#im not allowed my own stuff or water or food in the lab so i cant just take it while im working like i could if i had a desk job

[phagodyke]

insanely busy at work today. haven't had time to pause even for a few minutes since I got in at 8:15 and its now 1pm AND I missed an entire meeting I was supposed to have with my boss bc I was trying so hard to focus on what I was doing + was so busy I couldn't even log into a pc to check my calendar but its okay she came and found me in the lab and I wouldn't have had time to attend it anyway ahhhhh

[endless-whump]

My little heart’s been yearning for some Irondad recently, lol. Prompt (only if you want to!) so Tony’s been down with a cold, and Peter ends up catching it because he’s been around helping Tony, and he tries to hide it, but his body is too extra so he ends up way worse and he doesn’t understand because it’s supposed to just be a cold. So he’s aware he’s getting worse and he’s frustrated and Tony finally steps in

Thank you for the writing inspiration, Im sorry this took so long to get out! I hope this lives up to what you were looking for!

It started when Tony was acting more tired than usual while he and Peter were working on his suit one Saturday. He kept sneezing every once in a while, resting his forehead against the desk when he thought nobody was looking. Peter noticed, though, and insisted they take a break.

They’d gotten some hot chocolate and settled on the couch for the evening, content to watch some movies and relax at Tony’s cabin. Tony tried to insist Peter stay away in fear he’d catch the cold he had, but Peter simply brushed his concerns off, going on about how he didn’t get sick easily after the spider bite.

Peter left the next day, needing to get home so he could go to school on Monday. He noticed being a little more tired than usual, but didn’t think anything of it.

“Did you stay up late patrolling last night?” Ned whispered during class. Peter shot him a glare, trying to get him to shut up.

“No, I didn’t. Why?”

Ned shrugged. “You look really tired, and a little pale. You feeling ok?”

Peter just waved him off. “Might be getting a cold, Tony had one when I went over there this weekend. I’ll just sleep it off tonight.”

Ned didn’t push it, and they went about their day like normal. Peter did some patrolling that night, exhausted and a little shaky when he got back, which was strange.

May noticed Peter was a little warm the next morning when he was trying to leave for school, frowning at him and brushing his hair out of his face.

“Maybe you should stay home?” She suggested. “I don’t want whatever you might be catching to get worse.”

“I’m fine, May.” Peter insisted, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.  “You know I don’t really get sick anymore.”

She gave him a hard look but didn’t say anything, letting him walk out the door of the apartment.

It only got worse from there.  Peter couldn’t barely conceal the shivers that plagued him throughout the day, feeling lightheaded and shaky even when he made sure to eat, which he soon realized was getting harder as the food became difficult to keep down.  

He finally caved in when in class he zoned out so bad, feeling dizzy and far away when he almost broke an empty test tube Ned had playfully tossed towards him, reactions slow and hands unsteady.  

He excused himself from the class, locking himself in the bathroom and sitting on the floor.  He put his head in his hands, trying to get rid of the pounding headache. Peter dug his nails into his palms, focusing on his breathing as he shivered.  

He wasn’t supposed to be able to get sick.  He was supposed to be Spiderman, to be able to help people.  He wasn’t supposed to need help or to have to stay home when there were things he needed to do and people he needed to help.  

Peter shakily stood up, going over to the sinks and splashing water in his face.  He just needed to pull himself together, this wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle.  

He went back to class, ignoring the concerned looks he got and the continued nagging from Ned.  When school was finally over Peter felt like he was ready to collapse, relieved to be free from all the haggling about his health.  They acted like he was on deaths door, but this was just a cold, right?

Peter had just made up his mind to go home and sleep before he got a text, opening his phone.

Out front waiting-Happy

Peter groaned in frustration. He’d completely forgotten he was supposed to go to the tower after school to work on some stuff with Tony.  He considered bailing, but he knew Tony would just come poking in his business to see what was up.

He trudged to the sidewalk, spotting the familiar car that usually picked him up. He tossed his backpack in before climbing in the back seat, shutting the door and resting his head against the back of the seat.

“Your less chattery than usual.”  Happy pointed out, putting the car in drive and pulling into the road.

“Just tired.” Peter mumbled, looking out the window.  Happy didn’t push it, driving smoothly through the traffic until they reached the tower.  Peter mumbled his thanks as he got out, pain shooting through his head as he stood up and slung his backpack over his shoulder.

He managed to get in the building without an issue, punching the elevator button to take him to the lab and leaning against the wall. The soft whirring of machinery was enough to have him relax in the dim, warm elevator until he was startled by the ding, indicating he was at his floor. He hefted his backpack tiredly as he walked into the lab, head down.

He really didn’t want to face Mr Stark right now, intending to quietly bypass where his mentor was huddled over a project, and slip to his own desk, but Tony had other plans.

“Hey Underoos, how come your la-” He stopped, looking at Peter intently.  He groaned inside, wanting to escape the unwanted attention.

“Peter, are you ok?” Came the question he was expecting, yet didn’t quite know how to answer.

“I’m fine, Mr Stark, it was just cold, and it was a long day at school.” he set his bag on the floor as he sat down, grateful he didn’t have to worry about how badly his legs were shaking now.

“Uh huh, I don’t buy it for a second.” Came the retort from his mentor.  “You look like death washed over, you’re clearly sick.”

Peter was looking down at his workbench trying to ignore him when his spider senses went off quietly, and he looked up to see Tony tossing him a tool.  He barely caught it, now frustrated.  He wasn’t sure if it was Tony he was mad at or himself, but he didn’t care.

The stool rolled out from underneath him as he stood up, close to tears.  

“Knock it off, Tony! Your always-”

He swayed, his head pounding.  A wave of dizziness swept over him, and he could hear his mentors concerned, muffled voice as he fell, expecting to met the floor but instead being caught in Tony’s arms.

“Peter?!,” He asked, panicked, lowering Peter to the ground as his eyes fluttered shut.  He sighed, cursing his bad back as he picked up the teen, carrying him to a nearby couch in the lab.

