#im like. ok i get it.. but how would i ever know how many segments to make if im doing something on my own

[unowneyenon]

EDIT: i made this list only a little while ago and ever since then SO MANY FINDINGS ARE OUT!!!! OMG EVERYONE IS SO SMART!!! this list is VERY VERY SMALL ANS A LITTLE OUTDATED!!! for the more updated version, go to my profile and it’s the pinned post!!!!!

🏡the update list, updated!🏡

hello again!! tumblr dot com only lets me upload a certain number of urls, and there were so many little details i noticed, so i wanted to try and organize it some more, i guess! enjoy the new(er) findings!

BTW BTW @q-theeccentric in the reblogs reblogged my og post and added a WHOLE LOT MORE info that i didn’t get to! TYSM UR DOING GODS WORK and if u wanna see those look in the tags!

🐛 the bugs and the videos!🐛

by clicking on the small animated bugs throughout the website, you can unusual little clips of welcome home episode segments!! they all show off the official voice actors. the videos indicate that there is a third party who isn’t speaking, which would be wally. Julie asks wally a direct question in one of the videos (spider) and then it cuts off with a glitch and a deep voice. this is a common pattern in many of the vids, and now i’ve personally realized from watching more bug videos that all of them (most likely) are filmed from wally’s perspective!

here are the videos currently found through the bugs (as of july 23 2023)

the spider (shown in og post)

the praying mantis (og)

the fly (og)

the beetle doesn’t have a video, from the info i’ve received!

the moth (NEW🏡)

ok. listen. maybe i’m overreacting but i SWEAR TO GOD this one GASLIT ME. I WAS ABOUT TO CLICK ON THE MOTH and i hear this really faint beeping. and i SWEAR it sounded like morse code. it was so faint but when i closed out of my web browser i COILDNT HEAR IT ANYMORE. AM I ILL??? I SWEAR ON MY MOTHER I HEARD BEEPS. i do not know morse code, so someone please look into that. i was so distracted and freaked out by that soooo i didnt focus too much on the segment. but it was wally, julie, and frank in frank’s garden. i’ll probably watch it again later when this website decides not to literally gaslight me (UPDATE: IM NOT CRAZY ITS NOT MY EARS I TOOK OUT MY AIRPODS AND HEARD NOTHING. PUT THEM BACK JN FOR CLEAR BEEPS. MAYBE IT IS ME. BUT I TOOK THEM OUT AND HEARD NOTHING. AND NOW I DO?? going insane)

the rhino beetle looking one (NEW🏡)

this one can be found at the bottom right of “the neighborhood” page. poppy and frank are making (unfortunately non edible—looking) sweets, and i love poppy’s voice! she’s so cute and soothing! anyways, the video ends with frank saying how they’re all happy and safe in the neighborhood, ending with: “…wouldn’t you agree, wally?”

🏡audio clips!!🏡

a main focus on this update appears to be various recovered audio clips—from frank and julie singing to barnaby and wally having an interview with a tv host about the show—but by clicking on animated crayon drawings around the welcome home website, you can hear these secret audios made by wally, with a heartbeat present in the background of all of these. there are a LOT. here are the ones i’ve found!

the flowers (og)

home/a house (og post)

a star i think? (og post)

a blue flower/daisy (NEW)

this one can be found if you go to the “the neighborhood” page. click on Home, and look at wally’s profile for a while. a flower will appear on his easel! he tells us about how we’re the most (tysm wallyyy) but how we’re unusually still.

ok gonna go to bed after being gaslit by a website WILL UPDATE MORE OF THIS SOON ‼️‼️🏡

🏡 The Welcome Home Update Discovery List!🏡

DISCLAIMER🏡 this edit is a HUGE WIP right now and i edit this post very frequently! VERY. i can find new material very fast, which makes it hard to publish it all fast!

hello neighbors! the new welcome home update just released and i hopped on in immediately—i made a post about it literally 10 minutes ago. since then, i’ve already found MORE and MORE content!! thus, to share this information with the fandom and also help others find how to access some of this information (of which nobody else has really posted about yet AT THE MOMENT I AM TYPING THIS) i’ve decided to create a big update masterlist of everything me and others have found it this update it will be updated regularly and will be pinned on my acc! happy findings! (ps: please boost this if u can i want to solve mysteries with this hellsite!!)

🏡videos!🏡

side note—it appears all the main glitchy videos with the voice actors can be found by clicking on the numerous bugs around the site! SIDE side notes—i don’t use a computer to access welcome home, so maybe there is a way to do this on a computer. on the front page wayyyyy at the bottom near the count of how many people have visited the site, there’s a beetle i cant click on that just SCREAMS “click me!” PLEASE someone click it because it will not be me

the spider — found on the top right of the “stickers” page, this video goes through a conversation between barnaby & julie, with julie saying really bad jokes in attempt to be funny (she’s is but she isn’t at the same time! i love corny jokes so she’s funny in my eyes). also, something i’ve noticed throughout these videos appears to be that wally is in many, if not all of them. he’s just nonverbal and does not speak. at ALL. but he is in them. barnaby actively talks to a person beside from julie, and at the end, julie says a sentence that ends with “… wasn’t it wally?” asking for his opinion. BUT BUT BUT the video cuts and glitches off as soon as she says wally! it’s very similar to how all these videos end!!

the praying mantis — found at the bottom of the “about us” page, clicking on a little preying mantis will lead you to a video of sally and julie rehearsing for a play! idk if it has any deep meaning yet (besides the random deep voice at the end) but it’s so silly!!!! like julie is so silly i love her!!!! (TW minor glitching and weird deep voice at end which is sorta a pattern in the vids)

the fly — found on the page titled “welcome home” and can be accessed by clicking on a fly that appears on screen. this video depicts frank and barnaby’s voices, discussing frank’s flowers in his garden. the video itself shows what appears to be a smashed orange/pumpkin thing in a woodsy area, as (what i think looks like) a face looms in the background (TW sorta loud noises and glitching!

🏡audios!!🏡

both of these audios are of wally speaking directly to the listener, and can be found on the “welcome home” titled page (at least that’s where i found them) by clicking on crayon-drawn flowers shown here:

yellow flower — depicts wally asking the listener “what are you waiting for? to hear from me again? hahaha! that means you can hear me.” , as a heartbeat noise is heard in the background (it’s not as creepy as it sounds i promise)

red and blue flowers — wally saying; “that’s what an eye looks like. my eyes are black. what color are yours?” as a heartbeat noise plays in the background

house scribble — found DIRECTLY on the front page like as soon as you enter the site. wally says; “there you are! welcome home! hahaha” he’s so silly imo

the star — found on the stickers page by clicking the star scribble. this one kinda scared me a LITTLE with what was happening on screen but wally says: “do you like to draw? i do. do you know how to draw an eye? first, you draw a circle. then, you draw a smaller circle inside. then, you color it in.” this one’s really cool go watch it and you’ll see!

🏡other stuff i noticed (WIP)!!🏡

in the “spider” video, julie says to barnaby that her joke will “knock your [barnaby’s] head off!” which is funny, but not the haha way. because there is art made by clown illustrations of barnaby, who’s head is rolled on the floor

like. ITS RIGHT INBETWEEN HIS LEGS ON THE FLOOR. HIS HEAD IS OFF

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, Kanaya Maryam, Dirk Strider

Page 21

DAVE: holy shit thats disgusting

KARKAT: DON’T BE A FUCKING XENOPHOBE

DAVE: im not being a xenophobe

DAVE: dude you know im not a xenophobe

DAVE: i mean thats what this whole election thing is about

DAVE: having your back when it comes to this reproduction issue

DAVE: well

DAVE: that and the economy

DAVE: lets not lose TOTAL sight of the economy in this critical discussion

DAVE: but im almost as passionate about this troll speciesism thing as i am about the economy which you may not have known is my number one issue

DAVE: my wheelhouse you could say

DAVE: but my other wheelhouse is like

DAVE: giving a fuck about your feelings and culture and shit?

DAVE: dude hey

DAVE: karkat

DAVE: yo karkat you listening?

KARKAT: HEY DIPSHIT, SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE.

KARKAT: I’M NOT IGNORING YOU BECAUSE I’M MAD.

DAVE: what

DAVE: that wasnt what i

KARKAT: I KNOW THAT YOU PERISH LIKE A DELICATE LILAC BLOOM IN THE FUCKING DESERT IF NOT SHOWERED WITH MY VERBAL ATTENTION AT ALL TIMES.

KARKAT: BUT I’M KIND OF WITNESSING THE REBIRTH OF MY ENTIRE FUCKING SPECIES RIGHT HERE.

KARKAT: YOU EVER THINK THAT THIS MIGHT BE A MONUMENTAL MOMENT FOR ME?

KARKAT: THAT I MIGHT BE AWESTRUCK AT THE PURE MAJESTY OF THIS SIGHT?

DAVE: yeah but it is totally disgusting right

KARKAT: I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU

KARKAT: WHAT PART OF THIS IS DISGUSTING?

KARKAT: IS IT THE SLOW DEFLATING OF ITS DISTENDED ABDOMEN?

KARKAT: THE SOUND OF DOZENS OF SEGMENTED LEGS CLACKING AGAINST ITS EXOSKELETON?

KARKAT: THE UNFERTILIZED SLURRY BEING SLOWLY SQUEEZED FROM ITS OVIPOSITIONAL SPHINCTER?

KARKAT: IS THAT IT? IS THAT DISGUSTING TO YOU DAVE?

DAVE: kind of

KARKAT: ...

KARKAT: YOU’RE RIGHT

KARKAT: IT’S HORRIBLE

KARKAT: TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST I WOULD HAVE GLADLY GONE THE REST OF MY WRETCHED EXISTENCE WITHOUT EVER SEEING THIS.

DAVE: its like when you squish the toothpaste down in the middle

DAVE: only the tube is filled with fetus juice

KANAYA: Im Sorry But I Can Hear You From Down Here

KANAYA: Did You Want To Talk To Me Or Are You Intent On Performing An Impromptu And Very Unfunny Comedy Act On My Front Step

DAVE: oh hey kanaya

DAVE: whats shaking sis

KANAYA: Must You Always Call Me That

DAVE: nah but it does feel pretty rad to say

DAVE: like wow my sister in law is an alien how cool is that

DAVE: i love our awesome planet where everyone is free to form xenophilic family units without fear of government interference or reprisal

DAVE: which is a totally smooth segue into the topic at hand

KARKAT: THAT WASN’T SMOOTH AT ALL.

KARKAT: IN FACT I DON’T THINK IT WOULD BE POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO RAISE THE SUBJECT WE’VE COME TO TALK ABOUT IN A MORE OSTENTATIOUSLY AWFUL AND AWKWARD WAY.

KARKAT: JUST BECAUSE YOU DID THAT STUPID LITTLE...

KARKAT: ...MOTION WITH YOUR HANDS DOESN’T MAKE IT SMOOTH

DAVE: no see the reason its smooth is because i was the one who did it

DAVE: i got inherent smoothness and its a quality that transfers to everything i say and do

DAVE: also that thing i do with my hands isnt stupid

DAVE: its cool

KARKAT: IT’S THE STUPIDEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN AND YOU DO IT LIKE TEN TIMES A DAY.

KARKAT: WHAT EVEN IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE?

DAVE: im dropping a beat

DAVE: like im using a turntable and scratching one song into another

DAVE: all smooth and shit

KARKAT: IT LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE TRYING TO FOLD LAUNDRY YOU FORGOT TO IRON.

DAVE: dude you have never once in your life ironed a shirt

KARKAT: I AM FAMILIAR WITH THE BASIC MECHANICS OF YOUR EARTH CUSTOMS DAVE.

DAVE: ok ironing is def not earth culture

DAVE: ive seen kanaya iron like

DAVE: a whole bunch of shirts

DAVE: yo kanaya

DAVE: back me up here sis

KANAYA: So This Is About The Election

KARKAT: AH.

KARKAT: YES.

KARKAT: YOU’VE ALREADY HEARD.

KANAYA: I Do Get The Internet Down Here

KANAYA: I Am Impressed That You Managed To Be Seen In Front Of That Many People Without Spontaneously Bursting Into Flames

KARKAT: WOW THANKS, ANOTHER VOTE OF CONFIDENCE FROM ONE OF MY DEAREST FRIENDS.

KARKAT: THIS CONDESCENSION IS REALLY RICH COMING FROM THE PERSON WHO DECIDED HER NARCISSISTIC OBSESSION WITH BEING THE ONE TO HATCH THE MOTHER GRUB WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN NOT SEEDING OUR PLANET WITH A STOPGAP SYSTEM OF REPRODUCTION THAT WOULD CAUSE SYSTEMIC SPECIESISM TO OSSIFY INTO SOCIETY FOR 5000 YEARS.

DAVE: karkat

DAVE: hey

KANAYA: This Again

KARKAT: YES, THIS AGAIN!!!

KARKAT: FUCK!!!

DAVE: (uh)

DAVE: (karkat buddy)

DAVE: (remember the game plan here)

DAVE: (we want to get kanaya on our side not alienate her completely)

KANAYA: Karkat

KANAYA: I Acknowledge That There Have Been Consequences To The Decisions We Made Regarding The Foundation Of This Society That Were Not Foreseen Or Ideal

KANAYA: But I Do Not Think It Is Productive To Attribute These Resultant Troubles To A Single Decision Or Individual

KANAYA: It Stands In The Way Of Our Efforts To Address Them

KARKAT: MMNNNRRRGHHH.........

DAVE: (shhhhhh)

KAYANA: You Know As Well As I Do That We Must Present A United Front

KANAYA: Please Do Not Misinterpret My Tone

KANAYA: I Have Nothing But The Utmost Faith In You

KANAYA: While I Know That It Is Difficult For You To Take A Direct Compliment

KANAYA: I Have In The Past Put My Faith In You When The Threat To Our Survival Has Been Immediate And Literal

KANAYA: Its Basically Nothing To Ask Me To Do It Again Now That The Threat Is Far More

KANAYA: *Existential*

KANAYA: Is How I Think I Shall Put It

KANAYA: If We Are Going To Be Polite

DAVE: youre up on all the issues then

KANAYA: How Could I Not Be When It Concerns Me So Directly

KANAYA: Jane Has Been Here To Speak With Me Recently In Fact

DAVE: no fucking way

KANAYA: She Was Quite Cordial As Always

KANAYA: You Know I Do Like Jane

KANAYA: In Some Regards She Reminds Me Of A Friend We Had Who Sadly Did Not Survive Our Time On The Meteor

KANAYA: She Was Unfailingly Kind To Everyone She Met But She Also Happened To Be The Heiress To The Throne Of A Vast And Bloody Empire

KANAYA: And While She Had A Lot Of Opinions On Reform She Had Already Wrenched Some Of Her Power From Our Last Empress In The Traditional Manner

KANAYA: By Which I Mean That Jane Is Perfectly Pleasant And I Believe That She Has Only The Best Of Intentions

KANAYA: But I Cant Shake The Feeling That Deep Inside Her Lurks The Potential For Despotism

KARKAT: OKAY I GET WHY YOU GUYS KEEP CALLING JANE A CRYPTO-FASCIST

KARKAT: BUT FUCKING FEFERI? SHE WAS HARMLESS.

KANAYA: These Things Take Time To Gestate Karkat

DAVE: damn

KANAYA: Power Corrupts In Small Steps

KANAYA: Compromises

KANAYA: Concessions

KANAYA: Appeasements

KANAYA: And Leaders Follow The Example Set For Them

KANAYA: Look At What Jane Has Modeled Herself After Already

KANAYA: I Do Believe Its Important To Consider Precedent

KANAYA: This Is Why I Trust You Karkat

KANAYA: Because You Listen To Advice From Below And Beside You Not From Above

KANAYA: And If Dave Is With You I Trust You Not To Isolate Yourself As You Have In The Past

DAVE: sweet

DAVE: so weve got your endorsement then

KANAYA: Jane Offered Me “A Seat” On The “Board Of Responsible Troll Reproduction”

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK. HOW DARE SHE!

KANAYA: That Is Exactly What I Said

KANAYA: With More Tact Of Course

KANAYA: I Do Understand The Trepidation Considering What The History Books Teach About Alternia

KARKAT: OH, LIKE HUMAN HISTORY IS A FUCKING WALK IN THE RECREATION SPRAWL.

KARKAT: HOW HYPOCRITICAL CAN SHE BE?

KANAYA: Yes

KANAYA: In Case You Cant Tell I Am Actually Fucking Furious About This

KARKAT: SHE COULDN’T PICK A MORE SUBTLE WORD THAN “RESPONSIBLE”? SHE’S NOT EVEN TRYING TO MASK HER XENOPHOBIA. IT’S LIKE SHE HAS NO FUCKING RESPECT FOR US.

KANAYA: It Is Entirely Thoughtless On Her Part

KANAYA: Our Reproduction Method Is Alien And Unfamiliar

KANAYA: To A Human It Must Sound Monstrous

KANAYA: Uncontrolled Even

KARKAT: WELL OF COURSE

KARKAT: WHEN I HEAR ABOUT HOW HUMAN GRUBS CHEW THEIR WAY OUT OF THE FEMALE MATESPRIT’S ABDOMINAL HOLE BEFORE CONSUMING THE WOMB MEMBRANE IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT.

KARKAT: BUT YOU DON’T SEE ME PROPOSING FUCKING POLITICAL POLICY BASED ON THAT.

DAVE: dude thats not how pregnancy works

KARKAT: UH DAVE, YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE NOTICED, BUT WE’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT HUMANS RIGHT NOW.

KANAYA: Yes Dave Check Your Privilege

DAVE: ok

KARKAT: ANYWAY WE NEED TO EXPOSE HER BULLSHIT IMMEDIATELY.

KARKAT: I DON’T SEE HOW ANY TROLL CAN VOTE FOR HER IF THEY HEAR WHAT SHE’S PLANNING.

