#im not going to go with a modern tale JUST so one of my LIs can wear a slutty peasant shirt

[abelas]

not me writing an IF game and writing the spicy scenes first sdidmflkm

[voidwritesstuff]

The Stars have names.

(Part 1) A/N: this is a proof of concept for an original series of mine.Originally it was going to be a youtube series, but after writing this im not sure if thats the format i want to go with. Anyway,ill post this here and be done with breaking the immersion (if everything goes well, I'll post the other parts) Cw:abusive household, abusive parents, cults,body horror,religious imagery and pregnancy imagery.

>reblogs appreciated and encouraged.

I don't know if posting this here is a good idea, but I've realized I'm only putting people in more danger if I keep this to myself. My name isn't important,I know I’ll join them eventually, and by then I will have lost my sense of self. But let's get the main bits of information on the table. I’ve known my friend Orion for most of my life, he is originally from the town of Cometa, to this day he’s never told me where this town is,but I get the feeling I'll find out soon enough. 

That should've been the first red flag. One I never recognized until recently.

The second red flag was a little more subtle. He's always been enthusiastic about sharing his knowledge of space,it was his special interest and I always listened because I wanted to be a good friend. It was the way he spoke about it though,there was a casual, almost personal tone to the way he talked about stars, but especially about the planets.

“I know you’ll think it's silly, but they have real names. Not the ones we gave them, Venus,mars,saturn…It's hard to explain,My mom’s better at it but she isn't allowed to talk about it”

When I asked why she wasn't allowed to talk about it, Orion would shrug and say it was “grown up stuff” and he stopped mentioning it as we grew older.I didn't notice it when we were teenagers, I thought he had “grown out” of it somehow.

How wrong i was. How so very wrong I was.

I was supposed to go to Cometa town next summer, Orion was spending the holidays with me and my family, and before he left he had given me one of many manuscripts from the church his town has. I told him I wasn't interested in religion,but he begged me to read them, and I wanted to be a good friend- He's heard me ramble about every single character I found hot many times throughout our friendship,so I figured I could give in and read it.

After all, it's just religious text, isn't it? I remember sitting down one morning,we were snowed in and the sky was dark- I’ve never seen clouds so thick… And yet somehow one single ray of sunlight spilt into my room. It was unusually warm when I extended my hand towards it, and just as I was about to begin reading the lights went out.

Didn't think too much of it, it snowed like crazy, so there I went to sit on the sunny spot in my room for some proper light. The shadows seemed so much darker then, but I just took it as my eyes getting used to the ridiculous amount of light I was being exposed to. 

Isn't it crazy how much we deny odd things that happen to us? The text started as any religious text often does,with a long shpeel of poetic words, but then it turned into a journal. There are no dates, so god only knows when this happened-But it does seem quite modern for…Well you’ll see. I’ve also gone and added numbers to each part, it was hard when I first read it- and hey if you're going to go down a spiral of madness then at least I'll leave some road signs,I'm on my way out anyway. Consider this red flag number three, and your one and only warning to stop.

“ 

Church of Santa Madre de Luz Divina

Tale of Mother Sun. 

The stars have names

Not ones that mortals can utter.

Not in any language that you may speak or invent.

For these gods,us your makers, speak in tongues of divine creation,

destruction, light and darkness, that which lies beyond your minds

Broken from the ties of the planets that birthed us.

You behold my light,the one of your mother.

Of the supernova that gave birth to humans.And may the Harvester, though forgotten in time, 

come to reap your souls.

Only then shall you know the names of your gods. 

It may not look like it

But we have a plan for you.

[Entry 1] I had that dream again. I was floating in darkness for hours,days,millenia…There was nothing around me- I knew there wasn't anything for miles and miles. And then…light. Blinding light,searing heat that oddly enough didn't hurt my skin.

 I could only see things zooming past me, I could feel eons going by in the blink of an eye.

The darkness wasn't empty anymore,there were thousands upon thousands of little lights.I realized then, i was in space. But I didn't feel cold, I didn't lack oxygen. 

In a way, i breathed with the universe. I could feel the pulse of supernovas, of black holes eating and eating the darkness and turning it into,or taking it into, something I couldn't comprehend or fathom to.

Frozen in time, I couldn't move back or forth, to and fro, I simply floated and watched the existence around me begin to circle me. 

Yet it wasnt me,not me specifically. I turned to look behind me, because before me there was nothing- Like a sunflower bending to the light above.

And i woke up. 

The therapist said moving would help,that Cometa Town was perfect for someone like me. I want to trust Dawn’s word, she lived there most of her life before moving to Argentina. I guess she outgrew that town,i can relate to that

 Dawn had also said that these dreams meant that I was too stressed, feeling like the world was coming undone around me. And she wasn't wrong, after that fight with my dad i couldn't stand being around him. Piece of shit.I don't understand why my mom still thinks I should make up with him. I don't understand how she can still forgive him even after everything, he threw eggs at our door,he had threatened to beat up his parents,my grandparents, and back when they were still together he would argue with her until she couldn't stomach it anymore and puke.

I don't want to end up like her, compelled to forgive and live beside someone who has sucked away all life from me just because I seek acceptance.

Mom promised that Cometa town is nice,and i trust her word,or i try to- But i know she wouldn't’ve moved so far away,countries away, if this town did not speak spanish,she never puts in the effort to do something difficult.

Lord knows there are days where she makes me feel like a burden,every time i talk to her it feels like she’s ignoring me. All the praise I get usually are just one worded responses,an adjective she throws at me without looking up from her phone…

And as much as I try to hate her,I can't. In a way she’s still my mother, I spent months in her stomach,growing. It makes me wonder if I had not been born a month before I was supposed to,would she pay attention to me? Of course it’s a silly claim,but almost after twenty years of being left aside, I’m starting to grasp at straws.

I guess Dawn was right,I need to get some fresh air-I doubt i’ll get a break anyway, i still don't have enough money to move away. Still, here I go. Goodbye Argentina,Hello Cometa.

[Entry 2]

I fell asleep on the plane,no dreams, only peaceful rest… But I have to admit that it felt odd,like a part of me was missing. I felt so cold when I woke up,I usually feel cozy. Maybe it's just the AC of the plane…

Either way,I called dibs on the seat next to the window. I can see the clouds. It gives me vertigo, but in a fun way-Like I could be flying through the clouds like i was the sun… That image gave me peace, hope. It makes me excited to get to my new home,hang up all my posters and paraphernalia. 

I may even find a group of people to play D&D with on the weekends…

Maybe this extreme move is going to help.

[Entry 3] Cometa town is so pretty, gardens and gardens of flowers,there are parks with weekly fairs! It's good to know mom will have a place to sell her clothes, and I won't go hungry. I understand now why the therapist recommended this place- Aside from having a university of arts (with a career in film, How lucky!) And it has a cool name too: “Cosmos University of the Arts”.

 i will miss Dawn though- maybe i can find a replacement here? I don't know if it'll be the same…fingers crossed? Oh! and The sunset here was just as beautiful too, i can actually see the stars here. I begged my mom to eat dinner outside by the sunflower garden we have and she accepted. No TV,no background sound,just me and her…it's nice.

It would be nicer if she didn't call me by my deadname,though. I’ve told her plenty of times I go by Nova now, but hey- she still doesn't believe im bi,let alone accept I change my pronouns often, so maybe i'm just asking her for the wrong things.

But a new home,a new place, the same old sky… Maybe I should keep that in mind instead.

[Entry 4] Well, the dream came back.

But it's longer now, different. 

I saw that same darkness, that same explosion of light, but now when I turned I saw the sun (I expected it,it's the only thing that made sense). I expected the light to burn my eyes, but it didn't. Dream logic? I don't know.

Aside from actually being able to see what's behind me,I noticed something there, growing. Like a seed, looking for something,writhing. The sun was only a shell for whatever was growing in there. Yknow what it reminded me of? A baby, growing in the womb of her mother,kicking and feeling out the warm home she finds herself in. There was no better place for her, I was sure of it, I could almost picture what she looked like. 

Body made of divine light, elegant hands that have the opportunity to create,to destroy, I dare say even…artistic. The art of bringing beautiful things to life, the willpower to destroy the imperfections,the mistakes, even if it means throwing out a whole art piece and start from scratch

She's adorned with pure gold that glimmers like endless stars, clothes made of the softest fabrics the world could offer.

Yet..i couldn't see her face, it was either hidden from view or just consuming my whole range of sight. 

massive, she was massive, and i was about the size of a vein.

I saw her,whatever she was, take me in her hands and lay me to rest on her chest. I beat her heartbeat, I ate of her blood…it gave me such a rush. I felt..unstoppable, I felt myself breaking out of the shell I forced myself into just so I wouldn't get into trouble,that I would not be hit with my mother’s glare of disappointment that I don't fit her standards for “Being born a woman”.

When I woke up I felt…dizzy, I felt something churning in my stomach,my forehead felt too warm and it throbbed in a way that made me light headed,the sunlight that was falling on my face had this sparkle to it. 

Mom came over to ask me if I was alright,it was probably around mid-day when I woke up,which meant that lunch would be done soon and that she was waiting for me. I told her I felt ill and I wondered what had I eaten the night before for me to feel like my body was organizing a mutiny against me. And then I turned to my nightstand, saw my sketchbook opened and stained with chocolate from the wrapper I had tossed on it carelessly the night before.

. . . I need to stop eating sweets before going to bed.

[entry 5]

The dream’s been on my mind as of late, so I've tried to push it to the side by signing up for Cometa town’s university. I thought the bureaucracy was going to be endless,thankfully it wasn't- It was quite easy honestly, just asked for my personal data like name,birth date, ID and the like, it even had a “Preferred name” box i could fill up- It made me happy to know i wouldn't have to use my deadname. 

Aside from that I've tried to distract myself by walking around the town, it has a very low crime rate so my mom’s not worried about letting me wander off. It's a nice change from the constant fear of being robbed i had back in Argentina, doesn't mean I don't miss my home though. I miss it terribly,but there's not much I can do but to wait for winter break to visit them again (well,it's winter break for the town- back home it's a ripe,ripe summer. I'll be cooking my ass off while the town lives it up in the snow,lucky)

But back to the walk i took, i wrote down a few places i’d like to visit next time The mall (obviously, it has a bunch of stores,fast food restaurants and even an observatory- I’d say it's a weird addition to the mall but i don't complain, i really like seeing the stars), Also the parks it has to offer, the town center and the one thing that caught my attention  the most was this church- I wouldn't know the exact architecture style, but its grand,well decorated and so,so tall and old. I think I saw a telescope peeking out from one of the windows in the main tower. 

Hopefully I can visit it soon? Maybe tomorrow will be fun. 

[entry 6] After lunch I went to the church, the place was mostly empty (i figured, i mean i did go right after i finished eating lunch) and honestly it made it all the more personal. Hell,even the priest wasn't there roaming around and doing whatever priests do.

But I did meet someone there, they had male features, a chiseled face, olive eyes and pretty reddish brown skin. They were dressed in goth clothes (and fashionably so) so it didn't surprise me to see them at the church.

 And in my ogling I noticed their jacket was packed full of patches, I could see the one on the right side of his arm, it read “Still a planet” With an embroidered image of Pluto. I couldn't help but snicker at it They introduced themself as Callum,they looked at me like I was some sort of long lost friend  and asked me if I was new around town. I told them that I was and that I had moved in just a few days ago. I could notice the slight hispanic accent in their voice and I asked them if they spoke any Spanish, they said yes and we got to talking in my mother tongue. 

It made me happy to know they liked my vest, I couldn't help but think that a punk and a goth went hand in hand. Both appeal to the darker side of the world, for them it was the macabre,the things that go bump in the night. And for me, it was all about how the system was always against you,how the world seems to orchestrate in a way that no matter what you do, you’ll always be on the wrong side of things. Damned if you do,damned if you don’t.

Callum was fun to talk to,I appreciated that since I haven't been able to meet my neighbors yet. I mean I just got here,but I wish I had someone else to talk to that isn’t my mom or includes me sending a text to my friends back in Argentina. 

Here's one of the conversations I had with my new “Acquaintance”  (translated from english to spanish to keep my privacy. wouldn't be surprised if i left it open some day and my mom reads it out of curiosity):

“So..Why visit the church of all places?” they had asked me as we entered the large cathedral

“Well just getting to see the town really, but i saw it and i knew i had to enter and at least take a peek- I like making art, and i was hoping to draw some of the things around the place” “You make art? that's cool” They smiled with this child-like excitement “I make murals, i go to the university here” “Dude no way,I signed up for the studies in film career!”

“Then we’ll see each other more often, that's good” We introduced each other properly then, they told me about their family and I told them why i moved away- I skipped a few details because i couldn't exactly just drop the fact that i had to move because my father was a manipulative piece of shit. 

When we got to the altar section, I hadn't noticed until then that the Vitraux behind the pedestal were not of God or Jesus, instead they were of these massive beings of cosmic light. 

And right in front of me was her.

Being of divine light, hands extended towards me, holding the world in their palms, her face got lost in the bright burst of light portrayed on the glass. Shades of red,orange and yellow spilled across my face and in my half blinded state I could swear I saw bright eyes staring back at me. It made me jump back out of reflex, i blinked the light away and turned to see if Callum had seen me embarrass myself like that- 

But they weren't. 

They were staring at another vitraux, a being of pure darkness and ice, candles of blue flame serving as shoulder pieces with their melted wax with gold jewelry over its shroud. And in the center of their chest,like a ribcage, stood the alchemical symbol for Pluto. Underneath it was a simple plaque that read “The Harvester” It gave me the idea to see the plaque beside it, “Father moon”. Above it stood a vitraux of a male figure with a shawl of stars, a crown of night and time on his bursting face of moonlight. He was holding his hands close to his chest where the alchemical symbol for the moon stood carved in pale gray as he grasped an old sun clock.

Out of curiosity I looked back at the one in front of me, I could still see The Harvester and Father Moon in the corner of my left eye. The plaque underneath the divine lady of sunlight read “Mother Sun”

“You’ve seen ‘em too?” Callum asked out of nowhere, I jumped from my spot as if I was broken from a trance. They looked at me with what seemed like fear and utter dread.

“Excuse you?” They pointed at the vitraux i was looking at “Her,You've seen her” With how they looked at me, i knew lying wouldn't do me any good “Yeah” I Had replied with a slight tremble in my voice “I have” My eyes couldn't meet theirs, I was too ashamed and startled. In my avoidance I noticed that Callum’s jacket had an embroidered patch of Mictecacihuatl, the lady of the dead in Aztec mythology.

“How?” they asked,sounding adamant that they get an answer.

“dreams, you?” something in me pushed me to answer,even if i felt like their question was a little too weird and out of pocket “same” 

I blinked at the sordid nature of it. How could I dream of something that I have never seen before? But before I could question that bitch of an existential crisis,We heard shuffling steps from behind us, we turned to see a priest- Old,old man with a wrinkled face, dark black eyes that gleamed with..satisfaction? “May I help you with something?” The old man asked, His voice raspy and with a warmth that felt too unnatural- Like he's trying to overcompensate. I raised my brows in surprise,his voice sounding so familiar, like I heard it in a distant dream.

“No” Callum sounded harsh, they took my bicep and began tugging me along out of the Church,but before they left my sight i read the two other plaques beside Mother sun: “Sister star” and “The Oracle” They didn't speak a word until we were well away from the church, they sat me down at a bench and looked at me like somebody had died. 

“I thought there was enough of us already” They whispered, afraid that the trees would grow ears and listen “What?” “There's 3 more others just like you, like us.-Probably more” “Callum, you're not making any sense” “Listen to me,Nova. The stars have names”[entry 7] I came back home late after that, Callum insisted on walking me home and we did so in silence. It felt uncomfortable, like the lack of literally any spoken word was digging under my skin and getting into my bone marrow,expanding it uncomfortably. 

Before our weird ass conversation,I actually got along with Callum, like i’ve known them all my life or even well before that…It was odd but..comforting.They’re the first friend i've made since moving here.

They bid me goodbye with a kiss on the cheek, I didn't think too much of it since it's a common way to greet each other back in Argentina- Us latinos are a mixed bag of customs after all. 

As soon as I stepped in, My mom was up in arms about where I had been. She was cooking as she yelled at me for being out so late, I told her she needed to calm down and I reminded her about how Cometa town had almost no crime rate. 

She glared at me and told me i was just as irresponsible as my father, it made me so angry, it scorched me that she would compare me to my dad, only to turn around and tell me i should make peace with him- She still somehow believed that it was my fault that i fought with him, and not that he looked at me in the eye and said “You're the worst daughter a father could ask for”. It was a petty argument, i don't remember what we were fighting about anymore, In that moment,rage blinded me and I just wanted her to hurt, and before I could wallow my rage,she yelped and jumped away from the oven.She had burnt herself with the flame of the stove.

After that i went to my room, i was so mad and so,so tired. I am exhausted from having to dance on the edge of being a golden child and a scapegoat martyr. I would never be enough for her, and that was starting to dawn on me. 

I get that she was worried,that she feared something happened to me- But there are better ways to say so. It makes me sad she never seems to treat me like an actual human.

[Entry 8] I fell asleep as soon as I went to bed.I had consciously forgotten about Callum’s explanation, but a part of me didn't.

As i drifted endlessly on the edge of sleep, i remembered everything my new “Friend” had told me

“ Listen to me,Nova. The stars have names. Not the ones we gave them,Venus,Saturn,pluto. None of that bullshit. They are gods, born from the planets we know, they're only shells of shattered womb,they have no life in them.” “But there's life on earth” I had said “Because they needed a place for their servants to live. Thats us” “And why should I trust your words?” Callum seemed a little amused at my flabbergasted expression

They scoffed before continuing to talk “The whole town is in on it. They are a cult,im sure of it” “How do you even know this stuff?” “I moved here three years ago, my family and I had been practically chased off from our home in Mexico. The bosses of my parents had fired them, I suddenly became the worst student in my school and got kicked out. My buddy Byeol and Archie had been offered a scholarship to the university of this town- This very public university.  A scholarship.” they made a pause to steady themself, it felt like they were just word vomiting right now. “Did nothing weird happen to you before you came here?” They continued with a slight anger to them, not directed at me but at whatever was supposedly tugging the strings of this weird cultish plot. “Nothing that feels too much like a coincidence?” I remembered how Dawn had been raised here, how she said the homes here were really cheap,especially to immigrants.Something about a benefit from the state. At the time I doubted it, this country is as capitalist as it gets-Not to mention its clear distaste for non natives. But then we checked and it was an actual thing,so I didn't think too much of it since I just figured my biases had gotten the better of me. 

“How do you know this?” I asked.

“I know this because I saw it. In my dreams” They raised a finger before I could manage to retort “Let me ask you this, have you heard of any of the gods we saw at the church?” “No,but it could be a niche religion” “Okay then,what about your dreams?” Truth is I was ready to jump on the conspiracy bandwagon,Too soon? maybe. But my mind was looking for a reason to doubt all these good things in my life, a part of me wouldn’t let me accept the nice things that came to me. There is a reason I go to therapy after all.

“see?” Callum added,taking my silence as the answer they needed. “Why would you tell me this?” “Because you're the missing piece. I told you there’s more of us, my friends all had dreams with the gods we saw back there”They answered “I could see you were staring at Mother Sun, so that must be who you see in your dreams, am i mistaken?”I shook my head. “I don't know what they're planning”they continued,sure there was something else unraveling, “i don't know why they want us but it can't be good. This town is too perfect, it makes me sick. Nothing good can come from this,i can just feel it”

I sat there in silence and looked at the floor. I didn't know if I could believe them.A cult? really? And why was I the missing piece? “Then why don’t you leave” “We have nowhere to go, all the times I’ve tried to convince my family to get out something big like a promotion would happen and suddenly my word wasn’t enough”

My heart sank to my feet. ‘No matter what you do, the game is always rigged ’ I thought. “And you haven’t told them about all this?” “I did, but they say that it’s just a product of how our leave from Mexico unfolded”

They say that when you wear rose colored glasses,all red flags are just..flags. Me included, I felt like their whole speech just now was the ramblings of a madman. But they had just enough credibility to them that it made it hard for me to fully reject it.

I sat there in silence for a while,processing everything I had been told. I don’t know if Callum was staring at me,I completely zoned out for a few good minutes. All I could see was that goddess,I could feel her tugging at me somehow,she was eager. A sigh made me snap out of my thoughts, I looked up to see my companion’s face and for a moment I swear they looked incredibly gaunt “Sorry,I know it's a lot to dump on you” they had said with a soft voice and a meek look in their eyes.

“thats the understatement of the fucking century” They scoffed and offered to walk me home as compensation for the wild ride. They also gave me their phone number just in case.

And truth be told I was ready to leave it all behind and make a mental note to never talk to Callum again.

But then I had to fall asleep.

I found myself in the dark expanse again, I knew the drill of creation and destruction, worlds coming and going,and when I stood before the planets spinning around me, I started to notice something. Each planet had a massive crack in the middle, they were creaking and groaning with pain. I could hear their labored breathing as whatever was crawling out of them began to split their shells apart. Like tearing open the placenta that held them. The celestial bodies that house them scream in pain and agony, a horrible choir of death as beings of immense scale rise before me.That same man made of moonlight and time rose from the smallest natural satellite, he was the first one…

I saw him and the sun behind me dance in eternal bliss, with each step I could feel the ripples of space bending, breaking what remained of the planets that only followed the orbit of the giant,divine woman. Though I could never see their faces, there was no face to see. 

