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slasherhaven · 4 years ago

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I dont think ive see smth like this in your blog and im really sorry if im crossing a line, you dont have to do this but if you could, could you do vincent and any other slashers youd like with a unplanned pregnant s/o? Like they werent expecting it, how would they react? Im sorry again if this is too specific and out of your comfort zone!

The Slashers’ and their S/O reacting to an unplanned pregnancy:

Thomas Hewitt

A pregnancy can only be good news to Thomas (unless you know it’s going to put your health at risk).

He noticed that something wasn’t right but you both just thought you were sick. It was Luda May that pulled you to the side, telling you that you might be pregnant.

But you both agreed to not tell Thomas until you had taken a test and were positive, you didn’t want him to freak out over nothing.

When you tell him, you are nervous about his reaction since neither of you had talked about it. Even if Luda May had been hinting about grandchildren.

But as soon as you tell Thomas that you’re having his child, he is overjoyed!

He wants to be a father, to have a little family of his own. So what if it wasn’t planned? That doesn’t matter, he still wants this.

He’s smiling, placing a large hand on your stomach (even though you aren’t showing yet).

If you’re still worried about this unexpected turn of events, he would be there to comfort you and reassure you. Don’t worry, Y/n. He’s going to take good care of you and your child.

Michael Myers

You had every reason to be nervous about telling Michael about your pregnancy. You loved him, you really did, and you knew that he loved you but he wasn’t the most...nurturing person.

You really didn’t know what he would think or how he would react.

Even if you don’t think he’s the monster people think he is, a part of you worries that he’d just leave if he decided this wasn’t what he wanted.

But you had to tell him, he was going to find out eventually anyway.

Just as usual, your announcement is met with stoicism. The emotionless mask doesn’t help either. But this is one of the main reasons he wears the mask, so nobody can guess what he is thinking.

He wonders if you’re scared that they’ll turn out like him. Would you love them anyway, just like you love him?

He decides that he’s not going to be a good father (whether that’s true or not is a possibly debatable) but he also decides that he is staying put.

You’re going to be caring for this child, right?

You do notice that he’s much more gentle with you at all times. Maybe he cares more than he likes to show...

Jason Voorhees

You weren’t all that nervous about telling Jason about the pregnancy, you knew he would be there for you both and you knew he would be a good father.

When you told him, Jason definitely had to sit down. You’re pregnant? You’re both having a child.

This is big news! His mother would be so proud!

After wrapping his head around it, Jason will pull you into an embrace. He’s going to be good for you, Y/n!

He hadn’t thought about starting a family with you until now but he quickly decides that he likes the idea lot. He likes the idea of raising a child with you, of being a father.

And he’s going to do his absolute best to be the best father for his child. He’s excited to be taking this step with you.

Time to babyproof the cabin!

Brahms Heelshire

Brahms had noticed that something was right, he thought that you were sick. You did at first but eventually you realised what might actually be happening. So, you got a pregnancy test in the next delivery.

You didn’t want to say anything to Brahms until you were completely sure.

Turns out, you were pregnant and now you had to tell Brahms.

He’s not too pleased at first...neither of you had talked about this, he hadn’t even thought about having children. He doesn’t like surprises and he doesn’t like that he’s going to have to compete for your attention.

He might even sulk about it but he’ll slowly come around to it.

You’re having his child...you’re going to be parents...together...maybe this isn’t so bad.

He definitely needs some time to warm up to the idea but he will eventually, probably reluctantly apologising for how he acted.

Bo Sinclair

Haha, good joke...

...you are joking right? Right, Y/n?!

Well...okay, he guesses. It’s not like he could do anything about it now.

He’s going to pull away from you slightly at first, because he’s doubting his own capabilities as a father. He isn’t meant to have a partner, he isn’t meant to have a kids, a family, any of this...and yet here you were.

He stop pulling away eventually and make up for it. However, he becomes more attentive, more protective. Is pretty much going to try to turn you into a housewife type of partner.

But it’s not like he’s going to be doing all the chores just because you’re pregnant.

If you’re down for that, great! If not, just tell him to relax. You’re pregnant, not dying.

He’ll ‘deal with it’ but warms up to the idea more and more as the pregnancy progresses.

Vincent Sinclair

Is he surprised and worried about his abilities as a father? Completely.

Is he going to let that get in the way of doing the best he can? Definitely not.

He’s in awe of you. He loves you so much and you love him, you’re going to have his child...

Just places his hands on your stomach even though you’re not showing yet, there is a baby in there, his baby. God, he loves you so much.

He hadn’t thought about children, this definitely wasn’t planned but if he was given the choice to change it, he wouldn’t even consider it.

He going to be pretty anxious about it though. Both for the future and wondering if his child will like him, but also for the present. He’s so worried about you getting hurt, he fusses over you all the time, but it’s sweet.

Lester Sinclair

You told him just after you found out, when he had come home and didn’t have anything else to distract him. You could just sit down and tell him and the two of you could talk about it for as long as you needed too.

Gets a little frantic when you tell him.

First he’s pulling you into a kiss because: this is great news! He’s going to be a dad! And you’re the one having his baby! He couldn’t be more thrilled!

But then he’s holding you at arms length, eyes wide as he asks you if he can do this.

He goes through every emotion in the book in under a minute. Just let him go through it and once he’s calmed down, assure him that he’s going to be a great dad.

Because he will be!!!

Bubba Sawyer

Raising a child in the Sawyer household would be chaotic to say the least and that was probably the main cause of your anxiety, since you knew Bubba would try his absolute best to be an amazing father and to be there for you.

You need to collect yourself before you tell him, because you’re going to need to calm him down and reassure him.

When you tell him, he is going to freak out a little. He’s just worried about what this means, are you going to be okay, is he going to be a good father, this house isn’t safe for a child!

Once you’ve calmed him down, he’ll actually be pretty excited about the idea of having a child.

The two of you will have your own little family!

He’s going to give you lots of hugs and kisses while babbling happily, he loves you so much and can’t wait to have this baby now!

Billy Lenz

You knew this was going to be messy. Billy hadn’t exactly shown many signs of responsibility at all and he doesn’t really seem like the fatherly type. Not that he doesn’t have the love to give, you know he does. Just the idea of him raising a child...it’s not something that either of you considered.

But you were definitely pregnant, it was definitely Billy’s baby, and you were definitely going to have to tell him.

When you do tell him, he panics.

He can’t be a father! What?!

Yeah, he’s really freaking out. You’re going to have to comfort him and calm him down, assuring him that everything is going to be okay.

Billy’s just kind of rolling with punches. He really doesn’t know how he’s going to be a father but he loves you so much, so this is just something you’re going to do together.

He figures that as long as you’re there, he’ll be okay, you’ll make sure that everything is okay.

Asa Emory (The Collector)

Yes, you were nervous to tell him about the pregnancy. You had no idea how he would feel or what he would think.

But, of course you had to tell him before he found out some other way.

You weren’t even surprised when he barely reacted. He was thinking, you knew that, so you gave him a moment. This whole thing was a surprise for both of you.

“I had my suspicions” well, that wasn’t the response you were expecting.

But of course he noticed the little changes in you. Your fatigue, any sickness you had been feeling. He knew the signs, he already suspected that you were pregnant. So, thankfully, it wasn’t a complete surprise to him.

You’ll never know exactly how he felt when he first started suspecting pregnancy but by the time you tell him about it, he’s already come to terms with it.

(He’s also aware that this would be good for keeping up appearances. He loves you, he does, but he can’t help that his mind often wanders to more logical pros and cons of things)

He gets a little...overbearing, but it’s honestly nice to get all that extra attention from him.

Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull)

You’re understandably nervous about telling Jesse, unsure of how he would react and already knowing about his past.

And when you do tell him...yeah, it brings back some less than happy memories. The last time he was going to have a child...well, it didn’t end well.

But you’re different. You know about what he does and you love him despite it. If you want to bring this child into the world, you know completely who they’re father would be and you’d love them anyway.

(Like with Asa, it would be undeniably good for his image, having a spouse and a child, but that’s not something that he’s making decisions based on when it comes to you)

It’s not always easy to throw off Jesse but this did it, and you’re just waiting for his reaction nervously.

Of course, he doesn’t say anything, but he guides you towards him. A hand resting on your stomach as he presses a kiss to your forehead. He’s telling you that he’s okay with this if you are.

Otis Driftwood

You’re not wrong for being a little nervous to tell him or have a child in the Firefly household at all.

I can completely see why you think he might react badly.

However, when you do tell him, he’s actually pretty calm. Sure, he’s surprised, but he takes it well.

Admittedly, he never thought about having kids, and if he did he might have even decided that he wasn’t interested in having them.

But you’re pregnant, you’re both having this child, and that’s okay.

He’ll pull you into him, smirking as he says something along the lines of “so we’re going to be parents, huh?” he’s a little surprised when you just pull him into a relieved hug, but returns it.

He’ll raise them ‘right’, whatever he considers to be right.

All he promises you is that he is going to be a much better parent than his were. That’s it, that’s all he wants to be and he will be.

Yautja (Predator)

You find out at the exact same time. As soon as you start throwing up or just not feeling right, he’s taking you to get some medical attention.

And the medic tells you that you’re pregnant, as blunt as Yautja’s are.

Your mate is overjoyed. This is great news!

Even if the two of you weren’t planning this, he still loves the thought of you carrying his child, of you having his child. Yeah, this definitely isn’t bad news to him.

But he understands if you’re kinda freaking out about this, it was a surprise to you both.

Still, he’s going to be right there for you. Super involved and supportive, assuring you that you’re going to have the best medical care (better than anything you could get on earth). It’s all going to be fine.

Gets ten times more protective, clingy, and affectionate.

#thomas hewitt x reader #michael myers x reader #jason voorhees x reader #brahms heelsire x reader #bo sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair x reader #lester sinclair x reader #bubba sawyer x reader #billy lenz x reader #asa emory x reader #the collector x reader #jesse cromeans x reader #chromeskull x reader #otis driftwood x reader #yautja x reader #predator x reader #my writing

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glowstickk · 5 years ago

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i wish to know... about your zimverse ocs... they seem pretty neat...

anon u GOT IT i’ve been wanting to talk abt the gang for so long!!!!! when i saw this ask i lost my marbles!!! knowin that someone is actually interested in these guys makes me so happy!!! so!! here they are!!! also!! apologies that it took me so long to actually answer, i wanted to be able to say all of the lore for lizzie (who hadn’t had her chara arc in rp at the time) and by the time i got her arc done i ran flat outta spoons nbfkgb,, but i got my spoons back and whipped up a few lil pictures to go with this so hopefully that makes up for it!!! oki here we go!! under a cut because talking about five separate charas is gonna get long ndfjkv

ZAPPELINE VOLTAIRE

she/he/they | genderfluid | somewhere between 25-37 y/o zap is basically my main character! she used to be a scientist who worked on interdimensional research, more specifically what the theoretical effects of interdimensional travel/portals would be on the human body and the safety of all of that. at one point the lab she worked at lost funding, but she decided to fuck around there before it got demolished because why not! she did a few experiments on herself, including changing her natural hair color and making it so that she could see an extra color. the latter of which did not work out entirely as planned, because the rods in her eyes didn’t grow in quite right. so! now she has red-green colorblindness in her right eye, and something similar to tritanomaly in her left, which is why she wears those funky glasses!

gonna be honest, i’m still working on a way to properly explain the next bit without it getting super boring or incomprehensible, but tdlr the new colors corresponds to a wavelengths that interdimensional rifts emit, so now she can see interdimensional rifts! she noodles out a way to build an interdimensional portal using some leftover notes from one of her co-workers, and jumps through! she ended up getting too excited about the portal and forgets to make sure it’s stable, and it ends up collapsing the second she gets through. so now she’s stuck in the multiverse! fun! after a bit of dimension-hopping, mad science, and the entire plot of polychrome (a game concept im workin on!!), she lands herself in zimcon!

SPARKPLUG VOLTAIRE

he/they | nonbinary | 5 y/o

sparkplug was originally built by zap to be her impulse control! this did not work! for context, zap used to be a really shitty supervillain before zimcon, so i kinda made sparkplug to be her sidekick/henchman? but in the way that’s like, supervillain is really nice and respectful to their “underlings” and basically treats them as equals and as friends, because i love that trope so fucking much. the original joke was “haha the supervillain has pack-bonded with the box!” but then the box turned into a kid and well! here we are. eventually after just. existing for a while they developed their own personality, and pretty much just became a regular kid! they arrived at zimcon as a box, but later on they end up asking zap for an astroboy-style body! as of writing this they haven’t gotten it yet, but that’s just because the rp’s kinda on pause right now. i do wanna say tho i have a special lil bit of art for it ready that hopefully yall will enjoy!!

ELIZABETH VOLTAIRE

she/her | cis (ew) | 4 years younger than zap

god just. i hate elizabeth! i really do. she’s another version of zap who is basically just an evil boomer who can’t even be fun or dramatic about it. in polychrome, she takes over as the big bad of the game. i feel like she works a lot better in polychrome just because that’s what she was made for, tbh. she and zap used to work together at one point, but due to a lot of arguing, many disagreements and some other Events(tm), started hating each other. she’s literally no fun at all and i can’t really expand upon her all that much without going into spoilers territory so that’s about it for her.

