#im not going to tag characters anymore it takes too long

[courfee]

just went through all my ao3 fics and edited all the tags because i feel like i overtag a lot and it always bothered me. tbf the most overtagging happens in my relationship/character tags but i find it super difficult to judge who/which relationship is important. like friendships are So Important in my fics i dont feel like i cant tag less there? especially my longer fics. amtc james&sirius and black brothers are in my mind at least if not more important than literally amtc jegulus. i know its a jegulus fic but also jegulus is just the catalyst for other relationship dynamics. how do you tag that stuff

[i23kazu]

A SERIES OF BEAUTIFUL MOMENTS

characters. xiao zhongli diluc kaeya childe neuvillette alhaitham x gn!reader genre. romantic fluff. an. ough. . | please reblog!! im getting back into writing and reblogs with tags and comments will make me want to write more :D

xiao

the aftermath of a bloody fight. the remains of a hilichurl lay in front of you, disintegrating back into abyss particles. it's a sad sight, but it had to be done – xiao looks at you, nodding in approval. you did well, for a healer who hates taking away lives, he says. the two of you turn back to center your gaze on the flaming battlefield. some things are meant to be killed.

zhongli

when he mourns for his old life, with old friends, old students, old sights. he buries his head in your lap, the ex-archon's tears staining your hanfu. it's okay to cry, my dear, it's okay to cry, you remind him –it doesn't get any better. grief doesn't come easier after those hopeful words. zhongli can only hope that it will come easier, with your presence in his life.

diluc

brushing his hair after a night of vigilante activities – diluc hisses when your thumb presses on a sore spot, and you gently shush him with a stroke on his neck. i'm sorry, diluc, just hold on a while longer and i promise i'll be done soon – you whisper gently, cupping his face in your hands as you turn his head slightly to the side to check for more scrapes and scratches.

kaeya

braiding flowers into his cobalt blue hair – kaeya laughs when your fingers graze against a sensitive spot. you laugh and tease him, your fingers deftly braiding the daisies you both gathered earlier into the tight braid that was in your hands. it's a serene night – a vast contrast from the previous, turmoil-filled nights. the archons know that both of you need it.

childe

playing tag with the children, with a very exhausted ajax sprawled out on the ground and pretending to pant and gasp for air – alright, perhaps he's not pretending anymore. teucer sits on his torso, poking his sides until his beloved big brother gets up and tickles him until the little boy shrieks. childe leans against your lap, and you stroke his hair until he falls asleep, teucer cuddled up next to him.

neuvillette

waking up in the morning, with your two melusine daughters giggling and jumping on your bed. they startle awake a previously-snoozing neuvillette. he smiles lightly as he greets the girls good morning, who leap off the bed and eagerly run to the kitchen. your husband turns over to look at you – a sweet moment of respite, before kissing you on the lips and turning back to the chaos-filled morning.

alhaitham

reaching for a book that's too high, only to realise that your boyfriend can reach for it with ease. alhaitham bends down to listen to your request, before simply nodding and reaching for your much sought-after book. he smiles gently, afraid that you'll be afraid and intimidated by him... like everyone is. your soft, sweet words of gratitude please him instead. thank you, alhaitham.

taglist: @tiredsleep @loptido @raincxtter @chichikoi @ladyadii @soulsanta @sheiiths @genshinparty @eowinthetraveler @moonbyunniee @legitnoi @lemontum @manager-of-the-pudding-bank @starz222 @ilyuu @cherry-colored-petals @mondaymelon @tartaglia-apologist @soleillunne @m1shapanda @aimynx @smokipoki @adeptuscharm @diorlumx @vennnnn-diagram @ryuryuryuyurboat @yuminako @st0pthatsgay @aqualesha @sixtynintharchon @supernova25 @kunikuda-simp (send ask/comment to be added to taglist)

reblogs w/ tags & comments help me lots !!! if you liked this, consider dropping me a follow as well :-) they all go a long way!

[sakusaur]

making out with nagi or reo without touching to see who gives in first

two characters to make up for my absence :')

tags: SUGGESTIVE

headcanons!

nagi

one might think he’s just lazy to touch you but honestly it’s because he’s afraid of getting too into it and losing immediately

BUT!! at the same time, he thinks its really cute to see you get so flustered and worked up with just his lips sucking gently on yours

heavy breaths in between kisses, imagining how your skin would feel like underneath his fingers

oh how much he wants to just squeeze your thighs and to just lift you up on his lap effortlessly but his hands are placed on his thighs, trying to ease the ache

but no. nagi is not going to lose this game, especially when you’re clawing on the sofa, trying your hardest to not grab his shoulders and bring him closer to your body

nagi wishes you were clawing at his body instead :(

“y/n…” nagi will actually moan your name in between kisses and pant loudly which drives you mad, contemplating to give in to him.

he loses though! cause you started panting into his mouth when he nips lazily at your lips, begging you to open up for his tongue to slip in and nagi just loses it

he does what he wants to do all along; lifting you up and seating you nicely on his lap as you gasp aloud at his touch and nagi takes the moment to slip his tongue into your mouth

“enough games y/n…i want to feel you now.”

reo

definitely in his limousine…(yeah he actually does have a limousine)

“no cheating reo,” you say as he tries to brush his hair away from his cheeks, accidentally brushing against your cheek as well

“i wasn’t cheating, and what kind of game is this?” he almost pouts. “ ‘wna touch you so bad.”

reo has his hands just beside your head, on the tinted windows, trapping you in and leaving you nowhere else to go unless you touch him

which isn’t fair because he’s slowly trailing down your jaw, onto your neck and collarbones. nipping slowly and you can feel his little puffs on your skin

it’s driving you mad cause you want to touch him as well, your hands gripping and leaving sweat on the leather seats.

“ready to give up, princess?” reo says as he looks up at you, his tongue sticking out to lick a stripe across your chest, his breath ghosting at your neck

this was so not making out anymore.

you grab his hair and pull him up to your face, and reo smirks before he leans in to kiss you.

a/n: anon im so sorry this took so long…but i’ll be writing more frequently now since my first year of university is over! so PLEASE!!! send in your requests 🫶🏻 i love reading what you guys think! i’ll get to them as soon as i clear my request box xoxo hope you liked this!

[cattynamie]

Babysitting with Leona Kingscholar

+ Cheka.

Author's note : I've had this idea for a while and i'm actually going to embrace it this time :3, AGAIN. i had to do a little research on Cheka's character, so i hope i got him and Leona correctly.

Warnings : None! Completely SFW and anyone can read if they want. Also, the reader has no specific pronouns as far as im aware and can or can not be seen as Yuu! The choice is up to you ;)

.

.

.

At first, Leona wanted to keep you away from Cheka as long as it was possible. Mostly because he doesn't want his brother smothering over you or asking you to tag along everytime there's a family dinner... Is it selfish wanting to keep your attention on him? Nah, he doesn't think so, you two are dating after all.

So, once in a blue moon, Leona text his brother asking when is Cheka coming over to avoid Cheka from meeting you personally as his partner. And also accidentally making Farena think that Leona's asking because he misses the little rascal (Yes he does, but just a bit and he'll never tell that to anyone.)