“FRIDAY, check his vitals, please.” He called out, biting back a mutter of frustration when the AI reported Peter’s rising fever.  He left briefly, running as fast as he could to collect what he needed and returning to a waking up, disoriented Peter.

“Hey, Pete, I need you to stay still for me, bud.” Tony soothed as Peter tried to sit up, groaning in pain.  “You passed out on me, I don’t think you get to claim everything’s ok anymore.”

He pushed Peter back until he was laying down without much resistance, which almost concerned Tony above all else.  He quickly layered the shivering teen with blankets, holding a water bottle up to him as he tried to get him to drink.

“Your looking super dehydrated, Peter.  Jesus, I didn’t need you inheriting my awful self preservation skills, kid.”

Once he got some water and medicine in him, Tony sat next to him, laying Peters head in his lap as he ran his fingers through the teens soft hair.  He was surprised when Peter moved closer to him, mumbling something as he relaxed, drifting in and out of sleep as he fought the fever.

Guilt gnawed at Tony, and he felt like he was partially responsible for giving the kid the awful sickness going around.  He pulled the blankets tighter around them, picking up his phone and texting May that Peter had shown up sick, but that he was fine and getting taken care of.  

He made a note to himself to get the kid something to eat when he woke up, and if it got any worse he’d contact Dr Cho.

“I’m sorry, Underoos,” He muttered, hugging Peter close to him. He knew he couldn’t hear him, but he didn’t quite care.  “I shouldn’t have messed around with you,,I know you think you hide it, but I can see you trying to hide things from me because you want to be strong.  I know you don’t want to show any signs of weakness, but you need to learn at some point, and so do I, that we’re allowed to be weak sometimes.  We’re allowed to be vulnerable and taken care of when we need it.” He sighed.

“Jesus, you’re a teenager, you don’t need this hero complex on you so early.”

He continued running his hands through his hair, brushing a curl from his face.  Peter, who was still awake, kept his eyes closed, holding back tears at Tony’s words as he let himself relax, falling asleep with the gentle touch

[disegnidipizzo]

finally some decent refs for these two messes on legs/fins

the whole story under the cut, prepare bc i got carried away and i am not sorry about anything, at all, ever, in any circumstance.

SALVIA NUNARI

Salvia Nunari would rather tend for their forbidden plants garden than the troll grubs and would sneak out a lot to do her thing in the very dilapidated greenhouse their ancestor left behind, along with all the books on plants, herbal medicine and poisons (and some interesting things about jades). They know that jades Shouldn’t stray from their path but if their lusus taught them something, it’s that sometimes, you need to do things in the dark. 

Considering that they’re a racoon, they also say a lot of things about finding solace in what one has left behind. It wasn’t about trash, but you got the gist. And they have a pope hat, but you don’t know what a pope is. Still, they look funny with it on. Like a monarch or a ruler of All Things Unwanted and Abandoned.

As they got more experienced, they started making new breeds of plants and crossbreeding some relatively harmless carnivores to create a poisonous/venomous strain, in the very faint hope that MAYBE they could be somewhat employed by the Empire. It wasn’t that much of a plan but. It worked. Sort of. When the baby plant opened its trap, Salvia got poisoned to death thanks to a bite to the neck. Turns out that the new strain can move rather effortlessly and quickly and that it consider food most things that move. 

The first death allows em to ascend to rainbow drinker. 

Follows a minor freak out due to “HOLY FUCK IM GLOWING HOW DO I TURN THIS OFF” and “I’m dead. I’m so dead im still alive.” 

Conveniently, their ancestor’s Very Interesting Things About Jades handbook does contain info on rainbow drinkers and how to turn off the glow. Salvia doesn’t die twice for another day! Good thing it was all in the next chapter.

They had to hide the deathly wound lest being found out (and most likely culled in .5 seconds) before going back to the caverns, hence why they wear the neckpiece. It wasn’t really theirs in the first place, it was one of their ancestor’s ones that had gotten too small for them (but was kinda part of their uniform). 

TIAMAT KIITCH

Tiamat Kiitch enjoyes being eccentric. When you rank so up high, it’s only fair to flaunt your taste, even if it’s not the most accepted by you signclassmates. Sucks to be them, not everybody can understand what it means to Really be a patron of the arts. Or of the artists. Maybe this is why everybody sees you as unfit for the imperial army and would rather shove you on a planet so that they can get some sensory relief. Because a Violet that supports so many painters, sculptors and even musicians of all classes, even below cerulean? Sacrilegious. Or maybe they really just don’t like it. Violets aren’t exactly social with one another. Call that a competitive environment, ay.

As her Departure Day to said planet of Thank God Sound Can’t Travel In The Void of Space, she has to make preparations. A whole sweep ahead is not too early. She’s going out with a bang, mofos.

Also, it’s only fair she would pick the best trolls to be part of her new, off planet hive estate staff. And she is NOT going to cheap out on the good stuff. Going full crew over here, from the doctors to cleaning staff and doctors for the cleaning stuff. Don’t worry, she can afford it.

And she goes to Personally pick the heads of each branch of people who work for her. Since jades make for the best doctors and caretakers, she pays a visit to a few caverns that have great reputation. Which is a good amount of them.

Among the (very few but very capable) jades that have been picked, she just had to have an eye for the one that has that something of mystery and secret but also that knows how to make medicine out of most plants (how did they learn?? Who cares, they can do that and i want them. Get in, we’re going off planet.). Also the one that looks like they’re up to Trouble.

And that’s where the problems begin.

The Actual Plot

Rainbow drinkers need blood, which is easy enough to get on Alternia, since trolls are canonically very violent as a species and all that. Just using dead bodies lying around is easy, there’s also the culled grubs in the caves that need disposing. Yes it sounds bad because feeding babies to carnivorous plants is objectively bad. Also, soil which contains troll blood/ is watered with troll blood is very good for most plants, but leads to fun mutations. Some of them are learning how to “talk” by opening their petals, leaves or traps. Not great conversation partners but you’ll take anything.