Or perhaps I was afraid of what I would behold if I stared at the sun for too long.

Mother Sun looked down upon me and I turned away. I could feel her burn a hole through my skull, only stopping when Venus splits open with a screeching choir,birthing a woman with the face of pure starlight, grand insectoid wings that flutter curiously. Then Neptune cracks open with a tidal wave, allowing a large female figure to slither out of it. She had past and future in her eyes- were those her eyes? her face was a gossamer shine that reflected fractals and fractals of what could be or had been. 

And long forgotten in time, Pluto is the last one to be born. Cold in the endless vacuum, creaking of bone against bone, feeding from the corpse of his mother, A shrouded figure stood impossibly tall, curling into itself. 

More were missing, I Knew that-She knew that. 

But I couldn't see the other planets from just how bright she shone in the black void. 

Unwilling to look at her, I tried my best to fight her. I wouldn't let her burn my eyes, I don't want to face whatever turned its wretched gaze upon me. I would rather be disintegrated into ash, because when she forced my head to snap to her, using her massive hand to twist me like a doll, I saw my face in her shine. 

I woke up screaming,tears falling down my cheeks before I managed to be conscious enough to let them flow. [Entry 9] My mom ran into my room,asking me if I was okay. I told her I had a nightmare, and that I'd be fine. I never talked about my dreams,so she wasn't surprised I didn't want to talk about it. She hung out with me in the kitchen as I made myself some tea. I didn't have the strength to look at her bandaged arm,did I cause that? When she saw me a lot calmer, she returned to sleep. And I decided I had to talk with Callum about all this. 

Before I knew it, I was sneaking out of the house and embarking on a midnight adventure with a person I just met, to talk about eldritch beings and horrors. Life really is the gift that keeps on giving.

They took me to a restaurant. “Nebula Dinner”,read the perfect, 50s style neon sign. By this point it's like the town wasn't even bothering to hide it…

“So..”They began once we sat down in the booth placed on one of the corners of the establishment “Do you believe me now?” I snarled at how smug they sounded “Yes” “Good,because it's only going to get worse”

“jeez, how sunny” They shrugged and put their forearms on the table,leaning in a little and using them as support “Tell me about the dream”. And tell them I did, I spared no detail, and it felt oddly nice to be able to share this with somebody other than my therapist. They listened attentively and even went so far as to hold my hand when I began tearing up again. “..why? why us?” I had asked with what little voice I had in me.

“Your guess is as good as mine”They replied, trying to sound nonchalant about it,but I could tell that in a sense, this was like reliving his own trauma. “Look, My dreams started a few months before I moved to Cometa, same with Archie,Byeol and Sammira. Tell me if that's not a cosmic coincidence” I flinched at the word “cosmic” and they apologized. 

To my credit, I did try to process everything I had heard. And I failed miserably at it. My brain ran itself in circles trying to reconcile with the idea that gods existed, and that for some damn reason I was suddenly chosen by one of them. 

I still couldn't shake off that feeling, like i was breathing alongside somebody, my head buzzed and i still felt like my brain felt like it was being pushed into two different directions. The images are so clear even when it had been just a few hours since I woke up.

A sigh left me as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes,I could have used some more rest-But the thought of having to face that thing again terrified me. “I like god do not play with dice” I quoted, hoping that one of my many vocal stims cheered me up. “And i do not believe in coincidence” They had finished, smiling at me “V for Vendetta”

“You know it?It's a bit old” “I have the compilation of the whole series back in my house,” They answered, clearly enthusiastic about it. “Hey,let me get you something to eat, my treat- We shouldn't be thinking about this without food in our stomachs” “It's like two am” They shrugged and said “Early breakfast,i guess” And I couldn't help myself and said “What about second breakfast?”“I don't think he knows about second breakfast,Pippin '' They answered without missing a beat, accent and all. Suddenly all the tension in the air dissipated as we both laughed,I shook my head at the absurdity of it all, and I gladly accepted the offer of food. 

Even though I knew there were a lot more things we needed to discuss, I let it pass by. I needed to feel normal again for a few minutes, and I wouldn't deny this moment.

Callum waved over one of the late night staff, Her name was Solana and she was Callum's older sister. They introduced me to her and we both ordered something to eat after she handed us the menu.

We spent the night talking about comics,movies and games. It felt nice to be a normal twenty something again.

[entry 10] Callum had spent the night at my house, they promised they would sneak off in the morning. It was sunday so my mom would leave to work at the fairs in one of the parks. They said they knew how hard it was to deal with these nightmares, and they wanted to keep me company through it all.

If I had not experienced the worst nightmare of my life, I would've said no. But I didn't want to spend this night alone, I didn't feel safe being on my own. I feel like these dreams will eat me whole, and I can begin to feel something crawling inside my chest already. 

When i woke up Callum was gone as they said they would, they had left me a text saying we could hang out later or grab lunch. My home didn't feel safe anymore,it felt like the sunlight was so bright it was eating away all the color,all the life my house had.I accepted their offer in a heartbeat, at least walking through the town I could forget and ignore the shifting shadows out of the corners of my eyes, and how uncomfortably familiar the sunlight felt on my skin, like it was trying to embrace the deepest part of me and for that it needed to tear and carve through my skin,my muscles and straight past my bones.

My new friend wasn't faring any better, they felt incredibly cold to the touch, they avoided being in the shade for too long and they had ripped off their patch about Pluto and we did not talk about our dreams,or what this “cult” might be up to. And it wasn't even out of worry that we could be eavesdropped upon. It was pure,sheer fear of what it would mean if just like the planets, something was growing inside of us. 

There was a pull underneath my skin, i could feel it writhe under my intestines,slithering and weaving itself through the pores of my sternum…And as much as i tried to push it away, it would only fade when during our walk we came across a second church,identical to the one we had seen on saturday. “Another one?” I asked confused

Callum nodded“To the other minor gods,Madame Jupiter,Sir Kaos,Professor Mercury and Saint Saturn”

“Those are weird ass names” I tried to joke,relieved that i suddenly felt like myself again “I didn't choose them” He chided “But yes,weird” “I'm kind of curious to see the inside” “That's how horror movies start. We’re latinos,we’re supposed to know better” They joked with a slight smirk

“Well i have some white in me,my grandma’s italian, I can be a bit stupid,as a treat” “If you die in there i'm not retrieving your body” “mean”

Making fun of it did help to ease the tension that had been growing like a weed inside of me.It felt like me and Callum had known each other our whole lives, that there was no need to put our words through a filter. I was going to tug them along to see the interior, but we saw one of the nuns come out from the church, she was looking down at the ground,minding her step. Then she looked at us for a few,long seconds and smiled wide. She raised her hand to wave at us, and we looked at eachother and promptly walked away. 

What disturbed me the most is that i felt like i knew her,I knew the sound of her voice even when i have never heard her speak. Just like the old priest I saw at the other cathedral. I felt like i had heard her call my name, which one i didn't know, it made me dizzy trying to figure it out and i was already dealing with feeling watched- Callum kept glancing back and i knew then i wasn't the only one that felt like that

Honestly,If i had not dreamt what i did,i would have chalked it up to paranoia…

But then I looked up straight at the sun. I expected the shine to burn my eyes,but it didn't. I had hoped I'd blind myself for a split second just to confirm something that wasn’t clawing at me at that moment.

Dread settled,my chest felt tight and I felt like the gold light that spilled across this world cupped my face and forced me to face its creator.

The sun was staring right back at me, beckoning me closer.

[entry 11] I woke up a few seconds after,I felt something cold against my back, hard like wood and somebody holding me. Slowly I blinked my eyes open and met the face of Callum, they looked concerned,sweaty, and I could see past them a gray ceiling of carved rock and stained glass.

“How are you?” They had asked,voice shaking.

“Im,..okay? what's up with you?” Before they replied, I heard a raspy, gravelly voice say “Ah,so good to see you're okay” The unnatural welcoming in this male voice made my bones uncomfortable, I felt them pushing against my joints trying to escape. I wanted to peel each strand of my muscles only to distract myself from it. 

There stands the priest we saw at the church with the vitraux of the main gods of this cursed pantheon, he opens his arms and says “Our Mother can be quite stern if she wants to, sorry for that. But i have the feeling you’ll soon grow on her” He made a pause,to then clear his throat “Sorry, I meant to say she’ll soon grow in you” 

I turned to Callum, who tried to put themself between me and the priest “Callum, what the hell is going on?” Callum turned back briefly to me, they pursed their lips and their eyes looked wild with their pupils as small as a dot “Remember how i said I didn't know what they were planning?” I nodded “...I have the feeling we’re about to find out”

The old priest smirked, his eyes glimmering like the ones of a predator “Don’t worry,we won't hurt you”

“You should hear him out” Came a woman’s voice I knew quite well. Dawn stood there in the same clothes I had seen her wear in our last session together,with a smile so big like she was a kid in a candy store. “I know it's hard to accept good things,especially with everything you’ve been through,but this community welcomes you,both of you, with open arms” She offered a hug,spreading her arms. Her face twitched as if it hurt to grin like that but she couldn't stop.

 It reminded me of how sometimes people would feel euphoria when experiencing something divine… We both began to hear multiple sets of steps,we’re surrounded by nuns,townsfolk. They all seem to revere us,and it dawns on me.

“After all, how dare we strike our own gods?”Finished the priest. They had handed me this journal,my journal, to write everything since my midnight meeting with Callum. They say that I had written their holy texts once before, and that they eagerly await the gospel of their mother…

I don't know why they returned me home,why keep up appearances? they had us at the church… 

But then in came my mom,all excited telling me about how she had a really good day at work, how she could give me some money to buy myself something pretty. I wouldn't put it past them to harm my mother if I told her about all this? Would she even believe me? Right now i can hear them outside my window, it's a gloomy day, rainy and horrible,almost pitch dark, they hide in the shadows, they are whispering and awing at my writing. Callum is here with me, just as scared as I am. 

“Why?” I ask out loud,hoping for an answer, and I get none. 

My mind drifted for a second to Callum,their family,their friends.

Friends..

Oh no, There's more like us.

More…vessels? seeds? What are we? Who the hell are we?

 I feel now the sun shining down on me. its warmth uncomfortably pressing under my skin,through tunnels already carved straight to my soul. I turn to Callum, they sit in the darkness at the edge of my bed,their back against the mattress, their head hung low. The hood of their jacket is pulled up, I can't see their face, and I don't think I'd see any if they turned to me. 

I can feel her crawling up my nerves,up my spine. My head feels dizzy and my face feels incredibly hot like I'm feverish. ‘You’re loved here,don’t you see?’She whispers ‘You won’t be ignored here, you won't be a scapegoat,a martyr. You can be that golden child, the saint you know you are’

Tears begin to fall down my face,staining the pages of the journal. She makes it sound so sweet. 

‘Finally you can rest. Why fight against the system?Why don’t you..we join it? we can change it together. We can make something out of ourselves’

I look at Callum, shivering and talking to themself under their breath. I can’t hear them,but I can see their breath condensate.

“I think we’ve known each other for a while” They finally said,soft voice barely carrying over the whispering horde outside.They offer their hand towards me as I hear the creaking of bone against bone, scraping like nails on a chalkboard. Their teeth clack together as if there's no gums,no tongue to soften the impact.I see that their fingers are thin and their skin is barely sticking to their bones.I take it,finding solace in their touch.

I don’t want to be alone. Not again, not ever again.

“We do,don't we?” I replied. 

Everything seems clearer now,like sunlight after a storm.

“Do you know my name?” “I think I do,do you know mine?” “i do” “it's good to see you again,Harvester” “it's good to bask in your radiance again,Mother Sun”

[entry 11]

“Church of Santa Madre de Luz Divina

“Heed my words oh servant

For my light will guide your path.

Like it always has during eons past.

I never left,for you still revolve around me

Even if my body hangs limp in the sky.

Like a child within my womb,you writhe and call for me.

Heed my words, you who have waited for our return…

The stars have names.

Not those you could even fathom to pronounce.

We have walked amongst you now.

We have lived what you have.

So welcome this new era.

Welcome us anew.No longer forgotten

And don't fret

for we have a plan for you”

[End of journal] I can see her, through the dark. The sky is looking back through the gloom.

Her light burns me.

My mother is calling. 

But I can't give in,not yet, not now. There's four more documents like this,I can transcribe them if any of you want to kamikaze yourself into insanity with me. I’ll be here waiting,patiently. Either way,I know now that no matter what I do, the sun is always watching me,the moon knows all my secrets and in the cold night outside I can see the harvester waiting for me, tapping on his scythe with his candles burning blue.

[aynanasstuff]

hi angelll <3 :)

so I watched the music video of ang laga de and I- if you’re writing for spence can you do a forbidden lovers au where they decide to get married, with heaps of smUt too >:)

I literally can’t get that kiss scene out of my head help-im literally a slut FOR IT please write in a kiss scene like that I’m BEGGING

@lil-stark HI ANGELLLLL OH HELL THIS ASK HAS BEEN HAUNTING ME FROM MY INBOX BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANNA DISAPPOINT YOU BUT I FINALLY GOT AROUND TO IT AND IT KINDA TURNED INTO ITS OWN THING! i hope you like it anyway, it's not the most smutty :( (aaj kuch smut aa hi nahi raha tha dimaag mein 🥺) so in conclusion, I did something and you're going to have to deal with it lmao I'm SORRY

________

Nothing Changes// Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: You were Cat Adams' accomplice. Spencer still falls in love with you and you now call him your husband. How will his team react?

Warnings: smut, allusions to Spencer's wheel of trauma, forbidden lovers trope

masterlist

_____________________________________________

Spencer knew this was wrong. He still went all in- eyes wide open, heart beaming.

You knew this was wrong. You still went all in- eyes wide open, heart beaming.

The stars were wicked with the way they planned your lives. A tale as old as time really, as old as the capulets and the montagues. But this wasn't fair Verona.

This was modern day Virginia.

Being Cat's former best friend wasn't your proudest label. She was everything a person shouldn't be. Manipulative, selfish; she preyed on people who didn't deserve it. You saw through it but you were too late. She'd already got you in a jam, tangled up in her lies.

But in a twisted way, that's how you met the love of your life. You were doing time for something you didn't even know you had a hand in, an elaborate plan Cat set in place so she could have you do her dirty work without you even knowing. However, knowingly or unknowingly, you were guilty in the eyes of the law and you were sentenced to five years in prison. But somehow, it was reduced to two years and with good behavior, you managed to make it out six months early. Upon release, you realised it was Spencer who fought for you. Call it empathy, projection or just a genius at work, but apparently the man didn't take a single second off of working on your case. Something gnawed at him to believe your innocence. Spencer had first hand experience with the utter despondency that comes with being caged despite not deserving it. But it didn't stop people from believing you were just as bad as Cat, just as cruel and conniving. People in the BAU still thought you couldn't be innocent, not as irrevocably as Spencer thought. The attacks on your character hurt, but at least you were free.

Spencer met up with you after you were released. That one meeting led to many such meetings. Maybe he was drawn to broken birds, just like you were- wings clipped but still so beautiful. No one would guess that you'd fall apart together, that you'd fall apart over and over till you were shaking and moulding into each other, dying to reach a closeness that you couldn't put into words. No one would know that in each other, you reached there.

This wasn't the exciting love that people talked about, the sneaking around was not teenagers at rebellion. It was a quiet love, passionate nonetheless, but quiet. Because who knows, it was a wish that you could not speak out loud because what if it's snatched away? What if Cat ruins this? What if her presence in your past, in Spencer's past, ruins a life you wanted to build together?

So you kept quiet. Your childhood dreams of a big wedding were exchanged for a peaceful one, one without judgement. It was a hard decision. It was the right decision.

________

His hands entwine with yours next to your head, your whines making his hips rock faster. Your breathless release makes him burrow his face in your neck, his grunts telling your that he's close to the edge. "Let go, Spence, let go, baby." That's all the coaxing he needs.

The next moments are spent in silence. Breaths lulling you to a calmness that can't be found outside these four walls, not for the both of you.

"You ever wish we could have more?" Spencer asks, your hand taking through his curls as caresses your collarbone.

"More?"

"Yeah, more. More freedom, more support, more love? Do you ever wish we didn't have to hide ourselves because of what others might say?" Spencer says quietly.

You sigh, "Honey, I have all I need. I'm content with you. More would be nice, but it's not necessary. Do I wish we didn't have to go through so much to find each other? Yeah. But in a weird way I'm grateful that we did. What's this about, love?"

"I think they know."

You freeze, before asking, "Your team?"

"I don't think they know about you but I'm sure they know I'm hiding something important."

Your heart threatens to beat out of your chest but you contain it, "I mean, we have been married for almost a year and they are profilers after all. They could've put it together."

Spencer tightens his hold on you, "How do you feel about that? What do you think happens if they find out?"

You continue playing with his hair, the action calming him, "They find out, we probably have a bunch of judgement to deal with. But they are also your family so maybe it won't be as bad? And we're committed to each other, even if they don't react the way we want them to, nothing about us changes. At least I hope it won't. It won't, right?" Your ask in a small voice.

Spencer raises his head and places a kiss to your forehead, "Nothing changes. No matter what, we're gonna be okay, okay?"

You nod, "Do you want to get ahead of it? Maybe we tell them ourselves. It breaks our little bubble but at least it comes from us."

Spencer looks into your eyes, "Are you sure? Because sweetheart, this might not go well. I don't want you to get hurt." His palm cradles your face and you nuzzle into it.

"Spence, I'll be okay. I'm okay if we tell them, I'm okay if we don't. As long as I have you I'll be fine, baby." You smile softly. "Let's sleep on it, okay? We can talk about it in the morning?"

"That sounds good." Your lips meet for the last time that night and your eyes close to a slumber.

________

Morning comes to you in the form of your husband. He places kisses on your face, waking you up. You open your eyes, blinking them to adjust to the light. Your hand reaches to cradle Spencer's face, lowering it to kiss him.

"Good morning, Spence."

"Good morning, sweetheart." He rests his forehead on yours and breathes you in.

"Have you thought about what we're going to do, baby?"

He sighs, "I think we should tell them. Only if you feel comfortable with it."

You let out a breath, "I think I do. Let's tell them?"

He nods, bringing your knuckles to his lips.

"How are we doing this?"

"You could bring them over to dinner here tonight, if you're okay with it. Or we could do it at your old place."

"The old place sounds better. It won't be as suspicious."

"Okay, here goes nothing." You place a kiss on his forehead, letting it linger, almost like a protective charm, "I love you."

"I love you."

__________

To say his team was shocked was an understatement.

JJ starts, "What the fuck, Spence? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because we thought it best to keep it secret. We knew the judgement it would cause and we didn't want to subject each other to that." Spencer defends calmly.

JJ continues, "Spencer, she worked with Cat, she worked with your abuser! How does this make any sense to you?!"

This hit a raw nerve in him, "I know exactly who she is, so I know that she is nothing like Cat! I knew this would happen that is why you didn't hear a peep about our relationship, that is why we kept it under wraps, this is why we eloped! You guys are so quick to judge, where was this concern for me after Tobias? Where was this concern when I was drugged out of my mind and none of you gave a shit? Where was this when I was sexually assaulted by Cat?! If you didn't say shit then, you don't get to say shit now!"

Everyone goes silent. His team looks ashamed, eyes filled with guilt as they realize they hadn't truly been there for him.

You sniffle to keep your tears from falling. Spencer's breathing is heavy, all the resentment now out of his body. You hold his arm and take a shaky breath before speaking to everyone,

"I know you are all upset because you love Spence. You want him to be safe and you want him to be happy. The truth is he is, with me. Just like I am with him. We wanted to tell you ourselves because you're his family and we shouldn't have to hide from family. Cat hurt him, but she hurt me, too. She made me a criminal and I didn't even know it. So I get why you'd think I am just like her. But please let me prove to you I am nothing like her? If not for me, for him? Because I know how much you guys mean to him and I don't want to be what comes between you guys."

Spencer shakes his head before turning to you, "You don't have to prove anything to them. You don't owe them anything."

"Spence it's okay-"

"He's right," You look over to see that it was Penelope with tears in her eyes, "you don't owe us anything. I mean, I know more than anything that your past doesn't define you. And I may not be a profiler but I have a good feeling about you. I just want Spencer to be happy."

Luke adds, "Penelope's right. I'm still sceptical but I haven't seen Spencer as happy as he's been since he's been with you. I didn't know it was because of you but it's all coming together now."

"I know this might be a lot to take in so it's okay if you need time. I promise you, I love Spencer just as much as you guys do and I'll never do anything to hurt him. So till all of you come around, truce?" You bite your lip, a hopeful glint in your eyes.

Tara and Matt nod, David and Emily share a look and a small smile before Penelope excitedly blurts out, "Truce!"

You smile, relieved. JJ fixes her gaze on the two of you for a moment and then storms out of the house. You move to talk to her but Rossi stops you, "I'll talk to her. She'll come around." He smiles reassuringly and you nod.