KANAYA: I Have A Feeling That It Would Sway Many Non Trolls To Our Campaign As Well

KANAYA: I Hope That There Is At Least One Principle We Share As A Planet

KANAYA: Which Is That We Must All Work To Ensure Equal Dignity And Respect For Every Species

KANAYA: Otherwise

KANAYA: What Was This All For

DAVE: you know

DAVE: that might be the magic ticket folks need to hear to wake up about this issue

DAVE: would you be willing to say that exactly but

DAVE: like in front of a huge crowd

DAVE: and also a television crew or six

KARKAT: OR MAYBE JUST IN FRONT OF JAKE ENGLISH?

KANAYA: Oh Dear Has Jane Recruited Jake

KANAYA: That Would Be Disastrous

KANAYA: He Is Beloved In The Troll Kingdom For His Perky Ass

DAVE: seriously?

KARKAT: I TOLD YOU IT’S NOT JUST ME!

KANAYA: It Has Some Terrible Arcane Power

KANAYA: I Have Never Seen Anything Like It

DAVE: well

DAVE: she doesnt have him yet

DAVE: but jane is one of his best friends so we gotta approach this with a scorched earth policy

DAVE: give him a whole cadre of sob stories thatll make him feel all manly and heroic for lending his support

DAVE: just gift wrapping babies for him to kiss

KARKAT: TROLL BABIES EVEN?

DAVE: sure that can be part of the deal he can kiss the first natural born grub right on its gooey lil head

KARKAT: WHILE GIVING DOUBLE PISTOLS AND A WINK TO THE CAMERA NO DOUBT.

DAVE: bam

DAVE: thats your reelection billboard right there

KARKAT: LET’S NOT GET AHEAD OF OURSELVES HERE.

KANAYA: Of Course Not But This Definitely Has Potential

KANAYA: Have You Spoken To Rose Yet

DAVE: uh no

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: shes

DAVE: whats up with that anyway

DAVE: are you guys uh

DAVE: grub pregnant

KARKAT: DAVE WHAT THE FUCK

KANAYA: No

DAVE: its ok if you are we wont tell

KANAYA: No

KARKAT: DON’T YOU DARE DRAG ME INTO THIS GRAVE YOU’RE DIGGING FOR YOURSELF.

DAVE: cmon karkat dont you wanna be an uncle to a lil bundle of love and unnatural genetic tampering

KANAYA: No

KARKAT: WHAT EVEN GOES ON INSIDE YOUR HEAD THAT YOU JUST PRODUCE THIS ENDLESS, GUSHING SPATE OF ATROCIOUS WORD GARBAGE EVERY DAY?

DAVE: ok stop freaking out im just saying from what i understand of troll reproduction it would be technically possible for a troll and human to

KANAYA: No

DAVE: and with ectobiology anythings possible

KARKAT: OH MY GOD

KANAYA: Whatever Put You On This Unfathomable Train Of Thought

DAVE: i dunno its just unusual for rose to brush me off for our annual ecto sibling oversharing session

DAVE: shes been sick for a while

DAVE: either shes pregnant or i got reasons to be worried

DAVE: id be cool with it yknow

DAVE: bring on the rosemary combo grubs

KANAYA: Rosemary

DAVE: like rose plus your last name which is maryan or something right

KANAYA: Maryam

DAVE: yeah that

DAVE: ergo, rosemary

KANAYA: I Hate It

DAVE: the rosemary babies would have her hair and your horns or whatever

DAVE: like when two cartoon animals of different species give in to their lust and have preposterous children

DAVE: fucking adorbs

KANAYA: Im Going To Call My Wife And You Are Going To Stop Talking

DIRK: Hey,

DIRK: Sorry, but Rose can’t come to the phone right now.

KANAYA: Excuse Me

KANAYA: Dirk

KANAYA: Is That You

KANAYA: Dirk

KANAYA: Why Are You With Rose

KANAYA: What Is Going On

DIRK: Kanaya, I don’t have time to explain right now.

DIRK: John’s doing something vaguely important to the plot again.

KANAYA: Dirk...

KANAYA: What

DIRK: This is gonna have to wait.

KANAYA: Dirk

DIRK: I’m putting you on hold, ok?

KANAYA: DIRK!

[astrologista]

jason stop dying

ooooook i just watched ditf. it was PRETTY GOOD.... i only wish there was MOOORE! watching this REALLY brought me back to 2011 times to see it and i think they did a good job with most of the character design and animations insofar as matching it to the original. (maybe i’m totally wrong but i thought it looked good for the most part... also i just really love these character designs in particular). obviously the budget is not what it would be on a feature, so there are a LOT of places where animation gets recycled and many still frames. some parts are basically a slideshow lol. but i only sort of came to that realization awhile after watching, so i think they did a fairly good job of masking this... ymmv

so let’s get into it!!! 

SPOILERS a-head! do not read until you’ve watched it because i’ll spoil everything

now obviously the thing to be aware of if you are not is the fact that this adaptation is not a panel-by-panel adaptation of the original death in the family comic. all references to jason’s mother (save one mention of her dying of illness) are completely removed, they go to bosnia instead of africa, and the circumstances around jason leaving are also heavily altered to fit the new narrative. this adaptation does slot perfectly into the universe established by the under the red hood animated movie from 2011 though, without which one would be pretty confused when watching this. it’s kind of a mystery as to why they didn’t just package this with utrh and release the entire thing as a collectors edition. instead they package it with like 4 or 5 unrelated dc showcase shorts which makes absolutely 0 sense but go off i guess. anyway

i liked that they took the time to adapt the scene from the original ditf where bruce is talking to alfred about jason! (i do not like that alfred didn’t get any lines. bad choice). tbh i can’t understand why they bothered showing us alfred, barbara and dick if they weren’t gonna give them any lines..... like come on........??

HOW INTENSE BRUCE LOOKS WHEN HE FINDS JASON IN SARAJEVO and just. grabs him lol. hes smad :)

ok so one two skip a few and we get to the first branch. instead of calling 1-900 we now get to choose whether jason lives or dies. there are 7 possible endings i think i got em all so let’s see what we got here.

“Hush” Route - Robin cheats death

hgrgdggr. i definitely think this is one of the more interesting endings, if not the most interesting one. this is also the only ending in which both bruce and jason survive the bombing. bruce is still too late, but this time jason barely clings to life and survives. as a hurt/comfort fan i was 100% on this shit from the word go but then jason? runs away from home lmao lmao i thought that was SO funny because 1) hes super messed up, how is he able to just literally run out the house that is SO funny to me and 2) implying that bruce would ever not be keeping an eye on him after that is just, lmao. it’s so zany. i call this the “hush” route because of the bandages but there are no other references to hush so ok. that’s fair. so anyway jason is now angsty for loosely explained reasons but the most fun part is yet to come.

when talia showed up, i really thought / was terrified for a second that they were gonna bring up certain “events” regarding damian’s parentage / who damian’s father is but then she mentioned bruce and i was like OH THANK GOD WE CAN STILL GO TO HEAVEN. i am so so grateful to the writers for NOT going there. cuz it was damn close ok. im not sure what the implication of this route is in terms of talia, jason and damian being a family unit but i want to believe talia sees jason as a son and damian’s brother (which is how she refers to him, damian’s brother) and not... yknow. i mean. jason raising a baby is kind of like a baby raising a baby...

no actually the reality of this scene is really dfuckin interesting like. they actually go with the “birth of the demon” (forget if it was birth of the demon or bride of the demon. one of those.) explanation for damian and that is something i’ve NEVER seen adapted so whoever wrote this can have a cookie and i kNOW this is something a certain someone will appreciate :)

not only that but the implications? are interesting? so talia’s claim is she miscarried so bruce won’t have to “choose” between damian and jason and idk if she’s supposed to be all on the-up-and-up in this universe but. i’m sitting here like GIRL YOU DON’T GOTTA DO THIS HE HAS A PRIVATE JET HAVEN’T YOU HEARD OF SHARED CUSTODY and BETTER YET HE HAS A MANSION JUST GO ON MAURY AND GET THIS SORTED OUT RIGHT NOWwwww

i’m also LAUGHING at the implications of jason thinking theres anywhere on earth that he’s going to go and hide damian’s existence from bruce. because you already know he’s just going to be tearing the planet apart looking for jason so this is actually hilarious. imagine he finds jason in one piece and also a baby. his baby. he’d be like (@ talia) “OMG WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WOULDN’T WANT THEM BOTH u are tearing me apart talia......” BUT THEN HE WOULD BE SO FREAKING HAPPY BECAUSE HE HAS TWO ALIVE SONS AND HE THOUGHT THEY WERE BOTH DEAD / (lost to crime)!!!

please lord imagine all of jason’s angst probably just originating from the fact that he has a brain injury that hasn’t fully healed and the trauma of going through all those surgeries probably gave him a lot of fear / paranoia about bruce and associating him with the joker because his neural pathways are all messed up but after he leaves he starts slowly healing back and regaining some of his lost sanity and thats when he realizes he misses bruce so much... but hes also raising his child... and every day it gets more difficult for him not to just take damian and bring him home and i ;v;

anyway i thought this route, while it had a few inconsistencies in it, was really freaking interesting and it gave me feels and plot bunnies and is probably the one i want to write about the MOST despite the fact that baby damian looks like a character from one of those web flash games in this lol

“True” End - Jason Dies

now if you select that jason dies the route basically defaults to the canon of under the red hood and the fact that utrh does not come packaged with this movie is a rather mystifying choice to me as i don’t think this adaptation would stand on its own very well. like you need quite a bit of background to really get anything out of watching this on its own, which is probably why it’s classified as a “short” and not as its own movie.

instead of showing all of utrh, it seems they took the opportunity to give a ~30 minute recap of utrh with basically entirely reused animation but they allow bruce to sort of. give his dvd commentary over it.

the biggest feeling i have on this is that it’s sad that they had to waste 30 minutes like this that could’ve been used to do something new and much more interesting, but honestly i’m not mad. it seems kind of obvious that this choice was probably made for budget and/or runtime reasons because a short does not get the same budget set aside as a full length feature film does. so they basically took the option of recycling 30 minutes of animation from the movie and dubbing new audio over it.

in evangelion they ran out of budget and that’s why the last two episodes consist of nothing more than still pencil drawings and frames while the characters engage in philosophical debates concerning the nature of reality and human connection. and i really enjoyed that. and for the same reasons, i also really enjoyed this.

i enjoyed seeing the clark kent of this universe. i enjoyed that he was basically out on a date with bruce. i enjoyed that bruce was willing to open up for once and tell clark all of what happened with jason. but what really makes this segment shine bright are bruce greenwood’s line reads. there are SO MANY good line reads in here. and i LOVED how many times he said the word “son”. very wholesome. the way he describes how he felt during the final fight with jason? probs my favorite FUCKING part.

and then him and clark joking together about contingency plans and then they’re going to work together to find jason and i ;_; this is probably the closest thing to a “good” ending but as a continuation of utrh i thought it worked really well. i really want to believe that bruce and clark did find jason in this route and that there was some closure in the end even though we didn’t get to see it.

including clark in this was DEFINITELY the right move as well, considering that he played a rather large role in the original ditf so it’s a welcome nod.

The rest of the branches exist under a separate option where Bruce makes it in time to save Jason from the warehouse... but Bruce dies......... :O

let me tell you bout it... bruce’s fucking DEATH SCENE i don’t know WHAT my man bruce greenwood is on, but the freaking LINE READS in this dialogue had me making INHUMAN NOISES. LIKE NOT ONLY WAS THE DIALOGUE GOOD, NOT ONLY DID HE SAY “I LOVE YOU, SON”, but this man is just an amazing actor. not just voice actor, but actor. he really really really really gave it the most i don’t know how else to say it....... it was very very well done and punched me sideways in the heart and i haven’t recovered and i’m not going to recover. and

ok so once we get past that.... scene.... u have to choose whether you’re going to catch the joker or kill the joker. bruce asks jason to promise not to kill the joker but technically jason doesn’t promise so........

Let’s start by choosing to kill the Joker. Jason attends Bruce’s funeral and various members of the Justice League show up to talk with him and just generally hang out. He has Alfred, Dick and Barbara as his support system, but Jason has some other plans.

This leads to a scene in a cafe where Jason meets with a man who... something something Killing Joke, flashlight, more Barbara being used as a plot device when she deserves better, Jason kills the Joker with a butter knife.

Once you do this you can choose to surrender to the police, or retaliate and escape.

Jailbird Ending

basically if you surrender to the police jason ends up in prison where he can actually attack even more criminals so.... ya

If you retaliate and escape instead you go to the Red Robin route where Jason becomes a vigilante who kills people much like the Red Hood and you get a further choice in a fight with Two Face where you can control how Harvey’s coin lands. 

Tim Ending!

If you choose the coin to land clean face up, the thing rewards you by having Tim show up and I forgot what happened (wasn’t really paying attention lol) because i was so focused on TIM!

Prolly they felt sorry for him what with Jason stealing what is essentially his outfit (ok I know it was Jason’s first, but Tim made it cool) so they let a little baby tim have an appearance :) he’s very smol

I guess in this ending Jason gets reintegrated with the family somehow and Tim becomes “Bat-kid” which is hilarious to me but you know what it’s cute. CUTE.

The one ending where the coin lands scarred side up

i honestly forget what happens if you choose to have the coin land scarred side up but let me just say this is a FUCKED route to take, not only have you had jason survive and bruce die, you’ve now chosen to kill the joker against bruce’s dying wish, you’ve chosen to attack the police, and at the end of that you really are gonna choose harvey’s coin to be scarred face up???? choosing this made me feel like a DICK because here i am supporting jason’s whole fall to madness and villainy thing the way it wants me to and now he’s gonna die HERE? i hate it here.

interestingly enough he doesn’t actually die in this route. he ends up at home with barbara and dick while dealing with the fact that he killed the joker but the route ends with jason saying “i promise” so i guess this is supposed to be kinda sad. im so confused lol ok

So that is all the options if you choose to kill the joker, I believe. You can also make the choice to just catch him instead of killing him but amazingly enough, those routes are even more FUCKED up. 

If you do this option Jason goes home, mourns Bruce with Dick, Barbara and Alfred, and becomes Red Hood BUT with a twist, he’s entirely on a bloodless operation in line with Bruce’s wishes. OR.... IS HE?

Things then follow the events of UTRH until the scene on the bridge with the van and the guys. Jason finally confronts Joker, who reveals the truth. 

Apparently in this route Jason has actually been killing and decapitating his victims just like in the original movie, but he’s repressed it so as to not even realize to himself that he’s doing it.

that is FUCKED. also. i wanna cry because jason doing all of that stuff but not even realizing it ;------; jason blocking it out, because he wanted to honor bruce’s wishes for him not to kill anyone ;______; but he’s doing it anyway ;_____; he’s actually hearing voices telling him to kill ;____; like it’s a very cheap twist in a sense and also really quite cruel but.... damn, son.

There is a branch here where you can choose to spare or kill the Joker at this point (UNDERTALE???) but from what I can tell it seems to be totally meaningless what choice you pick because you end up at the exact same point either way, I think there’s a small variation in what happens after you make the choice but after that they just coalesce back together into the following two endings. Which seems incredibly cheap to me, I mean making a choice like that should alter Jason’s path completely but, it doesn’t! So... ooook....

Either way Jason ends up on the Wayne building and Talia shows up with a re-animated Bruce from the pit. Here’s another fun blast from the 2011 past with more gratuitous Grant Morrison dreck, remember that shit? Well, they’re gonna jam it down your throat here, too.

The reanimated Bruce is the Zur En Arrh Bruce and he’s already dead so this is all meaningless but basically Jason fights him and you get to choose whether everybody lives or dies.

Zur En Arrh - Everyone Lives!

if you pick this, jason actually gets the re-animated bruce back to the batcave and they lock him up down there because he’s still pit-mad and the prognosis is not great. but i’m not sure what they expected, he is the zur-en-arrh guy so I don’t think he’s getting better. 

Zur En Arrh - Everyone Dies!

pretty much there’s an explosion and all three of them die and that’s it

I think that should be all the possible endings there are.

By the way the different ways in which black mask dies in this was actually a fairly clever running gag lollll. let that mf burn we don’t need no water.

overall there are a couple of things i would have done to SIGNIFICANTLY improve this adaptation beyond some of the obvious ones.

- the fact that all of the branching options are branched exclusively under the “jason lives and bruce dies” branch is a huge wasted opportunity. imo this is the most egregious problem with this, i was really looking for a more balanced tree / explanation of different things. i am probably super biased though being a fic writer and used to fic, we’re the ones making huge ass trees every day lol.

- the fact that there is no “good” ending here is something i kind of expected but given the context of this is lackluster. i sort of get it though because granted, the original ditf ends in an unresolved manner but it’s distinctly unsatisfying here. i secretly wanted an ending where bruce, like, figures out about the different endings and hacks reality to try to find a good ending where jason lives and everything is fine lmao. like a bat mite ending.

- i was disappointed in a sense that the narrative given in here is so basically simplistic? maybe i’ve been spoiled by games like 999 and undertale where shit gets messy and that’s not what this is supposed to be but when i play something with multiple endings in this day and age, at least play with the concept a little bit and connect some of the branches together narratively. use different devices. i was also hoping some of the choices would be a little bit meatier like you could choose to “forgive bruce” or something cool like that lol. but it looks like the majority of choices have to do with who lives or dies. and i felt like they couldve been a bit more creative with that ya know? being able to control harvey’s coin was a GREAT example of having some more fun with this.

- it is a huge missed opportunity not to have a “secret ending” on something like this. like where. the fuck. is my secret ending for completing everything. come on. and in a similar vein there should’ve been at least something in terms of bruce and jason interacting in a “true ending”. even if very brief. the closest thing to an ending this has is the “jason died” route and then the ending where he’s talking to clark which i feel like was a REALLY nice good optimistic ending as far as this goes, but it comes off as kind of disappointing i guess

there were SO many interesting nuggets locked into this thing though. i can’t deny it bugs me how many wasted opportunities there were with how they chose to structure things but i guess it’s the best you can do with limited runtime. i thought it was really well done though, makes an interesting companion piece to the original utrh, and is definitely something that i will be re-watching again soon!! overall i give it a 7/10 and some parts an 8/10+!

