that and listened

so, dominic is having his 4th bday soon and im happy about that, but like.. we're gonna go do mini golf for my bday which is a surprise! because i mean. if you know me, i dont really like to leave the house, like at all. i guess thats kinda how covid affected me? theres no reason to leave the house anymore so i guess i wont (and i guess it worked cuz i havent gotten it) but it was like. so horrible for my mental health

like i always said "oh, yeah, i dont mind being inside id prefer to not go outside anyways" and thats true but its like. doubled my social anxiety somehow. im normal in public until theres people around me or god forbid interacting with me 💀💀 the way i act when i have to buy my own shit is awful, i get sweaty and i stutter and i shake, i need to take a long breath after it fucking sucks it feels awful. JUST TO LIKE. PUT SOMETHING AT THE CASH REGISTER AND AHVE THEM ASK IF I WANT A REWARDS CARD OR WHATEVER THATS ITTT it sucks

so yeah im surprised i agreed to it, but its glow in the dark minigolf and one thing about me is i love minigolf and i love glow in the dark im gonna have a five nights at freddy moment (which means i gotta wear my shirt like i just gotta) and im sure itll be great fun (pleased about glow in the dark cuz im sure itll be. DARK in there and i dont have to worry so much about people seeing me)

my problem is that im hanging out with my aunt as well and i love my aunt!! everyone on my dads side except for my dad is amazing i love them, but i dont know how she would be yknow? idk if my mom has spilled the tea about it and told her or if theyre gonna just put my deadname on shit this year again like. i dont know

what if it did say dominic? how would my aunt react? its scary to think about, im so scared to LOSE more of my family

i havent even technically lost my moms side, its just that theyre a bunch of racist queerphobic losers and i know if they knew me, they wouldnt want me anymore

yeah im just stressed about it, all this shit is starting to pile up inside of me and i feel like ill explode and jsut say fuck everyone im ME and i dont give a fuck what you think, cuz no, i dont

my immediate family that i live with knows, my grandma knows, thats all that really matters. the only benefits to knowing my great grandparents is they give me money on my birthday, and that might sound hollow or whatever but its true, they fucking suck

just gettin tired of this sht yknow? even now, there is a hostile on the farm!! my moms bf is so homophobic, most likely transphobic too

hes SPECIFICALLY annoying, all the shit i order comes under dominic and hes brought me my things multiple times so he knows, but he'll still say shit like "thats how females are" or "hello girls" and to me its honestly like

its FUNNY because its like the only thing he knows about me is that to him, im a girl SKFJS like genuinely. i dont share anything with him because i fucking hate him, hes the absolute worst. the fact that theyre married and hes my stepdad technically is something i just deny, im never calling that man my dad lol

anyways im thinking about getting a hip binder? i realize thats one of the things im insecure about, is my fat is at my hip and even when i bind it gives me a feminine sort of shape so a hip binder would be great

i realize that i actually dont care so much if im plus size, i just care if my body looks feminine or not

i will absolutely be your fat guy friend with no hesitation okay like that shit? yes im so content for now like that is acceptable, but yknow fat distributes differently so its either baggy ass clothes orr stay inside SKJF

okay im done talking thanks for coming to my ted talk you are safe (for now)

[slimeyoldman]

1. Rick for sure, I like everyone in the family tho ! My favorite specific Rick's are Toxic(because he's awful and very very short sighted, idk i just think he's interesting in a sopping wet pathetic way.) and Flesh Curtains era(because let's be real how am I going to look at a 30 something grungey drunk and not be obsessed. thats like, some of my favorite people irl.)

2. I don't think it matters! Probably space beth, but eh 🤷‍♀️

3. No not canonically. I think it'd be really fun tho and I like all the theories. Ricks do mess around tho, hes a horndog and the citadel exists, a huge conglomeration of Him, i think it happens more often then it seems to.

4. Tilda. I will not elaborate.

5. Errh idk! A lot i guess. Theyve said before they want the like, classic adult cartoon run time(think futurama, family guy, simpsons), so as many seasons as humanly possible if the writers get their way. I think they step on their own toes a little since they seem to toggle between wanting to be an episodic sitcom, but ALSO a serial scifi thriller. I dont think theyve done badly in that regard so far, but theres absolutely aspects of both that are suffering because of the other's presence.(plot inconsistencies n that kinda thing.)