LIZZIE VOLTAIRE

she/they | trans gal | 745-748 y/o

lizzie is a ghost! she’s an alternate version of zap that died before she could ever leave her home dimension. after she died, she was quite literally chained to her death spot for over 700 years. when she died though, she was given a contract that said she could be freed if she got someone to sign it, the person signing it would be able to have her do whatever they want, but once she finished the task she could be free. if the person signing felt that she wasn’t doing a good enough job, they could rip up the contract and she’d be sent back to her death spot. it sounds bad, but it was all she had so she tried her best to get someone to sign! unfortunately though, in the few months where there were still people around, she hadn’t been able to figure out how to get herself to be visible again. just before she figured that out, the world underwent some kind of apocalypse, and all the people were wiped out. so she had no choice but to just kinda sit there and vibe for 700 years.

that is until elizabeth came along! liz signs her contract, and lizzie starts working as a henchman for her. the elizabeth arc happens (which is basically elizabeth helps lizzie possess zap and tells her to erase the con members’ memories, she does this, people are pissed, lizzie gets knocked out of zap’s body, zap dies, comes back, and beats the shit out of elizabeth and later sacrifices her to a crab) and liz decides to send her back for not doing a good enough job. so she goes back to her death spot, and after a night’s stay makes a deal with an eldritch blonde twink to gain her freedom.

REGINALD SPECTER

he/him | agender | a few thousand years probably (boomer)

bastard!! bastard man!! reggie is the one responsible for lizzie’s (and a few other peoples’) death(s). he has a job in the underworld which is basically just “take care of this huge monster that eats parts of people’s identity.” he found that feeding it souls worked best, so instead of finding lost souls he just decided it’d be easier to get some new ones. in order to kill people without getting caught, he disguises all his murders as accidents. lizzie’s happened to be a falling stage light that hit her on the head real hard. it’s not a cool or fun death and it makes her real mad ndjvkdf

lizzie was left there for so long because reggie pretty much just forgot about her. he left her the contract to give her some form of hope, which would keep her from fading away completely, but she was chained there so he could come back when he remembered. when liz signed her contract he got some sort of notice about it, and decided to come back to lizzie later for some shits and giggles. when they met up, he told her if she could find a soul to trade he’d give her her freedom. she accepts, and picks zap to trade, hoping that getting rid of her would help her earn liz’s approval (it didn’t). zap gets sent to this weird hell maze, and when a few others get in the way they get sent there too. lizzie eventually gets talked down from sending more and more people to the hell maze, and she lets them out. she’s tired of hurting people, and wants to give helping others a try! at the moment, reggie isn’t aware that lizzie let them out of the maze (and thus, isn’t gonna give him a soul to trade). if he finds out it’ll be bad, but for now she’s just vibing and trying her best to be nice!

reggie’s very much inspired by hate and dial from tpoh, and a lot of lizzie’s story is inspired by my personal theories on blondie/rgb’s death!! its basically “how many tpoh references can i cram into this: the arc.” it’s unbelievable the amount of shit i was allowed to get away with with nobody calling me out nfjdkvsf

aaaand that’s kinda it!!! i tried my best to make this short and readable, i wrote up something else earlier that was a LOT longer and im much more happy with this version. and if something i said doesn’t make sense or anyone wants to ask anything about these guys or polychrome id be more than happy to answer!!!! thank you so much for reading!!!! <3!!

#also MASSIVE shoutout to zimverse gang #if yall r reading this!! i love u guys i honestly never would have even like. gotten confident in my ocs if it weren't for yall #its!! a long and complicated thing that i don't quite know how to put into words but yall have given me so much confidence when it comes #to writing!! and just like. HHOUGH gettin soft in these tags huh #anyways!!! ily guys #and anon!!! ilysm!! thank you for asking abt them this was rlly fun to write up!!#i dunno you like. personally but you seem like a chad #oki!! its like three am as im writin this gonna queue it forrr rtha morninnn #if you're reading this i hope you have a wonderful day/night/afternoon!!#also im gonna get back to postin art soon i got a fuckton of drawings to share #been doin artfight too!!! ill do dumps of those in fours i think? i dont wanna spam dnvjkdfv #and im gonna try to finish the 2k requests soon!! ik its been like 6 whole ass months but im still goin #oki!! enough rambling!!! !!! gotta add my regular tags #ask #zimverse #zimverse rp #oc info post #hopefully that tag will work!#oki. goobnight o7 #glowdart #glowcs

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ladyhistorypod · 4 years ago

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Episode 18: Three’s Company, Four’s Divine

Sources

Ishtar

Open Richly Annotated Cuneiform Corpus: Mesopotamia Timeline

Open Richly Annotated Cuneiform Corpus: Inanna/Ishtar

Electronic Text Corpus of Sumerian Literature: Inanna and Enki

Electronic Text Corpus of Sumerian Literature: Inana's Descent to the Netherworld

Cuneiform Digital Library Initiative: Composite Text of Akkadian Descent of Ištar

Journal of Near Eastern Studies

CONSTRUCTING THE IMAGE OF ASSINNU BY MARTTI NISSINEN SAANA SVÄRD

Further Learning: Electronic Text Corpus of Sumerian Literature: Epic of Gilgamesh, Epic of Gilgamesh: Standard Babylonian Version

Nüwa

Oxford Reference

Mythopedia

Google Arts & Culture

Further Learning: Remarks by Ambassador Cheng Jingye

Danu & Tuatha Dé Danann

The Goddess Danu (YouTube)

Danu - Irish Goddess (YouTube)

Ancient History of Ireland, Tuatha De Danaan, Scythians, and Phoenicians (YouTube)

Celtic Mythology - An Introduction to the Tuatha De Danann (YouTube)

Further learning: House Shadow Drake - Don and Dana, Celtic Myth and Legend, Poetry and Romance, The Sacred Isle: Belief and Religion in Pre-Christian Ireland, Life Understood from a Scientific and Religious Point of View, The History of Ireland

Persephone

Hesiod’s Theogony

Homer’s Hymn to Demeter

Madeline Miller

Further Learning: Lore Olympus (webcomic), Punderworld (webcomic)

Attributions: A Ghrà by Damiano Baldon

Click below for a transcript of this episode!