Life with Tiamat would mean increasing the chances of being found as a drinker and being culled, blood harder to find and less chances to experiment with herbology independently.

BUT staying wouldn't be better, as once they are cloistering age, they won't be able to even see their garden anymore.

You start to wonder if this is how your ancestor felt. 

You also start to wonder how long has the violetblood been staring at yo-AFJDGN

When Tiamat has an eye out for something/someone, she gets super into observing them. From a distance at first, to understand how they work their magic. Not that she needs to, but she feels like a documentary worker. If she knew what those were.

During the picking process she was surprised by Salvia: despite being rather small, even for a midblood, they had fast reflexes and overall sharp senses, which kind of doesn’t sound right. The hivemaster and some hivemates described them as more aloof and not particularly outstanding outside of average efficiency.

Im realising this could be a disney channel vampire movie plot minus the violence.

They aren't scheduled for leaving for around a sweep, as the colony tiamat is gonna be overseeing will need time before its declared operative and ready for aristocracy to live in. This gives Salvia ample time to transfer books, notes and plant seeds/stems into more easy to carry media. Paper does take up a lot of space. It’s easy enough as books can be digitalised quickly. Technology is great.

More importantly, they need the SOIL. Which needs to be fertilised with special sauce. Which is blood. You decide to get a snack.

Now, you imagine being a fish lady that is following one of your most brilliant but most mysterious doctors around, only to find out they are a vampire and that they water the soil of their plants with troll blood. And that feeds dead grubs to the carnivores. (And that they look kinda cute while glowing in the dark and with a splorch of blood dripping down their lip wait what)

Now imagine hearing a gasp mixed with a glub and seeing your employer which could have you killed on the spot or kill you herself while you are in the middle of getting a snack with your plant and glow on.

Remember that Tiamat is a good 40 cms / one foot and a few inches taller (minus shoes). So you do the math that, even if you run, you won't have much and also run Where? If you fight? Might die. Neither? Also probably die.

So what happens is a very intense stare off. And i mean neither blink for a solid 2 minutes. 

And then Tiamat, slightly intrigued of having a rainbow drinker (super rare and so unjustly or maybe not so unjustly feared) just goes. "So.. that’s your special sauce."

And Salvia just confesses, accepting a death that was gonna come anyways. This was a stupid plan. 

But that death doesn't arrive, Tiamat could never kill or let die something so unique, so completely unruly and also potentially deadly that is by her side die on her. That is the embodiment of what she wishes to keep alive with her patronage, you think having a forbidden vampire scientist is out of the question? Nuh-uh. They are Gucci. So Gucci they’re Supreme.

With time the bond strengthens and they slowly go quadrant

Well, its a sometimes sorta vacillating quadrant but they are into each other.  

They share half a brain cell each

That Gay Shit (tm)

The love part is mainly on Tiamat because hey, its intimate yknow? Being the only one knowing about something so personal. It escalates into giving salvia special treatment/privileges such as better meals, a small lab of their own, a supply of dead trolls to get the blood from (executed political dissidents or criminals but thats another story). Eventually it grows more to being about their personality and their knowledge but also a bit about how they can make an amputation go clean as a bottle of disinfectant, but they will forget to eat a bunch of times in a row.

Salvia does sorta reciprocate the red feelings, but at the same time they lean more on the blackrom side. Constantly making subtle remarks they havent tasted violet blood before. Sorta leaving thankful notes with a lipstick/bloodstain and a small caption of "wish this was yours <3<"

Also salvia purposelly red flirting in front of tiamat with other staff ("But i just thought they look cute :(( cant you see they look like a snacc ")

But theres also days in which the roles are reversed bc thats how fluctuating quadrants work! 

During those days, Tiamat will be taking up a good chunk of extra space around Salvia, just as a reminder that she is not only above them on the hemospectrum, but also a whole lot taller and stronger. Also that she can take away those privileges. Temporarily. Unless they can earn them back.

On the other hand, Salvia in red is super affectionate, loves doing Tiamat's hair and makeup and letting her do the same. They leave occasional small kisses which are more like pecks or "hey feel my fangs".

So in short: 

Red Salvia: the datemate that gives you a makeover in the morning, calls you "princess" and spoils you with gestures and cuddles.

Black Salvia: little shit, messes with your stuff, reminds you that you look delicious when alive.

Red Tiamat: spoils materially, gives plenty of time, shares meals and listens carefully to all that you have to say.

Black Tiamat: would keep you with the hanmibal mask on if she could, keeps you on your toes, stay in your place and be good.

[darkhymns-fic]

Standing By Your Side Whether You Like It or Not!!!

Many things have changed since the human left the Underground. A few monsters had vanished under mysterious circumstances, the even more mysterious Queen had returned to rule, and Undyne now worked within the fast food industry. Also, Undyne was being both very mysterious and moody lately.

His best friend clearly needed some support, and who better to support her than the Great Papyrus?!

Fandom: Undertale Characters: Undyne, Papyrus, Sans Rating: G Mirror Links: AO3, FF.net Notes: Warning for accurate depictions of working in fast food service. :)

“it’s all in the wrist, see?”

“Yeah huh.”

“gotta calculate the right amount of ketchup and relish to fit on the bun. there’s a science to it.”

“Right.”

“taking notes, boss? wouldn’t want you to have to play ketchup once I get into the advanced lessons.”

“That is literally the tenth time you’ve said that joke, stop it.”

The sentry post was tiny, made for the accustomed space of an equally tiny skeleton instead of a tall, high-wired fish monster. But it was the best hot dog business this side of monster town. Well, the only hot dog business, really. No one actually knew what hot dogs were exactly, so Sans had gotten a monopoly on the business. With the population stuck between Muffet’s massively expensive bakery dealings and Sans’ questionable menu, it wasn’t like most monsters had much of a choice in the matter to get some quick and dirty snacks. Unless you decided to hoof it on over to the MTT Emporium, and only if you had a craving for sequins.