Spencer looks down at you with adoration. The way you handled it all makes his heart swell with pride and as he promised, your love stayed the same.

_____________________________________________

A/n: Hey y'all! I hope you like this one. Please comment, reblog and like if you do- keeps me going! Love y'all!

@lil-stark bestie I am so sorry for this atrocity lmao

[ganyuslily]

LIYUE — WELCOME TO THE LAND OF CONTRACTS!

EXTRA NOTES

characters are listed alphabetically — although men are first and women second, — with their works listed from oldest to newest.

the ones that have “♡” next to it are my personal favorites.

please don’t reblog my masterlists!

XIAO

fics

crystalfies — fluff — he thought crystalflies would look pretty in your hair.

stay — soulmate!au, fluff — and even when he locks his eyes with yours and the world becomes so bright and full of colors his gaze is still focused on you

guilty — angst — hes so filthy. drowning in responsibilities, drowning in blood, drowning in lies. hes so guilty.

starlight — fluff — strolling under the stars with xiao was always your favorite. even if instead of holding hands you would only link your pinkies. its alright. you would wait.

burn with you — bittersweet — “i am liquid fire. i am the dust that is left after the battle, i am the ash in the air after a village burns down, i am the one who brings destruction and grieving wherever they go. i am the one who is death itself.”

the small world of you and me — fluff — xiao hated change; and so obviously, he should hate you. but he doesn’t. [♡]

how to get a s/o — a guide by yours truly — fluff — “i hereby declare that i’m opening s/o applications! i can offer a poem, a brownie and my unconditional love! if you’re interested, please fill out this form!”

headcanons

jealousy headcanons — mostly fluff —  how do they act when they are jealous?

you leave them — angst — how would they react if you left them?

touching their hair — fluff — how would they react to you asking to touch/braid their hair?

cuddling/hugs — fluff — just some cuddling headcanons

how they would break your heart — angst — how would they break your heart?

how do they kiss — fluff — how are their kisses like?

having a crush on you — fluff — how would they act if they had a crush and how would they confess?

you patch them up — fluff — they get hurt and you patch them up

as your high school sweetheart — fluff — how would they be like in a modern realtionship?

at a coffee shop — fluff — you find yourself in that coffee shop down the street quite often — its not your fault they have the best coffee though!

with a s/o whose love language is physical touch — fluff — “genshin boys (or girls) with an s/o whose love language is physical touch!! like theyre always playing with the hem of their clothes and mindlessly touching their fingers”

soulmate tropes part ii — fluff, angst — what soulmate trope would they be?

how do they hold your hand? — fluff — sometimes, a touch of a loved one can portray more than words ever could.

there is this guy — fluff, angst — what type of a love interest would the genshin men be?

home with you feels the way it never did before — fluff — ( i don’t need to feel butterflies all the time if you make me feel content in who i am. )

events

春はゆくby aimer accompanied by an acanthus — angst — spring goes by without turning back, remembering love or sin.

di ka sayang by ben&ben accompanied by a primrose — fluff — xiao may be not the best with emotions, but for you, he tries.

demons by alec benjamin — fluff/angst — it’s hard. it’s so hard, but you tell yourself it’s worth it. it’s xiao, after all. it’s always gonna be worth it when it comes to him.

ZHONGLI

fics

im sorry i couldnt love you the way you deserved — angst — love. such a funny word. he grew to hate it.

maybe one day my heart will feel less heavy too — bittersweet — they say spring is the season of rebirth and starting anew — so why do the both of you keep clinging onto things that have passed years ago? [♡]

together — fluff — he awaits your return home. home to him.

i love you so (please let me go) — angst — you still think you see him everywhere you go — and even though you know he’s gone, you just can’t move on.

three names, one face — bittersweet — a tale, a bittersweet tale lost with time — about the geo god and their dear. oh, what a shame no one remembers it anymore. it was a beautiful tale, after all.

headcanons

you leave them — angst — how would they react if you left them?

what petnames they would call you — fluff — what terms of endearment would they use towards you?

you flirt with them — fluff — how would they act if you flirted with them?

you hide an item important to them — fluff — pretty self explanatory

you patch them up — fluff — they get hurt and you patch them up

at a coffee shop — fluff — you find yourself in that coffee shop down the street quite often — its not your fault they have the best coffee though!

with a s/o whose love language is physical touch — fluff — “genshin boys (or girls) with an s/o whose love language is physical touch!! like theyre always playing with the hem of their clothes and mindlessly touching their fingers”

soulmate tropes part ii — fluff, angst — what soulmate trope would they be?

GANYU

headcanons

cuddling/hugs — fluff — just some cuddling headcanons

with a s/o whose love language is physical touch — fluff — “genshin boys (or girls) with an s/o whose love language is physical touch!! like theyre always playing with the hem of their clothes and mindlessly touching their fingers”

on a karaoke night — fluff — how would they be like on a karaoke night?

as your high school sweetheart — fluff — ding, ding, ding! it’s time for your high school romance! between all the studying and living from deadline to deadline, someone somehow manages to slip themselves into your life — and honestly, you can’t find it in yourself to mind it.

dimple — fluff — when they smile, the whole world seems to stop.

types of goodbye kisses ( we will meet again ) — fluff — they will live to see you again.

KEQING

headcanons

dimple — fluff — when they smile, the whole world seems to stop.

HU TAO

fics

butterfly’s embrace — angst, bittersweet — the 77th director of the wangsheng funeral parlor is greatly acquainted with death — or so she thought.

headcanons

as your high school sweetheart — fluff — ding, ding, ding! it’s time for your high school romance! between all the studying and living from deadline to deadline, someone somehow manages to slip themselves into your life — and honestly, you can’t find it in yourself to mind it.

types of goodbye kisses ( we will meet again ) — fluff — they will live to see you again.

NINGGUANG

headcanons

on a karaoke night — fluff — how would they be like on a karaoke night?

YUN JIN

headcanons

dimple — fluff — when they smile, the whole world seems to stop.

[cross-d-a]

if you're doing those characters then please give me more amazing takes on princess mute 🥺💕

OMG IM SO LATE ANSWERING THIS BUT HERE I FINALLY AM

Also omgg thank you SOSOSO much for asking me about Princess Mute?? THE LOVE OF MY LIFE??? You know me so well, vish!! I love and adore you so much!! Thank you for giving me the chance to blabber on about the woman I love!! ⁽⁽٩(๑˃̶͈̀ ᗨ ˂̶͈́)۶⁾⁾

ALSO! I’m gonna do my best to like- not spoil all my plans for whispers, haha

The rest is under the cut bc I just have a lot of FEELINGS~ about our resident zombie girl 

❤⃛ヾ(๑❛ ▿ ◠๑ )

How I feel about this character

OH BOY OK I JUST??? LOVE HER??? A LOT???? I wasn’t expecting to get quite so immediately and intensely attached to her?? But from the second I heard about her in the legend I was just gone. Completely done for. I’m generally a sucker for mythology, and there’s just SO MUCH that’s fascinating about the tale behind the Princess Mute and the South Sea King? 

Even though Princess Mute is so central to the myth, the South Sea King is deemed as the most important? I mean- duh it is his tomb, but Princess Mute is the catalyst? None of this would have happened without her? She’s main character material and yet she isn’t the main character of her own story?? She has practically no agency? It’s so? Fucking? Fascinating?? And there is so fucking much left unanswered? The myth says she turns into a goddamn monster?? Is this- figuratively? Or literally? Is she a monster for breaking gender norms and committing the ultimate taboo by killing the Emperor??? Like- holy FUCK? Like- LOOK at this pic from Ershu’s Expensive Powerpoint:

and a close-up for good measure:

(note the HORNS/HELMET?? the LIGHTNING STRIKE!!! 👀👀👀 how she’s dressed as a SOLDIER?? that SPEAR??? also she’s depicted as much bigger than the emperor!! which, of course, means she’s more important!!!!)

and, HELLO!! She’s called the PRINCESS MUTE. She is only known/named in association to someone else. Her name has been erased from history. It isn’t important to anyone. Which is so fucking ironic. She’s Princess Mute. Her voice has been stripped from her, just like her agency. This tale is the Mute Emperor’s and not her own. Her suffering means nothing to anyone. Her life means nothing other than for the Emperor to desire and the South Sea King to mourn over (and WOW!! ISN’T THIS JUST!! SO perfectly encapsulating Nanpai Sanshu’s female characters and their relevance to the story/male characters)

(so what is her goddamn name???? I mean, I know what I’ve named her, but sorry dudes. Again. I don’t wanna spoil too much :) )

also, WHY is the South Sea King covering her eyes when she’s sent off to sea in the origami boat?

What actually happens to her after this? The body we see of the South Sea King has long white hair so I assume he died pretty old? So why does she look so goddamn young? 

And- the million dollar question here (WHICH I HAVE A LOT OF HEADCANONS FOR BUT I DON’T WANNA SPOIL WHISPERS): What happened to her after she killed the Emperor????

ALSO!! WHY IS SHE HOLDING A DINGLAN RULER WHEN SANSHU FINDS HER IN THAT FIRST EXPEDITION?? (internet says it’s a “special ruler used for making shrines, carving wood statues and making tablets of gods. Later used in measurement of architectural scale; measuring instrument for the netherworld, wishes best for tomb owner) did she design her own father’s tomb?? is there more to her becoming a leather figurine than filial loyalty/sacrifice?? 

Why does she have a tattoo?? I go a bit into this in my fic, but from my understanding it was unusual for people (women especially!) to have tattoos during this time! (this is just from my research! if I am wrong please correct me!) 

For anyone who hasn’t read whispers, there were a a few tribes (minorities!) during this time who tattooed themselves (and to this day, they continue this tradition :) ). The Li were often attacked by invaders who assaulted the women and sold them as slaves. The women ended up tattooing their faces and bodies to make them less appealing, and it ended up becoming a tradition. When a girl came of age she’d get tattooed. Then we’ve got the Dai, who (from what I understand!) got tattoos of animals with characteristics they wished to embody, such as to show their virility and strength! So they’d tattoo tigers and dragons, etc.

So why does Princess Mute have one? Who gave it to her? WHAT ACTUALLY IS IT!!!!!! (eternal frustration that we never see a clear shot of the whole thing!!) It kinda looks like a heavily stylized fish? With some waves. But I am unsure! But it would make sense, considering the ongoing theme of snakes and fish throughout dmbj.

Also, her scars seem very strange. Like- if someone skinned her (YIKES!) then- her scars don’t really seem like they’re a result of skinning (double yikes!!). You’d think that for a woman who was the daughter of the King, they’d take more care to preserve her face?? So why does it seem like someone has done their utter best to ruin it? Did the Emperor do it himself? Did her father? Or did someone else do it?? Did she do it herself????

Also, I just wanna cut the bullshit with the creepy hand clam thing. A hand clam isn’t gonna wrap their fingers around Wu Xie’s hand to stop him from blowing himself up. Like. I get that it’s the censorship. I get it. But- you can’t tell me it wasn’t actually the Princess Mute who saved him. I just?? This moment is so powerful? It literally knocked the breath from my chest.

Princess Mute’s story is just so fascinating and tragic and I am just a mess over how she isn’t in control of her own story? She never is. Except for when she kills the Emperor. (AND when she saves Wu Xie) And I think that’s fucking telling. 

Of course, it felt like they had more of a storyline planned for her which never happened, but I’ll get more into that later.

Basically, I just have SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!

It’s like- I dunno. Seeing a gorgeous woman flip an obnoxious man over her shoulder and slam him to the ground without breaking a sweat and watching her walk away with stars in your eyes. You barely know anything about her but you’re already half in love and you just want to know more.

I’m super Gay for her, if you couldn’t already tell.

Honestly, she just perfectly represents all the female characters and their treatment in dmbj with all the extra PIZAZZ of the mysterious supernatural/mythological elements. She just makes me go feral and I adore her with my entire heart.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

NUMBER ONE I SHIP HER WITH MY CUTE AND PERFECT GF XIAO BAI!!!!!!!!

They are my two favourite (okay and my wife Su Nan!) female characters in dmbj. I think their stories parallel each other pretty beautifully? They’re both women in a powerful position, though with limited agency. They both defy gender norms and accomplish things (I’m counting killing the Emperor as Accomplishing Something) in a very male-dominated world. And- okay. I know the Princess Mute is technically dead. But she also?? is someone still doing stuff?? and pushing along the storyline?? as a zombie?? So I’m just gonna say that both of them aren’t truly killed off for the Man Pain like all the other female dmbj characters (except for Xiu Xiu, and I guess Chuchu but ChuChu’s situation is kinda....Iffy. At best.)

Also both of them are linked pretty heavily with Wu Xie? They both have an interesting relationship with him. And Princess Mute leads Wu Xie to Xiao Bai!!!

And okay this is spoiling a bit of whispers, BUT!!! Warehouse 11 was built atop the South Sea King’s temple. Isn’t that fucking important??? I stand by my headcanon that Xiao Bai is a Warehouse kid (descended from the Founders) and so she grew up there. And like- ignoring censorship bc I can AND because Reboot leaves a lot of supernatural stuff up in the air anyway- wouldn’t growing up atop an insanely powerful temple do something to you? Wouldn’t it affect you in some way?? There’s just!!! SO much potential between Princess Mute and Xiao Bai!! Plus!! I think it’d be great for Xiao Bai to form a relationship with another woman. She needs some female solidarity in her life.

And- well. I just ship Princess Mute with all the dmbj women, really. Princess Mute has two hands, why can she use them both?? I’ve got a couple Princess Mute modern au’s going and in one of them she just- sweeps A’Ning and Su Nan off their feet :)

I really can’t ship Princess Mute with any male characters, I think. There’s just- so much underlying trauma surrounding her agency and how she’s been used by the men in her life. Also, I like wlw & mlm solidarity. Let Princess Mute and Wu Xie wallow over their Stupid Crushes. Or Princess Mute & Xiao Ge. I’m not picky.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Purely bc of my own au, I am very much invested in Princess Mute & Li Cu (& spirit snake). As I mentioned before, there’s a running theme of loss of agency in their own lives and suffering the consequences of others’ actions. Plus, there’s a lot of supernatural happenings surrounding the both of them. Why wouldn’t they find a connection?

And, obviously, I adore Princess Mute & Wu Xie. Princess Mute saved Wu Xie and then Wu Xie was promptly obsessed (can’t say I blame him). They had such an interesting relationship in Reboot that was just- so fucking tragically dropped. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

SHE SHOULD BE MORE POPULAR!!!!!!!!!! She is so goddamn fascinating and gorgeous and I just!! Want!! Everyone to adore her as much as I do!!!!!!!! At least I feel a bit accomplished for swinging some readers over to her side in whispers!! That’s something!!! 

I’ve got like- a million au ideas with her. I’m going to be the creator of the content I wish to read!!!!!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I WISH SHE COULD HAVE GOTTEN A SATISFACTORILY COMPLETED STORYLINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She just gets completely dropped after she leads Wu Xie to Warehouse 11. So once more, she is a plot device and not. And actual. Person. Her importance is tied irrevocably to the male leads. Her agency is not her own. Wu Xie cares so much about her, and okay, he’s trying to figure out a mystery and we all know how he gets when he’s trying to puzzle out a mystery-- but you can’t tell me he just- stops caring after he encounters Warehouse 11??? What happens to her after that?? Does she rot away in a box in Wushanju?? Does Ershu take her back?? I’m just?? WHAT????

I want to know her side of the story and not what everyone else has said. I want her to actually properly communicate with Wu Xie. I want her saving the day again and I want her being fucking badass and I want her and Xiao Ge being soft together and I want her and Xiao Bai to bond fall in love and I want everyone to just- fall in love with her? And care about her? And I want to to find herself caring about these fucking idiots too???? Can you imagine her and Liu Sang bonding over shitty fathers and lack of agency and Trauma?? Can you imagine Princess Mute getting her life back and the freckles returning to her slowly darkening skin and her being silly with Hei-ye bc he keeps shoving increasingly ridiculous sunglasses at her. And can you imagine her trying on jeans for the first time and picking out a cute bomber jacket and shoving a baseball cap on her head and dipping her feet back in the sea and befriending shibie bc she’s just?? that?? cool?? while Iron Triangle is off on the side fretting like she isn’t befriending some very dangerous creatures but it’s okay bc she’s a dangerous creature too and she understands fear and desire and hunger. 

I want her returning to Thunder City. I want her getting closure. I want her story to get closure. Period.

And I know it didn’t happen bc censorship and Nanpai Sanshu and just- a host of Other Things. But I want it, and she deserves it.

--

AAAHH VISH!!!! Thank you so much for letting me yell about Princess Mute!! Sorry I couldn’t go more in depth with headcanons but!! Like I said, I don’t want to completely spoil you for whispers, so I’ll keep those close to my chest for now 

٩(*ゝڡゝ๑)۶♥

[otterplusharchive]

rey! do you have any recs for kdramas? i have never watched any, but i like lovable characters and romance ? thank you in advance!

I DO IN FACT HAVE DRAMA RECS HII not all of these will be kdramas, but ill start with the kdramas ive watched and enjoyed and ill include all the warnings for them that i can remember off the top of my head and a brief synopsis for u!

kdramas-

1. weight lifting fairy kim bok joo

this was probably one of the first kdramas i saw people post about in like 2015 and i watched a little bit of it in 2016 but then only just got around to finishing it last year. the basic gist of it is its about a young sports college weight lifter, kim bok joo, centering around her navigating through her life and trying to figure out who she is and what she wants in life and what she wants to be. her romantic interest in the show is a swimmer and they have a sort of rivals to friends to lovers, he is SO in love with her and its adorable. i absolutely loved the side characters in this show theyre all so fun and kim bok joos best friends and weight lifting team are especially delightful. my main warning would be that this show addresses eating disorders and theres a lot of mention of both weight gain and weight loss, theres also a plot point early on where kim bok joo has a crush on her eventual love interests older brother but it gets resolved and the older brother literally goes "i didnt realize you had a crush on me and if i knew that i wouldnt have been so friendly with you, it would be completely innapropriate for us to be in a relationship". overall its a really sweet and emotional fun show but if you have issues with weight talk id skip this one

2. tale of the nine tailed

this one is really recent from last year and i didnt expect to be so hooked by it but boy howdy did i get attached to all the characters and the wild plot. it feels hard to explain the plot but basically a nine tailed fox named lee yeon is living in modern day seoul and is working for the underworld finding paranormal spirits/creatures/other rogue foxes that are causing havoc on the world, hes resigned himself to living this life while waiting for his girlfriend who died tragically 600 years ago to come back to life because he traded his status as a mountain god in order to ensure that her soul would one day be reincarnated. a plucky investigative journalist named nam ji ah figures out that hes not human and shenanagins ensue because she looks exactly like his dead girlfriend oooooo whatll happen. the plot beyond that gets really wild and its hard to explain and is easier to just watch. if u enjoy paranormal adventures this one is good. my one big complaint and issue with this is that the immortal mountain spirit meets his original girlfriend when shes a child and she continues to visit him off and on as she grows up which is Hm I Dont Like That! but thankfully the present time romance our female lead meets him when shes about 30 if im remembering right. also warnings for general fantasy violence, references to child abuse, animal death, and abandonment issues

3. extraordinary you

HUGE unreality warning for this. if you have issues with feeling unreal or have paranoia/delusions about not being a real person id avoid this one just because of its premise

ok i know i said tale of the nine tailed was a hard plot to explain but BOY extraordinary you is even HARDER to explain. because its so wild but so good. its about a girl who realizes that she is literally a side character in a comic book, and the story becomes her trying to change the story to save her character from dying but it becomes a lot more than that. the romance in this is literally tooth achingly sweet and the show itself is very pretty, i loved the side characters in this one and the show was engaging and interesting to watch it became really layered and meta. super reccomend this one honestly. my main issues/warnings that i can remember off the top of my head were just one character being the classic controlling boyfriend stereotype, bullying someone specifically for being poor, unreality like i mentioned before, and then at the very end there was this love interest for a side character who got reincarnated from a past piece of writing that they had been in and put in the comic but she was a student and he was the school cook which is weird but thankfully they like barely interact at all and theres no real romance he just like recognizes her and its barely a thing at the end of the show but its still weird

4. mystic pop up bar

big warning for suicide, sexual harrasment (which is framed as being bad and the guy whos harrassing the girl literally gets thrown off a roof)

i havent finished this one yet and thats mainly because im not emotionally ready because this one makes me soooo emotional. if you like found family this is a good one. its about a pop up bar run by a woman whos been tasked with solving the problems of a certain amount of people in order to atone for her crimes in the past before dying, shes able to enter the dreams of people and solve their issues using the information she gets in the dreams. paranormal shenanagins ensue, she acquires a son and a husband and it kills me its so fun and quirky and fun despite handling dark themes and peoples problems. also very sweet the found family murders me

5. kingdom (netflix original)

i literally am not going to be able to watch any other zombie media because kingdom and train to busan are the best pieces of zombie media ive ever seen. warnings for gore and violence and just general horror aspects.

i absolutely love this one its so thrilling and well done, i love the acting and the way that this show looks its absolutely gorgeous. a zombie plague breaks out in joseon period korea where the emperor has died and then was brought back to life by the queen and her father in a ploy to try and keep their family in political power, the crown prince must find answers. a lot more happens and its very dramatic and good i love the characters in this one

cdramas

1. the untamed. if you follow me and you havent watched the untamed im begging you to watch the untamed. literally one of the most beautiful stories ive experienced in my life i am not joking when i say i cried multiple times over it. the main characters are canonically gay in love and have a son together please watch the untamed. handles a lot of dark themes, heres a tw guide

2. the sleuth of the ming dynasty

this is another one i havent finished but its fun so far, very gay, found family, food, and solving murder mysteries during the ming dynasty

3. hikaru no go (also known as qi hun)

havent finished this one, there is some propaganda about hong kong in the first episode but as far as i know thats the only instance of something like that in the show

this ones about the game go and so far its very sweet and fun, local boy awakens a ghost who was a master of the game of go hundreds of years ago and eventually is persuaded to learn how to play go with the aid of the ghost. im really liking this one so far its very cute and i love the characters in it. if youve watched the untamed nie huaisangs actor ji li is in this one!