So Farena lies and tells him that Cheka's coming next week on Friday. And just decides to send Cheka that same day just to surprise Leona. Unknowingly to Leona, of course. Who was just having his nap number 427 BUT!! this one was special. You had managed to finish your school work in time and decided to take a nap beside Leona. (Which ended up being completely smothered by his body while he layed comfortably on top of you, but you had already gotten used to it at this point, but if you had some problem breathing, you'll just have to pat his back a couple times to change sleep positions.)

That is until Leona starts to hear impatient knocks on the door, almost a if they were hitting the door with both of their fists. Making one of his ears twich and his tail sway in annoyance before he grumbles an "What now?" Loud enough for the person to hear but still smothering your face with his body so you don't hear.

As a response, the door flies open, revealing the so called rascal with sun hair color and slightly tanned skin with a bright smile on his face at the sigh of his Uncle Leona who lies flabbergasted at the sight of the youngling, quickly putting all of his weight on you and smothering you awake before using the blankets to cover your figure.

"Uncle Leona! I finally found you!"

At the sudden raisse of voice, you start to fight Leona in order to geth the blanket that of in front of your face. (You were suffocating ;()

"You- What are you doing here?!" Leona growls as he continues to hold you down, hiding you from the sight of his nephew and suffocating you affecionately <3

"Weren't you supposed to come next week?!"

"Yeah! But you missed me and i also missed you! So i couldn't just wait anymore!" Cheka says with a bright smile as he jumps on Leona's bare back with a laugh, making Leona distracted as he let's go of the blanket and you pull it down, taking a fistfull of air as you try to push air back to your lungs.

Unknowingly to you, Leona was staring down at you curiously with wide eyes as he hold firmly from Leona's back.

"You're one of my Uncle's friends?"

And that was the last thing you heard before you were smothered by the youngling too.

-

As soon as Cheka found out who you were, he wanted to run to his attendants and tell them EVERYTHING.

When his plan were instantly thwarted by Leona who grabbed the back of his shirt and lifted him up to the air significantly before he could run and speak about the both of you to the attendant's.

Leona already knew that he could not buy Cheka's silence with ANYTHING but if he was going to tell, he'd rather Farena finding out late at the night. (so he can ignore his messages with a excuse.)

In order to keep Cheka busy, you offered a friendly chess game, which Cheka instantly agreed to spend time with his uncle, and Leona... was not so pleased with it, but he'll make the sacrifice.

So, it basically was you and Cheka vs THE Leona himself.

Cheka didn't really know how to play correctly (And you aren't that much a great player either...), so it was Leona's duty to teach you both correctly. (Not that he'd let you both win, but he did teach you both helpfull strategies so he doesn't or anyone win instantly.)

After that, you let Cheka rant all about his hometown as he lays on Leona's stomach while he plays with his braids. (Which you're kind of grateful for since Leona doesn't really speak about it) While youre massaging Leona's head in your lap.

...Which quickly lead on into Cheka and Leona playfighting on the bed. With a little bit of struggle, Leona managed to win the fight (unsurprisingly) and just slumped into the bedsheets because "He was already tired". Luckily, the little rascal grews tired too and slumps into Leona's back too, earning a groan from Leona as he grabs your elbow and starts to tug you into lay down too.

And you three ended up sleeping until the evening <3 Until a soft knock comes and an attendant peeks his head into Leona's room, saying that its time for the young prince to go home, (trying not to ask about your sleeping form as much as they can) But as soon as Leona steped out of the door, Leona could hear how he starts to tell them EVERYTHING about what you all did today.

With a soft groan and a sway of his tail, he embraces you once again and not EVEN ten minutes later, Farena tarts to spam message's into his brother's phone about you. Just as expected, Leona ignored them all and threw his phone at the other side of the bed, snugling his fcae into your neck as you both drift up to sleep <33

-

OKAY that's all!! i had fun writing for this too, a great wy to pass tijme. once again, please forgive me if i got any of the character's wrong in this post, any kind of note or criticism will be very well welcomed!! thank you for anyone who's reding this i love you xoxo byeeeeeeee!1!!!!11!!

[pluralthey]

is there a good place to start if we want to learn about idletry? im very interested in the story and all the bits and pieces revealed so far but i dont know if youve like, stated the basics both about the characters-in-story and how you’re releasing the comic

hi there. unfortunately, idletry became a passion project very abruptly and many details were added very quickly without regard for how long the project would take. once i did realize how large the project was, i decided that i would not even kid myself on the idea of holding in spoilers for the next 5 years, and those two factors combined make the information available very chaotic and slapdash -- somewhat intentionally.

i don't even have the comics tagged separately for easier access among the idletry content -- although, i could go back and give them a separate tag.

i can summarize the story and say that it's about a funny little talking honey badger/tasmanian devil named jessie gaylord who has for the last 10 years of her life been on heavy psychiatric medication in an attempt to mitigate a pervasive delusion that the world is a fictional story. she also has a notorious aggressive streak. these medications work primarily by leaving her so tired that she sleeps most of the time.

the story begins when her medical team has run out of typical medications to try, and they must order an older, more aggressive type of drug which is not commonly used anymore, and has a lengthier process to manufacturing and approving the drug. during this time, she is not on any medication, and she becomes more urgently fixated on convincing people that the delusion is true.

she ends up attempting to contact the writer, who is referred to as God, and she receives a response. she immediately attempts to write the story herself, and she's granted the ability to do anything within the story so long as she can write it out. (the intricacies and limitations of this power have been elaborated upon in a bunch of fragmentary posts, so i won't try to condense it here)

at the end of the first act, she kills the first writer and becomes the new God of her world. the rest of the story is about what she does after acquiring omnipotence, and it heavily features a character named fate -- or shiloh, as jessie calls her -- with whom she enters an intimate relationship.

she has a happy loving family composed of a father named adam, a mother named evelyn, and an older sister named emily. there is a later minor subplot about a cult following who worships her after she becomes God, and this cult is initially organized by an ant called samanthuel -- or samwich, as jessie calls them. these are usually the other characters i mention and i am too lazy to link them right now

the comic itself is currently being written. the script stands at around 51,000 words at the time of writing this as i work on the second act. after it's written, i will let it simmer for a few months and then write a second draft to start to relieve the story of its bloat. depending on its length at that point, i will either need to write a third draft, or i will start drawing the comic.

chances are, during the second draft, i will start to thumbnail or sketch scenes which receive little to no editing, as i know they will likely remain relatively unchanged even through multiple drafts.

the sketch strips are to tide me and an eager audience over in the meantime, but they've sort of dried up as i focus all of my attention on finishing the first draft and taking care of a puppy that was kind of just forced onto me.

i've made a couple of full-length comics before and they have taken years. it is, unfortunately, just the nature of the process. for idletry, i plan to self-publish the comic. i've never published something in print before, so that is the most daunting part for me.

the plan at the moment is to crowdfund this, but, to be frank with you, i no longer pay rent, and i care very much about having this comic as a printed book. i have no issue with paying the cost of printing out of my own pocket by the time it's done and am even anticipating that outcome ahead of time, despite having a pretty reliable audience by now.

i'm on the fence about releasing a digital book version, as i very much want to retain digital color versions of the pages that are more vibrant, but due to the explicit adult content of the story, i don't want it to be free-access.

tl;dr: it's about a lesbian incel with anger issues who's given omnipotence.

i'm still working on the story because i want it to be good.

i'm planning on printing it as a physical comic book once it's done.