Haley: Which goddess is three point three seven feet tall? Kelsie: Three point three seven? Haley: Yes. Alana: Do– do you want us to say? Do you want to say? Lexi: These jokes are just a quiz for Kelsie. Haley: I have to have multiple jokes? I'm not ready. Alana: I have one it’s fine. Haley: Okay well it's Demeter. Alana: And you know you should also you know in in in COVID times, in COVID times you should be standing Demeters apart. Lexi: Oh. My. Lord Jesus. Oh my god. I should say oh my lord Ashera [Ash-er-a]. Kelsie: There you go. Alana: Oh, that's very funny. Haley: I love when Alana’s– Alana: Ashera [Ash-ay-ra], actually please. Lexi: Yeah, right. I knew as soon as I said it I said it wrong. Haley: Every couple of episodes Alana will… like Lexi and I will say something, and Alana will be like “oh that's like really funny” in this tone and like… I’m always funny. Don’t be surprised. I don't need this from you. Kelsie: Actually Haley, you're quite hilarious. Haley: Thank you. Lexi: Wait, but how does that tie into social media? Haley: I didn't get to the question yet. The question is because for… well my dad doesn't listen to my podcast, but for my dad is the worst person to get Christmas or birthday presents and his birthday is January 2, so like hop skip and a jump right after Christmas. But he loves board games, and his favorite board game is Codenames, so I have printed out over two hundred photos– like family photos– of the like stupidest photos in the world. And I'm laminating everything so it could be his own Codenames pictures, replacing all of it. Kelsie: That’s good. Haley: And my question is, is there a photo from your childhood where you're like what am I doing but you have that second jolt of like no this actually makes complete sense when you're realizing like what you're doing in the photo? For me it was crouching down in like the seventh grade next to a kangaroo, waking up a kangaroo, and then immediately after getting punched. I also had bangs but it was Australia and humidity or whatever climate that just didn't work with my curly hair. Lexi: So that was a set up so I could say that the picture of me digging up a dinosaur… Which, famously on this podcast I get mad when people think archaeologists dig up dinosaurs. Kelsie: As you should. Lexi: But yes, there is a picture of me, five years old, digging up a dinosaur. Not a real one. I don't think they’d let four year olds do that. Haley: But the best part is the goggles! Lexi: I have goggles on to protect me from the dirt. Kelsie: That’s important. You don’t want to get schmutz in your eyes. Lexi: But I’ve never been on a dig where I wore goggles. Kelsie: Maybe you should. Maybe you should wear goggles next season. Lexi: You know how much acne I’d get around my face if I wore goggles in the heat of Israel? Alana: Yeah, right? Kelsie: Who cares? Alana: No, go to Ireland! [INTRO MUSIC] Alana: Hello and welcome to Lady History; the good, the bad, and the ugly lady you missed in history class. We're back recording new episodes, so here is Lexi. Lexi, what would you be the goddess of? Lexi: Cross stitching and tricycles. Alana: Do you want to elaborate or just leave it at that? Lexi: Well right now I am cross stitching and it's what I do with my hands when I'm talking because I have mental problems and the only way I can focus on something is to do something else mindless. And the tricycle is because I have an adult tricycle and an anecdote my dad took that tries to go into the bike repair shop to get the brake fixed and he was too embarrassed to say it was his daughter’s so he said his wife bought it for his mother in law. Alana: And I really like that question so I'm also gonna ask Haley. Haley, what would you be the goddess of? Haley: I think I would be the goddess of eggs, just because I would control them and like not take it in because like I don't wanna be the goddess of something like I destroy, so like… Alana: For the irony. Haley: The irony. Eggs. Alana: And it's our third ever guest, Kelsie! Kelsie, tell the listeners a skosh about yourself. Kelsie: Hi everybody I'm Kelsie Ehalt. I am a Master’s student at Brandeis right now and I'm going to go and list the department I'm in. It's just a lot of words, so get ready. But I'm in the joint program in Near Eastern and Judaic Studies and Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies, those are two different departments, but they both have ‘ands’ which makes things confusing. But basically I study ancient history via texts right now. I do archaeology as well but right now since digging’s not really a thing because we shouldn’t travel because of the pandemic, I'm really focusing on languages for my Masters. And then I also incorporate the gender studies side of things into the equation, so I'm just looking at how gender functions in the ancient world and thinking about it from a not straight white man perspective, basically, because that's basically all that’s been published. And there’s some better scholarship coming out now, but there's still some work to be done so I'm doing what I can there. Alana: We do love all of that. And I'm Alana and I tried to start an all goddess religion when I was like eight. (Haley laughing) Alana: Me and my friend Kay who is one of my like oldest friends in the whole world, they're gonna get a shout out a little bit later as well because they sort of helped me in my research. We like tried to start up polytheistic all goddess religion when we were like eight. We like had a list of goddesses that we wanted to name and we like created little rituals. A great time to be had. Kelsie: Everyone should have just a religion creation phase I think. Alana: Absolutely. We called it Selenism because the main goddess was Selene. Haley is shaking her head at me and it's making me feel… ways. Haley: I love it but also like… Lexi: I feel like I was like writing fan fiction before I knew it was fan fiction, while you simultaneously were making a religion. Haley: Like I'm not surprised that either of this happened. Not surprised at all. Alana: It's a true story, it's a fun story. We kept a lot of ash in bottles… related to this religion that we were making up. Kelsie: Where did you get ash from when you were like… Haley: Yeah, that’s the… Alana: I don't think we still have it, but like we had it for a while. Lexi: No no no, where did you acquire it? Kelsie: What were you burning? Alana: Oh. From like. I don't remember. Haley: No that's a body. Alana: I think we just like burned paper or something and collected the ash. Kelsie: Oh, that’s not exciting. Alana: We played with a lot of fire when I was… Kay and I… we played with a lot of fire. Haley: Yeah! Yes! Yes. Lexi: I don’t know what to say. Haley: No, playing with fire… Wait, were you a Girl Scout too? Alana: No, I was a Daisy for half an hour and then they wanted me to do all this like stupid weird shit like say my own name in a group of people so that was a no no for baby Alana. Alana said no no to being a Daisy. Kelsie: Alright so I'm going to talk about my girl Ishtar today. So Ishtar is the Akkadian name for the goddess of love and war but the Sumerian version of her name is Inanna so I might switch back and forth between Ishtar and Inanna but know that by the later period they're the same person. There's some debate about whether Ishtar was a separate goddess who became then sort of like coagulated in with this earlier Inanna, or if Ishtar is just like a direct connection to Inanna, there's a debate about this, it’s not quite clear. So I’ll probably refer to her as Ishtar. If I mess up and instead of Inanna it’s because I work with the later period stuff so I don't really see Inanna too much. But anyway so Ishtar, Inanna is the Mesopotamian goddess of love and war. And she's depicted in all kinds of different texts, but obviously we have the most interesting sort of goddess information about her from the mythological texts, but she also shows up in legal texts because they're just invoking her to you know validate decisions, things like that. And people in this period, well in Mesopotamia across all periods of history, have personal gods so she’s invoked in sort of just letters too if they're just like “hey bud I'm sending you this thing, you know, good luck, thanks Ishtar or Inanna.” like whatever, she's brought up a lot. But for today I'm gonna focus on a few of the mythological texts because I think that's where we get the most interesting information about who she is as a character in the Mesopotamian religion. So the biggest story, or the story where she has the biggest role, is– the title’s translated, there's not really a title, they don't always title these tablets. But it's translated as the Descent of Inanna or Ishtar into the Netherworld. So I'm gonna give you a little summary of what goes on in that story which is… it's a fun one. I actually– this is one of the first things I– the actual– first actual texts I worked on translating in Akkadian, not just working out of the exercise the book but actually working with text. So I'm gonna tell you the Sumerian version a slightly longer, and there are more details, so I'm gonna tell you that version, and then I can tell you how the later Akkadian versions differ later. So here, Inanna–because this is Sumerian– she's deciding to go down to the netherworld. It's kind of conceived as like a cavern type thing underground so I guess I should go over Mesopotamian cosmogony first so we have Earth here which is where you know humans and mortals lived, and above that is the heavens, which is pretty standard for what modern Abrahamic traditions follow as well. But then beneath the Earth, we have the netherworld or underworld. In Sumerian it’s kur, in Akkadian it's kurnigi… I'll just call it the netherworld. And then between the netherworld and the Earth we have the Apsu, which is sort of this underground water where things happened too, and that's where Enki lives. And that's also– that plays a role in the creation story of Enuma Elish where Tiamat, one of the primordial goddesses who's the goddess of fresh water...? Either freshwater or saltwater I’m forgetting. She mixes with Apsu which is either freshwater or saltwater, whichever one she's not, and they create the other gods from there. So the Apsu is really important because it's sort of the origin point of all of the gods within Mesopotamian… the Mesopotamian pantheon. It's also where Enki lives, and he's one of the head gods too and we'll talk about him some more in the story because he plays a role. Okay so in the Descent of Inanna… so she's going down to the underworld to visit her sister Ereshkigal, who is the goddess of the underworld. I'm forgetting what her name is in Sumerian, it might be still Ereshkigal. But she’s going down to visit Ereshkigal because her husband– Ereshkigal’s husband has died, so Inanna wants to go to his funeral. And before she goes down, she tells her assistant– it's translated as minister in the versions that I looked at– her minister whose name is Ninshubur– I'm not sure about the length of the vowels there, but Ninshubur is Inanna’s like assistant, I'm imagining like a PA. And so Inanna is like “okay Ninshubur, like I'm going down, it's kind of dangerous to go, people don't really go down to the netherworld, so if I'm not back in three days go ask these gods for help.” and she gives a list of gods. First is Enlil, and then Urim, Nanna, and Enki. That's important later because she gives a list of four and it's important that she gives a list of four because the first three don't help her, but we'll get to that in a minute. So Ninshubur is like “okay, great, have a good visit to the netherworld,” and off Inanna goes. So Inanna goes down, she’s stopped by the gatekeeper… and the gatekeeper says “hold up, what are you doing here and why are you here?” And so Inanna says “I'm visiting my sister because her husband died and I want to go to the funeral” and he's like “okay let me go ask her.” So he goes and asks Ereshkigal if it’s okay and Ereshkigal is concerned because before Inanna went down, she got these powers. And the powers are manifest in physical objects. So she gets a ring that has some sort of special power, and this lapis lazuli necklace that has a power, and there are seven other– seven total things, so five other things that have powers. And so Ereshkigal knows that Inanna brought these and she's concerned about them because there's a sort of not trusting dynamic between them even though they are sisters. So Inanna’s like okay you can let her in but close all seven gates and only open one at a time to let her in, and each gate take one of her things. So she goes through it's the same sort of structure throughout, in the Sumerian. And she goes to one gate, they take her ring. She goes to the second gate, they take her hat or whatever. And it goes on for seven gates. And then she gets to the last gate, they let her in, and basically it was a trap. Speaker 0: They… it's kind of confusing. The Sumerian is not really clear on what exactly happens. But I've sent Alana the link to the translation that I looked at, and so you can read it too if you want to see– Alana: That will be in our show notes at ladyhistorypod dot tumblr dot com. Kelsie: Yeah. So I used the version that the… the Electronic Corpus of Sumerian Literature version which is trans– it's sort of a… It's a compilation of some different translations but it's a pretty standard not too fluffy interpretive translation, so I thought it was pretty good. But basically… so she gets the last gate and then they start yelling at Inanna and then she turns into a corpse and they put her on a hook. I'm not exactly sure what the process of these things are, but I’m imagining they're yelling at her and she just sort of like desicates and like dries up and they like put her on a hook. The motivation isn't super clear, I think, and some of the tablet is broken, so there… we might be missing some of the context, of course. And you know, of course, something important happens in a break, that's always the case, it’s never something boring. So maybe there’s some sort of other story, and maybe it's orally transmitted, detailing the drama between Ereshkigal and Inanna. Maybe there's a more specific reason why Ereshkigal does not trust Inanna and therefore wants to take her powers and then trick her to stay in the netherworld. Anyway, so Inanna's dried up, on a hook, and then three days passed and so Ninshubur, you know, being the loyal personal assistant, realizes three days have passed and Inanna’s not back, so she's like “oh shit, I better go get help.” So she goes to the first person that Inanna told her to ask for help from, Enlil. Enlil says “no, I’m not helping.” And then Ninshubur goes to Urim, Urim says “no I'm not helping.” And then Ninshubur goes to Nanna, and Nanna says “no, I’m not helping.” And finally she goes to Enki, who in some versions of myths is Inanna’s father. And in this version he… the wording is that he is her father, but we have to be careful with the wording about like familial relations in Near Eastern text because sometimes they’re just using them to describe power dynamics, not actual biological relations. So even though Enki here is you know referring to Inanna as his daughter, it might just be a power dynamic thing rather than a biological relation. That's not super clear, but in other versions of the story he’s also depicted as her father so I think that's fair enough to go for the narrative. But anyway, he’s like “okay fine I'll help, what is Inanna doing?” And so Ninshubur explains that she went down to the netherworld and is stuck. So Enki's like “okay I have a plan.” So he makes these two figures and these are gonna come up later because these figures are what I'm doing my thesis on. He takes dirt from his fingernail and he makes a kurgarru and in the Sumerian it’s galutera. In later Akkadian is just galu. But these two figures– and I��ll explain a little bit more later when I talk about what I'm doing for my thesis– there are some interesting gender performance things going on with these figures. But right now I’ll just leave them as helpers that Enki makes from dirt from under his fingernail. And he gives one of them a plant and he gives one of them water, and he’s like “okay, go down to the netherworld, and give… you're gonna see a corpse, and it's gonna be confusing, but that corpse is your queen.” So I love that saying, because he's like “you’re gonna see this dead body” so he knows what happened already, which I don't understand how that happened. But he's like “you're gonna see this corpse, give her the water, give her the food, and you'll be okay.” They go down, they give Inanna the water and the plant, and she– I assume like somehow revives. And I’m imagining like a sponge, like they put the water on her and like I said before, like I’m imagining like the yelling like desiccated her, so there was sort of like… like soaking up the water. And so okay… she's like “okay I'm fine now.” So they start to leave, and these two demons stop them, the group of three who are leaving, so there’s five of them now. And they say “well, no one ever leaves the netherworld, so you need to send someone to replace you.” And she's like “okay, who do you want” and they're like “we want your assistant” and she's like “no she's too loyal” and then they're like “we want your manicurist” and she's like “no she's too good” and then they're like “what about your husband” and Inanna’s like “okay sure, I guess.” There's some other stories about her husband Demuzi, that it was an arranged marriage too so Inanna is like not too keen on her husband. But so anyway, so the demons go to take Demuzi, and he's like “oh no, I don't want to go to the netherworld.” So he talks to his brother Utu, who lives in the heavens, and he's like “Utu, turn my limbs into snakes so I can escape the demons” and Utu is like “okay, that sounds like a good idea.” And so he turns his limbs into snakes, and he escapes the demons. And then the last part of the story is really fragmented, so I have no idea what's going on, but apparently Demuzi escapes, and then some other things happen, and then Inanna talks to a fly… like a bug, a fly, who says “I know where your husband is, we can go find him.” And then apparently the fly helps her– it's broken so it's hard to know and then the story ends somewhere there. But that's the short, sort of humorous version of the Sumerian version of the descent of Ishtar, or Inanna, rather. And then the Akkadian version is a lot shorter, it leaves out a lot of the details of… it doesn't have the story afterward, after they leave the netherworld and the demons are trying to take someone back to replace Inanna, the Akkadian version doesn't have that. One of the notable things but the Akkadian version, I think, and this sort of links into my master's thesis, which I’ll get to in a second, is that when Ishtar, in this case since we're talking about the Akkadian, is stuck in the netherworld, there's a whole series of lines repeated twice or three times where it's like all of the animals and humans aren't having sex anymore. And things are bad. And so that's how they know that something's wrong with Ishtar, instead of the assistant sending people down to help, other people realize that something's wrong, which I think is interesting. And then, you know, then she gets back and it's okay. But yeah. So, to talk about my thesis a little bit. So I'm focusing on a couple different figures in the cult of Ishtar, the main ones I'm focusing on is the assinnu. The assinnu is the syllabic spelling of it in Akkadianin but there's also a logogram which in Sumerian is sagg or sag. That one you see sometimes the other one is urmunis which is literally man-woman. Haley: Fun fact, sag in Farsi is dog. Kelsie: Oh, really? Haley: Yeah. Kelsie: In Sumerian it’s head or like top. Haley: Oh that's fun. I was ready for you to be like wolf. Kelsie: No, it's the same as the Arabic it's kelb, kelbum in Akkadian. Anyway, so I think there's definitely something going on interesting gender-wise with these figures, and so actually I first came up with this topic because I was reading the descent of Ishtar in Akkadian, not the Sumerian version. But my first semester of Akkadian, and my professor was a PhD student and we got to a part where– the part where in the Akkadian version, Ea instead of Enki makes an assinnu. And it's the word assinnu in the Akkadian version, but it’s kurgarru and galla in the Sumerian version, but these are all kind of related. I'm throwing words out, I’ll explain the difference– and also the difference isn't super clear, so if you’re confused between them, everyone is. There's not a clear distinction between these roles that we found in the textual evidence so far. But I was like “okay what's an assinnu” because I never heard that word before, that's not a common word in Akkadian and he’s like “oh, it's like a third gender person” and like that raised red flags in my gender studies brain, I'm like okay like whenever you categorize something as third gender without any other discussion there's something interesting going on there. So I started reading some more about what people had written about the assinnu and it turned out to be pretty gross because as we all know being archaeology students and students of the ancient world, it's all white straight man… cis straight men writing about basically everything and so that's the case with gender as well, unfortunately. And so in all these different translations of texts, the assinnu are translated from everything as like cultic prostitute, to eunuch, to impersonator– all these gross words that I think… one, just really limit the conversation that you could have about gender in these figures because you're placing so many modern assumptions on them just with the single word that you're using, and two, especially words like eunuch and cultic prostitute like there's no textual evidence to support these interpretations anyway. So it's all this secondary scholarly interpretation being placed on these figures where you know there's not many textual instances of them, so it's hard to say what exactly is going on but there's not specific evidence for castration or prostitution. For my thesis I’m basically going through and writing about how the word assinnu and kurgarru and galu and kalu have been translated by scholars, and then going back and seeing like what can we figure out in terms of their gender performance from the actual textual evidence that we have, as opposed to just going to these simplistic, interpretive labels. And my proposition, too, at the end is to not translate words like that because any translation that we have is going to simplify the role of these figures and I think just leaving it in the Akkadian leaves more room open for describing the things that they did and leaving it open because we don't know a lot about them, and just leaving that sort of gray area there instead of just labeling them one thing or another. But yeah so that's what I'm working on for my thesis, and all of these figures are associated with Ishtar specifically. And I think there is something interesting there because of Ishtar’s liminality herself because she's the goddess of love and war and those are two kind of opposite things. And her own gender performance is kind of somewhere in between this binary because sometimes she's portrayed in cylinder seals and things with a beard, and her animal is a male lion, or a lion with a mane, at least. I mean there are female lions with manes too. So I think Ishtar herself has some interesting gender things going on, so it makes total sense that her cultic functionaries, her cultic personnel, also had some interesting gender things going on too. So I'm just trying to figure out what exactly we can say about what's going on within her temple. There’s not a lot of evidence, but just trying to figure out what's going on. Lexi: I love it. I love your thesis. Haley: My mind is blown. Lexi: I really struggled to settle on a lady for this episode because I wanted to do something interesting but I didn’t want my lady to be from the same region as like another lady that was already being covered by one of you in this episode and that's– the regions you are familiar with are the regions I am familiar with because we had the same professors. So I had to branch