[haikyuu-scenarios-box]

Hi. I'm the anon who asked about au's. I'm just shy, so don't take offense my apology! You're great and friendly! I'd like a scenario request though! I've been into vampires since the Halloween season, and wanted to request one. A little late, but I guess any time is a good time, haha. I'd like it to be with Tsukishima being vampire and spending the night at his crushes house, and he ends up feeding on her in her sleep? You can do what you like with this idea! I'm very interested to see it!

A/N: omfggg i went so so overboard with this,, im just so damn weak for vampire!tsukishima. TW: blood obviously. Also, keep in mind that this request involves a character coming into the reader’s bedroom to p much prey on her while she’s asleep. There’s nothing sexual involved, but if you suspect that that type of scene may trigger you, then I suggest you either don’t read this or read at your own discretion. Ok?? ok,..,, you’ve been warned and you’re on your own now. Word count: 1,870 (lmao my bad)

UNDER THE CUT.

____________

His fingers were akin to glass; their delicacy threatened with a shatter as they brushed against the daisies. Traces of pollen were dusted along his palms, petals of ivory stroking the length of his legs. Sparse grass had buried itself into the folds that rested within his clothes, lightly pricking his skin. 

Discarding the vivid memory, Tsukishima recalled that he hadn’t seen the cottage by the meadow in over a century. 

To Tsukishima, those memories resembled scratched segments of dusty videocassettes. He remembered that he had a brother named Akiteru, a seamstress for a mother and a labourer for a father. Their faces, however, were permanently forgotten. It didn’t bother Tsukishima, though - he preferred it over death. If it weren’t for Yamaguchi turning him, he would have died following the pillage. 

Prior to meeting her, Tsukishima never kept track of time since he had all of eternity to live. In the past year, he’d grown attached enough to maintain his relationship with her, but not attached enough to risk getting his head severed from his body. Tsukishima planned to cut her out of his life soon.

‘Look at you all zoned out,’ she teased, ‘I didn’t take you for an art critic.’ 

‘You want a critique?’ Tsukishima sneered, ‘this painting’s really ugly.’

‘It’s not ugly!’ she exclaimed, ‘Ojiisan gave it to me. He bought it from an artist in Nagiso long ago.’ 

‘Well, he had awful taste,’ he knew that that wasn’t his real opinion. What else was he supposed to say, though? That the painting of a cottage by a meadow reminded him of his first home? That he was alive before her grandfather was? 

Of course not.

‘You have a lot of nerve saying that…’ she poked the bridge of Tsukishima’s glasses, ‘… when you’re the one who’s wearing those. Get nicer frames.’

‘I’m sorry I like to see,’ he sarcastically said with a smirk, ‘is this how you treat your guests?’

‘You’re the one who said my painting’s ugly,’ she shrugged, collapsing on the couch. ‘I think ojiisan said he met a vampire when he visited Nagiso.’ 

‘Don’t be stupid,’ Tsukishima sneered, joining her, ‘there’s barely any in Japan.’

‘Yes there is,’ she asserted, ‘they used to live savagely centuries ago, but they’ve integrated into human society.’

Tsukishima was almost taken aback. She was right - creatures of his kind still existed and they integrated well. Too well, to the point where they were widely considered to be an extinct being.

‘Let me guess, your ojiisan told you that,’ Tsukishima masked his surprise with a taunting tone, ‘do vampires also disappear in mirrors and wear black cloaks?’ 

She crossed her arms as she stuck her tongue out childishly, ‘Make fun of me all you want, but he said that he knew what he saw. A young woman in an alleyway,’ she shuddered, her spine graced by a shiver, ‘her fangs buried deeply within a mangled cat, slurping up all its blood.’

‘How scary,’ Tsukishima mocked, pretending as though he hadn’t done such a thing. He was repulsed at the idea of feeding on animals, but centuries ago, there were times where he found himself desperate. All he fed on nowadays were suicide victims beneath a nearby cliff and from blood banks. Yamaguchi did the same.

‘Whatever,’ she stood up, stretching her arms out with a yawn, ‘don’t come crying to me if you ever do come across a vampire.’ 

‘Because in that situation, I’d definitely come to you,’ Tsukishima sarcastically remarked, ‘I’d feel safe with your wooden stake and silver.’

‘You realise I can make you sleep on the couch instead of the guest bedroom, right?’

____________

Every attempt he made to quiet his mind had failed; it descended, further, further and further into an obsession with the possibility that a long blade would soon sever his head. 

Tsukishima was never aware that she possessed any knowledge about his kind. Vampires became less of a reality and more of an old tale. Not many knew that they ate human food, drank human drinks - the only difference was that it was all tasteless and that his nutrition could only be obtained from fresh blood. Put simply, human foods were a useless filler. 

Although she didn’t mention it, Tsukishima believed it was likely that she was aware of that fact. As his pupils fixated themselves to the ceiling, a year was suddenly no longer a fleeting moment to him. A year’s worth of a close relationship with a human was a long time. Especially when the human belongs to the minority that believed that vampires still lived amongst them. 

Yamaguchi had warned him of this, urging him to recall when hiring vampire hunters was common practise, when suspected vampires (and any human who sheltered a vampire) were burned at the stake, begging for any form of mercy. 

Tsukishima began packing away the belongings he brought with him to her home, concluding that her memory of him had to turn into a mirage, just like the faces of his family. As he made his way out the guest bedroom, he realised how he loathed how fond he grew of her. Tsukishima wanted to fully remember the arch of her brows, the lashes that curved away from her waterline, the wit of her tongue, the outline of her lips.

He passed by her bedroom, knowing that he couldn’t rely on his memories. Eventually, the centuries to come would led them to disintegrate into ashes, where they will never arise again - memories bore no similarity to a phoenix.

Turning around, Tsukishima quietly placed his duffle bag on the floor and carefully opened the door. He was unsure as to whether he could remember her once he left - but he was confident that he wouldn’t forget the flavour her blood carried. 

Her body had already been lulled into a deep state of sleep - after all, Tsukishima possessed heightened senses and could hear her slow and rhythmic breathing. 

The emotional attachment Tsukishima held towards her was constantly denied by him, until he envisioned his pillow beside hers. He falsely hoped to share that blanket with her for the nights to come, perhaps even bicker over blanket-stealing the following morning. Maybe she snored sometimes and he could tease her about it. Would they wake up at the same time, or would he wake up first? 

Tsukishima didn’t want those thoughts to exist anymore. He wanted them to burn with intense fury and relief; identical to the burning of suspected vampires centuries ago. 

She was already asleep on her side, her body facing the wall. Kneeling beside the double bed, Tsukishima warily placed a hand on her shoulder. The thumb of his other hand rested along the angle of her jaw, gently pushing her head further away from her neck. For a couple of seconds, Tsukishima merely stared at the skin he was about to pierce. She’ll keep him in mind while the marks scab over and bruise, but after that, she will forget about him; because he’ll be long gone by then. 

The longer his fangs grew, the more reluctant he became to bite into her. This wasn’t going to be the first time that Tsukishima fed on someone alive - there was a time when he was forced to do so. He knew his neck anatomy quite well, he wasn’t an idiot who recklessly bit into people and accidentally killed them.

Tsukishima’s felt the tip of his fangs touch her neck. This situation lacked any similarity to his past feedings on sleeping humans, for it was completely unrelated to survival. Rather, it was a feeble to cure his illness of melancholy; the fever that forced him to breathe the air that, to him, resembled the very salts of the ocean. Every inhale filled his lungs with blue hellfire.

That was what drove him to finally abandon his loyalty to cautiousness.

Tsukishima haphazardly sink his fangs into her neck, memorising the intensity of the iron. He knew that if he were to suddenly pull his head away in that moment, he’d rip her neck wide open. But he had to bite down with that much force. He had to remember her. 

As hot, thick scarlet slid down Tsukishima’s throat, he began to actually consider the consequences. With the mark, she’d easily have the power to report him. Although the probability of anyone believing her was slim, his actions were still creating the possibility of his death. For a mere second, Tsukishima even pictured himself turning her.

Once a low yelp was heard by Tsukishima’s hypersensitive ears, he rid his mind of those disorganised thoughts. He was sure that his absence of self-control had awakened her, yet he began to question whether he really was scared of getting killed. Tsukishima’s lived for centuries. He’d seen it all. 

With that realisation, Tsukishima strengthened his grip and pushed her head even further away from her neck. He noted that as his gulps turned longer and deeper, her whimpers grew louder and her knuckles curled themselves into the sheets.

When he finally pulled away, he watched her reluctantly place her fingers on the wound, smearing the bloody marks in the process. Tsukishima’s lips were still warm, a crimson trail slowly dripping down his chin. 

Tsukishima sat up, retracting his fangs back into his gums. He headed towards the door, wiping away the blood with the back of his hand. He forced the turmoil within his chest to be replaced with apathy, since he already knew the facial expression that will rest upon her face once she turned around - forehead wrinkled, eyebrows knitted, lip corners pulled downwards - sheer terror.

‘You…’ she trailed off, her voice uncertain, ‘… if you wanted to bite me that bad, you could have just asked.’

For the first time since Yamaguchi turned him, Tsukishima was the one stunned by a human. His eyelids drew themselves back slightly, his mouth agape with an intense confusion. Tsukishima didn’t want to look at her - he had no desire for her to see the breach of his facade. 

‘I already knew.’ 

After a long pause, Tsukishima snapped. ‘And you didn’t tell me,’ The apathy within his chest started to dissipate, an immeasurable confusion and fury settling in. ‘Instead, you decided to have a casual conversation with me about my kind.’ 

‘Kei,’ she said, ‘turn around and look me in the eye,’ she’d never used his first name before. He never did, either, although he always wished their relationship would reach a point where he could. 

Tsukishima obliged with her command. ‘You think I’m a fool, do you?’ his skin almost sizzled against his bones, overwhelmed by every form of hurt he’d experienced throughout the centuries. ‘All this time, you acted like you’re oblivious to what I am and spoke to me as though I’m a human.’

Mainly, it was the hurt that was buried within the sense of imminent loss.

‘Well, I’m not a human,’ Tsukishima revealed his fangs once more, clenching his teeth in anger, ‘and that means that I’ll kill you right now.’ 

‘You won’t,’ she said, her smile soft enough to be mistaken for a smirk. She was smug about the fact that her suspicion was true, though - this was Tsukishima’s crush, after all. 

She slowly stepped closer to him until she was able to firmly press her chest against his. Tenderly placing an open palm against Tsukishima’s cheek, the pad of her thumb gently stroked his cheekbone; an attempt to induce tranquillity within him. Once her gentle gesture ceased, she hooked an index finger underneath the fabric of her shirt, pulling it away from her neck to expose the bare skin of her shoulder.

‘Drink.’ 

[veeranger]

ok here are my thoughts on SPV3.2′s rendition of Halo CE’s first level: The Pillar of Autumn, which i played last night. 

please keep in mind these are my subjective opinions based on my single playthrough of the level on normal difficulty, and that i have nothing but respect for the obviously large amount of effort put into this mod by its creators. 

first of all its great that this level skips the camera orientation shit even on normal difficulty, thank god. 

so basically the level plays out exactly the same as it did in the original game with the exception of the weapons behaving differently, until you get to that one staircase room that was a nightmare on legendary in the original game. its clever actually because the enemies are positioned on the same side as you but above so you run up the stairs and turn around to find yourself face to face with....a brute! not an elite but a brute in the halo 2 style. 

with the brute comes their signature brute shot, brute plasma rifle, a new brute plasma pistol, and a new weapon called the shredder, a brute version of the needler that lacks the projectile tracking of its sister weapon but has a much higher projectile speed making it very fun to use and extremely deadly to unshielded foes including the brutes, who all lack energy shields like the halo 2 and halo reach variants, which makes sense. gameplay wise they’re much less of damage sponges than they were in halo 2 however i did notice that theyre markedly less aggressive again compared to their halo 2 iteration. i have yet to see a brute do its signature charge, but im going to chalk this up to engine limitations and not developer oversight, for all i know these brutes are probably just reskinned elites with no shields. brute chieftains are also missing alongside their iconic gravity hammers, though i assume this is engine limitations preventing something like that from existing. 

 now all this said i am sorely missing the spiker as the brute’s signature weapon because way too many of these bastards are carrying brute shots which can make encounters a bit frustrating at times, while paradoxically making other encounters far too easy due to the weapon’s ability to one shot weaker enemies and carry much more ammo than its halo 2/3 counterparts. it also makes vehicle segments suck sometimes because there are 2-4 brutes with these things knocking your warthog around but thats for the next level.

anyway back to the level, it quickly takes a turn into uncharted territory with a major detour that has you going through large storage areas and a lot more hallways before you finally end up back on track in the original level. i dont hate this per say and it certainly spices the familiar levels up but i can’t say i love how long these new areas are. i think i spent at least 30 minutes on this level and most of that was the new areas. now this isnt bad per say and the areas were not explicitly poorly designed, though i wasnt the biggest fan to be honest, its more so that the level becomes a slog after a while with no end in sight. i also think this addition muddles the intended game design of a tight corridor shooter than blossoms out into a massive open sandbox in the second level but that is not relevant really so i will not actually put stock into that opinion. 

after getting through the new stuff you just drop back into the original level and the rest of it plays out basically the same as it would otherwise, new sandbox notwithstanding. if this level and the second level are showing me any kind of pattern, its that i can expect every level to just suddenly branch into new content before eventually falling back on the original level path and playing out like that. more on this in other level reviews i’m sure. 

all said it was not the best level ive ever played and it dragged on too much but i wouldnt say it was all bad. i had fun more or less and i will say the level ran together pretty organically even with the new additions. oh yeah theres a few extremely minor environmental manipulations you can do like turning gravity down in some areas giving you moon physics and turning on auto turrets in some battles. nothing major but still cool. 

i dont think i want to speak on weapons yet because i havent gotten to use everything yet but i dont like this mod’s assault rifle. it added the smg from halo 2/3 (which i also dont like in this mod) so now the ar is the 32 round variant with a severely nerfed rate of fire which doesnt feel very good to me. the smg has way too much kick to fill the roll of the original ce assault rifle so i feel a little lost without a reliable spray and pray gun, but i suppose comparing and contrasting to the original game is a bit pointless considering this mod really wants to be a totally different experience. still i dont like the ar and im not crazy about the smg. 

i will speak on grenades though, there are two new ones, a clusterbomb which is self explanatory and a gravity bomb, which pulls enemies into it and then weakly explodes, killing weaker enemies and usually dropping elite shields. interesting additions to the sandbox but i feel like the clusterbombs make frags redundant.  

this mod has armor abilities now like halo reach, taking the place of your flashlight when equipped. i assume this has to be this way otherwise i would want to berate them for making me kill my flashlight for sprint or VISOR, which is basically just the detective vision mode from odst but in a really displeasing color pallet. now im nitpicking but yknow. the game is still very dark in a lot of places thanks to this mod still using halo ce’s original lighting engine or just respecting the fact that it was like that for a fucking reason unlike anniversary edition, so losing the flashlight is a real pain sometimes. 

oh also this mod changed the HUD, now your shields and health are where the should be, in the top middle of the screen like in every halo game starting with 3.  

anyway i think thats all i have to say about level 1, not a massively successful first impression but it was not bad and i did not hate it. pretty so-so for me. the next level i’ll have more positives to talk about i think

[dumbdancemomssideblog]

S1E1: The Competition Begins

okie dokie first ever episode of dance moms rewatch starts now :0 i actually remember watching this the very first time it aired on lifetime because i was channel surfing and saw a commercial for it earlier that day. that was the summer between 8th and 9th grade. ah memories... i didnt know what to expect because i did dance when i was a kid but not on a competition team and it was mostly ballet so i was pretty unfamiliar with this whole world. 

anyway lets begin. this is probably gonna be a longer post than what i’ll end up writing for the other episodes in season 1 bc the first episode introduces so much info, just a heads up

Act 1: (aside: yes its insufferable to divide this into “acts” when its really just like “segments separated by commercial breaks” but thats how they’re called in actual tv scripts so im just going with that cuz i cant think of a better/easier way uwu)

god this is so fucking early 2010s lmao

i miss these days where they were just talented nobodies from pittsburgh on a low budget reality tv show that nobody even knew would be successful. and the bad hair and makeup but idk if that was also just a 2011 thing lol

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES GREEN SCREEN INTROS IM DYING

the chalkboard !!!! they werent doing the pyramid on the mirror yet 

(apparently abby never did anything similar to the pyramid thing but the producers made her and it became a whole Thing on the show and thats why the moms were like wtf is this bullshit the first week)

mackenzie looks like a toddler. chloe is so tiny. theyre the 2 who changed the most physically over the course of the show

i remember watching this for the first time being used to ballet lyrical and jazz but never having done or really seen acro/gymnastics in dance choreo and being SO flabbergasted. i was thinking “a chin stand is not dancing what the actual hell” and yknow what? i was right

melissa: “my boyfriend knows how much i spend on dance because he signs the checks...............hermehhemrherrmehermh” (the most awkward laugh omg)

maddie is wearing a fucking bumpit in her hair i cannot

melissa deadass just said out loud “im here for my daughter im not here to make friends” ok everybody mark that one off on your catty women’s reality tv show bingo card!

camera man accidentally getting in the shot filming right in front of the huge wall-mirror.... what is this, amateur hour? i’ll let it slide since its the first day of filming rehearsal but step it up, boys

aw i forgot about maddie getting sick and crying :/ poor kid

melissa saying “i cant stand a chid that’s sick” sounds so edited like the intonation made it seem to me like they just cut her off mid-sentence i love lifetime

oh this was still when they were wearing normal stuff to class/rehearsal like black leotards bc they werent getting sent a trillion crazy 2-piece dancewear outfits for free yet bc they werent famous, man those were the days

Act 2:

[obligatory b-roll footage of downtown pittsburgh] 

the maddie chloe paige trio !!!! this is making me feel so nostalgic

“knees together, paige. you’re bow-legged, you need to fix that”

“you’re tall, you’re skinny, you’re a beautiful girl, you can do better than this. FOCUS” shes like 10 abby what the hell

“people think im tough and i guess i am but i would rather be the one to make your kid cry in the privacy of my studio than at an open-call audition in front of hundreds of people”

okay unpopular opinion alert: i agree with a lot of what abby says about stuff like this but her delivery is flawed, to but it euphemistically, that being said i think the production team of the show and the fame inflating her ego changed all of this somewhere over the course of the second season and its really sad to see :/ i can expand on that thought later tho

aw paige crying bc abby correcting her (but not saying anything personal or out of line, just technique corrections (at based on what we were shown, we dont know everything she said oop)) shes a sensitive kid she never should have been put on this show :( 

paige looks exactly like her mom i didnt realize that before

nia and holly were done so dirty throughout the whole series in terms of the narrative the producers set up about nia being the weakest link :/ 

Act 3:

cathy’s entire involvement in the show from the very beginning was so painfully obviously scripted (or at least heavily staged) 

vivi was also done dirty by the show’s narrative and she was only 6 and they presented her as like the butt of the joke bc her mom’s “character” was crazy and also she wasnt good at dance. i wonder how she feels about the show now that shes a teenager hmm. she really seemed not to give a fuck about dance for better or for worse when she was a kid tho so maybe she doesnt care ?

in what universe would an owner of another competitive dance studio bring her own kid to another studio more than an hour’s drive away, AND be under the impression that she could compete with them in a week, especially when they showed the kids’ and moms’ shocked reaction at the start of the episode to having to learn a dance in a week and compete it? like really what is the point of cathy and vivi being a part of this show im so ????