Undyne could barely fit into the post, the top of her head brushing against the underside of the roof, the same roof that refused to be cleared of any snow. And like the monsters of the Underground, the former Captain of the Royal Guard was also left with little choice of where to turn to… for money, that is. There weren’t exactly many job openings lately since the King’s demise. MTT’s customer service was all but locked out, Muffet’s business solely practiced nepotism, and she could barely ever get an interview for Napstablook’s Snail Farm and Racetrack, the ghost being too shy to ever meet up with her. Grillby’s had offered, but her former co-workers hung out at the bar plenty, which only made things awkward between everyone. And begging a job from the Queen – well, that bridge was burned no matter what. There was really only one place left for her to go.

Sans had already given the angry fish her nametag before she thought to ask him.

Sure, maybe this wasn’t as glorious as her last occupation, but she was never one to give up – even if the whole situation made her more grumpy than usual.

“What are these hot dogs even made out of?” She glared at the skeleton who was propped up on a small stool, eating his previous lesson prop.

“no worries. it’s all local produce.” He made the a-ok sign with his gloved hands. “scout’s honor.”

“Do we even eat meat down here??”

“hey, would i ever lie to you.”

“Yes, you would?! And you have?! Plenty of times!”

Undyne slammed the counter of the sentry post/hot dog stand with her fist, the wood splintering from the pressure. Even though she glared outright murder at the skeleton, he took no notice.

“huh. doesn’t sound like me.” He slid off his stubby legs from the damaged counter, sitting as straight as his lazy bones would allow. “anyway, better stop slacking, undies. we got customers.”

Honestly though, giving up this job was getting very tempting by the day. And she had only been working one day.

“Ahh~! Open still, yes!”

A happy Vulkin was standing just before the hot dog stand, patiently waiting for them with flushed cheeks, flushed eyes, and a flushing magma core that continually spewed out hot torrents of love! Or whatever the Vulkin liked to call it.

Undyne can’t stand these guys for a number of reasons.

“heya, buddy. same as usual, right?”

“Yeah~! Toasty bun!”

“ya heard the adorable little tectonic plate.” He motioned at Undyne. “give ‘em what they want.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Undyne took out one of the slightly over-burnt buns, placing the hot dog (???) in it, then proceeded to add the toppings. “You want ketchup on it, right?”

“Ahh~! So tasty!”

Well, she was interpreting that as a yes. Heaving a bit underneath the heat, she gripped the ketchup bottle and squeezed. There was an appropriate amount, she supposed. But nah, it looked so lame! She squeezed again, until the hot dog was slathered in it, becoming more and more like a bloody mess of meat and bread.

“kinda overkill, don’t ya think?” Sans criticized.

“You barely ever put any of this stuff on!” Undyne shot back, currently strangling the hot dog with a strong fist. “Especially for a monster that supposedly loves drinking it!”

“Wow~! So very red! And tasty!”

“See? They get it!” Undyne turned her shark-tooth grin to the smiling Vulkin. “Hey! Just getting ketchup is pretty boring! Want some relish? Thousand-island sauce?”

“Ahh~! I am allergic to relish-”

Undyne took out a whole pot that was filled with the relish topping, seemingly out of nowhere. Hot dog in shaking fist, she dunked the food inside the pot until it was completely covered in the stuff. “NGGaahh!”

“wow.” Sans was leaning his skull onto his hand, watching with interest. None of the food splatters seemed to hit him. “chill.”

The Vulkin never seemed to mine that their food was completely soggy, with barely any of the original ketchup left on it. Undyne drizzled some other condiments onto the hot dog, including secret sauce, secret sprinkles, and secret flakes (made by the secret tems). Undyne then slammed the decorative snack into the crater that made up the Vulkin’s head. “Ahh~! Toasty bun! But relish-”

“You need to build up your immunity!” Undyne declared, pointing at the Vulkin. “And the only way you can do that is to face your allergy head on!”

“is that how it works?” Sans asked.

“Thank you~! I love toasty buns!” The Vulkin then walked around the counter to get closer to Undyne. “Thank you! Hug!”

This was one of the reasons why she didn’t particularly like these Vulkins.

“Hey! No need for that. Hold on!”

“come on, boss,” Sans commented. “as your boss, you gotta listen to the customer and accept what they give you. don’t wanna be rude.”

“Ugh, are you serious?”

“Hug~!” The Vulkin moved ever closer to Undyne, the heat of its personal lava overflowing to threaten a certain fish to become fried.

“rules are rules.” Sans shrugged. “and ya gotta work on those social skills a bit more. this is a good start.”

“Hug~!”

“Ngahhh! God damn it-!”

Undyne wasn’t the only one who disliked Hotland.

Papyrus could never truly understand why his brother would voluntarily set up his illegal side-job there. Not that Papyrus could disapprove of Sans finding his work ethic! (Even if said work ethic was for questionable ventures). Apparently, Hotland was where the crowds would gather for having a fresh hot bun in their fresh hot hell. But then, those who enjoyed having conveyor belt puzzles around their homes were probably very strange monsters to begin with!

But since it was Undyne’s very first day into her new job, Papyrus thought it prudent to visit. Well, actually, Sans had thought it prudent for Papyrus to visit. While this would eat into Papyrus’ sentry duties, he supposed he could make this exception. After all, he would be seeing Undyne!

“SANS!” Papyrus shouted, still miles off from his destination as he passed the flashing neon welcome sign. The decibels of his voice echoed across the vast cavernous walls that was the Underground, his brilliant tenor gracing the ears of most monsters, including startling a poor lizard monster who was still at work in her lab. “I AM COMING OVER FOR A VISIT.”

“cool, bro,” Sans spoke back, despite the fact that Papyrus was still very far off and that there was no sign of his brother nearby.