out of my comfort zone and explore a person I had never explored– well, a god I never explored because this is goddesses. So I did what any sensible person would do and I reached out to my sister– sorority sister, for everyone who's been following along. And I would like to thank my sister Amber for suggesting this lady. It was a very good suggestion. So I'm talking today about Nüwa. Clarification, as always, I do not speak Chinese, so that's the best that it��s going to get but it's probably not totally correct but do with that what you will. I speak Korean, not Chinese. Alana: Have I been Jewish yet? Have we said Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots yet? We got to get all three. Lexi: You got them in. We got them in. Nüwa is the mother goddess of traditional Chinese mythology, so you know we know of a lot of other mythologies from other parts of the world and there often is a mother figure… you know, a matriarch among the deities if you know what I mean. So she's that but in China. And her name is made up of two characters, nu which means woman and wa which is a unique character that is only a part of her name, so that's how it distinguishes her from women in general, it's Nu-Wa. And she is the sister and wife of emperor god Fuxi. And Fuxi is the god who created hunting and cooking, which is a fun combo like hunt then cook? Not vegan, but very relevant to each other. She is often depicted as a serpent, and it's her body is the figure of a serpent and she has a woman's head. And she is capable of shape shifting into anything she wants so she can change how she appears. And let me just say she looks really dope, like what a vibe, check out our Instagram, I’ll put up a picture there, or Google her, but I'm obsessed with the different looks that she has. In some depictions she's just drawn as a woman in traditional Chinese dress, which is hanfu and that's slightly less cool but like chill. And in the traditional Chinese creation story Nüwa created humankind from the earth. And we see this in a lot of creation myths. If you know of creation myths from around the world, a lot of times like the physical earth or clay or dirt is related to the creation of humankind. So the story goes that one day she was walking through the woods and she found the woods to be so beautiful that she was sad that she couldn't share the beauty with others. She wanted someone else to enjoy the beauty of the earth. So she decided to create humans from the clay around the river. So she stopped at the riverbank, she picked up the clay, and she's like “I can make humans out of this.” And it is said that she made the aristocracy, like the aristocratic class from yellow clay from the riverbank, and the lower classes were made from mud. And so Nüwa made the upper classes with her hands, she molded them, but her hands got tired and so she picked up a rope and she dipped in the mud, swung it around over her head, and the mud that dropped off became the lower classes. So there is a class distinction in this story, I assume it was at one point in history perpetuated by the upper classes to justify like the class divide in their society but that's how the story goes. And there are several versions that story with varying details so if you are curious to go explore it there are texts about her written in Chinese and Vietnamese and a couple other Asian languages, so if you speak any of those and want to go read it, feel free. But that's the general basic… things that seem to be true in every version of the story. She is credited with defeating the evil water god who is depicted as a black dragon and is named Gonggong, which… I love that name too, like I love the double syllable situation. It's like you could call a pet that, but I guess not since he's an evil water god, maybe it's not good luck to name your pet after him. And Gonggong he’d ripped a hole in the sky when he was battling another god– it was the fire god, so the water and fire god were like [fighting noises] you know? That was not good podcast audio, but they were going at it, him and the fire god. Alana: How am I supposed to transcribe that? Lexi: Ahhh noise! Kelsie: Throw in some vowels and some Hs. Lexi: They were going at it. And they were fighting. And Gonggong ripped down one of the pillars, which is a mountain. He ripped it down, and the sky got a big hole in it. This is a big problem because the sky protected the people from like crazy weather phenomena, so like rain, tsunami, crazy kind of like… crazy crap was happening in the sky. And so she repaired the hole and saved the humans because she loved them because they were her creation, and versions of the story also differ, with one suggesting that she died of exhaustion because she was so tired because she had like held up the sky and put it back together. But she saved humankind, so it was like her last great feat. And another version suggests that she could not repair the sky with just the material she had, so she herself became stone and put the sky back together. So there’s either the version of her dying of exhaustion or her actually becoming the material to repair the sky. Either way, this is her final story so she sacrifices herself to save humankind from Gonggong's mistake. Kelsie: Wait, so with the second version where she is repairing the sky herself is there like an astrological sort of connection to her then? Is there like a constellation representing her? Lexi: That's a good question. No source I read specifically dictated that. Particularly I think because she tends to be associated with the day, but I am unsure. There might be a constellation related to her. She's technically the goddess of marriage and fertility. Chinese religion has really changed over time, but despite that, Nüwa has remained an important figure to many people in China. There are many temples and shrines that are dedicated to her and preserved in her honor, including one that is seen as the ancestral shrine of all humanity, so she's very central in like the identity structure of China. And some women in China today pray to Nüwa for assistance in issues of fertility or marriage, so like if you want a husband you're supposed to go and be like “Nüwa! Give me a man!” and if you want to have a baby, you're supposed to go to Nüwa and be like “Nüwa! Birth me a son!” and so on and so forth. In addition to her role in religion, she also features prominently in pop culture in China and other parts of Asia. She has been a character in three video games, so you can go play Nüwa. I don't know exactly how these video games work, I have not played them. But if that's your jam, Google it. And in numerous television shows and films, there's films that depict all the different stories surrounding her and other deities so she factors into those stories too, and there have been film adaptations specifically of the sky fixing story. And on Earth Day in 2012, a statue of Nüwa created by a Chinese professor was revealed in Time Square as a representation of the importance of protecting the ozone layer because the theme of that year's Earth Day was the ozone layer. And so the ozone layer protects humans and is similar to the sky and Nüwa in her stories… so the statue is of her holding up a piece of the sky… Nüwa holding a piece of the sky… and she's holding that up and that represents the ozone layer and the fact that we need to keep the ozone layer safe, so as you would give to Nüwa and worship Nüwa you should worship and protect the ozone layer… so on and so forth. Very very cool. And the statue was later moved to Vienna and I've included in the further reading the transcript of the speech that was given when the statue was installed in Vienna which is now where it lives forever, so it's really interesting if you're into that kind of thing. And also I will include a link to the Google Arts and Culture page that describes the statue and you can learn more about the statue and what it's made of if you like that kind of thing and what it looks like. Haley: I was having like a mental identity crisis with who I was gonna pick, and I was on TikTok, of course, scrolling through like just for inspiration. And I came on for my like For You Page. I think that's what it's called, the youths call it, a fun story about Danu and Tuatha Dé Danann. I really… Okay, so this is Irish mythology that we're doing a deep dive into, and I asked Robert how to pronounce these, and of course I forgot. So in Irish mythology, Danu, meaning the flowing one or the divine one who brings all things into being, is associated with both masculine and feminine things which is like right on. However, every time I pick– like, I couldn't decipher like, discern whether she was representation– like if you looked at her while she had her pronouns, or assuming from scholars now she/her pronouns, if she would represent both masculine and feminine or if she is just associated with because she's the divine one who brings all things into being. Because when you look at her it's– I put a lot in the further reading but I used a lot of YouTube videos of the people who are like kinda amateur experts in this… certainly not myself. And a lot of the representation that they put up were very feminine goddess like. Like very nature-esque, flowing long hair, flowing skirts and dresses, or sometimes like a warrior but really like honing in on that feminine side. And that's just my tangent. So she is also like the earth goddess of fertility and growth, abundance, agriculture, as well as intellect, change, and wisdom– and a whole host of others. She just does it all, apparently. She's also like the hypothetical mother goddess of the Tuatha Dé Danann which is what I'm also going to talk about. But before that, because this group of people, the Tuatha Dé Danann, which is Old Irish for the people of the goddess of Danu and the anai– the A. N. A. I. within the name means wealth and that's kind of strange because this… when I'm reading Danu is D. A. N. U. and that’s not found in any like medieval Irish text which was kind of like a point in time where people were like okay it's not in this period and afterwards type of situation. That goes for a lot of her myths and legends. And if you let me nerd out for a sec, let's go into some etymology of the name Danu. Scholars believe that the name Danu is the nominative form and the genitive form is Danann, spelled as like D. A. N. A. N. N. or D. O. N. A. N. D. or D. A. N. A. N. D., which is seen in the primary sources, that’s also how the name Tuatha Dé Danann is spelled. It's the D. A. N. A. N. N., the genitive form of Danu. Again, with these people, they are the people of the goddess of Danu. And this is the story that I'm actually gonna focus on because spoiler it's great and it's also one of the most well known sources, just if you like do a Google search this is the one that keeps popping up with her. And it's about how… basically Ireland was kind of populated. So opening our book to a short story, while there are a bunch of little stories like within this one story, I'm kind of like lumping it all up. And in Irish mythology Tuatha Dé Danann were the first people or tribe in Ireland. Since they're supernatural and they're not necessarily human but they are human, the way they arrived to Ireland was like via dark clouds and mist which also gets strange because they landed on Connacht. Am I saying that right, Alana? Alana: Connacht. Haley: Connacht. Alana: C. O. N. N. A. C. H. T.? Haley: Yes! Yes ma’am. Alana: Connacht. Yeah Haley: Which is on the west side of Ireland. And this is where– Alana: It's– throwback to episode two, that is around where Gráinne Ní Máille was born and lived and did her pirate-y thing. Haley: Exactly. So this is like why it gets weird, why I say it's like they arrived via dark clouds and mist because they also had boats. So when I was first reading this, I was expecting like people coming out of like dark mist and clouds because clouds are in the sky! But I think now like boats come along with it, so there might be spaceship boats or like water boats. But– Alana: Like in Treasure Planet. Haley: Exactly! That’s what I was thinking. Lexi: Ancient Aliens? The aliens brought boats down and created the Irish people? Haley: NO. Alana: No no no no. Treasure Planet. Treasure Planet is the analogy that we are going with, Treasure Planet. Haley: Yes. And when they arrived, they supposedly burned the boats, hence forcing them to settle in the land they like docked. Which made little to no sense-tentacles, because you literally like, again, rode in like a cloud of mist. And also I want to know when they settled, and they were like “okay, we have food, water, shelter. Let's burn them boats.” And that's fine, that's a great tradition, I'm not like saying for the tradition. But what if, like, if it was immediate, how did you know that was like a suitable habitat? Because like wouldn't you say “oh, we don't have like one of the three basic needs, four, five basic needs that we need, let's get back on our boats and travel around.” These are also supernatural beings and I'm just overanalyzing mythology. That's what I do. Also once they were settled, so like post-burning boats, I guess… It was said that they stayed there for centuries. And for the archaeologists and all of us here part of the myth that is the ring forts, are also called like the fairy forts… Alana is making a face. And that's because that– Alana: I dug a ring fort! Haley: Connection to you and Susan. Probably Susan, why I know this story. So– Alana: This is the Susan Johnston appreciation episode part two. Haley: I actually have a book that she gave me right next to me on my desk, I have with my library background. Anywho, the fairy forts are like often called fairy forts because the Tuatha Dé Danann used them as portals to another like world. And side note, if a human were to happen across the portal they would be forced to dance until they went mad. Honestly, that’s just like… I read that and it was also kind of like– Lexi: What a way to go. Haley: Exactly. Kelsie: It wouldn't take very long for me, like you know twenty minutes I'm gone. Haley: I know! I was like I can dance through like one album of ABBA but like if we get into an album of the Beatles I might like cease to exist. Alana: (Gagging noise) I hate the Beatles. Famously I hate the Beatles. Haley: Rude. And then she is on a podcast with like one of the best Beatles lovers ever. Lexi, right there and then I’m like a– Alana: I hate the Beatles. I think they're overrated. I think it's just like mediocre white men getting more credit than they deserve. Lexi: Well, Sergeant Pepper takes your note and kindly throws it out.The bird. Haley: He took a nice poop on it. Alana: That's fine. Whatever. Haley: Okay so back to my story, because it’s about me right now. We all went mad. And then lastly, this is my last note, so when the Celts invaded, the legend goes that they all turned themselves into fairies, hence, fairy forts! And then they keep watch over the land. That's them. That's Danu. Kelsie: What's the– I don't know if you know this, and maybe I… maybe there’s not an answer, but what's the significance of… between fairies and circles around things? Like when I think of like– like I know about ring forts, I didn't realize there was a connection to fairy forts. But then like winding up like fairies and circles like… Haley: Yeah. Kelsie: Mushrooms, like that’s also a circle-y thing on the ground. Is that a bigger thing? Haley: So, the circle is like the portal, and the reason why it's called fairies is that the legend says they turned into fairies. So it's like fairy forts, that’s their fort. Kelsie: That makes sense. Haley: That's the most I can tell you. I'm sure there's more. There are a lot of YouTubers out there. Lexi: Also, circles is magic. Alana: I'm talking about Persephone the Greek theological figure, ancient Greek. I identify with her very strongly because I also contain multitudes. There is a poem by Nichole McElhaney who is the author of A Sisterhood of Thorns and Vengeance, a book that apparently just like does not exist, because I cannot find it in print anywhere. But the poem goes “Do not worry about your contradictions - Persephone is both floral maiden and queen of death. You, too, can be both.” And I love that. But apparently like the book doesn't exist Nichole McElhaney has a couple of other poetry books with really interesting cool names similar to A Sisterhood of Thorns and Vengeance. She is also known as Proserpina in Rome, and also known as Kora or Kore, which means maiden. And she becomes Persephone when she is like queen of the underworld which we will get to… the stuff that you might know… because of the Percy Jackson series. So in Homer's Hymn to Demeter… Homer's Hymn to Demeter is kind of the primary source we have for the story of Persephone being taken to the underworld. Homer describes her as slim-ankled, which my friend Kay, shout out Kay, who I brought up earlier, we tried to make a religion together, they are an expert in classical literature and they said that that probably meant like a graceful or delicate or something along those lines. So the story is Hades saw her in a field, abducted her, and took her to the underworld and like made her his queen and something about pomegranate seeds, that he forced her only one in Homer’s hymn. It’s only like one seed. You hear it like three or six other places, but in Homer it's just one. Here's what you might not know about that myth, according to Homer. Hades had Zeus’s permission to do this, but not Demeter’s, who is Persephone’s mother. And Demeter goes searching all over like the whole world for Persephone, and everyone saw what happened– like the sun god saw what happened and was like yeah we're not gonna help you because like basically they said she could do a lot worse as far as a husband goes. She's like queen of the underworld right now. I think like that's a pretty good deal… you know Hades isn't going cheating on his wife like someone we know. Zeus. But according to Homer, one pomegranate seed meant three months in the underworld. Anyway Persephone– this is a really short story I'm sorry– Persephone. She is part of the agrarian triad which is a group of three agricultural slash harvest deities with Demeter and a god called Triptolemus. Kelsie: Lexi would call this an agricultural throuple. Alana: That's an excellent point. I don't think there is any evidence for that but I do like the idea of it being a throuple. So Persephone as queen of the underworld kind of gives a more pleasant face to the concept of death and the afterlife, so it kind of like helps Hades’s reputation and there's not as much stigma about it because yeah you're dying but look the goddess of spring is also queen of the underworld, so that's pretty cool. Now I'm going to cede the rest of my time to modern reinterpretations that are all written by women or some other marginalized group. The only one whose like gender I don't know is married to a man and cis straight men don't marry other men by definition, so this person is marginalized in some other way. I don't know if they know that, but it's really cool story. So first of all, Hadestown. Wow. Anais Mitchell. It's beautiful. It's jazzy. It's so much fun. It's Hades and Persephone but they've like fallen out of love after so long and also the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice is in there. I want a live recording of it– it's a Broadway show– I want a live recording of it the way that Hamilton has been. I think that is what we deserve. There is also a couple of webcomics, the first one is Punderworld, which has a very– why are you shaking your head Kelsie? Kelsie: It’s such a bad pun and it has pun in the word! Alana: It’s a bad pun and it has pun in the word. It's a very realistic art style, there are not a ton of episodes, one of them made the rounds on tumblr while ago if you were still there. And it takes place in a more realistic like ancient Greek Olympian kind of setting. Links to the webcomics by the way will be in further learning which is what I've been calling it lately because it's not always reading. The other one is called Lore Olympus. There are a lot of episodes of this one. It is more whimsical but also somehow grittier? Like all the characters are kind of color-coded. Athena has a very androgynous, ace, butch lesbian vibe like someone else in the Zoom right now. So it’s like Olympus is a modern city, but the mortal realm is still in ancient Greece. It's really cool, I was up until five AM last night reading it because I just like gave up and was like I just have to read this. Shout out to my friend Em who told me about those webcomics. Also Madeline Miller, who wrote Circe which was an incredible book and Song of Achilles which I haven't read yet, wrote a really cool piece about Persephone several years ago that basically ends with if Madeline Miller were Persephone we would always have winter because she loves pomegranates so much and that is a mood. Lexi: I love that you brought up Percy Jackson because it always bothers me but there are so many cool modern literary takes on a lot of these things but that's the one that had to get famous? Haley: I'm rereading and I finished the Percy Jackson series, forgot how much like I invested myself into it. I think I only read like the first book and like half of the second because I don't remember the third, fourth, fifth but I have the next series which is like… Alana: The Heroes of Olympus or something? And it’s the Roman? Haley: Maybe. I think that's the next one. Alana: I read the first four Percy Jackson books in a weekend, and I would have read the fifth one in a weekend but it was not out yet. Lexi: I was a fan of them as a child. Alana: I was in like fourth grade. Lexi: Yeah probably fourth grade. But my mom decided I was still a fan of them and for my twenty third birthday I asked for a single ticket to go see Hamilton by myself, but for the same price my mother bought four tickets to see Percy Jackson the Musical. Picture this– Haley: Wait, where was it first? Lexi: It was on Broadway. I mean a real Broadway– Haley: They had Broadway? Lexi: Yes. Picture a thirty two year old gay twink dancing around the stage pretending to be a twelve year old boy. Alana: That just sounds like the Percy Jackson Lightning Thief movie. Lexi: Yes. Alana: But with singing. Haley: To be fair Logan Lehrman because I– Alana: Oh, Logan Lehrman is incredible. Lexi: Also, I won't spoil the musical, the musical's gone now it doesn't run anymore, but in case they ever do another iteration and people want to see I won’t completely spoil it. But it is written where there's only a cast of eight people but all the characters are covered by those eight people, and so there are some weird interesting things where that really take you out of the story because like they have to do double duty as characters and all they do to change is like throw on a jacket. Haley: Is it just the first book? Lexi: Yes and no like how the movie was the first book, but like not. You know I mean? Haley: Yeah. Lexi: It's not a truthful direct adaptation. The songs were like “when your dad’s a god, your dad's a god. The one other thing I want to say about it is my brother and I had both for the books as kids and were like okay we'll go see this as like a family thing, whatever. During the intermission, a girl behind us who was probably maybe fourteen or fifteen would not shut up about Percy Jackson to her family and my brother leaned in and was like if we’d come here seven years ago that would have been you. And I mean probably. But to that team who put that on. Lexi: You can find this podcast on Twitter and Instagram at LadyHistoryPod. Our show notes and a transcript of this episode will be on ladyhistorypod dot tumblr dot com. If you like the show, leave us a review, or tell your friends, and if you don't like the show, keep it to yourself. Alana: Our logo is by Alexia Ibarra you can find her on Twitter and Instagram at LexiBDraws. Our theme music is by me, GarageBand, and Amelia Earhart. Lexi is doing the editing. You will not see us, and we will not see you, but you will hear us, next time, on Lady History. Haley: Next week on Lady History, she’s going to blind us with some science. We're doing a deep dive into the women of twentieth century science. Haley: We good. Alana: Amazing.