[mono-dot-jpeg]

new universe - y. welt

summary; while you didn't mind playing hsr, you didn't want to be in hsr!

genre/extra tags; headcanons, isekai! reader, father figure! welt back in action, fluff, angst???

[platonic] [16 years old! reader] [gender neutral! reader]

a/n; never wrote for isekai'd reader but im down to try. this is probably gonna be unintentionally angsty bc idk abt u but no matter what world im waking up in, im gonna lose my shit too.

you played quite a bit of hsr

you had your fair share of liking a bunch of characters, gambling on them just for that 0.001% chance of feeling joy that you finally got that character

and you liked the story and all

but you didn't want anything more than that

so imagine the absolute panic of waking up like you were trailblazer.

march's face near yours sending you into freeze rather than flight or fight

"march step back, give them time. they just woke up."

you literally go through the 5 stages or grief as you slowly realize, oh shit, im not home anymore

and then it sinks in again

and then you start crying.

you're stuck in denial as you cry your eyes out

you're stuck in a fantasy space world where you are just as powerless as a citizen npc and you know there's a bunch of enemies in game that look really painful to deal with

you dont even realize that you've been taken to a room to wallow in peace.

welt's room to be specific.

you calm down after a while, sitting down in embarrassment bc oh fuck you just cried in front of some of your favorite character but to be fair you might be stuck in this world which does almost send into another panic

but welt comes in at the right time

"i'm sorry we didn't wake you when we found you, but we wanted to make sure that you weren't injured. do you remember anything of what happened?" he speaks calmly, making you feel calm in return

"i only remember my name.." you're really lucky to know that you speak the common language in this universe, or maybe they just know it. "i don't know what happened and..." your body shakes, feeling overwhelmed. "i don't know... 'm sorry."

he shakes his head. "you did nothing wrong. we didn't think or account for this. it's okay. it's okay to be scared. we're here to help you."

and it kind of breaks your heart bc you don't think there's a way to get back to your real home.

"would you like to know how we found you?" he hands you some water to drink.

you nod weakly, drinking the water.

and he explains how they found you in a different planet and stuck in a forest. "so you don't remember anything else?"

you hesitate. "i don't..i-" you close your mouth. "i don't think you'd believe me."

"it's okay if you don't want to tell me. but are you sure you don't know where your home is?" at the mention of home, you feel your eyes water.

"my home isn't where you think it is." you whisper weakly.

you don't elaborate and he doesn't expect you to elaborate.

"thank you for telling what you wanted to tell. i'm sure you're still scared and worried. and that's okay. but this does mean, you don't have a home.."

and he ends up taking you in.

you stick with him for a long while. it takes you a long time to get used to everything.

eventually you do get somewhat accustomed to it all.

with welt by your side you feel a bit more safe and less scared.

but on those nights where you remember that your normal is not the normal of this world, you find yourself looking for welt.

it's just silent comfort, just having his presence around you makes you feel better as you lay down by him as if you were a younger kid.

you just let him read his books as you wait for your body to make you sleep.

"thank you welt." you can't help but mutter.

and his reply is just a gentle pat on your head, a sign of him always listening to you and caring for you.

[moose-muffin]

im new here (hiya from the hazbin tag lol) but if you do character + character requests than please PLEASE gimmie a lee!vox with ler!alastor 🙏🙏🙏hear me out... the two are fighting and al (sHocKINglY) wins out, and vox expects to like.. be beaten into the ground as a result, but nope!! he gets tickled!!! to tears!!!! smthn smthn he wasnt smilin and, yk, youre never fully dressed w/o a smile!!!

/nf to do tho ty for reading!!! <3<3

OMG OMG HELLO WELCOME I HOPE YOURE DOING GOOD YIPPEE

SO FUN FACT I WAS VERY LIKE NEUTRAL TO RADIOSTATIC BUT TONIGHT HAS BEEN (HAHAH GET IT) AN ADVENTURE AND THIS ROAD HAS BEEN SUCH A BLAST <3 THOSE TWO FUCKERS ARE SO INSTIGATIVE ITS CRAZY.

I KNOWWWW THIS AS A FIC WOULD GO C R A Z Y!!!!! IDK IF ANYONE HERE WRITE FOR VOX AND ALASTOR AND PERHAPS DOES COMMISSIONS BUT I WILL PAY!!!! PLEASE HIT ME UP OR ILL PROBABLY GO TAKE A PEAK FOR MYSELF TMR <3 AS LONG AS THATS OK ANON. (I WILL ABSOLUTELY LET IT BE POSTED AS LONG AS THE AUTHOR IS OK WITH IT WHICH USUALLY THEY ARE!!!!) IM GONNA TAKE SOME CREATIVE LIBERTIES AS I TYPICALLY DO HEADCANONS!

IM NOT USUALLY A CHARACTER + CHARACTER GIRLY SO BEAR WITH ME BUT I WILL DO MY VERY BEST!!!! HOPEFULLY I CAN DO THIS JUSTICE! IT WILL BE RANDOM HCS THAT ARE UNRELATED TOO. MY BRAIN IS A MESSY PLACE HWBSHWDBD

OK SO LIKE I KINDA MENTIONED, THEY BOTH LOOOOVE TO JUST GET UNDER PEOPLES SKIN. LOVE IT!!! ESPECIALLY ALASTOR. HES SUCH AN ASS (affectionate)

I’D EVEN SAY HE’S KIND OF AN INSTIGATIVE LER???? BRO IS DOING EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER TO GET TO TICKLE VOX LIKEEE IDK IF THAT EVEN MAKES SENSE BUT I KNOW ITS TRUE. HE WILL CASUALLY WIGGLE HIS FINGERS IN CONVERSATION, TWEAK HIS RIBS FROM BEHIND, LITTLE THINGS LIKE THAT. WELL THEYRE NOT LITTLE. ESPECIALLY NOT TO VOX WHO IS SO FLUSTERED BY IT… ITS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING

BUT! VOX HAS STARTED TO FIGURE IT OUT. AS HE IS ALSO ONE WHO LOVEEES TO GET UNDER SKIN, HE DECIDES HE’LL DO EVERYTHING TO TRIGGER A LER MOOD IN ALASTOR. IF HE CAN TELL HE ALREADY HAS ONE, HE FINDS WAYS TO SUBTLY (WE ALL KNOW HE ISNT SUBTLE THOUGH) LEAVE A SPOT UNPROTECTED. BUT ALASTOR DOESNT WANT TO GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION!!! HE TRIES SO HARD TO NOT GIVE IN TO VOX BC HE “WANTED TO BE THE ONE IN CONTROL” AND NOW HE ISNT AND HES #PISSED

ALSO VOX ABSOLUTELY IS HORRIFIED OF VULNERABILITY. YET HE IS ABLE TO MOVE PAST IT WITH ALASTOR HERE. SOMEHOW HE ISNT AS WORRIED ANYMORE. MAYBE HE KNOWS ALASTOR WILL REACT. HE LOVES THAT SO VERY MUCH.