4. the legend of yunqian

this ones very short and on youtube, all the episodes are about 5 minutes long and its a lesbian time travel fantasy adventure with a happy ending! funny and cute

jdramas

1. cherry magic

please please please watch cherry magic. the premise sounds very much like a weird yaoi kind of thing but trust me on this. trust me. it is so heart warming and sweet and i was so emotional about it and the growth of the main character.

adachi gains the power to read peoples minds on his 30th birthday based off a urban legend that if youre a 30 year old virgin that youll become a wizard. after gaining this power he accidentally finds out that his extremely popular and handsome coworker has a crush on him, and shenanagins ensue along with adachi having blossoming feelings in return. this show was really refreshing in a lot of ways, adachi is a main character who like.. is unsure of himself and insecure in a very kind of realistic way, he closes himself off and is afraid to reach out to people and through the course of the show we see him slowly come out of his shell and realize that hes likeable and lovable and that people want to be around him and its so nice to see. my main complaint about this show is that i dont really like the background couple, but otherwise this is a very sweet and refreshing gay romance that has a happy ending!

some others that i myself havent seen but that ive seen people talk about a lot and that i want to watch eventually:

- the legend of fei (cdrama)

- the wolf (cdrama)

- gaurdian (cdrama, not the kdrama one called goblin)

- healer (kdrama, i did watch some of this one but it was in 2016 and i never finished it so i barely remember any of it but i do remember liking it)

- nobody knows (kdrama)

- its ok to not be ok (kdrama)

sorry this is so long but i hope youll be able to find a drama u enjoy!!

[theharellan]

Guess who read The Dread Wolf Take You!

The Assassin’s Tale:

Three agents. First elf is Dalish, second a city elf, third an ancient elf, which is a good demonstration of the diversity of elven experience among the ranks. I’ll be making another post about Solas’ resources and reach later, likely after I’ve finished reading the other stories, as I know I have comments about some of the other stories where agents are involved.

The Dalish elf says he wants to awaken his gods with the idol, indicating that there’s either differing motives for joining Fen’Harel or he was lying, believing that it would allow him to get what he wants sooner. Both are honestly believable possibilities.

Solas (and his agents, whose ranks also likely include other Dreamers) can kill people in their sleep, even dwarves. This isn’t new information, we’ve known it since Feynriel in DA2, although I am surprised dwarves aren’t immune. I wonder if it would work on Surface dwarves and not Orzammar’s, as magic resistance is explicitly lessened when dwarves leave Orzammar. I imagine it would at least be harder. Based on the Bard’s comments I think in this particular instance and the importance of securing the idol, Solas himself was involved in the assassinations of the sleepers.

Dreams also seem to be places people get instructions/orders, which would confirm a headcanon of mine. 

The Mortalitasi’s Tale:

The red lyrium idol is elven, depicting either “two lovers” or “a god mourning her sacrifice.” I should note again that if Mythal/Solas is ever confirmed as romantic I will be going canon divergent on that, but for now it’s still unclear.

The Tevinter mage uses blood sacrifice to get the idol to do its thing, using slaves. Whatever ritual they were doing was interfering with whatever Solas had been doing at the time.

His behaviour in this story reminds me of something he says to the Inquisitor at the start of the game, the first conversation in Haven: “Posturing is necessary.” I’ve long held the headcanon that a lot of Solas’ weight after he became Fen’Harel was a result of deliberately making himself seem scary, what we get in this is a glimpse of the intimidation tactics I think he’s used since Arlathan.

The Mortalitasi thinks he must have bound spirits/demons to accomplish his attack, but this seems unlikely. Solas has his hypocrisies, but Cole notes in Trespasser “he knows how to speak so spirits listen” re: the sanctuary guardians, and it seems more likely the spirits are aiding him freely.

Again, the binding of spirits continues to play a role in Solas’ anger and frustration in the world-- his problems cannot be addressed just by improving the lots of physical elves.

The Bard’s Tale:

I’m rather doubtful of how much of this is true, I do believe he went to Llomerryn and retrieved the idol and that he now has it. Other than that the story is mostly a lot of name drops or references, with everyone from the Warden to Divine Victoria to Xenon to Tallis being referenced.

He describes Solas as touching the idol reverently, clearly it has personal meaning, although given his reaction to the focus breaking it’s probably nice to not find it’s cracked after some human put their hands on it.

I also believe the Ben-Hassrath didn’t listen to his warning at the end of Trespasser, although tbf the vidassala wasn’t in a position to pass the message on.

Addition: Lisa reminded me that the Bard described the idol, and likely has the most accurate interpretation -- “crowned figure who comforted the other” -- again, like the end of Inquisition. This isn’t the first time Solas has had a sad in Mythal’s arms. Why he needed comforting in the scene depicted here is unclear. It could be anything from Mythal’s impending death, to the Veil, to depicting Solas’ feelings after he took physical form at Mythal’s behest.

General Notes:

More wisps being used for really casual things that really could be done by hand, or potentially even just magic by hand, rather than ordering something else to do it for you. From the description of the Mortalitasi putting it away it seems its in the spoon permanently.

First, some notes about The Bard, headcanons included --     ◦ As others have pointed out, Gauche, the name the party is booked under and his alias, means “awkward,” but it also means “left.” It’s a fitting name both because like “Solas” it’s a feeling/state of being, but also the Anchor was on the left hand (and therefore it’s the hand he removes in Trespasser).    ◦ Opal inlays, which were apparently in fashion a few years back according to Vivienne banter.    ◦ Resembles a dragon, again leaning on Mythal imagery.   ◦  My headcanon that Solas knows Orlesian came true (although I also hc it as being limited in DA:I, I think he would have improved it since then).   ◦ His manner and accent were coached by agents, specifically I like to think Adélaïde (found on @ourdawncomes) played a role in that, among others. Miraen (Joly’s OC, found on @ancientimpudence) likely helped with the outfit.

The little tells Charter picks up on kills me, like her noting that his hair toss is clumsy and the lack of tan lines indicating he doesn’t typically wear rings. I guess when you’ve been bald a while you forget how hair works, which as sb who has had a pixie cut for a few years... yeah, it tracks.

He can freeze people without turning them to stone, and can also freeze golems.

Solas literally can’t pretend to like tea so he just doesn’t drink it. Like I think he’s physically incapable of not making The Face.

The second he drops the act he sounds more like as we know him, Charter immediately noting he sounds “tired.” His voice falters, he smiles sadly, and smiles again when Charter points out that he’s hardly one to talk about the Executors being dangerous. Speaking of, he doesn’t like the Executors, and frankly they do seem pretty odd.

What he says to Charter after she asks for her life -- Ar lasa mala -- features in the phrase “ar lasa mala revas” or “you are free/I give you your freedom.” Since “revas” Means freedom, my guess is this just means what he says in Common, “I grant it to you.”

The second thing he does after allowing Charter her life is freeing the spirit/wisp in the stirring stick, a detail for which I owe Mx. Weekes my life.

Charter does more than just see through Solas’ disguise, but the line “perhaps we are not the only ones you lied to” is probably one of the best assessments of Solas’ character in the series. It also indicates that Solas’ motivations for approaching in Trespasser were, in part, a lie-- or rather, I think, not the whole truth. Lines about how he hopes to be proven wrong and his appearance here it reinforces that he has self-sabotaging tendencies for this plan, like he wants to be stopped but won’t, possibly can’t stop, which brings me back to Regret: There might have been a better choice-- a thought it had not been allowed.

His plans may not be as destructive as first assumed, it’s noted Tevinter will likely take the brunt of it, but also he notes “the elves who still remain” may find it better when his work is done. I headcanoned ages ago that Solas doesn’t lie to those he allies with about the consequences of his actions, aka the destruction it’ll cause. He’s honest with the Inquisition and telling them the truth, allowing them to know the truth while lying to those he’s working with would be inviting unnecessary betrayal. Solas saying this to Charter is further evidence that the modern elves working with Solas are well-aware of what’s happening and as a whole not being lied to, although I also wouldn’t be surprised if some joined up with different ideas, as the Dalish elf at the start may have.

That Solas’ next move was the lyrium idol (which is also his? Or Mythal’s) indicates that if there are other foci out there, they can’t be wielded by him. This makes sense given his could explicitly only be wielded by him without killing him, so I imagine if there are others out there they’re specific to that evanuris/whatever mage created them.

That he regrets involving and revealing himself in Trespasser is pretty funny considering Solas showed up here in-person for like. Really minor, personal reasons. Again. Then revealed more of his plans. Again. Did I mention the self-sabotage?

It looks like this Solas was neutral-to-high approval, almost definitely not romanced. “Tell them I’m sorry” is a pretty general message, so for the purposes of roleplay he would say different things to everyone’s Inquisitor.

In conclusion: Solas is a loser but im still trash for him.

[sufaact]

SUFA GALA sentence starter

“ Don’t let them talk to you that way. ”

“ Are you alright?! Do you need anything? ”

“ I don't get modern art. ”

“ Have you been crying? ”

“ Sorry. I didn't mean to stare. ”

“ You don't look good. Are you feeling okay? ”

“ Who IS that person? ”

“ Would you like a drink? The champagne is amazing. ”

“ I feel so out of place here. Can we go home? ”

“ I feel as though I have been waiting for this moment all week. ”

“ Stop trying to set me up with people! ”

“ These shoes are killing me ”

“ Do you think they noticed me? ”

“ This gown is soooo uncomfortable... ”

“ During the next dance I'm just going to slip out. No one will notice. ” 

“ All I want is a drink. ”

“ Is there any real food here? Tiny bits of things on platters just isn't cutting it. ”

“ Isn't this night magical? ”

“ did he/she touch you while dancing? ”

“ tell me there’s nothing going on. ”

“ i see the way you look at him/her. ”

“ i see the way he/she looks at you. ”

“ is there something you’re not telling me? ”

“ were you just flirting with them? ”

“ is there somewhere else you’d rather be? ”

“ you have a thing for him/her don’t you? ”

“ were you with him/her? ”

“ did she/he make a pass at you? ”

“ i can’t believe you were with her/him ”

“ i don’t like the way he’s/she’s looking at you ”

“im NOT jealous ”

“ i thought you only had eyes for me ”

“ you’re too good for her/him ”

“ they were flirting with you ”

“ what in the world is this!? ”

“ i thought i was clear! ”

“ this is why we can’t have nice things! ”

“ do you understand the damage you’ve done here!? ”

“ there’s no coming back from this, ever! ”

“ get away from me! ”

“ i can’t believe you would do this to me! ”

“ i’m not talking about this ANY more. ”

“ i can’t believe you lied to me… again! ”

“ no! just leave me alone! ”

“ did you seriously think this would be okay? ”

“ forget it! ”

“ i can’t even look at you right now! ”

“ i think you should go. ”

“ i can’t believe you’d do this to me…”

“ i can’t do this anymore! ”

“ you need to pull yourself together. ”

“ i don’t believe you. ”

“ how am i supposed to trust you now? ”

“ you look nice tonight. ”

“ i have to say, i was kind of nervous about tonight. ”

“ it’s been a long time since i’ve been on one of these… ”

“ you’re being extra shy tonight - it’s cute. ”

“ i’m underdressed, aren’t i? ”

“ i’m overdressed, aren’t i? ”

“ this is usually the part where you’re supposed to kiss me. ”

“ this was a disaster, wasn’t it? ”

“ i’m sorry, normally i’m better at this kinda thing. ”

“ I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it. ”

“ I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. ”

“ I see the screw up fairy has visited again. ”

“ You are validating my inherent mistrust in people. ”

“ I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. ”

“ The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. ”

“ I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. ”

“ I'm not being rude, you're just insignificant. ”

“ Too many freaks, not enough circuses. ”

“ Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? ”

“ You're not special. ”

“ If I throw a stick, will you leave? ”

“ Who lit the fuse on your tampon? ”

“ Aren't you a black hole of need. ”

“ If you have something to say raise your hand, then place it over your mouth. ”

“ I’m too busy, can I ignore you some other time? ”

“ Don’t let your mind wander, it's too small to be let out on its own. ”

“ Have a nice day, somewhere else. ”

“ You’re not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away. ”

“ You are as pretty as a picture, I’d really like to hang you. ”

“ Do you hear that? That’s the sound of no-one caring. ”

“ Here's some chapstick for all that butt kissing ”

“ I have to leave at midnight ”

“ Are you going to leave a shoe behind for me to find you? ”

“ Care to dance? ”

“ So I guess this is the wallflower section? ”

“ Punch? ”

“ I can’t dance. ”

“ You’re doing a lovely job. ”

“ Ow! You stepped on my foot. ”

“ Don’t step on my skirt ”

“ This corset is so tight. ”

“ You look handsome tonight. ”

“ You look beautiful tonight. ”

“ That’s a lovely dress. ”

“ That dress shows off all the right curves. ”

“ I never thought I’d see you in a tux. ”

“ You look great in a tux. ”

“ Her dress must have cost her thousands. ”

“ Some people go so overboard with these things. ”

“ Can I kiss you? ”

“ Stop looking at your feet and look at me. ”

“ I’ve never worn anything this fancy before. ”

“ These shoes are leaving blisters! ”

“ I feel like I’m in a fairy tale. ”

“ I feel like I’m in a nightmare. ”

[lokbobpop]

Effect

mid-14c., "execution or completion (of an act)," from Old French efet (13c., Modern French effet) "result, execution, completion, ending," from Latin effectus "accomplishment, performance," from past participle stem of efficere "work out, accomplish," from assimilated form of ex "out" (see ex-) + combining form of ...

A cause is something that produces an event or condition; an effect is what results from an event or condition. ... Often it is not necessary, or even possible, to find the exact cause of an event or to name the exact effect

Effect ef fect eff ect

Writing effect

What effects me effects all if i were in an angry mood and i shouted at trin lets say then she would pass it on to someone else an so on so we are just effecting each other so if I don’t i just take responsibility for my emotions it stops with me this is key to a new earth a new way to live taking responsibility for my mind and actions

I need to be more effective at what im doing stopping my mind i need to up my game also i need to get past my I can’t do this and do this look where writing has gotten me what might something else get me.

Readin effect

What effects me most is fear fear of what might be this effects me most death dying pain anguish shit like this but i cant do anything about these things so i have to move past this to live i have to see theres more to life that this and i need to try to live this to see whats its like because anything is better than what im living right now why do i chose to live like this ? Not sure im not looking at this properly only seeing fearful.

Everything effects all one thought pattern effects me it ads to another layer of doubt and this effects my physical im now in a state of physical pain from all thr effects of my mind on my physical when will i stop this abuse.

Im effected by so much chris being angry im effected i get upset angry fight back i want him to shut up i want him to try grow up but i dont think it will he’s nto seeing that this is wrong yet i feel like im doing this all on my own he needs ot start to realize and help out for use blame comes up yes poor little Caroline has ot do this all on her own again lol

The elnino effect where we get very dry years and very wet years cycles of chaos no water where i live in oz is terrible.

The effect of what i say on someone is very important it could effect there whole life how everything effects everything

To be effective in myself to stand within myself so other can see and be effective i will be effective i will move past this points of the mind.

Ripple effect yes i need be sure everything thought and spoken word has an effect on myself and others i need to work as hard as i cant to be more effective in my process to change me for the best of me i need to work out the best why.

Learn and test i see this would be good for me ot live learn then live it at all times i keep forgetting though i so pissed off i can’t remember stuff.

Domino effect when one falls everything falls i need to stop my domino from falling i need ot stand up all the time and not just sometimes i need to get up again and again until the job is done.

Saying effect

So many things effect me chris moods mostly my thoughts very much so so what can i do to stop the effects of what happens in my inside and outside world what can i stand as to stop it all ? What about the word stand in itself is a great word to stand motionless clear with self to stand as me fro me i stand i tale the stand for me yes i stand

Ive see ive been effected by so much in my life all day every day im effected i have lived unaffected what would it be like to live unaffected by what i see hear all day the effects are tremendous on myself and others i need ot live much more effectively how can i live much more effectively? To see who i am in every given moment to stand within myself in every given moment to not fall in every given moment to love self enough to not fall in every given moment to want need and desire that i never fall i always stand as me for me and for all i can be the effect of change for others then when i effective myself i can feel this within me i can have the effect to change myself which will help others change so we can all start living its just rigth here right now its not down some road i need to live i see it now right here right now within me i just have ot allow me to live it to be it let go of all that is holding me back i know what to do so why am i not living it i need ot start living in every moment of my life now right now.

What has effected me school my younger years have affected me for all my life why have i aloud this to happen why am i still living the kid that thinks they aren’t good enough why do i live this person i am not this person this was a situation where i didn’t understand not that i have to alway live this way oh no thats in my past that isnt now it cant shape me now i wont allow it im me yes me i let go of all the belief of what i thought I was they weren’t true they were all lies my mind told me to believe about myself

Sf

Does this definition support me no i blame myself for not standing for believing in my mind for seeing i was ok its alright all my life for believing in my mind and not seeing whats best for me and all sadness of what i have done to my physical and others because i havent lived effectively ive lived only in my mind.

Effect affect

Effect

To live effectively

I will live this word with being effective at all times to waste no more time to be my best effective person for me for others i am effective

[jasonvtodd]

comic crash course for @thomasflint & @pansexualbcky 💙 I’ve included Image, Marvel & DC comics ✌ (run, run while ya’ll still can) normal font is my thoughts on the runs and italicized fonts are official summaries  

IMAGE

lazarus (2013) i just sorta accidentally stumbled onto this series by mistake but its so worth reading. strong female character who (as you’d guess by the title) can come back from the dead and kicks goddamn ass while looking damn good

In a dystopian near-future, government is a quaint concept, resources are coveted, and possession is 100% of the law. A handful of Families rule, jealously guarding what they have and exploiting the Waste who struggle to survive in their domains. Forever Carlyle defends her family's holdings through deception and force as their protector, their Lazarus. Shot dead defending the family home, Forever's day goes downhill from there... 

east of west (2013)  (hickman idk if you’ve heard the name before but hes done a lot of marvel runs here and there) is the same deal as lazarus. i dont know many (if any) people who have read it like the above, but i think thats cause they’re aimed at more mature ‘older’ readers kinda deal. this is also a really good comic series which deals with the four horsemen of the apocalypse and this whole other storyline which is jsut pretty cool and a good ride

   This is the world. It is not the one we wanted, but it is the one we deserved. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse roam the Earth, signaling the End Times for humanity, and our best hope for life, lies in DEATH.