6. Smash, it would be a bad decision for both of us, but itd be fun !

7. Does the galactic federation count? Probably not since its an organization, but for sure that one. Super interesting stuff u can do with space bureaucracy(bc im boring) and state-sponsored violence. But as for an individual, I really really like Beths mytholog, that whole concept is really cool, and her design is hella badass lol. Also i guess Toxic Rick is a villain too !

8. oof I've tried to figure this out and i dont think i can narrow it down, but i really like Rattlestar Ricklactica, Vat of Acid, and a Rickle in Time.

9. uhh idk the one with the giant incest baby? I didn't enjoy Story Train either tbh. I don't think any of the episodes are like, unwatchably bad, but theres absolutely a few I skip when i rewatch the show.

10. I don't care about story lord like, at all. hes just. deeply uninteresting. Not a huge fan of Mr. Poopybutthole, but i think i just thought we were reminded of him too often.(i liked the intervention episode well enough tho)

11. Oh man this is hard to answer cuz hes just done So Much. Like, guys a shithead. The reckless disregard for innocent bystanders is pretty bad. I think it sucks when he orchestrates situations in which morty has to lethally defend himself, and then totally disregards his feelings(which is literally all the time lmfao). like, the kids 14. His casual manipulation of Beth is super fucked, cuz he knows how much he means to her and he exploits that. yeah idk, guys just a pos all around lol

12. Dated question, luckily no! I think the new voice actors are great :3

13. All the rnm blogs i follow are badass as hell. idk how to pick ill prob edit this l8r

14. Can I say rick without sounding like a total loser. mentally ill, substance abuse issues, ruled entirely by emotions, hedonistic while paradoxically engaging in self-harm/hatred. nihilistic(silly flavor). freaked out by commitment/attachment. the party friend(as opposed to someone you invite for brunch or to meet ur parents). also science is cool.

15. the entire "...couldn't let a dead snake be dead even after it bit his ankle, next time stay in the fucking car!" monologue. and the "a vat of fake acid are you Dying of Dementia?!" fight.

16. i havent finished my brackets yet ill get back to you.

17. same as above.

18. man idk probably. i dont actually watch it in a way that supports them(financially) anyway, but that would suck balls cuz its a fixation of mine.

19. done to death probably but mortys "come watch tv?" quote is my fave. it reads to me as incredibly reassuring. optimistic nihilism. like, "nothing means anything, nothings a big deal, lets chill and enjoy it while we can." ya know? like dying is the same as before you were born, and Everyones gonna do it, but we're here together right now, so lets eat pasta and get a little drunk.

20. i know hes doing his own thing but can i be snowball. hes cool and empathetic and capable of growth, also i wanna see how the dog utopia is going.

20 SHORT-ANSWER* RICK AND MORTY QUESTIONS FOR YOU:

*You can write long answers, if you'd like! Feel free to skip questions, too!

Who is your favourite Rick and Morty Character?

Which Beth is the clone: Domestic Beth or Space Beth?

Do you think that Rick-C137 and Rick Prime were previously romantically involved?

What do you think would be a good name for Birdperson and Tammy's daughter?

How many seasons do you think Rick and Morty will eventually have?

Rick C-137: smash or pass?

Who is your favourite Rick and Morty villain?

Your favourite Rick and Morty episode?

Your least favourite Rick and Morty episode?

Who is your least favourite Rick and Morty character?

What is, in your opinion, the worst thing that Rick C-137 has ever done?

Do you think that Rick and Morty will be affected substantially by having to change the voice actor for Rick and Morty and a bunch of other characters?

What's a good Rick and Morty blog?

Who is the Rick and Morty character that you relate to the most?

The funniest Rick and Morty bit/scene, in your opinion?

Best Rick and Morty season?

Worst Rick and Morty season?

Would you stop watching the show if Justin Roiland returned?

Your favourite Rick and Morty quote?

If you had to be one member of the smith family in the next season, who would you want to be?