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kinkymagnus · 5 years ago

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Twi YouTube AU?? 👀

dlgjk ok i dont have a coherent au idea i just like the idea of like.

alec being this confident youtuber man who does all sorts of shit, like funny vlogs and maybe some sketches with his siblings or some lets plays or something, idk, he’s just a popular youtuber like, idk, fuckin markiplier or something, you know, kinda does a lot of stuff. maybe some fashion/interior design shit? idk? but like. he’s pretty popular and if there’s any list on tumblr that’s like “some queer creators you should try watching” he’s always up there because he’s pretty open about being gay. maybe at first he wasn’t in the earlier youtube days but he had a pretty emotional coming out video and everyone was like “holy shit”

meanwhile magnus is like, a quietly popular youtuber, you know? kind of a niche audience, but with decent numbers. he does a lot of things, like vlogs about being trans. like, oh my god. magnus documenting his transition? would that even be a thing? wait oh my god is this mundane au, or is this canon? because twi magnus who’s actually a warlock with a youtube channel would be hilarious but maybe not a good idea. you know what? how about a mix. he’s mortal and was born in modern times and all, he’s like the same age as alec–idk why but i’m thinking he’s like a few weeks older or a month or two older than alec and alec jokingly teases him about being old–but he like…. still has magic, because why the fuck not. actually, you know what? fuck it? it’s an au where magic is just openly a thing. not even necessarily canonverse magic, just. some people have magic. magnus does little tutorials and shit, he has a real talent for it and he’s actually really powerful but he hides that. (possible plotline: some paparazzi discover he’s like, a level ten mage, and it’s a scale from 1-10 and 8 is the most powerful u get most of the time, there’s been a few really famous 9s and there’s been one 10 ever and that was fucking merlin. you feel. because why not. idek fuck.) anyway he has little diy make your own magical charms and weaving enchantment and safe summoning circles and tips for writing magical contracts and shit like that. he’s this cute little nerd but he’s like incredibly knowledgeable and he knows how to teach it in a way that’s understandable and accessible? and he answers questions in really clear ways, and he does amazing demonstrations that look so cool people accuse him of editing but he’s just That Good. and he’s like, actually a really well-published wizard/magic scientist, he invented the fucking portal, but probably under a pseudonym because he doesn’t really want the attention. (his last name is fell in honor of his mentor. yes. although if he does multiple ones he may or may not also use loss, santiago, rollins, etc.) anyway he’s just so fucking good, he has all these videos explaining magical theory in pretty easy to understand ways (maybe going from really simple to like “i understand the basics here and am ready for the technical terms but need an overview” videos you know.

also he doesn’t just do magic videos, because i said so. also maybe some blogs, and like. because i want to. some fashion/makeup tips. and it’s weirdly endearing because it’s not something you’d expect since he doesn’t wear makeup that often–although a) there are def gifsets of his full makeup looks on tumblr, and b) when he does occasionally decide to wear lipstick or eyeshadow or whatever, most of his fans are like omg yes!! u look cute! also headcanon: twi magnus wears less makeup in general but he still indulges in nail polish. mostly dark/muted colors on his fingers, but bright silly colors on his toes. NAYWAYWYA

also magnus bane is his chosen name because he wanted something cool and wizardy sounding and undeniably masculine.

also he’s so fucking sweet like look his videos are pretty popular because they’re just handy but he’s not exactly like, a super popular celebrity or anything, you know? but when he does meet fans he’s so incredibly sweet and he does selfies and he’s very appreciative of his followers? he’s so genuine?

and alec is way more popular–not that he’s not kind and appreciative of his followers. it’s just the thing is, magnus and alec are totally opposite sides of youtube. alec is friendly charismatic completely non-magical youtuber, he plays video games with his sister and like, does vlogs and reaction videos and shit you know. magnus is out here with educational tutorials and excited rambles about magical theory. (i feel like sometimes he accidentally starts doing groundbreaking research for a video and forgets to like, publish it first, and people are like wait what the fuck holy shit)

but then they fucking meet.

and a) they’re Instantly smitten. b) this will eventually result in the weirdest collab ever.

like NO ONE would expect magnus bane, tarot reader and tutorial on magic diy and shit, occasionally does makeup videos and little vlogs and talks about Issues sometimes, to collab with typical hot vlogger gamer man alec lightwood. but it happens, and somehow it’s the best fucking thing ever.

i’m not sure how their channels collide. maybe alec plays a game involving magic and magnus talks about all the ways it’s right/wrong but it ends up just being bantering and giggling and magnus may or may not end up leaning into him on the couch their sitting on and giggling as he makes a stupid joke with the character in the game and immediately everyone’s like…… we ship it

not that i support irl shipping but u know how it goes, everyones like “damn they’re cute” and they’re both openly queer so there’s that. i mean, still not cool, but you know

but really tho they keep doing collabs after that and become actual friends and both start kind of….. doing things for each other’s channel? magnus does a thing like “interview with someone who knows nothing about magic” and we just see a total mundane take on magic and honestly it’s really interesting for both of them, we have more “magnus, who’s an Old Soul and despite having a youtube channel is actually not that great with technology, raphael does all the editing, tries to play video games and kinda fails at it but he gets the hang of some of them”?? he likes puzzle games and mariokart, he does NOT like super smash bros because “THE CHARACTER NEVER DOES WHAT I WANT IT TO ALEXANDER” “you’re just jealous bc i beat ur ass” “you wanna play mariokart again, lightwood?!”

magnus does a tarot reading for alec, alec does a vlog with him just like “day in the life of alec lol :P” and there’s moments where he just comes up behind magnus like “hey what’s up” and magnus, who’s in rumpled home clothing, sees the camera and chuckles and kinda half heartedly waves it away, and the audience loses their mind at how cute he looks lkdhjgfh

they just become actual good friends, you know? it’s weird bc you wouldn’t think it would work but it really, really does

also on of alec’s fans at some point tries to make a transphobic crack at magnus during a livestream and alec goes OFF on his ass and it’s trending for the next week, the clip goes viral, it’s like “HIMBO GOES OFF ON HATERS FOR BEING TRANSPHOBIC TO HIS FRIEND/POSSIBLE LOVER?” and alec apologizes to magnus for all the attention it brought them but magnus is like “it’s okay, we can use this” and they end up using the hype to do one of those charity livestreams youtubers do and all the proceeds go to something like mermaids or the trevor project, you feel? they’re like “suck it transphobes look at all this money you got trans ppl” khjfgh

ok but eventually they do get together, not on camera, and while it’s slow at first and kind of secret (from the internet, not from friends and family) they’re also not super subtle. they know they’re not, but they’re just sort of like “it’s no one’s business, we’ll announce it when we’re ready”

and honestly tho they love each other so much

also i’ve just decided it’s not uncommon for strong magic-users, even like, level 4 or 5 and up, to have marks, so while his cat eyes are usually glamoured maybe he showed them after a q&a or in a vlog or something? and there are like. lots of gifsets of this, okay, and like, lots of thirst comments. which are like, this weird mix of slightly uncomfortable, really flattering/validating, and embarrassing (in a good and bad way). anyway, magnus has cat eyes in this au, because i fucking said so.