MARVEL

iron man, vol. 1 issue #172 (1983) am i going to start this marvel rec list off with tony stark? you’re goddamn right i am. not only that... a stony favourite of mine friend. idc what your quams. this is me. you know who i am. now, anyway, this issue... fuckfu cufkc fuCK me right up scotty. it shows you tony in the worst of his fall down into his alcoholism and steve mentions how his father was an alcoholic and tries to talk tony back to reality... you’re an intelligent man. you must know what you’re doing to yourself with every single drop of that stuff you drink. you have everything, man you have your own company, you have plenty of money, you’re an electronics genius. women find you attractive. you’re respected in the community, you have a brilliant future ahead of you (this is honestly one of my favourites i own)

hawkeye, vol. 1 (1983) this is clints first solo run, its only four issues but i highly recommend it. you get to see bobbi morse in action too which is always a Good Time

Enthralled in his relationship, Clint opens up to new girlfriend Sheila Danning about his super hero origin. The date ends abruptly when Hawkeye investigates a break-in at Cross Technologies…and the intruder’s none other than Mockingbird! Is Cross Tech involved in illegal affairs that are destroying the environment? Mockingbird seems to think so, and she'll stop at nothing to convince Hawkeye! 

iron man: iron monger (1985) He's lost his armor and his fortune, but not his nerve! Tony Stark's back on his feet after everything Obadiah Stane has thrown at him, but now the bilious billionaire is taking away Stark's friends...one of them forever! The enmity spanning more than thirty issues ends in a steel-plated slugfest from which only one can walk away! Plus: vision quests and extradimensional intrigue! Madame Masque and Thundersword! And the debut of the Scourge of the Underworld! Guest-starring the West Coast Avengers!

iron man: armor wars (1987) this is such a good old school tony run as it shows you (that everyone always seems to overlook or pretend isnt Important) tonys guilt that is constantly weighing him for so many things and his own battle with him self

Millionaire industrialist Tony Stark is an inventive genius who has dedicated all of his enormous financial and intellectual resources to a single guiding principle: the creation of technology for the betterment of humanity. Stark's greatest creation is a modern-day miracle: a suit of form-fitting, strength-enhancing, steel-mesh armor he dons to become the living symbol of his ideals, the Invincible Iron Man! But when Stark discovers that the same technology he used to create the Iron Man armor - technology so secret he didn't even dare patent it - is now in the hands of several deadly super-villains, he feels responsible for the evil they have done with the high-tech tools he unwittingly provided. In the face of objections from his government, friends, colleagues and fellow super heroes, Stark swears to use the power of Iron Man to bring the evil to an end - and to take back what's his. The Beatle, Stilt Man, the Controller, Stingray, the Mandroids, the Guardsmen and Firepower don't know it yet, but they've got a problem. The world's most powerful force for good isn't playing by the rules anymore. And he's coming for them.

the infinity gauntlet (2000) soon as avengers infinity wars got announced and thanos started popping up with his gauntlet and infinity stones... i looked this up and was curious. annd wowow what a ride ok thanos is fucking ruthless and this shows it. thing i love about comics is when everyone dies in one whole page... u dont even rlly mind cause u know they’ll be fine somehow lololol #me when reading this (was it still stressful how it all went down? yes) 

For the dark Titan, Thanos, the Infinity Gauntlet was the Holy Grail, the ultimate prize to be coveted above all else. Now, on the edge of Armageddon and led by the mysterious Adam Warlock, Earth's super heroes join in a desperate attempt to thwart this nihilistic god's insane plunge into galactic self-destruction.

captain america, vol. 1 issue #401 (1992) clint ‘im an adult’ barton jumps on mopey steves bed and tony walks into a bar despite just overcoming his recent rehab from alcohol just to speak to steve and tells him in this crazy business we’re in, there’s no one I’d miss more than you. And I… well… you’re an inspiration to me, Steve is my goal to make you ship stony (and all its canon ass shit in its beauty)?? you’re goddamn right 

Clint Barton nags Cap into going out to a bar where Steve confesses he has given up on having a normal life to concentrate in his hero activities. Tony Stark arrives unexpectedly and he and Steve hash out their differences going back to the Armor Wars and make up.

tales of suspense, vol. 2 (1992) is possibly hard to find (but i’d be more then willing to buy for presents for the Feels) but ohmYGODDDDDDDD steve talking about tony in his suit and tony talking about steves clear, azure eyes like ok yeah... thats not gay... at all....... stony isnt canon pshaw...  Tony Stark and his armor. His wonderful metal suit. The end result of all the technology he’s mastered in his hands the ultimate weapon for good. A good that I can never hope to equal. ... psha...w???   Captain America. Steve. I look at your handsome face… into your clear, azure eyes.. and, as ever, I feel the same guilty envy.

captain america: operation rebirth what a good. you get badass sharon carter action, a solid good classic red skull as steves nemesis, and just overall a good captain america read. probably one of my favourite cap trades i have

He was the greatest hero that ever lived. But now the legacy of Steve Rogers had come to an end - the serum that coursed through Captain America's veins killed him. Now, 47 years later, Captain America is brought back to lif e to do battle with evil. 

deadpool, vol. 1 (1997) i have the omnibus and so have only read the first 33 issues plus some specials.... but... lOOK listen... l i s t en ... this is what made me fall in love with wade wilson ok and the reaosn why i enjoyed the deadpool (2016) film so much. because they included so much material from this run in it so well i want to goddamn cry about it (i sometimes do) let me also say though as you can guess... it is wade wilson so suffice to say lolol you gotta be in the mood for it but i highly recommend it

iron man, vol. 3 (1998) first comics i ever read so they hold a special place in my heart. you also get rumiko fujikawa, whom, is probably the only best canon relationship you see tony in in all of 616 to this day. forever salty and bitter over the fact that she just got forgotten about over time. like wades run above, ive only read the first 30 issues of this too so i cant speak of the rest of the run (which i will finish someday i swear it) but was a real good introduction to iron man comics in general and just a good time with cameos from nat (black widow) early on and other known characters pop in and out. shows tonys friendship with carol danvers which!! is!! so!! important!!! and never gets spoken about either after this run much to my knowledge which im always salty over because they both help each other through alcoholism and their struggles. and they both pick each other up when the other has fallen back down to the bottle or is on the brink of doing so.

   It's a new beginning for Iron Man as Kurt Busiek and Sean Chen reinvent the Armored Avenger! Tony Stark is back, with a new company, Stark Solutions...but the Mandarin plans to destroy Tony's dreams before they take shape! And if that's not enough, Iron Man must face Firebrand, Whiplash, MODOK, Controller, Fin Fang Foom, Count Nefaria, the Exemplars, Ultimo and the all-new War Machine - while romancing the beautiful Rumiko Fujikawa and protecting his secret identity! 

black widow, vol. 1 (1999) nats first solo run, only 3 issues and highly recommended

    Natasha Romanov has always led an exciting life - first as a Cold War-era Soviet spy, followed by her defection to the West. She has earned a reputation through the years as a consummate professional, coldly efficient and as deadly as her namesake. Now, her time as Black Widow may be at an end. Yelena Belova, the new Black Widow, seeks to claim the mantle she feels was stolen from her Motherland. Trained in the arts of espionage and combat, and anxious to prove herself and eliminate her counterpart, Belova will stop at nothing to achieve her goal. 

avengers: red zone (2003) steve and tony are stupid and literally give up oxygen for one another to live. self sacrificing jackasses. tony doesnt even hesitate ok i hate him so much (really cool storyline though)

When the Red Skull infiltrates the United States government, he authorizes a biological weapon to be released from the peaks of Mount Rushmore, and it is up the Avengers to contain it! Under the direction of creators Geoff Johns and Olivier Coipel, the Avengers face a threat unlike any they've ever faced - then they take on the Red Skull himself!

secret war (2004) Starring Wolverine, Spider-Man, Daredevil, Captain America, Black Widow, Luke Cage and more! Brian Michael Bendis, the most popular and acclaimed writer in comics, reveals the darkest chapter in Marvel Universe history! When Nick Fury discovers a disturbing connection between many of Marvel's deadliest villains, he assembles a ragtag team of the MU's most misunderstood heroes for a secret mission to do what the U.S. government could never allow - eventually leading to a super-powered blowout between a who's who of NYC heroes and mutants!

cable and deadpool (2004) i think this was my first introduction to wade (either this or his first vol.) and how gay him and nathan summers are like wowow what a duo ok. shipping aside these guys have such hilarious, great dynamics together throughout the whole series and im forever salty we didnt get more of them (50 issues wasnt enough ok)

Wade Wilson is Deadpool, the mentally disturbed merc with a mouth and a healing factor that just won't quit! Nathan Summers is Cable, the messianic mutant from the future who plans to save us all - whether we want him to or not! And now, this disparate duo has just become Marvel's oddest couple - because they're stuck with one another! Can two grown men armed to the teeth with high-rech weaponry coexist without driving each other crazy?! It's action, adventure, time travel, dimension-hopping, black humor, black-ops, Bea Arthur, chimichangas - yes, that whole thing started here - and lots of gunfire as two of Marvel's fan-favorite antiheroes take on each other and everyone else!

new avengers, vol. 1 (2005) steve and tony co-parent a new team after all the core ‘original’ members of the team parted ways after clints ‘death’ quality stony aside, this run (for the first 20 issues before civil war happened) was such a fun ride and introduced me to a lot of other characters i hadnt read much of before and is probably one of my favourite marvel runs

In the aftermath of Avengers Disassembled come the New Avengers With the Avengers disbanded following an attack by one of the team's oldest members, a shadowy villain has taken advantage of their absence to initiate his ominous plans. Employing Electro to disrupt the electrical systems of the maximum-security prison known as the Raft, hundreds of super-powered villains are freed to wreak havoc on New York. Without the Avengers to answer the call, a group of heroes must form a makeshift alliance to subdue the rampaging villains and save the city. In the heat of battle, this new team fills the void left by the Avengers' demise - the New Avengers. After shocking the Marvel fans with the series-shattering "Avengers Disassembled" storyline, writer Brian Michael Bendis and artist David Finch begin an all-new chapter in Marvel Comics history with New Avengers. Featuring a cast of fan-favorite characters including Wolverine, Captain America, Iron Man, Spider-Man and Spider-Woman teamed with the hard-edged heroes Luke Cage and the Sentry, New Avengers presents a 21st-century revitalization of the classic Avengers concept. Plus: The mystery of the Sentry revealed. The Avengers try to help the most powerful super hero in the world figure out who he is and where he came from. But will this knowledge destroy the man they're trying to help?

CIVIL WAR TIE INS ok so it goes without saying if you get into marvel comics, civil war is an event that i think you should read just so you have as its one of the biggest and well known events it’s had. the aftermath of it affects 616 massively and its better if you know the gist of what happened. it has 7 core issues which you can read here. i’m just not putting it on my rec list as a rec per say as i am not a fan of how it was written and find it extremely problematic, and ooc for both steve and tony with many of what they say/do. in saying all that i am a fan of some of the tie ins it had (there’s like 500 million different civil war tie ins m8 its a mess, don’t even try to read them all. i just went for my favourite characters and was happy to find they were handled really well)

iron man/captain america: casualties of war (2007) a whole issue recapping steve and tonys greatest hits in 616 (when people try to tell me that stony isnt canon i get so goddamn amused because this is the one of many comics i could pull out and school ya’ll with) 

In the midst of Civil War, Captain America and Iron Man meet secretly, one last time, to see if there's any hope of working things out before further tragedy occurs. Don't miss this oversized special that reveals how these two men, once the closest of friends and staunchest of allies, could end up leading opposing armies in the conflict tearing apart the Marvel Universe!

winter soldier: winter kills (2007) remember that time mcu decided to bring in bucky into civil war when he didnt even make an appearance GOOD times buck stops by the city during civil war and stays on the outskirts and decides to school the young avengers on How Shit Gets Done (this issue is one of my favourites bucky wise)

In the midst of the harsh division of the Civil War, James Buchanan Barnes, Captain America's one-time partner Bucky, faces his first Christmas of the 21st century. And faces the truth of the terrible things he was forced to do as the Winter Soldier. And with Cap caught in a conflict he can neither take a side of - or understand - what moves can he make to try to redeem himself? And what do Hydra have planned for New York this Christmas? Featuring guest appearances by the Young Avengers and some of the original Invaders, this Special issue is an action-packed character study that defines the Winter Soldier's future place in the Marvel Universe.

civil war: front line, issue #11 (2007) steve and tony both get interviewed after steves ‘loss’ 

The final issue is here! Follow Ben Urich and Sally Floyd on the quest for the truth about Civil War! Discover the dark legacy of Robbie Baldwin, formerly known as Speedball, now called Penance!

civil war: iron man (2007)  Two tales of suspense ripped from the pages of Civil War Captain America has fallen into a clash with his government and his friends, and the people close to him are paying the price. The life of Cap's girlfriend, Agent 13, is torn apart as her superiors use her divided loyalties against her. Elsewhere, a new villain emerges; the Red Skull begins to make himself known; and the Winter Soldier again comes face-to-face with Cap. Meanwhile, get inside the mind of of Tony Stark, and learn why he feels superhuman registration is necessary - and why he's taken it upon himself to lead the charge for its implementation Big changes are in store for Iron Man in the post-Civil War landscape, and the build-up begins here.

civil war: spider-man (2007) Life couldn't be more complicated - or more dangerous - for Peter Parker. After rushing to the aftermath of the Stamford Massacre to offer aid to its victims, Peter travels with Tony Stark to Washington, D.C., and the White House - where the enactment of the Super Hero Registration Act appears imminent. As the Marvel Universe braces for the implications of legislation that will forever change the societal status of super heroes, Peter is forced to make an important personal decision - maybe the most important decision of his life. As Civil War tears apart the super hero community, will Spidey stay true to that decision?

captain america, vol. 5 issue #25 (2007) steves ‘death’

civil war: the confession (2007) dont fucking do this to yourself. if you’ve read the song of achilles...  think of this as a single issue comic form of tsoa (i dont want to talk about it ok not ever)

fallen son: the death of captain america (2007) these comics were done so incredibly well. each issue deals with one of the five stages of death and shows you how affected and how shaken every member of the superhero and otherwise was by steves death. peter parkers deals with depression and the black suit comes out and i fucking want to puke just thinking about it. tony ‘ive grown up in the spotlight and known how to play audiences and fake it and show im Fine’ stark cant even speak on the podium and has to step away and is shaking and im emo go away

Can the world accept the death of a true hero? In the wake of a tragedy, we visit the top heroes of the Marvel Universe. How do people with amazing powers face a force that no one can fight? Is more violence coming? Featuring Wolverine, the Mighty Avengers, the New Avengers, Spider-Man and Iron Man!

MARVEL - CONTINUED

captain america, vol. 5 issues #26-50 (2007) after steves death... there is no longer a captain america. that is, until... james buchanan barnes decides to pick up the mantle (after much coaxing and support from tony, sam, nat and sharon) and continue steves legacy.... though... he does things a little different. he uses guns and the villians literally shit themselves its fucking hilarious. crossbones i think at one point straight up just yells at him saying CAPTAIN AMERICA DOESNT USE GUNS! ‘this captain america does’ my hero uwu i love this run for a lot of reasons... it was the first time i got to see buckynat and learn their origins from the red room, you get to see their dynamics in current day and how well they still work together, tony and bucky have very good scenes together and you get to see a letter steve left tony asking him to look after bucky (fuck dont talk to me about how steve... despite everything that they were going through during civil war... steve still entrusted tony with the one thing that means everything to him since he first became captain america... his friend, his once sidekick, his bucky) to save bucky from himself and dont come near me ok. you also get bucky and sam wilson working together which 😂😂😂 good fcking lord ok look at this Quality Content the only compliant i have about these issues is the treatment of sharon carter with what they ended up doing to her yikes

In the aftermath of the fabled hero's assassination, Agent 13, Bucky Barnes, the Falcon, Black Widow, and Iron Man come together again in a desperate attempt to keep his dream alive. But the collapse of Steve Rogers' dream was merely the first step in the wicked machinations of the Red Skull, who is determined to see the death of America follow soon after the death of the Captain. As the Skull's master plan kicks into motion, and chaos begins to take hold of the United States, only one man stands in its way - but is he up to the task? Freed from the psychosis that transformed him into the relentless mercenary known as the Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes is called on to live up to the dream in ways he never imagined. Eisner Award-winning writer Ed Brubaker refuses to let up on the action, suspense, and human drama in a tale that ties together all eras of the star-spangled warrior's history. {sidenote: if you’re a bucky fan and want to know more backstory with him in 616, check out the winter soldier arc which is the first 14 issues in this same run}

young avengers, vol. 1 (2005) this first vol. is heavily underrated and doesnt get spoken about as much as its following vol. you have lgbt rep with billy & teddy who are just the purest most sweetest beans and you get kate bishop before you meet her in fractions hawkeye and shes just Wonderful

When the original Avengers disband, a team of teenage heroes comes together to fill the gap. Their first order of business: surviving the wrath of Kang the Conqueror and weathering the disapproval of the adult Avengers Next, the newly formed Young Avengers take on super-powered sadist Mister Hyde, the extraterrestrial Super-Skrull and a full-scale alien invasion, juggling their parents and their private lives at the same time.

alias (2006) Meet Jessica Jones, a former costumed super hero who, in fact, stunk at it. With powers unremarkable in comparison to the great icons of Marvel, Jessica never found her niche. But once she hung up her cape, she was surprised at how quickly she fell out of the spandex loop. Sure, she may hang out with some of the Avengers socially, but she`s not welcome in Avengers Mansion. And she feels the rejection. She`s self-destructive, drinks too much, and has a huge inferiority complex. And did we mention that she's now a Private Investigator who specializes in cases of the super human variety? So if you're thirsty for the film noir feel and complex characterization, grab a stool at the bar!

mythos: captain america (2008)  He may be dead, but now you can find out how the man became the legend! Mythos revisits Steve Rogers’ transformation from a weakling with a heart of steel to the Sentinel of Liberty! From the mind of Paul Jenkins’ and the stunning art of Paolo Rivera comes the origin of CAPTAIN AMERICA!

invincible iron man (2008) remember that time tony stark wiped out his goddamn BRAIN to protect the identities of every last superhero he knew? remember when we got pepper as rescue being fucking badass and gorgeous in her own suit? 

Looking for some old school Iron Man super-heroics? Want to see Shellhead let loose with his repulsors? Filled with page-to-page action, this book shows the Armored Avenger doing what he does best: fighting big name villains armed to the teeth with deadly technology in between jet-setting around the world as billionaire playboy Tony Stark. 

secret invasion (2008) like civil war, i think this is another marvel event that deserves to be read and should be read if you’d like to understand certain things that follow it in the 616 universe. as well as i did quite enjoy this storyline {sidenote: read secret invasion: the infiltration beforehand if you plan to read this}

spider-woman (2009) jessica drews first solo run. you find out her origins and the art is absolutely stunning. definatly worth checking out.

The team of Brian Michael Bendis and Alex Maleev return to a Marvel comic for the first time since their Eisner award-winning run on Daredevil. Ripped from the pages of Secret Invasion and New Avengers, this explosive chapter follows the new adventures of Jessica Drew, aka: Spider-Woman, as she rediscovers her life in a world she did not make.   

young allies comics 70th anniversary special (2009)  a really cool buck comic flashing back to his day as bucky and flash-forwarding too bucky!cap

Before they were Invaders, Bucky Barnes and Toro the Flaming Kid joined forces with four teen-age friends to battle the Third Reich as the Young Allies! Their fictionalized adventures thrilled readers on the Home Front throughout World War II, but their real story has never been told -- until now! Discover the truth behind comics' original kid gang! Action! Intrigue! Adventure!

deadpool: suicide kings (2009) Deadpool's latest job has gotten him into a world of trouble. Everyone wants a piece of him - and for a crime he didn't commit That's right: Someone's framed Deadpool, and it just might be the same guy who hired him in the first place, a guy who just might be using the mouthy merc as a wild card in a twisted wager. If Wade's going to clear his name and serve up some revenge, he's first got to avoid getting captured - or killed - by some of the Marvel Universe's heaviest hitters: Daredevil, the Punisher, and Spider-Man. Plus, see what happens when Deadpool goes behind the scenes of "Pain Factor" - the reality TV game show so controversial, it's been banned around the world.

deadpool: merc with a mouth (2009) It's the Merc with two mouths! Deadpool travels to the Savage Land to retrieve what might be the deadliest bioweapon the universe has ever seen. What is this deadly object? Well, Deadpool's employer is being a little vague about that. Let's just say when the secret is finally revealed, it's enough to throw even the Merc with two Mouths for a loop.

iron man noir (2010) Marvel's Noir line ranks among the most intriguing of the alternate-universe superhero reimaginings. Through the lens of Depression-era New York, the likes of Spider-Man, Luke Cage, and Wolverine have a harsher, tougher light cast on their essential characters. Snyder (American Vampire) rips a page from Indiana Jones' notebook and turns Tony Stark into a hard-charging adventurer who must come to terms with a troubled psyche as he races the Nazis for possession of an ancient "metal of the gods." From exploring the deep sea to invading military strongholds, Garcia delivers gritty action to match the drama and darker hues to capture the tone. With appearances by the Noir versions of other Marvel regulars (Sub-Mariner Noir, for instance), this is a fine treat for fans, and although newcomers will enjoy it, too, they should be warned that this isn't Robert Downey Jr.'s Iron Man. The one major drawback, as with so many mainstream collections lately, is its brevity, at only four collected issues.

avengers prime (2010) the first time steve and tony properly talk to each other since the events of civil war. basically a brotrip to asgard and shenanigans with naked horseback riding ensues. this is such a fun 5 issue ride 20/10 to recommend one of my favourites

They were friends, brothers and teammates through all of Marvel's greatest adventures, but recent events turned them into the bitterest of enemies. In the wake of the Siege of Asgard Thor, Iron Man and Steve Rogers are brought together on the same side once more, but these great heroes can't truly trust each other yet. They better start soon because something only the Big Three can handle is tearing their world apart. This all-new, grand and dangerous adventure will catapult our heroes into the explosive Heroic Age and will unite comics legend Alan Davis with Avengers scribe Brian Bendis for the very first time.   

black widow: the name of the rose (2010) some cute buckynat stuff plus overall just a good natasha story

Natasha Romanoff is not a super hero. And yet as the Black Widow, she manages to hold her own against a world of incredibly powerful enemies and allies. But now someone has tried to kill Natasha and almost succeeded. Now she sets out to find her attacker with no suspects and no leads. Who could be deadly enough to get the drop on Natasha? 

winter soldier (2012) bucks first solo run by brubaker which is highly entertaining with nat along for the ride. when winter soldier (2014) got announced i ran around looking for every comic with buck in it i could get my hands on and this run was such a ride to get an introduction to him in 616 for the first time. we just ignore the shitty writing choices made at the end re: buckynat yes sir we do