AS FOR THE SPECIFIC PROMPT, OH THAT IS SO REAL!!!! ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

I DONT WRITE GOOD ROMANCE BUT LIKE UGH IMAGINE IT NOW. Alastor definitely just got himself to the V’s tower and was planning on fucking with Vox only to see he had already been kinda pissed off. Alastor wouldn’t be as satisfied if he knew he didn’t cause the frustration. He realized he could just stir the pot again. Problem solved, and what better way to solve it than using his weakness against him.. being tickled.

I’m being a little silly but genuinely Vox is so ticklish. Like most ticklish person in hell would go to him if it were an official title. That’s what I’m thinking. That being said, Alastor also knows how quickly he could get him to crumble… but wouldn’t it be more fun to take it slow.

Vox notices his presence almost immediately. He tried to ignore it as he feels his face get warm. He can’t fuck this up. He takes a deep breath and turns around. “Why hello, Alastor! What brings you to our building this evening?” He said in a semi newcaster voice. He wasn’t ready to drop the act

“Well Vox, I came here for a reason of my own but then I walked by your office and you looked so sad!” He began to walk closer to Vox. “You know, t they say you’re never fully dressed without a smile!”

Vox let out a laugh that was quite clearly untruthful. “Yes Alastor I am aware! I was alone in here and so I figured I’d just save up some energy. I’m sure you understand.”

“Quite frankly I don’t,” Alastor paused, “I think maybe I could help you get that smile back.”

Vox didn’t even have to think. He knew Alastor meant he was going to tickle him. You could ask Velvette. She’s seen those two in tickle fights that lasted for DAYS. she knows what they’re capable of, or more so what Alastor is capable of.

Vox puts up a fight for maybe a couple seconds but he just loves tickles more than he can play pretend that he doesn’t <3

It works out well for them both, Alastor gets to fuck around with Vox and well, Vox gets his shit rocked!!! And he loves that more than a lot of things.

OK IM GONNA CUT IT OFF HERE BUT PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COME BACK!!!! IM ALWAYS DOWN TO HEAR WHAT PEOPLE ARE THINKING!! MAYBE ID DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS AGAIN OR LIKE ADD ONTO THIS!!! BUT I AM JUST ALL OVER THE PLACE CURRENTLY HEHE. I HOPE THESE ARE ENJOYABLE!!! (LOWKEY I WANNA ADD MORE TO THISSSS MAYBE TMR MAYBE TMR WE’LL SEE)

apologies if anything is ooc, i just do this for funsies <3

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASKK

[putting-ragatha-in-places]

hello!! putting ragatha wherever your heart desires!!

Inspired by @putting-kinger-in-places

REQUEST ARE CURRENTLY: OPEN!!

UPDATES: (7-14-24) SORRY IM DEAD AGAIN GUYS UGHHH it’s hard to feel motivation to post on here since tadc isn’t a hyperfixation of mine anymore ever since the content farms got super bad, and plus the other tadc gimmick blogs aren’t as active either, but I still love tadc with all my heart!!! :-) thank you for 15k notes <333

(I try to keep the ask box open so I’ll only close if I really need too)

BEFORE YOU ASK:

NO NSFW OR ASKS REVOLVED AROUND THE TOPIC!!

GORE IS FINE (as long as it’s not related to irl)

SENDING MULTIPLE ASKS ARE OKAY

SHIPS ARE ALLOWED AS LONG AS ITS LEGAL + ASKING FOR OTHER CHARACTERS ARE ALLOWED TOO (must include ragatha tho) I will tag whoever else was added if they have a placer blog!!

YOU CAN ASK ME TO DRAW ART BUT PLEASE MAINLY KEEP YOUR ASKS AROUND PLACES TO PUT RAGATHA IN!! I’ve noticed I got a bunch of art asks and I just wanted to make this clear!

Ask not answered?

I am procrastinating/lacking motivation

I am busy/sleeping/at school

I didn’t know what your ask was from/didn’t know what to do

I couldn’t find a good image

I do oldest to newest ask first so if you just asked it may take longer then the others since I get LOADED with asks everyday (I have like 400+ rn due to my absents + not doing this at the moment because I’m trying to catch up first)

your ask was already done / I thought it was (I have TERRIBLE memory)

I accidentally deleted your ask

(note that you can ALWAYS ask again if you realize your ask hasn’t been answered!!)

SHOUTOUT!: @zodapack !! they’re my bestest friend and you should totally go follow them! :-)

im open for any QNA so dont be shy to ask!! Just send it through an ask or you can text me!!

that’s all I can think to put here for now so ENJOY MY BLOG!! :-) ❤️‼️

^ credit @meldrawzmoonz

[kaeyapilled]

What are some fics that you think are must reads for kaeya fans?

TEEHEE okay i think i have rec'd most of these before when i was asked for fic recs some time ago but its ok. here are the most kaeya fics ever in my opinion !

clouds in a lake by VelleRue

“Pot of butter,” Kaeya mumbles beneath his breath, eyes roving over the words. Alone, the words wouldn’t be very special. The shapes and sounds don’t scare him as much anymore, not like they did when he was new and wore shoes with torn soles and only knew how to say, My father told me he was going to buy grape juice.

Together though, they sound like the orange-yellow light of the oil lamp flickering in the corner. They sound like sticky fingers and bread rolls. Like a dinner table of three.

Cake and a pot of butter.

this one is so bittersweet and melancholic and i love all the headcanons in it and the way it's written oughhh it's a great read!! short but really good

stubborn roots by alexithymias

Kaeya’s plan to end his life is interrupted when Rosaria asks him to take care of a plant for a few days.

this one is heavier so definitely pay attention to the tags but, oh my god. this rewired my brain SO violently. i adore the concept and the characterization is really on point. it is so painful in all the good ways i like stories to be painful. i really recommend it!!

I'm gonna miss your love when it's gone by imaginarypasta

A selection of scenes from Kaeya's childhood related to his relationships with his fathers, and all they have led him to be.

im pretty sure ive rec'd this before but this is like, one of my favorite portrayals of kaeya and his bio father ever. its just so good. so delightfully sad. a breath of fresh air from the common headcanon that his father was an evil asshole. the kaeya & crepus bits are also really good and i like the author's hcs about khaenri'ah/the abyss SO much

not bad for a walk on death's doorstep by b_attery

Fear is a knife’s edge. Fear is a killer. Fear is how you know you’re still alive. Kaeya Alberich, not yet Ragnvindr, knew how to fear before he knew how to talk. As the heir to the regency of a dead kingdom, a spy-in-training to be sent to the surface world, as the last hope of Khaenri’ah – there were many things to fear. And later, as the Cavalry Captain of Mondstadt and a traitor no matter what he chose, Kaeya Alberich ex-Ragnvindr knew that as long as he lived, he would be afraid.

i have definitely rec'd this one before. but i just really love it!!! my comment on the bookmark says "literally the best kaeya character study i have ever read" and yeah that still holds up. shaped a lot of my kaeya hcs. i love this author

Hundred-Watt Light by pepperjuice

The first time the thought occurs to Kaeya he is eleven years old. Well, that’s not exactly true. It had been twisting in the back of his head for a long time, already. Formless and unspoken, an ever-present awareness, a whisper. But the first time it rings in his head, put in words, bright and shiny and just behind his eyes—

He is eleven. *** A story about ten years of contingency plans and holding your own hand. (Because how else are you supposed to live with a weight too big to hold all alone?)