Act 4: 

THE MINISTER DAWN OUTBURST HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT THIS

this fight is about 50% of what got them a full season 1 and then things took off from there tbh. the other 50% was the electricity dance but thats a point for next episode..... :)

“you’re a minister act like one” “YOU’RE RIGHT I AM A MINISTER! LET’S PLAY THE BIBLE GAME ABBY, WHEN JESUS SAW THINGS THAT WERE WRONG HE WENT AFTER THEM, AND YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DO THIS TO MY KID” ma’am i think the wrongs jesus addressed were of slightly more importance than a preteen being told she cant take a dance class if shes violating the studio’s dress code

this is so good bc it wasnt staged afaik and there are regular students all throughout the building just STARING at them like lmao what even is going on, so im pretty sure this is real???

regardless, yeah dont wear socks and a tshirt to an acrobatics class, thats common fucking sense

another cameraman-in-mirror sighting, but its hard to think about angles when filming spontaneous drama like this, so i wont count it against them

“you called me fat” (i remember that being in the episode but thats not on the episode available through lifetime on demand that im watching from my moms tv hmmmmmm) “i told you to close and tuck in your two-piece costume, theres a big difference. HOW CAN YOU REMEMBER THAT BUT YOU CAN’T REMEMBER TO TURN YOUR FEET OUT” uh scream

she really called the police on this woman i cannot handle this. can you imagine being a police officer responding to this call? 

“we have a parent thats out of control. pardon? no shes doesnt have weapons, just her mouth” iconic

im sorry im still not over the hair and makeup. the flat hair with the side bangs. the black pencil eyeliner applied all the way around the eye. why did any of us think this was a look :( why did we do this :(

Act 5:

they went all the way to phoenix to compete 3 numbers, only 2 of which are shown in the episode.

i think this is the only time they ever went to west coast dance explosion because its an actual competition and they wouldnt allow filming after this lol i think they did go to wcde one weekend in addition to a competition where they were filming but it wasnt shown or mentioned at all

abby not wanting brooke and paige to have a french manicure on stage if theyre the only ones in the group with the french tips is perfectly valid idk why it was framed as some crazy micromanaging shit

i also am really not a fan of the whole “high functioning alcoholic wine mom/crazy stage mom” schtick they were pushing for the first few episodes of this show

in retrospect i feel like so many of the quips in this episode were intentionally fucking crazy just to get the audience engaged enough to want to watch more episodes...

“see those girls down there, those girls with the legs? thats who you’re up against, so step it up”

abby warning them that its dangerous for their little party hats to slip when they’re doing aerials and pirouettes and stuff: “what if you were at radio city music hall and they had the ice rink out and you were doing a side aerial and fell 13 stories down and died, huh?” fantastic point abby thank you for saying that to 5 girls ages 8-12 less than 5 minutes before they went on stage. perfect time for a teaching moment like that :)

i forgot how bad the camera work was in the first few episodes for footage of their performances. like they really didnt think the show’s audience would actually want to watch the kids dance, the producers and editors thought we just wanted to see stage mothers yelling at each other lol

also the mic feed over the music of abby talking to herself giving them corrections while watching them dance on stage.... im so glad they quit doing that. i dont remember them doing it like that for any other episode, i hope im right

this choreo is very basic and its a cute dance i guess but its very cringe in some places and for the first episode this is such a forgettable group routine

their scandalized reaction to placing third and the sad piano music is so funny honestly

and maddies reaction in the interview which was almost definitely fed to her by the producers where shes like “i win all the time i dont really know what its like to LOSE i always win or get runner up” so many of maddies lines from season 1 interviews sound so fake and she was probably too naive to know they were getting her to say that stuff so they could paint her as a conceited brat (she was EIGHT)

the trio costume was so ugly im sorry (is it supposed to be like a 50s pinup bathing suit?) (and the headband thing looks so bad) and also the music is bad but they had no real authority over that bc of copyright stuff

chloe’s headpiece coming forward and the ensuing drama was another moment in the episode that really solidified public interest in the show imho.... 

“YOU’RE IN THE BAR HAVING A DRINK AND YOUR KID’S HEADPIECE IS FALLING OFF” “it did not FALL OFF it CAME FORWARD it was FINE!!!”

“mistakes happen, we’re human.” “YOU are. mistakes like that dont happen to me”

and then the “next time on dance moms” with the WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE electricity dance, of course. genuinely that was really smart of the producers in terms of structuring things to generate intrigue lol. and obviously it ended up working....

[missjackil]

My 14x20 Season Finale Opinion

Moriah

This was absolutely AMAZING!! It ranks in there with the Season 4 and 5 finales with me! Definitely one of the best!! I came away from 14x19 saying “ooooh my boys done fucked the fuck up!” and came away from this with “OMG MY BOYS REAAAALLLYYY FUCKED THE FUCK UP!!!!”  So without further ado, let's get to it.

Absolutely nothing I predicted to happen happened. Even with clues given from trailers, sneak peeks and spoiler shots, which is fantastic, because that means they can still surprise me, have not gotten too predictable, and the writing is STILL top notch!

I was completely and pleasantly thrown by the segment where no one could lie. This is the first finale that had a good strong dose of comedy, where it would seem to not fit but was so well done it was great! It was reminiscent of Lebanon which started off very light and humorous and quickly changed to deeply dramatic. Since the beginning, one of my favorite things about this show is its ability to take me through so many different emotions in just one episode.

We start off with a very angry Jack. Sam Dean and Cas looking on in terror as he emerges from the smoke. Sam, though a little terrified, actually shows a little relief that Jack made his way out. .Now Dean and Cas have at it, because Dean wants Jack dead and Cas does not. Which solidifies that this, season 14, is the first season in 10 years that had absolutely 0 Destiel moments (Thank you Dabb!!) not a welcome back hug, no “sex eyes” no stupid mixx tape... nada zip nothing :)  so while so many of you have bitched since Dabb took over in S12, that he's breaking down the brothers’ co-dependency and is a Destiel stan, he has proven both accusations wrong by a long shot. 

Now let's move on to the story.  Jack walks through town and hears everyone lying to each other. One of the first things we know he has learned is that lying is bad. He’s expressed this a few times that he is uncomfortable with it, now even without a soul, he doesn’t like it, so he orders everyone to stop lying, simply by shouting it. I knew this was going to be fun. 

Sam and Dean go to a facial recognition company to try to find Jack. Right away I notice that the sign says ��Mirror Universe” and they hold the shot for a moment, making me wonder if this is something I might want to remember later. Not unlike in Lebanon when the boys walked up to the pawn shop and their reflections appeared over the sign “Precious Pawn”. Are these things a hint to something, like in 7x02 when Sam and Hallucifer/Dean got to the office building that was named “Morning Star Inc” (Lucifer is Latin for Morning Star)? Could just be a coincidence but Im going to put that on my “hmmmm” shelf. 

Right away Dean comments about the nerds and Sam says “Takes one to know one” and we know they can’t lie either. We learn Dean is not only a geek also, but watches Jeopardy every night, and Sam’s favorite singer is Selene Dion! This tickles me because I love learning new things about Sam, and my little wincest heart sighs at the thought of My Heart Will Go On, Because You Loved Me, and It’s All Coming Back to Me Now are songs maybe he thinks about Dean to?

On that note, I must include that my good friend @supernaturalnardog pointed out that in the early years, being made to tell the truth, led the brothers to say biting, resentful things about each other, and now it was just silly brother teasing. How much closer and trusting they have grown since those days 😍 

Meanwhile, we have Cas doing something that made no sense to me. After bitching at Sam and Dean about trying to contain Jack in the Malak box, he is now trying to get into Hell so he can see if he can put Jack in the cage?? Ummm sure yeah Cas, that's a much better choice.  Jack goes to find Kelly’s parents, and sadly, they don't like him anymore. They looked him up and no one heard of him, and Kelly’s peers believe she is dead. Grandmom believes Jack killed her. She screams at him and all we see are glowy eyes and STOP!! Ugggh did he just Mary Winchester another grandmom?? Back at the ranch, Chuck shows up agrees with Cas that Jack is a problem and they go meet up with Sam and Dean. Dean is automatically pissed and breaks Chuck’s guitar, the office is crazy with people telling the truth, so Chuck zaps them all back to the bunker to talk. Emotions rise from there...

Cas splits to go find Jack, Chuck talks to the boys makes them a gun that can kill anything, but the catch is, that whatever the gun does to someone else, it also does to the shooter. Dean takes the gun. 

After some monologuing between Cas and Jack, we go back to Dean in his room, filling a flask. Sam is looking for him, so Dean invites him in and asks him to have a seat. Here comes “the talk” that Sam must be all too familiar with now. Dean informs Sam that he’s going to kill Jack, and consequently kill himself as well. Looking for Sam’s approval, blessing, acceptance, or whatever, Sam isn’t having it this time. He admits he’s still angry with Jack and part of him still wants him dead too, but

 “Dean, we never even tried to save him!”  “He killed mom!” “He has no soul!” “And who’s fault is that?” I actually thought Dean was blaming Sam for a second, until Sam took the blame himself and Dean’s expression clearly showed that wasn’t what he was trying to say, he was trying to say it’s Jack’s fault he has no soul. 

Sam says it’s his own fault because he brought him back, and Jack burned his soul off saving both of their lives. So Sam tells Dean if he thinks hes going to give him permission to go kill Jack and himself, so he can lose them both all at once, then no... just no.... he’s lost too much already. Sam peaces out.

Sam meets up with Chuck and the meta here made me a little dizzy to be honest. Chuck reveals that Sam and Dean are his guys, of all the Sams and Deans in all the universes, they’re his favorite. They’re SO interesting. And now Sam manages to make me feel guilty about watching them over and over and even writing fic. I empathize with Chuck a little bit here because he “writes” them this way because they're his favorites. They’re the most amazing heroes ever, they save the world but to BE those heroes, they need to go through tragedy. Show of hands here how many of you Sam girl’s write or enjoy fics with hurt!sam? Or Dean girls who write/enjoy hurt!dean? Wouldnt it suck if the boys in your stories started yelling at you to stop it?? What a dark and crazy thought! And I empathized with Sam too, because of how much I love episodes like Red Meat because Sam is badass... but now hes kinda saying, “why did I have to suffer like that to show you Im a badass??” ya feel me fam?? 

Anyway. Sam gets very angry and then Chuck tells him Dean already left. Dean is at the cemetery about to shoot Jack with the special gun, and Sam doesn't want this, Jack is on his knees, telling Dean he understands and its ok. It flashed me back to the end of S10. Dean cant do it and drops the gun. Chuck is like “nooo pick it up this is the big Abraham sacrificing his only son on Moriah and Dean’s like “nope” and he doesn't even care if Chuck brings mom back in the trade. He’s done, Chuck can fekk off... Chuck’s like fine snaps his fingers and the lights all go out and Jack dies, Dean goes after Chuck and Chuck flings him hard. Sam is completely done, gets the gun and is like fekk all “Chuck dies, I die, Dean dies, the whole freakin universe dies... GAME OVER!” But (un)luckily Sam misfired. And dont @ me Sam and Dean both are crack shots, but they also miss pretty often. And Chuck, from what Ive seen between the show and the fandom said “If all you can do is bitch about the show? Welcome to The End” 

Now we are being shown all Sam and Deans hard work being undone. From the Lady in White in  1x01 to John Wayne Gayce’s ghost in Lebanon. All the demons rising and the graves spitting out their dead and ganging up on 2 pretty helpless Winchesters and a pretty useless angel. My boys done fUcKeD tHe FuCk UP!!!! Jack is in The Empty, he’s awake with The Entity and Billie... I cant even imagine where this is going. 

 Im fairly sure this storyline won't come to a close in a few episodes in the beginning of next season. Since its the final season (side eyes the haters who made sure of it by bitching and not just changing the damn channel like civilized humans would) it will probably be a season-long arc and have reconciliation between the boys and Chuck by the end. If we have learned anything from the past 14 years of this show, its that good intentions don't always turn out good, with love we can forgive some pretty bad shit, and unfortunately, we tend to hurt the ones we love most. 

Overall I think this was one of the best finales we’ve seen. I plan to write about and meta the crap out of what's gone on this whole season, because I think the season itself, aside from a few crapisodes, (which every season has) was by far one of the best!

So on a scale of Bloodlines to Lebanon, Im giving this a 9. Well done everyone... well done!!

[hiraethstill]

THIS WEEK ON DAIYA NO ACE (8/6)

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!

LIVEBLOG:

YEETS IVE BEEN W AITING FOR INTRASQUAD GAME

yess mimura and kawashima get a moment to shine

LMAO i love asou

also his hair is super cool

hell YEAH there are some great first years

omg the second and third years look like a mafia/gang

MY BABIES ASADA AND KUKI

lmao mogami really out here

natsukawa i love you

TAKU WHATS WITH YOUR CHEEKY GRIN LMAO

ah nvm thats why heh

its kinda strange to see taku wearing the white cap

CHILD I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

kuki starting!!!!!!!!!!!

and asada wishing his bf good luck

LMAO kuki why you gotta be all dramatic with your "okumura koushuu"

A WHOLEASS S O N

skldjg why'd yall have to prolong the shot of yui holding a hand in front of masashi like he's holding him back

ooh kagami another son

asahi... will have to remember that name

A

AS

ASADA CALLING KUKI KUKI-KUN IM NO T OK A Y

IM NOT o K         A            Y

aww asada bby youll gain confidence too!

what a lovely shot

eijun!

eijun's hair flying behind him is really pleasing

aww eijun wanting to be a good senpai to asada but also being considerate

harucchi working so hard im so proud of him

but also eat!!!

good job kanemaru taking care of people

(toujou in tow)

always trying to accomplish something... big mood

look at him... trying to smile...

i want to hug him

kanemaru go hug him for me!

HE'S SO?????????? PRETTY?????????

TOUJOU TOO I SWEAR

LISTEN

TOO MANY KUKI SHOTS TO SCREENSHOT BUT JUST KNOW HE'S BEING PRETTY AND WORKING HARD

why did ochiai look so different

takatsu!!!!

YES I KNOW ASADA YOU'RE CHEERING FOR YOUR BF YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB

kanemaru talking like he knows takatsu i demand interaction stat

HELL YEAH TALK ABOUT MY BOI TAKATSU LIKE THAT

takatsu's voice is partly right behind my nose its strange but i guess not bad?

I CHOKED ON MY FOOD WHEN TOUJOU CALLED HIM YOUHEI

HOW DID YOU FORGET SUN

damn right seidou is crazy but not in the way that you think kuki

asada get over here i will Hug You Fiercely

lmao koushuu lowkey throwing shade but not really

CLAP KOUSADA CLAP BATTERY CLAP

HAHAHAHA HOW MANY TIMES DID MOGAMI'S VA HAVE TO SAY THAT TO DO IT CORRECTLY

KUKI WITH THAT C ONFIDENCE

he would make a good captain hMMST

TAKU CONFIDENCE TOO

ASADA CHEERING KUKI ON HAS WATERED MY CROPS, CLEARED MY SKIN, FED MY CHILDREN--

ANOTHER GRATUITOUS KUKI SHOT

KARIBAAAAAAA

omg if kuki reminds kariba of sawamura then is this ace foreshadowing

i can still dream about kuki asada double ace right

SCREAMS ENDLESSLY INTO THE VOID

LOOK AT THEM

LOOK AT T H E M S T

aw kuki cares about toujou so much

WAAAAAAAAH ASADA'S LITTLE "YATTA"

omg kuki bleps too? 

like mochi like mukai lmaoo

LOVE THEM

okay yui your gay is showing hlskjdfs

masashi put yo aura away

good job kawashima!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pats kariba gently

my heart is breaking for all these third years

esp nabe...

CRIES HARDER

THEY STILL WANT TO HELP OUT

STOP THIS PAIN I TELL YOU STOP IT

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

TAKATSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

HOW DARE YOU PLAY WITH MY HEART LIKE THIS

representing them............. im not o kay.............