[unholyxvoid]

okay, cool :]

i think the talking to people all the time thing is definitely bpd, i feel i don’t do that well while completely on my own, but that’s probably just a thing in my head lmao.

yeah :( i’m not sure how to either. whenever i talk to someone, i always wonder if i’m imagining it or not because sometimes i think about how conversations would go with headmates, so i do question if things are real sometimes for that reason. i wish i could give you advice about it.

the way i’ve imagined it is just like the floating organs, but also the non-physical sense too. i feel like that describes a lot about me, and a reason i started using heart/hearts pronouns (which is a long list of pronouns anyways that no one really uses so it doesn’t exactly matter to mention).

we aren’t mutuals! i think i would’ve been like “wow, they followed me back???” if we were mutuals. and i would’ve probably interacted more openly if we were. this isn’t supposed to sound like i’m trying to guilt trip you, by the way. i’m just being honest jsjjajsksk

we’re not even 20 yet (will be soon though) and good grief. why do things feel like they shouldn’t </3

and don’t worry about late or forgetfulness. i get it and don’t blame you for it. i appreciate you reading and responding to all of my fuckin rambling and bullshit at all. so yeah, no worries. it is a lot. i go ham when i’m given permission to lol

-maw 🪽

no i get that completely , i also have a weird thing with talking to someone 24/7 and then being really fucked up if we dont talk even if theyre not a fp or anything , its annoying as hell just let me talk to people normally

the thing with us is that i used to (and still sometimes do) daydream a fuckton like every single day for hours and sometimes this whole headmate thing feels very similar so it really fucks with me and my ability to believe if its real or not

imagining floating organs is really fucking funny im ngl , is there eyeballs too or literally just heart and brain bc the eyeballs would make it even funnier (im not making fun of you its just the mental image of floating brain with eyeballs thats sending me lmao)

ah okay , maybe ill follow you back if you decide to come off anon

oh it all just goes downhill once you hit 20 , shit starts hurting , things start appearing and changing , you gotta start being more careful with everything it just sucks human bodies are fucking terrible man i hate it here . and speaking of i hope youre at least not a minor bc well have to stop talking in that case lmao (nothing personal ofc)

go ham whenever u want , even if i dont respond immediately , i definitely will at some point :3

[cracka1604]

my arm hurts - C

hey, its cracka back at it again, on the tumblr, i be living.

baseball

tomorrow im playing baseball with some friends of mine, i am quite excited yet scared. i have decided this is the first time im publicly going out in 'feminine' clothing, i've held off on this for a while, and im using "its a joke, thought it would be funny" as an excuse for the past week so i guess im writing it off as that. on top of that i havent played baseball in years, im probably rusty as fuck, but who cares, having fun is all that matters. i'll probably still bawl my eyes out afterwards anyways.

feeling a little blue

i dont know what it is lately, but i havent been feeling the best, especially after my mental breakdown last night. i want to do things less, im super fucking exhausted, and im back into the shitty habit of cutting, so much so im tearing up my old clothes and staining my phone red again. i wish i wasnt scared to reach out to others, i feel like i'll make someone sad, or worry about me too much. im scared of disappointing others or scaring them, i dont want people to worry about me. but for some reason at the same time i do, im so fucking weird.

loud music

i love loud music, especially bass heavy music. the thumping kicks and screeching vocals, or the chill melodic thumps and rhymes of some shitty hyperpop kid. whatever it is i enjoy it, especially if its extremely loud and scratchy sounding guitar... fuck im a sucker for that stuff. i've recently got back into listening to music while doing just about anything and damn i love it i love music maybe i love it too much

job issues

i feel like i should talk about my troubles with getting a job. i have recently started applying to local places that are quite straight forward jobs, like a cashier, or cook, just basic shit like that. so far i have applied to ~5 or 6 and i have not even been considered at any of them. the thing is, the interviewers face is quite normal, until he looks near the bottom of my resume, which contains my mental illnesses, because i thought i should let them know, its a nice gesture, right? apparently not, i guess i am seen as more of an issue than an asset to companies, from what i've heard you dont *need* those on your resume so i'll probably remove them when i try to get a job again, because honestly fuck those companies that i cant list, they're all dicks. yeah if you guys are reading this fuck you. you guys are cool though, i love you all, i appreciate you for reading this over and out past the grain fields cracka.