When he finally arrived at the hot dog stand, having to traverse the (shudder) dreaded conveyor belts, his skull was sweating bullets. Not that he was affected by the heat, as he had no skin, but because Hotland was always so very stressful! How could monsters stand to live here? And not the snowy landscape of Snowdin where sensible puzzles containing spikes, electric panels, and other like-minded additions were common?

“HI UNDYNE,” he said, wiping away the perspiration. “YOU LOOK VERY SLIMY. AND… BURNT?”

Any hotter, and Undyne would have been the perfect fishy side-dish, complete with lemon juice and some coleslaw for dipping. But right now, she was mostly just a burnt Undyne, who was angrily sipping away at a plastic cup of water.

“Heya, Papyrus,” she greeted rather morosely.

“YOU LOOK LIKE YOU WERE IN A FIERCE BATTLE! OH! WERE YOU IN A FIERCE BATTLE? WITH A DREADED FIRE-CREATURE?”

“nah,” Sans answered, seated right next to her. “she’s just been working in customer service.”

Undyne, sole eye glaring, had her fists clenched, looking ready to pound the smiling skell’s face. Instead, she swallowed whatever she was about to shout, and continued sipping her water. Already, Papyrus was rather worried about his friend.

“SANS, I HOPE YOU HAVE BEEN TREATING UNDYNE FAIRLY. WHAT WITH HER HOUSE BEING BURNED DOWN AND HAVING NO OTHER SKILL SETS AND QUALIFCATIONS TO GET ANOTHER JOB.”

“hey, im treating her great. right, undies?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

Still, despite her disheveled appearance, what with her sweat and scorch marks, Undyne seemed she was fitting right in! She even had her own uniform! Although it only consisted of both a nametag (spelled ‘un-dine’) and a little cap on her head that had the design of a grinning skull, badly drawn and very asymmetrical. Either way, it was very professional!

“Hey, what are you doing here anyway?” Undyne asked Papyrus, narrowing an eye. “Shouldn’t you be on duty right now?”

Standing up tall, like he would when he had to give his daily reports to Undyne, he nodded. “YES. BUT SANS WANTED ME TO COME OVER. SO I USED MY SOLE VACATION DAY TO COME ALONG.”

Before Undyne could even begin to ask more, Sans made an obnoxious yawn, made even more obnoxious when his jaw never even cracked an inch open as he did so. “welp, time for my legally required break.”

“Man, finally.” Undyne groaned, stretching out her arms. “Can’t wait to eat the lunch alphys made-”

“hey,” Sans waved at her. “my break though. yours is later.”

She stared. “What?! I came in to work earlier than you! When’s my break?”

“later on.” Sans slid off his stool. “that’s why i had papyrus come over. to keep you company.”

“WOWIE. YOU THOUGHT THIS THROUGH, BROTHER!”

“thanks.”

“I never made you work for 6 hours straight with no break! And I could have!”

“no worries. as my illegal worker, i’m giving you all the benefits you have every right to, promise.” Hands in his coat pockets, Sans stood up, sidestepping to the right. “going to grillby’s. be back in ten, or something.”

Undyne was literally shaking but before she could do anything, Papyrus had seated himself right next to her, hands on his bony lap, an everlasting smile on his bony face. “I WILL BE HERE UNTIL YOU GET BACK. JUST DON’T FALL ASLEEP AT GRILLYBY’S AGAIN.”

“hey, you know i never would.” And with a wink, Sans left them both. Just like that, no walking away or anything normal like that. He vanished with that wink, instantly leaving a steaming Hotland, along with the steaming hot dogs, as well as the steaming Undyne.

Grimacing, Undyne ripped off the cap from her head, throwing it to the ground. She proceeded to stomp on it into the dirt, grinding her heel into that badly drawn skull. All the while, she muttered out, “Stupid! Dumb! Stupid!”

Papyrus witnessed this event with happy silence before he interrupted, “DID YOU HAVE A GOOD FIRST DAY SO FAR?”

Her tirade against the hat finished, she slunk back onto her seat, crossing her arms and frowning. “It’s been swell.”

Now, Papyrus didn’t like to think Undyne was being untruthful, but he had a suspicion that she was stretching such truth for him juuust a bit.

“SANS MAY NOT BE THE BEST SENTRY WORKER,” he said to continue the conversation, “BUT HE DOES HAVE A PASSION FOR HIS ILLEGAL FOOD STAND. HE MUST REALLY BELIEVE IN YOU TO HAVE YOU LEARN HIS MANY TRADE SECRETS. AS HE SHOULD, FOR YOU ARE VERY GREAT! NYEH-HEH-HEH!”

Surprisingly, Undyne did not seem to be cheered by Papyrus’ world-renowned praises. In fact, she only frowned even more, staring hard at the hot dog counter, at the very cracks that splintered the wood, resembling lightning strikes.

That was what her mood was like lately, even more so. Like lightning that was ready to lash out at any given moment. But Papyrus knew just who she wanted that lightning to strike down particularly.

Determined to get her out of this mood, Papyrus took out one of the prepared hot dogs that was sitting on a nearby rack. Despite knowing that this violated a number of sanitary regulations, (not that his brother ever practiced them) the skeleton held the hot dog in his gloved hand, ignoring the horrific, greasy feeling it gave him. “SANS CAN ACTUALLY BE QUITE TALENTED WHEN HE PUTS HIS MIND TO THINGS. SEE? HE EVEN CARVED THIS LITTLE KITTY FACE INTO THIS-”

“You don’t need to try so hard, you know,” Undyne finally said. Her voice was low, and her fiery red hair was drenched with sweat. She was back to drinking her water cups, routinely crushing the fragile things in her fists when she was done and throwing them to the side. Usually, this prompted Papyrus to remind her about the important act of recycling, for they had only one Underground after all! But, he decided it would be even more important to stay quiet.

“This is just temporary anyway. So I’ll deal with Sans’ stupid rules and whatever until we finally get out of here.” She took another sip, more angrily this time, her sharp teeth tearing into its rim. “Then I’m going to hunt that punk down and pay them back for what they did.”