HLSKDGH THE LITTLE EMPHASIS MARK WHEN HE CALLS ASADA

KOUSHUU ITO TAKU GANBARREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ASADA TOO OF COURSE

WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE ONE (1) SETO TAKUMA

AAAAAAA KUKI ENCOURAGING ASADA IN TURN I LOVE SUPPORTIVE BOYFRIENDS

oh god oh god have i also mentioned how GORGEOUS taku's voice is i cANNOT

asada bby i dont think youd have ever been ready for this game 

YAAAAAAAAAARGH KOUSHUU BEING ENCOURAGING

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH DEAD-LAST-AT-THE-DINNER-TABLE SQUAAAAAAAAD

WAAAAAAAAAAAAH ASADA REFLECTING ON KOUSHUU STANDING UP FOR HIM

I ALSO SUPPORT KOUSADA HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I SHOULD SAY IT AGAIN

"maybe he thought of me as a friend" ASADA FUCKING HIROFUMI WE LOVE THE HELL OUT OF YOU

SOMEONE HOLD ME

YOU SHOULD HEAR THE DYING WHALE NOISES IM MAKING

OH GOD

OH GOD

IM

IM DEAD GONE GOODBYE

okay sun we getting a lil cap happy here

eijun you doofus come out from behind there

LMAO "IS HE SCARED" KOUSHUU IS HIS FRIEND EIJUN

HYAHA ZONO AND MOCHI READ MY MIND

i fucking love love love how taku and koushuu shared that one brain cell right there

LSKDJFLGSHKG "he throws faster than me"

TAKU ENCOURAGING ASADA AAAAAAAA

at this point i should just make it an OT4 - koutakuasakuki

hell yeah pretty koushuu shot

hello have i introduced you to my SON

WAIT WAIT WAIT

REWIND

TAKU DAS GAY

ALSO HEIGHT DIFFERENCE

literally this looks like he's about to go in for the kiss

i meant the kill but same difference

WHY ARE YOU SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUTE

hsljkdfghjslkfdj IVE BEEN WAITING

FOR THE "taku, what was that."

AND TAKU'S VOICE ALL CHEEKY LIKE "NOTHING" MAKES IT EVEN BETTER theyre SO CUTE

im gonna watch this segment again

screams softly in koutaku rights

koushuu's so used to him like that lmaoo

he just gives him a reminder and moves on

ALSO EVERY TIME KOUSHUU AND TAKU CALL EACH OTHER TAKU AND KOUSHUU MY HEART JUST DOKI DOKIS SO DAMN HARD

what was that twitter post i saw today? the cliche meme with "oh my god the grumpy one is secretly in love with the sunshine one"

also obligatory pretty koushuu shot

asada is so confused poor bby

TAKU SHARING KOUSHUU'S BRAIN CELL I CANN O T

TALK ABOUT A DYNAMIC DUO

THEY ALREADY THINKING ABOUT WINNING

THE S OUN D ASADA MADE IM MCFUCKING DYING

LMFAOOOOO

couldnt get a screenshot but taku looking at koushuu like that makes me melt

even better koushuu pretending not to notice

audience members who asked you

this screams found family

eijun cheering asada on....... still behind that pole

what a goober

HYAHA MOCHI READING MY MIND AGAIN

LMAO "asada's an innocent guy" too true but also gdi eijun

ooh we stan asada being perceptive about koushuu

yessss asada you go kick ass

HYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA "IM ALREADY DEAD"

HOLD UP IM LAUGHING TOO HARD AHAHAHA

taku i see you you lil goober hiding all blurry in the corner while koushuu calms asada down

koushuu havent you heard? tapping your glove against people's chests is gay

asada being formal @ koushuu lmaoo

and koushuu telling him not to straight up lmaoooo

TAKU WE GET IT YOU LOVE KOUSHUU

good JOB asada pitching from the stretch

no remarkable features??? no asada you are unique and wonderful and i love you

ooh the nice sound - that's koushuu's soft touch catching right

his cheeky grin and WHAT FOR

mochi's voice sighs happily

might as well give yall a cute eijun while im at it

OH YEAH

HELL YEAH PLAYING INFIELD IN AND GETTING AGGRESSIVE

oh hello that is an intense face you're making good sir

WHAT THATS IT SERIOUSLY?

GIVE ME MORE FIRSTIES

preview

taku!!

hahaha when you put kuki's face then asada's expression like that one after another

also them talking here

who's on fire?

cries softly of course you'll meet expectations asada

SUMMARY:

minor 3rd yr appreciation!

kuki's mindset STRONK

hug toujou RIGHT NOW

kane, toujou, kuki squad!

DEAD LAST AT THE DINNER TABLE SQUAD

my heart breaks for 3rd yrs who cant play

eijun a goober

koutakuasakuki JUST SAYIN

koutaku one smart brain cell

See you next week!!!

[tellywoodtrash]

kwk lb: aamir khan

every time karan calls this dumbass show of his NATIONALLLLLLLLL TELEVISION, i lose 3 years off my life.

uhhhhhhhhhh karan, you're not a millenial either.

god i cringe every time he tries to appropriate 'millenial culture'. ffs, you're like a decade outside the range.

also fomo is not a disorder, gtfo.

aditya chopra sounds like he's living my his best life.

what do these confessions of his have to do with the damn guest?????

lol thugs as a diwali release. aamir and srk switched their festivals this year.

gotta say aamir looks good. pretentious af, but good.

LMAO SACHAAI SEEDHE BAAHAR KI BRO IM JUST HERE FOR PR.

ugh karan hyping thugs ainvayi mein.

yeah you should be nervous about this movie, aamir. it looks like a spectacular trashfire. oh it'll make money, hundreds and hundreds of crores, but looks like a steaming hot heap of absolute trash.

can't believe aamir and srk have stooped to these kinda garbage movies now.

lmao karan not buying that aamir didn’t do dangal just coz he was “appeasing a certain sensibility”.

so basically a straight ripoff of jack sparrow. like, in every single way.

ugh karan stop kissing ass with the “progressive” shit.

yeah the home situation with reena/kiran is nothing new or interesting, pls move on.

ofc his kids want to be in the movies. do any of their kids not?

damn he sounds like a harsh critic. poor junaid.

UGH I DON'T GIVE ONE SINGLE FUCK ABOUT WHAT THESE TWO MEN HAVE TO SAY ABOUT #METOO.

“it's sad that women have had to come out and speak about it to have created this environment.”

YEAH. IT IS. AND WHAT DID YOU DO ABOUT IT, ASSHOLES? you knew this shit was happening. you always knew. and you did shit. and now for you to sit here and talk about it and gain cool progressive ally points, literally fuck outta here.

forget that song, dil as a movie itself is a misogynist fucking nightmare. he almost rapes her, and then at the last minute doesn't, AND SHE FALLS IN LOVE WITH HIM. FOR NOT RAPING HER. LIKE....................

uh huh “SHOCKED” i’m sure.

that it came out. not that it happened.

omfg this conversation is everything i hate about this topic. WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYONE PREY ON YOU? YOU'RE AT THE FUCKING TOP OF TOTEM POLE. HOW THE HELL CAN YOU THINK, AFTER HEARING ACCOUNTS ABOUT SOMEONE, THAT OH HE DIDN'T BEHAVE THAT WAY WITH ME, SO HE ISN'T A PREDATOR? it's like saying oh charles manson didn't murder ME, so he's not a murderer. chutiyaaaa hai kya?

aaaaaaaaaaaaand he's walking away with the credit for “taking action”. amaze. 

and karan and his fucking tone-deafness. jfc what kinda delusion. what it must be like to live life as a privileged man with immense power.

please you fuckers are sleeping well at night no matter what. give me a break.

i'm feeling veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy stabbyyyyyy right now after this fuckall performative garbage of a “segment”.

great sycophantry (that’s a word right?) towards bachchan now. ugh.

yeah bachchan does seem to have that sanki uncle persona, where if he calls, you’re like shit i’ve fucked up. esp. with his saltyass tweets on how no one will return his bday sms's/tweets or some shit. like get over it, grandpa.

ok aamir's pre-release “disorder” sounds like a right fucking nightmare.

blah blah blah is there any juicy goss this ep (that hasn't already been outed in the promos/previews) or should i stop watching already?

karan, if someone is playing THAT hard to get, then you should take the hint that they DON'T WANT to come. 

strong fraternity feeling uh huh. not at all a PR photo op.

yeah of course you and your mid-life crisis don't see any difference between you+srk/ranveer+ranbir

HOW MANY TIMES WILL YOU PLUG THE DAMN MOVIE KARAN. WE FUCKING GET IT. THUGS IS RELEASING THIS WEEK. LORD.

ugh this phone game sounds dumb af. it's like the phone a friend in kbc, except utterly pointless.

sorry too much second-hand embarrassment at the prospect of this only. fwding.

koffee shots - aka we couldn't find anyone to come with you in this episode coz no one likes you/tumhara ego kuch zyaada hi bada hai, toh karan has to play the game with you. it’s this show’s version of taking a cousin to prom.

why did they pair katrina with varun next week tho? so random. she could have come in this ep with aamir?

what are these shots of though? like what are they drinking?

lmao aamir laughing at karan's sex injury.

exactly who’s surprised that aamir’s cheated?

sexy intern??????????????? jfc karan.

y’all are grownass men, why the fuck are you still getting hickeys in places ppl can see them jfc.

yeah no one needed to know the shower bs.

of course karan regifts. we already knew from the last ep.

oh ho, malaika's dropped the khan finally.

and karan's indicating she's gonna switch it up for a kapoor. hmmmmmmm.

gotta say she looks amazing. lord may my mallu genes be as potent as hers and lead me to age this well.

aamir rating himself

he seems like a bit of a troll himself, which is why he doesn’t take them seriously. 

ew he smokes a pipe, how pretentious.

i am karannnn: “that was witty?????”

food/sex? “apne ko toh dono chahiye.”

don’t we all, but that was not the question.

god bachchan forced him to join twitter. sach mein he’s one unbearable sanki buddha. 

ugh these answers are so laaaaaaaaame.

HE'S NOT PICKINGGGGGGGG ANYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG HE'S SO ANNOYINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG WITH HIS AINVAYI KA DIPLOMACY

welll done my asssssss. aise hi channe ki jhaad pe chadha rahi hai.

of course karan's an insta-stalker. why's this surprising to anyone?

“i love being followed.” godddddd.

lmao i suspect aamir's laughing coz he knows karan can never give up gossip. ever.

lol shopping ki bhi beizzattti.

awkwardness with katrina impending after that answer.

LMAO LIKE KARAN JOHAR'S EVER BEEN ON THE MUMBAI LOCAL.

real best friend: aditya chopra. hmmmm.  

but does it even count when you're cousins????

sexiest actor: john abraham

lolololol who even cares about HIM anymore???

how can the feeling that someone NEEDS you be... good?

(that too coming from the man who wrote ��main kissi ki zaroorat nahi, kwahish banna chahti hoon.”)

WHAT THE FUCK HE PICKED KAREENA OVER TWINKLE

lol he’s prolly changing it to kareena coz she’s in takht and he has to kiss ass to get it done.

idk i feel shakun batra's the most promising outta the three? makes appropriately commercial movies, but pleasantly subversive ones. also gets good performances outta his actors. i think the choice was pretty clear.

FUCKING PICKKKKKKKKKKKKK ONE OF THEM, KARAN YOU ASSHOLE. THIS IS BULLLLLLLLLSHITTTTTTTTT.

LOL AAMIR'S GLEE AT HIS INABILITY TO PICK. 

pft ainvayi mein de diya isko hamper, ofc karan wouldn't take it on his own show. also that bhai answer was lame as fuck.

lmao karan is being salty.

ouff abhi bhi 10 min baaki hai quiz waali bakchodi ke liye.

“i'm not known for my speed.” ... good for kiran, i guess. snort.

“i'm not known for my information.” oh pls karan.

LAY OFF ALIA YOU PERV SHE'S WAY TOO YOUNG FOR YOU UGH THERE'S MANY OTHER AGE APPROPRIATE ACTRESSES

pffffffft the dumbass pet peeves list. hattt yahaan se, hypocrite.

how are some of these answers “correct”???? like, asking him his preferences? how is there a “correct” answer to those? 

snort aamir trying to psych karan out.

lolllllllllllll aamir's confusion at the concept/existence of a mochaccino.

why do these grownass men not know their warm colours?

THREE THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH YOUR HAND PE THARAK KI TARAF KYUN JAATA HAI TUM LOGON KA DIMAAG

HOLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII SONGS COME THE FUCKKKKKKK ONNNNNNNNN OMG YOU’RE A BLIGHT ON THE NAME OF BOLLYWOOD

wow he picked resul pookutty over bhanu athaiya? surprising.

khud ke show par hi prize le gaya. pft.

some more thugs plugging, blearghhhhhhhhh.

next week looks more fun. lol @ varun and his always wanting to pee. he did that during the FC interview with anupama chopra/anushka too.

lmao sab ko shaadi kab ho rahi hai question. i love varun.

[anotherfandomok]

Interactive Introverts Richmond Summary! (Part 1 bc rambling)

Ok. My experience and a general summary. I'm gonna do my best I couldn't believe it was happening, before, after, or during it, and now I can't believe it happened. So.

I didn't get ready way too early this time! I loved my outfit it was so cute, and I drew whiskers on my wrist and my cousin did too :). I went over to my cousin's, and my aunt drove us to my uncle's office in Richmond. He took us to II it was so awesome of him. I was flipping out.

We got there and took pics with the signs and stuff I was vibrating and bouncing and shit I was so excited. We lined up and got in doors opened at six and it was a lot of little short lines so we got in really quickly. Immediately I wanted to go downstairs for merch.

We got in the merch line and like really like ahead in the line I was so proud of getting there so fast.

And I saw the like stand up thing background for the m&g?????? So I was like um wtf are they actually right there like thirty feet away from me? So I was watching it and had my phone ready to video. I SAW PHIL LESTER WITH MY OWN EYES LEAN FORWARD AND HUG SOMEONE. y'all you don't understand his hair is SO. BLACK. like it actually shocked me how black it was I guess it doesn't translate.

But anyway they had the last few people do the m&g, and then they left and Dan waved really quick and we all cheered and I GOT A VIDEO OF THEM AKFNDJSFBWJD.

Also, fan project tonight super cute just a pic of Virginia that said "VA LOVES YOU" I didn't know about it until I got there, but someone handed me a stack and asked me to pass them out and I was like um hell yes so I did that.

Anyway, we moved forward in the merch line and yo the line got so long I was so happy we went straight there omg. The merch setup was like really good! Very efficient they had a long table and everything up with prices and stuff it was so well set up and the guy who helped me was super nice.

I got both short sleeved shirts and the long sleeved shirt, as well as a hat and a poster, and my cousin got the hoodie, a poster, and the marble shirt. Cute as hell! It went really smoothly and quickly it was awesome and we just got right through.

We went to the bathroom and it had a lil ledge so we folded and organized our stuff and then went to the bathroom. Tbh the bathrooms there were REALLY nice, and not crowded at all when I went! The theatre itself was so nice you guys like I can't even believe how nice it was it was so fancy like pretty carpeted soft stairs and everything was so ornate and detailed and pretty. Just omg.

Anyway! Then we went and stood by the front doors for a bit and I handed out signs (if you saw me in the lacy white shirt and black shorts with short blond hair aye!). We sat in balconey D, so we went up (a LOT of stairs) and found our seats!

Seriously I can't overstate how gorgeous and amazing this theatre was so fancy with super soft seats and good room like it was so pretty and it had a ton of like Egyptian stuff on the walls omg it was so cool. Y'all. The set was GORGEOUS. Like the lights and the background and just. Wow. I felt so close even though we were the highest up, because everything was very stacked. We really weren't that far away even though we were towards the back like I could see the stage really well.

The set is so gorgeous wow. And I just jammed to all the songs on the preshow playlist it was so amazing I couldn't believe it was real.

Also Dan's Siri came on like twice and was like hi there's really nice merch downstairs and Dan left me to look at memes and stuff, and told us not to film bc iPads are bad lmao. (I filmed anyway don't arrest me).

Everyone FLIPPED SHIT when Welcome To The Black Parade came on oh my god it was so loud and amazing. The lights dimmed and off we went.

They opened with the really adorable video being projected omg my heart and then they rode in dramatically with their steam and everyone LOST THEIR SHIT it was amazing the crowd was so loud all night.

Phil read the Richmond Wikipedia page apparently (wow, nerd) lmao and talked about the rat basketball team. They literally mentioned the rat basketball team like at least six times throughout the show tonight y'all I'm.

Dan said shooketh at something at the beginning and I don't remember what it was but like djfndjsdbrb. Also he did the Naruto run the first time he ran off stage, and we all sCREAMED.

They did a smol duet of A Whole New World which I now know was inspired by the venue - it was so great though and Dan was like that's not what you want trust me it would start off good but it would quickly become horrible. It sounded really good though like I love them they should sing more.

I hadn't seen any spoilers about the beginning! They talked about what an introvert is and asked the introverts and extroverts in the room to cheer sjfbwjsj.

Dan had a six second challenge to pretend to be a llama sitnfndntkejr he pranced and did a noise we all DIED and then he was like "-NO!" it was hilarious sjfndjsnebd.

The segment about what they weren't gonna do had me shook I nearly died. "Please be gentle with the handcuffs; I have sensitive skin" IM DEAD.

Also when they went to walk up and pretend to strip and then they RIPPED OFF THEIR SHIRTS TO REVEAL IDENTICAL SHIRTS UNDERNEATH YOURE FUCKING KIDDING ME WHAT THE FUCK.

We were all really sad about the puppies so Phil said we'd get to see more puppies later in the show and we all screamed and Dan said if you're gonna promise puppies you better follow through.

When they offered to let people touch their hair I was like sjgbdjdbdjabfsn. Pastel personas skgbsjfkekfje??? They put on flower crowns and brought stuffed animals up to the front of the stage wow my heart.

They were like we're not gonna bring up a whole bunch of other YouTubers - because we have no friends and no one replied to our messages.

I can't remember for shit, but the whole beginning segment was just amazing. When they finished talking about how the show was interactive they were like "so that's why now we're going to make one of you stand up at random!!!!!!!" And they shined all the lights up and for a second it was chaos and then they were like kidding kidding we're just kidding and Phil was like your faces were priceless and Dan was like okay you can tell who the introverts and extroverts are the introverts are like crawling into a ball in their seats like "DONT PICK ME" I've never seen 3000 people curl up into a ball before. It was terrifying but also amazing!

Truth bombs! Honestly, I thought they were gonna do all the ones from the website, but they only did one each.

Phil's torture confession would be being bathed in cheese (Dan talked about if that included scrubbing, or if it included scrubbing under flaps y'all I was so done oh my god), but other options were mouth noises in headphones in his ears (to which Dan then did HORRIBLE and horribly loud mouth noises into his mic oh my god it was the worst thing my ears have ever heard ajtbcjejgsj *vomits* he said "not the asmr you came to hear, sorry") and ??? (Help I forgot)

Dan dreams about Nick Jonas in a fursuit at night ("the two things I lease wanted to hear right now, combined), but other options were a dark abyss ("no that's what I see when I look in the mirror") and a one direction reunion.