ANYWAY back to their relationship, they’re in love

how did they meet? maybe at a con they bumped into each other, or a totally random fan was like “y’all should do a collab” and everyone was like “what”

or maybe a mutual friend and fellow youtuber, meliorn, who is a nonbinary youtuber who fucking has a sword don’t question me, introduces them?

idk. but when they meet they hit it off instantly and flirt and end up getting coffee and they don’t date for a while (maybe mutual pining/misunderstandings like “oh he doesn’t like me like that, but it’s okay, we can still be friends :)” or something lkfgjhfgh) but eventually they end up getting together

how? no idea. let me think about it.

idk why but im thinking they’re filming at magnus’s apartment and they’re on his couch and just. late night. they’ve finished up filming but they’re still bantering and maybe playing some video game like mariokart or watching a movie together and just. magnus is leaned all the way into alec, just snuggled up and pressed close against him, alec ends up putting an arm around him, and alec cracks a joke or teases him and magnus sits up a bit to like, poke his chest or flick his nose (you know what i mean? like in an otp person a shifts, still kinda sitting in their lap, and is like [playfully hits shoulder or boops nose or something] and now they’re making eye contact and person b ends up pulling them into a soft kiss???) anyway THEY MAKE EYE CONTACT AND ALEC PULLS HIM INTO A SOFT KISS and alec almost pulls away when he realizes what he’s done but magnus makes this soft little happy noise and leans into him, kissing back, and they just end up kissing for a bit and when they break apart alec is just looking up at him with breathless wonder and magnus is looking down at him with that same soft reverence and alec blurts out something like “you’re magical” and magnus just loses it and he’s giggling and leaning against alec’s chest and alec starts laughing too and magnus can feel the vibrations in his chest and it’s just so nice and pleasant and wonderful and they may or may not end up making out

they have to talk about it in the morning when they end up falling asleep together in magnus’s bed, cuddled close, but they find, to both of their delights, they both want to date and be in a serious relationship and it’s so fucking good ok

they go to dinner and the transition from friendship to romance is a little awkward but so worth it, especially when they realize HEY IT’S BOTH YOU DONT STOP BEING FRIENDS WHEN YOU DATE. i mean like, they didn’t not know that, but it’s like, idk how to explain you know they’re kinda like “are we doing this right” and then they’re like “fuck doing it right we can keep cuddling on the couch and giggling and bantering over stupid shit and watching dumb movies and kicking each others asses in video games it doesn’t matter we just also kiss and have dinner more often and sleep together and also we may or may not be in love”

also they’re That Couple. they’re like straight to the honeymoon, they’re domestic from the first week. magnus is casually doing magic around the house (imagine: he just dyes his hair on a whim and grows it out a little bit and alec is like “i love u no matter how u style ur hair and stuff, and like, ur usual look is so fuckin cute and handsome, but also I Love This.”) but like he’s like (casually summons small ball of light to read book at night) (casually makes alec little protective charms–side note alec def makes him some of these too, but he asks magnus’s old mentor, ragnor, and two of his friends that can do magic, catarina and dot, to enchant it, since he can’t himself, and having magic woven by people who care about him will make it stronger. oh mhyhogfd) and just like. magic used to be something he mostly kept to himself (this def has something to do with his parents–his mom, who he thinks killed herself because of his eyes/magic, his birth dad who’s a powerful sorcerer–level 9, actually, and they think magnus is level 8 for a long time–who was an abusive fuckstick) and then he started doing youtube and it was a kinda show, a gift, something to share, but still not really something he just used openly in front of people he cared about (other than his close friends, since most of them do magic too anyway) but with alec it’s so easy to do that casually?? it’s so easy to just feel comfortable and safe????? yes

anyway they do eventually “come out” as boyfriends, maybe something short and sweet like just. a tweet of magnus sleeping curled up on alec’s chest and he’s like “god i love my boyfriend

they were already not subtle but now that they’re not hiding it they’re so fucking blatantly in love tbh. they do one of those boyfriend tag videos and it’s fucking adorable, at high request they do some couples games kind of videos, like the newlywed game and fuck marry kill (mostly on alec’s channel but magnus has a few, too) and it’s just HIGH QUALITY FUCKING CONTENT

also originally i was just thinking something along the lines of “in canon verse, twi alec is instagram famous/famous on social media and he gets cute tarot boyfriend and is like look at my cute boyfriend and then magnus’s small insta account mostly for his business gets a fuck ton of new followers and alec’s gets a considerable amount too” and now i’m imagining everyone from their respective audiences first thirst-following the other, then actually getting invested

but really tho they’re the internet’s hottest couple for a while it’s great

for some reason i’m picturing them doing a live tour now, with like, accessible tickets and magnus does magic live on stage and idek what else they’d do tbh but it’d be fun as fuck

anyway this au got away from me

me: i dont have any real coherent ideas

also me: [vomits a 2,500+ word ESSAY]

#malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #shadowhunters #twi #twi malec #trans magnus #long post #youtube au

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angstalottle · 5 years ago

Text

Lana On The Case

Part 3

Lana knew she shouldn’t have been expecting much, especially after spending the last week lying in bed stewing in her own filth and misery.

That didn’t change the fact that her current appearance still shocked her.

Her skin had gained an ashen quality about it and dark circles under her eyes.

She was sure is Red hadn’t practically force fed her she was have lost much more weight then she already had.

She felt drained and heavy, like her life was sucked out from her when Hannah left her…

Keith showing up had given her a small glimmer of excitement perhaps even hope but as soon as he was gone and she was left alone to her thoughts they turned right back to the fact that her best friend was gone from her life forever.

That thought hurt even more than knowing her sweet wonderful Hannah killed people.

Job offer or not Lana likely would have spent the rest of her life lying in her bed if her aunties hadn’t decided to do something about it.

One moment she's dozing staring into space, the next Blue has pulled her covers away while Re dumped a bucket of warm soapy water over her.

The two manhandled her out of bed and into some clean clothes before giving her two options.

One was to stay cooped up inside and suffer through them inviting every nosey friend they could think of over to omard her with questions and pinched cheeks followed by of course the dreaded relationship advice that everyone over a certain age believed they knew.

Or go down to the police station and actually do something with her life/

Though neither option was particularly fun in the end Lana chose to go out mainly because Red had also made a swinging joke which of course practically sent her bolting through the door.

The police station like everything else in the village was only a short walk away from the Altea estate, you could get pretty much anywhere by cutting through the large gardens that have unfortunately fallen into a state of disrepair.

The lady of the manor had died when Lana was away and since then the place hadn’t been the same, like some of the beauty of the world left when she did.

As far as she knew the only daughter of the family Allura was away for school or something while her father worked in London.

Lana had fond memories of Allura, being a few years younger then the girl and quite a bit poorer, she always seemed like this fairy princess that could have anything or do anything.

Looks like not even princesses could escape tragedy.

Lana hiked up her skirt as she climbed over the thick mess of weeds and flowers careful not to disturb anything as she passed through.

Even if everyone took the shortcut it was an unsaid rule that you were not to disturb the gardens or ever go close to the house.

Of course when Lance got her foot caught in a bramble and fell face first into the ground she broke that rule by flattening at least a dozen flowers beneath her.

“Oh dear are you alright?” A woman wearing a veil and long white gloves asked as she hurried over from the main house.

Odd appearance aside what really caught Lana’s attention was her snow white hair. A characteristic that was common amongst the Altean family.

Going off her build she could have been anywhere between 20-30 but without the face or hands it really was impossible to tell.

Lana felt her cheeks burn as she pulled herself up and dusted herself down frowning at the rip that now worked its way up her blue skirt.

The woman put her hands on her dress and examined the rip tutting softly “we really must get the gardener back in this place really has fallen to ruin.”

Now that she was closer Lana could smell the sweet scent of roses coming off her in such a large volume it would almost be suffocating if they weren't outside.

“Do you work here?” Lana asked trying to swallow her embarrassment while this strange woman kept hold of her skirt.

One strong breeze and she would see next weeks washing.

The woman chuckled “not exactly. I used to live here I never actually planned on returning but in light of my father's disappearance I suppose I didn’t have much choice.”

Lana couldn’t help but flinch, since what Hannah did came to light any case of men running off in the middle of the night or simply not returning after a day out is now considered suspect.

Their still digging up all the bodies and people have been flocking from all over in search of their missing husbands, fathers and brothers.

Lana then realised something very important.

Mainly that if Alfor was missing and this woman was his daughter then it must have been Allura!

“Allura?”

Lana couldn’t see her face but she imagined a smile on those pretty pink painted lips she used to know very well.

“That’s me, im sorry but who are you?”

Lana had her suspicions of course that this was all a scam, someone swooping in to steal the Altean family fortune, but she wasn’t really in the mood for any other mysteries right now.

That and according to Keith she was pretty forgettable.

“Oh im Lana… I used to play with you in the garden as a kid.”

“Oh my i'm so sorry Lana, im afraid my memory hasn’t been that good since the accident. She gestured to her veil and gloves “I got caught up in the Blitz and i'm afraid my appearance paid a higher price then by mind.”

Lana felt guilt crawl into her stomach, well at least she didn’t outright accuse her of being a con artist. Besides Coran was a dear friend of the family, there's no way someone would be able to just take over Allura’s life without him noticing.

“Im sorry, I didn’t realise.”

Allura waved her off finally letting go of her skirt “don’t worry about it, ive made my peace with my situation, it is a tad lonely though, people aren't exactly eager to visit the manor these days.” She sounded so sincerely sad that Lana couldn’t help but feel for her.

She knew what it was like to lose everything because of a situation out of her control, the war had stolen many things from them, Lana was lucky to keep her beauty at least.

“Well then I suppose I have no choice but to come round for tea, I would invite you to my aunts cottage but they tend to get too excited around anyone they used to know.”

Lana gave her the best smile she could manage and was rewarded by Allura taking her hands and kissing them.

Once again her face turned an interesting shade of red.

“That sounds simply wonderful Lana, how about Thursday at 8 o'clock?”

Lana had lost her ability to form words so simply nodded earning her a small chuckle in response.

“I don’t want to keep you if your busy so ill just see you Thursday?” Allura asked startling Lana out of her stupor.

“Yes I should go, but i'll erm see you then I promise.”

Lana stuttered deciding it was best to continue on her way before she made an even bigger fool of herself so mustered up what grace she had to give an awkward curtsy realising that was dumb halfway through and instead turned and hurried on her way hitting herself muttering “stupid stupid stupid” over and over again until she finally arrived at the police station.

As expected of a small town the police station was fairly quiet this time of day home only to the drunks that were picked up the night before and only now being released to go back to their family or in some cases the church.

Of course one would expect it to be much busier with the number of bodies being dug up but unfortunately since Hannah left and it became national news the investigation had been taken over by some fancy out of state law enforcement that walk around in nice suits and a stuck up attitude to match their overall pompous appearance.

Going off the sour atmosphere in the station no one was too pleased to have the villages first ever big case stolen from under them.

Lana did her best to smile politely as she made her way to reception preparing herself for awkward small talk with someone she really hoped wouldn't recognise her.

“Hello im here-”

“If you got a crime to report fill out the form if not get lost.”

The woman behind the desk looked too young to be working, her slight frame and big doe eyes making her seem like she couldn't be much older than 15 but then again looks can be deceiving. Like the fact that despite wearing big round glasses and squinting at a book in front of her the glass within the frame appeared to be purely decorative and not actually serve any function.

Lana cleared her throat “no actually i'm here about the job. Im expected.”

This time she at least bothered to look up from her book and glanced Lana up and down “what they replacing me with some tramp, i've worked here ten years and they bring in some totty to take my job”

Lana quickly held up her hands feeling actually pretty threatened by this tiny angry lady “no! No i'm the new consultant im supposed to be working with Keith and-”

“Oi Keith! Some broad here says shes your new partner!” She yelled and just like that, all eyes were on her.

Lana smiled awkwardly at them really wishing a hole would appear beneath her and swallow her up whole so she could escape this situation.

However the only thing the universe sent her was a very flustered keith running in from the back.

He was carrying a stack of papers and had that god awful mullet tied back in a ponytail that honestly didn't look half bad on him.

“Thanks Katie i can take her from here.” Keith dropped the papers on her desk “Also Griffin needs you to file these for him.”

“He could do it himself” Katie grumbled grabbing the papers and flicking through them “he didn't even bother filling some of these out!”

Keith quietly grabbed Lana’s arm and pulled her towards him as Katie got distracted with her angry mutterings “Sorry about her, she's just pissed that her dad lost his job to a hot shot whos dad just happens to be a governor.”

“Ah where would be be without nepotism” Lana chuckled letting Keith led her back into a small office where five other people were sat. She assumed the cells were behind one of the closed doors and perhaps the archive room behind another.

It had been a long time since she had been back here, it was certainly before the war was even a possibility and she had broken the wrong persons window and ended up having to wait for her mother by Corans desk.

People tend to say that places from your youth always seem so much smaller when you visit them again. Until now Lana wasn't really sure she bought into that nostalgia fueled nonsense.

But seeing the row of chairs her feet used to dangel off while she prepared an excuse for her behaviour for her furious mother now looked like they would fall apart if she just got too close let alone sat on one.

At least not all the changes were bad. Coran really did deserve that nice office and the title Detective neatly painted above his name.