OH I MUST HAVE REC'D THIS LIKE THREE TIMES BUT THIS IS REALLY A MUST READ. first of all heed the tags because it touches quite heavy topics! but this entire concept is SO interesting to be explored in kaeya's character and this author does it SO well..... this is one of my favorite fics, like, ever, lmao. absolute kaeya must read To Me

Lamellae by scripturient

A slowish movement in a discordant key, wherein Kaeya has bitten off rather more than he can chew and needs significant help; meanwhile, malady exposes buried memory and dread. A limited plot from a limited point of view which dabbles in themes of pain, trust, angst, conflict, and betrayal. Not quite a character study.

the writing style in this one is SO cool, i love it! non-linear narratives are my thing, i never get tired of it. and the whump in this is so good.. i like whump fanfiction, lol. the combination of characters in this is really fun as well, though everything is told from kaeya's very disoriented point of view. anyway, amazing exploration of his character!! the next work in this series, The thaw that comes in springtime (plus the next next work!), is also really good and i loved it, particularly the ragbros bit lol. another must read!

undertow / oversight by MercuryPoisoning

In which Kaeya gets by with a little help from his friends.

another one i feel ive rec'd before, but i love it. really good characterization!! especially his relationship with diluc!!! really good read. i love this author's stuff a lot lol. (bonus by the same author, and another one i consider a must-read even though it's still in progress and also way heavier than most of the previous recs: sleeping marble lion! i really like the writing style and the concept!!! pay attention to the tags but trust me it's a delightfully gut wrenching one<3)

whew. i think i have a few more i could have added here. i just went through my bookmarks lol i have read a decent amount of kaeya fanfiction. hope these are to your liking!!! fic rec'ing is one of my favorite activities

[sp1lled-lemon4de]

DO IT YOURSELF

Fandom : HMC(Howls Moving Castle)

Characters :Howl x Gn!reader x Sophie

Genre:smut

Warnings : Mentions of jackoff, hints towards hand job , slight degradation, begging , mirror fucking....

An: I love the movie so much tbh, and Howl is so so pretty and so ughhhh love him. ALSO IF YOU KNOW ME IRL GET TF OFF MY BLOGGG 😭💀 TYYY♡♡♡ 👍

______________________________________

"P-please " is all they could muster. Hand around their length as they continued to jack off.

Your figure sitting behind them one hand hugging their waist other in their hair tugging it and forcing them to look at the mirror placed Infront of them, forcing them to look at the oh so ever lewd sight

"Imagine how people would react to you fucking yourself."

"Your an amazing wizard so smart and powerful, Imagine what everyone would think of you."

"Poor you, youre too much of a coward, your so stressed that you cant get off by your self :("

His moans filled the air, looking at himself and hearing you talk to him like that made him even harder.

"Spread your legs wider." you demanded

And so they did.

"Faster" you cooed.

And so he sped up.

"L-love but what if the hear m-me" He moaned.

"And? They should know who you belong to." You whispered

Muffled moans and groans were heard from inside the room.

You wished Sophie was here and so did Howl.

Your beautiful girlfriend left to go to buy groceries, but oh you knew she would have enjoyed this.

Howl couldn't take it anymore.

His head was all fuzzy, his vision blurred, gosh and this feeling had him moaning and groaning out to the heavens.

"I-im close" he warned

"Humph, go ahead I don't mind"

Removing his hand and replacing it with yours you whispered sweet nothings to assure the man you loved him.

"Go ahead baby, cum on my fingers"

And thick, long , white ropes were released.

___________________________________

SORRY THIS IS SHORT OMG IM WRITING THIS AT 11PM IN THE NIGHT T-T WHERE MY SLEEP AT rn I'm so tired also my apologies for no rainbow tags too tired and my battery is at 3% ayo let me go n sleep

[flaneurpastel]

wanna write something about our favorite man but don't know what ? don't have any prompts ?

do not worry, im here.

im just a fellow reader, who enjoys a little too much angst and fluff with sad boys (simon im talking about you baby), so yeah i wanna read more, and the refresh button is now broken bcuz there isn't enough fics !!!! and pls free to tag me in your works, ill be glad to read it and everything <3 enough talking ;

AND it's not necessarily quality it's even cliché or seen and seen again, it's just what i would like to read cuz im a hopeless lover.

__________

PILLOWTALK !!! there is not enough of pillowalk scenarios here, not something long but like short and efficient pls pls pls pls

bonus if simon is slightly drunk, so he talks a little more, going so far as to voluntarily say stupid things to hear you laugh, or get a little kiss to make him shut up the nonsense cuz now he's being adorably silly, but hey, he loves it, so he'll do even more and maybe a make out session or idk maybe ... but drunk!simon needs to be studied fr

__________

MORE DOMESTIC THINGS TO DO TOGETHER! (and yes im screaming rn)

im thinking of when he calls reader from the bathroom to get help with his haircut. you know he can do it himself, he was doing fine before he met you. but something about having you so close to him, feeling your fairy fingers caressing his scalp, your bewitching smell. all these things make him absolutely need you. no need to explain more.

people, write domestic things, simon needs a little love and calm of a simple life. 😔

___________

something i saw with another character in another fandom a long time ago but it was so cute that i want, no

I NEED the same thing with simon.

when you need to go to the bathroom, or you're so sick that you have to spend hours and hours in it, simon always goes with you when you first move into your apartment together, to stay with you by the door. you always make small talk, and you're not even embarrassed anymore because it's become a normal thing in your relationship. but simon follows you everywhere, literally, because hey, you're the love of his life so why spend a minute away from you ?

___________

you and ghost had a fight when you came back from a mission that was dangerous for you. the team decides to go to a bar next to the base, to celebrate this mission that was still successful. and this, despite the obvious tensions between you two. the shots keep coming, the alcohol gets to your head, and the euphoria of the evening only enhances your beauty, which obviously attracts suitors to take you for the night. simon's reaction is up to you, jealous, angry, indifferent (but not too much)

so yeah, I need to see jealousy possessiveness hardness unconditional love (but not in a yandere way lol)

___________

your evening always ends in front of the TV together. to make an assessment of your day, to tell the last gossips, to take stock of the shopping at the supermarket to be done tomorrow whatever!

tonight it was the sound of the TV that won, you were both silent because very tired! but the caresses, your fingers intertwining, the glances in corner, and the shadow of a smile on the discovered face of simon were there more important than the broadcast program. it's innocent, loving, light, sweet, like a little game. it's like teenagers afraid to be discovered by adults. do you get the vibe ?

something cute, not necessarily nsfw, but AHHH im so in love with him why

____________

reader is annoyed with simon for x reasons (it's up to you), she starts to hit him on the chest, to insult him, the sobs mix with her anger and it becomes difficult to understand clearly what she reproaches to simon. this one, takes everything, says nothing, and makes everything to appear indifferent and impassive to his crisis of nerves, but in the bottom he is afraid and feels terribly guilty to have put his beloved in this state. accentuate on the difference of size and strength between the two, the blows inflicted to Simon are only vulgar small fags on the arm or the chest. how is he going to make it up to them ? is he going to try to calm reader down, or let them continue until they are exhausted?