She didn’t have to specify for him to know who she spoke about.

Papyrus, balancing the crafted hot cat in his hands, tried to intervene. “I STILL THINK THEY WERE NOT A BAD PERSON REALLY. THEY WERE VERY NICE TO EVERYBODY IN SNOWDIN.”

Undyne stomped her foot angrily, fists clenched, her sole eye sparking in fury. “Yeah, in Snowdin! But what about in Waterfall? What about even here in Hotland? What about what they did to Shyren, who only ever wanted to sing her heart out? Or to my guards who were only following my orders? Those big doofuses who were always in sync…”

She hung her head, her previous fire suddenly engulfed by sober melancholy. It was very much unlike her, but Papyrus had seen this side of her more often than he liked to admit.

“What about what they did to Asgore? The big guy was such a pushover. Probably only offered them tea and a talk about the weather. I can’t…” She grimaced, then pushed out the words in a seething whisper. “I can’t believe I let myself be friends with them in the first place! I knew humans were bad. I knew that they were the reason we were stuck down here, yet I fell for their tricks anyway!”

For a moment, her voice choked up, her breath stuttered, but still she kept going. He had a feeling that this was not a new thing that Undyne was saying, as if this was something she had said to herself for a while now.

“Because of that mistake, I let my friends get hurt. And I let that punk take away all of the other souls. Now we’re back to square one and…” She pounded her fist again on the counter, further widening those cracks, threatening the stand to topple over at any second. “But the moment we get all those human souls back, I’ll find that human and destroy them!”

“BUT, UNDYNE,” Papryus tried to protest. “THE QUEEN RULED THAT ANY OTHER HUMANS THAT FALL DOWN HERE NOT GET HURT. WE CAN’T DISOBEY HER!”

Undyne turned to Papyrus finally, her eye bright, her scales still tinted red from her rage (and near heat-strokes). “The Queen’s been in hiding for so long, and now that she’s back, she expects to be listened to? Asgore was here for all of us monsters, not her! I’m honoring what he wanted us to do – to save all monsters and take back the Surface. Making friends like the Queen wants is what got us into this mess in the first place!” She bowed her head again, back to her sulking. She crossed her arms, looking off to the side. “That was my mistake. I’ll never do that again.”

Undyne started doing these kinds of things now. Dramatic monologues that veered more into vengeance than into hope, more into dealing out justice than into protecting all of monsterkind. It was what she did when she was stuck in their home, having no other place to go. Papyrus would take his breaks with her, just hanging out in the living room. But when she got into these moods, he didn’t always know what to do, except to sit and listen to her berate herself for not getting the human’s soul at the first opportunity.

Once, he had asked Sans just what the human must have done to make Undyne so angry, so… betrayed. His brother had shrugged, but for once, his tone held little amusement. “sometimes you think you know a person.”

Papyrus still believed both Undyne and the human would have been great friends – and they were for a time! Whatever happened to make the human do the things they did (whatever they were – and he hadn’t seen Shyren or some of the Moldsmals for a while actually…) was enough to make Undyne feel depressed. He had hoped that her being a busy with a job would get her out of this mood, and back to her loud, abrasive, bench-pressing self! But not even a day of hard-labor under sweltering conditions could affect her apparently.

Papyrus, still holding the hot cat, (Oh! It even had a little tail! Sans was getting better at this!) pondered on what he could do, or say. Perhaps he could give Undyne the human’s cell phone number! This seemed like a situation where each could discuss their own feelings and finally reach an understanding. Although, Papyrus had only been able to leave a message the last time, and he wasn’t sure if Undyne would just be shouting into the phone for two hours straight. At the very least, it might be therapeutic for her.

He had warned the human to never come back, however…

“SO, IF THE SAME HUMAN DID FALL DOWN HERE AGAIN,” he started. “PROBABLY TO SEE THEIR COOL BESTEST FRIEND, PAPYRUS… YOU WOULD FIGHT THEM?”

Undyne didn’t hesitate. “Yes.” Her fists clenched, and suddenly there was a frightening smile on her face. One filled with righteous fury, and thirsty for a good fight. Her scales were still covered with sweat - the contrast of her exhaustion with the adrenaline rush to her eye made a vivid image. “I’ll pay them back for what they’ve done, and take their soul. And I won’t let anyone stop me –not the Queen, and not even y-!”

She stopped, the passion in her voice flickering out suddenly. Her smile faltered, and her fingers slackened.  Papyrus waited in anticipation. Not even who?? Why did she stop?? He had to know!

“…Doesn’t matter.” Undyne shook her head, mood shifting back to moroseness. She turned away again. “They’d be stupid to come back. But I’ll find them, no matter where they hide. And that’s a promise.”

Papyrus knew Undyne better than anyone – more than Alphys could, and more than maybe even King Asgore did. He knew that she kept to her promises.

“WELL, IF THAT IS WHAT YOU DECIDE…” He puffed out his chest, flexed his bony muscles, and slammed the hot cat in the middle of the counter to showcase his feat of massive strength. “THEN I WILL HELP YOU.”

Undyne blinked, leaving her sulky mood faster than expected. “What? Hey, that’s not… You don’t need to do that.”

“I WON’T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.” Papyrus stood up, his scarf flowing majestically from the hot steams that came from the magma below them, threatening to set the fabric on fire at any given moment. “I AM YOUR NUMBER ONE COOLEST AND BESTEST FRIEND, AND AS YOUR FRIEND, I WILL STAND BY YOU THROUGH THICK AND THIN. EVEN IF WHAT YOU PROPOSE IS NIGH ON CLOSE TO COMPLETE ANNIHILATION AND GENOCIDE OF THE HUMAN RACE IN ORDER TO ROOT OUT THE ONE PERSON THAT HAS WRONGED YOU. BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT BEST FRIENDS DO!”

Undyne was speechless, probably so awed by Papyrus’ fervent declaration of friendship, as well as just how much flexing his arms were doing right now. He understood. He would’ve been speechless himself if he saw someone as awesome as he!