[lostacelonnie]

Truly. School festival? Wild i dont think ive ever been to one of those. Not sure mine ever had them but im glad you had so much fun! Its not completely finished yet i get that done next week but its very cool i love it. I have like. 12 piercings now with still more i want. They were a slippery slope from getting two to all the ones i have & want but i hope you're able to get some in the future. I think i like my eyebrow & lip piercings best. Thats a wild difference damn. Its been sunny mostly cool days right now but we keep going from warmer days to rain/snow warnings here. Oh hell yeah congrats! Strange but positive is the best combination to have honestly. Id also love to check out carnivale if that still happens in italy or mardi gras over here down in louisiana if i had time. Just love the idea of big celebration with cool stuff. Oh sparkle is quantum support with action advance & crit damage (?) boost. She's real good for seele or many teams really. I got archeron! Just need to get her light cone but damn was she cool in the 2.1 story. Not gonna spoil if you havent played through yet. Congrats on your archeron pulls! I think i might save for topaz now & get adventurine later? I do like how he plays but ill grab him later i don't think i have use for him yet. Swarm is so annoying i gave up on it for now terrible fuckin enemies. Mood what set are you usin on archeron? I love her talent too just. Insta enemy kill what a time saver. Really did give her a great & interesting kit. Hm ill have to continue & see how complex she is. Been busy with other games & like. Cosmodyssey & the bartender event in star rail. Oh thats fun i love it keep doin that. Ohh congrats on the writing energy!

yeah school festivals are also pretty rare over here but [thanks to a complete coincidence, i didnt even Know we had those] i ended up in a school that actually organizes one JSDKFJG. would tell you what it is but i feel doxxing my school on tumblr.com is not a terribly good idea. AND HEY THATS AWESOME!!! also yeah i heard it Really Is Like That with piercings shdjfg all my friends said so at least. tbh the only reason i dont have any yet is bc when i was the age when everyone gets their first one [around 8-9 among my peers] i was very physically active and didnt wanna deal with the whole healing process while trying to not get the shit beaten out of me in aikido. so thanks!!! i REAAALLLY wanna get snake bites theyre So cool. AND FOR REAL LIKE???? can the weather Please decide what it wants to do with its life. it was literally raining the whole day today and yesterday i cannot keep dealing with this. esp since today was my first day back to school after the easter break so waiting for my bus was just. miserable. And my classbestie didnt come to school today so i guess i cant have nice things. Oh Well. and for real for real im actually so glad my school doesnt seem to have a single normal person in it because everything is just so much more. chill. and the gossip is Insane i tell you. ever since this year i befriended a bunch of cool alt girls my life had been so much more interesting because they know like everything about everyone. and oh good luck with all that!! i totally agree, tho i definitely have to be mentally prepared for such occasions. Due To The Autism. but yeah theyre SO fun. and oh that sounds like. a very good kit actually. might get her in the future but ahh i still cant quite decide who im gonna pull for next..... only time can tell i suppose. CONGRATS ON GETTING MEI #3!!!!! i maxed out her talents already [thank god for how little time that calyx takes] so i just need to get relics for her now. Auugghhhg. but i decided im just gonna wait for the triple drop event to save myself some sanity and am currently focusing on ruan mei's talents rn since i run her with acheron <- guy who has no welt and his pela is lvl 50 not built. ah thats understandable!!! i was initially Completely uninterested in aventurine but used his trial as a march replacement in my clara team and it all fits together so nicely. speaking of which i literally got clara TWICE yesterday, one pull apart, without pity on standard. the universe loves me i guess. so shes e4 now. FOR FUCKING REAL but at least using acheron in sim uni lets one skip the non boss battles so thats a massive timesaver and also makes dealing with the swarm a lot less problematic. since you only have to deal with the big guy at the end and not trouble yourself with the occasional encounter on the way. seriously tho acheron is so cracked in sim uni. she let me get the achievement for finishing every battle with all allies at 100% hp. im currently using band of sizzling thunder + inert salsotto [LOL] on her!!! as i said. scuffed but does the job for now. but im gonna get her pioneer diver of dead waters + izumo gensei and takama divine realm since i heard thats whats best on her. and yeah her kit is super fun!! and have fun with that!! honestly fair, tho im just stuck in my holy trinity of hi3 - hsr - noita. also i love the bartender event a lot both story and gameplay wise. very very cool. and thankies!!!!!!!