______________

if reader's native language is not basic english, then I absolutely must see simon being in awe every time reader speaks their language. the admiration and love is in his eyes, whether he wears the balaclava or not, whether his eyes are painted black or not, everyone can see that he only has unconditional love which multiplies by ten (when it is already infinite) when he hears your beautiful voice saying words he doesn't understand.

bonus point if simon makes every effort to learn your language and communicate with you. if you listen carefully you will see simon whispering some words after you, while you are engaged in a conversation with someone.

_____________

you know what ? i would love to see a monologue from simon where he talks about reader (because someone asked if he had a partner) little anecdotes, his description of u (personality not physical so we want something inclusive!!!), but most of all HIS LOVE for us. cuz he's so in love, like the only time he talks surprisingly much is when he has to do a briefing of the missions, or when he talks about you, because you're such an amazing person and simon is so in love, and our baby has never received as much love and peace and serenity as he does with you, and does he really deserve it? to be with someone like you? to feel so good in your arms, to kiss you every time he meets your gaze, to lure him to show his colleagues, his friends, shit to the whole world love,

NO, AH, I don't have the words but the word love is now too weak to describe it all. in short you understand me.

[blighted-lights]

choose violence; 1, 3, 6, 9, 13

(for this ask here!!! im still taking asks for this, so feel free to send more in!)

1: Character Everyone Gets Wrong

going to name several here, just because i can lol. for idw, its tailgate, drift, arcee, getaway, and tarn. for tfp, it's airachnid and knock out. jazz gets hit with this HARD no matter what continuity he's in and it's so frustrating seeing most fanon interpretations of him, because a lot of it is just rooted in racism. that isn't saying at all that people are intentionally being bigoted ofc, but a lot of the headcanons that people assign jazz and the frequent mischaracterization of him is... well. it's weird. it's weird.

3: Screenshot or Description of The Worst take You've Seen on Tumblr

so im not going to pull out direct screenshots on this, but there is a LOT of back and forth about sexuality headcanons in the tf community, and holy fuck does it get annoying sometimes. im full believer in the idea that anyone can headcanon any character as whatever they want, don't get me wrong, but there is such a lack of consideration for others and boundary crossing when it comes to people going "you're wrong, actually, and here's several paragraphs describing why". this character cant be bi for yadda yadda, they cant be trans bc yadda yadda, they cant be ace bc yadda yadda, or they can ONLY be ace bc of whatever reason. it's happened to me, to several of my mutuals, it's happened to other people i see just randomly in the transformers tag. there's been several vague posts made about people disagreeing with other people's takes and its just,,, it's draining, ngl. maybe not the worst takes i've seen overall but definitely one of the most frequent that annoy me

6: Which Ship Fans Are The Most Annoying?

obligatory "not all fans of these ship are annoying, this is me generalizing from what i've seen" warning here, but i think mega/op and mega/star take the cake. and dra/tchet. this is largely because there's such a big separation between the canon and fanon versions of these characters that seeing a lot of the fanart and fic made for them is just,,, agh. i can't really recognize these characters as who they're supposed to be because they've been so removed from how they're presented in canon media. and im NOT saying you have to strictly adhere to canon. because fuck canon, lol. but it comes to a point where these aren't even the same people anymore. and i wouldn't even care about the canon/fanon thing if some of these fans weren't so idk. mean? aggressive? when it comes to their shipping and people not agreeing with what they ship/how they present that ship? it's absolutely calmed down in recent years, though.

also there's a fair bit of dra/tchet fic and art that is just. absolutely riddled with casual classism, orientalism, and anti-sex work rhetoric, and its uncomfortable. so i tend not to engage much with the fandom on it.

9: Worst Part of Canon

this is such a vague question because i could say so much here, but i'm just going to go with the very biased answer of the frequent condescending way a lot of the beastformers are treated throughout idw. like. these are people. canon wants you to believe that these characters are just as sentient and alive as everyone else but just, jeez. look at what ravage does throughout all of mtmte. being pet, drinking out of bowls, sleeping under megatron's bed, the visual gag of megatron gifting him a bone in one of the cover pages for the holiday special in mtmte, nautica handing ravage a little energon treat, everyone calling him kitty. it's just. agh.

13. Worst Blorbofication

idw tailgate and ravage. absolutely tailgate and ravage, though drift fits here too. tailgate is an arrogant asshole who has a violent streak a mile long. ravage is a bitter, snarky jerk who was, at some point, considering on killing megatron. they're both complex adults and fanon does somewhat have a habit of waving these things away.

[skrs-cats]

Loved mudclaws manga his interactions with clanmates and family members were so nice to see vs him in the main arc books we never got any of that just him being antagonistic oh man good luck it took me months to get through all the earlier books, i started at tpb and then went chronologically according to the events timeline on the wiki, it was fun but so time consuming, seeing snippets of the new books makes me feel like im missing out i wanna KNOW but i dont want to spoil myself too much se or novella set during pot3 when please erins i am BEGGING the only thing other than the arc books to happen during pot3 was a graystripe manga YEA i had to look on the wiki to find that i havent read all the bonus scenes i dont have the versions of the books with them and i forget to look them up most of the time lol, glad they stopped making them theyre a pain to find, i know it makes sense for jay and lion to not be as close anymore especially with lion having a family of his own but it bothered me that all these med cats who didnt even seem to like jay that much were the ones to help him, we didnt even get to see him tell lion about it </4 lion would have wanted to know about holly sometimes it feels like the authors dont like the characters 😭

i remember SPEEDING thru the books once i got my grubby lil hands on the pdfs, idk how long they all took to read but i think reading them so fast just made it all the more easy for me to muddle up details hkjhdskjfha if i ever get around to a reread i might just take my time on it. ALSO I FEEL YOU LOL. sometimes i go thru the wc tag and seeing people talk abt the new books gives me the same feelings HAJHAHA i just power thru it by drawing my po3 bastards (surprisingly effective) and go on w my day

as someone who's freshest memory of the recent arcs were snippets of the sibs Bonding and Caring for one another I REFUSEEE TO BELIEVE THAT JAY AND LION ARE NOT CLOSE ANYMORE IM DYING ON HIS HILL. the erins constantly play w my feelings like sometimes theyd drop these awfully sweet scenes of the two being affectionate w one another but then the bonus scene drops and im like... did u forget about lionblaze. wheres my MAN ToT i will also confess that my somewhat recent rediscovery of the bonus scene actually pushed me to make a comic where lion talks to leaf in starclan out of SPITE. but im working on it lol. IF THE ERINS WONT DO IT THEN I WILL

[wormlips]