They would die from "Bees?" But other options were Dan falling out of the gaming chair and taking Phil down with him, and burning down the flat after setting a fire during a baking video gone horribly wrong (both of the runner ups they said were extremely realistic and plausible and they were like are you guys surprised we aren't dead yet we were all like yah). Dan was like where are the bees going to come from???? THAT FLAP keep you eyes on it.

We're real people with free will so you can't just make us do whatever you want, BUT we have made a simulation with a tiny Dan and Phil where you choose what they would do in completely normal, everyday situations that we experience in real life. Remember, tiny Dan and Phil still have emotions and can feel shame and guilt, so this is our test to see if you are responsible enough to be in control during this show - please do what you would actually want us to do if you were controlling us in real life.

Simulation! They have been working on this since they were FETUSES. Not babies, fetuses they were up in their mom's bellies with laptops editing this, and they spent billions of pounds and thousands of Richmond dollars (idk why they said Richmond dollars so many times during the show but sjtbsjdjd it was cute) on it.

Phil first he went to Barstucks (the simulations didn't want to get sued) and got a unicorn death frappe, with lots of sugar so he was vibrating, and he accidentally tweeted a picture of him in his underwear. Shirtless Satan appears and we all cheered for Satan they were concerned and Phil sold his soul to Satan to take the pic down bc he dropped his phone in his drink lmao. SATAN TAKES HIM TO HELL AND THERES DEMON DAN AND HE HAS A POTATO AND HE POTATO PRESSES PHIL TO DEATH FOR ETERNITY. then Phil was like "I still remember the feeling of a wet potato being pressed to my back" I was like sjbsjsjdsj ew.

Dan talked to the furry in the park and went to a furry rave (didn't show him the good Shiba Inu memes he had) and did body shots off of an otter and entered the ladydoor and slipped on the floor and died in his slothbear fursuit. Lmao rip (I'd already heard that ending though). Dan said the show was officially demonitized, and also said "there was an attempt" after people cheered for the good option lmao.

At the end they were like what a waste of all our billions of dollars and all the time spent editing as fetuses.

At the end of the simulation Phil talked about it being like a mob mentality and Dan compared it to fandoms and how if you like something and everyone else seems to have the same reason for liking it or whatever, the people who it especially means some thing to, their voices can get lost. And that's what this show is all about giving the people what they want and getting all the voices and stuff. Fandoms are often seen as one collective unit but you can't expect them all to want the same thing because they're all made up of very different individuals. Etc. It was good.

Our collective name was Kevin. We did a coordinated clap ("the asmr you do want to hear") it was the coolest fucking thing ever ajrnejfnej to build the hive mind. Then we chose a breed of dog for them to get "they just want us to get a dog Phil that's all they want" and Phil led it he was like I think I can get everyone to think the same thing, and we chose Fluffy the very terrifying Chihuahua it was so cool how they did it and that was the one I got so yay! They asked who didn't get fluffy and then they were like "that's okay that just means you aren't part of Kevin... YET." And then they just kept saying how we needed to get inside Kevin and stuff it was like okay wow.

Then we had the WHATS UNDER DANS BED. First of all that box is fucking hilarious, and I think Dan mentioned Phil just wanting an excuse to use props lmao. They explained it and then Phil brought out the audience participation balls "Phil has three balls." Okay. But they really emphasized how if you didn't want it you could just throw it to someone who did like they were so nice and understanding about it and when the music stopped Phil asked and made sure everyone who had one wanted it :). Also they were like keep the answers like amazingphil channel okay keep it PG. But it was actually a really cool concept and the lights went rainbow when they were throwing them around, which I LOVED! The three answers were an anthill but the ants are tiny dogs, a fursuit made of maltesers, and "I think he's trolling us and it's empty"/nothing. Y'all Phil was like has anyone seen a key under their seat and Dan was like wait what are we talking about wait no no I have the key akfnfjejd. They opened it, got the silver tube, opened that and got the scroll, and then they were like this has been in the tube in the locked box on the stage the whole time how could it possibly say what three random members of the audience said, and then they SLOWLY UNROLLED IT AND IT SAID TINY DOG ANTHILL, FURSUIT, AND NOTHING YALL I WAS SHOOK OUT OF MY MIND LIKE THE ONLY THING THAT COULD HAVE MADE THE SHOW WAS MAGIC AND THEY JUST DID THAT OH MY GOD. I'm still shook about it.

Then Phil took the banner and tore it up into like three or four big pieces and was like okay guys tear it up and pass it around tear and share I was so shook I was like oh my god I want a piece of that banner but obviously I was balconey, so they were ripping off pieces and passing it around and Dan and Phil were like omg it's like the walking dead down there "oh my gosh... That is.. violent." I was so shook that they did that like that was so nice and good like snejdbdabfbo.

Survey! Dan dabbed when he said statistics and Phil was like don't dab to statistics and Dan dabbed again and was like math *dab* there was so much unnecessary dabbing it was wow. Phil likes to use props and costumes so the brought out the glasses and clipboards YALL THEM IN GLASSES IN REAL LIFE 😭. Phil read the options for the audience participation one really dramatically and Dan was like "Phil wrote all the answers to these questions obviously" to which Phil replied "I wanted to make them spicy." 68% like audience participation, sixty some feel like they really know Dan and Phil (8% said who are Dan and Phil and Dan was like where do you think you are Shrek the musical? It was so good. I think Phil said maybe that's the parents. Incredible.) (Unnecessary third option bc Phil wanted to see what would happen - it used the middle screen) 40% like the sims the best, but pinof had 36%. Ditl had 16%, and baking and crafts both had four. They ROASTED the four percent who love crafts lmao it was great. (They spent the whole tour budget on the pie chart for the video series lmao it was FANCY) Sixty percent of people whlant Dan and Phil to give the people what Dan and Phil want, so I was really proud of us and Dan seemed surprised and happy about it he said Augusta was like ninty percent what the people want lmao.

ONE FINAL QUESTION WE ASKED YOU DAN OR PHIL BUT THATS TOO EASY NO WE ASKED YOU WHO WOULD YOU SACRIFICE BUT DAN NO ONES REALLY GOING TO BE SACRIFICED RIGHT THIS IS JUST A QUESTION ON A SURVEY IN A STAGE SHOW "I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT ABOUT DAN AND PHIL THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES... RIGHT?"

SUPER DRAMATIC SACRIFICE DAN OR PHIL "YOU MIGHT SAY I CANT CHOOSE TOO BAD THE WORLD IS FULL OF HARD DECISIONS ONE OF US WILL BE STRAPPED TO THIS WHEEL" PHIL SAID "ONE OF US IS GOING TO BE PUT IN MORTAL DANGER RIGHT NOW" AND THEN THEY BOTH JUMPED ONTO THE PLATFORM WITH THE WHEEL AND RODE IT BACKWARDS AND THEN INTERMISSION HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEYRE SO DRAMATIC AND EXTRA OH MY GOD IT WAS INCREDIBLE.

I'm forgetting so much but I'm gonna do this in two parts. Intermission seemed to come so quickly! It was at almost eight forty. Intermission was cool I stood up and stretched my legs bc as soon as I sat down my left leg fell asleep and it's still fucked up the. Some more jams though, and the last song they play was The Final Countdown lmao.

Quick note they are both so beautiful ??? Like?? I couldn't stop staring at their fucking legs oh my god and Dan's knees with his ripped jeans help. Also, I was mesmerised by the way Phil walks? And the way he runs and skips and does little jumps and shit? Like it's actually really graceful his legs are So Long and I'm just obsessed with watching him walk around omg. In summary - Legs ™

Edit: I totally forgot about the airhorn during Truth Bombs ajgbfjrnfsiej it was WILD Phil kept playing with it and pressing buttons to make noises before we even started doing Dan's, and Dan was like omg stop but we were all cheering because obviously it was amazing and Dan was like don't cheer when he does that you're encouraging him and we just cheered louder. (Phil also stroked the airhorn remote - the number of times some variation of the word stroke was said tonight..... So much)

At some point during the beginning they talked about why everyone loves the sims bc you can make people and make them do whatever you want and Phil was like like put a hundred sims in a swimming pool and remove the ladders and watch them drown slowly and I used to do that a lot as a kid does that say something and Dan was like that would explain a lot actually (I swear to God he said that phrase about Phil like three or four times throughout the show like wow). And Phil was like you could also make them woohoo with a skeleton or an alien and HE THRUSTED TO EMPHASIZE HIS POINT I WAS LIKE JESUS FUCK STOP PLEASE.

[fidelishaereticus]

OK so this isn’t gonna look like anything i’ve ever read before but uh here’s what I’m thinking of for how I want to tell Cardhouse and the Cage: The Shithow. It’s still very much in development so feel free to attempt an intervention before it’s too late

THE PLAN

- 1. Prologue A catchy scene from inside the Cardhouse, probably in prose, probably staring Jezebel, with an accompanying illustration doodle. You know, so the reader understands that this is gonna be a fun story about fucked up fairies and not like,,,,Some Bullshit forever. Also obvs sthg that’s going to be plot-relevant in the not-so-distant future of the narrative.

- 2. Meet Our Narrator (or: Some Bullshit) A handful of diary entries by HQ in the vein of La Nausée* (only a lot sillier). These should establish HQ as both endearing and wildly unreliable. Before long, HQ starts talking about fairies. She gives a brief overview of what a fairy is (what she’s “discovered” about their nature) before launching into a dissertation on the Star Program, following Alice as a case study. This section will be really short. I already have way too many HQ diary entries written but most of them can just be part of the expansion pack (i might even do some of them some of them as supplemental youtube videos tho because i think that’d be hilarious). 

- 3. First Arc: Alice’s Story.  HQ’s outline for her “dissertation” breaks Star-cultivation down into four or so phases, which form the major subsections of her oeuvre. At the beginning of each section we get a brief paragraph of intro-prose, as one would in a formal essay (naturally to be taken with a grain of salt). Instead of continuing as an essay, however, the prose gives way to a series of visuals in the style i’ve been posting lately (with the miniatures). Once the scene is set, the narrative might shift either into comic form or into prose-with-intermittent-illustration form. We could also get things like raw dialogue as IM-chats n shit, who knows, i’ll feel it out. In any case, it’s not clear whether the more visually-driven segments are HQ’s own creation, or rather a window we’re being provided into the story she’s found (that is, a more objective glimpse of the “raw data” she’s working from). HQ will sometimes break for analysis, or might even dissect a particular scene with circles and arrows and notes or whatever, but for the most part the comic/prose+visuals mode tells Alice’s story and should command the greater share of the reader’s attention. HQ fades into the background for a while and functions primarily as a remote framing device. - 4. Second Arc: lets kill this SOB alright alright alright As Alice’s story approaches it’s conclusion, we get some more personal diary entries from HQ interspersed amongst the narrative. Upon the conclusion of Alice’s story, HQ clearly becomes unhinged. She abandons her dissertation,  and the framing device shifts dramatically: we’re not reading her study or examining past events anymore: we’re in the “present”. I could shift narration to another character (possibly CR or LV--who have access to some degree of removed & mysterious omniscience), or proceed with first-person HQ prose (ugh that would limit me tho, don’t wanna do that), or just move on to a more objective mode of storytelling, where the narrator isn’t actually a character in the story. I’m considering writing this segment of the story in present tense, to further set it apart from the first segment (which i will write in past tense). This arc is (probably?) shorter than the first arc? It should be very tight, continuous, and driven, in any case.  

CONCERNS - will this make any fucking sense??? - i love my framing device but will it take too long to get to The Main Thing? - will i be able to fit everything i want into this framework????? - will i be able to draw this many things? They’ll be simple things and there will be a lot of words to help them along but like,,,,,,i draw so slow, and so bad. will i??? be able??? IS MY ART EVEN GOOD ENOUGH??? 8((( ON THE OTHER HAND - while i am not very motivated to write atm, i am motivated to draw. are my drawings great art? no, but they serve---and why not take advantage of that? Like, yes it takes me longer to draw than to write, and my writing is of a higher quality than my visual art, but all that is worth nothing if i can’t even bring myself to write (which often i can’t). Drawing one panel a day will be so much faster than my current average of like two sentences per month. Also, doodling my characters makes me want to write about them more? so idk MAYBE THIS COULD WORK,, DESPITE SOUNDING ABSOLUTELY INSANE -----

*It’s like La Nausée in that it is a [failed] historian’s personal investigation into a trippy depressive episode ~the intrinsic horror of conscious existence~. As in Nausea, something goes uncomfortably odd in the way that our narrator is perceiving the world; everything seems off suddenly, and in a very bad way. Our narrator looks a little too deeply into the oddness, decides this is a Cosmic Issue, and proceeds to make it weird. It’s better than unlike Nausea in that the narrator is a cooler character is a mercurial shitposter who refuses to give specifics about spacetime. She also believes that she can get to the bottom of the oddness by studying fairies while repeatedly asserting that they’re not real and she doesn’t believe in them, and that naturally makes everything more fun.

[mnetruinedmylife]

Fine

Just some unfinished IOI drabbles

“I’ll be alright.”

Three words that are so easy to say. So easily believed. Not because they’re particularly convincing, oh not at all, but rather because people want to believe them. Everyone wants to know that she’s going to be ok, no one actually wants to entertain the notion that she’s not. Because that’s a complication, and as Sohye as found out in the last few month, complications aren’t appreciated in the music industry.

Which brings her to the crux of the matter, she’s in the music industry. Which deity had deigned it fit to have that happen? It’s not like she didn’t want it, no she did want it. Perhaps not at first when the dawning horror that her company had thrown her under the proverbial bus came to light.

“How would you rate your singing and dancing skills?”

Confused wide-eyes stare at the two casting directors, “Um…I can’t sing or dance?”

The two women in front of share a look – eyes shining, teeth slightly wider than before, Sohye is reminded of those sharks in Finding Nemo.

The one on her left leans forward, resting her elbows onto the table, “Really now?”

Sohye isn’t stupid, she knows what they wanted when they accepted her onto the show. A butt monkey, the focus of a few laughs, some uncomfortable flailing – because it was a total coincidence that Heehyun and Chaeyeon were waiting in the wings with five cameras pointing at each of their faces when she performed – maybe even an inspiring ‘most improved’ story, and then boom bang, pack your bags and leave little actress girl.

Only it didn’t quite work out like that. They definitely underestimated their little underdog story segment and she became a little too popular than planned for.

“Nervous Sohye?”

Sejeong’s concerned face greets her, and Sohye nearly bows her head in deference – habit, she’s supposed to be a good natured, meek, and polite girl after all. She didn’t understand Sejeong, not at first. Why choose her of all people to be on her team? Why waste time correcting her instead of practicing, when Sejeong herself isn’t that much of a strong dancer?

Then it becomes obvious why, and Sohye nearly curses herself for being so stupid – something about the show must be sucking her brain cells out because she wasn’t stupid before she joined. Idols do just as much acting as actresses do, only it’s not seen, or praised – they all have images. The words get thrown around so easily that Sohye doesn’t think many people understand what it actually means. An image isn’t just something an idol presents, an image is a persona that an idol adopts. One that is cultivated through training, one they took classes to perfect, one that is put on from the moment they are in front of a camera and sometimes even after.

When she learns this, everything is easier to navigate. She can do this, she’s been taught how to act for years now, it should be easy. And it is. In the beginning she fumbles because of embarrassment, sheepishness, and a little intimidated at being in front of a two hundred judgemental eyes – but now it’s hers, the fumbling, shy, Kim Sohye, and the audience loves it.

Being an idol isn’t that much different to being an actress, as Sohye discovers. Only the acting is almost 24/7. She kind of likes it even.

“I’ll be alright,” Sohye says with a smile, “The choreo for Dream Girls isn’t that hard anyway.”

For a moment she wonders if Sejeong would believe her, the elder girl is scarily perceptive sometimes. But all she does is curve her eyes into smiles and nods, “Good. Let’s do our best ok?”

Sohye nods, “Ok.”

She might not have originally intended it, but between the beginning and end of the show, she grew to want it. While it might not be as strong as those who have wanted it for all their lives, chased it for all their lives – it’s a start, it’s something, and when Sohye wants something, she never lets anything get in her way.

_______________________)

“Never let anything get in your way.”

Somi gasps, heart pounding in her throat as her eyes shoots open. She stuffs her fist in her mouth and holds herself perfectly still. She learns the skill while on SIXTEEN, midnight sobs and thrashing nightmares were common, but Somi didn’t want to bother her roommates, didn’t want to show weakness. She picks it up from Jihyo – who probably had a lot of experiences with it in the past ten years, and then perfects it while on Produce 101.

Never let anything get in your way. Never let anything get in your way. Never let anything get in your way.

She holds her father’s words in her mind. Repeats it over and over again like a mantra. Because if you want something, you have to be willing to do anything for it. She wants this, oh so badly. When the lights are blinding her eyes, and the roar of the crowd deafens her ears, it’s worth it. When she dreams of scowling faces, of shadowy masses, of taunts and jeers and wakes up in cold sweat, it doesn’t seem to be.

Sighing, she slides out of bed, picking her blanket and pillow off the floor as she did so, and throws them back on her bed. Everyone else is asleep, and she’s careful not to wake them when she slips out the door.

The lights are all off, but someone left the blinds open and the moonlight streams through. A shadowy silhouette approaches her and wordlessly shoves a mug in her hands.

Somi fights the urge to look down. Hot chocolate. It makes her feel like a whining kid. Then again, Sejeong has always had that effect on her. They sit down on the kitchen stools opposite one another. As the warm drink slides down her throat and warms her belly, Somi closes her eyes, as if she could will her tiredness away just by doing so.

Sometimes Doyeon joins them, opens the fridge door, pulls out the ice tray and sits down at the table, crunching down the cubes one by one. Chaeyeon never actually comes into the kitchen, but she sits outside on the couch. They know she’s out there, and she knows they’re in here, and no one says a thing.  

None of them ever ask why the others are up, they don’t even speak to each other, and by morning no one mentions it. The first time it happened, Somi could almost believe that she had imagined the entire episode – only for Jieqiong to bust that bubble when she loudly complains about where all the ice went.