“Paps...” Undyne said finally, using a nickname that used to be common, back before the human ever fell down, back before she burnt her house to the ground. “I can’t let you do that for me. It’s not your fault for what the human did. It’s mine. All the history books Alphys gave me, all the recorded footage and research materials, I knew that humans were capable of terrible things. Yet, instead of doing what I needed to, I gave them cooking lessons.” She stood up as well, back straight, and fists clenched, dedicated. “This is my burden, not yours-”

“WAIT!” Papyrus stopped her, his voice somehow louder than before. Seeing how she nearly matched her height, he stood up on his toes so that he could have that two inch advantage. “I’M SORRY TO SAY THIS, UNDYNE. BUT WHAT YOU SUGGEST… IT IS NOT VERY SMART. IN FACT, I HAVE TO SAY IT’S…” He struggled, then blurt out the rest. “IT’S VERY NOT SMART AT ALL!”

Undyne’s eye twitched. “…What’d you say?”

“UNDYNE, YOU TALK AS IF YOU HAVE TO WAGE WAR ON HUMANITY ALL BY YOURSELF. BUT AS BEST FRIEND OF COOL DUDE PAPYRUS, YOU ARE OBLIGATED TO TAKE ON SUCH VENTURES WITH SAID COOL DUDE PAPYRUS. WHO WILL HAVE YOUR BACK WHEN THE VAST ARMIES OF HUMANITY HAVE YOU CORNERED? WHO WILL RESCUE YOU WITH DARING FEATS OF STRENGTH AND SKILL AT THE VERY LAST SECOND? AND WHO WILL HELP YOU FIND THE LAST MISSING CLUES TO THE HUMAN’S WHEREABOUTS SO THAT YOU CAN FINALLY LIVE OUT YOUR REVENGE FANTASY?” Papyrus jutted a thumb at his chest, his battle body spit-shined clean and looking as dashing as ever. “THE GREAT PAPYRUS, THAT’S WHO.”

Undyne struggled again with speech, but she was quicker this time, grimacing as she did so. “I told you I don’t need any help! And you have no idea just how cruel these humans can be! They’d… they’d eat you alive while you’d still have a smile on your face!!”

“I RESENT SUCH ACCUSATIONS,” he countered. “AFTER ALL, AM I NOT ONE OF THE MOST TOUGHEST MONSTERS IN THE UNDERGROUND, NEXT TO YOU?”

“Well- yeah, you’re freaking tough! But-”

“AND AS ONE OF THE TOUGHEST, HANDSOMEST, AND ALL AROUND RADDEST DUDE, I DESERVE TO STAND BY YOUR SIDE WHILE YOU DISH OUT COLD PLATES OF REVENGE.” Papyrus then stomped his foot, overwhelmed by his own emotions. “I WILL NOT LET MY COOL FRIEND GO OUT INTO DANGER ALONE AND LEAVE ME OUT OF THE ADVENTURE!”

“Ngaaaah! This isn’t just an adventure! This is serious! I can’t let another monster get hurt because of me!”

“THEN YOU NEED NOT WORRY! NO HUMAN CAN EVER HURT ME, NOT UNTIL THEY SAMPLE MY FINEST SPAGHETTI WHICH WILL LULL THEM INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY AS YOU STAB THEM IN THE BACK.”

“…Wow, that’s… that’s pretty brutal, Paps,” Undyne stuttered before recovering. “But still! These humans probably don’t even like spaghetti!”

“THAT IS OUTRAGEOUS. EVERYONE LOVES THE GREAT PAPYRUS’ SPAGHETTI. NOW WHO’S TALKING CRAZY??”

What started off as a beautiful speech of friendship from Papyrus, amazing in its rendition even though it landed hard on the ears, became a shouting contest between fish and skeleton. The churning magma beneath their feet, and the constant steam that formed all around them, added a powerful imagery to their just as powerful words.

“I MEAN, WHO DOESN’T LIKE A MEAN LINGUINI NOWADAYS? DO NOT PATRONIZE ME, UNDYNE. I KNOW THE SECRETS TO CULINARY EXCELLENCE AND I WILL NOT BE INSULTED!!”

“HEY! Don’t forget that I was the one who first taught you about linguini and all the rest! And as your cooking mentor, I suggest you sit this one out!”

So entrenched they were in their shouting contest that they never noticed the little monster, their cheeks blushing and their eyes full of idyllic bliss.

“Ahh~! So loud!”

“MY COOKING MENTOR ALSO TOLD ME TO NEVER GIVE UP! AND THAT IS WHAT I AM DOING RIGHT NOW. NOT GIVING UP, AND NOT BACKING DOWN FROM MY FRIEND WHO NEEDS ME MORE THAN EVER!”

“You can’t turn that back on me! As your former mentor and boss, I order you to give up right now, let me pursue my rage-filled quest alone, and live out your life happily and to the fullest!”

“Ahh~! So contradictory!”

“And another-!” Undyne halted in mid-shout to turn to the monster – another happy little Vulkin who was standing before the counter, its tiny feet shuffling along the ground to a silent tune.

“Oh, right,” she muttered, instantly deflating. “I’m still on the clock right now.”

Papyrus, whose attention was brought fully to the Vulkin, suddenly had the best idea he ever had in his entire life. Which was quite a feat, as he had many great ideas!

“I PROPOSE A COMPETITION,” he said, shooting up his fist to hit the underside of the hot dog stand’s roof.

“A what who now?” Undyne asked.

“A COMPETITION. IF YOU REALLY, TRULY DON’T WANT ME TO FOLLOW YOU INTO THE DARKNESS THAT IS YOUR GOAL…” He pointed at her, smile radiant, and eyes shining great sparkles to show off to Undyne his fervor and that he meant business. “THEN YOU MUST DEFEAT ME.”