He's been Bucky and Captain America - now, James Barnes returns to the role of the Winter Soldier! They're the super-spies of the Marvel Universe - and when ex-Russian sleeper agents awaken, Bucky and the Black Widow must go on the hunt for men trained by the Winter Soldier himself. But when the trail leads to Latveria, Bucky comes face-to-face with Dr. Doom! Can Bucky and the Widow prevent war with Latveria? Can Bucky stop the sleepers he himself trained? 

hawkeye, vol. 4 (2012) for people who don’t even read comics... to try and get them into comics? i hand them this. this run is hands down probably one of the best things marvel has ever produced and is the Clint Barton we deserve. just give me a neftlix hawkeye series based on this and i can die happy. the writing is fanfuckingtastic and the art is very well done too. we get kate bishop fighting alongside clint and you get lucky aka pizza dog (for who has a whole issue of a Day in the life of, its fab) you get being reminded that as much as 616 likes to forget about it... clint barton is canonically deaf and does in fact know sign language and just... just read this. if you only read one thing off this entire list? make it this

The second Hawkeye ongoing series by Matt Fraction and David Aja, the creative team behind Immortal Iron Fist. The legendary superhero during his time when he is NOT being an Avenger. Clint Barton becomes a landlord and a pet owner, but in the process makes some deadly enemies. Plus, can he balance a relationship and a friendship with a certain red-headed Russian spy, ex-wife, and flirtatiousfemme fatale? The series had one Hawkeye Annual. This series lasted 22 issues, after which it was continued into All-New Hawkeye with a new team. 

captain marvel, vol. 7 (2012) carols first solo run as captain marvel :) The "Mightiest" of Earth's Mightiest Heroes is back! Ace pilot. Legendary Avenger. One hundred percent pure bad-@$$. Carol Danvers has a new name, a new mission - and all the power she needs to make her own life a living hell. As the new Captain Marvel, Carol is forging from a challenge from her past! It's a firefight in the sky as the Banshee Squadron debut - but who are the Prowlers, and where has Carol seen them before? And how does secret NASA training program Mercury 13 fit in? Witness Captain Marvel in blazing battlefield action that just may change the course of history! Avengers Time Travel Protocols: engage! 

a babies vs. x-babies (2012) bucky bear. need i say more?  It's coming--and it's bringing babies with it! Who will live? Who will die? Who will get diaper rash? Find out as the X-Babies face the A-Babies in the tie-in to end all tie-ins!

black widow (2014) gorgeous art by noto (iconic) + fantastic writing  You've seen Black Widow as an Avenger and even an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. But on her own time she searches for atonement for her past as a KGB assassin - in ways of which those teams just wouldn't approve. The Black Widow goes undercover in Russia, but from its cold streets, the Hand of God reaches out to crush her...and it is as merciless as its name implies. Outmatched by the brute force of a powerful new villain, Natasha faces her deadliest test, and discovers a deadly plot unfolding that spans the entire globe.

hawkeye vs. deadpool (2014) wade teams up with clint (team up is a strong word... more like wade keeps harassing clint till he caves and helps) and its highly entertaining 

Once upon a time, champions emerged to fight the evil plaguing humanity. They fought for all that was good in the world. They were kind, generous and self-sacrificing. They were heroes. These are not those heroes. Meet Hawkeye: ladies man ("ladies man" because the ladies love to hate this man), mighty marksman and, most importantly, Avenger. He's the only guy on the team without any powers, though. Then there's Deadpool (Mr. Deadpool to you), the regeneratin' degenerate. You can shoot him, stab him, and punch him right in his face, but nothing can keep the Merc with a Mouth down. What do they have in common? Halloween in Brooklyn, and a S.H.I.E.L.D. espionage mystery that has both heroes racing the clock! But will Deadpool and Hawkeye kill each other before they figure it out?

captain marvel, vol. 8 (2014) Hero! Pilot! Avenger! Captain Marvel, Earth's Mightiest Hero with an attitude to match, is back and launching headfirst into an all-new ongoing adventure! As Captain Marvel, a.k.a. Carol Danvers, comes to a crossroads with a new life and new romance, she makes a dramatic decision that will alter the course of her life - and the entire Marvel Universe - in the months to come. But as Carol takes on a mission to return an alien girl to her homeworld, she lands in the middle of an uprising against the Galactic Alliance! Investigating the forced resettlement of Rocket Girl's people, Carol discovers that she has a history with the man behind the plot. But when the bad guy tries to blackmail Carol and turn the Avengers against her, it's payback time! Guest-starring the Guardians of the Galaxy!

silk, vol. 1 (2015) Cindy Moon exploded out of her bunker and into the Marvel Universe when we first learned that she had been bitten by the same radioactive spider from the first arc of AMAZING SPIDER-MAN. She then went on to save Peter Parker's life (more than once!) and traverse the Spider-Verse alongside Spider-Woman. Now, as SILK, Cindy is on her own in New York City, searching for her past, defining her own future, and webbing up wrong-doers along the way! Robbie Thompson (writer from TV's SUPERNATURAL) fills this new story with his unique blend of antics and feels. Featuring interiors by future superstar Stacey Lee. 

I’ve been behind in 616 for a few years now, so there’s probably a lot of good runs i’ve left out... but these are just all ones that i’ve personally read and have enjoyed os hopefully there’s a few in here that catch your interest and you also enjoy (616 is currently a mess though with the hydracap fiasco and tonys in a godddamn coma, rhodeys dead and im still salty about everything so dont go there with me #intro post to being a comics fan) also i highly recommend checking out marvel masterworks trades as they’re great to own and such a blast back to the past

DC

batman: year one (1987) A young Bruce Wayne has spent his adolescence and early adulthood, traveling the world so he could hone his body and mind into the perfect fighting and investigative machine. But now as he returns to Gotham City, he must find a way to focus his passion and bring justice to his city. Retracing Batman's first attempts to fight injustice as a costumed vigilante, we watch as he chooses a guise of a giant bat, creates an early bond with a young Lieutenant James Gordon, inadvertently plays a role in the birth of Catwoman, and helps to bring down a corrupt political system that infests Gotham.

batman: a death in the family (1988) fuck dont do this to yourself man. this is the storyline that brutally killed off jason todd in ‘88 because there weren’t enough votes to save him (i will hunt them all down one day i swear on jays name) as painful as it is, i think its worth checking out as you get an insight into jason as a robin and how his death came to be (cry he was too trusting and cared too much and his mother didnt deserve him)

Batman readers were allowed to vote on the outcome of the story and they decided that Robin should die! As the second person to assume the role of Batman's sidekick, Jason Todd had a completely different personality than the original Robin. Rash and prone to ignore Batman's instructions, Jason was always quick to act without regard to consequences. In this fatal instance, Robin ignores his mentor's warnings when he attempts to take on the Joker by himself and pays the ultimate price. Driven by anger with Superman by his side, Batman seeks his vengeance as he looks to end the Joker's threat forever.

batman: knightfall, vol. 1 (1993)  Villainous Bane breaks the Bat. He releases the inmates of Arkham Asylum to create chaos. Batman must push himself to physical and mental limits and capture Joker, Poison Ivy, Riddler, Killer Croc and more. But is Bruce Wayne still beneath the mask? Original Part One: Broken Bat + Two: Who Rules the Night.

nightwing, vol. 1 (1995)  Dick briefly considers retiring from being Nightwing forever before family papers uncovered by Alfred reveal a possible link between the murder of the Flying Graysons and the Crown Prince of Kravia.

nightwing, vol. 2 (1996) The solo book sees the former Robin trying to be his own man, but often leads him back to his roots with Batman. Having left Bludhaven, Nightwing is now re-inventing himself and rediscovering his passion for crimefighting.

nightwing: alfred’s return (1995) After leaving Gotham City at the end of "KnightsQuest," Alfred travels to London. But when a young man who may be his son comes under fire, Alfred calls on Nightwing to mount a rescue mission.

batman: the long halloween (1996) this was such a cool, dark story and was a major influence in nolans film regarding the friendship between dent, jim gordon and bruce as batman. 

Taking place during Batman's early days of crime fighting, this new edition of the classic mystery tells the story of a mysterious killer who murders his prey only on holidays. Working with District Attorney Harvey Dent and Lieutenant James Gordon, Batman races against the calendar as he tries to discover who Holiday is before he claims his next victim each month. A mystery that has the reader continually guessing the identity of the killer, this story also ties into the events that transform Harvey Dent into Batman's deadly enemy, Two-Face.

batman: dark victory (1999) The sequel to the critically acclaimed BATMAN: THE LONG HALLOWEEN, DARK VICTORY continues the story of an early time in Batman's life when James Gordon, Harvey Dent, and the vigilante himself were all just beginning their roles as Gotham's protectors.Once a town controlled by organized crime, Gotham City suddenly finds itself being run by lawless freaks, such as Poison Ivy, Mr. Freeze, and the Joker. Witnessing his city's dark evolution, the Dark Knight completes his transformation into the city's greatest defender. He faces multiple threats, including the apparent return of a serial killer called Holiday. Batman's previous investigation of Holiday's killings revealed that more than one person was responsible for the murders. So the question remains: who is committing Holiday's crimes this time? And how many will die before Batman learns the truth?

robin: year one (2000) Already entrenched in the Batcave and his official training complete, young Dick Grayson has a world of experience to gain, and a ton of new enemies to make, beginning with the truly insane Mad Hatter! Ultimately, over the course of YEAR ONE, Robin crosses paths with many crazed villains in Batman's Rogues Gallery and makes a new deadly enemy for himself, one whose impact will be felt in the present-day pages of NIGHTWING! ROBIN: YEAR ONE explores many facets of Dick's early days as Robin, including his struggle to live a "normal" childhood while continuing to serve not only as the Boy Wonder, but also as the ward of one of the world's most visible, richest and eligible businessmen, Bruce Wayne. Not unlike BATMAN: YEAR ONE, which became an enduring classic because of its account of a hero in the making, ROBIN: YEAR ONE will reveal how Dick became the hero he is today.

harley quinn, vol. 1 (2000) remember that time i was reading a harley quinn comic and dick grayson stopped by and i fell in love and got more into dc and batfam? GOOD TIMES uwu ah, memories. harley has pet hyenes need you know more? 

HARLEY QUINN is not the story of an honorable woman and her quest for justice. Instead, it’s a love story gone horribly, horribly, horribly wrong, especially in the first extra-length issue, as the Joker's girlfriend must do without Mister J's "calming" influence. And considering just how many sandwiches short of a picnic Harley is, you know this book's going to be wild! Harley is driven to astounding lengths to free her loony lover. And that's just in the first seven pages. What follows is too strange for words, though it does involve one itsy-bitsy cameo by Batman. Just one! Once you see life through the eyes of Harley Quinn, you'll find she makes a lot more sense. Would you believe a little more sense? {sidenote: remember when batman animated writers originally only created harley quinn as a character for the joker to beat on and treat like shit? but then dc fixed themselves by making her more then that and developing her properly and fleshing her out in her on solo fun? good times yes}

batman: gotham knights, issue #17 (2001) bruce officially adopts dick  "Matatoa" part 2! Batman battles for his life with the eternal shaman whose destiny includes killing the Dark Knight and taking on his nocturnal crime-fighting duties! It would secure Batman a safe, crime-free Gotham City for all eternity--but at what cost does it all truly come?

batman: hush (2002)  BATMAN: HUSH is a thrilling mystery of action, intrigue, and deception penned by Jeph Loeb (BATMAN: THE LONG HALLOWEEN) and illustrated by comics superstar Jim Lee (ALL STAR BATMAN & ROBIN, THE BOY WONDER) in which Batman sets out to discover the identity of a mysterious mastermind using the Joker, Riddler, Ra's al Ghul and the Dark Knight's other enemies - and allies - as pawns in a plan to wreak havoc.

green lantern, vol. 4 (2005) that time i read all 67 issues of gl within a few days because i fell hard for the short tempered piece of shit hal jordan

Hal Jordan has returned to the role of Green Lantern and taken up residence in rebuilt Coast City. This series examines Hal's re-acclimation to normal living as he attempts to protect the world from danger and enjoy being human once again.

batman r.i.p. (2008) Tying into his other blockbuster stories of 2008 Final Crisis and Batman: The Resurrection of Ra's Al Ghul, the legendary Grant Morrison confronts readers with the unthinkable...the death of The Dark Knight. The troubled life of Bruce Wayne seems to spin out of control when his relationship with the mysterious Jezebel Jet deepens. Soon Bruce Wayne drops out completely, having seemingly become the victim of mental illness and abandoning his Batman identity for a life on the streets of Gotham City. Capitalizing on the fall of their greatest foe, the Club of Villains begin a crime spree through the streets of Gotham that threatens to bring the city to its knees.

batman and robin (2009) we were the best, richard’’ RIP me. after bruces ‘death’, following the events of battle for the cowl (if you’re a jason todd fan for the love of god pretend its a different jason). dick reluctantly picks up the batman mantle... which also means he picks up batbrat damian wayne alongside him as the latest robin. this run is hands down one of my favourite dc runs and i highly recommend it for various reasons (once again though, jasons written terribly and i hate how dc continuously puts my beautiful boy through so much shit even after they goddamn beat him to death with a crowbar they still manage to treat him more poorly)

The new Dynamic Duo hit the streets with a bang in their new flying Batmobile as they face off against an assemblage of villains called the Circus of Strange. They also tackle their first mission investigating a child who's been abducted by the mysterious Domino Killer. But will everything go smoothly? And who exactly are the new Batman and Robin? The newest era of The Dark Knight begins here!

red robin (2009) these are probably my pride and joy of trades that i own (along with all my old school nightwing trades) and took me forever to get, but so worth the running around. tim drakes first (and so far only run you facists dc) solo series 

Following the aftermath of BATTLE FOR THE COWL, a new Batman watches over Gotham City. But not everyone is ready to give up on the old one. Someone believes that Bruce Wayne may still be alive...and that someone is Red Robin. But who is wearing the Red Robin costume, and why is he traveling the globe looking for a dead man? Whoever he is, he's not alone in his search and has been targeted by the League of Assassins. What does Ra's al Ghul want with Red Robin? Why are members of the League of Assassins being targeted for death? And what happened to the life Red Robin left behind?

gotham city sirens (2009) such an underrated run and such a good 

This all-new series features the bad girls of Gotham City! Catwoman, Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn are tired of playing by other people's rules regardless of which side of the law they're on. These tough ladies have a new agenda that's all their own, and they'll use any means necessary to pursue it. But can they get along and work as a team? And who will get hurt along the way? DETECTIVE COMICS and STREETS OF GOTHAM writer Paul Dini kicks off this brand-new ongoing series with amazing artwork by Guillem March

batman: under the red hood (2011) jason todd jason todd jason todd one of the few good (any) jason todd based story-lines that treat him well and give you a solid read story wise (i also highly recommend checking out the 2010 film, jensen ackles voices jay and does an amazing job) 

Batman is confronted with a hidden face from the past — it’s the return of the vigilante Red Hood who appears to be Batman’s one-time partner Jason Todd, the same Jason Todd that died many years ago. But the Red Hood’s violent ways pit him against the Dark Knight in his hunt for the very person responsible for his death: The Joker.

red hood: lost days (2010) ignore what they did to him with talia it was hella yikes i pretend it doesnt exist cause its goddamn gross and not at all ok otherwise highly recommend if you want more quality jason todd

After his death at the hands of The Joker, Jason Todd was resurrected by Batman’s foe Ra’s al Ghul as a weapon against The Dark Knight. Now, learn what secret events led Jason on his eventual path of death and destruction as he tours the DC Universe learning dangerous skills in an effort to find his way in a world that left him behind. 

batwoman: elegy A new era begins as Batwoman is unleashed on Gotham City! Marked by the blood-red bat emblem, Kate Kane is a soldier fighting her own private war - one that began years ago and haunts her every waking moment. In this first tale, Batwoman battles a madwoman known only as Alice, inspired by Alice in Wonderland, who sees her life as a fairy tale and everyone around her as expendable extras! Batwoman must stop Alice from unleashing a toxic death cloud over all of Gotham City -- but Alice has more up her sleeve than just poison, and Batwoman's life will never ever be the same again. Also, witness the origin of Batwoman in the shocking and tragic story "Go," in which young Kate Kane and her family are kidnapped by terrorists, and Kate's life - and the lives of her family - will never be the same! (did i mostly put this here so hira doesnt kick my ass? yes. is it also worth checking out though? also yes)

blackest night (2009) i reread this again after i binged some green lantern and lololol it made x100 more sense. however, its not required, and is a pretty cool story even if you aren’t familiar with how gl verse works. 

Throughout the decades, death has plagued the DC Universe and taken the lives of heroes and villains alike. But to what end? As the War between the different colored Lantern Corps rages on, the prophecy of the Blackest Night descends and it's up to Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps to lead DC's greatest champions in a battle to save the Universe from an army of undead Black Lanterns made up of fallen Green Lanterns and DC's deceased heroes and villains.  also the batman tie ins were great too

batman: the black mirror (2011) one of my favourite dick!batman stories as its also incredibly dark and gritty

In "The Black Mirror," a series of brutal murders pushes Batman's detective skills to the limit and forces him to confront one of Gotham City's oldest evils. Helpless and trapped in the deadly Mirror House, Batman must fight for his life against one of Gotham City's oldest and most powerful evils! Then, in a second story called "Hungry City," the corpse of a killer whale shows up on the floor of one of Gotham City's foremost banks. The event begins a strange and deadly mystery that will bring Batman face-to-face with the new, terrifying faces of organized crime in Gotham.

batman: gates of gotham (2011) more quality dick!batman plus quality batfam and a classic original enthralling story

When a mystery as old as Gotham City itself surfaces, Batman assembles a team of his greatest detectives – including Red Robin, Owlman, I-Ching and others – to investigate this startling new enigma. As clues are discovered and the mystery deepens, Batman’s team soon finds itself on a journey that explores different eras in Gotham’s history and touches upon notable Gotham families including the Waynes, Kanes, and Elliotts.

batman, vol. 2 (2011) this was part of dcs new52 relaunch & my intro to dc and batman. the court of owls was an amazing story-line and executed so well as problematic as a lot of runs in new52 were and things in this run too, overall i recommend it for anyone wanting to get to know bruce and the batfam better

After a series of brutal murders rocks Gotham City, Batman begins to realize that perhaps these crimes go far deeper than appearances suggest. As the Caped Crusader begins to unravel this deadly mystery, he discovers a conspiracy going back to his youth and beyond to the origins of the city he's sworn to protect. Could the Court of Owls, once thought to be nothing more than an urban legend, be behind the crime and corruption? Or is Bruce Wayne losing his grip on sanity and falling prey to the pressures of his war on crime?

green lantern, vol. 5 (2011) In the aftermath of a deadly showdown between the Green Lantern Corps and a mysterious foe from the past, Hal Jordan has been stripped of his ring. Left standing is an unexpected new Green Lantern in town: Sinestro! And now, this renegade GL has set a course for Korugar with one purpose: To free his homeworld from the scourge of his own Sinestro Corps, with the not-so-willing help of Hal Jordan!

rebirth (2016) brings us to the latest relaunch ‘rebirth’ of which i am extremely behind whoops but i can tell you right now that basically every title in this relaunch is worth checking out (i only read a few issues of nightwing, green arrow and batman but they’re all worth checking out my guy)

if you’re interested in any of the arrowfam comics go directly too @blackcanarydinah she will school you on things i one day hope to know

for buying comic trades i’d recommend using bookdepository as they do worldwide free shipping, for single issues i usually use tfaw or ebay. if you need more resources i have a shit ton of comic shit bookmarked, just hmu if needed for whatever 🤗💕

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'I completely lost it': the movie scenes that made our writers weep

New Post has been published on https://writingguideto.com/must-see/i-completely-lost-it-the-movie-scenes-that-made-our-writers-weep-2/

'I completely lost it': the movie scenes that made our writers weep

From Toy Story 2 to Under the Skin, writers pick the cinematic moments that made them cry and explain why. Spoilers ahead

Aunt Lucys trip, Paddington 2

On the face of it, Paddington is a fairly broad kids film franchise about the hijinks of a CGI bear, and so probably shouldnt make a grown human cry hot, salty tears. But that description ignores the fact that Paddington is a really, really well-made kids film franchise about the hijinks of a CGI bear, one that completely gets the pathos of its central character, a little lost immigrant searching for something resembling a family. Both films ably tug at the heartstrings, but the second film got me sniffling as early as 15 minutes in when Paddington imagines giving his only living relative, Aunt Lucy, a tour around London, something that in reality is impossible as shes stuck thousands of miles away in darkest Peru. When at the end of the film spoiler alert Aunt Lucy arrives on the Brown familys doorstep and she and Paddington hug, I completely, unapologetically lost it. Lord knows what surprises Paddington 3 has planned for my tear ducts. GM

When She Loved Me, Toy Story 2

Just before writing this, I put When She Loved Me from Toy Story 2 on YouTube once again, just to check. Yep. Just as always, I choke up, in the same abject, lip-wobbling, head-bowed way. It still has that terrible power.