[sunshineshifts]

gonna focus on my Flash/Arrowverse DR in this :)

Part 1:

⭑its a TV show!!

⭑I did, one of the major things I scripted is that several characters didn't die - like Barry's dad, Caitlin's dad, and Cisco's brother. Bc if I can why not make it so my friends have their family members in their lives???

⭑Hang out with the team!!! I want to have fun with my friends, like karaoke, arcades, movies, random walks around the city at midnight!! I'm also looking forward to being a superhero and getting to help people

⭑hm.. I'm not sure? casual, maybe? if that makes sense?

⭑STAR LABS!!!!!! I am so excited to get to see what the place looks like... to actually physically stand in the cortex or the lounge or the speed lab... and to explore all the rooms not featured in the show, I mean, it's a giant place there's gotta be so much cool stuff

⭑i dont have a lot of scenarios scripted yet, but one I do have is when I ask my best friend out!! I'm kinda like "hey. do you want to go out sometime" and he's like "sure why are you so nervous we hang out all the time" and I reply "no I meant like a date..." and he goes "yeah I know I just wanted to mess with you" <3

⭑action is tapping the back of my hand three times.. and safe word... my safe word is poggers... it has been since I got into shifting.. I like the word and I can slip it into conversation surprisingly easily. and it only works if I intend it to work which is good because I actually say it a lot.. do not attack me for being cringe I know </3 (I am cringe but I am free /ref)

Part 2:

⭑Daniel Hartman! actually this reminded me I should pick a middle name huh...

⭑same as in my OR but like. less mentally ill sort of??? like I still have my social and general anxiety and ADHD and probable autism but they don't negatively effect me as much as they do here.

⭑im taller than here bc god I hate being short, I think I scripted like 5'8"?? and my hair is blond bc a) easier to dye and b) being called blondie by my s/o....

⭑I don't have a voice claim, I have like.. some idea of what I sort of sound like, because I don't want to sound like I do here since my voice is fem, but I want a unique voice, y'know? not one I've heard in my OR

⭑I don't have a lot of backstory stuff planned rn it's mostly just like. my life has been really similar to my life here. but this makes me want to come up with fun facts...

Part 3:

⭑I don't remember actually?? maybe tiktok?? I literally have no idea

⭑I don't remember, it was years ago

⭑I haven't been it any DRs yet but I think Ive shifted to places really similar to my OR, like my neighbours house was red and then one day it was white and my family insists it's always been white

⭑I don't have any favorites

⭑^^

⭑raven method maybe?? but the one that's gotten my closest to shifting is actually no method, just thinking about my DR and what I'm excited for in it, or as if I'm there already

⭑thinking abt my friends there and watching the actual show ..

⭑hmm.. do what feels right to you! follow your heart. and also you don't need to script out every little detail, but it's also fine if you do want to!

A challenge for Reality Shifters!

Reblog this post & answer these questions, you can totally skip whichever ones you want, this is just because I like hearing about other people's DRs .:)

Part 1: Your DR

What is your DR? Is it a TV show, a movie, a book, or maybe an original situation?

If your DR is based on pre-existing media, did you change anything, or did you add any details?

What are you most excited to do when you shift there?

How would you describe your DR's aesthetic?

What is your favorite place in your DR?

If you scripted scenarios, which one is your favorite?

What is your safe word/action?

Part 2: Your DR-self

What is your name in your DR?

Who are you in your DR? What are your defining traits?

What do you look like in your DR?

What do you sound like in your DR?

What's an interesting fact about your DR-self?

Part 3: Your shifting journey

How did you first find out about shifting?

What was your first shifting attempt like?

If you've shifted in the past, what was your favorite part of your DR?