The way I got into Thramsay, I was frightened at the thought of reading ff about them, even though I shipped the guys from Killing stalking — arguably not as whumpy. But, they were the most toxic pairing I’d shipped, up until that point. I had only ever watched GoT too, till recently. I thought the fanfiction would be darker, I think. But I was still intrigued, cause I did draw them on one occasion. Then like 5 years later, I came to check this tag on a whim, and had such a visceral reaction to some fanart on here. Long story short, I now strangely ship three pairings where one half of the ship kidnapped (“kidnapped”) the other. And two where one character has .. lost some bits. *whispers* how are there two?? 💀

Yeah it's funny how you can tell yourself 'im just going to take a quick look' and then fall head-first into things. like you never saw it coming but suddenly it's a part of your life

or dismissing a thing only to return years later and realize that it was right up your alley all along

Your ask made me write even more because like you I hadn’t shipped anything on thramsay's level before so i didnt have a good frame of reference what it might have been like but i were intrigued too and it's cathartic putting into words what i think makes them so captivating to me

I definitely had interest in toxic relationships with abusive and dark elements in it long before but none where one of them had literally removed body parts from the other. I think Ive always been on the softer side so I need (needed? Idk if i do currently) some sort of mutual feelings even if it is irrational or non genuine like people who cant help but still love someone who hurts them or the reverse - loves someone but cant keep from hurting them. The DA fic kind of pushed that to its limits but it contained some sort of lingering sentimentality amidst graphic descriptions of flaying and i was thinking you can do that??? Though in that fic the torturer had been corrupted by magic so their relationship had been normal at one point which separates it from thramsay. but it had been proven to me that ppl could justify* ”love” in horrible conditions that is interesting to read and i should stop writing but i went into thramsay fics to find out if someone had done so (also whatever else, i was fucking around to find out)

It just hits the spot i ❤️ characters being conflicted about their lover and i want to be unable to tell if the ”love” they feel for their counterpart is actually something else

even though i'm not particularly into show-verse thramsay anymore the best example i can give is the infamous bathing scene where ramsay asks if reek loves him and reek says of course with full conviction and it's like obviously it isn't true though reek might feel like he does because he has conditioned himself to have that response, he brainwashed himself to cope and for safety because he has to believe so ramsay can't find out he's lying but then if he thinks he feels it so much that he does............? how do we define real vs fake love an-... whatever i'm going too far we don't need a philosophical discussion of this rn

you can make it worse by switching between him being self aware of all this to fully believing he's always been ramsay's, the way he slips back into theon's thinking patterns in the book from reek's and anything inbetween until you have toxic sludge on your hands and furthest thing from a normal, healthy relationship

and even more fun if you do the same to ramsay, it doesn't have to be real love but it's such a clingy obsession and dependency, mutual belonging and the idea that he will always return so his closeness, his whispers will be likened to that of a lover because what else is there to compare it to *there's probably a better way i could put it but by justify i mean the author writing something that makes sense from the character's point of view. i don't want to be misconstrued

[liauditore]

Thought I might say hello and make some small talk, seeing that I'm camping on your trafficshipping tag and all.

Well hi! Lovely place you've got here. Fantastic art, GREAT vibes, very nice. I'm specially enjoying your character rambling; your takes on them are super interesting and they tickle my brain 👀

May I send Divorce Fource/Quartet and Majorwood for the shipping bingo? Divorce Fource were a right mess (affectionate <3) and a perfect one at that, but I can't help but wonder how the recipe would have turned out if the soul ties were Cleo-Pearl, Martyn-Scott.

Also there is so much potential in Limlife Majorwood for eroguro if you're nasty. Which I am. Time cannibalism, respawning mechanics, birthday time... blender go brrrr 👀

!!!!!!!

y'all are really enabling my habit of long ass posts huh 😭😭

OK SO first off thankyou so much?? thats so sweet?????? 😭😭 i really don't think my character ramblings are anything special, but i like reading other ppls insane takes so i thought i'd provide others with the same 👍

not to get too into it but i feel like a series like life smp is best enjoyed with your own crazy delulu takes (similar to touhou if anyone heres familiar w/ that fandom). and it makes me kinda sad to see ppl arguing abt whats 'canon' or 'correct' cus that's no fun lol

ANYWAY yeah uh im glad u like the vibes!! :J

TREEBARK

this one first cus chronology. I honestly don't know if there's anything I can say here that hasn't been said before? But yeah they're. tasty. something about martyn waiting the entirety of third life to betray ren and never getting the chance and now longing to have him back. lots of regret but regret. for what. yknow. and ren always looking out for martyn even from a distance. and then martyn losing that connection in limlife.

yeah i can see why people ship lmao

uhh i don't really know what else to write here so have some of my insane ramblings copy+pasted from my shipping doc 👍

Martyn fancies himself a schemer, someone who's not afraid to play the game the way it's intended. If that means earning a powerful ally's trust only to shatter it then he was going to do it. Only, Martyn's bark is worse than his bite, and every night he spends in lying awake in those soft, warm sheets that Ren had laid out just for him (freshly washed too, he might add. Smelled like sunshine) he wonders if he can do it. He can, of course. (he can't. he won't. he's too soft. soft and useless.) He'd cut his head off already. (he wants to vomit) (this is why no one needs you. wants you. loves you) Who cares about other people anyway? He is the only one who really matters. (the thought of being alone makes him want to cry) Ren, on the other hand, is a capable leader. The definition of loyal and dependable, if not a bit dramatic. He struggles with self-worth, being good enough, useful enough, powerful enough. But to others, he's the opposite, caring and protective of any who would ask for his aid. After all, every citizen deserves to live in safety and comfort, and providing that is what a good King would do. ~ Martyn's not as sneaky as he thinks he is. Ren knows. Ren sees the signs. It's a death game for a reason. But he doesn't let Martyn know. He doesn't even hold it against him. He doesn't see the bloodthirst anymore, only the broken pieces lying underneath. ~ or the King's Hand, it was the thrill of feeling Useful, Powerful, Feared (loved). He was going to miss it after he betrayed him, the high of bloodlust, the smell in the air as he charged into battle. (the way his hands held him so gently) For the King himself, deep down he knew it was never to be. He had met a monster, but he hoped his efforts calmed the storm ever so slightly. On some days, he pretends to forget about the death game entirely and imagines the speech he'd give to retire his Hand. "You don't have to fight anymore," he'd say, "I'll take care of you from now on, I promise. So put the sword down, okay?" But in the end, it was all a fantasy, wasn't it?

^ yes this is so cheesy but so are they.

Cry with me again Smile with me again Scream with me again Sing with me again Dance with me again Talk to me again…

"Lower One's Eyes" (Oktavia translyrics)

MAJORWOOD

I think.. I talk too much abt scott seeing as that's who everyone points out when it comes to my headcanons 😭😭 but uh i swear everyone else is just as messed up. and martyn is like. just as bad if not worse (if that wasn't made clear from my ramblings before)

anyway uh say it with me rebound 👏 relationship 👏

i think they're both.. very numb to it all once limlife rolls around. they're just tired and have this mutual understanding and both think they're horrible people. martyn just wants to play the game. scott doesn't even know what he wants anymore.

but ofc, they're both still human and want love and comfort, so they try to seek that from one another. even if it's fake. even if it doesn't matter in the end.