When She Loved Me is the song written by Randy Newman and sung by the devastated toy cowgirl Jessie and in fact performed, beautifully, on the soundtrack by Canadian singer Sarah McLachlan. The song is Jessies way of telling Woody why she has grimly decided to submit to the airless world of the toy museum, because it is better than the inevitable heartbreak and delusion of loving a fickle human child. She reveals her anguish that her owner, Emily, has fallen out of love with her outgrown her, in fact. As Emily entered the world of adolescence, pop music and boys, Jessie was left under the bed and finally dumped.

When I first saw this scene and misled by the size disparity between toy and owner I thought it was a parable for a childs anxiety over being abandoned by the parent. But now that I am a parent I can see the truth which is completely the opposite way around. It is about the parents fear of being abandoned by the child: the terrible fear, actually the terrible certainty, that the kid one day wont want to play with you. They will grow up and want something else. This song is utterly devastating. It is modern cinemas equivalent of the Vesti La Giubba aria from Pagliacci the tragic clown smiling on the outside but crying on the inside. Im afraid to watch it too often. I dont want to break down over and over again. But I also want to preserve its power over me. PB

Ruths death, Fried Green Tomatoes

In many respects, Fried Green Tomatoes is not a movie for the modern age. It is a story about racism in the deep south told largely by way of eliciting our sympathies for wealthy white characters; it is a story about a lesbian relationship that had to slide its lesbian relationship in unnoticed, by presenting it as a very close friendship fulfilled by food fights, poker games and heads leaning meaningfully on shoulders. But I am deeply fond of this 1991 Sunday afternoon classic. Ive seen it more times than is healthy, and so I know exactly what is coming and when, and yet am still unable to resist the inevitable guttural sobbing that comes with the death scene.

There are plenty of teasers for it, too: Buddy on the train tracks, even Mrs Threadgoode talking about the death of her adult son. Nothing, however, can prepare the viewer for Ruth asking Idgie to tell her the old story about the frozen lake thats now somewhere over in Georgia. It doesnt so much pull on heartstrings as play a full symphony on them, and its devastating. As Sipsey puts it, a lady always knows when to leave. RN

The rooftop dance, Eat Pray Love

While I was repelled by the mere existence of the Eat Pray Love book, I found something strangely charming about its big-screen translation. It was a mixture of glossy food porn, glossy travel porn and glossy Julia Roberts emoting porn (she remains one of the best fake criers in Hollywood) all wrapped up in a rather unique tale of a woman trying to unshackle herself from the men in her life. But while that all provided mostly surface-level enjoyment, one scene cut deeper and the extent to which it cuts surprises me still.

As is often with the case with movie tears, these were tied to a real-world experience that had happened not long before I sat down to watch. I was dumped by a long-term boyfriend without much of an explanation and without any sort of warning. I was heartbroken and seeking some form of closure that was kept cruelly out of reach. I didnt understand why it had happened and it was the not knowing that felt harder than the break-up itself.

In the film, Roberts character has left her flighty husband and remains haunted by the heartbreak shes caused. On a rooftop in Delhi, a vision of him appears and they dance to Neil Youngs heart-grabbing Harvest Moon, the song that was supposed to accompany their first wedding dance. She reminds him that she did love him. He tells her he still loves and misses her. They cry and continue to dance. At the end, she tells him that it wont last forever, nothing does. Its a short scene but it hit me like a bus, it still does now. My tears are for the film but theyre also for something deeper: the sting of loving someone who stopped loving me and the ache of an ending I was never allowed in real life. BL

The thunderstorm, Click

Adam Sandler can make me cry harder than hes ever made me laugh, the true test of a clown. Yes, even in the underappreciated comedy Click about a dad who finds a magical remote control in the Beyond section of Bed Bath & Beyond.

Sandlers workaholic architect fast-forwards through the worst parts of his day the dull weeknight frozen dinners with his family, the repetitive arguments, the gross times everyone gets knocked out by the flu in order to get to his next promotion so he can buy his kids whatever they want. His plan doesnt go well, of course. But whats shocking is how gut-rippingly painful it is to see Sandler hit play on his life only to realize hes skipped past everything that matters. His bodys been present, the bills have been paid, but his emotional engagements been staticky a trade-off too many of us can understand.

In the climax, old man Sandler sobs in a thunderstorm as he arrives at his daughters wedding only to learn shed rather her stepdad walk her down the aisle, and his son has grown up to mimic his job-first, family-second example. I rarely cry at unavoidable tragedies where no ones at fault. My weakness is characters regretting choices they cant rewind. Click isnt Ingmar Bergman Sandler gets a happy ending but I barely saw his relief through the rainstorm on my face. AN

The courtroom, Kramer vs Kramer

By all accounts, Robert Bentons film Kramer vs Kramer skews heavily toward Dustin Hoffmans Ted, whose wife Joanna has left him and their six-year-old son Billy. Billy and Ted make french toast together, or argue about eating ice cream before dinner, or visit the nearby jungle gym. Were it not for Meryl Streep and the trenchant, intuitive way she humanizes a woman who, in the 70s, would have otherwise been made to seem mawkish and unstable Kramer vs Kramer might be just a schmaltzy panegyric on fatherhood.

But leave it to our greatest living actor to turn a film on its head with a single scene. You know the one: Joanna, during the custody hearing, is subjected to a string of sexist questions about her failure as a wife and a mother. When asked why shes seeking custody of Billy, she blinks three times, beginning the monologue Streep herself wrote in an effort to redeem her character, who she initially perceived to be an ogre, a princess, an ass.

Billys only seven years old. He needs me, she says, reciting the word need with a whispery uptick as she glances at her ex. Im not saying he doesnt need his father. But I really believe he needs me more. After catching her breath, she becomes more emphatic: I was his mommy for five and a half years. Since I was about Billys age when my parents got divorced, ergo, too young to understand or even care, Ive always been astonished and, by proxy, moved by how compassionately Streep plumbs the depths of Joannas truth. JN

The beach, Under the Skin

Little focuses the mind more effectively on human distress than the arrival of your own kids; scenes in films which I might once have snoozed through now induce boggle-eyed terror OH MY GOD, DONT LEAVE THAT BABY NEAR THAT COFFEE TABLE, IT HASNT GOT A CORNER PROTECTOR! But nothing has topped at least, not yet the scene in Under the Skin where Scarlett Johansson murders a swimmer and drags him off to eat him.

Its not the murder thats so epically upsetting, though its gruesome enough: Johansson, playing an alien visitor permanently on the lookout for human nutrients, simply bangs him over the head with a large stone as he lies prone and exhausted on the beach. Its what goes on in the background that is so awful. A woman goes into the water to try and rescue her drowning dog, and her male partner instinctively rushes in after her, leaving their toddler alone high on the shore. Johanssons chum the only other adult on this lonely Scottish beach goes to help too.

With the speed of falling dominoes, a nice little day out unravels: the mother and father are swept away to who knows where, and the alien takes her chance to acquire their would-be rescuer as a food source. Meanwhile, the suddenly abandoned kid is shrieking in terror as the night closes in. Another, less astute film-maker, might cap the scene with the alien scooping the kid up and adding him to her dinner menu, but what Glazer contrives is absolutely horrifying. Johansson-alien simply ignores it, and leaves it alone. The film moves on, this incident consigned to the past.

I have to confess I was absolutely blindsided by the scene; mostly, I think, because of the its sheer unexpectedness. I think I was gripped by a kind of internal hysteria: shock, hyperventilation, a feeling the back of my head might explode. (I cant say I actually cried though I may have, but in the confusion I cant really remember.) I certainly had to hold on to the seat to stop myself bolting out of the cinema then and there. I am aware theres a some degree of self-indulgence here: the fact that my daughter was about the same age as the kid in the film undoubtedly super-sensitised my reactions. But everyone has their weak spot; this is very much mine. AP

The birth, Cheaper by the Dozen 2

Cheaper by the Dozen 2, if you havent seen it you probably havent, why would you have? is the sequel to the remake of family comedy Cheaper by the Dozen, and Im sure it was made because Steve Martin, the star of the franchise, needed to pay his mortgage. The main gist of the movie is that Martin and his wife, played by Bonnie Hunt, have 12 children who get into various japes. Its asinine. But during a time in my life when I was making a lot of transatlantic flights, Cheaper By the Dozen 2 was always an option on the British Airways seatback televisions, and one day I found, because of the frequency of my flights, I had watched all of the other films.

What choice did I have? At the climactic scene, where the oldest daughter, played by Piper Perabo, gives birth, and then names the baby after her father because he has shown her that there is no way to be a perfect parent, but a million ways to be a really good one, I cried so much the man sitting next to me regarded me with what appeared to be real concern. There may have not been enough cocktail napkins on the whole plane to dry my tears. Was it the recycled air? Was it the two miniature bottles of white wine? Or was it that a joyful childbirth scene can warm the cockles of even the coldest of hearts? JHE

The accidental reunion, Manchester by the Sea

Weve got a real talent for repression back in Massachusetts. Kenneth Lonergans searing Manchester by the Sea plays out a 15-minute drive from my childhood home and, true to life, the characters all struggle to articulate the perfect storms of emotion raging within them.

When Lee (Casey Affleck) has a chance encounter with his ex-wife Randi (Michelle Williams), the shared history between them is literally unspeakable. They sputter out fragments of sentences that act as a shorthand for vast reservoirs of guilt and self-loathing they cant bear to express, and because they know one another so intimately, they can intuit all the meaning they have to. Theyve both shoved a lot deep down inside just so they can look at themselves in the mirror, and when in the presence of the only other person on the planet who understands what theyve been through, some of it has to come out. Randi does most of the talking, inviting Lee to lunch so they can get some closure, and he ends the conversation by walking away. Shes ready to face her past and be fully present in the new life shes built for herself. Lee, a North Shore boy born and bred, feels more comfortable starting a bar fight as his form of therapy. CB

The hotel, Unrelated

Joanna Hoggs first film, Unrelated, has had something of a second life on account of being the debut of Tom Hiddleston, and set during a Tuscan summer, which means swimming pool, which means toplessness, and lots of it. Its nice to imagine the Loki-lovers streaming this masterpiece of English upper-middle-class excruciation. As its ending shows, specificity is no barrier to emotional oomph.

The story sees a woman in her early 40s, Anna (Kathryn Worth), holidaying with old friends and their teenage children. She finds she prefers the company of the kids, especially the charming Oakley (Hiddleston, then 26, playing eight years younger). The holiday implodes. Anna goes to stay at a grim airport hotel. Her friend visits, crossly wanting to know whats behind her behaviour. Anna explains that, quite recently, she thought she was pregnant but no, in fact, it was an early menopause. Shell never be able to have children. She sobs and bends double on the bed. It is shot in one take, from the middle distance, acted with a banal frankness which feels like eavesdropping.

When I saw it a decade back, it floored me: a twist I hadnt foreseen, a pain I could only imagine. A few years ago, I began consciously avoiding the film, fearful a similar fate awaited me. Now I can safely watch it again or, I thought I could, but Hogg is much too superb and mysterious a film-maker for that. It isnt simply the information which is terrible, it is the dreadful catharsis of its expression, coming after so much obfuscation. The stifle has gone; instead there is the most awful sadness. Buttoning up is often the bravest way. CS

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

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The alternative 2016 sports awards: the years best quotes, gaffes and meltdowns

https://clearwatergolfclub.com/the-alternative-2016-sports-awards-the-years-best-quotes-gaffes-and-meltdowns/

The alternative 2016 sports awards: the years best quotes, gaffes and meltdowns

Your investment medal tables: it had been another big year for sporting soap opera. The quotes, the rows and also the capybaras that made yesteryear 12 several weeks special

Star of the season

Cristiano Ronaldo won a 4th Ballon dOr, launched a variety of CR7 blankets, tossed a microphone into a lake, inspired a tantrum meme, and located the eras defining football press conference, using the press banned from asking them questions. He denied it had been his idea to possess the questions resulting from a Uefa media officer rather: I decide nothing. Also, he made an appearance to goes a magic fully-created Euro 2016 TV graphic during Portugals quarter-final. Perfect.

Ian Finch (@FinchIan)

Not only a skilful player, Ronaldo may also gob out a replay wipe #POLPOR pic.twitter.com/UC44YRv5TA

June 30, 2016

Manager of the season

Claudio Ranieri, using the edge off 2016.Hey, man, dilly-ding, dilly-dong. Seriously! Former Ranieri player Gianfranco Zola revealed the saying was attempted and tested. Hes always stated dilly-ding, dilly-dong. Hes a vibrant guy. Initially when i first heard it’ understood what he meant. He explained it a lot of occasions.

Modern footballer of the season

Lots of contenders, but two Rental property men share the title: club captain Gabby Agbonlahor, relegated on the nitrous oxide legal high 2 yrs after extending his Rental property deal because: I get that very same buzz pulling around the Rental property shirt, and team-mate Joleon Lescott, who livened up last seasons harsh run-in by tweeting a photograph of a sports car following a 6- defeat and telling the press how going lower would be a real weight off the shoulders. He left on the free in August.

Also standing his ground: Poultry midfielder Ozan Tufan upset with media critique throughout the Euros after he was caught on camera doing his hair as Croatias Luka Modric formed as much as score before him. I do not get the way a single moment by which I actually do my locks are considered an error. It damages my confidence.

Best Olympic moment

Recording the atmosphere: Nikki Hamblin and Abbey DAgostino helping one another finish Rios 5,000m after colliding mid-race. Hamblin: After I went lower it had been like: Whats happening? Why shall we be held on the floor? And all of a sudden theres this hands on my small shoulder. That girl may be the Olympic spirit, immediately.

Story from the summer time

Syrian teen Yusra Mardini winning her heat within the 100m butterfly for that Refugee Team in Rio, annually after surviving the capsize of the six-man dinghy transporting 20 refugees towards Lesbos. This is actually awesome there are plenty of tales about me now and lots of people who wish to take my picture: its assisting to spread our message. This doesn’t stop here This isn’t the finish.

Most off-message

1) US womens football star Hope Solo, reflecting on their own Rio quarter-final defeat to Norway: We performed a courageous game but we performed a lot of cowards. The very best team didn’t win, I strongly, firmly think that. They wont allow it to be far. They provided the ultimate. And 2) The uniform golfers delivering their pre-Games causes of not likely to Rio. Rory McIlroy: Though the chance of infection in the Zika virus is recognized as low, it’s a risk nevertheless. Dustin Manley: My concerns concerning the Zika virus can’t be overlooked. Jason Day: The only reason behind my decision may be the danger to future people in our family. And Vijay Singh: I must take part in the Olympic games, however the Zika virus, you realize everything crap.

Best change of direction

Originated from Sepp Blatters substitute at Fifa, Gianni Infantino calling his new pay deal evidence of its emerging anti-avarice culture. Infantino stated his modest contract 1.15m fundamental plus bonuses, vehicle, house, 1,542-a-month expenses and funding for just one-off costs for example 1,100 for any tuxedo and 660 on flowers reflects greater than any word can reflect my strong will to finish recent conduct.

Former Fifa man of the season

Most relaxed because the FBI required a grip: former Concacaf mind Jeffrey Webb, who located a Harlem Renaissance-themed blackjack party in Feb while under house arrest in the Georgia mansion he bought with fraud money. Webb, looking for sentencing next May, required the Concacaf presidency this year pledging to attract a line underneath the organisations shameful Jack Warner era: We must move the clouds, and let the sunshine in.

Interview of the season

Gary and Paul ODonovan, live on RT in August after winning Irelands first rowing gold discussing the craic, Nutella, peeing in cups, how you can row (close your vision and pull just like a dog), and just how sad they believed to stay in Rio simply because they were missing the Rio-themed parties in Skibbereen. Recently these were named RT Sport Team of the season, appeared inside a new documentary Pull Just like a Dog, were interviewed for Graham Nortons New Years Eve BBC1 show, and named as Britains most Googled Irish-related search phrase within the entire 2016. Gary: Its funny the way in which its labored out.

Best commentary moments

Icelands Euro 2016 coverage, which from Irelands Cathal Dennehy and Ronan Duggan, live streaming Aprils Irish Universities Athletics Association womens 4 x 400m dramatic relay final being an outsider billed in the depths of hell to victory. Dennehy accepted later hed achieved a pitch approximately your dog whistle along with a squealing pig All of us lost the brain.

Worst commentary moments

1) Canadas Olympic broadcaster CBC apologising in August after their swimming commentator known as the entire mens 200m individual medley mistaking Michael Phelps for Ryan Lochte and 2) John Virgo, confident he was off-air during BBC1s live coverage of Mark Selby and Marco Fus epic contest at snookers World Championship in April: I wanted to watch a bit of racing this afternoon. Ill be lucky to look at some fucking Match during the day. Spokesman: Hes embarrassed and apologetic.

Pundit of the season

The clip that never grows old. Skys Steve McClaren in June, together with his in-play analysis of Englands reaction to Icelands equaliser: It has been the right response from England. You simply think: Not a problem, begin anew, keep dominating, keep getting pressure around the Iceland back four the only real factor they have got may be the big boy in advance Sigurdsson, nobody Sigthorsson Oh, ohhh

Best attitude

Mike Allardyce negotiating the 400,000 top-up that ended his 67-day England reign. He guaranteed undercover reporters hed deliver their pretend clients keynote speaking, thats what Id do, Im a keynote speaker plus good value not only the keynote speech but additionally within the bar after. I do not are available in like many of them, bang, youre off. What happens I am talking about? Im likely to stand in the bar. Possess a couple of social drinks.

Best protest

Charlton and Coventry fans, staging some pot protest in October against both clubs boards by hurling hundreds of plastic pigs in the pitch. @CAFCofficial, 3.02pm: Play is stopped. Pigs on pitch. 3.03pm: (A fantasy ones).

Social networking awards

Best live tweeting: 1) Danny Willetts brother Pete, watching the Masters in April with tweets including: Without words. I once punched that kid in the head for hurting my pet rat. Now look and: Ive shared a shower having a Masters champion. His Ryder Cup online preview in September which branded US fans pudgy, filthy cretins along with a baying mob of imbeciles didnt go down so well. 2) @hastingsufc, remaining professional from the odds in October: Apologies for insufficient updates / Ive been stung with a wasp. Even game, no significant chances. 3) And Icelands @rvkgrapevine, giving one minute-by-minute evaluation of keeper Hannes Halldorssons summer time performance against Portugal. dinns breath propelled our heroic goalkeeper to swat away that weak-ass header and: Goalkeeper Such As The High cliff FACE AT DYRHOLAEY The Only Real Factor Which Will DESTROY HIM IS CENTURIES OF Seaside EROSION.

Most sincere tweet: Sunderlands Victor Anichebe, copying and pasting an excessive amount of what his PR team sent him after Octobers defeat to West Pork @VictorAnichebe: Are you able to tweet something similar to: Unbelievable support yesterday and great effort through the lads! Hard lead to take! But we go again!

Most confused: Californian Facebook user Petra Fyde, asking her buddies and family in June: At the chance of sounding stupid How come a lot of strange men within my facebook inbox saying WILL GRIGGS Burning, YOUR DEFENSE IS PETRA FYDE?????? What the heck is happening?

And also the best-crafted pledge: @Joey7Barton, 24 May: To be a Ranger would be to sense the sacred trust of upholding everything this type of name means within this shrine of football. 15 Sep: I apologise unreservedly.

Frederick Barton (@Joey7Barton)

To become a Ranger would be to sense the sacred trust of upholding everything this type of name means within this shrine of football. pic.twitter.com/nb5yTKq420

May 24, 2016

Best put-lower

Andy Murray in August, requested by John Inverdale: Youre the very first person to ever win two Olympic tennis golds, thats an remarkable task, is it not? Murray: I believe Venus and Serena have won four each. @jk_rowling: Murray just advised John Inverdale that ladies are people too.

Best analysis

One of the footballers reacting to Brexit in June: @PetrCech:It appears as though the greatest decision within the good reputation for the united states is made with different fake campaign and lies. Italys Giorgio Chiellini:The primary problem is an eventual domino effect. I do not think the straightforward United kingdom exit can alter the equilibrium from the whole European economy, besides the acid reflux everyones feeling. I believe the discontent shouldnt result in disintegration. Jermaine Pennant @pennant83: Now we’re not in Europe whats going to take place using the next euros 2018??? And Nolito: What’s Brexit? I believe its dancing. I might be wrong.

Wisest words

25 November:England coach Eddie Johnson, hailing wing Elliot Daly within the buildup for their game against Argentina: He is doing stuff you dont coach. 26 November:Daly sent off after five minutes.

Sharpest PR

Rio 2016 spokesperson Mario Andrada explaining why organisers couldnt be anticipated to simply fix the eco-friendly water within the pool overnight: Chemistry isn’t an exact science.

Best customer support

In August Englands slow over-rate against Pakistan motivated spectator Alexis Larger to tweet: I would like 10% of my money-back. Wouldnt visit football and discover it ended after 80mins. Alex Hales tweeted back: ok DM me your bank details then transferred 4.10.

Miss of the season

Italys Simone Zaza tiptoeing his way to stardom in the place against Germany in the Euros the summers single greatest non-Ronaldo meme. Among the remixes: Zaza like a seagull rubber stamping for worms, Zaza doing Olympic dressage, and Zaza inside a queue for that toilet. Zaza: Regrettably the ball went excessive. It will likely be beside me throughout my existence.