---------______)

“If you keep smiling, people are going to wonder where all the ice went.”

Nayoung nearly rolls her eyes, but she supposes she’s luckier than most, “I really hope this stone image isn’t permanent.”

The first time she walks into the Pledis training hall, they’re having lessons on maintaining an image. The instructor takes one look at her and sighs, pinches her nose and probably sends a prayer to whatever deity she believed in. Nayoung knows that she can’t emote very well when stressed, it’s just the way she is – only idols are expected to smile and be happy all the time and those that aren’t, get branded by labels like ‘Ice princess’ if they’re lucky, or else they get ‘rude’ and ‘bad attitude’ tacked onto their image if they’re not. Or sometimes both, the Jung sisters seem to manage both.

Nayoung ends up with a character out of it. She should be thankful. It’s pretty much the entire reason why she got noticed in the first place. If it hadn’t been for Mnet’s little ‘Stone Nayoung’ segment, she wouldn’t even be on people’s radar. What could she possibly bring to the group that hasn’t already been given, and better too? Can’t sing as well as Yeonjung and Sejeong – can’t even sing as well as Jieqiong, or speak any foreign languages, can’t dance like Chungha, nowhere near charismatic like Somi and Sohye, not adorable like Mina or Yoojung, can’t act like Chaeyeon, not even as pretty as Doyeon. They’re going to realise their mistake voting her up soon enough, what could she, Im Nayoung, possibly—

“What are you thinking about?” Yebin interrupts her thoughts, poking her forehead with her index finger. It drags her back to reality, sitting on her bed, trying to pack because she’s supposed to be moving into a new dorm soon.  

Nayoung shrugs, folding a t-shirt, “Nothing, just…this whole IOI thing, seems like dumb luck that I got in and…” she trails off, flushing slightly, feeling extremely guilty and insensitive for bringing this topic up with Yebin.

“I’m not a delicate flower who’s going to burst into tears you know,” Yebin says wryly, “You can talk to me if you need to.”

“I can think of other things we can be doing aside from talking,” Nayoung points out with a smirk, right as a thud sounds against the far wall and there’s some muffled cursing on the other side, “See? Jieqiong and Eunwoo have the right idea.”

“Don’t distract me,” Yebin says, swatting Nayoung’s aside, “You know it’s not healthy for you to bottle up your feelings oh great leader. We only have a few hours before you’re shipped off for months, so talk.”

“We only have a few hours,” Nayoung repeats, running a finger down Yebin’s chest, “I’m going to miss you.” She gets her way in the end, Yebin always gives in.

She’s not avoiding talking. No, she’s definitely not. Because for her to avoid talking, there has to be something to talk about. There’s nothing to talk about – she got in as a fluke, and sooner or later, they’re going to realise what a horrible mistake this is.

-______)

This is a horrible mistake.

Chaeyeon paces back and forth along the corridor. Mind twisting into messier knots as she fidgets. What in the world possessed her to do this? She made it in, because of course she made it in, after the stunt Heehyun pulled. Makes it to A, one of the fastest runners, first one to pick her song, and what does she do? Pick one with a rap and fierce image like 2NE1’s Fire to prove herself?

No, because that would be sane.  

No, instead Heehyun picks Into the New World, with the fresh, cute innocent concept, grabs JYP’s Jeon Freakin Somi, Heo Has Already Debuted Chanmi, Jung Been On Two Mnet Shows Eunwoo, and sticks Chaeyeon’s face right in the middle of their formation. Stupid Heehyun. Insane Heehyun. Stupidly smart and insanely loyal Heehyun. Urgh.

She can’t be in two groups at once, there has to be some kind of rule against that somewhere! But apparently there isn’t, and she is.

It’s tiring, bone-breaking, exhaustive work, but that’s nothing new. Her sleep schedule is completely out of whack, she eats maybe once a day if she’s lucky, catches an hour or two of sleep if she’s really lucky, and is shunted from schedule to schedule. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like she’s even in her body, it feels like she’s sleepwalking through everything.

Stand there. Pose here. Run like this. Wear this. Put this outfit on. No try this one. Sit still. Smile. Look pretty. That’s a good girl. Devious little girl aren’t you? A perfect idol. Greedy isn’t she? So pretty though. One group isn’t good enough, has to have two. So well mannered. Kind of rude actually. Soft spoken, like a lady. Did you see the look on her face? Kids these days, no manners at all. She should be grateful. Did you hear what they say? Ah yes. Plastic surgery. Selfish. Down that road. A beautiful path isn’t it? Dreaming of a flower path. Do this CF Chaeyeon. That one too. Wait no we need you to fly to France now. Do you dream girl? I—

Chaeyeon’s eyes flash open. She slowly steadies her breathing, staring up blankly at the van ceiling as she did so. She should go to sleep. She has a schedule at four am. Wouldn’t do to look tired, the last thing she needs is more articles about her. Didn’t really matter all that much really, people would say what they want no matter what.

-____)

[marsupial-tapir]

okay ANIMORPHS cooking headcanons, who can follow a recipe, who doesnt understand portion control, who sets pasta on fire

wow what a surprise i cannot believe u have requested this

take 3 on the cooking headcanons. U ASKED FOR IT

marco: remember how whenmarco was 11 his mum died and his dad fell into a major depressive episode andmarco unofficially became his own sole carer for 2 years? HA good times wellmarco knows how to cook. thats how he’s alive. he never viewed the task withmuch enthusiasm bc it was just like,, something that needed to be done,, (atleast some of the time. obviously 2 in 5 days it was just m&ms for dinner)and he’s got all his skills from trial-and-error and from watching the terribledaytime cooking shows that his dad watches, so he’s not an Artiste™ but hispractical skills are off the wall. he can make a shockingly palatable meal outof nothing but convenience-store canned items, jake’s lunch leftovers, andgently-expired condiments. also he is a MASTER when it comes to Secret KitchenTricks (many of which were cannily passed down to him by a forward-thinking evabefore she disappeared). the only person who knows about these talents this iscassie. one time he called her and she was like “im SORRY marco im distractedby this bacon disaster, i just put the olive oil in and its all going wrong”and marco’s like “well duh there’s your first problem. you dont FRY withOLIVE OIL cassie. thats why it SMOKES. use rice bran oil like the rest of us”and cassies like ???????? she never tells anyone bc she realises hes lowkeyembarrassed by the fact that he’s developed this as an Adaptive Survival skill,and when hes a kid he plays it down like nbd, but later on when he getsolder he starts to milk this talent for all it’s worth. hes like hang on…. thisshit is VALUABLE. that’s when his true culinary talents can blossom

jake: uworded this “who sets pasta on fire regularly” and my response to that is thatone (1) time jake did Not set the pasta on fire and it made marco cry realtears of joy. listen jake tries So Hard (because, in the spirit of being theUltimate Straight Ally Dadfriend and an All Round Decent Fella, he’s lowkeyaware of his existence as a straight white guy and makes well-meaning attemptsto avoid hypermasculinic douchebaggery in domestic life. also he’s probablythat disgustingly wholesome Hey Mom Do You Need Some Help In The Kitchen kindof kid) but when he tries its just. so bad. oh my god its so bad. he’s onlyever tried like 3 ultra-basic Good Ol Classic American meals and every time hedoes its a crime against his culinary heritage. his brownies come out lopsided,, he putswildly incorrect ingredient volumes in,, he confuses salt for sugar,, somehownever manages to stir the cake mix properly,, tries to do taste tests like “i thinkit tastes ok??” no it doesnt jake this gravy tastes like toxic waste,, withoutfail lets something catch on fire while he’s squinting at the recipe trying tofigure out which step he was up to,,, its a mess. his family suffers through itnevertheless because they are Heroes. “t-tastess – gre at,, llittleb uddy”pre-yeerk tom says once, with tears of anguish streaming from his eyes

rachel: terriblecooking is a berenson gene and if rachel had survived the war marco’s talk showwould have included a nailbiting Reality TV segment where contestants sample amystery berenson dish and have to race to identify the Cousin of Origin beforefood poisoning sets in. this segment would have been discontinued after the 3rdhospitalisation and a food safety inquiry. in essence rachel is as terrible asjake but also worse because the constant failure pisses her off so much thatall of her concoctions are brewed with a terrible bitter malice. Fuck You,Pasta. You Deserve to Burn. also i think at some point in the series itmentions taht rachel tried being a vegetarian and i choose to believe this istrue and also that it is the point where things go from worst to worster.eventually even she has to admit she’s never gonna manage it and resorts tolike. deep-frying entire zucchinis or something

tobias: uknow what?? im gonna say Not Terrible?? tobias is pretty creative and lbr idoubt his neglectful ass relatives were gonna cook for him. he probably pickedup some stuff from recipe books bc he liked reading through them (listen i cantcook for shit but even i get a kick out of lookin at food books bc goddamn??the aesthetic?? plus tobias was a book kid in general so) also if we’re runningwith the autistic tobias concept (its Canon, folks) i like the idea that as ahuman tobias couldve been hypersensitive esp. to tastes, so he was pretty goodat noticing when two flavours clashed and figuring out what stuff to puttogether to avoid that. (obviously he cant do this as a hawk but sometimes hewatches ax’s food choices and the twist of primal horror he experiences is acomforting reminder that some vestiges of his humanity remain). HOWEVER by thesame token he also doesnt strike me as the sort of Organised Efficient personwho’d be a really productive cooker. i might be self-projecting here but like,,have u ever tried to string together a series of practical tasks into an organisedsequence while in the kitchen,,, theres like 80 bowls and justt too manyutensils and timers goin off and u forgot to put the herbs in and u ran out ofbench space so u gotta try start washign up at the same time but meanwhile ugotta Coordinate all the cooking stuff really fast so u dont poison urself orstart a fire and then u lose focus zonin out thinkin about smth else u alreadymessed up the order of actions sso do u start again or just eat the garbage or??? look cooking is hard and i feel like tobias gets that. he’s ok at it intheory but his application is shit. also hes a bird

cassie: idsay she’s not a natural culinary prodigy but with lots of patient practiceshe’s become pretty decent. im not sure if its canon but for some reason imconvinced her dad is a really good cook?? meanwhile her mum is approachingberenson-level bad and DESPISES it. hooooo boy. (she and rachel bond overthis). this means her dad enlists cassie as Head Kitchen Assistant and teachesher the ropes, and she really quite enjoys it? preparing a meal is simple andpractical and instantly-gratifying in a way thats really calming, and she likesbeing able to spend time with her dad. also not to be sappy but one time theyhave rachel over for dinner and cassie and her dad are helping each other stirthe pot on the stove while her mum and rachel viciously chop vegetables andtoss carrot tops at them from across the kitchen as a protest against beingrelegated to washing-up duty, and afterwards cassie tries to make brownies but burnsthem atrociously and they gotta pick through the charred remains to find ediblebits and rachel says “HA who’s top of the Poisons Authority Watchlist now??…dont answer that” and thats. a really good night. cassie holds on to that. ALSOafter the war cassie pretends she’s a way worse cook than she actually is soshe has an excuse to invite marco over to “”help her”” and get him doingsomething different. he never admits that it helps but she knows fromexperience it does

ax: HOOO BOY HERE COMES THE WILDCARD. i was torn betweensaying “theres an intergalactic petition to establish a restraining orderbetween ax and Every Kitchen” and “he is a culinary TREASURE” but u knowwhat?? porque no los dos. ax around food is an unrestrained force of nature. this is a canonical fact. he gathers his flavours from the world around him (literally from the entire world around him, and from under him, and sometimes from the gutter to his left) AND im gonna say that despite his unconventional pantry choices hes actually,, not too bad at making flavours Work. unfortunately since he never has to occupy a human body for longer than 2 hours he has never had to work around the concept of “”food poisoning”” and his talents would have gone to tragic waste,, had marco not stepped in to save the day. with the help of marco’s PRACTICALITY and his handy snippets of earth advice like “the alfoil is aUTENSIL not an INGREDIENT what the FUCK AX how are u even CHEWING THAT” ax’s raw talent is skilfully tamed. together they areunstoppable. They take out several team cooking shows on network tv,once because ax famously used the kitchen’s set props as a garnish. Ax probablybriefly invests in a popup restaurant for the fun of it and meets with roaringcritical success before it is gently shut down by the well-meaning andhighly-entertained food safety authorities, on account of his questionableingredient choices. Notable exchanges in the restaurant’s brief andspectacular history include the food connoisseur who located ax personally toimplore “what is this…. subtle twist of flavour? the acidic flare that tinglesin the throat and warms the belly to its deepest crevice? please aximili, umust reveal what mystery ingredient is responsible for this luxuriant gustatorysensation” “its helicopter fuel”

[lesbianyennefer]

ok ive finished andromeda and so im gunna collate my final gathered thoughts below:

All in all its been a good game but for the first time in my life in not just a mass effect but a bioware game i dont LOVE it i cant even say i think its very good - ive even been edging on outright disinterest and boredom at various points throughout. bioware games for all their faults have always made me get fully into their stories get completely immersed in the world and in mass effects case in their characters too. but andromeda is the first time ever that i find myself saying if someone asked me how good it was i would say meh. if someone asked me how the latest installment in my favourite thing to exist on this planet was i would say meh. as someone who for whom the original trilogy is genuinely my favourite thing in existence there arent words for how much it upsets me. im not even like ‘i wanna play again!!!’ like i usually am because im usually still so immersed in the world. here are some thoughts and delving deeper into the things that stood out to me:

- the writing: its poor. there have been a few funny moments and lines and most of the main quest dialogue lines are good but compared to what we are used to from mass efefct it PALES. only one moment of real enjoyment stands out to me in the entire game and that was the movie night one - of the only moments in the game I got happy about like the original trilogy. the writing for dialogue not just with npcs but with companions is often clunky, nonsensical, boring and adds nothing to furthering knowledge/relationships. i honestly couldnt tell you a lot about many of them because the conversations didnt pertain to actually getting to know them. it says in the codex that they all consider me close friends but its never been mentioned that they even considered me one nor can i recall when the friendship actually got going or how we reached the ‘close’ part. similarily a lot of criticism from critics was about the base elements being rehashed from the original and its true. so much has just been copy pasted from the ot in a way that actually makes this version less interesting. the big ‘reveals’ in the story are also so badly done that when jaal mentioned the angara were made by the jaardun is it? i didnt have a wow moment like mass effect has given me in the past i was so confused by everything going on i was just like what? nobody seemed to make a big deal out if either considering an entire race just found out they were genetically engineered. the only real ‘wow’ moment i had in the game was finding out ellen ryder was still alive and jien garson was murdered and even then you cant tell anyone and its pretty much forgotten!! ryder knows that jien was murdered by possibly this benefactor who seems to have ulterior motives for all of them and she also knows the reapers invaded and as far as shes aware eradicated the entire milky way. maybe thats something that should be shared with leadership hmm? (as much as i hate tann)  

- the plot: touching on the last the plot was, to me, nothing to write home about. ive always enjoyed that mass effect has a linear storyline that you get stuck into and follow through at a good pace. now i know they said andromeda was going to be more exploration based game - which i would normally like! - but not when the exploration has almost nothing to do with the main story and is so fucking much that you could play for 3 days 12 hours a day and not get to the next bit of the main storyline!! when you space it out too much the audience - or i - loses all connection with the sporadic main plot and what we are actually supposed to be doing so much so that by the time you go to play the next segment you dont even really know why youre there or whats going on. similarly the plot never made me go :O which the ot did a lot. an example ive mentioned before is that seeing the citadel always makes me go ahhh!!! the nexus by comparison is pretty boring. despite its flaws i love the storyline surrounding the reapers and it always gets me each time i play. sitting her writing this if you asked me to detail the main plot of andromeda i honestly couldnt. i cant remember what i did or in which order. theres no substance or linearity.  

- the exploration: i again cant believe im saying this but swtor a mmo game from 2011 has more interesting open worlds with more MANAGEABLE and relevant side quests than andromeda. they might be beautiful but none of the worlds stood out to me - though i loved elaaden and the downed remenant ship star wars reference. i dont mind doing a few bland side quests but when there in the 50s and they lead you on goose chases across entire planets i begin to get agitated. i cant recall the amount of times i had to go back to planets like kadara for one 5 minute firefight and a couple of lines of dialogue. going through the galaxy map animations, the landing animations, the lift down to the slums then crossing the threshold to actually reach the map to THEN find your destination? yeah im pretty done by then.    

- side quests: tying into the above side quests! bioware hinted theyd learned a lesson from dai and taken inspiration from the witcher 3 for their approach to side quests and they appear to have done neither. there are MORE side quests than there were in dai and i actually didnt mind dais but andromedas have become an issue for me - probably because there were so godamn many. they dont have any baring on the story and they are bland and uninteresting mostly fetch quests. i hate bringing the witcher into this because i dont like giving praise to cd projekt red but the truth is bioware could stand to ACTUALLY learn from the witcher 3. the side quests in that are small in number, long in plot and actually connected to the main story. they dont make you feel like youre straying from the plot, their content is deep and very good and they quite often have major consequences. see triss’ quests in novigrad.  one thing i will say is they did seem to take a little of the last into andromeda. some choices have consequences ie saving the salarians over the krogan. that was pretty cool but still underdeveloped. 

- the relationships: by the end of the story i  can say I love all my squadmates despite the fact that i feel like i barely got the chance to know them (the only one il say i dont know at all well enough to love em is gil who has no content aside from the incredibly uncomfortable jill storyline and i wonder why hes the negelected one hmm?). i loved how they moved around and talked to each other but the amount of times i went round to see them and they had nothing to say was a LOT compared to the fact that in me3 everytime you went to see someone they had something (or multiple somethings) to say often without having to enter into a cutscene style animation just to see if they actually want to talk. in terms of romantic relationships ( i romanced peebee) i was disappointed by how little your romanced companion interjects on the story. at least in peebees case there was very little content and she seemed hardly bothered when my ryder got injected then killed herself and then died AGAIN to save them aside from a little snarky “hands off” comment when the archon grabbed her face. she mentioned a little bit back on the ship but compared to me3 and how liara/garrus/ash/kaidan would interject a lot on mission and have hints to their romance sprinkled throughout it felt like another forgotten thing. not one person on the ship mentioned me and peebee aside from a quick thing from sam when i went to see him in my cabin. also jazzed up sex scenes dont mean anything if the rest of the relationship is bland and overlooked. i prefer liara and sheps me3 scene 10x over peebees (my little gay heart still cries). 