Undyne was silent, her sole eye perusing Papyrus with the most piercing look he had ever received from her. Even more than when she assessed him to have the guts (metaphorically speaking) to join the Royal Guard, assigning him his sentry duties as ‘training wheels,’ or so she said.

Finally, her lips curled in a manic grin. Not one filled with revenge, or with darkness seeping at the edges of her fangs, but like his best friend. “Is that a challenge?”

It was time to set the stakes. Papyrus had one hand on his bony hip, gesturing to the Vulkin with the other. “THE MONSTER WHO MAKES THE BEST HOT DOG THAT FULFILL’S THIS VULKIN’S DESIRE CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT. THUS, WHEN I WIN, I CAN ACCOMPANY YOU ON YOUR VIOLENT, DEPRESSION-FILLED QUEST.”

Undyne placed a booted foot on the hot dog counter, wrecking the front of the stand to oblivion. It was quite a feat of craftsmanship that the roof and the sides continued standing and didn’t collapse from the lack of structural support.

“And if I win, you’re going back to being a babybones and working more on your spaghetti. Now bring it on!” Then she fiercely turned to the Vulkin, who was still peacefully smiling at the two. “Now, whaddya want!?”

“Ahh~! Toasty bun!”

“The toastiest bun you ever did see coming right up!!” Undyne plunged her fist into the bucket of water sausages (might as well admit it right now), her strength off-the-charts as she did so, making several of the food items explode on contact. In her hand, she held out some mushy goodness, and plopped that into a bun. Papyrus mimicked her motion, though he was able to retrieve a sausage mostly intact.

“I WILL DELIVER THE TOASIEST BUN, UNDYNE! AND THE TASTIEST! NYEH-HEH-HEH!”

“Ha! That’s all talk!” She narrowed her eye. “Better put your money where your mouth is, Paps!”

“I WON’T, BECAUSE THAT IS VERY GROSS! BUT I WILL MEET UP TO THE CHALLENGE!”

With matching maniacal grins, they held up their respective hot dog buns, both of them having been wrung to near obliteration from the force of the monsters’ drive for victory.

Then they turned around, facing the sea of lava that made up Hotland and was the (weak) inspiration for its name.

“Ready?” Undyne asked, shivering with glee.

“ALWAYS, UNDYNE.”

Then, with supreme dedication for customer satisfaction in making the toastiest buns there ever was, they both charged headlong into the lava, spurred on by the Vulkin’s cheers.

“Ahh~! So dangerous and fatal-inducing!”

One thing that Sans had learned early on is that he should never predict what would happen when he left Undyne and Papyrus to themselves. That’d be useless in the long run. Also, it was way more fun to be surprised anyway.

“heh,” he chuckled when he finally came back from his two-hour break. “guess you both really set this place on fire.”

He wasn’t even exaggerating here.

“BROTHER. I AM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU HAVE RETURNED FROM YOUR BREAKS.” Papyrus greeted with a wave, his bones charred a furious black, soot covering his once-pristine battle body.

“Yeah, just how long was that exactly?” Undyne said, equally charred, but with the whitest smile on her face. Even her hair was singed to the roots.

In both their arms were the charred remains of toasted hot dogs (and cats), the sentry post with the snow-covered roof now completely on fire. In fact, there was fire virtually everywhere, and not just in the magma sea. It was exactly the place that a snowman would never ever want to be even kinda near.

The Vulkin, still standing in front of the destroyed stand, turned to Sans, holding several hot dogs in its core that had infinity-degree burns all over them. “Ahh~! The toastiest!” it squeaked while its very own lava turned all those hot dogs it held into complete ash.

“so hey, quick survey here,” Sans said. “how’d you rate the service you just got?”

“Ahh~! The best! So satisfied!”

“k, great. now how’d you rate Undyne’s fashion sense?”

“Ohh… could be better…”

“Hey!”

“awesome. thanks for participating. here’s a coupon.” He handed the Vulkin a toilet square, which looked to have permanent marker written on it. “for all the free hugs you’re allowed to give my trainee.”

Amazingly, Undyne didn’t even growl menacingly at him for that. She was looking pretty happy actually, still caught in the throes of adrenaline from whatever life-or-death thing she and Papyrus had just been doing. Sure, maybe it cost him some in property damages, but Papyrus seemed happy, too, which was really all that mattered.

“thanks for taking over, bro.” Sans slowly made his way to the stand, now quietly smoldering, but hey, the water sausages were all cooked now, so there was a plus. “what’d you do anyway?”

“WE HAD A COMPETITION ON WHO CAN MAKE THE BEST HOT DOG FOR OUR CUSTOMER! FULL OF FIRE AND PASSION, AND ALSO A LOT OF FIRE!”

“so who won?”

“BOTH OF US! OUR CUSTOMER COULD NOT CHOOSE!” Papyrus shot his fists up in the air. “WE ARE BOTH THE VICTORS AND THE LOSERS!”

“Yeah, it was kinda lame.” Undyne huffed, but couldn’t get the smile off her face. “Well, I’m still going to order you to stay at home, but I guess that’s all I can do, right?”

“EXACTLY. YOU ARE NOW HELPLESS TO MY DREAM OF HELPING YOU!”

Sans, already tired of standing, sat himself down on the ground where fire had also made its home. “helping with what?”

“HELPING WITH UNDYNE’S QUEST FOR REVENGE AGAINST THE HUMAN.”

Sans made only a shrugging motion, looking half-asleep. “sounds neat.”

“Fine, but I’m only letting you stand next to me and looking tough then! I’ll be doing all the dirty work of the maiming and slaughtering!”

“OKAY! I WILL BE YOUR MORAL SUPPORT FOR YOUR DESTRUCTIVE RAMPAGE!”

Now, this was certainly one, sorta-happy ending that Sans would have to get used to. He’d just have to keep it a secret from the old lady for as long as he could. And though he dug his hands in his coat pockets, and made himself a pillow out of the ash, his grin was a little strained. “heh, well if the kid wants to stick with this ending… gotta wish ‘em luck.”