Single worst moment of 2016

Setting a dark tone for Trump, Brexit, Farage and exactly what adopted Germany coach Joachim Lws distressing televised in-trouser scratch and sniff routine in mid-June. Im sorry for this. When you’re filled with adrenaline, unexpected things happen that you simply dont see. I’ll attempt to behave differently later on.

President of the season

Palermos 74-year-old owner Maurizio Zamparini entered 2016 searching to place his coach-eater image to sleep. Heres the way it unfolded:

10 Jan: Zamparini denies hes already feeling twitchy about his new coach Davide Ballardini. I won’t sack him, despite the fact that I possibly could. 11 Jan: Sacks him and hires Guillermo Barros Schelotto. 11 February:Finds out Schelotto hasn’t got his badges and hires Giovanni Bosi rather. 15 February: Sacks Bosi and rehires Giuseppe Iachini, who he sacked in November. 8 Marly:Calls Iachini a fool that has gone mad and replaces him with Walter Novellino. 12 Apr:Sacks Novellino, rehires Ballardini. People say Ive gone mad, but Im the victim here. 6 Sep: Hires Roberto de Zerbi after Ballardini resigns two games in to the season. 28 November:Denies he already has his doubts about De Zerbi. I’ll keep him. That’s my decision. 30 November: Sacks De Zerbi to be pitiful and hires Eugenio Corini to determine out a hard year. Why Corini? There wasnt much on the market.

Most British moment

In April West Indies needed an unlikely 19 in the final to win the planet T20 and Englands Ben Stokes was the person using the ball in the hands to shut the result. Four balls and 4 Carlos Brathwaite sixes later, it had been over. I send Ben commiserations, stated Brathwaite. Hes a complete legend.

Most unpredicted hero

Marcus Willbomb Willis, world No775 as he stunned Wimbledon and, almost, Roger Federer sticking it to trolls who dubbed him Cartman because of his big bones. His Wimbledon run ended having a cheque for 30,000. It is the greatest pay day Ive ever endured. I’m able to repay a few charge cards now.

Chant of the season

Huh! by Iceland. Also worth a mention: tactics-minded Carlisle fans having a Peter Andre-themed message to manager Keith Curle: Woah-oh-oh-oh, Mysterious Curle, I wanna play 3-5-2.

Best falling lower

2016s best football tumbles: Brazilian players Marcelo Cordeiro and Rossi pretending to have been headbutted by each other in October (Cordeiro: Thats just existence. Thats the sport were in) Toulouse coach Pascal Dupraz feeling upset in November by critique of his response to a paper plane brushing his head: Each one of these critics, theyre so brave and Louis van Gaals Miranda Hart pratfall in Feb, because he designed a serious point.

Best Strictly contenders

a) Everton manager Roberto Martnez, filmed dancing at a Jason Derulo concert in Feb b) Mike Allardyce, spotted in Marbella in May spinning on the spot to Rihannas We Found Love and c) Alan Pardew, marking Castles FA Cup final goal by throwing dad shapes on Wembleys touchline. The 3 of these were sacked within several weeks.

Politicians of the season

Were Icelands Ministry for Foreign Matters, @MFAIceland explaining how their 23-man Euro 2016 squad chose itself by whittling lower their people in this country of 332,529.

MFA Iceland (@MFAIceland)

@pin_upicierno pic.twitter.com/ot0Mq2lsjM

June 27, 2016

Best celebration

Michail Antonios horizontal-running grass-dance in Feb after scoring for West Pork. I saw The Simpsons Movie a few days ago. I believe I pulled them back.

Least foreseeable setback

British cyclist Adam Yates, out while watching primary peloton within the Tour de France in This summer, simply to be flattened whenever a fans belt punctured an inflatable Vittel advertising arch. He still continued to win the white-colored jersey, though.

Best clarification

Skiing star Lindsey Vonn, ambassador for Mind skis and bindings, reacted to some ski detaching mid-race in Feb by posting a video of herself destroying her Mind bindings having a hammer. After talks together with her agent she clarified: It was by no means, shape or form an expression around the performance from the Mind skis and bindings. In my opinion in Mind.

Most distracted

French fencer Enzo Lefort entering the Rio Games declaring: Ive given something to arrive here. Its important to not be distracted then being booed through the crowd after his phone fell out of his pocket mid-bout.

Best pose

Roy Hodgson, recognizing themself around the giant screen as England trailed to Iceland.

Danny Bloodstream (@dannyswfc)

Whenever you place your self on the giant screen and wish individuals to think there is a plan… pic.twitter.com/YLX3Mf6kB0

June 27, 2016

Best comeback

Andy Townsend, back on ITV for that summer time: Thats as blatant a problem as youll ever see. Could it have been certainly within the box? I do not know.

Worst luck

Australian rugby league star Jarryd Hayne, cutting short his presentation to 200 school pupils around the risks of the web when his screen began flashing up porn. Organisers stated the pictures didn’t originate from Jarryds device Hayne: It had been awkward. Wow.

Greatest last laugh

Louise Watson obtaining the second biggest fine in Wimbledon history, 9,040, for racket smashing 1,500 greater than Viktor Troickis acceptable for ranting from the worst ever umpire on the planet. She arrived on the scene ahead, though: winning 50,000 on her mixed doubles victory.

Cheapest blow

Spare a concept for Serb rowers Milos Vasic and Nenad Bedik, who showed up in Rio feeling good after 4 years of beginning training and sank after 1,250m.

Greatest attention seekers

Headlining 12 several weeks of viral animal cameos: a) an unflustered cat supporting play at Januarys Everton v Dagenham game, then losing its poise when keeper Joel Robles shooed it b) a squirrel doing the same at Marchs third T20 between Nigeria and Australia (@samuelfez: Watson in to the attack. Zampa at square leg. Maxwell gully. Squirrel deep point #SAvAUS) c) 20 mongooses storming a green during Novembers European Tours Nedbank Golf Challenge in Nigeria

and d) two pitch-invading dogs one sparking an earlier tea in Novembers second India v England Test, another chasing Gois left-back Juninho throughout a Brazilian Serie B game. Juninho stated he ran since you cant tell with dogs locals told RBS TV the stray, Zulu, is simply soppy If he sees a ball, he goes chasing. Not one of them outshone time top sporting animal, though: Brazils hefty and nonplussed golf course capybaras. Australia captain Ian Baker-Finch: That bloody factor is big. Have you ever seen it? Its half wombat, half dog. US player Matt Kuchar: Its just like a moosehead on the gigantic rat. US director Andy Levinson: It appears as though your dog. A just like a dog-pig.

Plus special mention for: Lorenzo the horse, dancing to Smooth by Santana in Rios individual dressage.

Most thorough

These warning notices stuck over the toilets in Rios Olympic Village, banning a variety of unlicensed toilet activities. US basketball star Elena Delle Donne: Guess I will not be toilet fishing today.

Most depressing fact

For fans of the certain age: in May Burys Callum Styles grew to become the very first footballer born in 2000 to look inside a League game in November fellow millennial Moise Kean switched out for Juventus within the Champions League.

Getting people together

Wales midfielder Joe Ledley: dancing for Europe last summer time. One of the headlines: La drole de danse du Gallois and Ledley enflamme le vestiaire.

Best message

Cricketer Liam Thomas wasnt frustrated in October when his prosthetic leg came off as he dived close to the boundary while fielding for that England Physical Disability team. He jumped following the ball rather and delivered a fierce return. Should there be kids available watching who thought they couldnt take part in the game before week, he stated later, I would like these to know they are able to do anything whatsoever installed their mind to.

Most satisfactory reply

Originated from 15-year-old Wimbledon women singles champion Anastasia Potapova answering press questions regarding her existence after winning the ultimate. I do not have siblings or siblings but I’ve got a duck, Vita. Shes small.

Best swagger

Haitian hurdler Jeffrey Julmis the undisputed star from the 110m hurdles in Rio. Within the selection before his race he gave your camera some textbook Usain Bolt-style attitude, then went mind over heels in the first hurdle.

Most uplifting

Showing the planet isnt totally damaged: Barcelonas under-14s side, lightly consoling their tearful Japanese rivals after beating them within the final of Augusts Junior Soccer World Challenge a mixture of hugs and pep talks.

Plus: most offended

Japanese pole vaulter Hiroki Ogita upset by reports in August that hed knocked the bar off with his penis. Irrrve never expected the foreign media to consider me lower such as this. Its false, and i’m devastated they mock and ridicule me a lot. He later tweeted: Watching again, this really is pretty funny, basically let them know myself. LOL.

Find out more: https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2017/jan/01/alternative-2016-sports-awards-quotes-gaffes-meltdowns

[writingguide003-blog]

'I completely lost it': the movie scenes that made our writers weep

New Post has been published on https://writingguideto.com/must-see/i-completely-lost-it-the-movie-scenes-that-made-our-writers-weep/

'I completely lost it': the movie scenes that made our writers weep

From Toy Story 2 to Under the Skin, writers pick the cinematic moments that made them cry and explain why. Spoilers ahead

Aunt Lucys trip, Paddington 2

On the face of it, Paddington is a fairly broad kids film franchise about the hijinks of a CGI bear, and so probably shouldnt make a grown human cry hot, salty tears. But that description ignores the fact that Paddington is a really, really well-made kids film franchise about the hijinks of a CGI bear, one that completely gets the pathos of its central character, a little lost immigrant searching for something resembling a family. Both films ably tug at the heartstrings, but the second film got me sniffling as early as 15 minutes in when Paddington imagines giving his only living relative, Aunt Lucy, a tour around London, something that in reality is impossible as shes stuck thousands of miles away in darkest Peru. When at the end of the film spoiler alert Aunt Lucy arrives on the Brown familys doorstep and she and Paddington hug, I completely, unapologetically lost it. Lord knows what surprises Paddington 3 has planned for my tear ducts. GM

When She Loved Me, Toy Story 2

Just before writing this, I put When She Loved Me from Toy Story 2 on YouTube once again, just to check. Yep. Just as always, I choke up, in the same abject, lip-wobbling, head-bowed way. It still has that terrible power.

When She Loved Me is the song written by Randy Newman and sung by the devastated toy cowgirl Jessie and in fact performed, beautifully, on the soundtrack by Canadian singer Sarah McLachlan. The song is Jessies way of telling Woody why she has grimly decided to submit to the airless world of the toy museum, because it is better than the inevitable heartbreak and delusion of loving a fickle human child. She reveals her anguish that her owner, Emily, has fallen out of love with her outgrown her, in fact. As Emily entered the world of adolescence, pop music and boys, Jessie was left under the bed and finally dumped.

When I first saw this scene and misled by the size disparity between toy and owner I thought it was a parable for a childs anxiety over being abandoned by the parent. But now that I am a parent I can see the truth which is completely the opposite way around. It is about the parents fear of being abandoned by the child: the terrible fear, actually the terrible certainty, that the kid one day wont want to play with you. They will grow up and want something else. This song is utterly devastating. It is modern cinemas equivalent of the Vesti La Giubba aria from Pagliacci the tragic clown smiling on the outside but crying on the inside. Im afraid to watch it too often. I dont want to break down over and over again. But I also want to preserve its power over me. PB

Ruths death, Fried Green Tomatoes

In many respects, Fried Green Tomatoes is not a movie for the modern age. It is a story about racism in the deep south told largely by way of eliciting our sympathies for wealthy white characters; it is a story about a lesbian relationship that had to slide its lesbian relationship in unnoticed, by presenting it as a very close friendship fulfilled by food fights, poker games and heads leaning meaningfully on shoulders. But I am deeply fond of this 1991 Sunday afternoon classic. Ive seen it more times than is healthy, and so I know exactly what is coming and when, and yet am still unable to resist the inevitable guttural sobbing that comes with the death scene.

There are plenty of teasers for it, too: Buddy on the train tracks, even Mrs Threadgoode talking about the death of her adult son. Nothing, however, can prepare the viewer for Ruth asking Idgie to tell her the old story about the frozen lake thats now somewhere over in Georgia. It doesnt so much pull on heartstrings as play a full symphony on them, and its devastating. As Sipsey puts it, a lady always knows when to leave. RN

The rooftop dance, Eat Pray Love

While I was repelled by the mere existence of the Eat Pray Love book, I found something strangely charming about its big-screen translation. It was a mixture of glossy food porn, glossy travel porn and glossy Julia Roberts emoting porn (she remains one of the best fake criers in Hollywood) all wrapped up in a rather unique tale of a woman trying to unshackle herself from the men in her life. But while that all provided mostly surface-level enjoyment, one scene cut deeper and the extent to which it cuts surprises me still.

As is often with the case with movie tears, these were tied to a real-world experience that had happened not long before I sat down to watch. I was dumped by a long-term boyfriend without much of an explanation and without any sort of warning. I was heartbroken and seeking some form of closure that was kept cruelly out of reach. I didnt understand why it had happened and it was the not knowing that felt harder than the break-up itself.

In the film, Roberts character has left her flighty husband and remains haunted by the heartbreak shes caused. On a rooftop in Delhi, a vision of him appears and they dance to Neil Youngs heart-grabbing Harvest Moon, the song that was supposed to accompany their first wedding dance. She reminds him that she did love him. He tells her he still loves and misses her. They cry and continue to dance. At the end, she tells him that it wont last forever, nothing does. Its a short scene but it hit me like a bus, it still does now. My tears are for the film but theyre also for something deeper: the sting of loving someone who stopped loving me and the ache of an ending I was never allowed in real life. BL

The thunderstorm, Click

Adam Sandler can make me cry harder than hes ever made me laugh, the true test of a clown. Yes, even in the underappreciated comedy Click about a dad who finds a magical remote control in the Beyond section of Bed Bath & Beyond.

Sandlers workaholic architect fast-forwards through the worst parts of his day the dull weeknight frozen dinners with his family, the repetitive arguments, the gross times everyone gets knocked out by the flu in order to get to his next promotion so he can buy his kids whatever they want. His plan doesnt go well, of course. But whats shocking is how gut-rippingly painful it is to see Sandler hit play on his life only to realize hes skipped past everything that matters. His bodys been present, the bills have been paid, but his emotional engagements been staticky a trade-off too many of us can understand.

In the climax, old man Sandler sobs in a thunderstorm as he arrives at his daughters wedding only to learn shed rather her stepdad walk her down the aisle, and his son has grown up to mimic his job-first, family-second example. I rarely cry at unavoidable tragedies where no ones at fault. My weakness is characters regretting choices they cant rewind. Click isnt Ingmar Bergman Sandler gets a happy ending but I barely saw his relief through the rainstorm on my face. AN

The courtroom, Kramer vs Kramer

By all accounts, Robert Bentons film Kramer vs Kramer skews heavily toward Dustin Hoffmans Ted, whose wife Joanna has left him and their six-year-old son Billy. Billy and Ted make french toast together, or argue about eating ice cream before dinner, or visit the nearby jungle gym. Were it not for Meryl Streep and the trenchant, intuitive way she humanizes a woman who, in the 70s, would have otherwise been made to seem mawkish and unstable Kramer vs Kramer might be just a schmaltzy panegyric on fatherhood.

But leave it to our greatest living actor to turn a film on its head with a single scene. You know the one: Joanna, during the custody hearing, is subjected to a string of sexist questions about her failure as a wife and a mother. When asked why shes seeking custody of Billy, she blinks three times, beginning the monologue Streep herself wrote in an effort to redeem her character, who she initially perceived to be an ogre, a princess, an ass.

Billys only seven years old. He needs me, she says, reciting the word need with a whispery uptick as she glances at her ex. Im not saying he doesnt need his father. But I really believe he needs me more. After catching her breath, she becomes more emphatic: I was his mommy for five and a half years. Since I was about Billys age when my parents got divorced, ergo, too young to understand or even care, Ive always been astonished and, by proxy, moved by how compassionately Streep plumbs the depths of Joannas truth. JN

The beach, Under the Skin

Little focuses the mind more effectively on human distress than the arrival of your own kids; scenes in films which I might once have snoozed through now induce boggle-eyed terror OH MY GOD, DONT LEAVE THAT BABY NEAR THAT COFFEE TABLE, IT HASNT GOT A CORNER PROTECTOR! But nothing has topped at least, not yet the scene in Under the Skin where Scarlett Johansson murders a swimmer and drags him off to eat him.

Its not the murder thats so epically upsetting, though its gruesome enough: Johansson, playing an alien visitor permanently on the lookout for human nutrients, simply bangs him over the head with a large stone as he lies prone and exhausted on the beach. Its what goes on in the background that is so awful. A woman goes into the water to try and rescue her drowning dog, and her male partner instinctively rushes in after her, leaving their toddler alone high on the shore. Johanssons chum the only other adult on this lonely Scottish beach goes to help too.

With the speed of falling dominoes, a nice little day out unravels: the mother and father are swept away to who knows where, and the alien takes her chance to acquire their would-be rescuer as a food source. Meanwhile, the suddenly abandoned kid is shrieking in terror as the night closes in. Another, less astute film-maker, might cap the scene with the alien scooping the kid up and adding him to her dinner menu, but what Glazer contrives is absolutely horrifying. Johansson-alien simply ignores it, and leaves it alone. The film moves on, this incident consigned to the past.

I have to confess I was absolutely blindsided by the scene; mostly, I think, because of the its sheer unexpectedness. I think I was gripped by a kind of internal hysteria: shock, hyperventilation, a feeling the back of my head might explode. (I cant say I actually cried though I may have, but in the confusion I cant really remember.) I certainly had to hold on to the seat to stop myself bolting out of the cinema then and there. I am aware theres a some degree of self-indulgence here: the fact that my daughter was about the same age as the kid in the film undoubtedly super-sensitised my reactions. But everyone has their weak spot; this is very much mine. AP

The birth, Cheaper by the Dozen 2

Cheaper by the Dozen 2, if you havent seen it you probably havent, why would you have? is the sequel to the remake of family comedy Cheaper by the Dozen, and Im sure it was made because Steve Martin, the star of the franchise, needed to pay his mortgage. The main gist of the movie is that Martin and his wife, played by Bonnie Hunt, have 12 children who get into various japes. Its asinine. But during a time in my life when I was making a lot of transatlantic flights, Cheaper By the Dozen 2 was always an option on the British Airways seatback televisions, and one day I found, because of the frequency of my flights, I had watched all of the other films.

What choice did I have? At the climactic scene, where the oldest daughter, played by Piper Perabo, gives birth, and then names the baby after her father because he has shown her that there is no way to be a perfect parent, but a million ways to be a really good one, I cried so much the man sitting next to me regarded me with what appeared to be real concern. There may have not been enough cocktail napkins on the whole plane to dry my tears. Was it the recycled air? Was it the two miniature bottles of white wine? Or was it that a joyful childbirth scene can warm the cockles of even the coldest of hearts? JHE

The accidental reunion, Manchester by the Sea

Weve got a real talent for repression back in Massachusetts. Kenneth Lonergans searing Manchester by the Sea plays out a 15-minute drive from my childhood home and, true to life, the characters all struggle to articulate the perfect storms of emotion raging within them.

When Lee (Casey Affleck) has a chance encounter with his ex-wife Randi (Michelle Williams), the shared history between them is literally unspeakable. They sputter out fragments of sentences that act as a shorthand for vast reservoirs of guilt and self-loathing they cant bear to express, and because they know one another so intimately, they can intuit all the meaning they have to. Theyve both shoved a lot deep down inside just so they can look at themselves in the mirror, and when in the presence of the only other person on the planet who understands what theyve been through, some of it has to come out. Randi does most of the talking, inviting Lee to lunch so they can get some closure, and he ends the conversation by walking away. Shes ready to face her past and be fully present in the new life shes built for herself. Lee, a North Shore boy born and bred, feels more comfortable starting a bar fight as his form of therapy. CB

The hotel, Unrelated

Joanna Hoggs first film, Unrelated, has had something of a second life on account of being the debut of Tom Hiddleston, and set during a Tuscan summer, which means swimming pool, which means toplessness, and lots of it. Its nice to imagine the Loki-lovers streaming this masterpiece of English upper-middle-class excruciation. As its ending shows, specificity is no barrier to emotional oomph.

The story sees a woman in her early 40s, Anna (Kathryn Worth), holidaying with old friends and their teenage children. She finds she prefers the company of the kids, especially the charming Oakley (Hiddleston, then 26, playing eight years younger). The holiday implodes. Anna goes to stay at a grim airport hotel. Her friend visits, crossly wanting to know whats behind her behaviour. Anna explains that, quite recently, she thought she was pregnant but no, in fact, it was an early menopause. Shell never be able to have children. She sobs and bends double on the bed. It is shot in one take, from the middle distance, acted with a banal frankness which feels like eavesdropping.

When I saw it a decade back, it floored me: a twist I hadnt foreseen, a pain I could only imagine. A few years ago, I began consciously avoiding the film, fearful a similar fate awaited me. Now I can safely watch it again or, I thought I could, but Hogg is much too superb and mysterious a film-maker for that. It isnt simply the information which is terrible, it is the dreadful catharsis of its expression, coming after so much obfuscation. The stifle has gone; instead there is the most awful sadness. Buttoning up is often the bravest way. CS

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