If you like to use online meditations, which are your favorites?

If you like to use online subliminals, which are your favorites?

What is your favorite shifting method?

What is something that gives you motivation to shift?

What is one piece of advice you would give to other shifters?

the end :)

[sflksjlksflksj]

personal entry idk

i am doing alot better. currently watching my boys playing in the yard from a picnic blanket. they have barely touched any of their lunch but its fine. my oldest has been on a meal strike since yesterday so i am not surpised at all. i cant believe he is turning three next month its psycho to me. my halloween baby. our vacation to the beach was alot of fun. fought with my husband once we got there but it was due to my issues about the place. i have addictions and the place was a dry place and we brought nothing and i was pissy. i am an awful person i know. my husband tried alot with me and was on the verge of leaving but i snuck off at midnight to smoke and the power went out and i got to see the sky out there and it was so beautiful it made me go wake up my husband and show him the sky and apologize. he forgave me and we made up, i dont know why he puts up with my damage and attitude. from the point we started dating i was just weird and toxic and very self destructive and hes never told me he needed a break or just wanted better or different. hes always just wanted me as i am. of course he hates the fights and he tries his best to understand and help me but i think i could maybe benefit from medication or serious help but hes not for that at all. which i understand because the american healthcare system is very reliant on people needing pills and creating addictions. between a wall and a rock idk what the saying is but i feel that way. my mother has been getting all types of mental help lately and thinks i may suffer some type of PTSD with the way i was raised which i dont agree or disagree with i just simply dont know whats wrong with me. i know i have issues for sure though. my youngest has made him sleeping in his own room pretty difficult these past few weeks but i am going to try a trick where i make his bed feel alot like the bed we make them when they sleep in our room so that he doesnt get out and cry at his door like he has been. maybe its the music too in his room, maybe we need to think about putting a little tv or changing up their night light hookup because i think hes smart enough to know the difference and ambiance sounds between the rooms. i love my cat phobis he has been hanging around me and the boys while they play outside just beinga cool cat. my leg is still doing the weird thing and i have yet to actually log in to my meetme to set the dates for shit because im lazy about my health. i am going to ask my husband to set the dates for the boys dental and health checkup, i know they both probably need shots and blood screens so thats gonna be a mess but i think they are allowing both parents in to appointments now so ill be able to bring my husband and he can help me juggle two upset babies. i am going to put these two down for a nap in the next hour probably. update later

[dani-the-toad]

1,7,22 gender asks

How did you choose your name?

the most cringe way possible! back in time when i was like 8/9ish i played pokemon mystery dungeon explorers of sky. i named the squirtle i played as danichi and then i started using that as part of my online persona and oc names for the various rps i was part of. the most popular character was actually danichi tochira assf who is webcomic famous lmao. it eventually changed to just dani when i was still they/them and eventually daniel toad when i became he/him and neopronouns!

What is your favorite part of being transgender?

ohhhhh so much actually, whoever said being trans is suffering is a dumb bitch because i have never been happier than when i figured out that im just a little dude. my favorite part is probably the confidence it gave me, i used to hate myself so deeply and that started changing so much when i started playing with my gender. now i can say im the sexiest man alive and actually believe myself, now i feel like me outside of cosplay, idk i just feel like myself more often than not. i still have major disconnects with myself but thats a different issue entirely that im still working on

Do your neurodivergencies and/or disabilities affect your gender?

very much so tbh. i feel very disconnected from my humanity (most likely caused by the mental illness) and thats very much influenced how i identify in general, im catgender! im boy leaninf yeah but in the cat sort of way. i use neopronouns because they help me identify myself a little better, even if im the only one who uses them (and thats fine!) but the way my brain works just really changed how i viewed my gender overtime, i used to be a fuckin truscum and then i realized thats stupid, transphobic cis people wouldnt accept me even if i was a “”normal”” trans person so why not make them fear me why not have fun with my gender why not be a stupid little rabid cat!!!

thanks for sending the ask!! i have a lot of gender feelings especially because its been changing overtime and only becoming worse LMAO i should link my pronouny somewhere to show off how many pronouns i collected tho