- the music: WHERE WAS THE MUSIC??!?! one of my favourite things about games FULLSTOP and the cherry on top of mass effect has always been the music. to this day i love the atmosphere that noveria creates and vigil makes me fucking cry. the suicide mission gets me pumped and leaving earth leaves a gaping hole in my chest. (diverting a bit even dai had fantastic music. in hushed whispers, the lost temple and thedas love theme are among my faves.) aside from the heleus galaxy map music and the ambient from that one destroyed planet i cant recall a single piece of music that stood out. i can remember about 3 tunes overall the map, the main menu and the one that plays a lot when you fight kett. there wasnt even any proper ambient music for the worlds!!!!! there arent words for how upset i am that theres no fucking mission themed bangers. im just really sad about this.       

i think at the end of the day a big reason for me why i havent loved it is because as ive said before it doesnt feel like mass effect to me. to a pretty great extent i think the reason for this is the decision to move to the Andromeda galaxy. the absence of shep and the crew and the normandy is another huge factor but rather unavoidable in terms of continuing the games, but moving to andromeda has robbed the series of everything that made it mass effect. the mass relays, the citadel, the council, the alliance, earth, thessia, palaven they all made mass effect mass effect. Not to mention the quarians (one of my fave races ever), the drell, the volus, hanar, batarians, vorcha they were all a part of what mass effect IS. even the architectural style of the colonies, the nexus its all different and it doesnt have any connection to the ot and the world it created. andromeda feels like its own game completely unrelated to mass effect and one that when considered on its own has an incredibly shaky foundation and sporadic storytelling. at the end of the day it was fun to pass the time but as a huge mass effect fan i feel it was incredibly disappointing and to be quite honest i dont consider it a part of the mass effect i love.   

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

Homestuck High - Chapter 3

Homestuck high Chapter 3: Dark magick and a lemon, a homestuck fanfic | FanFiction

this chapter contains ADULT CONTENT between john and rose!

~The author is either a child or a master of irony. I can't really tell

if u do not like it plz skip over it. im really enjoying riting this story but ill upload more 2morrow this is the last update for now I WANT REVIEWS

John and Rose were in a field holding hands and kissing.

~Check out this ADULT CONTENT YO!!!!!111!!

They were alone and the sun was high in the sky. Rose was in a long white dress and a sun hat and John was chasing her through corn and sunflowers.

~But weren't they holding hands? You can't hold hands with someone and be chasing them at the same time

He felt happy. She spun around and her silken gown brushed against the corn as she ran backwards in slow motion.

~How is that possible in real life

John went to grab her, but she moved out of the way and he stumbled over a giant cliff and fell into darkness.

~Woah what the hell. If the bottom is dark, that means it's a ravine, otherwise the sun would light it up. Why is there a giant ravine in a cornfield?

"John" a voice boomed as he hit the floor "I am the dark genie of precipice Araida!"

~Wat

Thunder boomed.

"You are yur frends are in GRAEVE DANGER" she said

~GRAEVE DANGER

"What do you mean!" John said he didnt want any harm to come to Rose so he was worried since they handnt had sex yet.

~Why is THIS your incentive to protect her?

"JADE IS PREGNANT WITH THE SON OF A DEVIL"

~Hey! Just because Dave has red eyes doesn't make him the Devil!

Aradia bombed

~Aradia bombed

as more thunder struck loudly "And Rose is NEXT"

"O M G" John giggled

~That is not the right reaction buddy

"you must destroy the dammed

~Dammed

incubes on a nigth when the moon is full and spill his blod onto Jade and make her drink it so it kills the baba!" Ariada proclaimed

~What the shit

"But WHO IS THE INUCUBS!" John demolished

~Why does the author always use really weird exclamation words?

as he clentched his fists.

Aradia glowed "You must find out for yourself john! UNLASH THE POWER FROM WITHIN AND DO NOT LET THE DEMON TANT YOUR ROSE OR SHE WILL WILT"

She handed him two plastic horns

~If they're Kanaya's horns and he uses them to flirt with Rose I will die happy

"When you put these on you will turn into my faithful demon sslayer ERIDAN"

~DAMMIT

she magistrated "He will serve you well"

"Ok" John said and he woke up

~IT WAS ALL A DREAM

"Oh your ok" Rose said and she hugged John

"What happened" John elaborated

~That's not what elaborate means

as Dave hugged him next.

Dave raged

~Every time the author uses a weird word to describe how someone says something an angel loses it's wings

"Dark magick came out of your mcdonnaldss burger and FOUND ITS WAY TO YOUR SOUL"

~What the hell

"How!" John demanded

~Through the power of TRANS FATS!!!

"we do not yet know" Tarvos clemenced "We think that by eating it it distrupted the forces within your purities"

~Or that

"oh my gog" John said seriously

~How do you say "oh my gog" seriously?

The next day at school the group sat in a dark corner away from everoyne else as hey tried to think what happened to Jonn. But John knew that deep down there was an demon after Rose's ovaries.

~That is one of the weirdest sentences I have ever read

He couldnt bare the thought of his love falling to such a trap.

"Maybe it was just food poisoning" Feferi helped

"No my legs began to shake with a need i have long forgotten when i saw the black aroma!" Tarvos said

~Wat

"Where are Jade?" Rose asked

Dave began to cry into Tarvos shoulder. John had a feeling in his gut that this was not a god sign.

~Quite the opposite, a demon sign

"She cheated on me with a college guy" he moaned into Tarvos. he was so upset.

~I only just realized that this entire setting of the trolls being on Earth and no one finding it at all weird makes no fucking sense

"OMG Dave" Vriska purred as she pulled his face into her boobs. Dave cried into them instead.

~What the fuck

"John we need to talk" Rose announced

"Ok" John said

They got up and went to a private part of the school where no one could see or hear them. John had a feeling that he would be getting lucky as some people call it but he knew he had to be carful. He couldnt risk getting his rose pregnant or the conseqences would be FATALITY.

"John" Rose moaned "Will u be my boyfriend?"

~Wait, you weren't already? Even after Out-of-character!Rose tried to have sex with you?

"Ok" John said

~Not "of course" or "I'd love to" or "absolutely", just "ok"

"So you will have sex with me then since thats what people do when they go out" Rose said

~That's quite a leap from "hey let's get to know each other better" to "hey let's fuck" but what do I know

John could not resist those gigantic bosoms in that tight school top were begging him to rip it off right here and plant his seed DEEP inside of her. but he had to control himself or things would get bad.

~This entire paragraph. Just. What. The. Fuck.

"I do not know Rose" John manifested "Maybe we should wait!"

"I AM TIRED OF WAITING FOR YOU JON. I WANT YOU TO PUT IT IN ME NOW."

~Rose, stop, this is sexual harassment

Rose did not need to say more. John teared open the girls school shirt and her boobies came springing out in a wave of bouncyness. They were like those bouncy balls, only they were softer. He ripped off her skirt and looked at her panties. there was water already dripping from her patnies and her thighs were wet.

~Oh dear god, it's getting worse

He took off his trousers and then ripped her panties into too feeling how wet they were between his hands. More water began leaking out of her flower while she moaned. She took off her bra and then pulled out Johns hard member and pressed it to her sacred area.

~Why do I do this to myself

"Put it in me Johnny!" she cried loudly.

~ROSE. STOP IT NOW

"Ok"

~Wow, John, you sure have a way with words!

John said and he put his shaft into her tight hole. It was hot and wet inside. She began orgasming and making sexual animal like noises.

~I did not expect this kind of thing to be in this story. This puts The Star Within's weird, overly-sexual make out scenes to shame

"Oh oh oh! Oh John! Pull it in a little deeper! Ooooooh yeah!" Rose exclamated.

~I can see why GeekToSpeak never made a part 3 to their reading

She clawed his back like a tigeress in heat and John contiued to deflower his sweet rose. He already felt close to consumating their love with his seed.

~John stop it now this is going to end badly

He could feel the water flowing out of her and onto the floor beneath them. It made him want to drink it all up and feed it to her.

~I have no words

he could not control himsellf any longer and they came together in one giiant orgasm.

~Does this mean it's over?

"JOOOOOOOOHN!" she moaned as he came deep within her carven, her flower oozing with the white liquid as he pulled out of her.

~This entire segment is fucked up on so many levels

"NO! John! Rose!" Jade's loud cry mewled.

~JADE, GET OUT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE

They turned their sweaty heads

~I imagine some creepy scene of them with unchanging smiles slowly turning to her in sync

to see Jade struggling in the grasp of a man who looked more evil than ANY other man they had seen.

~I mean, you fought Lord Emglish, so I doubt that

His aura admitted a dark energy that made the clouds come together and boom lightening.

~That's not how science

"NOW THAT ROSE HAS BEEN GIVEN THE SEED I CAN PLANT MY SPAWN!" the evil man yelled

~Creep

"Sollux, it hath been a while!"

~That's some Caliborn-level shitty twist

Tarvos trembled as he, Feferi, Dave, Vriska and Gamzee all came running up to the area.

"John, use the power of my demon slayer to help Jade!" John heard aradia's voice call.

He reached into his pockets and pulled out the plastic horns and stuck them into his head. He felt himself morphing into a different being until he was no longer John but a purple capped man with thick rimmed glasses.

~the names ampora

~eridan ampora

~FUCK that sounded stupid, nevvermind

"Sollux" John's now deep Eridan voice boomed "It's time to duel.

john has transformed into eridan and sollux wants to plant his spawn! who will win! plz review and then u will find out!

~Was this story written by Karkat? Because it's CANCEROUS

~*badum, tchhhhhhhh*

~I’m not sure if I should tag this NSFW or not

[tfw-no-tennis]

hunty x hunty cont

soooo we watched more! woohoo

we finished the hunter exam arc???? i THNK? lmaoooo at the end of the ep (21 i thiiiiink) we were on, satotz was like BUT THE HUNTER EXAM ISNT EVEN OVER YET or w/e lol aigh??? whats up w/that

anyways a lot happened in the last few eps that we watched....man i shouldve written this earlier but i litrelly havent been online. anyways

so during the hunter exam stage 4...gon is literally perfect (as i always have to say), him reuniting w/leorio and kurapika was rlly sweet :’) 

of course he immediately offered to help....goodest boy 

and wow that kid has such a powerful nose bvhjksfbjsk he rlly be a gr8 sniffer 

ok literally the part where leorio was in the cave and was like GON KURAPIKA DONT COME IN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and they both full speed sprint into the cave with 0 hesitation.....we love a 0 brain cells family 

i love leorio so much he really just b running around w/a switchblade and a breifcase, both of which he barely used during the exam lmao

so bummed that leorio slicing up tht snake happened offscreen. how tf did that even work, he doesnt have a goddamn sword

gon just being able to hold his breath for almost 10 mins makes so much sense somehow...he rlly is one of those shounen protags who is just casually a ridiculous human being and doesnt even fully realize that its weird 

that shot of him carrying everyone out of the cave was so sweet

and of course gon vs snakes....hes so perfect....he trusts his friends so much :’) 

also random aside but im so glad tonpa is out and idk if i talked abt this in my prev post but i feel like in most shounen he wouldve been like, so inspired by gons shounen protag energy that he wouldve changed his tune and taken the exam genuinely and either passed or declared that hed definitely pass next year - but no, he was awful til the end, this aint that kind of story (yet...?) 

have i mentioned that i hate hisoka? cause i hate hisoka. nasty ass crusty clown bitch 

what else happened in the phase 4 stuff. oh yeah killua clowned on those triplet dudes (and hanzo lowkey), which was great

ok the opening not having changed this whole time is so funny. imagine if it never changed and its still basic and cheery when everything gets crazy and dark lmao 

ooh my god i forgot to mention this last time but i feel like gons backpack is full of hair gel and hair gel ONLY, he only brought hair gel and his fishing rod. this is canon ty 

oh gosh when killua and gon reunited at the end of the 4th stage....OOOUGH so precious...those two are so cute god. i want a compilation of their cute moments together i hope that exists 

GOD OH FUCK the scene on the airship where kurapika and gon talked bc gon was clearly bothered by something (what happened w/hisoka obvs. i hate that clown bitch) and OUGHHHH OH GOD gon crying LICHRALLY killed me oh man :( i was literally just chanting NO NO NO!!!! at the TV cause seeing tiny baby boy upset was so sad....and ik it gets soooo much worse oh god i cant handle it 

the whole convo was really good and really anti-shounen (once again...feel like thatll be a theme lmao) bc like, it was a healthy convo where gon talked honestly abt his feelings instead of using some shounen protag BS phrases like ‘it doesnt matter!!! ill be stronger next time!!!’ or w/e....and kurapika is a such a good parent oh man :( 

again, cant get over how genuine and uncomplicated the teamup of the main 4 characters has been....literally no ‘we’re competing and only teaming up for convenience/the hunter exam comes before our friendship’ nonsense 

did anything else happen on the airship. ider 

anyways. can i talk abt illumi now. CAN I TALK ABT ILLUMI NOW. H8 THAT BITCH. 

ok wait back up theres other stuff

the interviews w/the candidates was interesting! i love how the old dude was SO not picking up what Creepy Hisoka was putting down lmaooooo

that poor old guy lmao he seems like a decent dude, he was like oh i dont wanna fight gon and killua cause theyre kids,....RIP u red shirt legend 

the bracket setup was so interesting oh man....very funky and creative. and then it wasnt really fully utilized lol, i feel like thats indicative of a bigger patten - hxh so far has been really creative and interesting, and clearly uninterested in setting things up simply to check off boxes on a shounen tropes checklist....i can already see what makes it so great if this keeps up bc daym, so many shounen have their interesting themes drowned out by the overwhelming necessity for the plot to hit certain shounen story beats, smothering otherwise new/fresh ideas and rerouting them back into the same old over-trodden shounen trope territory 

on a meta level, i wonder if the author was like, allowed more leniency (’do whatever bro’) bc hed already been successful w/yu yu hakusho. i havent seen/ready yyh so idk how ‘typically shounen’ it is but thats st that im curious about 

aaanyways. the tournament starts w/hanzo beating up gon for THREE HOURS STRAIGHT. jesus dude. so yeah obviously leorio and kurapika are the best parents ever and them getting so righteously angry over seeing this happen to gon is so heartwarming and good and also a big big mood 

they love their son okay. also that was fucked up. ALSO i find it interesting that thats only the second time we’ve seen kurapikas eyes turn red 

i bet that hisoka saw that also and somethign something phantom troupe, see bottom of post in predictions section 

seeing gon get beat up like that made my heart hurt :( especially when hanzo broke his arm...oof. 

god also i cant believe hanzo is 18 hes literally bald hvbhjafbjs whats w/hxh and making everyone a teen or younger lmao god 

also omfg i love that leorio and kurapika are lichreally 19 and already have kids wow thats amazing especially considering their kids are 12. its so funny that theyre such Parents already considering that the age gap is kinda hilariously small, espec bc i thought that they (mostly leorio) were a lot older at first lmao 

the fact that gon gets to win that fight against hanzo was a legit shock to me....again, anti-shounen. we’d normally want to see what our protag can do in a fight - espec in a tournament-style arc where the consequences arent as high typically - so we’d want him to go further, which is easy here bc to move on he has to lose, which is easy bc gon is a baby w/no offensive capabilities (that we’ve seen)

god ive talked abt this already but its so fascinating how we havent really had any full-on fights???? espec w/the main 4 characters????? we still barely know what they can do....WE STILL HAVENT BEEN INTRODUCED TO NEN???? 

ive been spoiled (i guess?) to the existence of nen but thats abt it. what can it do? what is it? fuck if i know lmao. so i could totally see them pulling a ‘we were using nen the whole time’ w/like hisoka or st, OR a ‘YOU were using nen the whole time w/out realizing it’ w/gon

ok anyways. that hanzo fight was rough but also gon is literally the best. he was trying to bargain w/hanzo to figure out a way where they could come to a conclusion that would satisfy them both - despite hanzo clearly outmatching gon in skill, so the effort on hanzo’s part would be pointless and simply for gon’s benefit....basically the entire proposal sound ludicris and insulting to suggest (or st, idk how to phrase it), but since its gon of COURSE he only has the purest of intentions and means it so genuinely that you cant even be mad at him 

hanzo just knocking him out lmaoooo and then hes just out for the rest of the tournament???? thats so wild and...whatdya know....un-shounen! 

then he wakes up n his lil x-shaped forehead bandage....ough so cute

also the whole convo he and satotz had abt gon’s victory and hunter license and earning/deserving it was so good :’) 

also i feel like the show did a good job of humanizing characters like satotz. i legit thought he was a robot or st at first but it feels more like hes just A Guy now,....albeit a weird guy, but thats to be expected. its like, yeah this guy also took the hunter exam at one point, wow.

anways this is already long and i havent even gotten to the killua stuff yet lol so im gonna stop here for now. and introducing a new segment..........the prediction corner! where i dump my speculations/predictions, entirely for my future self’s benefit 

PREDICTIONS: 

first off as i alluded to above, i think that hisoka has some sort of connection to the phantom troupe (does he know them? maybe not, but he knows where to find them? idk) and when he saw kurapikas red eyes, was able to figure out that whole deal and said st to kurapika during that fight like ‘hey i can help you find the phantom troupe if you want :))))’ 

i kinda said this earlier but i predict that kurapika might get really wrapped up in revenge and go off the rails a bit. we’ll see, so far that hasnt really happened, but for some reason i kinda think that it will? we’ll see

i (incorrectly) predicted that killua would have known that illumi was there the whole time, considering that he was able to noticing the hunter exam dudes following him in phase 4, etc....but BOY was i wrong about that oof 

iiii think that the whole ‘the hunter exam isnt over yet!!!’ stuff will be an opportunity for killua to pass this year still, maybe? idk abt that tho 

i have more predictions but i forgot :( also some of them are more relevant to the next few eps ill make a post on