Baby, though I've closed my eyes I know who you pretend I am I know who you pretend I am

Washing Machine Heart (Mitski)

We’re the Delusioned Victim Cash-in Union Praise to the “love” that will bring salvation!  Two fools singing to a shallow melody Restart, reflation, teleportation Time and again we’re stuck in rotation Circles inside a love without any ending

MKDR (SirHamnet Lyrics)

Scott uses Martyn as a replacement for Jimmy and Martyn uses Scott as a replacement for Ren. they know they dislike eachother (see: all of double life) and that only one of them will make it out alive. but they can't get that love and comfort from anyone else now.

also uhhh eroguro my beloved...... im assuming this is getting brought up cus of my mentions of loving eroguro in the past. and yes to all of that very much i agree. but i do have kind of.. a limit to what i do w/ these characters specifically because of the fandom/ccs (at least publicly). if i ever do decide to share the nastier stuff in my head or go into detail on gore and whatnot i'd probs make a sideblog and tuck it away and maybe block scott and martyn for always somehow showing up on my posts lmao

[sigmaelxgr]

Hello!

3, 7, and 15 from the OC trauma ask game for any OC of your choice :)

heyyy its the sixth time im trying to answer this ask!! :D i think Tumblr cant deal the length of it? i dont know but i couldnt just NOT elaborate on this, the questions were so good!! im so glad i can share with you points of this dunmer called Sangre/Xangr (Sangre is the most common spelling but Tumblr prefered with an X) brace yourself, dearest, bc thats a LONG answer that awaits!! LETS GO

3 - Have they died before ?

YOU BEGAN..... With the absolute most banger question of the whole ask meme. I am obliged to elaborate on this. I'll tag @shadylex bc, dear, you may like it (pls answer the same ask for Yera) How do I state this... Xangr doesnt really know if he's alive. Well. There are clues you'd say! But this boy is not quite sure about that. Xangr feels like his body is not his. He feels like his face is stolen from another. He feels like his whole life is what living as a cancer would be. He asphyxiates in his own rotten flesh. He feels his bones rejecting him so hard they cramble like glass from time to time. He feels STUCKED HERE... Somewhere not at the right place, somehow caged here inside of the One this body belongs to. So, if this meat isnt his, if those traits arent his neither, who is he? What is he here for? Does he even exist, if nothing is his? He's born aged 11, when a boy named Sigma-El shattered. He's been throwned into the hell of existance without any explanation. Xangr had no name back then. He had no idea why, he had no idea what was happening, no context, no clue but he felt MAD, he felt spontaneously FURIOUS about existing, he couldnt talk without spitting his rage to everything. He learnt quickly to dispise living, the rage turning his gaze away from his body, that made him SUFFER without any reason to be found. Pain alterated his appreciation of the world. Xangr experienced suffering so hard he was blinded by it. Each fiber of his being tore him apart, so violently he would bite, bleed himself to feel relief...

Until years, and years later, free from the Telvannis and far from Vvardenfell that he fled in his desperate fury against everything, an Altmer called Cyriel took long months to establish a dialogue with him. It was at first chaotic, but Cyriel understood that this insane violence directed toward the outside found its source directly into core. Cyriel acknowledged pain. He acknowledged trouble, hunger for answers, wishes for loneliness, DISTRESS. He asked him if he has a name, HIS name, and Xangr, named Sigma-El back then, said "Sangre." (A red pigment, HIS fav color)

Now that he has a word to design himself with, he began slowly to live as such. It took years again for Cyriel and Xangr to explore the implications of this new statement. What Xangr is, what is his role here. Cyriel was a fantastic friend, such a nice character (I love him with so much tenderness) but even now with dawning of answers, questions remained and Xangr feelt deeper and deeper as a hack, a fraud, he understood that they are at least two and feelt existing as stealing Sigma-El's life.

Sigma-El is here, somewhere, asleep. He knows the day Sigma-El would wake up, he'd die probably in counterpart. It would be the day he's not needed anymore - and each time Sigma-El or what will become Molkhun Dahkem take on their body, Xangr experiences anguish of disappearance again and again.

He feels alive nowadays, when he's painting his skin, when he's sewing his dresses, when he's performing dances, when he's having sex, when he eats juicy fruits or kahjiiti tajines, when he hears the enchanting sounds of his jewelry... and even more after the Planemeld in which he heavily took part back then, as a Worm Cultist. He got so much into death, so much into self-destruction..!

Now that he learnt to accept their condition, to love Sigma-El, to love himself too, pain appeased a lot. Yet he's so scared to die and willing to live his own life, he knows the clock is ticking bc he disobeyed Coldharbour, he knows he has to enjoy seconds before Oblivion reaps him... Even if in doing so, he keeps his dear Sigma-El forcefully shutted down for a while.

Life...or even what feels like a simulacre of it... Is way too good. Way too precious. Way too much of a miracle.

So I'd say.

Yes, Xangr knows death. He knows existing and non-existing. That's why he's so eager to survive.

7 - How easy is it to make them cry ?

You won't be capable to. He even doesnt know how to do. It happens that he feels numb and his body sometimes craves for tears, but they dont fall. It's like he never learnt to do so. It remains stucked.

Its due to the fact that even if, now, its better than ever, he doesnt feel connected to his envelop. He doesnt feel connected to his own feelings enough to let them exist this way. First, he's not concerned about people's emotions at all and dont experience them the same way, but foremost he struggles to let them live. That's why his smile is beautiful but empty, Xangr has a pretty face but almost no active emotions going through it. BUT THERE IS AN EXCEPTION. This exception being Sigma-El. When Xangr focus on Sigma-El, when he puts his hand on his belly as he was bearing a child, there is a link that creates here. He's so deeply merged with Sigma-El that he fades crying when his soul reverberates the later's light. Sig is now everything to Xangr, it's his infant, his lovely dear, his life evolves only around him being asleep and needing protection... Xangr feels so much intimacy, so much spontaneous understanding when Sigma-El is there with him, it's too much to handle. Brushing Sigma-El with the very end of his fingers... Brings the euphoria, the joy of existing and suddenly having all the answers. He gets emotional each time he mentions him.

15 - Are they neurodivergent ?

Heck yes they are. They are a system of alters, the host being Sigma-El. Sigma-El as such have a lot of autistic traits he gave to Xangr when he "fell asleep". Xangr is stimming a lot, barely interested in social conveniences, looks blunt, has a taste for riddles and troubles interacting with people. He's very independant and most of the time he's a sweetheart that people learn to love. He has a passion for erotic novels - he seeks stimulation and likes everything that brings sensations to his numb body. He's a bit ADHD, like myself, and we share some similarities that have a funny history. As no psychiatry is available in the TES, I made of their multiplicity a subject of wonder. Cyriel for exemple has theories of what happened, explaining with prisms and light theories, Xangr is more of a "We are a triangle" boy - he explains using geometry... But only Sigma-El has the answers. Xangr consideres Sigma-El to be like a mini-god having the power to mold himself in aspects and shapes. Its why Xangr reveres no Divine ; he reveres Sigma-El.