“You know I was starting to think you wouldn't be coming” Keith said as they came to what Lana assumed was his desk. It was a little away from the others and scattered with paper work in various states of finished. It lacked much personality beyond a couple of knives and oh boy keith standing next to an incredibly attractive man that Lana realised fairly quickly must have been his older brother.

“To be honest i wasn't sure either, my life kinda went to hell but Aunt Blue and Red practically shoved me out of the door.”

Keith chuckled in response as her perched on the edge of his desk ��that sounds about right. Though I hate to say it but you've kind of come on boring day. Everyones so desperate for something to do that their even taking the grunt work from me.”

“So what your just sitting around all day?” Lana asked right as a hand collided with her behind.

Lana likes to think herself an understanding woman. Or at least she tries to ever since the instadent where what she thought was a gropper on a train turned out to be a blind man having dropped his cain. So rather then turning around and grabbing the arm of whoever just did that to break over her knee she calmly turned to them.

She came face to face with a tall man that she unfortunately recognised.

James Griffin top of the class when they went to school together and by far the most arrogant man she ever met. And that was before he got a cushy job thanks to his dad.

Lana glared up at him giving him a chance to apologize or say he had mistaken her for his girlfriend that was into that kind of thing.

Instead he just smirked “wow Keith how did you find yourself this hot piece of ass.”

Ok she was going to break his nose now.

Unfortunately before she got the chance keith stepped in front of her “don't talk to her like that Griffin, Coran hired her himself as a consultant and i'm sure he wouldn't take that kind of behaviour.’

James rolled his eyes but did visibly tense as he shot a glance at the closed office door. “Whatever. This whole thing is just for press, whoever heard of a woman police officer. Their far too emotional.”

“Last I checked you were the one that cried when i kicked you in the nuts as kids.” Lana huffed crossing her arms.

“Ah buck teeth Lana! My my you did fill out nicely. How about after work I take you out?” Jame smiled looking her up and down in a way that made her skin crawl.

“How about I tell your mother that you slap my ass, if i remember right she was a reasonable woman.”

Oh how quickly his attitude changed. He swallowed whatever response he had ready and scurried off to his office next to Corans.

“What a creep.”

“Yeah but a rich one.” Keith sighed “you ok?”

“Yeah just kinda pissed i didn't get to make that jerk squeal like in highschool.” Lana noticed a small smirk appear at the corner of keiths lips at that and decided to take it as a win even if she could still feel his disgusting hand on her.

Unfortunately the next few hours were not as exciting.

Lana pulled up a chair across from Keith and kept herself busy by flicking pieces of paper at him, an activity that he avoided joining in with for exactly ten minutes.

They were so wrapped up in their game that they didn't notice coran standing next to the desk until after Keith made the winning shot and jumped up to let out a victory cry.

“It's nice to see you've found a way to keep miss Mclain here entertained during our slow day.” Coran chuckled as Keith startled and quickly cleared his throat trying to hide the blush quickly creeping up his face.

“Detective i can explain”

Coran held his hand up quickly cutting him off “no need, I understand the importance of a bit of fun to avoid dying of boredom. The time for that has now sadly passed im sending you to look into a missing persons cases.”

Keith and lana exchanged a look, while lana’s was excitement Keiths was confusion.

“Sir while im happy for a case why not give it to someone else? Im sure all the others would kill for a case right now.”

Coran simply chuckled to himself handing over a case file “because Kogane your the only officer here I trust not to get side tracked while investigating. That and i'm sure Lana here will make sure your eyes don't wander too far.”

Lana wasn't really sure what he meant by that until they got to the scene of the crime.

Or as everyone else calls it the ‘Galra Gentlemens Club’.

When the club first opened it was met with outcry from the church and the school boards and well anyone with too much time on their hands.

Now after being open for more than a decade, those same people have become the most lucrative clientele, who know stuck up prudes could have such deep pockets for the sinful arts.

Keith had kindly offered to give Lana a ride on the handlebars of his bike since the club was located uphill from the station and there was no way the poor old police car would make it up the whole way. Apparently a replacement was on its way but they had been promising it since before the war.

Lana had of course told Keith that while she appreciate the offer she would find the very idea outlandishly improper, so of course made him ride the handle bars while she put her years of missing the bus and not wanting to be late training to good use.

After a quick check with her compact and a nod to Keith they entered the club.

Lana was no stranger to Gentlemens clubs, she had been to more than a few during the war to meet with people who were usually a lot more willing to give up information when they had a few drinks in them.

This club was no different, everything was a sickening deep purple as if the colour alone could make it classy or hide the disturbingly prominent wet patches on the couches.

Lana tried her very best not to stare at the men already here this early on a weekday morning and instead focused on following Keith back to see the manger.

“Just let me do the talking, guys like this aren't always that nice to women” Keith whispered as he knocked on the door and it swung open to not show a greasy man but instead a very tall muscular woman with short black hair wearing a suit.

Lana felt her mouth go dry just looking at her.

“A-are you the manager here?” Keith asked clearly feeling equally intimidated and aroused as Lana was.

“Yeah i am, who wants to know?” She asked leaning against the doorway and looking down at him. Her gaze however moved quickly from keith to Lana and a smile spread across her face.

“Usually we don't hire new talent outside of auditions but for a beautiful girl like you im willing to make an exception.”

“I” Lana squeaked finding herself speechless for the first time in a long time.

Thankfully Keith came to her rescue before she could actually contemplate working for this greek god of a woman.

“Actually we came from the police station. You called about one of the dancers going missing?”

The woman nodded and stepped back into the room hurrying them inside before closing the door.

“Yeah my best girl Ezor, she was seen leaving the club last week but no one has seen her since.”

“Does she often disappear like this? Perhaps to visit a gentleman caller miss...?” Keith asked pulling out a notebook while Lana looked around the office.

“Zethrid…. And trust me she's not the sorts to make house calls.”

It was fairly empty save for a punching bag in the corner and a few pictures on the walls. Most of them were group shots of all the dancers in costumes. But those actually on the desk seemed only to contain Zethrid and a slim woman with pink hair tied in a high ponytail. It was just the two of them over and over again smiling like they didn't have a care in the world.

“Is this Ezor here?” Lana asked picking up one picture showing the two in the park, judging from the bunting and celebrating in the background it was the day the allie ‘won’ the war.

Zethrid nodded “yeah that's her… we actually live together and yeah she disappears sometimes but never for this long and never without contacting me.”

“Is it possible she ran off with a sweetheart?” Keith asked taking the picture.

“She wouldn't. I know she's been taken its the only explanation.”

Something told Lana that this relationship was deeper than friendship “The last night she was seen, was there anything unusual happening?”

Zethrid thought for a moment “now that you mention it there was a black car parked outside the club all day. I didn't give it much mind incase it was a customer trying to work up the nerve to come in but it left right after she did.”

“Did you happen to catch the plates?” Keith asked hopefully only to let out a disappointed sigh when she shook her head no.

“But the car was old looking with a dent in the drivers side door.”

Keith noted it down “thanks we will be in touch.”

He led the way out but Zethrid grabbed Lana by the arm before she could leave “please i can't imagine life without her… she's my best friend.”

Lana knew what it was like to lose one of those. So she smiled and put a hand over hers “I promise ill do everything I can to find her.”

Once they were safely outside keith let out a groan “you should promise people anything, it just means you'll get attached to the case.”

“Isn't that the job of a detective though? How can i love a case if i don't care about it?” Lana huffed hitching up her skirt and getting on the bike.

“I'm just saying that it will end up hurting you more if we find her dead in a ditch somewhere.”

Lana rolled her eyes “ever the optimist huh Mullet. Besides we have a lead how many people in town have old black cars?”

“Excluding the police cruiser i'd say seven.” Keith noticed the sceptical look Lana was giving him and rolled his eyes.

“My brother owns the mechanics remember, i help out sometimes and not many people really have cars round here.”

Lana sighed “maybe we should get a second opinion from your dreamy brother.” she batted her eyelashes playfully at him as he climbed onto the handle bars.

“Shut up and pedal we've got a lot of groundwork to do.”

Five hours!

It took five hours to find all the cars, to check for dents and alibis.

In that time Lana fell into two ditches, got attacked by a chicken and the rip in her dress traveled up to past her knee.

As her mother would say she's only some red lipstick away from looking like a whore.

Lana wished she could say that time was well spent and while watching Keith getting chased by an angry family of pigeons that had taken resident in one of the old cars they ultimately ended up on a dead end.

So while the light began to fade and the two slowly walked up to the station the mood was sour.

“It could always have been someone from out of town?” Lana suggested holding the split in her dress to try and keep it from travelling any higher.

“No they would have been too noticeable. If someone from out of town drove through here everyone would know about it by now. We must have missed something.”

Lana shivered in the cool air and was surprised when Keith handed over his jacket without taking his eyes off the path.

The red really did suit him better but the warmth from his body made her feel better.

“We should check surrounding houses tomorrow, maybe one of the cars was taken without the owner realising.”

“And what they dented it and then undented it?’ Keith snorted “no if the dent was fixed it would have had to come through the shop. Shiro may be able to help.”

“I'll try to hide my disappointment” Lana laughed earning her a playful push from Keith which she returned.

The two were laughing and having a moment of fun that when cold hard reality finally came crashing down Lana felt like she had been punched in the face.

Just as they walked in the car they were looking for pulled in behind them.

Old, black and with a large dent on the side.

The only problem was that it was Coran driving it.

#langst #fem lance #1940s detective au #klance #allurance #pidge #Coran #james griffin

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tybunnyy-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Zabdiel de jesus- jealousy gets the best of him.

guys listen up, this is my first smut so yall better bare with me!! let me know what you guys thought!

disclaimer: smut, angst, daddy kink, choking kink and swearing.

Inspired by the song Loud(y) - Lewis Del Mar

His eyes watching you, his fist clenched and his veins almost popped out of his neck when he watched you through the window. Zabdiel couldn’t believe that you would disrespect him like this… the way you laughed with another man, the way you held onto him and the way you playfully hit him. He had just gotten back from tour, exhausted and not entirely sober yet from the party he had just gotten back from.

You had been best friends with your friend, Jonah for ages. Both knowing each other better than you know yourselves. You had always known that Zabdiel was the jealous type but you never had have to deal with it, tonight you were. You were laughing at a joke Jonah had made when you heard the door slam and Zabdiel making his presence known.

You smile and get up going to the hallway. “Oh hey baby, how are you?” you say as you walked to your boyfriend to kiss him for the first time after 6 months.

“Hmm hola” is all you got ,before being pulled in for a kiss that felt very forceful. “god i missed you so much baby” he said in a fake sweet voice, his jealousy was easily read from his face. He walked right past you to get rid of his bags, leaving you confused behind.

As you walk out of the hallway you see a awkward scene unfolding in front of you. “Oh hey Zabdiel, how was the tour man?” Jonah got up awkwardly.

“I think we should continue our chilling session another” you smiled, deep inside you were very nervous. You don’t want Jonah to go but you don’t to upset Zabdiel more.

“Yeah sure.. Uhm love you Y/N text ya later?” as he gives you a kiss on the cheek and goes to the hallway to grab his coat. When after a couple of minutes you hear the front door close. You clear your throat as you look at Zabdiel. His face speaks a thousand words, he is clearly upset but you just didn’t get it.

“Sooo how was the tour bebé?” trying to break the silence, all you get was a scoff. What was he so upset about? What had you done? You get no answer. Now you were just totally done with him. As you try walking you feel hands pulling you back. You feel hot breath down your neck, wanting to be closer you push yourself against him. You feel his boner against your ass, you know he fucking worships it. Moving your hips up and down, you feel his breathing hitching. You feel yourself getting excited for him, a pool of wetness gathering in your panties. The grinding gets more and more heated. As you turn around you see his almost black eyes.

Out of nowhere he picks you up and puts you over his shoulder.

That was it, you are outraged. “What The Fuck Zabdiel PUT ME DOWN NOW!!” you scream from the top of your lungs. He completely ignores you and starts walking to your shared bedroom. You try absolutely anything to get of his shoulder but he is just to strong.

When he reaches the bed, he just throws you on there.

“You have fucking anger issues Zabdiel” you fold your arms over each other. Zabdiel keeps pacing around the room. “Y/N i do not want to hear another word from you till i say you can” he speaks for the first time since he entered the house. The way he said it only made you more turned on. Maybe i should see how far i can go? You think to yourself. As you walk up to him and start kissing his neck. He stood stiff not wanting to see weak, you felt his hard on growing even bigger.

“But Zabdiii I didn’t do anything wrong, please daddy-... i just wanted to hang out with the guy nothing else” as you make it down his neck, in your head you are smirking. You are gonna get exactly what you want, he had a weak for you and you were gonna play that out on him. “You have been a very very bad girl Y/N- fuck i am afraid im gonna have to punish you” his hands move slowly up your body.

Stopping at your breasts as he starts to massage them, hating yourself for wearing a bra. Wanting contact and just to make him make you feel good. You moved you body further into his hands. As he sucks your neck, feeling bruises form. Moaning in distress wanting to feel more .“Patience babygirl” he whispers against your skin .

His hands travel back down to the hem of his oversized sweater that you were wearing. Moving it up your body much to slow for your liking. “Please-.. I need more daddy” you whisper softly, closing your eyes. When your top is off you start to feel exposed. He looks you up and down your body, licking his lips. He takes his hands and moves it from your thigh up your crotch to your neck. As he closes his hands slightly you feel your mouth fall open. “Tell me Y/N who the fuck you belong to” He watches you and realises how lucky he is your pretty neck stuck in his hand, your amazing eyes wide open for him and your mouth fallen slightly open. What’s more sexual than laying your life in someone else’s hands…

“You , daddy only you” left your mouth more as a whine and Zabdiel was snapped back to earth. His dick was now throbbing in his pants, realizing if he kept going like this he would cum untouched.

“Babygirl i need you to get on the bed on all fours, can you do that for me?” he whispers in your ear. That could have made you cum right there and then, you don’t hesitate before practically sprinting to the bed. You know better than taking off the rest of your clothes. He loves to see you on all fours with your ass sticking up and your pretty yoga pants. As you get on the bed your head facing the headboard, all you can do listen… you gasp as you feel him putting something over your eyes, a blindfold.

You had told him that you wanted to explore each others kinks just a little bit more. Resulting in you telling him that you wanted to try bondage, he had said that he would try it when he felt like the both of you were ready. He had planned it all out in his head when on our as well as buying all the things he needed.

You feel him fasten it around your head and his hands slit down your body, feeling your curves. Moaning at the feeling you tried to speak up “please daddy i need something!”. He gave your ass a firm slap “Daddy told you to stay quiet baby, why do you gotta keep misbehaving damn girl”

With that he flipped you over so you were laying on your back. In one swoop he took off both your pants and underwear. He starts kissing your thighs, leaving the marks he finds to be so beautiful on his babygirl. He moves his mouth up and you fist the sheet so hard your knuckles are turning white. His fingers finally touching where you wanted him most moving up and down your folds.

“Hmm bebé are you all wet for me?” you not wanting to disappoint him stayed silent.

“Such a good girl, always listening to daddy just to please him” after that he put focus back on your puss. Suddenly you feel his teeth biting gently into your clit, it send a shockwave through your body. Slowly massaging it between his teeth, his lips touching in exactly the right places. He adds his tongue moving it in circles, up and down. You felt one of his fingers entering you moving inside of you. Adding another wanna you start grinding back on it. You couldn’t help but wanting to moan. Feeling yourself forming that familiar knot in your stomach. Zabdiel feels your walls clenching onto his fingers. you grab onto his arm almost to ask for permission to make a sound. His mouth leaving you, fingers still stuck inside of you.

Moving up to your mouth kissing you deeply. Whispering in your pretty ear “Let me hear your pretty noises, ¿Te gusta cuando te la acaricio con mi lengua?” you immediately moan out. Deep grumbles coming from down below, he smiled at you being pleased with himself. "méteme la verga, por favor” you don’t have to ask twice before you feel his cock between your folds moving it up and down. You didn’t even know that he had undressed himself.

You let a porn star worthy moans out, surprising both of you. “Ahh fuck- give me something daddy” you feel him stop between your legs. Almost losing it when you hear the short but powerful “beg”. That’s when you forgot everything except you and him.

“Oww please daddy i just need your big fucking dick, i just need you to split me in- ahh fuck”

He slams into you with a master speed. Holding your hands above your head with one hand and the other holding your hip like his life depended on it. Him pounding into you filling you up completely and pulling almost out before slamming back in with an extreme force. “Let me hear you baby, scream my name please” you don’t waste anytime.

“Fuck daddy you make me feel so- oh right there… you make me feel so amazing. Only you, no one ever fucked me like this” meeting up with his movements, wanting to touch him so badly but being unable . Both of your movements becoming sloppy, both being close and wanting to cum. That’s when his hand leaves your hip and picks your legs putting it over his shoulder. Your head started spinning, feeling yourself getting close. “I’m gonna c-” “me too baby, wait till i tell you to” you moan in frustration. His thrust getting deeper and faster chasing his orgasm. Your mouth falling wide open knowing you wouldn’t last very long. “Okay babygirl, cum for daddy” your orgasm hits you hard, meeting each others thrust just right. “i m gonna cu- ahhh” you let your juices flow letting the most disgusting moan. It only takes a couple thrust before he fills you up with his cum. He drops onto his arms, taking off your blindfold.

Smiling as you finally see his smile.He starts kissing your face, first your cheeks, eyelids and lastly your lips. He rolls next to you and cuddles onto you. You smile and look at your amazing boyfriend one more time before kissing him.

“You should get jealous more often ZabDaddy” you grin at him, sticking out your tongue. As you see his face turn harsh again. But then a smile creeping onto his face.

“Fuck how lucky i am to have this amazing women all for me, no need to be jealous anymore”

"well we'll see about that"

#cnco #cncowners #cnco imagine #cnco fanfic #zabdiel de jesus smut #zabdiel de jesus imagine #cnco smut #dirty imagine #smut #honestly im out of tags just go read this piece of crap-thanks

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problematicc-favs · 8 years ago

Text

needy; connor murphy x reader smut

requests: too many

okay motherfuckers, it’s here and its kinky as hell

word count; 1673

TRIGGER WARNINGS; KINKY SMUT, ITS AGAINST A CAR SO IN PUBLIC OKAY, connor calls the reader nicknames like babygirl etc, T E a s i N G, lowkey a lil hint of degradation but just a lil’, LEMME KNOW IF IM MISSING TAGS

ITS NOT PROOFREAD RN CUZ I FEEL BAD ABOUT POSTING LATE

It was almost pathetic the kind of affect Connor had on you by just being near you, but what was even more pathetic was the affect he had on you when he wasn’t around. The fact that after only a few days of being apart, you started to become almost desperate to see him again, to feel him again.

You see, Connor had been away for a week because he had been forced to go on a trip with his family. And while it’s not like you two hadn’t sent your fair share of racy texts and pictures while he was away, it was nothing near enough to satiate you.

Luckily, he had arrived home late last night. You were finally going to see him again today, and you didn’t think you had ever been more excited to go to school. You may or may not have worn an outfit that was intentionally more revealing than you usually wore to get Connor’s attention. Maybe.

When you arrived in the school parking lot you could see Connor leaning against the wall of the school entrance, probably waiting for you. You sped-walked over to him, and you could see a small smile play on his lips as he saw you approach. “Damn, you wear this just for me?” He half-joked, scanning your body. “You know it, Murphy.” You winked and blushed slightly under his gaze, quickly standing on your tip-toes and kissing him with an amount of force that surprised him, but which he quickly returned. His hands moved to your waist and he squeezed gently, before he broke away and chuckled. “You’re so needy, princess.” He commented. You bit your lip slightly, staring at your shoes. “You’ve been gone for a week.” You mumbled. “I know, babygirl. I promise I’ll make it up to you after school, okay?” He moved some of your hair out of your face. “But that’s so fucking long from now.” You groaned in frustration. Connor just shook his head, grabbing your hand and walking into the school. “I think you can handle seven more hours.” He used his free hand to pat your head condescendingly. “Please don’t say that.” You whined. “And don’t be so condescending. We both know that you missed me, too.” You scoffed. “No one ever said I didn’t.” He shrugged, stopping in front of the door to your first class. “And this is where I leave you, love.” He announced, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek before speeding down the hallway to his own class. You rolled your eyes.

Connor had never cared about missing class to fuck before, and you knew the only reason he was pretending to care now was to torture you. You swore that boy would be the death of you.

By your second period you were already ready to give up and burst into your boyfriend’s math class to drag him into your car.

By third you couldn’t help but text him.

To: Con;

I seriously doubt I’ll be able to make it through the school day

He replied only a few seconds later.

From: Con;

Well you’re gonna have to babygirl

He sent another text before you even had a chance to respond.

From: Con;

I bet you’re already wet for me.

You could feel your heart rate speed up.

To: Con;

Maybe I am

From: Con;

Just maybe? I guess I’ll have to send you something to make sure you’re ready for me later

You quickly shut off your phone, not ready to read whatever he was about to text you. You were needy enough already, and now he wanted to tease you in class?

Fourth period was pretty uneventful, besides the ever so obvious feeling of desperation in your core.

Fifth was lunch, and you could already tell that Connor would be relentless to you when you arrived in the lunchroom and the first thing he did was pull you down to sit next to him and mumble ‘hi babygirl’ in your ear.

You were right.

You were attempting to hold a conversation with Evan when you first felt his fingers dance up your thigh. You could feel the heat pooling between your legs. Suddenly, Connor was snaking his hand into your shorts and rubbing your clit through the cloth of your panties. It was becoming close to impossible to continue talking about whether you thought your last math quiz was hard. You could hear Connor chuckle as you stumbled and stuttered. Evan asked if you were okay, and you quickly dismissed him by saying you just had a lot on your mind. Connor turned to look at you, his finger still pressing concentrated circles on your clit. “A lot on your mind? Oh no. Are you okay babe?” He asked, not even trying to mask his smirk. “I’m fine.” You inhaled sharply as he slipped a finger under the hem of your underwear. “Are you sure, you look kinda red. Are you sure you’re not sick?” You glared at Connor, nodding. “I’m fine.”

Connor removed his hand from your shorts. “If you say so, princess.”

You rolled you eyes in an attempt to make it seem like you didn’t care that he had stopped. “I have to go to the bathroom.” You stepped out into the hallway and texted Connor.

To: Con;

Seriously, if you keep this up I’m gonna fucking explode

From: Con;

Patience, baby.

To: Con;

I’ve been patient for like a week! Seriously?

No response.

“God damnit.” You ran your hands through your hair, shutting your phone off.

You walked back into the cafeteria, only to see that Connor wasn’t there. You looked around before you felt your phone buzz.

From: Con;

Fine, babygirl, if you’re so desperate for me then meet me at your car. Now.

It looked like you were ditching school for the rest of the day. Great.

You practically ran to your car, where Connor was already waiting. “You’re the biggest fucking tease I’ve ever met, asshole.” You glared at him before tossing him the keys. He caught them and unlocked the doors, hopping into the drivers seat. “I’d be careful what you say, sweetheart. You don’t want to have to wait any longer, do you?” He warned as you got into the passenger’s seat. The drive to your house was mostly silent besides soft whimpers tumbling out of your lips while he massaged your inner thigh.

When you pulled into your driveway you both bolted out of the car, and in a few seconds Connor was pushing you against it, kissing your neck and collarbone. You couldn’t care less that anyone could see you two practically dry humping each other in your driveway. “Fuck, I could take you right here.” Connor mumbled against your skin. “I wouldn’t stop you.” You gulped, tangling a hand in his hair and tugging roughly. “Don’t encourage me.” He chuckled, his hands moving to your ass, which caused you to jump up and wrap your legs around him. You could feel his bugle against your core, causing you to shiver slightly with anticipation. “Fuck, if we’re doing this then do it.” You moaned. “You’re such a slut.” Connor half-jokingly scoffed, one of his hands pulling your shirt over your head and kissing your newly exposed skin. “You’re wearing too many clothes.” You whined through your moans as you tugged at his shirt. He took the hint and pulled it off as well, tossing it onto the hood of your car. “This is so fucked up.” You breathed out, your nails digging into his shoulder. “Yet you like it.” Connor teased against your skin. “So do you.” You quipped back. After a few more moments of making out, your hand roamed down to the button of his jeans, popping it open and quickly unzipping them as well. “Someone’s eager.” Connor mused, doing the same to your short and pulling them down your thighs. “Anyone could see us right now, Connor.” You said shakily. “I know.” He replied. “Is that a problem?” You quickly shook your head and moaned as you watched him pull down his boxers enough to free his erection. He smirked slightly, burying his head in your shoulder as he pulled your panties to the side and pushed himself into you, to desperate himself to tease you for very long. “Fuck, Connor.” You moaned, grabbing a fistful of his hair and tugging. He moaned your name in response, beginning to thrust into you at a steady pace. “You’re so tight babygirl.” He growled against your neck, beginning to leave a trail of hickeys. “Connor, oh my god, faster. F-Fuck it feels so good.” You shut your eyes, focusing on the many sensations you were experiencing. “Moan my name, babygirl.” He commanded. You obviously complied, moaning his name loudly. You had been so desperate all day, you knew you weren’t going to last very long. You had a feeling it was the same for Connor. You pulled on his hair harder, earning a deep groan from him, which only turned you on more. “God, fuck, Connor I’m gonna cum.” You cried out, you head falling backwards. “God you’re so easy.” He chuckled darkly, speeding up his thrusts to bring you to your climax. “Cum for me, slut.” He growled in your ear. You weren’t going to argue. You practically screamed his name as you came, and you could feel his thrusts becoming sloppy. “God, you’re such a good girl for me y/n. Fuck.” He praised as he came. He pulled away from you after a few moments and you both pulled your underwear and pants back up.

You stayed still, panting, before you reached over and grabbed your shirt from the hood of the car. “Thank god my mom didn’t come home.” You breathed out, tossing his own shirt at him. “You’re a piece of work, y/n,” Connor shook his head, smiling at you slightly. “Right back at you, Murphy.” You grinned, taking a deep breath before walking towards your house.

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